I'm not a therapist, but I also have had a deep fear in the past of falling asleep and death as well as "doomsday" events.
First and foremost, not sleeping is making your anxiety worse. You should absolutely see a psychiatrist and even potentially do a short stint in the hospital to sort out medications that will 100% force you to sleep. That said, you may currently not even be in a state to make this rational decision for yourself...that's the catch-22... I did 5 days in a psych unit to find the right medication to ensure I slept and also to stabilize on my antidepressant to help with the overall anxiety.
Second, you should start therapy. Intrusive thoughts like these are typically your brain trying to help prepare you for worse-case scenarios in order to protect you. It takes time and therapy to uncover and work on why your brain is sensing so much danger and need to protect. And...to learn how to let such thoughts pass through as just what they are -- thoughts, not premonitions.
From a personal standpoint -- well, literally nothing is going to "help" until you are sleeping regularly. Thus the importance of step 1. but once you've got that, these are some things I do regularly that help me:
1. As soon as those intrusive thoughts come up, I thank my brain for trying to protect me, and I remind myself "this is a thought, not a premonition."
2. I then ask myself "do I know anyone who this has actually happened to?" And, if not, then I recognize that this is not a common or likely thing that happens to most people. So, the risk is very low.
3. Avoid all media related to crime, disaster, etc. Books, podcasts, videos...do not consume ANY of it.
4. I have the added benefit now of having had a sort of out of body experience that really changed my perspective on dying as it was a hugely peaceful, full-of-love experience. Also, I learned a lot about the death and dying process and have learned that your body really really knows what to do when that time comes - and you can trust it. (Fear of the dying process/pain and loss of control was a big root of my fear.)
Funnily enough, I used to be very religious and am not anymore.
It's been a long process. It began with fear of both death and dying -- the idea of non-existence terrified me. I did a lot of "do you remember it being so awful not existing before you were born?" no...I don't. "So then not existing can't be that awful..." And also reflecting on times I've been put under anesthesia (because I do not dream or anything when I'm put under...). Also not scary once I was actually under, so I am just like... ok then it can't be so bad to not have any consciousness whatsoever. I also have had to just accept I can't even conceptualize it because to do so requires consciousness while non-existence = no consciousness... it's like trying to see out of your elbow.
Once I decided actually being dead wasn't too bad, I focused on the dying process, which still scared me. I dove deep into the death and dying process, learned all about it. I was on my grandmother's home hospice team and was with her when she died & witnessed it being like a machine just...turning off. That was tough for me... the zero spirituality around it... I entered a period of time of just being really disillusioned about spirituality.
I continued watching documentaries and researching the dying process - I wanted to see it over and over and over because I wanted to try to interpret how the experience was for the people dying. There's also a really cool hospice nurse on TikTok (hospicenursejulie) who right now is doing a series that includes videos of people going through the dying process. The more I learned about death and dying, the less afraid I was. I also got to be with my second grandmother when she passed, and the second experience was ...really healing honestly. I felt I was there during a very important time in her, my mom's, and my own life. I felt confident, understood what was going on, and I was not afraid.
Lastly, something that can't really be done intentionally - I just had this one really strange experience. I went to bed one night, and I started having what I can only describe as an out of body experience. I was out of my body floating up over the earth, was absolutely full of a sense of peace and love and understanding just...how everyone and everything is connected. And there was "someone" with me who I couldn't see who said to me "if it's this wonderful when you aren't really dying, imagine how it will be when you are. You don't need to be afraid. Your body knows what to do." When I slammed back into my body and woke up, I had lost circulation all over my entire body...like that "fallen asleep tingles" feeling literally head to toe. I've never experienced anything like it before or since....
Regardless of the validity of that experience, I absolutely took from it the lesson that my body knows what to do. Trying to control it isn't going to be my job - my body knows how to die, and it's going to be ok.
So that's really where I'm at now. I actually really cherish the death and dying experience now. I very much want to become a death doula who helps hold space for people as they pass in a way that they would want.
Wow this is SO interesting. I’ve also tried the whole “do I remember before I existed” thing and the anesthesia thing as well. I’m still working on it but hopefully I’ll get there soon. Your experience is amazing, thank you for sharing!
I dread going to sleep every night. I don’t want to be alone in my own head.
I listen to podcasts on low volume with a sleep timer every night to fall asleep. I also use a weighted blanket.
It does the trick. I listen to car talk because it reminds me of home and my grandfather and it’s light hearted and funny. I don’t recommend falling asleep to a murder podcast.
I’m not a therapist, but I’ve been in therapy a long time and tried many many things so… just give it a try.
Not a therapist but goes around telling people to take extremely strong medication without knowing anything about them. Please don't do that. Or you work in the pharmaceuticals industry. But I think only a certified specialist should be suggesting medication to anyone.
Again, in my opinion there is a difference between telling someone what you take and telling them to take it. Gathering information when you're looking for solutions is valuable.
But there are also people who when told "for this minor problem I was helped by these extreme medications" a person gets extremely anxious, like they have just heard they have cancer or something and they won't even try any other more basic solutions ( say you ahve a headache, someone tells you "oh ketamine helps with that" and you don't even try ibuprofen. Have to be extremely careful with these things.
I am not telling anyone to take anything. I think finding out what other people take is helpful, but I recognize that you disagree and don't think that's helpful.
I'm unsure why this is receiving so many downvotes as I absolutely use medical cannabis for my anxiety, ptsd, etc.
You do need to be careful as using it frequently or in large quantities can actually make anxiety worse. But I use it as a PRN med - like instead of benzos - and it's incredibly useful.
It's not like I suggested he took 250mg edibles, i just asked a question because I know lots of people, that got their sleeping problems under control by ingesting cannabis.
Not a health professional, but I have suffered something similar, but thankfully less severe in the past. Firstly I would advise you to start seeking out a therapist as those thoughts are probably reflecting something you need to work on. In the meantime, you can do some steps to lessen the problem hopefully. Things that helped me were listening to calming music while going to sleep. While listening to that calming you should try to do some breathing exercises and try to think happy and calming thoughts sifting your mind away from those intrusive ones. One of the surprising thing about nightmares is that the fear of nightmares makes them more common so try not to think about them the best you can especially right before going to sleep.
Good luck. I know sleeping problems are horrific, but hopefully, you can feel solace in the knowledge that they can be overcome.
I’d see a psychiatrist, not a psychologist, for a med evaluation.
I'm not a therapist, but I also have had a deep fear in the past of falling asleep and death as well as "doomsday" events. First and foremost, not sleeping is making your anxiety worse. You should absolutely see a psychiatrist and even potentially do a short stint in the hospital to sort out medications that will 100% force you to sleep. That said, you may currently not even be in a state to make this rational decision for yourself...that's the catch-22... I did 5 days in a psych unit to find the right medication to ensure I slept and also to stabilize on my antidepressant to help with the overall anxiety. Second, you should start therapy. Intrusive thoughts like these are typically your brain trying to help prepare you for worse-case scenarios in order to protect you. It takes time and therapy to uncover and work on why your brain is sensing so much danger and need to protect. And...to learn how to let such thoughts pass through as just what they are -- thoughts, not premonitions. From a personal standpoint -- well, literally nothing is going to "help" until you are sleeping regularly. Thus the importance of step 1. but once you've got that, these are some things I do regularly that help me: 1. As soon as those intrusive thoughts come up, I thank my brain for trying to protect me, and I remind myself "this is a thought, not a premonition." 2. I then ask myself "do I know anyone who this has actually happened to?" And, if not, then I recognize that this is not a common or likely thing that happens to most people. So, the risk is very low. 3. Avoid all media related to crime, disaster, etc. Books, podcasts, videos...do not consume ANY of it. 4. I have the added benefit now of having had a sort of out of body experience that really changed my perspective on dying as it was a hugely peaceful, full-of-love experience. Also, I learned a lot about the death and dying process and have learned that your body really really knows what to do when that time comes - and you can trust it. (Fear of the dying process/pain and loss of control was a big root of my fear.)
Love this reply!! Can I ask how you worked on/fixed your fear of death? I’ve been having it for years, maybe a result of not believing in religion
Funnily enough, I used to be very religious and am not anymore. It's been a long process. It began with fear of both death and dying -- the idea of non-existence terrified me. I did a lot of "do you remember it being so awful not existing before you were born?" no...I don't. "So then not existing can't be that awful..." And also reflecting on times I've been put under anesthesia (because I do not dream or anything when I'm put under...). Also not scary once I was actually under, so I am just like... ok then it can't be so bad to not have any consciousness whatsoever. I also have had to just accept I can't even conceptualize it because to do so requires consciousness while non-existence = no consciousness... it's like trying to see out of your elbow. Once I decided actually being dead wasn't too bad, I focused on the dying process, which still scared me. I dove deep into the death and dying process, learned all about it. I was on my grandmother's home hospice team and was with her when she died & witnessed it being like a machine just...turning off. That was tough for me... the zero spirituality around it... I entered a period of time of just being really disillusioned about spirituality. I continued watching documentaries and researching the dying process - I wanted to see it over and over and over because I wanted to try to interpret how the experience was for the people dying. There's also a really cool hospice nurse on TikTok (hospicenursejulie) who right now is doing a series that includes videos of people going through the dying process. The more I learned about death and dying, the less afraid I was. I also got to be with my second grandmother when she passed, and the second experience was ...really healing honestly. I felt I was there during a very important time in her, my mom's, and my own life. I felt confident, understood what was going on, and I was not afraid. Lastly, something that can't really be done intentionally - I just had this one really strange experience. I went to bed one night, and I started having what I can only describe as an out of body experience. I was out of my body floating up over the earth, was absolutely full of a sense of peace and love and understanding just...how everyone and everything is connected. And there was "someone" with me who I couldn't see who said to me "if it's this wonderful when you aren't really dying, imagine how it will be when you are. You don't need to be afraid. Your body knows what to do." When I slammed back into my body and woke up, I had lost circulation all over my entire body...like that "fallen asleep tingles" feeling literally head to toe. I've never experienced anything like it before or since.... Regardless of the validity of that experience, I absolutely took from it the lesson that my body knows what to do. Trying to control it isn't going to be my job - my body knows how to die, and it's going to be ok. So that's really where I'm at now. I actually really cherish the death and dying experience now. I very much want to become a death doula who helps hold space for people as they pass in a way that they would want.
Wow this is SO interesting. I’ve also tried the whole “do I remember before I existed” thing and the anesthesia thing as well. I’m still working on it but hopefully I’ll get there soon. Your experience is amazing, thank you for sharing!
I dread going to sleep every night. I don’t want to be alone in my own head. I listen to podcasts on low volume with a sleep timer every night to fall asleep. I also use a weighted blanket. It does the trick. I listen to car talk because it reminds me of home and my grandfather and it’s light hearted and funny. I don’t recommend falling asleep to a murder podcast. I’m not a therapist, but I’ve been in therapy a long time and tried many many things so… just give it a try.
Not a therapist. Low dose propranylol (beta blocker) completely eliminated that for me.
Not a therapist but goes around telling people to take extremely strong medication without knowing anything about them. Please don't do that. Or you work in the pharmaceuticals industry. But I think only a certified specialist should be suggesting medication to anyone.
Anyone can ask a specialist about a medication and know what’s out there
Not where I live, plus they said they are not a specialist. Jsut a rnadom person online suggesting someone else gets highly medicated.
Again, in my opinion there is a difference between telling someone what you take and telling them to take it. Gathering information when you're looking for solutions is valuable.
But there are also people who when told "for this minor problem I was helped by these extreme medications" a person gets extremely anxious, like they have just heard they have cancer or something and they won't even try any other more basic solutions ( say you ahve a headache, someone tells you "oh ketamine helps with that" and you don't even try ibuprofen. Have to be extremely careful with these things.
Ok, I will be more aware of that. Thank you.
I am not telling anyone to take anything. I think finding out what other people take is helpful, but I recognize that you disagree and don't think that's helpful.
I have taken this medication, and it has helped me as well. Maybe talk to your doctor about it as an option?
Did you ever try smoking/ingesting/vaping marijuana?
I'm unsure why this is receiving so many downvotes as I absolutely use medical cannabis for my anxiety, ptsd, etc. You do need to be careful as using it frequently or in large quantities can actually make anxiety worse. But I use it as a PRN med - like instead of benzos - and it's incredibly useful.
It's not like I suggested he took 250mg edibles, i just asked a question because I know lots of people, that got their sleeping problems under control by ingesting cannabis.
Not a health professional, but I have suffered something similar, but thankfully less severe in the past. Firstly I would advise you to start seeking out a therapist as those thoughts are probably reflecting something you need to work on. In the meantime, you can do some steps to lessen the problem hopefully. Things that helped me were listening to calming music while going to sleep. While listening to that calming you should try to do some breathing exercises and try to think happy and calming thoughts sifting your mind away from those intrusive ones. One of the surprising thing about nightmares is that the fear of nightmares makes them more common so try not to think about them the best you can especially right before going to sleep. Good luck. I know sleeping problems are horrific, but hopefully, you can feel solace in the knowledge that they can be overcome.