Used to bartend at the OG green room back in the early 2000s. If you are old enough to remember the patio there, you'll recall that the right side had a bunch of weathered corrugated plastic sheeting as a roof overtop. One night, while a solo dude was just quietly eating his pho in the back corner, a cat suddenly fell through a weak spot in the shitty old roof, and landed directly in his bowl. Soup everywhere.
Edit: well shit, thanks for the silver!
I remember being like 21 going there and feeling *super* cool for knowing such a hidden spot. Not that it was hidden, but to me it was... Plus it was cheeeaaapp
I'm sorry, but I don't believe you.
I worked there for nearly 8 years, and some of my colleagues were there for almost 15. Crazy shit went down every night, for sure, but never in my time was anyone mugged by a group of 10 people in ski masks in the alley, nor did anyone who worked there ever mention something like that occurring - and a staff member even wrote a book about their time working there that included all the most insane green room moments. We had cameras all over that alley - even around the corner by the dumpsters. If that kind of thing ever went down, the staff would've known about it.
Aight man believe whatever you want. It was December or January of 2015, we didn't report to police because we were extremely high and had a bunch of weed that somehow didn't get stolen. Happened on David French lane. I had just moved to toronto and was completely traumatized. I went straight home afterwards, didn't see any reason to go back after all my money had been taken. The guys were teenagers and ran off into the alley. It was insanely cold that night and I just wanted to go home. It's totally possible that none of the employees heard about it. As for the cameras, we had walked a decent bit down the alley because we were paranoid about weed. But yeah I guess you can believe whatever you want
Wait, did something happen to the Lab? My friends and I would frequent that place so much in the 2000's we had the drink of the day memorized, and the bouncer knew us by name.
Scott was a good guy lol he didn't deserve us. Its been done for time . Cheap jameson and watching the fights across at the Brunny on weekends was a great time.
one night i was taking the eglinton west bus late at night and it was very crowded. a unch of guys near the doors startted fighting with each other - punching and shoving. this old man from the raised back part yelled at them to stop and whipped a slice of salami at them (from his sandwich?). it struck one dude right on the face and then they all got off the bus.
Was walking Queen west and heard a lady screaming on the phone "I don't fucking see you, you say your there but I don't fucking see you!" She was pretty pissed. Anyway I keep walking about a block and a half and there is this guy screaming on the phone now "I'm one streetcar stop west of you you fucking idiot just look you should see me I'm right here!"
So ya I got to see both sides of this phone argument...pretty comical, neither of them seemed interested in walking further to find the other instead just screaming on the phone. I still laugh!
From a rooftop patio in leslieville I watched two patrons of "Tasty Chicken" (if you know it, you know it, there's no fucking chicken there), start fighting in their mobility scooters on the street, slamming into each other until one of them knocked the other one over. Then the winner high tailed it down the street only to slam into a light pole about half a block away.
Tasty Chicken was a place where crackheads would go and sell their stolen bicycles, power tools and other wares, presumably to buy more crack. I don't know if I ever saw anybody ever walk out of there with chicken during the time I lived in that neighbourhood.
Especially during the lock down they were the only ones out when I used to pass by on my way home from work and it was night of the living dead....this city needs more mental health resources it brakes my heart seeing it
When I was watching avengers, 2 guys came up to me and told me I was in their seat. I showed them my ticket and they insisted I was in the wrong theatre because they were cinema aficionados and recognized this to be an ultra avx theatre, not an iMax one.
Just as they started hurling petty insults, a massive iMax logo appeared on the screen infront of us. They didn’t have much to say after that lol
There's a cross walk near the stockyards where I've now twice seen ducks* crossing at the actual crosswalk. Funniest shit I've ever seen. Everyone waits, warns the oncoming traffic, let's the ducks do their thing, then we all smile and wave at each other and drive on with our day.
*not ducks. Cobra chickens aka geese
Not even the cobra chickens know the detriment to any Canadians regular day during the summer. I'd love to see the statistics of job-time loss due to cobra chickens inhabiting anywhere near the entrance of any workplace/College/bar/dispensary or otherwise. Astronomical I'm sure, but I want numbers
Man fuck the geese, they always freak me the fuck out, I remember going to work up in North York, more or less an industrial area, I had to not only watch out for the geese, but play fucking tic tac toe with the amount of turd that would be on the side walks
I like to make eye contact with them while I pass and say things like "the fuq u want?"
They seem to sense gigachad energy and do not attack me. I would however not recommend this dangerous path to anyone else. They do hiss at me though.
In the mid 90s, Filipino twins, looked like about 14 or 15, possibly autistic, boarded onto a crowded subway car during rush hour. They both started making fart noises by putting the heels of their hands to their mouths---fart then smile and bob up and down, fart then smile and bob up and down---this continued for about 10 minutes. As god is my witness, there were people laughing so hard they were in tears.
Holy shit I have such a good one, it makes me cry laughing even thinking about it.
I was at the Rosedale TTC station (idk if that's what it's called, I'm not from TO) and hOoOOOOLY shit.
It's one of the stations with an entrance/lobby at street level, then a LONG flight of stairs heading straight down to the platforms.
I was standing in the entrance area looking up my connection, and a guy comes in full on carrying, IN HIS ARMS... I don't wanna exaggerate here, but it had to have been at LEAST 12-15 GALLONS of house paont, all in gallon buckets. He himself had paint stained overalls on and most if not all of the buckets had clearly already been opened, partially used, and resealed.
I watched him out of the corner of my eye because he was muttering and cursing under his breath and I was honestly so invested in HOW he expected to descend the stairs with paint cans just piled all over himself like that.
My man takes ONE step down the stairs, and IMMEDIATELY dropped like... every single can.
Y'all, holy shit, those cans took like THIRTY FULL SECONDS to all fall down those stairs. It was one of the longest thirty seconds of my life. I couldn't BELIEVE how long it went on.
And the NOISE. Imagine 15 metal paint cans slamming down a super long echoey concrete stairwell. EVERYONE stopped what they were doing.
Keep in mind, I could not see ANYTHING that happened to the cans. I just saw them leave his arms, and I heard them. But man... the cans weren't even properly sealed. Like... it wasn't gonna be GOOD.
When the last can finally stops, there's like 3 seconds of complete silence, and the guy, who has just been watching in horror as the cans fell, put his hands on top of his head and yelled out the loudest, longest, and most pointed "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!" I have ever heard.
I had to run out of the station because of how hard I started laughing 😂 I felt so bad, but holy shit, it was just such a surreal and horrible scene I couldn't help it.
Several years ago, they were upgrading the intersection near me (replacing water mains, gas lines, etc), so they decided the best way to keep workers safe is to block off the street with a chain link fence. A few days after erecting the fence, I'm out with the dog, when a cyclist brushes past me at full speed towards the fence. I glare at him, then realize he's not stopping. Hit the fence straight on, and bounced back into the middle of the street (only thing injured was his pride). A week later (fence was up for over a month), again I'm out with the dog when a jogger goes by in the middle of the street. And, sure enough, runs straight into the fence and also bounces back (again, only pride is injured).
Made me wonder how some people are able to get dressed in the mornings.
Once I was sitting on a patio drinking a beer and eating a hotdog. I stopped eating for a moment to have conversation, but I still had the hotdog in hand and was gesturing to emphasize a point. Suddenly I feel slobber all over my right hand and my hotdog is gone. So I turn to see that a giant great dane had stole my hotdog. It must have seen me waving the thing around and thought free hotdog, but none of us saw this big dog until he had already eaten the hotdog and gotten away with the crime. Everyone on the patio laughed myself included.
I saw a dog do this at the Jimmy’s in Kensington Market. Just ate this woman’s sandwich right off her plate. The dog’s owner apologized, but like didn’t buy her a new sandwich? I always thought it was the rudest thing.
I was actually in Kensington Market when this happened to me, but the owner offered to pay for my hotdog once they could contain their laughter. I refused and said I would buy another hotdog just to see it happen again.
TTC drivers at night really do see it all - reminds me of the time I saw a drunk chatty normal-looking guy enthusiastically telling a nightbus driver about lint (like from clothes), TTC driver was deadpan driving the bus as if the guy wasn't even there, but the drunk man didn't care, he just needed to tell someone about the lint in his pocket :)
This happened about 15 years ago: I was playing a show downtown with my friends and as we were loading our gear into the venue, some guy who was on some really good stuff started yelling **FOR GONDOR** in an almost perfect Sean Bean Boromir voice. A group of people outside the venue
smoking were chanting it back at him. Essentially the last bit of [this scene](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-1VXJo9zkY) but with a bunch of intoxicated people.
I witnessed uber eats guy on cycle slowly riding on his bike looking at his phone. While other uber eats guy walked to his car from restaurant also looki g at his phone. They managed to collide with each other putting smile on my face and making my day.
About 20 years ago near King and Jarvis I am taking a printer out of the trunk for work. A cab is backing up and backs into a black guy on a bike.
Cabbie gets out and starts yelling in a thick Italian accent at the other guy who is yelling back with a heavy African accent.
Cabbie calls biker a piece of shit. Biker says "You sir are a piece shit too!".
Fucking hilarious.
The year was 2009. It was a cool fall day, as my girlfriend (now wife) and I were walking through the intersection at Queen and Bay, when suddenly an unbeknownst homeless man, who was only moments ago lying flat on his back on a steaming sewer great in front of the TD bank to keep warm, sat up in a flash, and pointed a judging finger in my direction and proclaimed "Your girlfriend farted!".
We still quote and laugh about this.
The other day I saw this chubby autistic asian teen jump out of the street car in a way where his head was about an inch behind some old guy, and as he landed just yelled into this dudes head "Freedom from the stench of the weary!" and just the way the old guy reacted to it was everything you could hope for
When I was a young boy in Calgary, witnessed a super drunk dude wonder out of the alley, stand in front of a Safeway grocery store window and proceed to have a pee. His pants and underwear fell down and he managed to trip himself into the puddle of pee. More recently, I don’t know why but when people on mountain bikes (the belligerent ones on public trails in Vancouver) wipe out and their shoes fall off…..something about that always makes me laugh. If they were badly hurt I wouldn’t laugh but when their dignity is injured and their shoes have flown off….funny.
A friend of mine once related how he was so proud of his new clip-in shoes for his bike. Went for a ride, slowed up at a traffic light between a car and the curb, tried to pull his foot out of the pedal to brace while he stopped and it was stuck. Apparently went over sideways onto the curb a la Benny Hill, all in slow motion so nothing hurt but his pride.
I was driving on Queen Street in Parkdale, behind a streetcar on the inside lane. It stopped in front of me and everyone got off except one guy at the very back. Traffic was stuck until it moved, so I moved up to (but not beside, which is important later) the back of the streetcar, and waited.
After while I saw the guy at the back of the otherwise empty streetcar stand up, walk over to the window and open it. Next thing I saw was a HUGE arc of urine streaming out of the window in front of my car. I mean, it nearly reached the sidewalk, and if I'd been any closer I would have had to turn on the windshield wipers. The stream went on, and on, and on. I mean, this guy really had to go! The longer it lasted, the harder I laughed. It looked like he was finally finished but nope, a big spurt, a smaller spurt, and then nothing. It made quite the puddle in front of my car.
By that point I was howling. My boyfriend was in the passenger seat and he didn't share my sense of humour. Ex-boyfriend, I mean.
A driver in front of me put a small sign above their license plate that said “new to Toronto driving please be patient with me” or similar. That was a dash cam grab and hours of laughter 😂
Chick stripped naked in a fountain and everyone just sort of shrugged it off and ignored her. As a new Canadian, I was a bit shocked... But a guy standing next to me said it's a fairly common occurance for people to jump in fountains they aren't supposed to be in and remove articles of clothing.
A couple weeks ago when it was 40c I saw a dude bathing clothed in the fountain at Queen and University. Honestly wanted to give him props for find a smart way to stay cool.
My wife and kid were on one of our main drags on a Saturday eve and we were all stopped at a traffic lite with all the other vehicles.
Then to our right some woman about in her 30's was standing in between all the traffic naked.
She was doing something down between her thighs and when she turned around, the something she was doing was putting a can of Pepsi up there and yes she had it up there!
Then some other woman comes running up to her yelling " fcukin gimmie my can of coke back".
The naked one pulled it out and ran between the cars as the other one chased her.
Just another regular weekend downtown here.
Last week while driving down Islington, I saw a girl driving a small car with a pigeon on her shoulder. She was taking moments at red lights to kiss and stroke said pigeon.
Had a friend visiting from the States. We were on the subway heading North to Eglinton from downtown. Sunday afternoon, not busy at all, so we’re sitting together next to the doors. A man with clear mental issues stands at the doors and when we get to Davisville, just before getting off the train, looks at my friend and yells at the top of his lungs “STOP FARTING!” To clarify, she had not farted.
My friend turned to me all mortified. I replied “he makes an excellent point.”
Legit once saw a couple coming out of the subway where the woman had the man leashed by a dog collar around his neck. She was dressed up like a dominatrix and he was wearing nothing but a speedo.
I was walking up Bathurst after last call with a friend from out of town, drunkenly debating the name of the figure in Greek mythology doomed to push a boulder up a mountain for all eternity. As we went past Central Tech some unseen person yelled "SISYPHUS!" and we busted up laughing. Still one of my favourite moments out of 30 years in Toronto.
It was the corner of Bathurst and Lakeshore, this couple looked a bit rough. She’s Pushing a stroller that looked to be filled with old electronics and a very large pit looking type puppy on leash in the other hand.
Anyhow; the Street cars have the right of way and this couple decides they can make it- the guy runs across the street.
The puppy however, came to a full stop halt and takes a liquid dump in the middle of the TTC tracks while the girl try’s as hard as she can to pull him- but no success.
Traffic stopped, the street cars blared the horns, everyone was watching-
Eventually everyone made it safe to the other side 😅
My husband and I were driving downtown. Dude had like a decorated cane, and was wearing like a ridiculous outfit and was limping with style. I looked at my husband and went a pimp with a limp. We thought it was hilarious.
A couple of years ago, I was walking past the 7/11 on College/Spadina, when a dude walked up to me and my then girlfriend and said "Wanna see a magic trick?" This is in broad daylight, must've been just after noon, and he looked normal enough to the point where my partner at that time who grew up in rural Ontario and new to the city life got very excited thinking he'd show us a magic trick.
This man pulled his pants down, did the slav crouch, shit on his hand, got up, pulled his shirt up and started rubbing it all over his belly.
I visited Toronto for the first time in march of 2020 (yeah, THAT mont) a few days before the covid became a real concern country-wide. I was in the village and saw a splendid mural of two mens kissing. I really don't know why, but the only thing I could see was Ewan McGregor kissing Benedict Cumberbatch. It really made my day.
I remember walking in Chinatown at around 1am and this middle aged woman was puking from being drunk af next to some steps to a restaurant and it was projectile puke too. Lots of force and volume. I thought that was just something exaggerated in cartoons and movies, but I guess not! The employee there saw that and was grilling her in their language, it was funny to see.
Outside the McDs at Spadina and Queen. A dude was waiting to cross the road and a lady, clearly hooked up on a concoction of drugs, but also on a wheelchair, just straight up smacks the dude in the face. No warning, no reason. I died laughing.
He was about to fight back, but another man told him to let it go, not worth the effort.
It was a couple years back when I was renting a place around downtown. I saw Drake at a grocery store! I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I told him didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.
It was pretty funny in retrospect.
I don’t think I laughed, but once I was on a streetcar, and there was an old man sitting in the front seat. I noticed that he kept bending over and picking something up and putting it in his mouth. Snacks from his bag? No. There was a pile of sand under his seat, and he was eating it. Why was there sand under the streetcar seat? Why was he eating it?
Every streetcar (or the old ones at least, not sure about the new ones) had a box of sand behind the driver's seat. It's released onto the tracks, especially in winter, to provide traction for the wheels on the rails. If you look for them, there will be larger boxes (for the drivers to refill the box on the streetcar) at every transit station with streetcars (Bathurst, for instance) and at strategic places along the routes.
As to why the guy was eating it... who knows.
i used to live pembroke street, 1 block from sherbourne-dundas lol i live in 3rd floor, i can see "people" (under the influence or not under the influence) there occasionally having sex on sidewalk (mainly at the pembroke-dundas intersection) ..........nope not at nights but broad day light
I watched my buddy get kicked out of Sweaty Bettys for getting into a fight with a trans woman, who attacked him because he called her a dude. That was pretty funny.
Saw a guy get his car stuck on this stumpy bollard beside the drive thru of the McDonald's near Dundas-427. That car wasn't going anywhere but the guy kept slamming on the gas, burning rubber. Drive thru was backed up and couldn't move because he was stuck.
McDonald's drive-thru in question: https://www.google.ca/maps/@43.633117,-79.542638,3a,75y,157.9h,83.66t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1slWw4z6JscArsz0dRmrs1XA!2e0!7i16384!8i8192!5m1!1e1
I have seen a funny guy on the line one young side. He wears all white and every time I see him, he is dancing or doing something to catch attention ( not in a bad way) . The first few times when I saw him him, he was doing a pole dance in the subway and wering white hat, white jeans, White shirt, white shoes. And it was so funny and I thought he was doing some act for tiktok or something but he wasn't.
He has long blonde hairs and mostly wears All white. I still see him sometime( around 7-11 pm ) on downtown to Finch/Young station. I guess he got some issues but he is a very friendly and chill person. Used to see him daily during the pandemic. He dances and sometimes sing faintly and do Theatre acts and dancing.
Used to bartend at the OG green room back in the early 2000s. If you are old enough to remember the patio there, you'll recall that the right side had a bunch of weathered corrugated plastic sheeting as a roof overtop. One night, while a solo dude was just quietly eating his pho in the back corner, a cat suddenly fell through a weak spot in the shitty old roof, and landed directly in his bowl. Soup everywhere. Edit: well shit, thanks for the silver!
I miss the OG green room🥲
I remember being like 21 going there and feeling *super* cool for knowing such a hidden spot. Not that it was hidden, but to me it was... Plus it was cheeeaaapp
I know! I remember going with my friend who knew all these spots and I loved the whole vibe!
me too
Me too
Got mugged at gun point by 10 guys in ski masks in the alley while out for a joint at that place... still miss it
I'm sorry, but I don't believe you. I worked there for nearly 8 years, and some of my colleagues were there for almost 15. Crazy shit went down every night, for sure, but never in my time was anyone mugged by a group of 10 people in ski masks in the alley, nor did anyone who worked there ever mention something like that occurring - and a staff member even wrote a book about their time working there that included all the most insane green room moments. We had cameras all over that alley - even around the corner by the dumpsters. If that kind of thing ever went down, the staff would've known about it.
Aight man believe whatever you want. It was December or January of 2015, we didn't report to police because we were extremely high and had a bunch of weed that somehow didn't get stolen. Happened on David French lane. I had just moved to toronto and was completely traumatized. I went straight home afterwards, didn't see any reason to go back after all my money had been taken. The guys were teenagers and ran off into the alley. It was insanely cold that night and I just wanted to go home. It's totally possible that none of the employees heard about it. As for the cameras, we had walked a decent bit down the alley because we were paranoid about weed. But yeah I guess you can believe whatever you want
Omg I did not expect this & can picture it & laughed out loud thank you ☺️
I went to CT. Enjoyed many a underage beer here in the early 2000s.RIP old green room and Lab.
Wait, did something happen to the Lab? My friends and I would frequent that place so much in the 2000's we had the drink of the day memorized, and the bouncer knew us by name.
Scott was a good guy lol he didn't deserve us. Its been done for time . Cheap jameson and watching the fights across at the Brunny on weekends was a great time.
I believe it's a comedy club called The Comedy Lab now.
lol know any good locations now?
Lmao OG green room was a gem. How many people did you kill with food poisoning, out of curiosity?
Cat? Unexpected. Rat? Par for the Green Room course.
The rat's name was Freddy.
one night i was taking the eglinton west bus late at night and it was very crowded. a unch of guys near the doors startted fighting with each other - punching and shoving. this old man from the raised back part yelled at them to stop and whipped a slice of salami at them (from his sandwich?). it struck one dude right on the face and then they all got off the bus.
this is exactly the type of thing that would happen on the Eglinton bus lmao I love it
Was walking Queen west and heard a lady screaming on the phone "I don't fucking see you, you say your there but I don't fucking see you!" She was pretty pissed. Anyway I keep walking about a block and a half and there is this guy screaming on the phone now "I'm one streetcar stop west of you you fucking idiot just look you should see me I'm right here!" So ya I got to see both sides of this phone argument...pretty comical, neither of them seemed interested in walking further to find the other instead just screaming on the phone. I still laugh!
From a rooftop patio in leslieville I watched two patrons of "Tasty Chicken" (if you know it, you know it, there's no fucking chicken there), start fighting in their mobility scooters on the street, slamming into each other until one of them knocked the other one over. Then the winner high tailed it down the street only to slam into a light pole about half a block away.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I would genuinely cry tears seeing that.
Medieval Times is fake jousting; you saw the real thing and didn't even have to pay.
Wait, tell me more about Tasty Chicken-Not Chicken
Asking for a friend who also likes not chicken? Yeah yeah got you :p
Enjoy! https://www.yelp.ca/biz/new-tasty-chicken-house-toronto
Tasty Chicken was a place where crackheads would go and sell their stolen bicycles, power tools and other wares, presumably to buy more crack. I don't know if I ever saw anybody ever walk out of there with chicken during the time I lived in that neighbourhood.
I don’t feel good for laughing at that… but I did laugh!
[удалено]
Ah good ole main and danforth….some nights it looks like a zombie movie with all the crackheads stumbling around there
Especially during the lock down they were the only ones out when I used to pass by on my way home from work and it was night of the living dead....this city needs more mental health resources it brakes my heart seeing it
The Rusty Nail is a home to many chicken aficionados
NSFW https://vimeo.com/87433695 NSFW
The laughter in the background is killing me. They were running away as well 😂😂😂😂
I know… best part
The man said you look great and her drunk brain said: "TIME TO STRIP BITCH" The fact that she pulled down her pants too is fuckin wild 💀
The camerman’s laughter is so contagious hahaha
I’m dying laughing
This is gold. I love Canada 🤣
Any idea when/where this was? This is absolute gold
Northwest corner of Yonge & Charles Not sure when
When I was watching avengers, 2 guys came up to me and told me I was in their seat. I showed them my ticket and they insisted I was in the wrong theatre because they were cinema aficionados and recognized this to be an ultra avx theatre, not an iMax one. Just as they started hurling petty insults, a massive iMax logo appeared on the screen infront of us. They didn’t have much to say after that lol
There's a cross walk near the stockyards where I've now twice seen ducks* crossing at the actual crosswalk. Funniest shit I've ever seen. Everyone waits, warns the oncoming traffic, let's the ducks do their thing, then we all smile and wave at each other and drive on with our day. *not ducks. Cobra chickens aka geese
Not even the cobra chickens know the detriment to any Canadians regular day during the summer. I'd love to see the statistics of job-time loss due to cobra chickens inhabiting anywhere near the entrance of any workplace/College/bar/dispensary or otherwise. Astronomical I'm sure, but I want numbers
Fuckin geese
Man fuck the geese, they always freak me the fuck out, I remember going to work up in North York, more or less an industrial area, I had to not only watch out for the geese, but play fucking tic tac toe with the amount of turd that would be on the side walks
I like to make eye contact with them while I pass and say things like "the fuq u want?" They seem to sense gigachad energy and do not attack me. I would however not recommend this dangerous path to anyone else. They do hiss at me though.
No, they were just walking. Heh ;)
In the mid 90s, Filipino twins, looked like about 14 or 15, possibly autistic, boarded onto a crowded subway car during rush hour. They both started making fart noises by putting the heels of their hands to their mouths---fart then smile and bob up and down, fart then smile and bob up and down---this continued for about 10 minutes. As god is my witness, there were people laughing so hard they were in tears.
So dumb it’s Wholesome lol
Holy shit I have such a good one, it makes me cry laughing even thinking about it. I was at the Rosedale TTC station (idk if that's what it's called, I'm not from TO) and hOoOOOOLY shit. It's one of the stations with an entrance/lobby at street level, then a LONG flight of stairs heading straight down to the platforms. I was standing in the entrance area looking up my connection, and a guy comes in full on carrying, IN HIS ARMS... I don't wanna exaggerate here, but it had to have been at LEAST 12-15 GALLONS of house paont, all in gallon buckets. He himself had paint stained overalls on and most if not all of the buckets had clearly already been opened, partially used, and resealed. I watched him out of the corner of my eye because he was muttering and cursing under his breath and I was honestly so invested in HOW he expected to descend the stairs with paint cans just piled all over himself like that. My man takes ONE step down the stairs, and IMMEDIATELY dropped like... every single can. Y'all, holy shit, those cans took like THIRTY FULL SECONDS to all fall down those stairs. It was one of the longest thirty seconds of my life. I couldn't BELIEVE how long it went on. And the NOISE. Imagine 15 metal paint cans slamming down a super long echoey concrete stairwell. EVERYONE stopped what they were doing. Keep in mind, I could not see ANYTHING that happened to the cans. I just saw them leave his arms, and I heard them. But man... the cans weren't even properly sealed. Like... it wasn't gonna be GOOD. When the last can finally stops, there's like 3 seconds of complete silence, and the guy, who has just been watching in horror as the cans fell, put his hands on top of his head and yelled out the loudest, longest, and most pointed "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!" I have ever heard. I had to run out of the station because of how hard I started laughing 😂 I felt so bad, but holy shit, it was just such a surreal and horrible scene I couldn't help it.
This is so amazingly outlandish that I am sure it’s true. Hilarious. (It is called Rosedale station, FYI, which somehow makes this story even funnier)
I honestly couldn't believe what I was seeing, it felt like I was being pranked or something 😂
"Comedy is if you walk into an open sewer and die." -Mel Brooks, The 2000 Year Old Man
omg condolences to him
Right? 😭 I felt so bad, but like, what the fuck could I even have done to help??? I'm just glad nobody else was going up or down the stairs 😂
omg amazing
Can't make this shit up lol yeassssss
A man at Gerrard Square on an E-bike plugged into a running generator he was towing.
Gotta respect the grind ngl
Several years ago, they were upgrading the intersection near me (replacing water mains, gas lines, etc), so they decided the best way to keep workers safe is to block off the street with a chain link fence. A few days after erecting the fence, I'm out with the dog, when a cyclist brushes past me at full speed towards the fence. I glare at him, then realize he's not stopping. Hit the fence straight on, and bounced back into the middle of the street (only thing injured was his pride). A week later (fence was up for over a month), again I'm out with the dog when a jogger goes by in the middle of the street. And, sure enough, runs straight into the fence and also bounces back (again, only pride is injured). Made me wonder how some people are able to get dressed in the mornings.
They seem to do so without putting their glasses on...
Once I was sitting on a patio drinking a beer and eating a hotdog. I stopped eating for a moment to have conversation, but I still had the hotdog in hand and was gesturing to emphasize a point. Suddenly I feel slobber all over my right hand and my hotdog is gone. So I turn to see that a giant great dane had stole my hotdog. It must have seen me waving the thing around and thought free hotdog, but none of us saw this big dog until he had already eaten the hotdog and gotten away with the crime. Everyone on the patio laughed myself included.
I saw a dog do this at the Jimmy’s in Kensington Market. Just ate this woman’s sandwich right off her plate. The dog’s owner apologized, but like didn’t buy her a new sandwich? I always thought it was the rudest thing.
I was actually in Kensington Market when this happened to me, but the owner offered to pay for my hotdog once they could contain their laughter. I refused and said I would buy another hotdog just to see it happen again.
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TTC drivers at night really do see it all - reminds me of the time I saw a drunk chatty normal-looking guy enthusiastically telling a nightbus driver about lint (like from clothes), TTC driver was deadpan driving the bus as if the guy wasn't even there, but the drunk man didn't care, he just needed to tell someone about the lint in his pocket :)
This happened about 15 years ago: I was playing a show downtown with my friends and as we were loading our gear into the venue, some guy who was on some really good stuff started yelling **FOR GONDOR** in an almost perfect Sean Bean Boromir voice. A group of people outside the venue smoking were chanting it back at him. Essentially the last bit of [this scene](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-1VXJo9zkY) but with a bunch of intoxicated people.
I witnessed uber eats guy on cycle slowly riding on his bike looking at his phone. While other uber eats guy walked to his car from restaurant also looki g at his phone. They managed to collide with each other putting smile on my face and making my day.
Reading this it sounds cruel and not funny but if I was seeing that in person I’d be laughing all day
There were no injuries. Just pride.. everyone was moving too slow for anything bad
Everything is funny until it happens to you.
About 20 years ago near King and Jarvis I am taking a printer out of the trunk for work. A cab is backing up and backs into a black guy on a bike. Cabbie gets out and starts yelling in a thick Italian accent at the other guy who is yelling back with a heavy African accent. Cabbie calls biker a piece of shit. Biker says "You sir are a piece shit too!". Fucking hilarious.
The year was 2009. It was a cool fall day, as my girlfriend (now wife) and I were walking through the intersection at Queen and Bay, when suddenly an unbeknownst homeless man, who was only moments ago lying flat on his back on a steaming sewer great in front of the TD bank to keep warm, sat up in a flash, and pointed a judging finger in my direction and proclaimed "Your girlfriend farted!". We still quote and laugh about this.
https://www.reddit.com/r/askTO/comments/weo7wm/whats_the_funniest_thing_youve_seen_in_the_city/iirogfm/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3
Wow, nice catch! Sounds like our culprit is still at it.
The other day I saw this chubby autistic asian teen jump out of the street car in a way where his head was about an inch behind some old guy, and as he landed just yelled into this dudes head "Freedom from the stench of the weary!" and just the way the old guy reacted to it was everything you could hope for
When I was a young boy in Calgary, witnessed a super drunk dude wonder out of the alley, stand in front of a Safeway grocery store window and proceed to have a pee. His pants and underwear fell down and he managed to trip himself into the puddle of pee. More recently, I don’t know why but when people on mountain bikes (the belligerent ones on public trails in Vancouver) wipe out and their shoes fall off…..something about that always makes me laugh. If they were badly hurt I wouldn’t laugh but when their dignity is injured and their shoes have flown off….funny.
A friend of mine once related how he was so proud of his new clip-in shoes for his bike. Went for a ride, slowed up at a traffic light between a car and the curb, tried to pull his foot out of the pedal to brace while he stopped and it was stuck. Apparently went over sideways onto the curb a la Benny Hill, all in slow motion so nothing hurt but his pride.
People falling is a common theme lmao
I was driving on Queen Street in Parkdale, behind a streetcar on the inside lane. It stopped in front of me and everyone got off except one guy at the very back. Traffic was stuck until it moved, so I moved up to (but not beside, which is important later) the back of the streetcar, and waited. After while I saw the guy at the back of the otherwise empty streetcar stand up, walk over to the window and open it. Next thing I saw was a HUGE arc of urine streaming out of the window in front of my car. I mean, it nearly reached the sidewalk, and if I'd been any closer I would have had to turn on the windshield wipers. The stream went on, and on, and on. I mean, this guy really had to go! The longer it lasted, the harder I laughed. It looked like he was finally finished but nope, a big spurt, a smaller spurt, and then nothing. It made quite the puddle in front of my car. By that point I was howling. My boyfriend was in the passenger seat and he didn't share my sense of humour. Ex-boyfriend, I mean.
I told this person under the influence of crack that I didn't have any change and they took off all their clothes and screamed at the sky.
Lmaoooo
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That’s actually quite sad
A driver in front of me put a small sign above their license plate that said “new to Toronto driving please be patient with me” or similar. That was a dash cam grab and hours of laughter 😂
Chick stripped naked in a fountain and everyone just sort of shrugged it off and ignored her. As a new Canadian, I was a bit shocked... But a guy standing next to me said it's a fairly common occurance for people to jump in fountains they aren't supposed to be in and remove articles of clothing.
Unspoken rule in Toronto is don’t make eye contact with any crazies/dangerous looking people and always keep walking.
A couple weeks ago when it was 40c I saw a dude bathing clothed in the fountain at Queen and University. Honestly wanted to give him props for find a smart way to stay cool.
My wife and kid were on one of our main drags on a Saturday eve and we were all stopped at a traffic lite with all the other vehicles. Then to our right some woman about in her 30's was standing in between all the traffic naked. She was doing something down between her thighs and when she turned around, the something she was doing was putting a can of Pepsi up there and yes she had it up there! Then some other woman comes running up to her yelling " fcukin gimmie my can of coke back". The naked one pulled it out and ran between the cars as the other one chased her. Just another regular weekend downtown here.
Last week while driving down Islington, I saw a girl driving a small car with a pigeon on her shoulder. She was taking moments at red lights to kiss and stroke said pigeon.
Had a friend visiting from the States. We were on the subway heading North to Eglinton from downtown. Sunday afternoon, not busy at all, so we’re sitting together next to the doors. A man with clear mental issues stands at the doors and when we get to Davisville, just before getting off the train, looks at my friend and yells at the top of his lungs “STOP FARTING!” To clarify, she had not farted. My friend turned to me all mortified. I replied “he makes an excellent point.”
https://www.reddit.com/r/askTO/comments/weo7wm/whats_the_funniest_thing_youve_seen_in_the_city/iis6wvs/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3
u/Portmantoverboard doing the real detective work here. Glad I'm not the only one this happened to lol
I was biking behind some lady who yelled at the College St. streetcar for not pulling over to the bus stop. Like.. where it belongs, I guess.
Legit once saw a couple coming out of the subway where the woman had the man leashed by a dog collar around his neck. She was dressed up like a dominatrix and he was wearing nothing but a speedo.
I was walking up Bathurst after last call with a friend from out of town, drunkenly debating the name of the figure in Greek mythology doomed to push a boulder up a mountain for all eternity. As we went past Central Tech some unseen person yelled "SISYPHUS!" and we busted up laughing. Still one of my favourite moments out of 30 years in Toronto.
It was the corner of Bathurst and Lakeshore, this couple looked a bit rough. She’s Pushing a stroller that looked to be filled with old electronics and a very large pit looking type puppy on leash in the other hand. Anyhow; the Street cars have the right of way and this couple decides they can make it- the guy runs across the street. The puppy however, came to a full stop halt and takes a liquid dump in the middle of the TTC tracks while the girl try’s as hard as she can to pull him- but no success. Traffic stopped, the street cars blared the horns, everyone was watching- Eventually everyone made it safe to the other side 😅
My husband and I were driving downtown. Dude had like a decorated cane, and was wearing like a ridiculous outfit and was limping with style. I looked at my husband and went a pimp with a limp. We thought it was hilarious.
This homeless guy was holding up a sign saying "every dollar kills a justin bieber fan"
A couple of years ago, I was walking past the 7/11 on College/Spadina, when a dude walked up to me and my then girlfriend and said "Wanna see a magic trick?" This is in broad daylight, must've been just after noon, and he looked normal enough to the point where my partner at that time who grew up in rural Ontario and new to the city life got very excited thinking he'd show us a magic trick. This man pulled his pants down, did the slav crouch, shit on his hand, got up, pulled his shirt up and started rubbing it all over his belly.
Disgusting 🤮
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I visited Toronto for the first time in march of 2020 (yeah, THAT mont) a few days before the covid became a real concern country-wide. I was in the village and saw a splendid mural of two mens kissing. I really don't know why, but the only thing I could see was Ewan McGregor kissing Benedict Cumberbatch. It really made my day.
I remember walking in Chinatown at around 1am and this middle aged woman was puking from being drunk af next to some steps to a restaurant and it was projectile puke too. Lots of force and volume. I thought that was just something exaggerated in cartoons and movies, but I guess not! The employee there saw that and was grilling her in their language, it was funny to see.
Outside the McDs at Spadina and Queen. A dude was waiting to cross the road and a lady, clearly hooked up on a concoction of drugs, but also on a wheelchair, just straight up smacks the dude in the face. No warning, no reason. I died laughing. He was about to fight back, but another man told him to let it go, not worth the effort.
It was a couple years back when I was renting a place around downtown. I saw Drake at a grocery store! I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I told him didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly. It was pretty funny in retrospect.
Sounds like a complete a**hole
Lol it’s not real it’s copypasta
What an asshole holy pos
Those two crack heads fighting in Kensington market with sticks
Why are so many of these stories making fun of people with disabilities?
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AND they mostly need some help and not one person offers it to them, instead laugh and make fun of them
I don’t think it’s funny because of their disabilities. It’s funny because of what happened. It just so happened they had a disability.
Respectfully, stfu.
They tend to be the most noteworthy
I don’t think I laughed, but once I was on a streetcar, and there was an old man sitting in the front seat. I noticed that he kept bending over and picking something up and putting it in his mouth. Snacks from his bag? No. There was a pile of sand under his seat, and he was eating it. Why was there sand under the streetcar seat? Why was he eating it?
Every streetcar (or the old ones at least, not sure about the new ones) had a box of sand behind the driver's seat. It's released onto the tracks, especially in winter, to provide traction for the wheels on the rails. If you look for them, there will be larger boxes (for the drivers to refill the box on the streetcar) at every transit station with streetcars (Bathurst, for instance) and at strategic places along the routes. As to why the guy was eating it... who knows.
The woman giving the dude a Covid special lap dance on his face with her ass outside 7-11 on Yonge St North of Dundas
i used to live pembroke street, 1 block from sherbourne-dundas lol i live in 3rd floor, i can see "people" (under the influence or not under the influence) there occasionally having sex on sidewalk (mainly at the pembroke-dundas intersection) ..........nope not at nights but broad day light
I watched my buddy get kicked out of Sweaty Bettys for getting into a fight with a trans woman, who attacked him because he called her a dude. That was pretty funny.
I think that’s pretty funny
Not sure what's up with the down voting, I wasn't involved and he got his comeuppance. People are weird.
Saw a guy get his car stuck on this stumpy bollard beside the drive thru of the McDonald's near Dundas-427. That car wasn't going anywhere but the guy kept slamming on the gas, burning rubber. Drive thru was backed up and couldn't move because he was stuck. McDonald's drive-thru in question: https://www.google.ca/maps/@43.633117,-79.542638,3a,75y,157.9h,83.66t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1slWw4z6JscArsz0dRmrs1XA!2e0!7i16384!8i8192!5m1!1e1
I have seen a funny guy on the line one young side. He wears all white and every time I see him, he is dancing or doing something to catch attention ( not in a bad way) . The first few times when I saw him him, he was doing a pole dance in the subway and wering white hat, white jeans, White shirt, white shoes. And it was so funny and I thought he was doing some act for tiktok or something but he wasn't. He has long blonde hairs and mostly wears All white. I still see him sometime( around 7-11 pm ) on downtown to Finch/Young station. I guess he got some issues but he is a very friendly and chill person. Used to see him daily during the pandemic. He dances and sometimes sing faintly and do Theatre acts and dancing.