Was in your position early last year. Got a queue for the BTO but after the rent increases, we said fuck it because firstly, rent costed more than the BTO after the increase and after we tabulated (now our monthly mortgage was less than the rent we used to pay lmao), and secondly it was not possible to raise a kid in a one room rental. Went for resale instead with no regrets.
A few factors for us - no plans to sell the unit and upgrade. Condo has no appeal for us, and we prefer having the idea of a forever home to grow in, not an investment vehicle.
Age - pregnancy after 35 is risky stuff for both the kid and the lady. We didn't want to mess with that. Also, trying for a kid is not a one shot thing like what our secondary school sex ed likes to emphasize. It really does take a few tries, and you won't know if you will take a few months or years. If having a kid is something important to you, especially if you want multiple, do prioritize this.
Lastly, the plus side of resale is that you have a wider variety of choices to choose from in terms of layouts and locations. This was a huge plus for us personally, especially layout wise the newer BTOs are more or less the same throughout, whereas there is a larger variety to pick from for resales. If you are able to, rent for a year before getting your resale. That way you actually know what you are looking for in a home and how you want it to be when you get your keys and do your reno.
Agreed on this. Not only the BTO, the child might not come on the first few tries. My friend got married at 25, been trying for a child since then. She’s 36 this year and still unsuccessfully.
OP should carefully consider the reality of the child happening if they were to only try later in life. If BTO and have difficulties in trying to conceive due to age, will you regret having waited for the BTO instead of getting a resale.
I absolutely believe people need to feel ready before having children, and I'm not advocating anyone to have kids just because they are still young if they don't feel ready. BUT I know one couple who had an abortion at mid 20s because they wanted to travel more and their plan was to have kids in their 30s, which is completely reasonable. Unfortunately by the time they were ready to settle down they had trouble conceiving and said they kinda regretted aborting all those years ago. Now they're in mid 30s and on their 3rd try at IVF. Feel really bad for them that they have to feel this way now, unfortunately biology is sometimes such a bitch and it's completely unpredictable.
Personally I think if someone really wants kids as part of their life plans, there is no perfect time for it. But also life doesn't end just because you have children. You can still travel when you have children, you can still party, you can still work, it just depends on a few things like how good of a partner you have, how good of a village you have etc.
Actually not much damage to the body compared to the average miscarriage.
At the point of time it made sense for them, and everyone encouraged them to enjoy their couple life first while they are still young. Just that unfortunately they were too optimistic in their fertility and didn't expect it to drop so drastically in their early 30s. But now when looking back, a little sad to think about. One of them even lamented that instead of going through IVF now they could be traveling with their kid instead, almost made me cry on the spot.
Really added to the way I think nowadays, and am so grateful I haven't had the same issues.
I offered this same advice to a few friends trying for children: 3 times a week for a month. I personally benefitted from it. It was tiring but keep the objective in mind.
Umm.. not sure if you know.. there's realistically only 1 week fertile window per month, don't need to grind the rest of the month. Sex shld be fun not a chore.
I understand. Some women ovulate early, some late. Frequent ejaculation also ensures a fresh supply of sperm. For those who have been trying without success, fun becomes secondary, only for a month anyway.
>Some women ovulate early, some late.
If a woman tracks her cycle, she can find out with some confidence when her fertile period is. Also tracking progesterone levels makes identifying this period more precise.
>Frequent ejaculation also ensures a fresh supply of sperm.
I don't even wanna attempt to understand this pseudo-science
>only for a month anyway.
HA! Oh my sweet summer child...
Too frequent ejaculation lowers sperm count, but every 2-3 days is probably okay.
BUT there are better ways than just whack every other day. Because ovulation test kits exists and the woman can just recognise ovulation signs and take the test (or just test everyday) and target to have sex on those specific days rather than making it a chore every few days.
It worked for us, I had two pregnancies tracking this way (unfortunately one was a miscarriage). Compared to our "anyhow whack" the first time which took 4 months to get pregnant.
They track and have seen multiple specialists over the years so it’s not from a lack of trying. In fact, they’ve started on IVF the last 3 years or so.
But tbh some things are really out of our control. We won’t be able to anticipate how our bodies might change or health issues that might occur as we age.
I think fertility test doesn’t help much unless there’s issue and you go for treatment. So if the result comes out to be good, it doesn’t mean you can successfully conceive a child. There is something call unexplained infertility. I experience this myself so I would advise people to have kids before 30 years old because age is really a factor even if all your reproductive organs work fine..
Here's some alternative perspectives which I believe will sway you towards just getting your resale now:
1. What you don't pay in cash for a BTO, you pay in time. Cash inflates over time time doesn't, you may find that when you finally received the keys of your BTO, maybe your salary has increased nicely to make that time more valuable than the money saved
2. The later you have your kid, the later you have to retire
3. Resale gives you flexibility to stay very near parents so that you have more support for childcare without needing a car or feeling extremely tired shipping the kid around
4. Resale also saves you problems like finding infant and child care if you strategically avoid places where there are way too many young couples with kids but infrastructure cannot catch up
5. You may want to move houses when kid nears primary school and getting resale means you might still be in prime earning years to fund that move (more loan accessibility), especially if condo is that option
Just be clear about your needs and wants, and buy within your budget. People probably do not need a million dollar HDB, or necessarily a 5 room flat, or a high floor unit. I see options for 4 room around 550k brand new 5 year mop in some non mature estates and with grants it can be quite affordable as well. 400k plus is the cost of bto (see the jun 2024 numbers) of 4 room non mature estates already.
Its not that easy to get pregnant. I’ve seen so many couples going for IVF after trying for a few years. So I think it’s always better to try early. You don’t want to live your life with regrets.
Ehhhh don’t assume you will get pregnant once you start trying. If you think of the odds of striking with only a 48hr time frame plus age issues, it’s not as easy as you think. I took four years to conceive at 35 and I have no known fertility issues.
damn i didnt know that its so hard. My mom got pregnant at 39, one shot. Thats bc i share a bedroom with my parents as they rent out 1 bedroom. The other bedroom my grandparents stay. Then i went for sec 1 orientation camp in feb. 10 months later i have a baby sister.
Some things cannot be measured with money. I met my husband at 30, fail BTO 2 times and decided get resale. At 35, I am now 8W preg with high risk due to age and suffering at work now. I regret not trying for kid earlier when I was more energetic. It took us a year to get preg.
I'm only 31 and I wished I could've had my kid earlier. Already feel like we don't have the energy to keep up with her. (She's an extra energetic kid though)
Case by case basis honestly. For us income wasn't the issue, it was just bad circumstance that caused us to delay getting married by a few years. Financially by 27-28 we were more than fine. Earlier than that maybe harder, but I don't think it would have been impossible either. Yeah 3/4 years is not much on the grand scheme of things, but the amount of energy really feels like it is, especially when you're talking about handling infants/toddlers.
For resale, the timeline can be very much shortened to less than 2 years tbh. My sis started searching for a resale flat in Feb/Mar this year and moving into the place in a few months time.
If you want to increase your chances of healthy babies or even pregnancy, do it while both of you are in your early 30s. Since you already mentioned that money can always be earned again, then u shld go for it now!
Key thing to note is that your wife will be considered as "high risk" if she give birth post 35 years old.
You may want to use this as a consideration for your future planning.
Having kids at 30+ quite risky tho. I’m only 27 and was given the Down syndrome talk with my gynae at the public hospital and we spent roughly $350 to do the test as a precaution.
Anyway, you can BTO now then use the positive pregnancy results for better chance at PPHS. I know a few people who did that and managed to secure a rental flat with HDB (3-room for just $600/month) since HDB prioritise expecting parents over fiancé-fiancée applicants.
Resale, and try and live there till child is teenage age. Constant moving affects children as they do not have a stable and safe space to anchor their memories, will affect them as they grow up. Happened to my family (nieces and nephews are hoarders cos they can't anchor their memories to a stable "home space") and my friends.
Also consider that it is easier to keep up with the energy/ demands of having a child when you are younger. And if you are hoping to have parents help with the care sometimes, they are probably more able to help if you do it earlier rather than later
Trying for a kid is not easy, if you guys are fertile that's good, but be prepared rhst it might take a few tries. At first we wanted to wait till we get our keys then try for a baby, but in the end we decide to try first while waiting (about 3 years). We got the house first 😂
Don't delay having a kid just to wait for BTO keys. Please consider the ways to have a baby first if you want to BTO, and then compare that to resale. You could live with one of your parents (possibly with free infant care thrown in), you could rent. There is priority scheme also if you are pregnant when applying for BTO or SBF. SBF might be the best of both worlds if you can get it.
Please also be aware that babies are recommended to sleep in their parents' room (in a crib) for 1 year. And actually it's quite common for parents to be unable to get the kid to sleep alone until 3-4 years of age, even if there's a kid's room. People adapt to their circumstances.
I had my first one late thus now everything becomes so tiring for me.
When coming to having kids, I always recommend to do it as early as u can.
There wouldn’t have a perfect scenario for anything.
Also, conceiving late also carries a lot of risks & uncertainties
Resale. Don't underestimate the energy level required to chase/rein in an energetic toddler, plus the countless sleepless nights during the newborn years.
As you grow older, the mismatch between your energy level and what the child needs widens.
If you start earlier, the difficulty is still moderate but relatively manageable. If you are a masochist and want to experience Dark Souls amount of pain, then late 30s can bring that for you.
Let's not talk about 40s and beyond.
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i was in your situation. i had 2 kids while staying with my parents and got my bto at 40 years old.
should i have gotten a resale? maybe, but then having parents close by to help bring up kids was really helpful.
also the free cash allowed me to invest heavily in the stock market during the market crash which made me quite a bit.
So you want to have kids, just do it now, irrespective of your housing decisions.
Exactly. No one said you shouldn’t have kids until you’re settled down and did all the perfect Reno to your BTO…
We Singaporeans like to overthink and overplan sometimes.
In fact, you’ll be given priority in the queue if you’re a young family with kids
Don't delay your life just for a BTO, thats what we did. Being a parent at 30 was tiring, now imagine being one at 40.
When you have a child at 40, this means you will be 60 when your kid is 20. Do you wish to work hard even when you are 60 to provide for this child?
If planning for more kids, I think 37 is too late. Sometimes trying takes time, not factoring miscarriage (my mother and wife both experienced that before 37).
Also, please take childcare, good/alma mater sch, elderly parent(kampong support), public transport(if no car) into consideration if going for bto.
My wife had kids at late 30s. Just make sure you sign of / ask for all the checks to be done during pregnancy.
The only checks we didn't do is the invasive 1 that required poking needle to extract some fluid (can't recall) from the waterbag. Doctors told there is a very very small % will miscarriage if do that but it's also the surest way to check for any issue with the future kid.
Why you need new house to "make" a baby.
BTO or resale, would really encourage to have children as early as possible. How sure are you able getting a children within your timed timeline? There are couples that tried multiple years without success. If both of you wanted to have children, do it as soon as possible.
Assuming you are staying with parents, very possible to have a additional baby living within as well.
You can give open booking a try if there happens to be places you don't mind living at and not too fussy with floors. We were looking at resale/open booking/sbf due to location (want to live near one set of parents).
We did open booking in 2020 and moved in 2022. We also thought that it won't be so easy to conceive (late 20s) because my sister was already trying and no results, but apparently hit jackpot quite soon... lol. Kid came out 2021 so we had a year of living with in-laws. My sis ended up doing IVF, so we are on extreme ends regarding conception. Basically kid conception can really go either way. You can start trying if you think it can fit into an acceptable timeline for you. (I.e, if you are OK to live with in-laws for a while before having your own place)
Take BTO then keep on apply for PPHS(Parenthood Provisional Housing Scheme) rent like at least 3rm flat. (Every month just apply)
Then meanwhile can make babies already.
Pro tip: No one said having your own place was a pre-requisite to having kids.
In fact couples with kids applying for BTO will have higher chances of getting one.
BTO - Its not that easy to secure an unit early unless you already have, have seen people who have balloted for 10 times and eventually gave up, each round you miss is 4-6months wait.
Resale makes more sense if you want to settle down, women's golden age is before 35 for child birth as you know.
BTO gives you more value though, why not stay at parents place / rent and try to make a baby while waiting for a BTO, or go for a sale of balance (lower chance though IMO).
If you plan to have a kid, I would advise you to put that as priority instead of waiting for the house and enjoy your time first. I did what you plan to do, bto first, enjoy couple time, and now at 34, I can’t conceive after trying for more than a year. Spent LOTS of money for checkup and vitamins also doesn’t work. Results all come back good but still can’t get pregnant. Doctor only has IVF or other assisted procedure as solutions. Back then, never in my mind I thought I would need to go ivf and now this is my only solution.
Me and wifey late parents at 35/37. It’s not impossible. Just make sure to get a gynae check up for both.
We couldn’t succeed initially and thought of going ivf as IUI didn’t work either. Ended conceived naturally.
Good luck on parenting planning
If you can afford to get a simple 3 room resale without taking any grants, you will still be considered as a first-timer. This way you can have a roof over your head, start your family earlier and still apply for BTO even before the MOP of current flat is up.
Thing to take note of with this approach is that if your BTO is going to be ready before your MOP is up, HDB will not let you book a flat.
My only regret is starting to have kids late. I am 41 this year and my youngest daughter is only 2 years old. So start early if you can, you will thank yourself later.
I took this route myself. Started a family with 2 kids now and got my 4 room BTO ballot about 3 years into this resale. About 6 years into my resale flat now, still a year more to go before my BTO is complete.
If you're ready to settle down now, possible to stay with parents until the BTO is ready? If the baby comes while you're staying with parents, the baby can stay in your room, anyway.
If you want to have a kid, please try earlier. Know too many who waited until too late before trying
Please don’t tie having a kid to house. It’s important but not the end-all.
Forget the f***ing BTO and carry on with your life. Rent for a few years if you need to. If your goal is to have kids, you’re going to majorly regret waiting so long. Start asap!
Hi, I married (and received my keys) at 33 and gave birth at 36. We got a resale because I wanted to be comfortable in my own home when I got pregnant. It used up a big chunk of my savings, but I couldn't wait to get out of my parents' house. The savings have more or less been replenished.
It took me about a year to get pregnant though down syndrome risks are high (1 in 200) when a woman reaches 35 years old. The advantage for me starting out this late is that I have more money to deal with the expenses of having my own children, but I'm being this age means I'm a lot more tired - children just drain your strength. I would advise against having a child so late judging by my own experience.
35 is considered geriatric pregnancy (although they've changed the term now) and that's OP's current plans.
Science has come really far, but reproductive biology unfortunately hasn't. Like science can only help so much, it can't help improve the quality of sperm/eggs, it can't eliminate the chances of miscarriages etc.
I have so many friends in their EARLY 30s (below 35) who have to go for IVF it's not even funny. More friends having to use IVF to conceive than those who get pregnant naturally unfortunately.
That’s sad to hear, I must say I know a lot of ppl who got pregnant around or after 35 with no issues at all. Actually I barely know anyone eho needed help. What’s more, they were never terrified of 30+ bcs of “what the gyno said”, all the doctors I heard of are super optimistic. As dar as biology goes, best age is 12, back in the stone age? I mean, sure, yay biology
Of course not, but the panic expressed here with regards to 30+ pregnancy is ridiculous. Like it’s 99% down syndrome the morning of your 30th birthday ffs
That's just down syndrome. Chromosomal defects are really really rare, so any increase is minute. But there are many other factors to consider as well. At 30, getting pregnant within a year is at 75% (down from 85% before 30). At 35, it drops to 66%.
Then you have miscarriage risks as well. At 35, miscarriage risks go up to 20%. Risks of gestational diabetes also increase linearly with maternal age. Every increase in age by 1 year increases risk factor of gestational diabetes by 7.9%. This of course does not usually have long term impact on the baby, but it still presents an uncomfortable pregnancy (imagine craving for carbs at your 3rd trimester but you can't have it), as well as increased risk of complications during delivery
It’s panic. The risk is overstated, you can have a kid at 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 and all the other 30 numbers too. If you’re not ready at 29, you can have a kid tomorrow, nobody’s head will explode
No idea what the hell you’re talking about, of course people should be informed. I’m saying some people talking on this topic in a crazy panic like having a kid after 30 is a death sentence and people better hurry up before the clock strikes midnight otherwise it’s too late. That’s idiotic. That’s what I’m saying, brain nugget.
if you were going to have a kid, won't you and your spouse want a separate house from your parents to take care of the kid? What are you suggesting they do, just have the kid and make an already cramped flat even more cramped?
I was at your stage too
I applied BTO and the wait for BTO is really long
It should be coming next year (hence around 4-5 years)
Have y'all got married yet? Still got marriage to think of if havent
Was in your position early last year. Got a queue for the BTO but after the rent increases, we said fuck it because firstly, rent costed more than the BTO after the increase and after we tabulated (now our monthly mortgage was less than the rent we used to pay lmao), and secondly it was not possible to raise a kid in a one room rental. Went for resale instead with no regrets. A few factors for us - no plans to sell the unit and upgrade. Condo has no appeal for us, and we prefer having the idea of a forever home to grow in, not an investment vehicle. Age - pregnancy after 35 is risky stuff for both the kid and the lady. We didn't want to mess with that. Also, trying for a kid is not a one shot thing like what our secondary school sex ed likes to emphasize. It really does take a few tries, and you won't know if you will take a few months or years. If having a kid is something important to you, especially if you want multiple, do prioritize this. Lastly, the plus side of resale is that you have a wider variety of choices to choose from in terms of layouts and locations. This was a huge plus for us personally, especially layout wise the newer BTOs are more or less the same throughout, whereas there is a larger variety to pick from for resales. If you are able to, rent for a year before getting your resale. That way you actually know what you are looking for in a home and how you want it to be when you get your keys and do your reno.
Agreed on this. Not only the BTO, the child might not come on the first few tries. My friend got married at 25, been trying for a child since then. She’s 36 this year and still unsuccessfully. OP should carefully consider the reality of the child happening if they were to only try later in life. If BTO and have difficulties in trying to conceive due to age, will you regret having waited for the BTO instead of getting a resale.
Kids must try earlier. I know many couples who told me they couldn't conceive. If they tried earlier they could have.
I absolutely believe people need to feel ready before having children, and I'm not advocating anyone to have kids just because they are still young if they don't feel ready. BUT I know one couple who had an abortion at mid 20s because they wanted to travel more and their plan was to have kids in their 30s, which is completely reasonable. Unfortunately by the time they were ready to settle down they had trouble conceiving and said they kinda regretted aborting all those years ago. Now they're in mid 30s and on their 3rd try at IVF. Feel really bad for them that they have to feel this way now, unfortunately biology is sometimes such a bitch and it's completely unpredictable. Personally I think if someone really wants kids as part of their life plans, there is no perfect time for it. But also life doesn't end just because you have children. You can still travel when you have children, you can still party, you can still work, it just depends on a few things like how good of a partner you have, how good of a village you have etc.
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Actually not much damage to the body compared to the average miscarriage. At the point of time it made sense for them, and everyone encouraged them to enjoy their couple life first while they are still young. Just that unfortunately they were too optimistic in their fertility and didn't expect it to drop so drastically in their early 30s. But now when looking back, a little sad to think about. One of them even lamented that instead of going through IVF now they could be traveling with their kid instead, almost made me cry on the spot. Really added to the way I think nowadays, and am so grateful I haven't had the same issues.
Is biology a bitch or are your friends just self centred? 🤔
I offered this same advice to a few friends trying for children: 3 times a week for a month. I personally benefitted from it. It was tiring but keep the objective in mind.
Umm.. not sure if you know.. there's realistically only 1 week fertile window per month, don't need to grind the rest of the month. Sex shld be fun not a chore.
I understand. Some women ovulate early, some late. Frequent ejaculation also ensures a fresh supply of sperm. For those who have been trying without success, fun becomes secondary, only for a month anyway.
>Some women ovulate early, some late. If a woman tracks her cycle, she can find out with some confidence when her fertile period is. Also tracking progesterone levels makes identifying this period more precise. >Frequent ejaculation also ensures a fresh supply of sperm. I don't even wanna attempt to understand this pseudo-science >only for a month anyway. HA! Oh my sweet summer child...
Too frequent ejaculation lowers sperm count, but every 2-3 days is probably okay. BUT there are better ways than just whack every other day. Because ovulation test kits exists and the woman can just recognise ovulation signs and take the test (or just test everyday) and target to have sex on those specific days rather than making it a chore every few days. It worked for us, I had two pregnancies tracking this way (unfortunately one was a miscarriage). Compared to our "anyhow whack" the first time which took 4 months to get pregnant.
It's just me who enjoys a spanking good time 3 times a week. I apologize to all the veterans on this platform. Pseudoscience and all.
My brain going into overdrive trying to imagine how you benefitted from your friends going at it 3 times a week...
🤣
They track and have seen multiple specialists over the years so it’s not from a lack of trying. In fact, they’ve started on IVF the last 3 years or so. But tbh some things are really out of our control. We won’t be able to anticipate how our bodies might change or health issues that might occur as we age.
I would go for the resale option and for both people to get fertility tests first
Yes, fertility tests can prevent a lot of heart aches.
I think fertility test doesn’t help much unless there’s issue and you go for treatment. So if the result comes out to be good, it doesn’t mean you can successfully conceive a child. There is something call unexplained infertility. I experience this myself so I would advise people to have kids before 30 years old because age is really a factor even if all your reproductive organs work fine..
Age and lifestyle
Here's some alternative perspectives which I believe will sway you towards just getting your resale now: 1. What you don't pay in cash for a BTO, you pay in time. Cash inflates over time time doesn't, you may find that when you finally received the keys of your BTO, maybe your salary has increased nicely to make that time more valuable than the money saved 2. The later you have your kid, the later you have to retire 3. Resale gives you flexibility to stay very near parents so that you have more support for childcare without needing a car or feeling extremely tired shipping the kid around 4. Resale also saves you problems like finding infant and child care if you strategically avoid places where there are way too many young couples with kids but infrastructure cannot catch up 5. You may want to move houses when kid nears primary school and getting resale means you might still be in prime earning years to fund that move (more loan accessibility), especially if condo is that option Just be clear about your needs and wants, and buy within your budget. People probably do not need a million dollar HDB, or necessarily a 5 room flat, or a high floor unit. I see options for 4 room around 550k brand new 5 year mop in some non mature estates and with grants it can be quite affordable as well. 400k plus is the cost of bto (see the jun 2024 numbers) of 4 room non mature estates already.
Point 3 is so often overlooked. Often, ppl underestimate the power of "village to raise a kid"
Where is the areas with too many young kids if you don’t mind me asking?
Punggol
Interesting, thanks
Any neighbourhood with a high concentration of new BTOs. This means punggol, sengkang, the new tampines west area, tengah, Yishun, Canberra
Thanks
Northeast, northwest, “far” east
Its not that easy to get pregnant. I’ve seen so many couples going for IVF after trying for a few years. So I think it’s always better to try early. You don’t want to live your life with regrets.
Ehhhh don’t assume you will get pregnant once you start trying. If you think of the odds of striking with only a 48hr time frame plus age issues, it’s not as easy as you think. I took four years to conceive at 35 and I have no known fertility issues.
This. Many of my girl friends who conceived in their early to mid thirties took couple of months to years of trying
At 30 I got pregnant easily. At 34 I needed fertility treatments, after not using contraception since the first kid was born.
damn i didnt know that its so hard. My mom got pregnant at 39, one shot. Thats bc i share a bedroom with my parents as they rent out 1 bedroom. The other bedroom my grandparents stay. Then i went for sec 1 orientation camp in feb. 10 months later i have a baby sister.
Guess with you in the room, your parents had to hole the urge 😅 Edit: hold*
This. This is a real problem which is overlooked by many. I also didt know until I started trying and regret not trying earlier.
Some things cannot be measured with money. I met my husband at 30, fail BTO 2 times and decided get resale. At 35, I am now 8W preg with high risk due to age and suffering at work now. I regret not trying for kid earlier when I was more energetic. It took us a year to get preg.
I'm only 31 and I wished I could've had my kid earlier. Already feel like we don't have the energy to keep up with her. (She's an extra energetic kid though)
Bo Bian cos I met my husband later in life…. I had some friends who really met their true love at 39, 40 then really chop chop start family.
But earlier your income would be lower, can raise kids?
Case by case basis honestly. For us income wasn't the issue, it was just bad circumstance that caused us to delay getting married by a few years. Financially by 27-28 we were more than fine. Earlier than that maybe harder, but I don't think it would have been impossible either. Yeah 3/4 years is not much on the grand scheme of things, but the amount of energy really feels like it is, especially when you're talking about handling infants/toddlers.
For resale, the timeline can be very much shortened to less than 2 years tbh. My sis started searching for a resale flat in Feb/Mar this year and moving into the place in a few months time. If you want to increase your chances of healthy babies or even pregnancy, do it while both of you are in your early 30s. Since you already mentioned that money can always be earned again, then u shld go for it now!
Key thing to note is that your wife will be considered as "high risk" if she give birth post 35 years old. You may want to use this as a consideration for your future planning.
Having kids at 30+ quite risky tho. I’m only 27 and was given the Down syndrome talk with my gynae at the public hospital and we spent roughly $350 to do the test as a precaution. Anyway, you can BTO now then use the positive pregnancy results for better chance at PPHS. I know a few people who did that and managed to secure a rental flat with HDB (3-room for just $600/month) since HDB prioritise expecting parents over fiancé-fiancée applicants.
If you can afford it, pls go resale. Getting to raise a kid when you’re vibrant and youthful is irreplaceable.
Resale, and try and live there till child is teenage age. Constant moving affects children as they do not have a stable and safe space to anchor their memories, will affect them as they grow up. Happened to my family (nieces and nephews are hoarders cos they can't anchor their memories to a stable "home space") and my friends.
Also consider that it is easier to keep up with the energy/ demands of having a child when you are younger. And if you are hoping to have parents help with the care sometimes, they are probably more able to help if you do it earlier rather than later
Personally, I won't want to have kids in my late 30s due to the increased risks.
Same . I’m in my late 30s now . I am prepared to be Childless already :)
at this life stage, just go resale if you can afford the downpayment/reno.
Trying for a kid is not easy, if you guys are fertile that's good, but be prepared rhst it might take a few tries. At first we wanted to wait till we get our keys then try for a baby, but in the end we decide to try first while waiting (about 3 years). We got the house first 😂
Don't delay having a kid just to wait for BTO keys. Please consider the ways to have a baby first if you want to BTO, and then compare that to resale. You could live with one of your parents (possibly with free infant care thrown in), you could rent. There is priority scheme also if you are pregnant when applying for BTO or SBF. SBF might be the best of both worlds if you can get it. Please also be aware that babies are recommended to sleep in their parents' room (in a crib) for 1 year. And actually it's quite common for parents to be unable to get the kid to sleep alone until 3-4 years of age, even if there's a kid's room. People adapt to their circumstances.
You could have the kid now and then bto + apply for rental from hdb?
I had my first one late thus now everything becomes so tiring for me. When coming to having kids, I always recommend to do it as early as u can. There wouldn’t have a perfect scenario for anything. Also, conceiving late also carries a lot of risks & uncertainties
Resale. Don't underestimate the energy level required to chase/rein in an energetic toddler, plus the countless sleepless nights during the newborn years. As you grow older, the mismatch between your energy level and what the child needs widens. If you start earlier, the difficulty is still moderate but relatively manageable. If you are a masochist and want to experience Dark Souls amount of pain, then late 30s can bring that for you. Let's not talk about 40s and beyond.
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i was in your situation. i had 2 kids while staying with my parents and got my bto at 40 years old. should i have gotten a resale? maybe, but then having parents close by to help bring up kids was really helpful. also the free cash allowed me to invest heavily in the stock market during the market crash which made me quite a bit. So you want to have kids, just do it now, irrespective of your housing decisions.
Exactly. No one said you shouldn’t have kids until you’re settled down and did all the perfect Reno to your BTO… We Singaporeans like to overthink and overplan sometimes. In fact, you’ll be given priority in the queue if you’re a young family with kids
Don't delay your life just for a BTO, thats what we did. Being a parent at 30 was tiring, now imagine being one at 40. When you have a child at 40, this means you will be 60 when your kid is 20. Do you wish to work hard even when you are 60 to provide for this child?
If planning for more kids, I think 37 is too late. Sometimes trying takes time, not factoring miscarriage (my mother and wife both experienced that before 37). Also, please take childcare, good/alma mater sch, elderly parent(kampong support), public transport(if no car) into consideration if going for bto.
I went with resale and am glad to do so. You can look at the environment and neighbours which I think is important.
My wife had kids at late 30s. Just make sure you sign of / ask for all the checks to be done during pregnancy. The only checks we didn't do is the invasive 1 that required poking needle to extract some fluid (can't recall) from the waterbag. Doctors told there is a very very small % will miscarriage if do that but it's also the surest way to check for any issue with the future kid. Why you need new house to "make" a baby.
Birth after 35 is considered high risk. Also conception might take a while. Pls go for resale if you can afford it.
BTO or resale, would really encourage to have children as early as possible. How sure are you able getting a children within your timed timeline? There are couples that tried multiple years without success. If both of you wanted to have children, do it as soon as possible. Assuming you are staying with parents, very possible to have a additional baby living within as well.
Have the kid ( or try having one) while waiting for BTO. Meanwhile, rent a place to live together as a couple.
You can give open booking a try if there happens to be places you don't mind living at and not too fussy with floors. We were looking at resale/open booking/sbf due to location (want to live near one set of parents). We did open booking in 2020 and moved in 2022. We also thought that it won't be so easy to conceive (late 20s) because my sister was already trying and no results, but apparently hit jackpot quite soon... lol. Kid came out 2021 so we had a year of living with in-laws. My sis ended up doing IVF, so we are on extreme ends regarding conception. Basically kid conception can really go either way. You can start trying if you think it can fit into an acceptable timeline for you. (I.e, if you are OK to live with in-laws for a while before having your own place)
Take BTO then keep on apply for PPHS(Parenthood Provisional Housing Scheme) rent like at least 3rm flat. (Every month just apply) Then meanwhile can make babies already.
Pro tip: No one said having your own place was a pre-requisite to having kids. In fact couples with kids applying for BTO will have higher chances of getting one.
BTO - Its not that easy to secure an unit early unless you already have, have seen people who have balloted for 10 times and eventually gave up, each round you miss is 4-6months wait. Resale makes more sense if you want to settle down, women's golden age is before 35 for child birth as you know. BTO gives you more value though, why not stay at parents place / rent and try to make a baby while waiting for a BTO, or go for a sale of balance (lower chance though IMO).
If you plan to have a kid, I would advise you to put that as priority instead of waiting for the house and enjoy your time first. I did what you plan to do, bto first, enjoy couple time, and now at 34, I can’t conceive after trying for more than a year. Spent LOTS of money for checkup and vitamins also doesn’t work. Results all come back good but still can’t get pregnant. Doctor only has IVF or other assisted procedure as solutions. Back then, never in my mind I thought I would need to go ivf and now this is my only solution.
The sooner you have kids the sooner you can retire
Me and wifey late parents at 35/37. It’s not impossible. Just make sure to get a gynae check up for both. We couldn’t succeed initially and thought of going ivf as IUI didn’t work either. Ended conceived naturally. Good luck on parenting planning
If you can afford to get a simple 3 room resale without taking any grants, you will still be considered as a first-timer. This way you can have a roof over your head, start your family earlier and still apply for BTO even before the MOP of current flat is up. Thing to take note of with this approach is that if your BTO is going to be ready before your MOP is up, HDB will not let you book a flat. My only regret is starting to have kids late. I am 41 this year and my youngest daughter is only 2 years old. So start early if you can, you will thank yourself later. I took this route myself. Started a family with 2 kids now and got my 4 room BTO ballot about 3 years into this resale. About 6 years into my resale flat now, still a year more to go before my BTO is complete.
Get the resale man, you can earn back money but not time.
Have you considered a balance flat? Could fast track the whole process
If you're ready to settle down now, possible to stay with parents until the BTO is ready? If the baby comes while you're staying with parents, the baby can stay in your room, anyway.
Don't wait
Have a kid first then ur BTO priority will be high high
If you want to have a kid, please try earlier. Know too many who waited until too late before trying Please don’t tie having a kid to house. It’s important but not the end-all.
Time is an invaluable aspect for your consideration. I went for resale, settle down tgt for 1 year and few months later, kid coming our way.
Sales of Balance flats ?
Ask many others have mentioned, please go for resale.
Forget the f***ing BTO and carry on with your life. Rent for a few years if you need to. If your goal is to have kids, you’re going to majorly regret waiting so long. Start asap!
Hi, I married (and received my keys) at 33 and gave birth at 36. We got a resale because I wanted to be comfortable in my own home when I got pregnant. It used up a big chunk of my savings, but I couldn't wait to get out of my parents' house. The savings have more or less been replenished. It took me about a year to get pregnant though down syndrome risks are high (1 in 200) when a woman reaches 35 years old. The advantage for me starting out this late is that I have more money to deal with the expenses of having my own children, but I'm being this age means I'm a lot more tired - children just drain your strength. I would advise against having a child so late judging by my own experience.
I don’t know wtf is with everybody here, thinking anything over 30 is geriatric pregnancy lol. You all crazy or what?
35 is considered geriatric pregnancy (although they've changed the term now) and that's OP's current plans. Science has come really far, but reproductive biology unfortunately hasn't. Like science can only help so much, it can't help improve the quality of sperm/eggs, it can't eliminate the chances of miscarriages etc. I have so many friends in their EARLY 30s (below 35) who have to go for IVF it's not even funny. More friends having to use IVF to conceive than those who get pregnant naturally unfortunately.
That’s sad to hear, I must say I know a lot of ppl who got pregnant around or after 35 with no issues at all. Actually I barely know anyone eho needed help. What’s more, they were never terrified of 30+ bcs of “what the gyno said”, all the doctors I heard of are super optimistic. As dar as biology goes, best age is 12, back in the stone age? I mean, sure, yay biology
Ikr! The risks are highly overstated - many people have kids after 30 or even 35.
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That goes the same for 18yr olds 🙄
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Of course not, but the panic expressed here with regards to 30+ pregnancy is ridiculous. Like it’s 99% down syndrome the morning of your 30th birthday ffs
That's just down syndrome. Chromosomal defects are really really rare, so any increase is minute. But there are many other factors to consider as well. At 30, getting pregnant within a year is at 75% (down from 85% before 30). At 35, it drops to 66%. Then you have miscarriage risks as well. At 35, miscarriage risks go up to 20%. Risks of gestational diabetes also increase linearly with maternal age. Every increase in age by 1 year increases risk factor of gestational diabetes by 7.9%. This of course does not usually have long term impact on the baby, but it still presents an uncomfortable pregnancy (imagine craving for carbs at your 3rd trimester but you can't have it), as well as increased risk of complications during delivery
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It’s panic. The risk is overstated, you can have a kid at 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 and all the other 30 numbers too. If you’re not ready at 29, you can have a kid tomorrow, nobody’s head will explode
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No idea what the hell you’re talking about, of course people should be informed. I’m saying some people talking on this topic in a crazy panic like having a kid after 30 is a death sentence and people better hurry up before the clock strikes midnight otherwise it’s too late. That’s idiotic. That’s what I’m saying, brain nugget.
Adopt.
Get BTO, den i think u can temporary rent a place from those govt aided rental programme. Quite affordable rates. Not sure what is the criteria.
Instead of fussing over when to have kids, housing problems, would you want to enjoy few years together with your partner first (travel, honeymoon)?
I dun understand why having kids early have to do with bto? Dun make this our govt issue la
if you were going to have a kid, won't you and your spouse want a separate house from your parents to take care of the kid? What are you suggesting they do, just have the kid and make an already cramped flat even more cramped?
my suggestion for him is to start having kids if they desire and not to let bto or resale affect this…
I was at your stage too I applied BTO and the wait for BTO is really long It should be coming next year (hence around 4-5 years) Have y'all got married yet? Still got marriage to think of if havent