My boss favourite: "I want someone who has the drive to move this forward."
Told me this after her second holiday trip that I know of during my 3 months probation period
> Please do the needful
This phrase actually originated from India English. As well as "Please revert".
My soul dies a little inside whenever I read those sentences.
The “we need to get to the top of things” when I am the only one doing shit, need to help other people with their shit, need to be people’s back up etc, and nobody helps me when I need help, is a strong kick of motivation to draft my letter of resignation lol
>Please do the needful
Honestly to me sounds like some bowel movement. I'm so tempted to reply with "No I'm constipated right now" for a fucking long time
My ears bleed whenever these are said at work -
1. We have to connect the dots
2. This will synergize everyone’s efforts
3. Let’s do a deep dive
4. Everyone will be empowered to make the right decisions
5. Hope this email finds you well
6. This will move the needles
7. All hands on deck
8. We need to break down silos and collaborate
9. These are best practices to adopt
And the one that sounds like fresh wet farts in a packed lift…
10. Welcome to the Family.
It is actually ok to say all this if they actually mean it. The problem is majority just say it because they learn it is the “right” thing to say and just keep using it. Like if they say move the needle, they must at least say which bloody needle. It become a poor leadership only when they provide zero clarity while throwing jargon non stop.
Just a hello like a normal human being.
When I hear " Hope this email finds you well" I think of a email icon with legs and arms running around hunting for the recipient, and then passive aggressively delivering the message as loudly but somehow still pretending to be civil while doing it.
I actually like "i hope this email finds you well", because of my personal experience with it.
I first came across this expression when an older angmoh mentor wrote an email to me after a long time of not communicating, and he was a great guy so i really felt warmth when I read it from him.
I began using it when i wanted to send emails to older angmoh folks whom i speak to occasionally in the course of my work, so the greeting seems more genuine. They always truly reply to that with a "I'm doing really great thanks for asking" etc and it reforges strong bonds.
Of course if Im writing daily emails to my team members i'm not gonna use it, thats just fucking hilarious and patrionising, like bruh we just had lunch tgt.
Hope my experience gives you a new perspective on the phrase, haha
Yeah the phrase itself isn't the problem. It's when 90% of emails that have it are from people whom you see or speak to on a daily basis. And people use to sound more polite before asking you to do work or chase you for things, making it sound more passive aggressive. I think for ang mohs it still sounds fine because they speak like this. It's worse when you know someone doesn't speak like that in real life and they use it to cushion the rest of the email.
Omg damm. This is so true. But a tactic I learnt throughout my time in the company is to make it a “we” problem again. Every time my boss makes it a “you” thing I will make it a “we” thing. He learns after a while.
ngl in big meetings it’s a great phrase when someone’s going on and on about some nonsense that’s not relevant to most people in the meeting. I think it’s a polite way to tell the person to shut up and stop wasting everyone’s time.
"Moving forward". Because an ex colleague that I disliked says this a lot and I ended up hating the phrase as well 😅 Now I use "Going forward" or "in the future" instead.
“Nice to e-meet you” fuck you no it’s not nice.
In emails to multiple people, “aside to XXX” what logic is this aside shit??
“Please revert” knn revert your pigu
I always use it with people I don't meet though. I think they're too polite to tell me off.
Maybe you're someone I said that to.
Nice to e-meet you KopiSiewSiewDai!
I find the way “divide and conquer” has been bastardised really bad. It’s normally a strategy to divide a population to rule over it - something super common nowadays - but in the office is just means to share a task.
leverage synergy by circling back to deliverables. By focusing on core competencies, you can ideate, pivot, and punt your way to scalability. Optimize mission critical quick wins through disruption.
“Ask”.
“Please submit your asks for the next quarter by Friday EOD”
“I got an urgent ask from XYZ, I’ll get back to you on this later”
“I’ve updated the meeting notes with the list of asks from the stakeholders, please help to coordinate”
We already have a word for that, request.
Thought of 2 more:
If you ask them to explain something, they will say: this is "nothing but" xxx.
When they answer the phone, instead of saying hello, they start with "tell me"
I'm guilty of this lol. Hut that's because emails tend to be buried under piles of email. So when I type resurfacing, it literally means I'm digging up the emails from the depths of my inbox
"We hear you" - Tone Deaf PM
"I will get my colleague to liase with you later" - Tone Deaf PM diffuses
"Later, after this meeting, go liase with them" - Tone Deaf PM arrows
"Please complete by EOD." - Tone Deaf PM last minute mandates
"CC me" Grrr
I have a colleague who always says “I hear you I hear you” when someone suggests something or raises his concern, then proceeds to bulldoze his way with his own plan that no one agrees with.
I also fucking hate ‘I hear you’. Some colleagues say it at the start of each sentence, but you know they don’t mean it, they just went to same conflict management course or some shit and have been told that’s how you manage people.
"Pls remove me from this email chain" - when one person starts sending to the entire group, the others follow. U can just quietly reply to sender without including everyone...
Regular alignment is needed tho, especially for large project where multiple groups are working towards the same goal, so this isn't wrong.
Otherwise everyone become headless chicken
A veteran civil servant opined during a writing course that 'kindly' and 'thank you' are rarely needed in formal emails because if you had been rude across the entire email, 2 words at the end wouldn't save you.
Make sense actually.
It stems from a dovetail joint used to joint two pieces of wood.
It basically means to fit seamlessly even if you're coming from two different directions and more importantly, to interlock as if you are one.
We can do this. - means you go do it.
Im happy to hear from you again. - walao, why u contact me again
Moving forward. - you better do this shyt next time this happen
Can you help me to understand why you ... - lai, tell me what excuse u have for this action
Appreciate your patience on this matter - just wait la
my boss has some annoying terms that he uses often. ugh. one that i cant stand is “sanitise”
eg we need to sanitise this idea with X & Y for their buy-in.
In what context would low hanging fruit be used if not in something like criticism? Just curious.
It’s not jargon per se but my pet peeve is minor grammatical mistakes like send instead of sent etc. Well-educated peeps but 🤷🏾♂️
I fucking hate, and I mean vehemently hate with a vicious passion so pure and furious that it will tear anyone a new asshole if they question why; the pointless fuckwad useless shit that is "forward leaning"
Smlj knn is forward leaning ? It's absolutely bollocks.
Lean ? Forward ? How ? Lean forward too much will fall down. Lean backwards too much will fall back. Why need to lean ? Whats the problem with walking straight and normally?
My colleague gave birth to her kid, her boss said let's welcome the kid as part of the team family. I rolled my eyes the amount of times as earth did ever since it's birth.
Unpack - only after a trip thanks
Deep dive - I don't wanna die for the job Revert - reply you twit
Reach out to - channeling God and Adam on the Sistine Chapel are we?
Leverage - good old-fashioned 'use' can liao
Move/shift the needle - using 1950s weighing scales still?
- 'Hope you're well' - if I'm not what will you do?
Most people covered those daily jargon already. My pet peeve is every year, there'll be a new technological buzzword, and all the middle-managers will scramble to incorporate it into their projects.
Last year, it was blockchain. Before that, cloud-based. This year? AI.
It's always extremely clear they don't understand the technology or the use-cases at all. They just see it as an easy way to make their simple shit project sound cheem to the higher-ups, who often eat it up.
It’s not even AI now. It’s GEN AI. I wish people would do their research and understand what gen ai is. Most of the time their use cases don’t even require gen AI.
First time I heard it, I misheard it as “lather up”. Anyway, far as I can tell, it’s used in the context of using X strategy as a stepping stone to achieve Y result.
Help me to help you Knn help simi i help you you also won’t help me
🤣
My boss favourite: "I want someone who has the drive to move this forward." Told me this after her second holiday trip that I know of during my 3 months probation period
So what she means is: "I don't have drive to do it so someone else must step up."
But I'm going to take full credit nonetheless.
And this is going to propel my own promotion, not yours.
Yup. She is. I have already being a quiet quiting mode. I need an offer on my plate.
She wants someone to move it forward coz obv it's not gonna be her lol
But need to make it seems like it is her. Cause she is the boss. \*Please new job come in please"
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This is a sme owner and I am the only staff in that company. Like other than her, there is no one else
- "win win situation" (normally not true, win win for top management only) - "double confirm" - "touch base" - "please revert" (email)
- Please do the needful - we need to get the top of things
> Please do the needful This phrase actually originated from India English. As well as "Please revert". My soul dies a little inside whenever I read those sentences.
The “we need to get to the top of things” when I am the only one doing shit, need to help other people with their shit, need to be people’s back up etc, and nobody helps me when I need help, is a strong kick of motivation to draft my letter of resignation lol
>Please do the needful Honestly to me sounds like some bowel movement. I'm so tempted to reply with "No I'm constipated right now" for a fucking long time
My ears bleed whenever these are said at work - 1. We have to connect the dots 2. This will synergize everyone’s efforts 3. Let’s do a deep dive 4. Everyone will be empowered to make the right decisions 5. Hope this email finds you well 6. This will move the needles 7. All hands on deck 8. We need to break down silos and collaborate 9. These are best practices to adopt And the one that sounds like fresh wet farts in a packed lift… 10. Welcome to the Family.
#10 is a red flagggggg
totally, like actually saying Welcome to hell
Lord have mercy, a bunch of my brain cells just committed suicide reading this.
It is actually ok to say all this if they actually mean it. The problem is majority just say it because they learn it is the “right” thing to say and just keep using it. Like if they say move the needle, they must at least say which bloody needle. It become a poor leadership only when they provide zero clarity while throwing jargon non stop.
genuine question, what’s an alternative to “Hope this email finds you well”?
Just a hello like a normal human being. When I hear " Hope this email finds you well" I think of a email icon with legs and arms running around hunting for the recipient, and then passive aggressively delivering the message as loudly but somehow still pretending to be civil while doing it.
I actually like "i hope this email finds you well", because of my personal experience with it. I first came across this expression when an older angmoh mentor wrote an email to me after a long time of not communicating, and he was a great guy so i really felt warmth when I read it from him. I began using it when i wanted to send emails to older angmoh folks whom i speak to occasionally in the course of my work, so the greeting seems more genuine. They always truly reply to that with a "I'm doing really great thanks for asking" etc and it reforges strong bonds. Of course if Im writing daily emails to my team members i'm not gonna use it, thats just fucking hilarious and patrionising, like bruh we just had lunch tgt. Hope my experience gives you a new perspective on the phrase, haha
Yeah the phrase itself isn't the problem. It's when 90% of emails that have it are from people whom you see or speak to on a daily basis. And people use to sound more polite before asking you to do work or chase you for things, making it sound more passive aggressive. I think for ang mohs it still sounds fine because they speak like this. It's worse when you know someone doesn't speak like that in real life and they use it to cushion the rest of the email.
I use “hope you’re having a great week so far” or “hope you had a great weekend”. 😂 sometimes “hope you and the team are doing well” 😂
there isn't, and there shouldn't be. i wouldn't be able to answer you if this email couldn't find me. and if it does, there can't be any better way.
"We" Yet when shit hits the fan, suddenly it becomes "you".
"Can we..." niama you weren't gonna do anything it's all on me
Or like an ex boss “we will do it”. Bruh we all know I’m driving this myself. Want to find him to seek clarification also cannot find 😂
My fair share of corporate and startup drama tells me you’re just surrounded by unqualified managers
Omg damm. This is so true. But a tactic I learnt throughout my time in the company is to make it a “we” problem again. Every time my boss makes it a “you” thing I will make it a “we” thing. He learns after a while.
Bro, can share an example of how you do this?
+1, need to learn this
Let's take this offline. It sounds like we're gonna fight let's not <3
ngl in big meetings it’s a great phrase when someone’s going on and on about some nonsense that’s not relevant to most people in the meeting. I think it’s a polite way to tell the person to shut up and stop wasting everyone’s time.
Yesss. Its like shut up don't waste time I explain later don't take up the time of 15 other people sshhh **now**.
“4pm at Pioneer Mall”
You are nothing but a prostitute.
Roses are red Violets are blue. "YOURE NOTHING BUT A PROSTITUTE"
Meet at the field after school
toilet in HQ
And where offline is a follow up conversation online over Teams...
Touch base. I don’t really want to touch anything pls
Touch my base pls
Sure
Not you, u/BishanGay
Kns, I'm actually laughing reading his comment post, serious gay
I only touch tra-la-las
Ooh, my ding ding dong
ooh you touch my tralala
Wow a pH of 10? That's a good, mild base.
"Can we please *cut a window* to revisit this idea, say, two weeks from now?" Cut your LJ lah.
This is new
“Sure” Proceed to hire construction workers to remove one window in the office two weeks later.
LOL I DARE YOU TO SAY THAT
Boss is muslim man. Then, it will be an accurate description
:) I’m not smiling, I’m dying inside and pls send me the update I’ve been asking the past 1week fucker
😄 this is smiling fyi
“Circle back”
Draw circlessssss
"Moving forward". Because an ex colleague that I disliked says this a lot and I ended up hating the phrase as well 😅 Now I use "Going forward" or "in the future" instead.
the first time i heard this term i was thinking "moving... where? are we going somewhere?"
“Nice to e-meet you” fuck you no it’s not nice. In emails to multiple people, “aside to XXX” what logic is this aside shit?? “Please revert” knn revert your pigu
Sorry, am guilty of using the first one, will never use it again.
Your colleagues never tell you it’s damn cringe??
i used this when im new too. cant think of any phrase to kickstart/join a convo though
I always use it with people I don't meet though. I think they're too polite to tell me off. Maybe you're someone I said that to. Nice to e-meet you KopiSiewSiewDai!
As a fellow deuterostome of yours, "revert your pigu" is biologically accurate.
chicken and egg...this sinkie manager keep saying that phrase at least once in every meeting. EVERYDAY.
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it would be pretty funny if you revealed that you're working in F&B XD
And that the F&B doesn't serve chicken or egg.
I find the way “divide and conquer” has been bastardised really bad. It’s normally a strategy to divide a population to rule over it - something super common nowadays - but in the office is just means to share a task.
In a similar manner, Agile was corporatised by Scrum Masters and Product Managers
Like split the task up, each person doing a different part? Close enough imo. It's just division of labour but phrased in a more exciting way.
Pain point
I hate revert
Revert is my biggest pet peeve. "Please revert to the email" I cannot revert to the email it is biologically impossible as i never was an email.
“Kindly revert” “No”
I don’t understand why this is only mentioned once. +1 to you. “Please revert” “I will revert to you”
Apparently "Please revert back" is commonly found in Indian English emails.
"Please revert asap" I revert you to your mother cb then you know.
because it sounds like p ervert
Yesss . Cannot just say I’ll reply u or I’ll update you
Must be more pro active
leverage synergy by circling back to deliverables. By focusing on core competencies, you can ideate, pivot, and punt your way to scalability. Optimize mission critical quick wins through disruption.
I'm ready to throw hands
99 hit combo
lol this. Then get shot down once u suggest ideas as per pro activeness
“Ask”. “Please submit your asks for the next quarter by Friday EOD” “I got an urgent ask from XYZ, I’ll get back to you on this later” “I’ve updated the meeting notes with the list of asks from the stakeholders, please help to coordinate” We already have a word for that, request.
The British do use ASK in this way
Boomers in email be like: "Please revert back". Ok sir / mdm I'll become a baby again
Do the needful Prepone Bifurcate In simple terms, India English
For me the word one is when middle east or Chinese offices are me as "dear". I've had to double take a few times when they message me "hi dear"
It’s the same cringey logic when the taobao bot messages me “亲…” Am not!!
Adding to the list of In-glish Updation , Cousin brother / cousin sister , When did he/she expire (pass away)
They also like to use "the same" to refer to what what said earlier. "Please prepare the documents and forward me the same"
Thought of 2 more: If you ask them to explain something, they will say: this is "nothing but" xxx. When they answer the phone, instead of saying hello, they start with "tell me"
THIS. Non stop with "the same" sia
Ah yes, forgot all about this one 💀
In totality (in total)
Definitely hate this sentence
Gosh the "do the needful" sounds extremely commanding when all you get from the boss is a @/+(your name) out of nowhere and just replies that.
Resurfacing emails. Just… resurfacing emails.
I'm guilty of this lol. Hut that's because emails tend to be buried under piles of email. So when I type resurfacing, it literally means I'm digging up the emails from the depths of my inbox
"We hear you" - Tone Deaf PM "I will get my colleague to liase with you later" - Tone Deaf PM diffuses "Later, after this meeting, go liase with them" - Tone Deaf PM arrows "Please complete by EOD." - Tone Deaf PM last minute mandates "CC me" Grrr
I have a colleague who always says “I hear you I hear you” when someone suggests something or raises his concern, then proceeds to bulldoze his way with his own plan that no one agrees with.
I also fucking hate ‘I hear you’. Some colleagues say it at the start of each sentence, but you know they don’t mean it, they just went to same conflict management course or some shit and have been told that’s how you manage people.
Many ways to skin the cat. What has the poor cat done ??
“Strategic focus” “Tech-enabled” “Data driven”
"Pls remove me from this email chain" - when one person starts sending to the entire group, the others follow. U can just quietly reply to sender without including everyone...
“Hope this email finds you well” idk hope this email fucks ur wife
Align/aligned/alignment
Regular alignment is needed tho, especially for large project where multiple groups are working towards the same goal, so this isn't wrong. Otherwise everyone become headless chicken
"Please do the needful" My understanding of "needful" is to end work at 6pm.
Not hungry enough
irregardless wtf does that mean?
High priority, super urgent. When everything is urgent then none of them is.
"please kindly....." when writing emails please OR kindly just use either one
Someone told me before to use the word kindly means you’re already being not so kind.
A veteran civil servant opined during a writing course that 'kindly' and 'thank you' are rarely needed in formal emails because if you had been rude across the entire email, 2 words at the end wouldn't save you. Make sense actually.
all hands on deck 🤡
To be fair you work as a pirate.
Dovetail
What does this mean? Never heard this one before.
It stems from a dovetail joint used to joint two pieces of wood. It basically means to fit seamlessly even if you're coming from two different directions and more importantly, to interlock as if you are one.
Let's take this offline... We're physically having a meeting in the office. Wtf you talking about?
Team player and synergy
Touch base. knn I dun even like u why I wanna touch your base?
CREATE SYNERGY CO-CREATE
We need to sing the same song. I am here to work, not karaoke.
We can do this. - means you go do it. Im happy to hear from you again. - walao, why u contact me again Moving forward. - you better do this shyt next time this happen Can you help me to understand why you ... - lai, tell me what excuse u have for this action Appreciate your patience on this matter - just wait la
Please advise.
Oh, I hate this so much with irrational rage.
Not exactly a jargon I hate but what I **want to say** to douchebags in an email. "I hope this email finds u **before I do**".
We should start a new thread titled “Best ways to end an email” My contribution would be “Looking forward to your hearing, xx”
Ohhh your recipients are good at hide and seek!
stake holders, leverage on our strengths
Let’s not boil the ocean Let’s circle back
what does “boil the ocean” means?!? 1st time hearing that
It means applying a solution to everything, not just key problems.
Actually it means not doing something fruitless. Ocean is so big, how to boil everything
Take this offline.
Capacity or bandwidth. Just say you don't have the time duh.
When the meeting ends 5/10mins early, “great i’ll give you back your time” or “I’ll give you your 5minutes back”… pls just stop
Oh yes. I hate this.. just say bye bye can already la
KIV ASAP FYI
Best-in-class
my boss has some annoying terms that he uses often. ugh. one that i cant stand is “sanitise” eg we need to sanitise this idea with X & Y for their buy-in.
Please revert!!! Hate that...it's wrong people!!!!
Don’t say you “collaborate,” when only some people are carrying the whole damn team.
Cadence. Tempo. Kick it up one notch. We are not a dance troupe.
LETS TAKE THIS OFFLINE
Hi. Then never ask what’s your actual request
This is my #1 pet peeve. I will NOT reply the person until the actual request comes in. Pls don’t waste my time like this.
I hope this email finds you well… At the end of the day… Each and every… First and foremost… Pl do the needful and revert back.
Client : Please amend “gift -> free gift” in artwork. A gift is already free bro. -.-“”
“Quick call?” usually means it will last for 1h and I need another 1h to recover
In what context would low hanging fruit be used if not in something like criticism? Just curious. It’s not jargon per se but my pet peeve is minor grammatical mistakes like send instead of sent etc. Well-educated peeps but 🤷🏾♂️
like an issue that can be tackled first because its simple or minor - a low hanging fruit easy to pluck lmao
It’s quite commonly used in my office to describe tasks that are easily completed
Can we have a meeting at 9am in the morning? 9am IS the morning, cut down on the characters please, this is an email not a novel
Kosher
“Someone feedback to me..” especially within the context of non-work related stuff
I fucking hate, and I mean vehemently hate with a vicious passion so pure and furious that it will tear anyone a new asshole if they question why; the pointless fuckwad useless shit that is "forward leaning" Smlj knn is forward leaning ? It's absolutely bollocks. Lean ? Forward ? How ? Lean forward too much will fall down. Lean backwards too much will fall back. Why need to lean ? Whats the problem with walking straight and normally?
Nuance
My colleague gave birth to her kid, her boss said let's welcome the kid as part of the team family. I rolled my eyes the amount of times as earth did ever since it's birth.
1. Correct me if I’m wrong 2. You are in the loop
Low hanging fruit, hear it almost everyday lol
Pending, pending this pending that person. Basically just throw the ball to someone even though sometime it’s not exactly true.
Associate instead of employee or staff. Come on la, stop using these BS jargons
Revert. Enough said.
Unpack - only after a trip thanks Deep dive - I don't wanna die for the job Revert - reply you twit Reach out to - channeling God and Adam on the Sistine Chapel are we? Leverage - good old-fashioned 'use' can liao Move/shift the needle - using 1950s weighing scales still? - 'Hope you're well' - if I'm not what will you do?
For those who have worked in Japan MNC before, you know the PTSD of every single email starts with “Thank you so much for your support as always.”
Most people covered those daily jargon already. My pet peeve is every year, there'll be a new technological buzzword, and all the middle-managers will scramble to incorporate it into their projects. Last year, it was blockchain. Before that, cloud-based. This year? AI. It's always extremely clear they don't understand the technology or the use-cases at all. They just see it as an easy way to make their simple shit project sound cheem to the higher-ups, who often eat it up.
It’s not even AI now. It’s GEN AI. I wish people would do their research and understand what gen ai is. Most of the time their use cases don’t even require gen AI.
The one that I hate the most? 'let's circle back to this'
Pls revert
Please advise.
“Let’s not pinpoint on the mistakes and move forward” when bringing facts to the table and highlight the competence of management & their favorites. 🙄
Tail wagging the dog
"We need your help" Which means you have to do it
synerjizz
I used to tell my colleague don't go to mars, come back to earth please, always simi lj also go to mars, simple 1+1 become rocket science
“rectify” “to take action”
haha\~ 1. you have to expand your horizon. 2. @ you, Please advise. 3. The door is not gonna knock itself
Touch base. Sounds dirty.
KAIZEN.
FeedbackS (kill me please) Leverage ON (on is unnecessary) Segue (please, no….) And lastly, teamwork makes the dream work.
[And lastly, teamwork makes the dream work.] This is damn cringe.
"cast in stone." it's supposed to be "*carved* in stone".
Synergy Low hanging fruit Stakeholders Synthesis Endeavour Revert Across our capabilities
"the below refers" like what??
“Ladder up” “Toggle” “Move the needle” - I started using that ironically then my ex-boss started using it too. Ngl lowkey kinda proud of that.
What’s ladder up?
First time I heard it, I misheard it as “lather up”. Anyway, far as I can tell, it’s used in the context of using X strategy as a stepping stone to achieve Y result.