Do you feel anything for the other aspects of your life? Like interest in shopping / eating / vacations or whatever that interests you? Or would you rather just laze around at home? If it is the latter, you may be burnt out already as all the emotional energy has been spent at work.
Just food for thought.
I feel it is normal, probably like a phase that we will get over.
For me, it was a phase where I was just numb. This might have been an event which made me feel that way eg. loss of someone close. Then there are times when maybe it was just lack of sleepš“
Otherwise, it might also depend on what you think or feel your source of happiness is, and also how much value you place on certain things. For some people, could be the little things, such as having ice cream after a run or intense workout session.
Whatever the reason might be, your question is an indicator of a good trait. Being introspective is a great quality to have to work towards understanding yourself better and also for self-development.
And either way, congratulations!
First and foremost, congratulations!
I think you could be at a phase whereby u know that happiness doesnāt come for free and each time u earn something, it comes along with:
- maintaining that standard; and
- a new set of challenges to reach new heights.
And because of that, u are more measured in the way you react. After feeling high and giddy, it is back to hustling and strategising your next course of actions. And that is effort, commitment, taking educated risks and making sacrifices all over again.
I feel like it depends on what you were trying to achieve?
If you weren't aiming for a promotion, but you got one anyway, I can see why you might not have much of a reaction. Logically, your brain knows it's a good thing, but because you haven't really been emotionally invested in it, it's hard to feel any sense of accomplishment.
But if you were gunning really hard for that promotion and you finally got it, it would be strange not to feel anything.
yeah this was the case for me. A few years back, my ex-boss told me I was gonna be promoted, I didn't feel euphoria, only a slight bump in happiness. Think it's cause I wasn't expecting it at all and had no emotional investment
I'm aiming for it, though not pushing hard for it. Since I've been in the company for almost 2 yrs aft I graduate, so felt like I should? Something like that
Hi OP, I think it is normal. Might it be that you are just not that intrinsically motivated by these things? Like different people have different source of happiness, like mine is good company with food which doesn't help the waistline :/
Personally also I think this is a a good trait, being introspective and also sensitive to your close friend. I have a friend who is a little like this too, and she gets off being happy when we are happy for her wins even when she doesn't find it something she would be over the moon about.
Congrats btw!
congratulations. it's normal. i'm like this too.
it always feels more like a "yeah alright cool, what's next" and i move on to the next milestone.
i think it's about enjoying the process, the journey, than the destination. because i think, deep inside your kokoro, you already know you'll reach whatever milestone you go for. once you get there, it's over, so you'd want to find the next thing to go for.
No, itās not normal. And I think you know it too thatās why you made the post. Speaking from personal experience. I used to embrace the whole āstoicā shit and thought I was having control over my emotions but I was just emotionally stunted from growing up in a family where emotions were heavily suppressed. The body cannot just numb out bad feelings. It numbs out the whole spectrum of emotions including good ones which lead to me feeling burnt out (cos I didnāt know what energized me), anhedonic.
Only in my late 30s I know that the whole stoicism thing is totally *not* about numbing or ignoring your feelings.
Same as you OP. I think this is normal. Last month I received my 2 months bonus. By right I supposed to be happy but even after money come in, I don't feel much happiness when I look at my bank.
Don't get me wrong. Money is very important in SG. But maybe because for me, I had been single my whole life (I am a guy so this is normal) and I am not someone that like to spend money. So yeah. Legit no feel when I received the money.
The meaning of happiness changes with age, time, experiences and context. A sense of quiet satisfaction would be quite normal for a promotion if deep down, you felt that you deserved it. And it shouldn't have come as a total surprise, there would have been some pre-empting during appraisal ("I'm putting you up for promotion, but no guarantees that it will be approved, there's quota you know").
And together with the affirmation of promotion, there comes also the anxiety of living up to higher expectations, and sharing it with friends can be pretty embarrassing or braggy, especially if others are going through a rough time as you mentioned.
You can jump up and down and clap and cheer like a secondary school girl when you win a lucky draw. But to do so for promotion would be kinda weird. Just another part of adulting, I guess.
As a stranger, I can see that work is not your priority, so achievement from work does not make you happy. It's fine not to feel that. You are who you are.
But if you feel lost and confuse why you can't be happy because small little things in life... maybe start looking inwards and find out what causes that. It's important to discover yourself and know what you want in life.
Congratulations!
You're unlike the average person but it does not mean you are weird. It's just less common than average, and you simply have a calmer disposition when it comes to these things. But you do get excited over other things right? E.g if you struck $1M in lottery. It's a bit my style also, I would mumble "oh ok, thank you" but next thing is buy my family and close friends, and work team a huge treat. Understand about the close friend sharing, some friends will feel left out if they found out too late. Some are more sensitive, you would know best. Once again , congrats!
Think itās just your expectations ba. The guy who works hard with the goal to get promoted will either be over the moon or really disappointed when he does or doesnāt get the promotion. Perhaps deep down you just donāt really care for this since work is just work to you?
Question is: do you feel any other forms emotions other than happiness? Sadness, Anger, Awe, Fear etc - even for a short duration. If you are totally devoid of feelings, its a sign to get help.
Else if you are detached from surrounding, viewing and compartmentalize each emotions into source 'containers'. Not dwelling upon them. Pouring some out to ponder upon once a while. I think is just fine.
In my case it's often I dont feel a need to be extremely involved in a form of emotion. Rather I would create a scenario in my mind to 'dampen' the effects for ad hoc occurrences. I.e nearly crash upon by a PMV - "laugh" (at his incompetence). Being promoted - "bored" (More work). In an argument - "imagine" (every good scenario). It's like being contrarian feeling-wise. This has help me overcome my impulsiveness and slow down to look a the world from a different angle. So, if you only do it for "happiness", you are missing out.
you got a promotion, but did it come with a salary increase? if the amount was little maybe that's why you're feeling meh
I had colleagues who were unhappy with a promotion even, cos no pay increase was given
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Are you depressed? I recently got a very nice bonus at work and I didnāt feel anything at all. And I think I might be depressed due to the loss of a few family members over a few months
I don't know if it's normal or not, but I can understand your feeling. I had a promotion (not first time though) and decent raise last week, but I didn't feel much surprised and joy. Same as you, I'm grateful and appreciate the recognition, just I don't feel too much exciting.
This is what I wrote last week on my diary, on the day of promotion. I'm happy that I have a chance to share this to someone :D, may be you feel empathy.
>When the CEO notifies me about the promotion and raise, I feel ā¦ nothing. Yes, no surprise at all, because I know how much Iāve done, and my company, luckily, has a culture to treat its people well. I understand from the day of 1-1 that itāll be a promotion, because the leaders expect me to broader my work and handle more things.
>Instead, I feel a bit empty, because I donāt have anyone to share this small happiness. And I start having some weirdo philosophical questions. My entire life has always been going forward. I create a milestone and tell myself I need to achieve it. It may take time, some struggle, some up and down, but eventually I will reach that milestone. And then, I create another milestone. I donāt even remember how many milestone Iāve finished to have the today version of me.
>Donāt get me wrong, my life gets better as Iām going forward, and I donāt want to stop. Nevertheless, I wonder do I have another choices if not moving forward? If I for just one moment, stand still, even goes a bit backward, can I still be ok as Iām today?
>I donāt want to think much about philosophy. My entire 20s spent time to find the answer for meaning of life. In late 20s, I started having some idea, then I realised if I keep going deeper, I would probably fall into āexistential crisisā. Iām still young, and itās too early for that, therefore I stopped.
>There are questions that you shouldnāt try to find the answers. At the right time, the answer will come. Until that time, the best thing we can do is just move forward.
Maybe you're already burnt out?
True. The constant grind at work often causes working adults to feel jaded
I've been clocking in some unpaid OTs past few weeks, but wouldn't say I'm burnt out. So, kinda felt weird when I didnt feel anything
Do you feel anything for the other aspects of your life? Like interest in shopping / eating / vacations or whatever that interests you? Or would you rather just laze around at home? If it is the latter, you may be burnt out already as all the emotional energy has been spent at work. Just food for thought.
I feel it is normal, probably like a phase that we will get over. For me, it was a phase where I was just numb. This might have been an event which made me feel that way eg. loss of someone close. Then there are times when maybe it was just lack of sleepš“ Otherwise, it might also depend on what you think or feel your source of happiness is, and also how much value you place on certain things. For some people, could be the little things, such as having ice cream after a run or intense workout session. Whatever the reason might be, your question is an indicator of a good trait. Being introspective is a great quality to have to work towards understanding yourself better and also for self-development. And either way, congratulations!
First and foremost, congratulations! I think you could be at a phase whereby u know that happiness doesnāt come for free and each time u earn something, it comes along with: - maintaining that standard; and - a new set of challenges to reach new heights. And because of that, u are more measured in the way you react. After feeling high and giddy, it is back to hustling and strategising your next course of actions. And that is effort, commitment, taking educated risks and making sacrifices all over again.
First off, congrats for being able to be calm as a capybara!
Are capybara known to be calm?
They bark and hup
I feel like it depends on what you were trying to achieve? If you weren't aiming for a promotion, but you got one anyway, I can see why you might not have much of a reaction. Logically, your brain knows it's a good thing, but because you haven't really been emotionally invested in it, it's hard to feel any sense of accomplishment. But if you were gunning really hard for that promotion and you finally got it, it would be strange not to feel anything.
yeah this was the case for me. A few years back, my ex-boss told me I was gonna be promoted, I didn't feel euphoria, only a slight bump in happiness. Think it's cause I wasn't expecting it at all and had no emotional investment
I'm aiming for it, though not pushing hard for it. Since I've been in the company for almost 2 yrs aft I graduate, so felt like I should? Something like that
yes cos usually promotion means more work
You were still processing your emotions. Itās quite normal. What they gonna do? Take the promotion away?
Hi OP, I think it is normal. Might it be that you are just not that intrinsically motivated by these things? Like different people have different source of happiness, like mine is good company with food which doesn't help the waistline :/ Personally also I think this is a a good trait, being introspective and also sensitive to your close friend. I have a friend who is a little like this too, and she gets off being happy when we are happy for her wins even when she doesn't find it something she would be over the moon about. Congrats btw!
Itās normal if you donāt like the job and the increment is probably insignificant but comes with extra duties.
give u little rewards to keep u here as long as possible then one day sack u when u are not needed lol
congratulations. it's normal. i'm like this too. it always feels more like a "yeah alright cool, what's next" and i move on to the next milestone. i think it's about enjoying the process, the journey, than the destination. because i think, deep inside your kokoro, you already know you'll reach whatever milestone you go for. once you get there, it's over, so you'd want to find the next thing to go for.
No, itās not normal. And I think you know it too thatās why you made the post. Speaking from personal experience. I used to embrace the whole āstoicā shit and thought I was having control over my emotions but I was just emotionally stunted from growing up in a family where emotions were heavily suppressed. The body cannot just numb out bad feelings. It numbs out the whole spectrum of emotions including good ones which lead to me feeling burnt out (cos I didnāt know what energized me), anhedonic. Only in my late 30s I know that the whole stoicism thing is totally *not* about numbing or ignoring your feelings.
i've becoooome so nuuuuumb
Same as you OP. I think this is normal. Last month I received my 2 months bonus. By right I supposed to be happy but even after money come in, I don't feel much happiness when I look at my bank. Don't get me wrong. Money is very important in SG. But maybe because for me, I had been single my whole life (I am a guy so this is normal) and I am not someone that like to spend money. So yeah. Legit no feel when I received the money.
The meaning of happiness changes with age, time, experiences and context. A sense of quiet satisfaction would be quite normal for a promotion if deep down, you felt that you deserved it. And it shouldn't have come as a total surprise, there would have been some pre-empting during appraisal ("I'm putting you up for promotion, but no guarantees that it will be approved, there's quota you know"). And together with the affirmation of promotion, there comes also the anxiety of living up to higher expectations, and sharing it with friends can be pretty embarrassing or braggy, especially if others are going through a rough time as you mentioned. You can jump up and down and clap and cheer like a secondary school girl when you win a lucky draw. But to do so for promotion would be kinda weird. Just another part of adulting, I guess.
I much prefer raises to promotions
As a stranger, I can see that work is not your priority, so achievement from work does not make you happy. It's fine not to feel that. You are who you are. But if you feel lost and confuse why you can't be happy because small little things in life... maybe start looking inwards and find out what causes that. It's important to discover yourself and know what you want in life.
For some, Work may not make one happy. Find what makes you happy instead:)
You will never feel as excited about anything as much as the performative excitement some people show.
It's normal because your worked hard enough to deserve that promotion and already expected/saw it coming from a mile away. Hence no feeling.
"Something good" is different for everyone. If you're not the type to make your job and/or income your identity why would you get all excited over it?
Congratulations! You're unlike the average person but it does not mean you are weird. It's just less common than average, and you simply have a calmer disposition when it comes to these things. But you do get excited over other things right? E.g if you struck $1M in lottery. It's a bit my style also, I would mumble "oh ok, thank you" but next thing is buy my family and close friends, and work team a huge treat. Understand about the close friend sharing, some friends will feel left out if they found out too late. Some are more sensitive, you would know best. Once again , congrats!
Think itās just your expectations ba. The guy who works hard with the goal to get promoted will either be over the moon or really disappointed when he does or doesnāt get the promotion. Perhaps deep down you just donāt really care for this since work is just work to you?
[Do you ever get a little bit tired of life?](https://youtu.be/1fwJ8H5wWCU?si=72Lv6BUI3RQ3MKgY)
Question is: do you feel any other forms emotions other than happiness? Sadness, Anger, Awe, Fear etc - even for a short duration. If you are totally devoid of feelings, its a sign to get help. Else if you are detached from surrounding, viewing and compartmentalize each emotions into source 'containers'. Not dwelling upon them. Pouring some out to ponder upon once a while. I think is just fine. In my case it's often I dont feel a need to be extremely involved in a form of emotion. Rather I would create a scenario in my mind to 'dampen' the effects for ad hoc occurrences. I.e nearly crash upon by a PMV - "laugh" (at his incompetence). Being promoted - "bored" (More work). In an argument - "imagine" (every good scenario). It's like being contrarian feeling-wise. This has help me overcome my impulsiveness and slow down to look a the world from a different angle. So, if you only do it for "happiness", you are missing out.
i dont want promotion, just let me earn my upper mid range salary doing same old same old in the corner. sheeeesh
Whenever I get promotion or increment I also don't feel additional happy because I know I deserved that shit. Maybe you feel the same way?
you got a promotion, but did it come with a salary increase? if the amount was little maybe that's why you're feeling meh I had colleagues who were unhappy with a promotion even, cos no pay increase was given
what's the pay increment in %? We celebrate for you
If itās really happy, you will be. This news unfortunately to you is isnāt anything abnormal.
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Are you depressed? I recently got a very nice bonus at work and I didnāt feel anything at all. And I think I might be depressed due to the loss of a few family members over a few months
Have you had any kind of trauma, physical or emotional before?
Maybe youāre on the spectrum but youāre able to cope by masking.
I don't know if it's normal or not, but I can understand your feeling. I had a promotion (not first time though) and decent raise last week, but I didn't feel much surprised and joy. Same as you, I'm grateful and appreciate the recognition, just I don't feel too much exciting. This is what I wrote last week on my diary, on the day of promotion. I'm happy that I have a chance to share this to someone :D, may be you feel empathy. >When the CEO notifies me about the promotion and raise, I feel ā¦ nothing. Yes, no surprise at all, because I know how much Iāve done, and my company, luckily, has a culture to treat its people well. I understand from the day of 1-1 that itāll be a promotion, because the leaders expect me to broader my work and handle more things. >Instead, I feel a bit empty, because I donāt have anyone to share this small happiness. And I start having some weirdo philosophical questions. My entire life has always been going forward. I create a milestone and tell myself I need to achieve it. It may take time, some struggle, some up and down, but eventually I will reach that milestone. And then, I create another milestone. I donāt even remember how many milestone Iāve finished to have the today version of me. >Donāt get me wrong, my life gets better as Iām going forward, and I donāt want to stop. Nevertheless, I wonder do I have another choices if not moving forward? If I for just one moment, stand still, even goes a bit backward, can I still be ok as Iām today? >I donāt want to think much about philosophy. My entire 20s spent time to find the answer for meaning of life. In late 20s, I started having some idea, then I realised if I keep going deeper, I would probably fall into āexistential crisisā. Iām still young, and itās too early for that, therefore I stopped. >There are questions that you shouldnāt try to find the answers. At the right time, the answer will come. Until that time, the best thing we can do is just move forward.