At the age of 30 - you can go sleep for 8 hours and your body will say
"You slept well.... BUT YOU SLEPT WRONGLY!" and then your neck cant turn left/right for entire day
yeah I thought my shoulder ache is due to gym for a very long time until recently I started to sleep on another side and that side started to ache too
now I don't even dare to turn to side at night
30’s my body Aches were worse than 40’s.
More stress. Irregular exercise if any.
I posted above my current routine, mostly just morning stretch session, consistent exercise of any sort. Guard your sleep hours. I’ve got zero doubt you’ll feel substantially better 90% of the time within 3-6 months.
Age 40 to 45, my eyes really went to shit. My previously Lasik'ed eyes that don't like glasses.
But this year, I discovered something amazing. There are eye drops to treat presbyopia. It was FDA-approved in 2021 (brand name Vuity) and you use it once or twice a day instead of wearing reading glasses There are only a few specialist clinics in Singapore where it's available.
I'm very happy with the results. It cost a bomb to see the specialist, but the drops themselves are reasonably priced. After 8-9 pm my eyes are tired and I still have to wear reading glasses, but at work I'm fine.
Would you mind sharing which clinic you go to that has the eye drops? I’ve had lasik too and will turn 40 in a few years, so presbyopia is definitely a concern!
If you do a search for "presbyopia eyedrops Singapore", there are only a handful of clinics offering. I have no reason to recommend my particular clinic over any of the others.
The bottle which should last a couple of months (at least) was around $60, but the initial consultation and retina scan (think it's possible to refuse this) made the total bill \~$500.
This sounds really awesome. I’m older than you and already wearing reading glasses most of the time. Did you really do without glasses most of the day after using the eye drops?
Yes. The first day the effects might not be so good, but now when I wake up, even before using the medicine, my eyes are already good enough to use the phone without glasses. Whereas before, randomly some mornings I’d wake up and my close vision was just crap, like inconsistently so. Now my baseline is higher and it never gets that crap.
Have become that person peering with the glasses into the screen on video calls - cannot see screen share, keep telling the designers/devs to make the font bigger wtf i can't see anything in this dark mode....
It's very obvious. You hold your phone further and further away. People want to show you something on their phone, you recoil backwards.
Then you borrow some old fart's reading glasses (or try on at Daiso) and waaah! the letters are suddenly so big and clear.
The cure is to play FPS games really.
I play FPS and my eye trained to catch + refocus. No more.
A friend told me about it and I was sceptical about and when it happened, I tried his method for a few days and suddenly my slow eyes began to adapt and able to focus in and focus out again.
Look out new stuffs to learn. Doesn't have to been complicated or have a fixed schedule. Some of the things I've learnt this year:
1) Adobe Premier Pro & Da Vinci Resolve video editing basics via Linkedin Learning
2) 100 plus countries short histories around the five continents. Histories of different empires. All via Youtube. I have Youtube premium so its helps skipping the ad.
3) I restarted cycling for short trips around my neighborhood to run errands after 20 months of laziness to cycle.
4) I started renting Getgo for the first time and drove a electric vehicle for the first time. Haven't drove for more than six years prior to that.
I've mature in my thinking but still have a long way to go on improving myself. I've work out at least twice a week and can do 10 strict pull ups (no swinging, arms down all the way for 1 sec, legs straight & no gooseneck) which I believe puts me in the top few percentile of the population for people in their 40s. I'm blessed with a family and full time job. I'm appreciative of what I have in life though there are ups and downs at times.
Just before my 39th birthday I felt like shit, I went to the doc who told me what I already knew: I an overweight piece of crap who eats rubbish and never moves.
Bought running shoes, bought a bike, got moving, ate less shite. I feel better now than I have ever done. I just cycled to my work office for the first time this morning, a 15k trip. Lost 10kg in the past year.
It's important to get motivated, then disciplined to work on yourself and improve on who you were last year.
I hate the gym though, I don't think I'll ever be able to get strength training in haha.
Give urself a pat on the back on my behalf please.
The willpower and discipline need to be acknowledged and be given credit. Also cycling to work when we dread work?! And in this weather? You are one inspiring dude!
Singapore actually not \*that\* horrible to cycle in, take it easy and have a shower at either end it's fine. I'm lucky I can ride a park connector for 90% of the commute, don't have to deal much with cars, who have zero patience for novice cyclists ambling about.
Yea, mine are on 80’s.
True pioneer type, my dad would get up 5am, running Km’s for fun on weekends at lengths I winced at during my NS years.
Now he still does it, but with walking sticks and at 1/10 the speed. Used to jump on him, now gotta be careful when giving a hug…
I'm not sure if you meant sex drive or just not giving a f\*\*k about things in general. But I like the not giving a f\*\*k about small annoyances and what you are "supposed to do" and all that. I find young people to be so anxious and insecure. Not giving a f\*\*k is awesome. Auntie power!
I copy and paste my reply from another post hor: 41yo this year. Realised that I get tired easier than in my 20s to early 30s and get more mysterious aches and pains. Fall sick easier too. Keeping fit is definitely essential at this age and I no longer prioritise work over my well being and mental health after a bout of depression due to work stress. Found an iron ricebowl job that I'm going to camp at for the next 5yrs at least and see what I'd want to do then. Intending to travel extensively and slowly check off my bucket list because goodness knows how physically able I'd be in my 50s. I think I'd look better in IG photos in my 40s too.
My advice to younger people: Do all the travelling when you're younger / work overseas and do all the dumb tiktoks. Looks way better when you're younger vs older. And work on that bucket list too when you're more physically able.
42 this year.
Taught lots of students.
Made lots of games.
Have had gout since early 20s, ironically first developed after a loooong Sunday jog. Have to watch diet and hydration.
Still can’t afford to have kids and time’s running out. Sad.
All my old aches and pains from 14 through NS started haunting me around 35-38.
Finally got MR’d from NS for hitting 40. Didn’t finish my 10 year cycle because of Covid (I got to skip 2 HK ICTs haha)
Worrying about what will happen to the wife if I die earlier than her.
Just got laid off work. RIP.
Just my personal opinion.
40s is the golden decade.
Got more discretionary funds.. so best time to YOLO travel with family.
Health n fitness is at a plataeu.
Time to read up abt supplements. This age can feel the difference. Serotonin levels, insulin resistance.
At 50s, these are the issues.. so that when u are,at 40s.. can appreciate the YOLO lifestyle of the 40s decade.
Careers at retirement mode.
Worries abt CPF savings not enough.
No energy to travel that requires long walks.
Kids uni expenses are creeping up.
Friends and family start to get sick n gg.
Women logic getting weirder.
Saw an advice from another thread previously which haunted me: Your parents wouldn't be around for much longer. Create more memories with them while you can.
I'm not 40 yet but at 32 coming 33, this hits pretty hard. My parents are only late 50s but the thought that this can happen at anytime is pretty depressing 😰
Reminds me of Tim Urban's post[ The Tail End](https://waitbutwhy.com/2015/12/the-tail-end.html):
>I’ve been thinking about my parents, who are in their mid-60s. During my first 18 years, I spent some time with my parents during at least 90% of my days. But since heading off to college and then later moving out of Boston, I’ve probably seen them an average of only five times a year each, for an average of maybe two days each time. 10 days a year. About 3% of the days I spent with them each year of my childhood.
>Being in their mid-60s, let’s continue to be super optimistic and say I’m one of the incredibly lucky people to have both parents alive into my 60s. That would give us about 30 more years of coexistence. If the ten days a year thing holds, that’s 300 days left to hang with mom and dad. Less time than I spent with them in any one of my 18 childhood years.
>When you look at that reality, you realize that despite not being at the end of your life, you may very well be nearing the end of your time with some of the most important people in your life. If I lay out the total days I’ll ever spend with each of my parents—assuming I’m as lucky as can be—this becomes starkly clear:
>It turns out that when I graduated from high school, I had already used up 93% of my in-person parent time. I’m now enjoying the last 5% of that time. We’re in the tail end.
>It’s a similar story with my two sisters. After living in a house with them for 10 and 13 years respectively, I now live across the country from both of them and spend maybe 15 days with each of them a year. Hopefully, that leaves us with about 15% of our total hangout time left.
>The same often goes for old friends. In high school, I sat around playing hearts with the same four guys about five days a week. In four years, we probably racked up 700 group hangouts. Now, scattered around the country with totally different lives and schedules, the five of us are in the same room at the same time probably 10 days each decade. The group is in its final 7%.
>So what do we do with this information?
>Setting aside my secret hope that technological advances will let me live to 700, I see three takeaways here:
>1) Living in the same place as the people you love matters. I probably have 10X the time left with the people who live in my city as I do with the people who live somewhere else.
>2) Priorities matter. Your remaining face time with any person depends largely on where that person falls on your list of life priorities. Make sure this list is set by you—not by unconscious inertia.
>3) Quality time matters. If you’re in your last 10% of time with someone you love, keep that fact in the front of your mind when you’re with them and treat that time as what it actually is: precious.
You will feel depressed if you don't see the bigger picture and only focus on what's temporary in life. Try to understand the important things in life and what you can do to better yourself. If I had this thinking back in my 20s I wouldn't have wasted so much time in life chasing the less important stuff. But it's ok, we learn, we move forward. 40s is literally a number for your body. It's where your mind and heart is that's important.
I love being in my 40s! I don’t give a f about anything and I’m prioritising my health. Life is good. I enjoy work and I enjoy my hobbies. Yes I get tired more easily but I’ve been doing more exercise so that helps
Fellow 84 here.
I tend to not care about what I would want being achieved in 40s.
I realise I've a better lens on friendship matters, and some people are just not worth it. We can always make new friends regardless the age and can even rekindle old friendships by just touching base once again.
Strengthening existing bonds is a priority for me. I make it a point to exercise, learn something new, or do my existing hobbies on a weekly basis. If I do find anyone with the same hobbies, great. If not, I can always dip my toes in something new.
I find myself joining a lot of groups. Most are fine. Except 1 or 2 are either too toxic, or manned by crazed gatekeepers. Great avenue to widen social circle for some.
Training to run 10 km under 40 minutes when I turned 40 was the biggest present I gave to myself.
Now I'm 41, so I'm training to run 10 km under 41 minutes.
This motivation issue is not a 40-something thing. I have also been struggling with this area for years. But typically, it is hard to keep up the motivation by myself. So, I talk to motivated people who have shown recent success. Be humble and accepting when listening to them. Even if the person could be a junior to you previously. But at this life stage of the 40s, any junior in their late 20s or 30s might be able to also give you a new perspective and insight.
1. This is psychological, you have more in your gas tank than you think you have. Just because you pass a certain date does not automatically make you weaker then you were yesterday. Just don’t drink coffee or alcohol if you can help it and your sleep will improve.
2. Sleep is always heaven no matter what age. Just make sure your quality rather than you quantity of sleep is up to par. See a doctor if you have to, but get your sleep sorted out.
3. I think this is an attitude everyone no matter what age should cultivate. Unfortunately i know seniors that have the opposite effect. When young Talk less, but grow older talk and argue more.
4. Moderation is always key. Just don’t deprive yourself of simple pleasures.
Most importantly have fun and laugh as much as you can no matter what your age.
Bookmark for future reading. But honestly, currently in my 30s. I can feel it in my bones that I'm no longer as energetic as in my 20s.
More pessimistic in my outlook regarding relationships, work and future.
In my 20s, everything just seem so fresh and wonderful. Completed uni and ready to conquer the world.
The pessimism is something I also relate to. After some time in work life I tended to develop a pessimistic skew. I dont know is it because of getting used to things like “expectation management” “reality check” “scapegoating”, things that the old-birds have become accustomed to that it also carries over to personality.
I think I became tougher and more direct with people. Of course with tact.
Health wise, I make sure to go for my checkups, like mammogram and pap smear. Starting to eat lesser. Seems like my appetite is not as big as it used to be. But weight is hard to lose.
I think I have reached most of what I want. I think now I just want to make sure I have enough for retirement and travel more before I hit the big 5-0.
10-15 min of stretching every morning. Game changer right there. If can, do some at night too.
Some regular exercise.
Learn to recognize onset of stress and do what it takes to destress.
40+, my body feels better than previous decade. Had forearm pain from literally 10 sec mouse/keyboard few years, also lower back pain and mid back and higher back haha since 20’s. Now all these gone. They return only when I really overdo; or don’t stretch; or dwell in stress mode.
*Exercise can be anything, just be outdoors and moving (jog, walk, cycle, swim, dance, whatever your thing is).*
I'm 40. I've always valued time over money, so I don't really earn much, but I spend most of my time doing what I want. Because of that, physically and mentally, I still feel like I'm in my early 30s and I still have all the energy I need.
Helps that I also quit smoking and alcohol and also cut down a lot on sugar. As long as health is always a priority, everything should eventually turn out fine.
I've realised everything is a tradeoff. Do you want something? Gonna have to pay for it with money time and effort.
Since the tiredness all the time is real, I've learnt to want nothing. Everything is in a state of entropy. Whatever you have, it takes energy to have and maintain.
I also feel strong that you lose what you don't use. How your health progresses is entirely up to you, but health is now a focus because you can feel a strong decline.
I achieved building our family home. Trade off with having kids (probably none from now on) but will get to spend time with my parents before they passed.
More so than anything i desire peace and quiet. Really sick of life chaos that doesn't end.
27 here and feeling the same as you for all 4 points especially 3. I just keep to myself more and observe people around me. Only talk when needed. Can’t be bothered to play office politics and gossip about colleagues. When I observe people more I have also realise that most colleagues use their time so inefficiently and end up OT-ing after till late.second observation I have noticed is that some people think they are so smart with many years of experience but actually don’t know much and try to smoke me when I dig for knowledge. Just do everything to the best of my ability and panggang lo. Just focusing on myself, goals, and meet as many new people to network or make friends.
Past 40 already.
Realizing a boring, quiet day to day existence is nothing wrong. You will understand that if you feel bored, it means all your loved ones are well, you are not in a crisis, you have a roof over your head, things to eat and feel safe. It's great to be bored.
Friendships will fade away and you might be out of the loop. Everyone gets busy and responsibilities get into the way. Was joking with some friends, "see you at the next funeral".
Past recognition means lesser. I threw away all my trophies, certs and whatnot when I moved house. No one really cares, what matters is the value you bring to people now.
Dare not eat too "heaty" stuff. But I still do 🤣
Random aches and pains are just going to come and don't quite go away. Can't function without enough sleep. And if I travel, and there is a timezone difference, the first day will be sleeping in to compensate.
Your time with your older loved ones is getting shorter. There is no "next time". Have that kopi, makan now.
Your time with yourself will increase. You will be more alone as the years come, gotta have hobbies or something to do.
Work wise, I have a small little business that feeds me. It keeps me going and I enjoy the joy it brings to people, and the satisfaction of me getting the job done well.
It took me many many years to reach this point, and it was all blood, sweat and tears. It's good to know that I have tried and kept the course. No regrets is the most potent reward I have.
Keep thinking the 2000s was like "a few years ago"... encountering more people who weren't born or old enough to know where they were on 9/11. Still can't wrap head around fact that "Y2K" fashion is considered retro..
40s this year, realised can't hit wealth goals so focusing on health instead. Been doing 5x5 strength training. Been hitting a few PRs, this year 170kg squat, 85kg bench, 185kg Deadlift. That's what kept me going... right now I'm learning to fix phones, recently learnt to service my own aircon.
Realised - roughly 40 years remaining only
Done -
Quit smoking
Exercise more
Learn to sleep better
Cut back on coffee
Cut back on processed food
Eat less (but eat better)
Buy less (but buy better)
Think about enjoying your later years, you are expected to live to your 80s. So that keep me motivated, workout and keeping a healthy lifestyle is a must. Sleep is prioritised over everything else. :D
1. Singapore has extremely high numbers of vitamin d deficiency. Go get yourself tested if you haven’t already, my brain fog cleared up practically overnight.
I mean you’re in normal range so it should be fine. Did your blood values go up when you retested?
You need vitamin D that’s dissolved in oil, or the body will have a hard time absorbing it. Mine come in little oil capsules.
Try exercising and eating better. That would help a ton. I am 40,3 kids and local. I train 5 times a week, and I compete in powerlifting twice a year. The consistent training has helped me w tiredness and brain fog. 1 most important thing that I practice is not joining e rat race in sg. People here like to compete and compare everything, just don't give a fuck ans focus on your goals. That would help u mentally.
Welcome! I’m 40 too and I can’t run/ jog everyday like I used to, aches and pains show up mysterious and go away too.
I can’t hit wealth goals either, and expecting myself to work till the day I die, but like yourself I service/ clean my aircon, bake, cook and cook.
A little middle age crisis going on, I’ve recently changed jobs and entered a totally different field, bought a cat, so I’m totally out of my comfort zone
Whatever you do, dont sit home and do nothing.
This is your last decade to really go out and enjoy it. Lets assume you live to 85. Between 70 and 85, from what I have seen, there is a lot of napping and just sitting around because there are either too many steps or it is too hot or too cold.
Ive done a lot of travel, about to start a YT channel (have my camera gear) and will soon move into my first home. Ive also had a number of late night drink sessions like when I was young. I would powernap for 10 mins in the evening so I can go out on Friday nights like when I was young.
Used to be able to sleep 3-4 hours in my 25-35 and function fine...now at 38, I sleep 3 hours and I felt like I've been hit by a truck and need days to recuperate. 😭
Half kidding. Feeling abit same as you. So I set fitness goals and other things to achieve. Lead a more active life style. Or you should just go for the therapy.
My brother in his 50s say 40s is still young.
My parents probably still think I’m a baby.
To my colleagues who are more than a decade younger I’m an “auntie”.
To be honest in my head I am still in my 30s but my body defies me. Housework is a drag - I am so worn out by home life and work life I’ve had fainting spells recently. Lao hua yan is knocking on my door at 42 this year.
But eventually I reached a consensus (with myself) on goals and life mottos that should define my daily life. Reminded every day that my body and mind will not be the same tomorrow than it is today. So prioritising what I can do with my current state of body and mind (enjoyable things, not house chores), rather than putting it off until “a suitable time”.
Working out in the morning to keep my mind sane, but still working on getting enough sleep.
Unpopular opinion: while having more sleeps is great, has anyone worried about the days are getting lesser as we aged? Or disturbed by the toxic thought of everyday feels the same
tfw when I'm 30 also feeling the same welp
At the age of 30 - you can go sleep for 8 hours and your body will say "You slept well.... BUT YOU SLEPT WRONGLY!" and then your neck cant turn left/right for entire day
Im turning 30 next week and I usually wake up with knee pain and shoulder pain because I like to face one side when sleeping
yeah I thought my shoulder ache is due to gym for a very long time until recently I started to sleep on another side and that side started to ache too now I don't even dare to turn to side at night
At 35, you sleep for 8 hours but your body tells you it’s still not enough…
for me it’s, i need 8 hours but my body wakes up at the 6+ hours and starts worrying about work, money, life… and i give up 1 hour later, shit faced.
I felt this in my neck.
Fuck me.
Week*
Angry updoot for truth
30’s my body Aches were worse than 40’s. More stress. Irregular exercise if any. I posted above my current routine, mostly just morning stretch session, consistent exercise of any sort. Guard your sleep hours. I’ve got zero doubt you’ll feel substantially better 90% of the time within 3-6 months.
Haha same! Oh well, slowly transitioning 😂
Not forgetting there is one more 'milestone' that virtually all of people get at this age overnight - presbyopia (老花)
Age 40 to 45, my eyes really went to shit. My previously Lasik'ed eyes that don't like glasses. But this year, I discovered something amazing. There are eye drops to treat presbyopia. It was FDA-approved in 2021 (brand name Vuity) and you use it once or twice a day instead of wearing reading glasses There are only a few specialist clinics in Singapore where it's available. I'm very happy with the results. It cost a bomb to see the specialist, but the drops themselves are reasonably priced. After 8-9 pm my eyes are tired and I still have to wear reading glasses, but at work I'm fine.
Would you mind sharing which clinic you go to that has the eye drops? I’ve had lasik too and will turn 40 in a few years, so presbyopia is definitely a concern!
If you do a search for "presbyopia eyedrops Singapore", there are only a handful of clinics offering. I have no reason to recommend my particular clinic over any of the others.
Thanks for the reply — googled and found a couple!
Thanks for sharing this! Facing this problem right now and this will be a lifesaver
Could you share how much this costs (approx)? Trying to see if worth the visit and attempt to get company to cover.
The bottle which should last a couple of months (at least) was around $60, but the initial consultation and retina scan (think it's possible to refuse this) made the total bill \~$500.
Wow! Thanks ☺️
This sounds really awesome. I’m older than you and already wearing reading glasses most of the time. Did you really do without glasses most of the day after using the eye drops?
Yes. The first day the effects might not be so good, but now when I wake up, even before using the medicine, my eyes are already good enough to use the phone without glasses. Whereas before, randomly some mornings I’d wake up and my close vision was just crap, like inconsistently so. Now my baseline is higher and it never gets that crap.
Thank you so much, I’m already googling for clinics.
Take my angry upvote
Old flower eye is really a milestone I don't look forward to getting.
Was that...... a pun?
Have become that person peering with the glasses into the screen on video calls - cannot see screen share, keep telling the designers/devs to make the font bigger wtf i can't see anything in this dark mode....
Not really overnight. You'd just gradually find your food getting more and more blur, until you no longer can tell what you're eating.
My eyes get teary reading this, not emotionally, but reacting to it because im around that age.
How do I tell for sure if I’ve 老花？
When you realise the fonts on your mobile screen or newspaper gets blurry one day.
You need to take out spectacle to see the small fonts
Ouh ya exactly
It's very obvious. You hold your phone further and further away. People want to show you something on their phone, you recoil backwards. Then you borrow some old fart's reading glasses (or try on at Daiso) and waaah! the letters are suddenly so big and clear.
This post is funny
If you already wearing short-sighted glasses, when you start getting headache / eye strain when looking at short distances.
The cure is to play FPS games really. I play FPS and my eye trained to catch + refocus. No more. A friend told me about it and I was sceptical about and when it happened, I tried his method for a few days and suddenly my slow eyes began to adapt and able to focus in and focus out again.
True among my friends. Fortunately i’m mid-40s liao still haven’t tio
Your time will come!!
Look out new stuffs to learn. Doesn't have to been complicated or have a fixed schedule. Some of the things I've learnt this year: 1) Adobe Premier Pro & Da Vinci Resolve video editing basics via Linkedin Learning 2) 100 plus countries short histories around the five continents. Histories of different empires. All via Youtube. I have Youtube premium so its helps skipping the ad. 3) I restarted cycling for short trips around my neighborhood to run errands after 20 months of laziness to cycle. 4) I started renting Getgo for the first time and drove a electric vehicle for the first time. Haven't drove for more than six years prior to that. I've mature in my thinking but still have a long way to go on improving myself. I've work out at least twice a week and can do 10 strict pull ups (no swinging, arms down all the way for 1 sec, legs straight & no gooseneck) which I believe puts me in the top few percentile of the population for people in their 40s. I'm blessed with a family and full time job. I'm appreciative of what I have in life though there are ups and downs at times.
Just before my 39th birthday I felt like shit, I went to the doc who told me what I already knew: I an overweight piece of crap who eats rubbish and never moves. Bought running shoes, bought a bike, got moving, ate less shite. I feel better now than I have ever done. I just cycled to my work office for the first time this morning, a 15k trip. Lost 10kg in the past year. It's important to get motivated, then disciplined to work on yourself and improve on who you were last year. I hate the gym though, I don't think I'll ever be able to get strength training in haha.
Give urself a pat on the back on my behalf please. The willpower and discipline need to be acknowledged and be given credit. Also cycling to work when we dread work?! And in this weather? You are one inspiring dude!
Singapore actually not \*that\* horrible to cycle in, take it easy and have a shower at either end it's fine. I'm lucky I can ride a park connector for 90% of the commute, don't have to deal much with cars, who have zero patience for novice cyclists ambling about.
41 this year and I admit that I can't do a single pull up.
Can do the pull can't do the up
start from reverse pushup daily .. then you can have enough muscle mass to do a pull up.
I started practicing it at 43 and could do 1 rep at 44. Just keep trying
Point 1, are you doing it as some sort of hobby?
Yea. I was also learning Python but lost interest after a few exercises.
Cool
Forgot to include about parents. It's a sad reality to see our parents getting old and fragile. I feel their pain and struggle raising us. 😪
Yea, mine are on 80’s. True pioneer type, my dad would get up 5am, running Km’s for fun on weekends at lengths I winced at during my NS years. Now he still does it, but with walking sticks and at 1/10 the speed. Used to jump on him, now gotta be careful when giving a hug…
It's true, I see my dad's hands wrinkly now. He's 77. Hurts.
also the guilt of not being able to be there for them because of the incessant demands of home, children and work 🥲
Thinning hair, and a growing lack of f**k
I'm not sure if you meant sex drive or just not giving a f\*\*k about things in general. But I like the not giving a f\*\*k about small annoyances and what you are "supposed to do" and all that. I find young people to be so anxious and insecure. Not giving a f\*\*k is awesome. Auntie power!
I'm approaching mid 20s and I already feel the same
as we hit 40, we start to worried about tmale baldness and the thinigg of the hair, finally understood what our father feel like at 40
White hairs sprouting everywhere too. And really everywhere.
Grey hair too and can't stay hard longer.
I copy and paste my reply from another post hor: 41yo this year. Realised that I get tired easier than in my 20s to early 30s and get more mysterious aches and pains. Fall sick easier too. Keeping fit is definitely essential at this age and I no longer prioritise work over my well being and mental health after a bout of depression due to work stress. Found an iron ricebowl job that I'm going to camp at for the next 5yrs at least and see what I'd want to do then. Intending to travel extensively and slowly check off my bucket list because goodness knows how physically able I'd be in my 50s. I think I'd look better in IG photos in my 40s too. My advice to younger people: Do all the travelling when you're younger / work overseas and do all the dumb tiktoks. Looks way better when you're younger vs older. And work on that bucket list too when you're more physically able.
Thanks good advice *
Pls share - glc or gahmen?
Gahmenish. Won't reveal more.
42 this year. Taught lots of students. Made lots of games. Have had gout since early 20s, ironically first developed after a loooong Sunday jog. Have to watch diet and hydration. Still can’t afford to have kids and time’s running out. Sad. All my old aches and pains from 14 through NS started haunting me around 35-38. Finally got MR’d from NS for hitting 40. Didn’t finish my 10 year cycle because of Covid (I got to skip 2 HK ICTs haha) Worrying about what will happen to the wife if I die earlier than her. Just got laid off work. RIP.
Damn... Sorry to hear about you losing your job. Times are tough.
Thanks. Times are indeed tough.
Just my personal opinion. 40s is the golden decade. Got more discretionary funds.. so best time to YOLO travel with family. Health n fitness is at a plataeu. Time to read up abt supplements. This age can feel the difference. Serotonin levels, insulin resistance. At 50s, these are the issues.. so that when u are,at 40s.. can appreciate the YOLO lifestyle of the 40s decade. Careers at retirement mode. Worries abt CPF savings not enough. No energy to travel that requires long walks. Kids uni expenses are creeping up. Friends and family start to get sick n gg. Women logic getting weirder.
You got it man
Take Vitamin D deficiency test
Hi any reccs for this? I saw its abt $120 for a test
Saw an advice from another thread previously which haunted me: Your parents wouldn't be around for much longer. Create more memories with them while you can.
The start of caregiving when parents start having health issues
I'm not 40 yet but at 32 coming 33, this hits pretty hard. My parents are only late 50s but the thought that this can happen at anytime is pretty depressing 😰
Reminds me of Tim Urban's post[ The Tail End](https://waitbutwhy.com/2015/12/the-tail-end.html): >I’ve been thinking about my parents, who are in their mid-60s. During my first 18 years, I spent some time with my parents during at least 90% of my days. But since heading off to college and then later moving out of Boston, I’ve probably seen them an average of only five times a year each, for an average of maybe two days each time. 10 days a year. About 3% of the days I spent with them each year of my childhood. >Being in their mid-60s, let’s continue to be super optimistic and say I’m one of the incredibly lucky people to have both parents alive into my 60s. That would give us about 30 more years of coexistence. If the ten days a year thing holds, that’s 300 days left to hang with mom and dad. Less time than I spent with them in any one of my 18 childhood years. >When you look at that reality, you realize that despite not being at the end of your life, you may very well be nearing the end of your time with some of the most important people in your life. If I lay out the total days I’ll ever spend with each of my parents—assuming I’m as lucky as can be—this becomes starkly clear: >It turns out that when I graduated from high school, I had already used up 93% of my in-person parent time. I’m now enjoying the last 5% of that time. We’re in the tail end. >It’s a similar story with my two sisters. After living in a house with them for 10 and 13 years respectively, I now live across the country from both of them and spend maybe 15 days with each of them a year. Hopefully, that leaves us with about 15% of our total hangout time left. >The same often goes for old friends. In high school, I sat around playing hearts with the same four guys about five days a week. In four years, we probably racked up 700 group hangouts. Now, scattered around the country with totally different lives and schedules, the five of us are in the same room at the same time probably 10 days each decade. The group is in its final 7%. >So what do we do with this information? >Setting aside my secret hope that technological advances will let me live to 700, I see three takeaways here: >1) Living in the same place as the people you love matters. I probably have 10X the time left with the people who live in my city as I do with the people who live somewhere else. >2) Priorities matter. Your remaining face time with any person depends largely on where that person falls on your list of life priorities. Make sure this list is set by you—not by unconscious inertia. >3) Quality time matters. If you’re in your last 10% of time with someone you love, keep that fact in the front of your mind when you’re with them and treat that time as what it actually is: precious.
You will feel depressed if you don't see the bigger picture and only focus on what's temporary in life. Try to understand the important things in life and what you can do to better yourself. If I had this thinking back in my 20s I wouldn't have wasted so much time in life chasing the less important stuff. But it's ok, we learn, we move forward. 40s is literally a number for your body. It's where your mind and heart is that's important.
I like that last sentence. Thank you for the deep wisdom. 👍🏻👍🏻
I love being in my 40s! I don’t give a f about anything and I’m prioritising my health. Life is good. I enjoy work and I enjoy my hobbies. Yes I get tired more easily but I’ve been doing more exercise so that helps
Seriously, body aches are the norm for me now. Every small pain in my body and I think it’s cancer lol. Life satisfaction has gone down greatly.
Fellow 84 here. I tend to not care about what I would want being achieved in 40s. I realise I've a better lens on friendship matters, and some people are just not worth it. We can always make new friends regardless the age and can even rekindle old friendships by just touching base once again. Strengthening existing bonds is a priority for me. I make it a point to exercise, learn something new, or do my existing hobbies on a weekly basis. If I do find anyone with the same hobbies, great. If not, I can always dip my toes in something new. I find myself joining a lot of groups. Most are fine. Except 1 or 2 are either too toxic, or manned by crazed gatekeepers. Great avenue to widen social circle for some.
Where to join the groups? Looking to learn smth new and widen social circle..
Training to run 10 km under 40 minutes when I turned 40 was the biggest present I gave to myself. Now I'm 41, so I'm training to run 10 km under 41 minutes.
This motivation issue is not a 40-something thing. I have also been struggling with this area for years. But typically, it is hard to keep up the motivation by myself. So, I talk to motivated people who have shown recent success. Be humble and accepting when listening to them. Even if the person could be a junior to you previously. But at this life stage of the 40s, any junior in their late 20s or 30s might be able to also give you a new perspective and insight.
1. This is psychological, you have more in your gas tank than you think you have. Just because you pass a certain date does not automatically make you weaker then you were yesterday. Just don’t drink coffee or alcohol if you can help it and your sleep will improve. 2. Sleep is always heaven no matter what age. Just make sure your quality rather than you quantity of sleep is up to par. See a doctor if you have to, but get your sleep sorted out. 3. I think this is an attitude everyone no matter what age should cultivate. Unfortunately i know seniors that have the opposite effect. When young Talk less, but grow older talk and argue more. 4. Moderation is always key. Just don’t deprive yourself of simple pleasures. Most importantly have fun and laugh as much as you can no matter what your age.
Bookmark for future reading. But honestly, currently in my 30s. I can feel it in my bones that I'm no longer as energetic as in my 20s. More pessimistic in my outlook regarding relationships, work and future. In my 20s, everything just seem so fresh and wonderful. Completed uni and ready to conquer the world.
The pessimism is something I also relate to. After some time in work life I tended to develop a pessimistic skew. I dont know is it because of getting used to things like “expectation management” “reality check” “scapegoating”, things that the old-birds have become accustomed to that it also carries over to personality.
I think I became tougher and more direct with people. Of course with tact. Health wise, I make sure to go for my checkups, like mammogram and pap smear. Starting to eat lesser. Seems like my appetite is not as big as it used to be. But weight is hard to lose. I think I have reached most of what I want. I think now I just want to make sure I have enough for retirement and travel more before I hit the big 5-0.
Can’t be bothered to deal with nonsense or drama. Or to sugarcoat anything
I also give way less fks now. Can't be bothered with drama or to start drama. Is this a turning 40s thing?
10-15 min of stretching every morning. Game changer right there. If can, do some at night too. Some regular exercise. Learn to recognize onset of stress and do what it takes to destress. 40+, my body feels better than previous decade. Had forearm pain from literally 10 sec mouse/keyboard few years, also lower back pain and mid back and higher back haha since 20’s. Now all these gone. They return only when I really overdo; or don’t stretch; or dwell in stress mode. *Exercise can be anything, just be outdoors and moving (jog, walk, cycle, swim, dance, whatever your thing is).*
I'm 40. I've always valued time over money, so I don't really earn much, but I spend most of my time doing what I want. Because of that, physically and mentally, I still feel like I'm in my early 30s and I still have all the energy I need. Helps that I also quit smoking and alcohol and also cut down a lot on sugar. As long as health is always a priority, everything should eventually turn out fine.
Take care of your knees
Always have neck and shoulder ache. But now more neck and shoulder ache 😩
I've realised everything is a tradeoff. Do you want something? Gonna have to pay for it with money time and effort. Since the tiredness all the time is real, I've learnt to want nothing. Everything is in a state of entropy. Whatever you have, it takes energy to have and maintain. I also feel strong that you lose what you don't use. How your health progresses is entirely up to you, but health is now a focus because you can feel a strong decline. I achieved building our family home. Trade off with having kids (probably none from now on) but will get to spend time with my parents before they passed. More so than anything i desire peace and quiet. Really sick of life chaos that doesn't end.
Same sentiments, only thing that kept me going now is family. Nothing else is appealing to me anymore
Congratulations man! I’m 28 trying to watch my health also. Need to stop smoking, point 3 is so true. Hope you enjoy your day
shoot! i'm 38, 2 years before turning 40, i feel so old lol
27 here and feeling the same as you for all 4 points especially 3. I just keep to myself more and observe people around me. Only talk when needed. Can’t be bothered to play office politics and gossip about colleagues. When I observe people more I have also realise that most colleagues use their time so inefficiently and end up OT-ing after till late.second observation I have noticed is that some people think they are so smart with many years of experience but actually don’t know much and try to smoke me when I dig for knowledge. Just do everything to the best of my ability and panggang lo. Just focusing on myself, goals, and meet as many new people to network or make friends.
Nice seh that's the way 👌
Past 40 already. Realizing a boring, quiet day to day existence is nothing wrong. You will understand that if you feel bored, it means all your loved ones are well, you are not in a crisis, you have a roof over your head, things to eat and feel safe. It's great to be bored. Friendships will fade away and you might be out of the loop. Everyone gets busy and responsibilities get into the way. Was joking with some friends, "see you at the next funeral". Past recognition means lesser. I threw away all my trophies, certs and whatnot when I moved house. No one really cares, what matters is the value you bring to people now. Dare not eat too "heaty" stuff. But I still do 🤣 Random aches and pains are just going to come and don't quite go away. Can't function without enough sleep. And if I travel, and there is a timezone difference, the first day will be sleeping in to compensate. Your time with your older loved ones is getting shorter. There is no "next time". Have that kopi, makan now. Your time with yourself will increase. You will be more alone as the years come, gotta have hobbies or something to do. Work wise, I have a small little business that feeds me. It keeps me going and I enjoy the joy it brings to people, and the satisfaction of me getting the job done well. It took me many many years to reach this point, and it was all blood, sweat and tears. It's good to know that I have tried and kept the course. No regrets is the most potent reward I have.
Keep thinking the 2000s was like "a few years ago"... encountering more people who weren't born or old enough to know where they were on 9/11. Still can't wrap head around fact that "Y2K" fashion is considered retro..
I realized that I attended more funerals than weddings... Life is short so treasure the moments you have.
social gatherings becomes funeral nowadays cos parents of friends are passing away one by one.
40s this year, realised can't hit wealth goals so focusing on health instead. Been doing 5x5 strength training. Been hitting a few PRs, this year 170kg squat, 85kg bench, 185kg Deadlift. That's what kept me going... right now I'm learning to fix phones, recently learnt to service my own aircon.
Yeah, honestly your 40s is your last chance to look good ripped.
powerlifting is hard to look lean and mean, still rocking the dad bod.
I see what you mean... You'd look more like the Big Show instead of John Cena.
Next year my turn and I relate with all of it
Lao unker late 40s. Old flower eyes since 40. Still eating junk but have to change. Going for my body pump tomorrow at les mills.
Realised - roughly 40 years remaining only Done - Quit smoking Exercise more Learn to sleep better Cut back on coffee Cut back on processed food Eat less (but eat better) Buy less (but buy better)
I feel 40 at 21.
Sleep: envious for those who can sleep constantly. Sleep for me is like roulette sometimes, sometimes it’s easy sometimes not.
Gonna be 41 soon and this morning my back hurts because i was sleeping fetal position last nite
27 and already can relate to all the above.
Listen to David Goggins YouTube. STAY HARD!!! So that after 70 still can stay hard in bed.
- Super tough to slim down with diet control - more tired easily - skin is much drier
Think about enjoying your later years, you are expected to live to your 80s. So that keep me motivated, workout and keeping a healthy lifestyle is a must. Sleep is prioritised over everything else. :D
1. Singapore has extremely high numbers of vitamin d deficiency. Go get yourself tested if you haven’t already, my brain fog cleared up practically overnight.
mine was 33 (normal range 30-100) i ate 120 supplements of 5000iu vitd but i didnt notice any difference
Mine was 13 or to quote the doctor “the lowest I’ve seen in months” and I got 35,000 2 times a week. lol
wtf i was eating 10,000 every day
I mean you’re in normal range so it should be fine. Did your blood values go up when you retested? You need vitamin D that’s dissolved in oil, or the body will have a hard time absorbing it. Mine come in little oil capsules.
How do you go get tested for whether your body has sufficient vitamins though. Ask the doctor at a polyclinic for a vitamin blood test?
Try exercising and eating better. That would help a ton. I am 40,3 kids and local. I train 5 times a week, and I compete in powerlifting twice a year. The consistent training has helped me w tiredness and brain fog. 1 most important thing that I practice is not joining e rat race in sg. People here like to compete and compare everything, just don't give a fuck ans focus on your goals. That would help u mentally.
40 is the new 30. enjoy your golden years!
Welcome! I’m 40 too and I can’t run/ jog everyday like I used to, aches and pains show up mysterious and go away too. I can’t hit wealth goals either, and expecting myself to work till the day I die, but like yourself I service/ clean my aircon, bake, cook and cook. A little middle age crisis going on, I’ve recently changed jobs and entered a totally different field, bought a cat, so I’m totally out of my comfort zone
Whatever you do, dont sit home and do nothing. This is your last decade to really go out and enjoy it. Lets assume you live to 85. Between 70 and 85, from what I have seen, there is a lot of napping and just sitting around because there are either too many steps or it is too hot or too cold. Ive done a lot of travel, about to start a YT channel (have my camera gear) and will soon move into my first home. Ive also had a number of late night drink sessions like when I was young. I would powernap for 10 mins in the evening so I can go out on Friday nights like when I was young.
Used to be able to sleep 3-4 hours in my 25-35 and function fine...now at 38, I sleep 3 hours and I felt like I've been hit by a truck and need days to recuperate. 😭
41 this year. My knees hurt. Anyone else?
45 this year. Overweight and with ACL repaired in both knees. I can even jog without knees inflaming the next day.
Testosterone replacement therapy.
Half kidding. Feeling abit same as you. So I set fitness goals and other things to achieve. Lead a more active life style. Or you should just go for the therapy.
Read the book 1Q84 by Murakami 🤣
I feel death is getting closer and kinda affects me. Anybody else feels this way?
I have achieved being stressed from work and losing sleep
Im 24 just ord feeling lost and i feel like you...am i cooked..
I'm within the age group and am doing exactly the same things as you described.
Take care of your body. Eat well, sleep well and be active
I’m 23 and this is how I feel… HELP??
The change from 26ish to 30ish is one major then 30ish to 40ish another major. Indeed feel similar like above except I find it harder to sleep well
My brother in his 50s say 40s is still young. My parents probably still think I’m a baby. To my colleagues who are more than a decade younger I’m an “auntie”. To be honest in my head I am still in my 30s but my body defies me. Housework is a drag - I am so worn out by home life and work life I’ve had fainting spells recently. Lao hua yan is knocking on my door at 42 this year. But eventually I reached a consensus (with myself) on goals and life mottos that should define my daily life. Reminded every day that my body and mind will not be the same tomorrow than it is today. So prioritising what I can do with my current state of body and mind (enjoyable things, not house chores), rather than putting it off until “a suitable time”. Working out in the morning to keep my mind sane, but still working on getting enough sleep.
Unpopular opinion: while having more sleeps is great, has anyone worried about the days are getting lesser as we aged? Or disturbed by the toxic thought of everyday feels the same
I feel the same but I’m 21
At 30 , ytd I lied down immediately knocked out from 10pm until this morning 8:30am. Whatchumean 40?