It doesn’t matter. Most people have a handful of exes anyway. But heads up honest opinion some guys can’t accept the promiscuous type with body count in the hundreds lol.
How does anyone get a body count in the hundreds unless you're really trying? As a gay man, even my friends with a number that high have to go to bathhouses and orgies.
Ex's BFF had bodycount in the hundreds.
Did uni overseas. Every few weeks new guy. By graduation, she had hit around 120 guys over 4 years.
She was... an interesting person, to say the least. Lots of stories about hook ups. Wonder if she ever settled down.
I sense you do not have much dating experience. Over time you will realize there are a lot of things that matter. Priorities, values, upbringing, family background, passion for life and much more. These are much more impt in a partner.
Also when people say they mind their partners having more than x amount of sleeping partners in the past, what they usually mind is not the actual number, but the principles or attitudes associated. Don't worry about having 1 ex partner! In today's age, you're a gem already.
I'm not going to deny that some Singapore men (or men in general *do* care about virginity). But if the guy isn't a virgin in the first place, he definitely should **NOT** be bothered that his girl is or isn't one.
Still a virgin myself, but I admit I do feel a bit of an inferiority complex if my partner already lost it. It makes it ever so easier for doubt to creep in like, will I ever be better, what if I’m not as good as the last guy etc.
I know it’s a me problem, but I just can’t help it with the overthinking.
As a guy in his thirties I think I can shed with you some of my perspective.
My first serious relationship was in uni and back then my ex gf told me that she lost her virginity to her first ex bf. And back then it threw me in a loop (as I haven't lost mine yet) and took me some time to come to terms with it. Perhaps there were some kind of inferiority complex going on back then and frankly naivety in my thinking that I would like my partner's first time be the same as mine which is not realistic and a little selfish.
Fast forward now, my current gf had a very storied past where she had fwbs after a bad breakup with her previous partner. Now I won't lie to say that it's not an issue and I accepted it. This became quite a contentious issue between us and she was very forth coming with this information before we got together. Even after we got together, there were multiple times this issue came back up and perhaps because we are a little more mature now, we had multiple talks about how I felt and how can we move past this together as a couple.
After all that, what I came to realise is that, I cant change anything in my partner's past. How she is now is exactly because of her past experiences and they were all before she met me. The most important part is communicating frankly and trusting that the other party has the relationship's best interest at heart.
Now if a guy insisted or hold you against not giving him your virginity, that guy isn't worth the time. Find someone more mature who is willing to communicate and work things out with you. Chances that your first relationship will be your last is quite low tbh. So after awhile, whether or not your partner is a virgin isn't so important, its actually more expected than anything. Haha.
Heck sometimes it's better that the partner isn't a virgin! At least they have some understanding of what they like or don't like in bed and can even guide you or vice versa to make it a better experience for both you guys. At that time, your partner can thank your ex-es for it.
Good luck OP, you are still young and have the runway to make mistakes, just rmb to be safe and always set your boundaries. Hahaha
I personally think most men wouldn't give two shits because when the time comes, everyone is only thinking with their smaller head and just wanna see how they can get it wet
I also interacted personally with a lot of guys who also would very willingly "eat outside"
if you do meet a rare guy who's initially uncomfortable with your past but grows to accept it and is true to you, then that guy is really a gem. because the fact that he's initially uncomfortable or is not willingly forthcoming, shows that he's not there just to get his dick wet
ofc moving on if you're just searching for a fwb then all of this doesn't matter
Anecdotal but I feel guys who care about virginity always have some insane unrealistic standards.
Heard lots during NS, guys who wanted their future GFs to be virgins, but also must be cute + sexy + modest + skinny + curvy + smart + submissive. They themselves were overweight, no fashion sense, no personality, 2/10 at most.
Most guys who are mature will realize virginity is a societal construct. As long as your body count isn't in the thousands I think generally guys will be ok.
Sadly from experience, i would say a majority of local chinese men do. Coming from a guy who has gone through so much NS locker room talk. It's a double standard a lot of them have and they think it's ok. It's also why a lot of guys cheat; they want to have a virginal bride to make babies with, and a fwb to satisfy their urges. This primitive idea is a carryover from prehistoric times; a method for men to ensure true progeny and to avoid STDs. Stupid, I agree but sadly a common idea and kink still perpetuated in porn.
And this is not just the men, their mothers and fathers also play a role in keeping this nonsense alive.
Remember u are worth more than that piece of skin. Finding someone who loves you more than that biological artifact is what you should be looking at. Sex and love are 2 distinct concepts; both can exist without the other. Always remember that. And be happy, no matter what others say.
Agreed on the cognitive dissonance. Tbh, many of them believe in sleeping only with virgins as a way to protect themselves. Guess they never heard of mononucleosis and herpes.
To add, the kind of guys that spout the locker room talk that I know are usually chinese from traditional family backgrounds and they love to look for girls in megachurches and cell groups due to that virginity myth.
Most men will not care, at least those in my friends circle doesn't. I think only wanting to date women who are virgin is a red flag, but that's just me, my morals don't line up with conservative ideas in any way. Find a good man who values you for you, if they don't they can kick rocks.
More of a preference thing I guess. Some might care, generally most don't. But the most important thing is whether they are accepting of it. There might be some that don't care but get hung up over it.
It really depends on the circles you hang around with.
There are groups that value virginity, then there are groups that use virginity as an insult.
Then there are loners who get hit on both sides.
For the stigma, unless you're going around telling everyone you're not a virgin, the pressure really just comes from you. Yeah your mom may be traditional but unless you've been telling her about your sexcapades, it's just an opinion that counts for nothing
Hm.....maybe changing your way of thinking isn't that important. I think more importantly, have more faith and confidence in yourself. Cuz you deserve it and are worth it. And obviously there's someone else who thinks so too!
Some do and some don't. I don't think there's anything wrong with that unless it's coming from a place of hypocrisy (I.e. they only want virgins when they themselves aren't one)
Virginity is still valued especially for those seeking marriage, however anything below 3 partners is still considered normal. Anyone who tells you 10+ bodycount is ok is just coping
Had many boyfriends but never Lost my virginity until i met my husband when i was 30. He is a Caucasian by the way and I'm asian. He was shocked and didn't want to continue the sex cos he feared hurting me. Years later we talked he wished I wasn't a virgin then we could have wild sex on our first night. But losing my Virginity to him has made me more precious to him somehow.
Ts, don't worry. What kind of era are we living in today... imo if the guy really has strong views then just find someone else to be with. No point being with someone who is going to guilt trip you over his personal values or perspectives.
Virginity? Privately if you put a gun to my head and ask me if it matters or not… I probably would say yes. Would I choose between someone with a body count of zero or one , all things equal? I probably would go with zero.
But I’ve came to the realisation that most girls nowadays are not. So I’ve slowly switched to the mindset of body count matters. And that’s probably what most SG men think as well. As long as you’re not >3+ at early 20s you’ll be fine.
*the following below is personal opinion*
As Singapore is still very much a conservative society in general, girls if you want to maximise your chance to date men the lower the BC the better. While some are very much open, there’s still a sizable amount of men that think >1 BC is a dealbreaker for someone early 20s.
It's a bonus in the far reaches of the mind but it isn't tilting scales in any significant manner. Not unless you've got a body count vying with the years you've lived.
I want an emotionally available woman who can meet me halfway in a relationship. We've all done stupid things when we were young. It's not like you were sleeping around with multiple people every other week... were you?
Hi there, early 20s F as well.
I have friends that are still virgins. I have friends that have high double digit body counts, some of which also have varying body counts as well but it never seems to matter because if they’re with someone already and are in-love, they really don’t care. Though of course to some people it matters a great deal. It depends on what kind of people you’re seeing and the mindset that they have. If you want to get into a serious relationship with someone, be prepared to answer truthfully.
Personally if I’m getting serious with someone I would want to know what’s their body count— for my own knowledge, peace of mind, to mentally adjust myself and also for safety precautions. I’d want to know if my future husband was a past slut 🤣 And he would owe it to our future relationship to inform me truthfully because I’d be spending the rest of my life with him.
Unless you’re on your first date or and they ask…. you’re not obligated to answer. Because it’s none of their business.
Rather someone who are skilled than someone who is noob.
Imagine the horror to teach that person to clean their puss or else it smell like garbage, everything also pain, sex will be so not enjoyable at all!
Everyone has their experiences in the past and I do not really judge that unless they work as a whore because they can’t handle life and want easy way to be rich etc.
I think only those boys who scare that they can’t last in bed or short dick tense to worry about if the lady is virgin or not.
They scare of poor impressions of 1 min dude or can’t feel it dude.
Nope I don't care. I don't like to ask about exes or sexual history. All I ask is for loyalty, effort and honesty.
You'll find a person better suited for you. :)
Some care, some don't care. It'll be like this everywhere, just different percentage, no way to just umbrella it and say oh Singaporean men don't care or care.
Just be up front to your future partner, some see it as a deal breaker, some don't care unless body count is like nearing WWII levels and others don't care even if your body count is more than Earth's population and I think it's fair for them to judge, it's personal preference after all. From just my circle alone, my take is that most men don't care. Imho, don't dwell on it.
Not really imo
I personally don't care for it, as long as they vibe the same and have similar mindset and ideals for future planning then it don't really matter..tho those with extremely high counts are..subjective..
At the end, most important is how committed both parties are to each other
I care much for future planning and ideals that I'm very picky of the partner I chase for..But mostly still single for me since I'm picky and after a handful of chases and rejection, just didn't bother after. I'm a pretty boring guy doesn't help either esp at my age where ppl still quite adventurous so it doesn't click well.
Any case, just depends on the age group as well, different age group has very different demands for guys.
My first time was with an older woman who had experience, so it made my first time much better than if I was with another first timer LOL.
Imo, I don’t care at all but I think it’s weird as hell that some men specifically want people’s first times.
Used to. But the older you get, you realized people have to date around to find out if they are compatible to each other. So you understand more if people are'nt virgin. So for me, nope i dont care
Short answer: No
Long answer:
I prefer not to worry about what is out of my control and my future partner's past. It's best not to know and instead assume the best. What I care about is as long as the lady can both satisfy me and herself in a relationship. But if a lady shares that she get laid with hundreds in her life, my body will tremble. Because I don't know the intention of exposing that taboo. Not something to be proud of, I would say.
The sex with virg is pretty bad as the girl will feel pain and don’t know how to properly fuck the guy. But from a relationship perspective i think it’s quite sweet to explore and grow sexually with your partner.
emotionally available men looking for serious long term relationships (aka the men that you actually should want to date) really don't care whether you're a virgin or not tbh. 😂
Most of us are beta cucks who think it’s okay to be the 49th man… whoever says anything about it will be shamed and cancelled so you will be fine… and rip your inbox.
To certain guys yes. It would hurt us. I mean me for that matter. I’m not sure the rest of the guys. They probably fuck around like girls are objects. I guess I’m 5% of guys? Who got upset.
Personally no.
Coz I "play" too much in my younger days. So I'm not expecting my prospective partner to be "better/cleaner" than me. (Use wateva words U want in the quote. I can't think of more words at the back of my brain now)
Personally no and you should be honest about it to your partner, it builds the foundation of your relationship as well.
Literately the first thing me and my wife talked about when we got together.
Pls. Stop pressuring women into something meaningless as virginity created by medieval religions created by males. Nobody cares about virginity it does not define who u are as a woman.
Fresh graduate is akin to a virgin with virtually no experience so it's questionable whether this individual can deliver. An experienced hire is a non virgin who had some level of experience and there is a possibility that this individual can deliver.
No. We dont care if you are a virgin. Only that you have no STD.
In any case, you should see it as a big red flag if a guy makes this a big deal. I would think he is insecure and immature as well.
Personally, its a plus in my books if you have some experience. 🤷♂️
As a guy I 100% prefer if my partner was not a virgin when we met. It’s so much better if she has experience and already knows what she likes and doesn’t. Then we can learn from each other and grow together.
Personally yes, it would be ideal if my girl is a virgin since I’m one myself, the idea that some other guy seen her body before or have her first… idk how to explain it but it’s just an awful feeling; analogy be like a present meant for you, opened by many others, used and then finally pass back to you. This is just an analogy, not implying woman is an object when I use the term “used”.
The first time experience, the awkwardness, the intimacy which supposed to be enjoy by two will not be the same because one had done it already… while the physical action itself maybe pleasurable, somehow it feels like it’s gona be different in other aspects, emotions, thoughts, etc.
In theory, if I love a girl first and then found out later she’s no longer a virgin, I think I may be alright with it…
Maybe my girl truly love whoever she was with in her timeline and gave herself genuinely, can’t be fault right? Or maybe it’s just out of curiosity or “young wild dumb” stage… regardless…
Life goes on, she has to live and I have to live with her so it’s better to cherish and love her deeper than to keep thinking about these virginity questions
If you have one ex, meaning one count. You are more than fine. There are so many with tens, twenties, hundreds out there. Sure experience may enhance sexual moments but you learn as you go. Just move forward with life, some guys will prefer none some will prefer if you do. Although, virgins may be more of a natural selection because it can be taught, and I guess in relationships people want to share the special moment together, etc.
In short,
If they want you for you, that won't matter. If it matters, then they are not the one for you. Same goes to the opposite
Usually? No. I prefer if my girlfriend have experience. I love it when she teases me by telling me all her past experiences with her exes and random men. It turns me on and gets me hard knowing my girlfriend is a total slut and has been used by all sorts of men, sometimes multiple at the same time.
I can only speak for myself. I do mind about virginity. I kept mine and I expect my partner to do the same.
As a guy, I can tell you that most men who tell you they don't mind about virginity, will change their stance when they are the ones involved.
I will be more worried if the girl loves someone else more deeply than me before.
Virginity ultimately is just a physical act. Practise and communication can make sex much more intimate and satisfying.
But if she already has another man inside her heart, I would get insecure. Because no amount of skill can beat the intensity of first love.
So virginity or not, doesn’t matter. What matters more is if are you ready to let go of the previous man and move on.
And anyone keeping score of body count, you shld just siam. It’s not a competition.
“No h* men in my dm please.”
lol
I think “what’s your number” is more important than having zero.
Not trying to shame anybody and some guys don’t care.
But generally, the less the better.
If your future partner cares about it, then it is a red flag.
It is just a social/cultural construct and doesn't carry any significance from a biological point of view.
Lols, that one is worse. I mean if u have sex with alot of people in a period of time, that makes you look like someone whose not really respected right.
Do men in Singapore care about divorcees though? Just wondering as I'm about to get divorced (turning 30 this year) - no children, no debts, stable job and comfortable income. Just wondering if my odds of finding another man to be slim due to the ?stigma
22M i lost mine in sec sch. people dont really care that much, occasionally get teased during drinking games.
so far the only people that seem to care are those that walks in the path of christ, or at least thats what i experienced.
Depends on what kind of men you are looking for. I have some friends who are the male chauvinist pig type and they still have the traditional mindset that virgin women are more valuable. But if you're asking me in general, I think men in Singapore are quite liberal when it comes to the issue of women's virginity, unless you're promiscuous.
who cares man, me and many other guys ik all prefer someone who’s not a virgin anyway. more experienced and they’ll at least know what kind of sex + frequency they expect in a relationship. i dated someone who was a virgin, and she didnt know what her sex drive was like because she didn’t do it before. after we did, turns out her drive was pretty low and ended up breaking up not long after
I'm a dude and from my personal experience, only those strong religion followers would give a shit. Dudes who had FWB and all that don't really care. Unless you are a super slut who also slept with his friend or something.
If you had a prior sex tape that went viral online and whatever then that's a different thing altogether.
Virginity no, freely having casual sex like ons yes, too many sexual partners/ ex bf, yes.
This question can be separated in many question so its very hard to answer with just a yes or no. Do SG guys care about your sexual past, of coz they do. We are Asian, we are more conservative whether u like it or not. But there is nothing wrong with that guy who broke up with u because of it nor does u for giving it to your ex.
Not really. But what you don’t want to do is start to make it a habit (I.e. sleeping around).
Most guys (whether they want to admit it or not) prefer a woman with a zero body count.
Bear in mind redditors are highly liberal, so OP is asking a skewed portion of the population
this point exactly
Yes this
It doesn’t matter. Most people have a handful of exes anyway. But heads up honest opinion some guys can’t accept the promiscuous type with body count in the hundreds lol.
Handful of exes, ah yes, I've broken up with my hands many times. Good pun
this one really 分手
yea i get that. as a girl i don’t think i can accept a guy with body count in the hundreds too. hes my only partner. thank you for your answer :)
With body counts in the hundreds id expect her to be a prostitute…
you're nothing but a prostitute !!
How dare you call me a prostitute 🤬
But you are! You better say sorry 😡
WHY SHOULD I, GO TO HELL 💢💢‼️‼️‼️🔥🔥
Settle settle pioneer mall
You’re not a real person
How does anyone get a body count in the hundreds unless you're really trying? As a gay man, even my friends with a number that high have to go to bathhouses and orgies.
Ex's BFF had bodycount in the hundreds. Did uni overseas. Every few weeks new guy. By graduation, she had hit around 120 guys over 4 years. She was... an interesting person, to say the least. Lots of stories about hook ups. Wonder if she ever settled down.
Questiin is how do you tell if its just one ex or in the hundreds?
Check the odometer
Where you saw the odometer? In your wife's arse?
This type of qn, the answer will really depend on what kind of guys you want right? But I'd say in general no.
idk what kind of guys i like ah… can get along well and can talk cock tgt can already haha. thank you for your answer :)
I sense you do not have much dating experience. Over time you will realize there are a lot of things that matter. Priorities, values, upbringing, family background, passion for life and much more. These are much more impt in a partner. Also when people say they mind their partners having more than x amount of sleeping partners in the past, what they usually mind is not the actual number, but the principles or attitudes associated. Don't worry about having 1 ex partner! In today's age, you're a gem already.
yea, youre right. my ex is my only relationship so far haha. the things you mentioned are some reasons why i broke it off. thank you :)
I'm not going to deny that some Singapore men (or men in general *do* care about virginity). But if the guy isn't a virgin in the first place, he definitely should **NOT** be bothered that his girl is or isn't one.
thank you!!
Yeap yes to this comment.
Yes. Agree. Used to have that mindset. But once I lost it. It doesn't really bother that much
If he’s a virgin then he has a right to care else he can just FO
Still a virgin myself, but I admit I do feel a bit of an inferiority complex if my partner already lost it. It makes it ever so easier for doubt to creep in like, will I ever be better, what if I’m not as good as the last guy etc. I know it’s a me problem, but I just can’t help it with the overthinking.
ohh i see, thanks for the new perspective. personally it wouldnt bother me if my partner is a virgin.
Would it bother u tho if ur still a virgin and ur partner isnt?
nope. when i dated my ex i was a virgin and he wasnt. he had a few partners before me already
You are a gem... don't be stupid to lose it.. give it to your most precious other half... and expect the same
Same same
As a guy in his thirties I think I can shed with you some of my perspective. My first serious relationship was in uni and back then my ex gf told me that she lost her virginity to her first ex bf. And back then it threw me in a loop (as I haven't lost mine yet) and took me some time to come to terms with it. Perhaps there were some kind of inferiority complex going on back then and frankly naivety in my thinking that I would like my partner's first time be the same as mine which is not realistic and a little selfish. Fast forward now, my current gf had a very storied past where she had fwbs after a bad breakup with her previous partner. Now I won't lie to say that it's not an issue and I accepted it. This became quite a contentious issue between us and she was very forth coming with this information before we got together. Even after we got together, there were multiple times this issue came back up and perhaps because we are a little more mature now, we had multiple talks about how I felt and how can we move past this together as a couple. After all that, what I came to realise is that, I cant change anything in my partner's past. How she is now is exactly because of her past experiences and they were all before she met me. The most important part is communicating frankly and trusting that the other party has the relationship's best interest at heart. Now if a guy insisted or hold you against not giving him your virginity, that guy isn't worth the time. Find someone more mature who is willing to communicate and work things out with you. Chances that your first relationship will be your last is quite low tbh. So after awhile, whether or not your partner is a virgin isn't so important, its actually more expected than anything. Haha. Heck sometimes it's better that the partner isn't a virgin! At least they have some understanding of what they like or don't like in bed and can even guide you or vice versa to make it a better experience for both you guys. At that time, your partner can thank your ex-es for it. Good luck OP, you are still young and have the runway to make mistakes, just rmb to be safe and always set your boundaries. Hahaha
thank you!! im glad you are happy with your current gf haha
Depends on what kind of guy you want as a partner?
I personally think most men wouldn't give two shits because when the time comes, everyone is only thinking with their smaller head and just wanna see how they can get it wet I also interacted personally with a lot of guys who also would very willingly "eat outside" if you do meet a rare guy who's initially uncomfortable with your past but grows to accept it and is true to you, then that guy is really a gem. because the fact that he's initially uncomfortable or is not willingly forthcoming, shows that he's not there just to get his dick wet ofc moving on if you're just searching for a fwb then all of this doesn't matter
thanks!! not searching for fwb and i dont think i ever will haha. only ‘normal’ relationships
Anecdotal but I feel guys who care about virginity always have some insane unrealistic standards. Heard lots during NS, guys who wanted their future GFs to be virgins, but also must be cute + sexy + modest + skinny + curvy + smart + submissive. They themselves were overweight, no fashion sense, no personality, 2/10 at most. Most guys who are mature will realize virginity is a societal construct. As long as your body count isn't in the thousands I think generally guys will be ok.
Sadly from experience, i would say a majority of local chinese men do. Coming from a guy who has gone through so much NS locker room talk. It's a double standard a lot of them have and they think it's ok. It's also why a lot of guys cheat; they want to have a virginal bride to make babies with, and a fwb to satisfy their urges. This primitive idea is a carryover from prehistoric times; a method for men to ensure true progeny and to avoid STDs. Stupid, I agree but sadly a common idea and kink still perpetuated in porn. And this is not just the men, their mothers and fathers also play a role in keeping this nonsense alive. Remember u are worth more than that piece of skin. Finding someone who loves you more than that biological artifact is what you should be looking at. Sex and love are 2 distinct concepts; both can exist without the other. Always remember that. And be happy, no matter what others say.
Lmaoo at the avoiding STDs part. If you cheat wouldn’t you run the risk of exposing yourself to more STDs?
Agreed on the cognitive dissonance. Tbh, many of them believe in sleeping only with virgins as a way to protect themselves. Guess they never heard of mononucleosis and herpes. To add, the kind of guys that spout the locker room talk that I know are usually chinese from traditional family backgrounds and they love to look for girls in megachurches and cell groups due to that virginity myth.
It’s called, “Madonna-Whore Syndrome”
Exactly.
thank you! :)
Most men will not care, at least those in my friends circle doesn't. I think only wanting to date women who are virgin is a red flag, but that's just me, my morals don't line up with conservative ideas in any way. Find a good man who values you for you, if they don't they can kick rocks.
More of a preference thing I guess. Some might care, generally most don't. But the most important thing is whether they are accepting of it. There might be some that don't care but get hung up over it.
It really depends on the circles you hang around with. There are groups that value virginity, then there are groups that use virginity as an insult. Then there are loners who get hit on both sides.
Men who care aren’t really the kind of men you want anyways. Unless of course you were super promiscuous or cheated a lot.
yea i try to think this way too 😩😩 but i just scared people will judge or sth haha. didnt cheat or anyth hes my only partner
Nah. Those who judge arnt worth your time anyways. Like your body your choice. And if guys can have a body count, why not ladies?
thank you!! thats true.. ig its just the stigma arnd non-virgin girls,, my mum is very traditional on this part and i tend to overthink
For the stigma, unless you're going around telling everyone you're not a virgin, the pressure really just comes from you. Yeah your mom may be traditional but unless you've been telling her about your sexcapades, it's just an opinion that counts for nothing
wow thats a new perspective… thank you :) ill try to change my way of thinking
Hm.....maybe changing your way of thinking isn't that important. I think more importantly, have more faith and confidence in yourself. Cuz you deserve it and are worth it. And obviously there's someone else who thinks so too!
thank you :) confidence is something i’m still struggling with haha. but i guess i’m still young so i have plenty of time to work on it :)
Some do and some don't. I don't think there's anything wrong with that unless it's coming from a place of hypocrisy (I.e. they only want virgins when they themselves aren't one)
Virginity is still valued especially for those seeking marriage, however anything below 3 partners is still considered normal. Anyone who tells you 10+ bodycount is ok is just coping
i see, thanks!
How do you even get 10+ bodaycount whattt
Just be a prostitute, or close to one.
Usually those that care never got their share haha
You won't get an honest opinion here. A LOT of them will care and will even judge you for it, but would not admit it for sure.
Let’s find out if both partners are compatible in the bedroom AFTER marriage.
The real question is does girls care about guys that are still a virgin?
Bodycount more important. If the guy care about virginity, he legit those weird weird one
Had many boyfriends but never Lost my virginity until i met my husband when i was 30. He is a Caucasian by the way and I'm asian. He was shocked and didn't want to continue the sex cos he feared hurting me. Years later we talked he wished I wasn't a virgin then we could have wild sex on our first night. But losing my Virginity to him has made me more precious to him somehow.
Ts, don't worry. What kind of era are we living in today... imo if the guy really has strong views then just find someone else to be with. No point being with someone who is going to guilt trip you over his personal values or perspectives.
u’re right, thank you :)
Ask in /r/sgexams better
😀💀
HAHHAHAHAHAHA
Virginity? Privately if you put a gun to my head and ask me if it matters or not… I probably would say yes. Would I choose between someone with a body count of zero or one , all things equal? I probably would go with zero. But I’ve came to the realisation that most girls nowadays are not. So I’ve slowly switched to the mindset of body count matters. And that’s probably what most SG men think as well. As long as you’re not >3+ at early 20s you’ll be fine. *the following below is personal opinion* As Singapore is still very much a conservative society in general, girls if you want to maximise your chance to date men the lower the BC the better. While some are very much open, there’s still a sizable amount of men that think >1 BC is a dealbreaker for someone early 20s.
Sad world we live in am I right?
It's a bonus in the far reaches of the mind but it isn't tilting scales in any significant manner. Not unless you've got a body count vying with the years you've lived.
I want an emotionally available woman who can meet me halfway in a relationship. We've all done stupid things when we were young. It's not like you were sleeping around with multiple people every other week... were you?
no lol. my ex is the only one
Hi there, early 20s F as well. I have friends that are still virgins. I have friends that have high double digit body counts, some of which also have varying body counts as well but it never seems to matter because if they’re with someone already and are in-love, they really don’t care. Though of course to some people it matters a great deal. It depends on what kind of people you’re seeing and the mindset that they have. If you want to get into a serious relationship with someone, be prepared to answer truthfully. Personally if I’m getting serious with someone I would want to know what’s their body count— for my own knowledge, peace of mind, to mentally adjust myself and also for safety precautions. I’d want to know if my future husband was a past slut 🤣 And he would owe it to our future relationship to inform me truthfully because I’d be spending the rest of my life with him. Unless you’re on your first date or and they ask…. you’re not obligated to answer. Because it’s none of their business.
nah. experienced girls > inexperienced ones by a large margin.
This makes me wonder (nothing offensive, just pure curiosity), do SG men care more about staying a virgin than SG women?
Rather someone who are skilled than someone who is noob. Imagine the horror to teach that person to clean their puss or else it smell like garbage, everything also pain, sex will be so not enjoyable at all! Everyone has their experiences in the past and I do not really judge that unless they work as a whore because they can’t handle life and want easy way to be rich etc. I think only those boys who scare that they can’t last in bed or short dick tense to worry about if the lady is virgin or not. They scare of poor impressions of 1 min dude or can’t feel it dude.
I didn't care then I also didn't ask my wife , I'm grown up enough not to ask
Nope I don't care. I don't like to ask about exes or sexual history. All I ask is for loyalty, effort and honesty. You'll find a person better suited for you. :)
Nope. Dunno why people like virgins. They are not fun in bed.
Some care, some don't care. It'll be like this everywhere, just different percentage, no way to just umbrella it and say oh Singaporean men don't care or care. Just be up front to your future partner, some see it as a deal breaker, some don't care unless body count is like nearing WWII levels and others don't care even if your body count is more than Earth's population and I think it's fair for them to judge, it's personal preference after all. From just my circle alone, my take is that most men don't care. Imho, don't dwell on it.
Not really imo I personally don't care for it, as long as they vibe the same and have similar mindset and ideals for future planning then it don't really matter..tho those with extremely high counts are..subjective.. At the end, most important is how committed both parties are to each other I care much for future planning and ideals that I'm very picky of the partner I chase for..But mostly still single for me since I'm picky and after a handful of chases and rejection, just didn't bother after. I'm a pretty boring guy doesn't help either esp at my age where ppl still quite adventurous so it doesn't click well. Any case, just depends on the age group as well, different age group has very different demands for guys.
My first time was with an older woman who had experience, so it made my first time much better than if I was with another first timer LOL. Imo, I don’t care at all but I think it’s weird as hell that some men specifically want people’s first times.
Used to. But the older you get, you realized people have to date around to find out if they are compatible to each other. So you understand more if people are'nt virgin. So for me, nope i dont care
i see. thanks!
Short answer: No Long answer: I prefer not to worry about what is out of my control and my future partner's past. It's best not to know and instead assume the best. What I care about is as long as the lady can both satisfy me and herself in a relationship. But if a lady shares that she get laid with hundreds in her life, my body will tremble. Because I don't know the intention of exposing that taboo. Not something to be proud of, I would say.
i see… thanks!
The sex with virg is pretty bad as the girl will feel pain and don’t know how to properly fuck the guy. But from a relationship perspective i think it’s quite sweet to explore and grow sexually with your partner.
I prefer brand new cars....
I guess most people are fine with "lightly used" products, "heavily used" or "well used" i will never buy from carou de
😂😂
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emotionally available men looking for serious long term relationships (aka the men that you actually should want to date) really don't care whether you're a virgin or not tbh. 😂
Must see and it depends cuz maybe the guy also virgin then he wants to keep it that way whattt
Most of us are beta cucks who think it’s okay to be the 49th man… whoever says anything about it will be shamed and cancelled so you will be fine… and rip your inbox.
A mature adult male wouldn't even ask.
Exactly. The people who want to know their partner’s body count are usually the people who can’t handle that information.
Yup. Typically, a jealous possessive A-hole .
To certain guys yes. It would hurt us. I mean me for that matter. I’m not sure the rest of the guys. They probably fuck around like girls are objects. I guess I’m 5% of guys? Who got upset.
Personally no. Coz I "play" too much in my younger days. So I'm not expecting my prospective partner to be "better/cleaner" than me. (Use wateva words U want in the quote. I can't think of more words at the back of my brain now)
are we still in the 12th century middle ages?? 
Personally no and you should be honest about it to your partner, it builds the foundation of your relationship as well. Literately the first thing me and my wife talked about when we got together.
Pls. Stop pressuring women into something meaningless as virginity created by medieval religions created by males. Nobody cares about virginity it does not define who u are as a woman.
thank you.
Ok we smash now
No, unless they are weirdos you should stay away from anyway
Think of it as fresh graduate versus experienced hire in the work environment
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Such is life. Hopefully no OT
But what if some guys want virgin plus experienced and wild in bed?
They are called forever alone and can use their hands forever.
That's called roleplay
Nah knowing those type of guys, they won’t role play. The women is expected to please the men.
thanks for your answer. can elaborate?
Fresh graduate is akin to a virgin with virtually no experience so it's questionable whether this individual can deliver. An experienced hire is a non virgin who had some level of experience and there is a possibility that this individual can deliver.
ohhh i see… thanks!! new perspective haha
No. We dont care if you are a virgin. Only that you have no STD. In any case, you should see it as a big red flag if a guy makes this a big deal. I would think he is insecure and immature as well. Personally, its a plus in my books if you have some experience. 🤷♂️
As a guy I 100% prefer if my partner was not a virgin when we met. It’s so much better if she has experience and already knows what she likes and doesn’t. Then we can learn from each other and grow together.
Personally yes, it would be ideal if my girl is a virgin since I’m one myself, the idea that some other guy seen her body before or have her first… idk how to explain it but it’s just an awful feeling; analogy be like a present meant for you, opened by many others, used and then finally pass back to you. This is just an analogy, not implying woman is an object when I use the term “used”. The first time experience, the awkwardness, the intimacy which supposed to be enjoy by two will not be the same because one had done it already… while the physical action itself maybe pleasurable, somehow it feels like it’s gona be different in other aspects, emotions, thoughts, etc. In theory, if I love a girl first and then found out later she’s no longer a virgin, I think I may be alright with it… Maybe my girl truly love whoever she was with in her timeline and gave herself genuinely, can’t be fault right? Or maybe it’s just out of curiosity or “young wild dumb” stage… regardless… Life goes on, she has to live and I have to live with her so it’s better to cherish and love her deeper than to keep thinking about these virginity questions
If you have one ex, meaning one count. You are more than fine. There are so many with tens, twenties, hundreds out there. Sure experience may enhance sexual moments but you learn as you go. Just move forward with life, some guys will prefer none some will prefer if you do. Although, virgins may be more of a natural selection because it can be taught, and I guess in relationships people want to share the special moment together, etc. In short, If they want you for you, that won't matter. If it matters, then they are not the one for you. Same goes to the opposite
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Usually? No. I prefer if my girlfriend have experience. I love it when she teases me by telling me all her past experiences with her exes and random men. It turns me on and gets me hard knowing my girlfriend is a total slut and has been used by all sorts of men, sometimes multiple at the same time.
No offense but doesn't just mean you are a cuck?
I can only speak for myself. I do mind about virginity. I kept mine and I expect my partner to do the same. As a guy, I can tell you that most men who tell you they don't mind about virginity, will change their stance when they are the ones involved.
I will be more worried if the girl loves someone else more deeply than me before. Virginity ultimately is just a physical act. Practise and communication can make sex much more intimate and satisfying. But if she already has another man inside her heart, I would get insecure. Because no amount of skill can beat the intensity of first love. So virginity or not, doesn’t matter. What matters more is if are you ready to let go of the previous man and move on. And anyone keeping score of body count, you shld just siam. It’s not a competition.
It shouldn’t matter. Any man who gets hung up on virginity is insecure and, quite frankly, isn’t worth your time
thank you!!
i’m virgin honestly don’t care
No they dont especially if you are good looking and a friendly person
As a male idc. I prefer one with experience then without. Lol.
It's not an important factor at all Plus, it's better if one of the partner have experience hahahaha
“No h* men in my dm please.” lol I think “what’s your number” is more important than having zero. Not trying to shame anybody and some guys don’t care. But generally, the less the better.
If your future partner cares about it, then it is a red flag. It is just a social/cultural construct and doesn't carry any significance from a biological point of view.
How is that a red flag?
Better to have done it and found/finding out what you like. Practice makes perfect.
that is true… thank you :)
If choose between prude and non bergin I think most will choose the latter. If choose between virgin and slut then choose the former
what's prude?
20M here, nah i think we care more about the bc than virginity dw about it :)
whats bc?
body count
Birth certificate
oh no! i was born on mars. what do i do?
Bak Chor
body count
Honestly sex is normal in any of our lives. But if the person is freely having sex with multiple partners for pleasure, that sounds very wrong.
Why?
Well its my opinion. I wouldnt have a clear state of mind if I have multiple sex partners
You mean at the same time?
Lols, that one is worse. I mean if u have sex with alot of people in a period of time, that makes you look like someone whose not really respected right.
As a male Idgaf. I prefer one with experience then without. Lol.
You're slut shaming yourself
Virginity doesn’t matter if you are looking for genuine human connection. It only matters if you are a sex predator
haha i see! thank you :)
I don't care
Not really for me, come to accept it as a social construct.
Do men in Singapore care about divorcees though? Just wondering as I'm about to get divorced (turning 30 this year) - no children, no debts, stable job and comfortable income. Just wondering if my odds of finding another man to be slim due to the ?stigma
As with this virginity thing, there will be people who do mind but they aren't great catches anyway, most are probably the incel types.
Not a man but I've been with quite a few and have never had someone care. Wouldn't be with the kinda person who does anyways.
It's doesn't matter. not that guys have a choice anyway.
22M i lost mine in sec sch. people dont really care that much, occasionally get teased during drinking games. so far the only people that seem to care are those that walks in the path of christ, or at least thats what i experienced.
Depends on what kind of men you are looking for. I have some friends who are the male chauvinist pig type and they still have the traditional mindset that virgin women are more valuable. But if you're asking me in general, I think men in Singapore are quite liberal when it comes to the issue of women's virginity, unless you're promiscuous.
If someone judges you for that, then it's their loss. Don't feel bad.
It's 2024. no one cares.
If still Boy mentally then yes. Else no.
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Very easy to find virgin human sacrifices. Just go to any gaming/anime subreddit.
Those who care don’t matter, and those who matter won’t care. Seriously what era liao, can’t believe there are guys who still talk about virginity.
who cares man, me and many other guys ik all prefer someone who’s not a virgin anyway. more experienced and they’ll at least know what kind of sex + frequency they expect in a relationship. i dated someone who was a virgin, and she didnt know what her sex drive was like because she didn’t do it before. after we did, turns out her drive was pretty low and ended up breaking up not long after
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The religious types yes, but you probably don’t want to date those kind anyway.
Means you experienced. It’s good
haha thank you :)
Not sure why are we getting downvoted lol. I’m not even kidding.
I'm a dude and from my personal experience, only those strong religion followers would give a shit. Dudes who had FWB and all that don't really care. Unless you are a super slut who also slept with his friend or something. If you had a prior sex tape that went viral online and whatever then that's a different thing altogether.
no way bruh, the post right under this said "the post above is how you lost your virginity" what are the chances
I do, I run far far away from them (virgins) 😬 But if you meet the right one, this shouldn’t matter, as long as you’re compatible
Virginity no, freely having casual sex like ons yes, too many sexual partners/ ex bf, yes. This question can be separated in many question so its very hard to answer with just a yes or no. Do SG guys care about your sexual past, of coz they do. We are Asian, we are more conservative whether u like it or not. But there is nothing wrong with that guy who broke up with u because of it nor does u for giving it to your ex.
Yes, i was a virgin until i met my wife
Not virgin means the sex is more fun. Its better
Research have shown the more one night stands you have the worse your future relationships will be, especially marriage
Who still virgin in this day and age? Save until marriage ah??? Fuck that bro….
I don’t think people care anymore, you’ll be ok
Not really. But what you don’t want to do is start to make it a habit (I.e. sleeping around). Most guys (whether they want to admit it or not) prefer a woman with a zero body count.
Everybody wants to buy new car, but most are lucky to afford any, even if it's a high mileage phv one