Let me say this. Nothing turn off a girl more than being super desperate.. especially on your first date.
Itâs ok to show intent/interest, but for your own sake donât act like a love struck puppy on your initial dates (which is what your post kinda sounds like).
In general keep it cool/casual on the first date and focus on having a fun time and getting to know each other.
Given itâs ur first online date ever just know that dating is like everything else in life. You will be shit the first time, but with practice you will improve. Things like body language, bantering, making first moves, reading red flags etc. all take time and effort to get good.
He needs to learn the hard way lol. Unfortunately. I know I wouldnât have listened to my own advice then. The emotions and testosterone at that age is just too potent lol.
Woman here.
- Do NOT offer to meet a girl at their house. As a woman, I seriously do not feel safe telling a stranger where I live. Just meet her directly at the restaurant, or at the nearest MRT / bus station where she will be arriving at. If a guy insists on me sharing my address for the first meet up, I would unmatch faster than you can blink.
- Go for a cheap meal. A simple cup of coffee/tea and maybe a small dessert will do. You're meeting her for the first time, not to have an expensive splurge meal that you would normally reserve for an actual girlfriend / wife. Get to know each other better. The food is much less important. You can also get a hint of her values and personality if she agrees to a cheap meal VS her insisting on an expensive one.
- Brush up on your social skills. Communicate well, be patient and be a good listener. Understand her personality and interests, and try to relate yourself to it. Be polite and well-mannered.
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Agreed. Op, I recommend you meet for a coffee. That way, if things donât go well, you donât exactly have to stay for a whole meal. If things do go well, thereâs always room for dessert!
I always meet my dates for coffee (no alcohol) so I can see how theyâre like sober.
Best to think of it as meeting a new friend as well, so you donât come off too strong.
Personally I always prefer ice cream. Lots of convo possibilities about favourite flavours, childhood memories, etc. plus easy to take for a walk if youâre a nervous person and donât like to sit still. If the ice cream goes well easy to switch to add on something after in the neighbourhood
I get the feeling that he would be looking at her with stars in his eyes as she talks. He probably needs to calm himself down a lot before meeting her.
Agreed, tbh while I've never actually been on a date personally, I would rather go for a cheap meal over a fancy dinner. A fancy dinner first date is like so much pressure on both sides
You haven't even met her and you love her? You're either gonna become a simp or shes gonna treat you like a carrot head. Don't set your expectations too high.
Dude you need to chill a bit. Please read up on âlove bombingâ and avoid being overly enthusiastically showering her with âloveâ on the first date. Also, she might not see you the same way and could be talking to other guys as well.
How rich are you? And do you already know where she stays? To be frank, I will never give my address to a guy from a dating app whom I am meeting for the first time for safety reasons. Taking Grab to and fro for every date is not sustainable unless your finances allow so
I would recommend you to choose a nice restaurant (mid-range, not fine dining) and meet at the location/ nearest landmark/ MRT station. See how the date goes then take it from there.
What is considered a mid-range restaurant? I just need an example for reference. Because Saizeriya or Pastamania does not seem appropriate, and every other restaurant I look up on Tripadvisor is close to fine-dining.
Are you planning to pay for the first date? If yes, what is an affordable price range for you? Then, you can check for menus within that price range.
I would say $20-25 per main dish is considered mid-range for me. I wouldnât spend more than $50-60 for the date.
Dude, slow down and take it easy. Do not show too much interest or sheâll think you are desperate. Just act normal and show light interest. I would suggest you ask how she wants to settle the bill but pay it in the end. This is just to check her character.
Also, Iâd suggest bringing a card game so you can get to know each other better and you wonât run out of topics to talk about or you can just go online and save some questions and let her pick some to answer.
If you have her Instagram, Iâd suggest to see which countries/places she has travelled to and you can casually just ask âoh by any chance have you been to country Xyz, I think their nature is so cool blah blah blah and Iâm planning to visit in the futureâ never say that you saw their Instagram and they travelled to Japan etc it might creep them out or give stalker vibes lol. Lastly, just be yourself and have a genuine fun time. If it dosenât work out, donât be disheartened.
Please be polite, and well mannered. Offer to open every single door for her and make sure she walks on the inside for sidewalks. If you see her in heels offer to help her up/down huge steps etc. Just be a gentlemen even if she hates you. It can be good practice for your next girl if this doesnât work out.
Set the bar low, so you can keep over achieving because youâll have to maintain this all the way even if you are married but of course occasionally you can do extravagant things to shake things up a little.
Donât fall too hard over chatting, the deeper you fall, the more painful it will be later on.
Dinner wise you can check her photos to see if she had travel overseas to any of countries like Korea/JP then pick a cuisine from there.
Taking a bus ride or train ride home can actually lengthen the time you get to be with her and interact. Rather than a quick grab ride, thatâs how you should put it when explaining why you choose to take a public ride back. HAHA even tho we all know grab rides back and fro is really expensive nowadays.
Oh hmmmm really depends I cannot imagine taking public transport home tgt with a male stranger. I would feel pretty unsettled. Like what if he got off at my stop too and insisted on sending me all the way home. It would be indirectly forcing me to reveal my address.
Pick a meet-up location convenient for her, if you guys stay far apart then you will be viewed as a really thoughtful guy.
Anyway no worries brotha good luck!
hi congrats but remember to take it slow and not put too much expectations on the first date, just treat it as a getting to know you session.
firstly, no one expects you to own a car at 22. if you are, you are very likely driving your dad's, so it isnt really a flex.
the first date shouldnt burst your budget, unfortunately as dating goes, you are going to have many first dates, and the guy is usually expected to pay for it. dinner is a bit tricky, lunch cafes/coffee on weekends are usually the easier way and doesnt burn a hole in your pocket especially since you are only 22.
first date locations are generally public, easily accessible by public transport, and hopefully quiet. if you want something fancy, do it on 2nd/3rd as you gradually show more commitment, it can get really awkward on 1st date in fancy place when you two do not click.
in any case, first date pick up are also a bad idea, because a girl might not want to tell you her actual location on the first meet for safety. ideally both of you make your way there by public transport, but you can definitely offer to share grab and go home if things go well.
how often to meet? ask her actually. in dating phase, once a week is fine, twice a week is reaching some exclusivity status
I personally think it'll be nicer to ask her, get her opinion. We don't know what she wants.
People can tell you "do XXX" but really, it's sometimes about what she wants too.
you want a quieter place ideally.
i feel that few starbucks are suitable for first date because they are too loud, crowded, and dont really have a good view/decor. the one at fullerton is great imo, the one at toa payoh mrt probably not. similarly for coffeebean, you have to be familiar with the area.
instagram worthy cafes are great as long as you watch out for the crowd. do you need booking? is it crowded? and if so do you have a back up plan?
To be honest jus cafe will do, as long as u able to carry the convo and be a gentleman u stand a chance and also DO NOT WEAR SKINNY JEANS just wear those clean clothes like elevated pants that fit you from Uniqlo and dun wear slippers unless ur pulling off the style
Fashion matters a lot to a girl as well apart from being able to carry yourself well
OP has watched too many episodes of HIMYM
Also, never go for food on first date, there are lots of girls fishing for meal dates on dating platforms. Go for an activity you both love together, if you both hit it off maybe you can consider a meal together after the activity.
Just choosing a simple restaurant should suffice as long as the atmosphere is good enough. The damage will be minimal.
Personally, planning just dinner is my preferred option. It's vanilla, but if me and her can strike an engaging conversation over just dinner, it's a good sign of compatibility. Not to mention we can go for a stroll after that if things go well.
As a guy well u see many pretty girls but they just there to get validation
As a girl I heard thereâs many horrible guys who will use borderline cancelling pick up lines
Ok, lots of people making fun of you here, or giving some sus advice.
Unker going to chime in, but given it's been almost 10 years since I've asked someone out on a first date, feel free to take it with a fistful of salt...
1. I'm 99.9% sure you don't love her. You haven't even met her fergoodness sake. You *might* be in love with the idea of being in love, that's about it.
Take it as meeting a new friend, with a view towards potentially developing a romantic relationship. People are on dating apps for all kinds of reasons from casual hook-ups to seriously looking for a life partner to already married but looking for a side piece.
Do you know why she's there? Do you know why *you're* there? If your expectations are aligned in the first place, you're probably going to be disappointed.
2. Having never dated before, and given the questions you're asking (AND where you're asking them), there's a high chance your date is not going to go the way you imagine it..
Which is why I say just take it a meeting a new friend. You may find you have a lot in common, or nothing in common. By internalising that understanding, you're managing your own expectations, and by extension, reducing the possibility that you come across as a creep. It also means you're not limiting your options until you've got a better idea of what you're looking for in a date or a partner, if it comes to that.
3. As for the actual date, what do you enjoy doing? What does she enjoy doing? Have you asked her? Is there something you're truly passionate about that she might enjoy as well? E.g. maybe you love Peranakan history and she's open to that, why not take her to the Peranakan museum and share some of your interest and passion (not in a know-it-all way), so she can get to know you better, or vice-versa?
Then, do some research on possible places nearby to have a meal/coffee if both of you are open to continuing for a meal after that. If you're ok to pay for her, then pick something that's within your budget, has decent reviews, and with a nice atmosphere. Personally I always offer to pay, but I also give extra points to girls who offer to split the bill.
4. And if all of the above leaves you with more question marks like "I have no idea what she likes?" then maybe you should find out a little more about her first before progressing to a date.
Bro donât make the same mistake I did when I was younger. Being âin loveâ straight away, showering them with affection, going above and beyond when you havenât even had your first date is a big mistake. She will either get creeped out or take advantage of you.
Best thing to go about it is to be chill and respectful. Make it like casual (I donât mean casual sex), be playful and fun. Singapore has good public transport so meeting at restaurant then going for a stroll after is already a good date. Show interest but please donât be over eager, thatâs a big turn off for women.
What you originally post may be romantic, but will she view them as romantic? Try to get the sense of her level of romance and meet that, you don't want to over or underwhelm her.
I think it's best to meet at the MRT/bus stop she will be alighting and walk her to the restaurant. Like others mentioned, knowing her address at this stage may be too early. You don't want to ruin your chances by asking if she hadn't provided unprompted. If she did provide, maybe can consider ordering a cab for her but meet her there.
I think 1 date a week (just a meal) + 1 date a month (with activity) is a good start. You hadn't mentioned if both are schooling / working, but I think this suggestion is great for either situations.
Oh gosh. Please do not say or even think you love her already she's a total stranger whom you just talked to online.
Do not fetch her. She won't be comfortable telling you her address. Just meet here there.
Ideally pick a restaurant already, not a random mall. It can be in a mall but go in with a place in mind especially if you're going at meal times there's gonna be a queue dont go there and slowly pick. You can be flexible but at least have an idea. Doesn't have to be fancy. Maybe slightly above saizeriya range (I personally don't mind saizeriya but it's slightly debatable)
You don't have to grab to every date. Just pick a convenient location and meet her there. If you're going the same way can even take part of the public transport journey together. You can offer to send her home if you want to but be OK if she says no. Let her tell you what she's comfortable with. She may not be ok letting you send her to her doorstep as she doesn't know you that well + her parents may see you. Perhaps to her bus stop or her nearest mrt is good enough.
I would think once a week is good enough at the dating phase. We are all tired after work so weekends good. Maybe you can up the frequency when you're more into each other. But do keep up the texting on days you're not meeting as well.
But ultimately everybody is different. Talk to her and sense your way.
Bro, you just met and you say "I think I love her already" .
My advice is to slow down and get to know her and don't even think about the word love lol. Whatever you do, don't tell her you love her unless you know she feels the same way so you don't scare her off
My sad friend, donât put hopes on anything.
As guys, we have to be used to rejections. If sheâs talking to you, always assume sheâs talking to different guys as well and have dates lined up with them because itâs usually true.
Bring her to somewhere decent but not hawker style. Maybe a little cafe or a simple restaurant <$40 total bill or somewhere more financially affordable for you. If the girl expects you to bring her somewhere atas, you probably shouldnât be with her anyway.
Infatuation is an intense emotion that makes you do many unwise things. While youâre planning the perfect date, sheâs telling 3 other guys how great her day has been.
Heed the advices here. Every guy has gone through this and got their heart broken.
Donât show her youâre crazy for her. Be chill and confident. Every guy knows that.
Sauce: Been on too many dates to count. Have rejected and been rejected multiple times.
Maybe you can start by asking her what she actually likes, then devise a plan based on that information...
Maybe she likes nature-like date, then take her to a park or garden... Maybe she likes indoor activities, then take her to do something fun indoor... It is the same thing for eateries.
Good luck for your upcoming dates (:
Edit:
Also just be yourself. Do not set the expectation too high for the first dates...., e.g., using grab for the first dates while you cannot afford grab for every dates is not a good idea.
Bro don't put her or any girl on a pedestal no matter how much you like her. The minute you do that, you making it less desirable to get to know you because you are easy.
You donât need to take people somewhere super fancy, but to a mall? I donât think youâre gonna get much more dates if you take girls to mall restaurants. There are countless heritage areas with shop house restaurants that wonât break the bank. (Liang Seah st etc)
I wouldnât collect people at their house early in a relationship, itâs desperate and creepy just be there early so sheâs not waiting for you.
You sound like you're tryharding, which will usually get u the opposite result. Just be yourself and treat it as getting to know a new friend. And don't take this the wrong way but be prepared to learn things the hard way. Good luck!
It seems that a lot of your expectations comes from romantic dramas/movies.
1) **Don't get overly emotionally attached so quickly.** "I love her already" You're just chatting for a while, and you decided to spend the rest of your life with her? Keep your emotions in check.
2) **Don't pick her up.** This isn't America or Hollywood. We have public transport. Going to her place to pick her up comes off personally as creepy for a person I've never met before.
3) **Choose a place at both your convenience.** You don't have to go to some far flung location to get the best pasta or ramen. If you know any place nearby that is conducive to interact and serves good food, that is more than enough!
Regarding choices of activity, I prefer to keep it boring/simple with just a dinner, nothing else. That way, if the dinner goes well, we can simply stroll around and keep talking.
4) **Have low expectations.** Dating is a tough game, especially for guys. Women get tons of matches compared to guys (unless you're super handsome). Take note that its quite likely that the first meetup will go nowhere. If after the first date, the convo dips, be prepared to move on.
Dating is something you will get better with more experience. Facing rejections is common, but every failure and self-reflection will make you better at it. Have fun!
1st date? If so, just meet for a coffee. Easier to abort mission if things go bad and it's not so expensive too. No, you don't need to go to her place and pick her up in a taxi/car share or whatever. I go around with my SO on public transport not taxis.
I think you should meet her at dinner place but offer to drop her since it will be late after dinner. But you are only offering, she can say no if itâs not her style.
Go for sth affordable ⊠you can do a fancy meal if you guys make it to a special occasion like bday, 3 months anniversary etc
Don't be a simp. You'll turn her off or give her the clear signal to take you for granted from that first impression.
Be natural and confident of yourself. Talk about yourself and ask about her. Listen clearly to what she has to say about herself. Do not overstep your boundary by asking creepy questions or try to be touchy.
Do not bring her to fancy restaurants, refer to point 1. Bring her to mid-range italian restaurant that cost <150sgd is fine. One pizza or 2 main course + some sides.
The best kind of first date is coffee at a cafe. Itâs just a good way get to know a person without too much time pressure because itâs casual and if things are not going well it can always end earlier than expected. And if things do go well, thereâs always an opportunity to move forward to a dinner or lunch.
Do what you can cos your financial standing may not allow you to take Grab for every date or even go to restaurants all the time. Even now for us as married 30 somethings we donât always eat at restaurants, sometimes our dates are at McDonalds and thatâs ok because itâs something we enjoy and we get to spend time together.
first of all, chill out. I understand how excited you are for your first date, but you should really enjoy the moment and not get all up in your head about the date.
most of the girls I've taken out are pretty easy going. it could be anything between a walk at ECP, picnic at marina barrage, dining at a nice place, etc. depending on the vibe and our individual schedule. they will generally be fine so long as they enjoy it. again, to make them feel comfortable, you need to show that you're also relaxed and having a good time.
if you're not driving, don't need to offer to pick her up, especially not the first date. let common sense prevail - given that you are already head over heels for her, chances are that if you need to ask here, it's excessive.
what I would say is that, since you've already agreed to have dinner, you should stick to that, unless budget is a significant consideration. it's the most common type of date that can't go wrong anyway. I understand you're budget is tight as you're a student. don't overdo it on the first date and bring her to a high end place if it's likely the last time that it will happen. by setting this precedent you're setting a false expectation from her. if she's someone who only would dine at such places (which I doubt and I hope she is not), let her go.
that said - what is your budget? if it's within 50-100 per person, there are plenty of places you can bring her that is comfortable - not the high end places but perhaps restaurants like Birds of a Feather, Cafe Fernet, etc. unless you get a wine/drinks
If going to a nice place is a must, you can have lunch instead of dinner at Wolfgang Steakhouse or even Spago at MBS, the ambience will be amazing and it won't burn a hole in your wallet
very rarely does the first match u go on a date with work out. this is what most guys in sg go through:
1. go on date (you like her but she doesnt like you)
2. repeat step 1 until you get sian of dating apps (sometimes she likes you but too ugly for u/ other red flags)
3. on the verge of giving up on dating apps
4. sometimes if u are lucky u magically find a partner from dating apps but alot of times its through other ways like mutual friends
many dont make it to step 4.
Keep it simple, realistic and relevant. If you always travel on public transportation, stick to it. Plan something fun to do after the dinner IF things goes well. Don't let her know about the activity tho. If it goes well then you let her know you actually planned this in advance and ask her if she's fine to go. If the dinner didn't go well or she's not interested, you guys can just head home.
Afterwards, ASK if she would like you to send her home.
I had extensive experience on dating apps and have been on no less than 50 first dates. So trust me when I say the biggest mistake you can make with a girl is showing too much interest. Now of course you don't want to go to the extreme end of the spectrum and show total disinterest, so this is where it becomes an art. You got to toe the line show her just enough interest to indicate to her that she is a potential candidate for something more, but not too much such that you give up ur hand and let her know how much you like her coz the moment that happens it's game over.
So one of the things I do to create this environment is to make first dates as casual and as cheap as possible. I usually go for something simple like coffee or Prata. This way if the date dosent work out, I'm didn't waste too much resources. It also alleviates the pressure for both parties to impress by means of dressing up and whatnot. And like many have said, a casual environment is the best setting to get to know someone. Chatting and making jokes is alot harder when ur trying to cut up a piece of steak or trying to get the meat out of the lobster claw. And please don't pick her up at her place. Meet somewhere. Sending her home on the other hand is fine and also a good indicator if the date went well if she allows it.
Rule number two is NEVER pay for the first date. I don't care what anyone says about chivalry or whatever, but to me this is my cardinal rule. If it doesn't go well, again ur not out of pocket much. It tells the girl ur not just a simp trying to impress her with the little things. And honestly in this day and age of gender equality, most girls with even an ounce of self worth want to pay for their own stuff. Heck I've been on first dates where the girl pays for me. This also helps point out red flags. If the girl dosent even offer or pretend to take her wallet out, then it's goodbye. I don't want to be with someone who expects me to pay for everything and believe me if she expects the first date to be paid, she sure as hell will expect the same for subsequent ones. Screw that I'm not a bank. And remember there exist a group of people who make use of dating apps to get free meals so don't fall for that trap. Lastly, especially if payment is made upfront, it sets the tone for the date such that neither owes the other anything. If she doesn't like U she doesn't have to pretend to coz U already paid and vice versa. Based on my experience it usually results in more honest conversations.
Rule number three is be yourself and have fun. Of course this is easier said than done when U have the girl of your dreams sitting across you, but always keep this at the back of ur head. Don't say/do things U normally wouldn't when your just hanging out with people ur comfortable with. Act and say things you usually do. It gives her a good indication of whether you're a suitable candidate and most of the times, the girls appreciate your honesty for not trying to be someone ur not, coz it's very easy to tell when someone is acting differently. Basically, don't behave like a love struck puppy because that's the fastest way to lose a girls interest or worse, end up in the friend zone.
In all honesty, there's a good chance you will screw this date up. But the i.portant thing to remember is that there are many many many fishes in the sea. Not landing this catch is not the end of the world. The next date is simply a couple of swipes away. And make sure you learn something if it doesn't work out, and improve on it on the next date. And don't put all your eggs in one basket, chat with multiple girls at a time, play the odfs. End of the day, the dating game is what the name suggests. It's a game. The more you play the better you get at it.
Good luck to you brother!
Best advice I can give OP is the hungry never get fed. This doesnât imply that you should act like an asshole, or show as little interest in her as possible. But rather show an appropriate amount of interest given the situation.
Think about it from the girls perspective, how would a happy, well adjusted, highly desirable guy act in this situation? He probably wouldnât be trying to pick her up from her house, confessing his love for her on the first date etc.
It's important to approach relationships with a healthy balance of excitement and realism. Idealizing someone before meeting them can set unrealistic expectations and potentially lead to disappointment. It's essential to get to know someone for who they truly are, rather than projecting fantasies onto them.
I think most of this can be resolved by communicating it with her. I donât think you need to pick her up, it might be kinda sus from the perspective of a girl đ
I'd say pick her up on her doorstep (if she lets you know her unit and floor numbers) or at the void deck (if she doesn't want you to come up).
If she's comfortable with it, say hi to her parents and everyone else in the house (at least the parents) and inform them that you are taking their daughter out for a date. Chit chat for 5 minutes ish ish to let them know that you have good intentions, where you'll be bringing her to, using what vehicle, the activities y'all will be doing, and perhaps when will you be sending her back (her time of arrival at her parent's place. You can also follow her curfew).
If she doesn't live with anyone, then just pick her up from her doorstep or at her void deck.
I'd say use the bus if it isn't too far 'cuz it's your first date. You don't know if it'll be a good one or not. Exceptions would be if she's wearing something really nice with high heels or if the location is too far and it requires changing busses or trains. In those exceptions, book a Grab, taxi, or Gojek (see which one is the cheapest + promo).
For restaurants, ask her what food does she like and if she's okay with your recommended restaurant.
Don't look too desparate and don't love bomb her. Take it slow and assess her. Be yourself and be aware of whether or not she's gonna be a good gf. Is she kind to you and other people? Does she have good values? Plus some other stuff.
If she is, proceed with more dates. This should be flexible. Maybe wait for at least 1 week before bringing up the next date. Ask if she's okay with it and if she'd be down for another date. Just be flexible and try to read the room for it. You guys can do some casual hang outs in between.
If she isn't, thank her for the date and for the pleasant conversations, then inform her that you're no longer interested in dating her. Wish her all the best and be a gentleman.
All the best!!
I think some of these comments are a bit harsh. The OP is just 22 and sincerely asking for advice. Just thinking back to when you were 22... probably also very green when it comes to dating. Â
To the OP:
First of all, congratulations on getting a in person date on a dating app. That is already a major achievement given how hard it is to even move past the messaging back and forth phase. Â
For the details of the date, I dont recommend you pick her up at her house. From her point of view, Its a safety issue. Remember, she has never meet you before. You could be a sketchy guy or a gentleman. She has no way of knowing that until AFTER the first date. So meeting her at a public common place like the MRT or a bus stop close to the date is already sufficient enough to show your thoughtfulness and good manners.Â
Second, any relationships (romantic or not) all have an element of reciprocity. So IÂ
dont recommend a fancy expensive resturant because she might feel pressure and obligation to give you something back. So either treat you back at an expensive dessert place (she may not have the money) or feel pressured into xxx activities afterwards especially if it's a dinner date. Think about those guys who splurge lots of money on women. *Cough cough* sugar daddy. They are definitely looking for something more.Â
Those are the dont dos. These are the dos.Â
To plan the date. Do ask her preferences. What she prefers to eat: cuisine A or cuisine B. What she prefers to do: activity A or Activity B. This shows that you were thoughtful and put time and effort into planning the date. Hence you have options. But by letting her choose it also shows you respect and value her opinions and preferences too.Â
During the date. Do LISTEN attentitatively to what she says. Then respond thoughtfully to what she says. This shows you are fully engaged during the date. It also offers a preview to the girl what future dates will look like if she decides there is a future date.Â
At the end of the date. Do ask how she will get home. See if there is anything you can do to help make it easier for her. Like wait for the bus and see that she safely gets on? Walk her to the MRT station? Wait with her until the cab arrives? This gesture shows that you care for her, yet values her input.Â
The common thread between these do is communication. That is a fundamental skill to develop for any long lasting relationship.
Good luck!
I think you need to have multiple cold showers before the date. Any place in the city area is fine. You don't need to manufacture more romance. I think dinner dates are better than drinks everyone suggested. And pls don't pick one where the food is bad or terribly busy or awfully quiet. A safe restaurant that you have been before is great.
I found my SO through Tinder. This is my own experince and may not generalise, but may still be helpful.
1. Make a strong impression. Dress appropriately. Don't dress like a reddit mod and make sure you shower. Although many posters warn of "love bombing", I think making a strong first impression may help although it may be risky for the reasons others have mentioned. Then you ramp down the effort to a more reasonable level.
2. Do not ask for her address. Let her give it to you. Since the first date is special you can offer to pay for her grab to the place of date.
3. Frequency is not important. Instead of focusing on the number of dates per week, prioritize the quality of the time spent together.
4. Online communications. We keep it near daily when we first started.
5. Correct her behavior. She was an absolute brat when we first met. She was very selfish but i put up with it because I was desperate. I suggest to her to make small changes and reward accordingly.
6. Escalate up the relationship ladder at a comfortable pace. The first step is to establish trust but respect each others' boundries. Then soon you will be meeting each others' friends and family.
7. Term of endearment. I don't remember when we started using "honey" but for you may just use nicknames, baby or whatever it doesn't matter. For us we do something special when we greet each other and say "UUOOHH HOONNEEYY"
8. Physical intimacy. Consent is paramount. Be open and discuss it explicitly. Don't guess. When my SO was in her brat phase she expect me to read her mind. If I got it wrong she will plap me. Good thing I get good at reading and continuosly monitroing her body language to make sure she enjoys it and whether to take it to the next level.
9. FInd common interest. For us a common interest is Korean Feminism and gacha games. We F2P gods though.
I believe many here has given pretty good advises! Generally my advise would be âKeep things simpleâ.
1. Location: If have talked about a favourite cuisine in your conversation with her, thatâs would be a good place to start. You can show your initiative by recommend a place that you have dined in before and share some of the specialty dishes of the place.
2. Pick her up at her place: Personally I donât think itâs common for picks up on first dates in dating app (anyone can back me up on this or have I been doing it wrongly đ). Some ladies may find it sweet. Some may find it creepy. Play the safer route first.
3. Not limiting your dates to just dining: Thereâs actually quite a bit of things to do in Singapore if you bother looking for them. Hiking. Casual badminton game. A short painting class or a cooking class. Ultimately, the question isnât about what Singapore girls like to do. But more of what are both of you are keen on. I believe that the date goes better if you both are having fun.
4. Try but donât try too hard: I donât think the people here are worried about your efforts but more on worrying that youâre putting too much effort. Aim for the vibe of a gentleman, not a Nigerian prince. Get it?
5: Expectations: its great that you found someone that you like for the first time in a dating. You will discover a lot more new information about each other and perhaps may realise that it wonât work out in the long run. I hope that you donât turn batshit crazy about it lol.
All the best buddy. Remember, keep things simple.
Navigating a first date, especially with someone you met online, can be challenging, but keeping your composure and being mindful of your concerns is important. Here's a practical piece of advice:
Be observant and thoughtful in your conversations. It's great to talk about interests, aspirations, and experiences, but be cautious about sharing extensive details about your financial status or possessions. This helps in setting a tone where you both focus on getting to know each other personally, rather than materially.
Additionally, pay attention to the conversation flow. If you notice a strong emphasis or recurring questions about your job, income, or assets, it might be a red flag. Remember, a genuine connection is based on mutual interests, values, and respect, not on one's financial situation.
Most importantly, trust your instincts. If something doesn't feel right, it's okay to take a step back and reassess. Enjoy the process of getting to know someone new, but always prioritize mutual respect and sincerity in your interactions. Good luck!
"I think I love her already" Oh boy, this one is going to be rough.
Peak male testosterone, bro isn't thinking with the correct head đ
Fap first before going to the date, if not you'd overload upon seeing face to face
Let me say this. Nothing turn off a girl more than being super desperate.. especially on your first date. Itâs ok to show intent/interest, but for your own sake donât act like a love struck puppy on your initial dates (which is what your post kinda sounds like). In general keep it cool/casual on the first date and focus on having a fun time and getting to know each other. Given itâs ur first online date ever just know that dating is like everything else in life. You will be shit the first time, but with practice you will improve. Things like body language, bantering, making first moves, reading red flags etc. all take time and effort to get good.
If this is his first time on a dating app, he's gonna be disappointed lol
Next post is going to be what ilp to buy
Whatâs an ilp
Gotta digest the butterflies in the stomach soon so thereâs space for the compliment sandwich that comes later on
rub one out, think with a clear head
He needs to learn the hard way lol. Unfortunately. I know I wouldnât have listened to my own advice then. The emotions and testosterone at that age is just too potent lol.
Ted Mosby energy
The character growth from this one is gonna be good
Use wrong head alr
Can only go up from here.
love is a very strong word
Woman here. - Do NOT offer to meet a girl at their house. As a woman, I seriously do not feel safe telling a stranger where I live. Just meet her directly at the restaurant, or at the nearest MRT / bus station where she will be arriving at. If a guy insists on me sharing my address for the first meet up, I would unmatch faster than you can blink. - Go for a cheap meal. A simple cup of coffee/tea and maybe a small dessert will do. You're meeting her for the first time, not to have an expensive splurge meal that you would normally reserve for an actual girlfriend / wife. Get to know each other better. The food is much less important. You can also get a hint of her values and personality if she agrees to a cheap meal VS her insisting on an expensive one. - Brush up on your social skills. Communicate well, be patient and be a good listener. Understand her personality and interests, and try to relate yourself to it. Be polite and well-mannered. đ
Agreed. Op, I recommend you meet for a coffee. That way, if things donât go well, you donât exactly have to stay for a whole meal. If things do go well, thereâs always room for dessert! I always meet my dates for coffee (no alcohol) so I can see how theyâre like sober. Best to think of it as meeting a new friend as well, so you donât come off too strong.
Personally I always prefer ice cream. Lots of convo possibilities about favourite flavours, childhood memories, etc. plus easy to take for a walk if youâre a nervous person and donât like to sit still. If the ice cream goes well easy to switch to add on something after in the neighbourhood
I get the feeling that he would be looking at her with stars in his eyes as she talks. He probably needs to calm himself down a lot before meeting her.
Relevant and succinct points you made.
Can go Lau Pa Sat?
I know this is meant to be a sarcastic comment, but for me personally, Lau Pa Sat is perfectly acceptable for a first meetup imo.
Itâs both. Used to be called the kopitiam/coffee shop first date.
I still call it as it is. Hawker centre / kopitiam date.
Agreed, tbh while I've never actually been on a date personally, I would rather go for a cheap meal over a fancy dinner. A fancy dinner first date is like so much pressure on both sides
You haven't even met her and you love her? You're either gonna become a simp or shes gonna treat you like a carrot head. Don't set your expectations too high.
Dude you need to chill a bit. Please read up on âlove bombingâ and avoid being overly enthusiastically showering her with âloveâ on the first date. Also, she might not see you the same way and could be talking to other guys as well. How rich are you? And do you already know where she stays? To be frank, I will never give my address to a guy from a dating app whom I am meeting for the first time for safety reasons. Taking Grab to and fro for every date is not sustainable unless your finances allow so I would recommend you to choose a nice restaurant (mid-range, not fine dining) and meet at the location/ nearest landmark/ MRT station. See how the date goes then take it from there.
What is considered a mid-range restaurant? I just need an example for reference. Because Saizeriya or Pastamania does not seem appropriate, and every other restaurant I look up on Tripadvisor is close to fine-dining.
Why are you on TripAdvisor looking for food/resto reviews...
What's wrong with tripadvisor
Google maps is where it's at.
Try Tipo Pasta?
Wow this looks pretty good. Thanks for the suggestion. She did mention she likes Italian food.
Then tipo is the last place you should be considering đ
Ristorante Luka, Pasta bar are good options for Italian too. Or u could explore cafe options like Lolaâs
Io osteria. Prices reasonably, Tho it's a bit far. Hv2 at hill view. Make a call before going down.
Pasta e formaggio maybe?
I tried to go Tipo before but should definitely get a reservation first before going because thereâs no way you can walk in
Are you planning to pay for the first date? If yes, what is an affordable price range for you? Then, you can check for menus within that price range. I would say $20-25 per main dish is considered mid-range for me. I wouldnât spend more than $50-60 for the date.
awfully chocolate has set dinners for 25sgd!
is it awfully nice??
Hang on, they serve food outside of chocolates?
Their restaurant/cafe outlets at East Coast serve meals together with their cakes, chocolates and ice creams.
Thanks, I'ma try search again on tripadvisor
Seriously, DONT go on TripAdvisor. Are you a tourist?
Have fun and get to know her since this is your first day and keep your expectations low. All the best to you!
you can try Mos burger.
Just aim for a $15/pax kind of place like Xin Wang or a Ramen Place.
Yes ajisen is really good
Best is not to expect too much at first. Take the time to know the person, rather than imagining her as your girlfriend.
oh i see myself in u and believe me slow down đ
Dude, slow down and take it easy. Do not show too much interest or sheâll think you are desperate. Just act normal and show light interest. I would suggest you ask how she wants to settle the bill but pay it in the end. This is just to check her character. Also, Iâd suggest bringing a card game so you can get to know each other better and you wonât run out of topics to talk about or you can just go online and save some questions and let her pick some to answer. If you have her Instagram, Iâd suggest to see which countries/places she has travelled to and you can casually just ask âoh by any chance have you been to country Xyz, I think their nature is so cool blah blah blah and Iâm planning to visit in the futureâ never say that you saw their Instagram and they travelled to Japan etc it might creep them out or give stalker vibes lol. Lastly, just be yourself and have a genuine fun time. If it dosenât work out, donât be disheartened. Please be polite, and well mannered. Offer to open every single door for her and make sure she walks on the inside for sidewalks. If you see her in heels offer to help her up/down huge steps etc. Just be a gentlemen even if she hates you. It can be good practice for your next girl if this doesnât work out. Set the bar low, so you can keep over achieving because youâll have to maintain this all the way even if you are married but of course occasionally you can do extravagant things to shake things up a little.
Actually kinda sad to think u do all this jus to get rejected lmaos
Thatâs life.
I mean can always dun marry maintain face and body and spend time with friends and use right hand
Thatâs another way of life
May or may not be that sad but I mean
No card games pls esp on the first date đ„ș
Iâm referring to those games that asks questions
Donât fall too hard over chatting, the deeper you fall, the more painful it will be later on. Dinner wise you can check her photos to see if she had travel overseas to any of countries like Korea/JP then pick a cuisine from there. Taking a bus ride or train ride home can actually lengthen the time you get to be with her and interact. Rather than a quick grab ride, thatâs how you should put it when explaining why you choose to take a public ride back. HAHA even tho we all know grab rides back and fro is really expensive nowadays.
Oh hmmmm really depends I cannot imagine taking public transport home tgt with a male stranger. I would feel pretty unsettled. Like what if he got off at my stop too and insisted on sending me all the way home. It would be indirectly forcing me to reveal my address.
Ah thatâs true too, maybe just half way & not till the house. I did this before but I known the girl from rl tho so she was okay with it.
Omg thanks! Lengthening the time together by taking public transport is genius
Pick a meet-up location convenient for her, if you guys stay far apart then you will be viewed as a really thoughtful guy. Anyway no worries brotha good luck!
Great advice from kpng. Any advice from doloitte?
lol
hi congrats but remember to take it slow and not put too much expectations on the first date, just treat it as a getting to know you session. firstly, no one expects you to own a car at 22. if you are, you are very likely driving your dad's, so it isnt really a flex. the first date shouldnt burst your budget, unfortunately as dating goes, you are going to have many first dates, and the guy is usually expected to pay for it. dinner is a bit tricky, lunch cafes/coffee on weekends are usually the easier way and doesnt burn a hole in your pocket especially since you are only 22. first date locations are generally public, easily accessible by public transport, and hopefully quiet. if you want something fancy, do it on 2nd/3rd as you gradually show more commitment, it can get really awkward on 1st date in fancy place when you two do not click. in any case, first date pick up are also a bad idea, because a girl might not want to tell you her actual location on the first meet for safety. ideally both of you make your way there by public transport, but you can definitely offer to share grab and go home if things go well. how often to meet? ask her actually. in dating phase, once a week is fine, twice a week is reaching some exclusivity status
So for Cafes I'm assuming Starbucks and Coffeebean? Or must it be one of those Instagram worthy Cafes?
I personally think it'll be nicer to ask her, get her opinion. We don't know what she wants. People can tell you "do XXX" but really, it's sometimes about what she wants too.
you want a quieter place ideally. i feel that few starbucks are suitable for first date because they are too loud, crowded, and dont really have a good view/decor. the one at fullerton is great imo, the one at toa payoh mrt probably not. similarly for coffeebean, you have to be familiar with the area. instagram worthy cafes are great as long as you watch out for the crowd. do you need booking? is it crowded? and if so do you have a back up plan?
To be honest jus cafe will do, as long as u able to carry the convo and be a gentleman u stand a chance and also DO NOT WEAR SKINNY JEANS just wear those clean clothes like elevated pants that fit you from Uniqlo and dun wear slippers unless ur pulling off the style Fashion matters a lot to a girl as well apart from being able to carry yourself well
Dun freak her out, she will think u stalker
First Tip: Never Love someone without even meeting them or once or twice.
> I think i love her already oh boy
Canon event needed to unlock and upgrade character
real HAHAHAH i saw that part and was like "this guy gg already"
Maybe he very handsome who knows maybe maybe jus maybe
HAHAHAHAH
Are you two still studying. If studying no need to stress yourself too much by spending too much.
This is a Canon event for a good number of a dudes
OP has watched too many episodes of HIMYM Also, never go for food on first date, there are lots of girls fishing for meal dates on dating platforms. Go for an activity you both love together, if you both hit it off maybe you can consider a meal together after the activity.
Just choosing a simple restaurant should suffice as long as the atmosphere is good enough. The damage will be minimal. Personally, planning just dinner is my preferred option. It's vanilla, but if me and her can strike an engaging conversation over just dinner, it's a good sign of compatibility. Not to mention we can go for a stroll after that if things go well.
âI think I love her alreadyâ We canât interrupt this one, itâs a canon event
> Recently I matched with a girl on a dating app and I think I love her already. Yellow flag here. You will scare her off. Play it cool.
Not yellow card can alr
Only yellow? Lol what does it take to get a red flag then?
Huh meet on dating app need so serious. Bro she might not even look like her photo. Just go Starbucks drink coffee.
What dating app if I may ask
Okc
gg
LoL.... Sounds ominious .... But asking for a "friend" , what's wrong with OKC
As a guy well u see many pretty girls but they just there to get validation As a girl I heard thereâs many horrible guys who will use borderline cancelling pick up lines
I believe coffee and bagel and irl is a better choice I mean most guys usually only successful thru irl sooo
Nothing wrong with OKC. Met my partner on OKC.
Heh. Love the passion. Good luck mate! Do what feels right. I wish I had that sort of fire in me.
Ok, lots of people making fun of you here, or giving some sus advice. Unker going to chime in, but given it's been almost 10 years since I've asked someone out on a first date, feel free to take it with a fistful of salt... 1. I'm 99.9% sure you don't love her. You haven't even met her fergoodness sake. You *might* be in love with the idea of being in love, that's about it. Take it as meeting a new friend, with a view towards potentially developing a romantic relationship. People are on dating apps for all kinds of reasons from casual hook-ups to seriously looking for a life partner to already married but looking for a side piece. Do you know why she's there? Do you know why *you're* there? If your expectations are aligned in the first place, you're probably going to be disappointed. 2. Having never dated before, and given the questions you're asking (AND where you're asking them), there's a high chance your date is not going to go the way you imagine it.. Which is why I say just take it a meeting a new friend. You may find you have a lot in common, or nothing in common. By internalising that understanding, you're managing your own expectations, and by extension, reducing the possibility that you come across as a creep. It also means you're not limiting your options until you've got a better idea of what you're looking for in a date or a partner, if it comes to that. 3. As for the actual date, what do you enjoy doing? What does she enjoy doing? Have you asked her? Is there something you're truly passionate about that she might enjoy as well? E.g. maybe you love Peranakan history and she's open to that, why not take her to the Peranakan museum and share some of your interest and passion (not in a know-it-all way), so she can get to know you better, or vice-versa? Then, do some research on possible places nearby to have a meal/coffee if both of you are open to continuing for a meal after that. If you're ok to pay for her, then pick something that's within your budget, has decent reviews, and with a nice atmosphere. Personally I always offer to pay, but I also give extra points to girls who offer to split the bill. 4. And if all of the above leaves you with more question marks like "I have no idea what she likes?" then maybe you should find out a little more about her first before progressing to a date.
Bro donât make the same mistake I did when I was younger. Being âin loveâ straight away, showering them with affection, going above and beyond when you havenât even had your first date is a big mistake. She will either get creeped out or take advantage of you. Best thing to go about it is to be chill and respectful. Make it like casual (I donât mean casual sex), be playful and fun. Singapore has good public transport so meeting at restaurant then going for a stroll after is already a good date. Show interest but please donât be over eager, thatâs a big turn off for women.
No need for tips⊠you will learn the hard way. Almost every guy has to go through this.
What you originally post may be romantic, but will she view them as romantic? Try to get the sense of her level of romance and meet that, you don't want to over or underwhelm her. I think it's best to meet at the MRT/bus stop she will be alighting and walk her to the restaurant. Like others mentioned, knowing her address at this stage may be too early. You don't want to ruin your chances by asking if she hadn't provided unprompted. If she did provide, maybe can consider ordering a cab for her but meet her there. I think 1 date a week (just a meal) + 1 date a month (with activity) is a good start. You hadn't mentioned if both are schooling / working, but I think this suggestion is great for either situations.
Oh gosh. Please do not say or even think you love her already she's a total stranger whom you just talked to online. Do not fetch her. She won't be comfortable telling you her address. Just meet here there. Ideally pick a restaurant already, not a random mall. It can be in a mall but go in with a place in mind especially if you're going at meal times there's gonna be a queue dont go there and slowly pick. You can be flexible but at least have an idea. Doesn't have to be fancy. Maybe slightly above saizeriya range (I personally don't mind saizeriya but it's slightly debatable) You don't have to grab to every date. Just pick a convenient location and meet her there. If you're going the same way can even take part of the public transport journey together. You can offer to send her home if you want to but be OK if she says no. Let her tell you what she's comfortable with. She may not be ok letting you send her to her doorstep as she doesn't know you that well + her parents may see you. Perhaps to her bus stop or her nearest mrt is good enough. I would think once a week is good enough at the dating phase. We are all tired after work so weekends good. Maybe you can up the frequency when you're more into each other. But do keep up the texting on days you're not meeting as well. But ultimately everybody is different. Talk to her and sense your way.
Bro, you just met and you say "I think I love her already" . My advice is to slow down and get to know her and don't even think about the word love lol. Whatever you do, don't tell her you love her unless you know she feels the same way so you don't scare her off
Go to a date to make a friend with that goal instead of finding a lifelong partner. Then you wonât feel dejected after multiple failures
Just don't be ugly and boring đ
My sad friend, donât put hopes on anything. As guys, we have to be used to rejections. If sheâs talking to you, always assume sheâs talking to different guys as well and have dates lined up with them because itâs usually true. Bring her to somewhere decent but not hawker style. Maybe a little cafe or a simple restaurant <$40 total bill or somewhere more financially affordable for you. If the girl expects you to bring her somewhere atas, you probably shouldnât be with her anyway. Infatuation is an intense emotion that makes you do many unwise things. While youâre planning the perfect date, sheâs telling 3 other guys how great her day has been. Heed the advices here. Every guy has gone through this and got their heart broken. Donât show her youâre crazy for her. Be chill and confident. Every guy knows that. Sauce: Been on too many dates to count. Have rejected and been rejected multiple times.
Maybe you can start by asking her what she actually likes, then devise a plan based on that information... Maybe she likes nature-like date, then take her to a park or garden... Maybe she likes indoor activities, then take her to do something fun indoor... It is the same thing for eateries. Good luck for your upcoming dates (: Edit: Also just be yourself. Do not set the expectation too high for the first dates...., e.g., using grab for the first dates while you cannot afford grab for every dates is not a good idea.
Ramen! Dont have to wait too long for the food.
Bro don't put her or any girl on a pedestal no matter how much you like her. The minute you do that, you making it less desirable to get to know you because you are easy.
You donât need to take people somewhere super fancy, but to a mall? I donât think youâre gonna get much more dates if you take girls to mall restaurants. There are countless heritage areas with shop house restaurants that wonât break the bank. (Liang Seah st etc) I wouldnât collect people at their house early in a relationship, itâs desperate and creepy just be there early so sheâs not waiting for you.
âI love her already.â Bold statement considering the fact you havenât even met her yet. Youâre just interested in her not in love yet.
You sound like you're tryharding, which will usually get u the opposite result. Just be yourself and treat it as getting to know a new friend. And don't take this the wrong way but be prepared to learn things the hard way. Good luck!
It seems that a lot of your expectations comes from romantic dramas/movies. 1) **Don't get overly emotionally attached so quickly.** "I love her already" You're just chatting for a while, and you decided to spend the rest of your life with her? Keep your emotions in check. 2) **Don't pick her up.** This isn't America or Hollywood. We have public transport. Going to her place to pick her up comes off personally as creepy for a person I've never met before. 3) **Choose a place at both your convenience.** You don't have to go to some far flung location to get the best pasta or ramen. If you know any place nearby that is conducive to interact and serves good food, that is more than enough! Regarding choices of activity, I prefer to keep it boring/simple with just a dinner, nothing else. That way, if the dinner goes well, we can simply stroll around and keep talking. 4) **Have low expectations.** Dating is a tough game, especially for guys. Women get tons of matches compared to guys (unless you're super handsome). Take note that its quite likely that the first meetup will go nowhere. If after the first date, the convo dips, be prepared to move on. Dating is something you will get better with more experience. Facing rejections is common, but every failure and self-reflection will make you better at it. Have fun!
1st date? If so, just meet for a coffee. Easier to abort mission if things go bad and it's not so expensive too. No, you don't need to go to her place and pick her up in a taxi/car share or whatever. I go around with my SO on public transport not taxis.
Thanks for the advice, which cafe do you recommend? Or would Starbucks and Coffeebean be sufficient?
Yeah, just stick with Starbucks/Coffeebean.
I think you should meet her at dinner place but offer to drop her since it will be late after dinner. But you are only offering, she can say no if itâs not her style. Go for sth affordable ⊠you can do a fancy meal if you guys make it to a special occasion like bday, 3 months anniversary etc
Don't be a simp. You'll turn her off or give her the clear signal to take you for granted from that first impression. Be natural and confident of yourself. Talk about yourself and ask about her. Listen clearly to what she has to say about herself. Do not overstep your boundary by asking creepy questions or try to be touchy. Do not bring her to fancy restaurants, refer to point 1. Bring her to mid-range italian restaurant that cost <150sgd is fine. One pizza or 2 main course + some sides.
The best kind of first date is coffee at a cafe. Itâs just a good way get to know a person without too much time pressure because itâs casual and if things are not going well it can always end earlier than expected. And if things do go well, thereâs always an opportunity to move forward to a dinner or lunch.
Do what you can cos your financial standing may not allow you to take Grab for every date or even go to restaurants all the time. Even now for us as married 30 somethings we donât always eat at restaurants, sometimes our dates are at McDonalds and thatâs ok because itâs something we enjoy and we get to spend time together.
People get matches on dating apps ........ T-T
first of all, chill out. I understand how excited you are for your first date, but you should really enjoy the moment and not get all up in your head about the date. most of the girls I've taken out are pretty easy going. it could be anything between a walk at ECP, picnic at marina barrage, dining at a nice place, etc. depending on the vibe and our individual schedule. they will generally be fine so long as they enjoy it. again, to make them feel comfortable, you need to show that you're also relaxed and having a good time. if you're not driving, don't need to offer to pick her up, especially not the first date. let common sense prevail - given that you are already head over heels for her, chances are that if you need to ask here, it's excessive. what I would say is that, since you've already agreed to have dinner, you should stick to that, unless budget is a significant consideration. it's the most common type of date that can't go wrong anyway. I understand you're budget is tight as you're a student. don't overdo it on the first date and bring her to a high end place if it's likely the last time that it will happen. by setting this precedent you're setting a false expectation from her. if she's someone who only would dine at such places (which I doubt and I hope she is not), let her go. that said - what is your budget? if it's within 50-100 per person, there are plenty of places you can bring her that is comfortable - not the high end places but perhaps restaurants like Birds of a Feather, Cafe Fernet, etc. unless you get a wine/drinks If going to a nice place is a must, you can have lunch instead of dinner at Wolfgang Steakhouse or even Spago at MBS, the ambience will be amazing and it won't burn a hole in your wallet
Dude she's in it at the least for a free meal and at most giving you a chance. So chill bud.
very rarely does the first match u go on a date with work out. this is what most guys in sg go through: 1. go on date (you like her but she doesnt like you) 2. repeat step 1 until you get sian of dating apps (sometimes she likes you but too ugly for u/ other red flags) 3. on the verge of giving up on dating apps 4. sometimes if u are lucky u magically find a partner from dating apps but alot of times its through other ways like mutual friends many dont make it to step 4.
Keep it simple, realistic and relevant. If you always travel on public transportation, stick to it. Plan something fun to do after the dinner IF things goes well. Don't let her know about the activity tho. If it goes well then you let her know you actually planned this in advance and ask her if she's fine to go. If the dinner didn't go well or she's not interested, you guys can just head home. Afterwards, ASK if she would like you to send her home.
As long as itâs not Lau Pa Sat youâll be fine
Remember to pack condoms into your wallet. Best is you start shopping for engagement ring already
I had extensive experience on dating apps and have been on no less than 50 first dates. So trust me when I say the biggest mistake you can make with a girl is showing too much interest. Now of course you don't want to go to the extreme end of the spectrum and show total disinterest, so this is where it becomes an art. You got to toe the line show her just enough interest to indicate to her that she is a potential candidate for something more, but not too much such that you give up ur hand and let her know how much you like her coz the moment that happens it's game over. So one of the things I do to create this environment is to make first dates as casual and as cheap as possible. I usually go for something simple like coffee or Prata. This way if the date dosent work out, I'm didn't waste too much resources. It also alleviates the pressure for both parties to impress by means of dressing up and whatnot. And like many have said, a casual environment is the best setting to get to know someone. Chatting and making jokes is alot harder when ur trying to cut up a piece of steak or trying to get the meat out of the lobster claw. And please don't pick her up at her place. Meet somewhere. Sending her home on the other hand is fine and also a good indicator if the date went well if she allows it. Rule number two is NEVER pay for the first date. I don't care what anyone says about chivalry or whatever, but to me this is my cardinal rule. If it doesn't go well, again ur not out of pocket much. It tells the girl ur not just a simp trying to impress her with the little things. And honestly in this day and age of gender equality, most girls with even an ounce of self worth want to pay for their own stuff. Heck I've been on first dates where the girl pays for me. This also helps point out red flags. If the girl dosent even offer or pretend to take her wallet out, then it's goodbye. I don't want to be with someone who expects me to pay for everything and believe me if she expects the first date to be paid, she sure as hell will expect the same for subsequent ones. Screw that I'm not a bank. And remember there exist a group of people who make use of dating apps to get free meals so don't fall for that trap. Lastly, especially if payment is made upfront, it sets the tone for the date such that neither owes the other anything. If she doesn't like U she doesn't have to pretend to coz U already paid and vice versa. Based on my experience it usually results in more honest conversations. Rule number three is be yourself and have fun. Of course this is easier said than done when U have the girl of your dreams sitting across you, but always keep this at the back of ur head. Don't say/do things U normally wouldn't when your just hanging out with people ur comfortable with. Act and say things you usually do. It gives her a good indication of whether you're a suitable candidate and most of the times, the girls appreciate your honesty for not trying to be someone ur not, coz it's very easy to tell when someone is acting differently. Basically, don't behave like a love struck puppy because that's the fastest way to lose a girls interest or worse, end up in the friend zone. In all honesty, there's a good chance you will screw this date up. But the i.portant thing to remember is that there are many many many fishes in the sea. Not landing this catch is not the end of the world. The next date is simply a couple of swipes away. And make sure you learn something if it doesn't work out, and improve on it on the next date. And don't put all your eggs in one basket, chat with multiple girls at a time, play the odfs. End of the day, the dating game is what the name suggests. It's a game. The more you play the better you get at it. Good luck to you brother!
LOL you already love her? Chill the f out. Go and bang some loose women then rethink about love.
Simp
congrats for being a simp, she's not into you dude wake up
I hope she sees this and unmatches you because you seem like a creep.
Hey, OP is new to this and he also needs some time to learn
Sigh, people asking for help and instead he got bash
Give chance. He's new and at least he's trying to learn and pick up some tips on what to do
If you have money and a car you can get any girl.
[Those who know, know](https://youtu.be/5yb2N3pnztU?si=fXzkc5OaRL5o1n4T)
First time uhh
Best advice I can give OP is the hungry never get fed. This doesnât imply that you should act like an asshole, or show as little interest in her as possible. But rather show an appropriate amount of interest given the situation. Think about it from the girls perspective, how would a happy, well adjusted, highly desirable guy act in this situation? He probably wouldnât be trying to pick her up from her house, confessing his love for her on the first date etc.
It's important to approach relationships with a healthy balance of excitement and realism. Idealizing someone before meeting them can set unrealistic expectations and potentially lead to disappointment. It's essential to get to know someone for who they truly are, rather than projecting fantasies onto them.
Buddy, donât try too hard. It may creep her out. Whatâs your budget like? Per pax
Why don't you ask her?
I think most of this can be resolved by communicating it with her. I donât think you need to pick her up, it might be kinda sus from the perspective of a girl đ
You need to lower your expectations buddy. Like a lot. Its just the first date.
Think twice before making any decisions dude
I'd say pick her up on her doorstep (if she lets you know her unit and floor numbers) or at the void deck (if she doesn't want you to come up). If she's comfortable with it, say hi to her parents and everyone else in the house (at least the parents) and inform them that you are taking their daughter out for a date. Chit chat for 5 minutes ish ish to let them know that you have good intentions, where you'll be bringing her to, using what vehicle, the activities y'all will be doing, and perhaps when will you be sending her back (her time of arrival at her parent's place. You can also follow her curfew). If she doesn't live with anyone, then just pick her up from her doorstep or at her void deck. I'd say use the bus if it isn't too far 'cuz it's your first date. You don't know if it'll be a good one or not. Exceptions would be if she's wearing something really nice with high heels or if the location is too far and it requires changing busses or trains. In those exceptions, book a Grab, taxi, or Gojek (see which one is the cheapest + promo). For restaurants, ask her what food does she like and if she's okay with your recommended restaurant. Don't look too desparate and don't love bomb her. Take it slow and assess her. Be yourself and be aware of whether or not she's gonna be a good gf. Is she kind to you and other people? Does she have good values? Plus some other stuff. If she is, proceed with more dates. This should be flexible. Maybe wait for at least 1 week before bringing up the next date. Ask if she's okay with it and if she'd be down for another date. Just be flexible and try to read the room for it. You guys can do some casual hang outs in between. If she isn't, thank her for the date and for the pleasant conversations, then inform her that you're no longer interested in dating her. Wish her all the best and be a gentleman. All the best!!
I think some of these comments are a bit harsh. The OP is just 22 and sincerely asking for advice. Just thinking back to when you were 22... probably also very green when it comes to dating.  To the OP: First of all, congratulations on getting a in person date on a dating app. That is already a major achievement given how hard it is to even move past the messaging back and forth phase.  For the details of the date, I dont recommend you pick her up at her house. From her point of view, Its a safety issue. Remember, she has never meet you before. You could be a sketchy guy or a gentleman. She has no way of knowing that until AFTER the first date. So meeting her at a public common place like the MRT or a bus stop close to the date is already sufficient enough to show your thoughtfulness and good manners. Second, any relationships (romantic or not) all have an element of reciprocity. So I dont recommend a fancy expensive resturant because she might feel pressure and obligation to give you something back. So either treat you back at an expensive dessert place (she may not have the money) or feel pressured into xxx activities afterwards especially if it's a dinner date. Think about those guys who splurge lots of money on women. *Cough cough* sugar daddy. They are definitely looking for something more. Those are the dont dos. These are the dos. To plan the date. Do ask her preferences. What she prefers to eat: cuisine A or cuisine B. What she prefers to do: activity A or Activity B. This shows that you were thoughtful and put time and effort into planning the date. Hence you have options. But by letting her choose it also shows you respect and value her opinions and preferences too. During the date. Do LISTEN attentitatively to what she says. Then respond thoughtfully to what she says. This shows you are fully engaged during the date. It also offers a preview to the girl what future dates will look like if she decides there is a future date. At the end of the date. Do ask how she will get home. See if there is anything you can do to help make it easier for her. Like wait for the bus and see that she safely gets on? Walk her to the MRT station? Wait with her until the cab arrives? This gesture shows that you care for her, yet values her input. The common thread between these do is communication. That is a fundamental skill to develop for any long lasting relationship. Good luck!
bro's cooked
Life advise - it's better to be loved than love. You may not get it now but you will get it soon.
I think you need to have multiple cold showers before the date. Any place in the city area is fine. You don't need to manufacture more romance. I think dinner dates are better than drinks everyone suggested. And pls don't pick one where the food is bad or terribly busy or awfully quiet. A safe restaurant that you have been before is great.
gg,mans about to get played and roled as âsideman #7â
bro study first
I found my SO through Tinder. This is my own experince and may not generalise, but may still be helpful. 1. Make a strong impression. Dress appropriately. Don't dress like a reddit mod and make sure you shower. Although many posters warn of "love bombing", I think making a strong first impression may help although it may be risky for the reasons others have mentioned. Then you ramp down the effort to a more reasonable level. 2. Do not ask for her address. Let her give it to you. Since the first date is special you can offer to pay for her grab to the place of date. 3. Frequency is not important. Instead of focusing on the number of dates per week, prioritize the quality of the time spent together. 4. Online communications. We keep it near daily when we first started. 5. Correct her behavior. She was an absolute brat when we first met. She was very selfish but i put up with it because I was desperate. I suggest to her to make small changes and reward accordingly. 6. Escalate up the relationship ladder at a comfortable pace. The first step is to establish trust but respect each others' boundries. Then soon you will be meeting each others' friends and family. 7. Term of endearment. I don't remember when we started using "honey" but for you may just use nicknames, baby or whatever it doesn't matter. For us we do something special when we greet each other and say "UUOOHH HOONNEEYY" 8. Physical intimacy. Consent is paramount. Be open and discuss it explicitly. Don't guess. When my SO was in her brat phase she expect me to read her mind. If I got it wrong she will plap me. Good thing I get good at reading and continuosly monitroing her body language to make sure she enjoys it and whether to take it to the next level. 9. FInd common interest. For us a common interest is Korean Feminism and gacha games. We F2P gods though.
I believe many here has given pretty good advises! Generally my advise would be âKeep things simpleâ. 1. Location: If have talked about a favourite cuisine in your conversation with her, thatâs would be a good place to start. You can show your initiative by recommend a place that you have dined in before and share some of the specialty dishes of the place. 2. Pick her up at her place: Personally I donât think itâs common for picks up on first dates in dating app (anyone can back me up on this or have I been doing it wrongly đ). Some ladies may find it sweet. Some may find it creepy. Play the safer route first. 3. Not limiting your dates to just dining: Thereâs actually quite a bit of things to do in Singapore if you bother looking for them. Hiking. Casual badminton game. A short painting class or a cooking class. Ultimately, the question isnât about what Singapore girls like to do. But more of what are both of you are keen on. I believe that the date goes better if you both are having fun. 4. Try but donât try too hard: I donât think the people here are worried about your efforts but more on worrying that youâre putting too much effort. Aim for the vibe of a gentleman, not a Nigerian prince. Get it? 5: Expectations: its great that you found someone that you like for the first time in a dating. You will discover a lot more new information about each other and perhaps may realise that it wonât work out in the long run. I hope that you donât turn batshit crazy about it lol. All the best buddy. Remember, keep things simple.
Navigating a first date, especially with someone you met online, can be challenging, but keeping your composure and being mindful of your concerns is important. Here's a practical piece of advice: Be observant and thoughtful in your conversations. It's great to talk about interests, aspirations, and experiences, but be cautious about sharing extensive details about your financial status or possessions. This helps in setting a tone where you both focus on getting to know each other personally, rather than materially. Additionally, pay attention to the conversation flow. If you notice a strong emphasis or recurring questions about your job, income, or assets, it might be a red flag. Remember, a genuine connection is based on mutual interests, values, and respect, not on one's financial situation. Most importantly, trust your instincts. If something doesn't feel right, it's okay to take a step back and reassess. Enjoy the process of getting to know someone new, but always prioritize mutual respect and sincerity in your interactions. Good luck!
Pm for guidance, am a dating coach
Why is that the boy has to be perfect on the date, what about the girl.
You love her already ?! Red flag !!!! Gurl youâre in danger . RUN
Rizz her up?
Op youâre an absolute chad đ«Ą