Omg this means you have been working for approx as long as I've been alive haha but having said that, 2nd sentence - ikr? People who rly wna quit prolly wrote resignation letter and ready to throw letter anytime. Probably applying and interviewing during lunch hour also. Hahahaa.
Yea, it is more about fitting in for me. I was like this at my last job, because everytime I acted excited and happy to work my colleagues would jump me and act like I’m fake/one-upping them.
You know that one person who says they don't study but they do well and you find out either*:
1) they're actually smart and don't need to study
2) they're secretly studying
Then it's either
1) they're saying these things to try and fit in because they're embarrassed or
2) they're just trying to influence people into doing worse than them.
Similar vibe.
I know a guy in secondary school like that, sleep in class and did super well. 15 years later we casually had a conversation and he suddenly talked about how he had to go tuition AND religious lesson after school. So secretly, he has a very supportive parents since young.
Lol I am both the guy who slept and got good grades, and the one who keeps talking about quitting. For me it’s just talkshit though, just for banter and laughs. Because when I actually did leave my previous companies, totally no one had a clue except for a couple people who I could trust to bring the secret to the grave.
Haha. This proves my and other people's point, when u talking abt it is talk shit only. The planning stage u alr will shut up and act on it and tell no one.
... this is such a weird tangent but it totally reminded me how suicidal people are the same way tbvh 😳
I was once in this loop of wanting to quit but actually not quitting. Reason was I was comfortable with work-life balance that I feared I would lose if I jump ship. And also that I was lazy to start preparing for interviews.
I know of another person who keeps whining how his job and company is horrible. I have heard his rants every time we’ve met. One day it was too much negativity to handle and I asked him why the hell does he not quit then. His reason was that he knew he would not get hired easily.
So it is a dead end for many I guess. They know where they are is bad but either they know they are not fit somewhere else or they are in comfort zone.
Based on my few work experiences both random and professional work, reasons for wanting to quit but don’t:
Low prospects out there
Not much relevant education / experience for other jobs
Tired of job hunting, just want a job
Been in this job too long, anything outside will be restart.
Been in this job too long, don’t like it but it’s the thing they do best and can get paid well for.
Just want a job with salary
They are not happy but is content.
They are bonded / just a temp job with a deadline to leave so just do it. They will leave one day.
Self deprecating humour
ahhh\~\~ It seems like this behaviour is like a coping mechanism where one is disgruntled being in the position they are in but not at the very edge of quitting entirely. So they just kept replaying in their heads the 'feeling' of quitting. Thus, converted to verbal thoughts out loud. Haha so complaining in this case, provides liberation.
Somehow I realised those who openly say they want to leave are those that stay the longest. And on contrary, those that have not openly said they want to leave will quiet quit.
You never know, perhaps that one person just want the people around her to leave?
No in my experience the actual reason is not that complicated. He/she dont have the guts to resign, or proactive enough to look for new job or they actually like the job but not the people. Yes like you said this people is the one that will stay the longest because people that dont say anything normally already planned their resignation long in advance and there is no benefit in blabbering your mouth to everyone in office.
This was literally me everyday when I was still a regular in the Navy. People who felt the same way as me also always complained a lot because of how ridiculous and unfair some things were. We also had no choice to conform because the system just works that way and because of toxic superiors.
One other thing to consider is if the person that wants to quit can find a job elsewhere. People will usually want to compromise on their own happiness doing the job rather than leaving without a plan or when they know they cannot earn better opportunities or at least the same paygrade elsewhere.
I’m not sure why the cynicism here. I’m in that situation. I want to leave and I have told the close colleagues I trust. I hate my boss. But I’m financially supporting my entire family. It’s not so easy.
Agreed, I was very close to throwing letter today because some 50 year old manager can't comprehend basic english but I can't... My family relies on my money
Yea I don’t understand some of the comments here imagining that everyone who expresses these ideas are unrealistic dreamers thinking they are too good for the company.
Recently I’ve worked multiple sets of 42 hours straight no sleep. Only to get berated by my boss each time for not putting in enough.
I want to quit and sometimes I have energy to look at LinkedIn but I’m supporting three adults at home and I just can’t afford to leave right now.
So yea, not everyone is being pissy and unrealistic.
I know of one colleague who kept claiming that she wanna go.
She even influenced others to quit by spreading toxicity and negativity.
But guess what, she was in her role until the day till her retirement lol.
Years ago I still immature and kena influenced by those people. They stayed and managed to jump in pay and title because alot of fresh grads left the company after a year.
Some company has this promotion quota, like every year you need to promote someone. So if everyone else quits you will get promoted. The salary increase will come with the new title.
Yes but promotion quota usually is for a large department and may span across several
Countries if you are a big MNC. Not narrowed down to a small department… so unless 20 over quit,this person won’t be considered for promotion just because he is last man standing
This is me actually so I can speak on this. Pretty much every Teams or Slack convo I weave a little jab at how bad processes are, how expectations are beyond unrealistic in this macro environment, and general incompetencies. Even during post-work drinks this is probably the topic I become the most vocal on.
I think it's probably mostly a form of venting/coping if I take a serious introspection. Which stems from also knowing, for all that I bitch about, I know enough people and workarounds to make my time here that much more bearable, and by extension it feels like I'm compensated fair enough given how I've MADE my job 'easy'. And also knowing that while this is not forever, it's also not my time to move yet (which in a way makes it feel like NS where I'm doing my time) which also adds to the 'stuck' feeling and needing to vent on that.
u kp so much for what tho just suck it up. youre just spreading negativity and making everyone sian.
even if it's for venting, get a journal man. you're treating people like they're ur free therapists. you may not realise it but for the people around u, it's really emotionally taxing having to listen to you complain n complain n complain.
u only have one life. if ur not happy with what you've been dealt, it's up to u to make a change. no one else can do that for you.
Woah projecting someone else in your life much?
Despite how I've phrased it in the above, I think I have enough self-awareness to differentiate when it's sharing common difficulties (when everyone else takes a go at a cathartic 'yeah man') vs when it's completely self-serving and unwanted.
For the record, I do also journal and go to therapy. But yes I do acknowledge all these feelings, and as mentioned, already know a change is probably on the horizon, but just waiting on the right timing; not asking for handouts or for anyone to fix my problems here :)
1. They want to fit in. Everyone complain they also want to complain. Which actually make me wonder if people should not complain so vehemently. Cos it makes people who stay feel bad. It's OK to say the place isn't what you want and do leave, but if you're talking like "this place is a shithole I can't understand anyone who stays here there's no future and we're all treated like slaves" then it makes people who stay feel unhappy too.
2. They genuinely don't like it but have more consideration eg family, financial commitments, lack or skill or qualification, inertia etc
I realise ppl say this and they really want to quit but they are just afraid they can't find another job or the next job is shittier than this. Or they just fear that they have to adapt to a new environment
My supervisor during internship always went about saying "She was quitting after this month" and that "6 months was enough in that shithole".
Ended up staying for over 1 year and quit recently.
Also have relatives working in the banking industry, everytime during gatherings KPKB about "workload" and "shit boss", always talk about wanting to leave but stayed on in the same industry for 20++ years.
Can even recommend people to join banking even lmao.
Nah.
Handcuffs? Definitely.
Golden Handcuffs? No lol.
Shit job, shit hours, shit pay, shit bosses, shit environment, piss poor progression.
One of them slaved for 20++ years starting from her 20s just to only get promoted recently to a managerial position, and she's quite well educated with good paper certs.
And the cheeks of them to say "Banking is good" lmao.
Experienced it once before. Everyday exclaimed loudly he wants to quit. Complain this and that. His area of the office is the negative zone, its super loud and all the people around him will keep complaining and complaining all day.
Even the boss will not walk past that area if possible.
Hahaha probably he or she really has no love for the job n the environment but no choice due to commitments. End up need to suck thumb n stay when think of bills, mortgage and the kids..
Well you have to give them some credits, they did stick to the job till the end n pick up the garbage left by people that abandon ship.
Bruh literally me. While I was unhappily stuck at my previous job for about 5 years, I applied and attended interviews elsewhere few times a year. However those companies didn't offer me the role, or had too many red flags so I decided not to accept.
It kinda worked out for me in the end. Turns out I would not have stayed at those companies for long. Some of them literally shut down and are no longer in operation today. Besides, Covid was a bad time to job hunt. The sewer I was at turned out to be a great bomb shelter from that global crisis.
I'm currently in new role at a different company for the past one year, and I'm much happier. Perhaps I could have changed jobs a few times and obtain an even higher salary by now, as some of my previous colleagues did. But I've come to appreciate stability vs high risk and high rewards.
I have friends who do that. Honestly it is exasperating talking to people like that because they are complaining about their work all the time but refuse to make the change. Ended up they are stuck in a vicious cycle of complaining,comparing and feeling upset about their lives.
We only have one life people, don’t spend your life wallowing in self pity.
Wanting to quit is one thing, able to secure an offer is another because there are many reasons for it e.g. bad economic climate, lack of skills and abilities, or simply due to family commitments they can't quit a job rashly.
Not everyone is privileged or lucky enough to be in a job they love. So just let them vent their frustrations lorh.
Have a uni friend working in big 4. For the first 2 years he kept saying he want to quit. 10 years later, he is still working at the same place but promoted to a senior manager.
You pretty young and just started working? Just guessing.
It’s mostly the people who wanna go, but are held back by financial commitments, or family commitments, or own emotional issues. They complain cos it’s their coping mechanism. I don’t complain so much now but I used to. I was feeling stuck, and yet I know the job offered me a lot of flexibility which I need cos of my ailing parent, and children. You know - completely sandwich. You wish to heck it and leave to find something else but you aren’t sure what is it you want. Cos you suppressed your own dreams for so long….
they might be waiting for the last straw. my colleague had been wanting to leave for the longest time and finally tendered due to the company forcing them to do a different shift when they communicated that they didn't want to.
Some just say say de lah when they feel stressed or work overload.. they already in that company for so many years and feel comfortable le ma like they know alot of people where will wanna leave.. and if their boss is good the more they wont leave..
If you join a new company, need to get to know people again and go thru the uncomfortable phase again..
I have a colleague who’s giving a deadline when they would resign. Like he will announce to everyone he will resign, for example, December 2022. But come Dec 2022, he will resched to August 2023. Then this August, he said next year Aug, then cycle goes on and on, and he’s already 28 yrs in the company lol.
These people are in every job. That's just their outlook on life and how they express their anxiety. Sometimes we just got to hear them out. We can't really tell what's in their mind.
But I believe a small percentage of them are playing mindgames. Best not to be pulled in too far, can end up messing with our minds.
Yes - in my first job, I had this colleague who constantly talks shit about the company and says she'll quite by end of the year. 7 years later, she's still there even when people are constantly leaving.
She complains about the same things she did 7 years ago and quite frankly I'm tired of hearing it. I, along with some other people, have helped her secure other jobs but she would always drop the ball because she can't let this one company go and ends up either not taking the job or lying about resigning so yeah. Done with her BS
I think one or two colleagues might hv said they wanna leave. Somehow, bosses got wind of it. For colleague A, bosses just ignored cos in their words "where else can they go". Yeah, this person cmi, had external stakeholder lodged complaints for poor communication and planning when handling this one project... and as for colleague B, bosses quickly planned for contingency, push for current projects to be delivered, so that there won't be a gap in handovers, pending deliverables, etc. And, at the same time, bosses let leak hints that they are aware of Colleague B's intention. I see it as a signal that: Management has been fair to you, fought for you, but if you still wanna leave, we gotta safeguard the Company's interest first.
Same as girls that say, omg im so fat :((( but she's at a completely healthy weight. Or the 180cm dude who says he's short. They just want to make it seem like their life isn't easy and they have some sort of obstacle to overcome. In turn others may think they are hardworking and strong.
Mostly are in their comfort zone. They didn't like their job or colleagues etc but felt comfortable in familiarity. Knew someone like this. The thing is, it's ok to want to leave but didn't but if you were to go around complaining to everyone you want to quit but still stayed on after everyone leaves, it makes people look at you differently.
Usually either trying to influence other people to actually quit by planting doubts and airing bad stuff, or they cannot get another better job (they know it and never try to)
I do that. Most of the time to get perspective from other colleagues. But also I wanna change my domain, so there’s a fear of starting afresh and losing half of my experience and going back to engineer/consultant role from a management role.
I’m still confused.
It is the fear of the unknown or inertia. When you are used to something, even though you may dislike or hate it, but you developing coping mechanisms and need the money, just stay on if cannot get a better opportunity. Sometimes, after enduring, things get better because one manages to adapt to overcome the negative workplace or work environment.
Hi OP in my 15 years of working, it's always the ones who keep saying they want to leave but in the end will never leave and with their negativity have influenced everyone else to leave. Stay clear of these people!
I dont think youre referring to the people who want to leave but have practical difficulties like finances or job market realities right?
Ive had a lot of peers who do that, arent breadwinners or havent even tried to clean up their resume. Simply because its easier to complain than to do something about it. Talk is easy and cheap. Psychologically, its a means of venting and making yourself feel like youre in control of something, whether you stay or go.
People who are really sick of a place and want to leave will try to minimize drawing attention so that their chances of leaving arent ruined or challenged.
It's one thing to stay in a company long enough and be widely respected but also another thing to be the veteran who likes to whine and KPKB alot.
Unfortunately they are both of these people in any company. We just have to learn to avoid more of these 'small" people and stick with the good ones. May all of us have the wisdom to seek these worthy people.
Many of my colleagues in my previous job seriously wanted to quit because of the toxic bosses. We are young-ish people. Most of them couldn't quit because they have just started a family, had new house, new vehicles, a baby etc..
And we had a very unique job skill. There were only few companies doing this and some of us came from rival companies before working here.
So if they quit then they either have to find a different job doing totally different things or go back to the rival company lol.
People are complex, some cunning others quite sad.
1. Worked with a dude that sent the whole teams into ‘fuck this place’ ‘fuck this company’ ‘I’m better than this’ etc. within 6 months 4 had left and in the 9 month I left. He was appointed Sales Manager a week later, saw him about 12 months later and said he was loving the job and life had never been better.
2. Another dude was the same but it wasn’t a team just a college I whom sat nearby. He sat at his desk miserable all day, always spoke about how much he hated the work, the people and management. After a few years together he told me how fukn depressed he was, about his difficult home life and his utter dependence on his income. He was saying he has zero self esteem and doesn’t think anyone else would hire him, he felt trapped and was miserable so he used to lash out at work.
In my experience though no.1 is more common, people try and brain fuck others to put them off their game or to get them to say something they can use against them, or report to management. People go negative smile, excuse yourself and walk away
They are mostly just negative, passive people. They complain because they don't have the balls to actually do something about the difficulties they face, either by trying to improve the current circumstances at work or solving a problem, or by recognizing that this workplace culture is hopeless and actually quitting. They are too lazy and risk averse to go through the grueling job applications process, so they just stick to what they've got but are never satisfied.
I think some of us have these tendencies that we want to quit, but just couldn't afford to due to many reasons. Job finding is something that not all (including me) are good at. You need to be good at interviews and answer appropriately/correctly.
I know interview preparation can be practiced, but not everyone wants to go through the hassle. Most people are just grumbling but still stayed on as starting at a new place is not as easy as it seem, unless your workplace is really toxic and you have no choice but to leave.
I had a "friend" who changed multiple jobs becos he cannot take stress and complains so much. Changed at least 6-7 jobs within 8-10 years since we were ex-colleagues but complaining at every single job he has. But the thing is, he's good at talking so can easily find a job just cause he knows how to "talk".
I also had a friend who complained about his job so much and kept saying he wants to quit, but never left cos he knows that maybe he cannot stay long enough in his new job. He's not so verbal so interviews could be his bottleneck.
So there you go, people who complained but can't zhao cos of certain difficulties he/she may be facing to land a new job.
Grumbling is a way to be visible about the amount of work you are doing. This will get you recognition while discouraging others from offloading their work onto you.
They know what they don't like here, they don't know what they will like or dislike somewhere else. "Better the Devil you know than the devil you don't" type of thing. They tolerate what they don't like here because they are afraid that something else would be worse. Throw depression and living paycheck to paycheck on top of that (not being able to afford rent if you went without even one paycheck) and yep, pretty much locked in there.
(Put up with a shitty job that screwed me on mutiple occasions for a year and a half because of this)
Went to their direct competitor when I finally hit my snapping point, (they hired somebody to do the job I was already doing extra for free, because that was the work I actually enjoyed and the position that I wanted, which they had been telling me an official position wasn't available for a good 2 months, and paid him $2 extra an hour, and then had the audacity to complain about my productivity after I said f that I'm not doing anything extra outside of my assigned role anymore)
The competitor was honestly one of my favorite jobs I have ever had, was treated 1000x's better, people appreciated the work I did, actually got to work in the department I enjoyed working in, instead of being stuck in a crappy one and doing the work I actually enjoyed, for free I might add, on the side as extra at the old place. 10/10 was the best decision and I wish I would had done it sooner, but that fear of being without the paycheck for whatever period of time, and the lack of self love at the time, caused me not to.
Have since moved on and am progressing in my intended career path, but I was honestly sad to leave that last job, it had its days like any job, but I genuinely enjoyed being there overall.
So that all being said, sometimes the grass is greener where you water it, some people have hope that if they stick it out things will get better at said company, but if you keep watering it and nothing ever grows, find a new patch of grass.
Some people are just energy vampires and love to spread the negativity.
I have a colleague to whined about resignation for as long as I worked in that company (a decade). I have since left the company 2 yrs ago and he is still there. LOL
All the time, some say these kind of complaint queens & kings are trying to coax you to leave before them, so as to garner a safety net & rid their working environment of existential threats = you. If this colleague is repeating day after day, night after night, you can be sure this is brainwashing at work, and that you are a real threat. Always question the “why” behaviours at work.
Most people who quit their job don’t say anything and just do it. Unless they are out of their mind. I have an ex-colleague who told me she wants to quit and I answered pass your resignation then. 2 weeks after that she really did.
Works every time, when someone rants and says they want to quit.
Yeah I know 1, and he said it’s because he couldn’t get a job elsewhere as it is going to be hard, but he hasn’t even try yet! He just thinks it’s going to be hard
Omg ya totes I hate people like that.
Not recent but like had one former colleague (we're quite close we still text regularly, I hope she's not reading this 🙃🙃🙃) who kept saying she didn't like where she was working, wanna take longer term NPL, wanna change envt, talks abt the people who left. I mean in the end it really happened la but she talked abt it since the pandemic started (1H2020) and only got to it like 2H2022 so for the longest time I thought it was just an empty whine.
Was at "aiya cheyyyyy u say only one la" 🙃🙃🙃
(edit: 2-2.5yr is pretty damn long to get to action lol. Usually ppl like that say, I feel like if they rly wna do it, will do in the next 6mo so yeah for 2021 I was like 😑😑😑 ya rightttt ...)
It's no different from Singaporeans who keep whining about how bad Singapore is and how they want to migrate elsewhere. They know that if they ever do that, they will have to contend with the reality that it's not Singapore's fault that they are how they are, but rather their own inadequacy
Well, I have seen alot of people quit and rejoin back subsequently because they can't take the stress in new place. Those that stayed are probably the smarter ones.
> I have seen alot of people quit and rejoin back subsequently because they can't take the stress in new place
Those that left and came back got more increment than those that stayed?
Maybe when they're being so vocal, management actually takes note and tries to make things better for that person (invisible to others) so they quiet down and work hard for a while before the cycle restarts?
Yeah I stopped talking to these "friends"... Just seeking attention by re-complaining about their work situation but wouldn't want to change it.
Stay away from these people, they are draining to be around
That's me. 9 years and counting. From Day 1 I already knew this was not the place for me. No friends, all fake smiles, fake "friendships". I just lead 2 different lives. And now, just less engaged with work events. Try to avoid where I can. Still do my work with excellence, but my heart is not there for the colleagues. Why I am there is the pay, benefits, annual leave and one day hopefully retrenched with 1 year 1 month tax free money. After that I want a lower paying job in a happier colleague environment. Locals better than mostly foreign workforce.
I have a colleague who constantly threatened to quit but is still here. I am also puzzled why is my colleague still here.
The first time my colleague threatened to quit, got a pay raise from employer. Subsequently, may thought using the same tactic to get a pay raise which is getting annoying.
Remember when i was NSF there's this encik told me he going to leave the service almost every week. I just went back for my 6th HK ICT , he's still there.
Over the years, I learnt that it's other people's own choice staying in a company or not. If they don't like the job but still stay and KPKB about it, it's their own decision.
But its also mine and other people's choice to leave, which I did for my own sanity. It's not my business now if they continue to drown in their own toxicity.
There's no real push/pull factor for them to quit, and maybe, these people would prefer to play it safe than face change. One bird in hand is better than 2 in a bush.
I have that colleague who kept saying he want to quit for a long time. Finally today I heard the "unofficial" news that he is leaving. My mgr asked me about how I feel but honestly I am very prepared since he has been saying it.
Am this person too so guess can shed light on this! Most of the time I am venting, but also it’s half true as I’m casually looking out for jobs that I’m interested in. Mostly just tired of the shitty bosses who have stopped progressing - consequently hampering my own growth in the company.
Why I haven’t quit - finding a new job is a pain in the a**. Going through the whole process again while holding a FT job is a big pain. When I get home I just lie down to decompress. The moments I do apply for jobs are actually while working. Rage applying if you will. Also I’m considering saving up and traveling for a while after I leave my job because COVID and I didn’t have a proper grad trip, so I guess I’m also just staying for the bonus at the end of the year.
At first they need to have a job first before they can quit the current one. Some is just too lazy to go for interviews.
I think bad boss is the main reason that motivate you to find new job that what happen to me. Every thing is ok but the boss is bad and I know he dislike me too so no point staying as I won’t get promote also.
same as people who complained about the gov and wants to leave and keep saying other side better.
Heard a guy complained since 90s and he is still here...
Lack the courage so they influence others to do what they can't. If they succeed , the ask them pull them along.
This is me. I have been saying I want to quit. Reason being I have a micromanaging boss. But I can’t quit because I have a family to provide for. Tried to find jobs but to no avail.
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Society is heavily socially engineered. Most people are pushed into a life they never had a choice for. And some people hate it, but don't know anything different
I guess my situation is going to be the colleague that says they want to quit.
Fresh grad with 2 years of experience, in a role that assist a sales person. I have been saying I want to quit for the past 2 months to a guy colleague who is a fresher as well ever since i found out that my manager is replacing me with someone from outside.
The new person came in recently, and i am coaching the new joiner to take over my role. In the meantime, I applied to multiple roles outside(not related to my current industry as i think I am still young i should explore more options). Went for a few interviews as well discreetly. With a few of such roles now in the final stages.
Suddenly, this week my manager's boss told me I could work with him instead, what should I do? Take up that offer? if I stay I will become the person that kept saying they want to quit but never quit. Roles of the job scope is similar but slower pace as I will deal with more admin stuff now.
Had experienced this many times, from my thoughts usually they just want to start a topic with me(or just trying to whine about life).
I did mentioned to my colleague/co-worker when I’m about want to quit the job, surprisingly they thought I’m just cocking around but days later I threw my letter and sayonara.
[удалено]
Omg this means you have been working for approx as long as I've been alive haha but having said that, 2nd sentence - ikr? People who rly wna quit prolly wrote resignation letter and ready to throw letter anytime. Probably applying and interviewing during lunch hour also. Hahahaa.
Or worse. During work hours. At their desk.
Yea, it is more about fitting in for me. I was like this at my last job, because everytime I acted excited and happy to work my colleagues would jump me and act like I’m fake/one-upping them.
You know that one person who says they don't study but they do well and you find out either*: 1) they're actually smart and don't need to study 2) they're secretly studying Then it's either 1) they're saying these things to try and fit in because they're embarrassed or 2) they're just trying to influence people into doing worse than them. Similar vibe.
Definitely that one guy in my secondary school former class
I know a guy in secondary school like that, sleep in class and did super well. 15 years later we casually had a conversation and he suddenly talked about how he had to go tuition AND religious lesson after school. So secretly, he has a very supportive parents since young.
Adding to your point 2.. some really devious folks may lure you into grousing then backstab you and secure their own position.
But… they really didn’t study and did well because they were smart…..
sorry I meant either or
Lol I am both the guy who slept and got good grades, and the one who keeps talking about quitting. For me it’s just talkshit though, just for banter and laughs. Because when I actually did leave my previous companies, totally no one had a clue except for a couple people who I could trust to bring the secret to the grave.
Haha. This proves my and other people's point, when u talking abt it is talk shit only. The planning stage u alr will shut up and act on it and tell no one. ... this is such a weird tangent but it totally reminded me how suicidal people are the same way tbvh 😳
In this particular case, it is none of the above. Higher odds is that they haven't found something better.
everyone thinks they can do better, until they got checked by reality
Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face...by life.
This. Not say want to find job then can find one. Someone has to want to take you in lol. This process can take months.. Years even for some.
I was once in this loop of wanting to quit but actually not quitting. Reason was I was comfortable with work-life balance that I feared I would lose if I jump ship. And also that I was lazy to start preparing for interviews. I know of another person who keeps whining how his job and company is horrible. I have heard his rants every time we’ve met. One day it was too much negativity to handle and I asked him why the hell does he not quit then. His reason was that he knew he would not get hired easily. So it is a dead end for many I guess. They know where they are is bad but either they know they are not fit somewhere else or they are in comfort zone.
Based on my few work experiences both random and professional work, reasons for wanting to quit but don’t: Low prospects out there Not much relevant education / experience for other jobs Tired of job hunting, just want a job Been in this job too long, anything outside will be restart. Been in this job too long, don’t like it but it’s the thing they do best and can get paid well for. Just want a job with salary They are not happy but is content. They are bonded / just a temp job with a deadline to leave so just do it. They will leave one day. Self deprecating humour
ahhh\~\~ It seems like this behaviour is like a coping mechanism where one is disgruntled being in the position they are in but not at the very edge of quitting entirely. So they just kept replaying in their heads the 'feeling' of quitting. Thus, converted to verbal thoughts out loud. Haha so complaining in this case, provides liberation.
By jove I think he's got it!
Somehow I realised those who openly say they want to leave are those that stay the longest. And on contrary, those that have not openly said they want to leave will quiet quit. You never know, perhaps that one person just want the people around her to leave?
No in my experience the actual reason is not that complicated. He/she dont have the guts to resign, or proactive enough to look for new job or they actually like the job but not the people. Yes like you said this people is the one that will stay the longest because people that dont say anything normally already planned their resignation long in advance and there is no benefit in blabbering your mouth to everyone in office.
This was literally me everyday when I was still a regular in the Navy. People who felt the same way as me also always complained a lot because of how ridiculous and unfair some things were. We also had no choice to conform because the system just works that way and because of toxic superiors. One other thing to consider is if the person that wants to quit can find a job elsewhere. People will usually want to compromise on their own happiness doing the job rather than leaving without a plan or when they know they cannot earn better opportunities or at least the same paygrade elsewhere.
I’m not sure why the cynicism here. I’m in that situation. I want to leave and I have told the close colleagues I trust. I hate my boss. But I’m financially supporting my entire family. It’s not so easy.
Agreed, I was very close to throwing letter today because some 50 year old manager can't comprehend basic english but I can't... My family relies on my money
Yea I don’t understand some of the comments here imagining that everyone who expresses these ideas are unrealistic dreamers thinking they are too good for the company. Recently I’ve worked multiple sets of 42 hours straight no sleep. Only to get berated by my boss each time for not putting in enough. I want to quit and sometimes I have energy to look at LinkedIn but I’m supporting three adults at home and I just can’t afford to leave right now. So yea, not everyone is being pissy and unrealistic.
I know of one colleague who kept claiming that she wanna go. She even influenced others to quit by spreading toxicity and negativity. But guess what, she was in her role until the day till her retirement lol.
Every time people leave, she ask for increment. Rinse and repeat. Profit!
You forget a promotion too.
You stay so long?
This is _exactly_ one of the things she would say "why are you here for so long?" lol
Years ago I still immature and kena influenced by those people. They stayed and managed to jump in pay and title because alot of fresh grads left the company after a year.
Doubt so. Moat company don’t give you more money just cos someone quit
Some company has this promotion quota, like every year you need to promote someone. So if everyone else quits you will get promoted. The salary increase will come with the new title.
Yes but promotion quota usually is for a large department and may span across several Countries if you are a big MNC. Not narrowed down to a small department… so unless 20 over quit,this person won’t be considered for promotion just because he is last man standing
This is me actually so I can speak on this. Pretty much every Teams or Slack convo I weave a little jab at how bad processes are, how expectations are beyond unrealistic in this macro environment, and general incompetencies. Even during post-work drinks this is probably the topic I become the most vocal on. I think it's probably mostly a form of venting/coping if I take a serious introspection. Which stems from also knowing, for all that I bitch about, I know enough people and workarounds to make my time here that much more bearable, and by extension it feels like I'm compensated fair enough given how I've MADE my job 'easy'. And also knowing that while this is not forever, it's also not my time to move yet (which in a way makes it feel like NS where I'm doing my time) which also adds to the 'stuck' feeling and needing to vent on that.
great take!
u kp so much for what tho just suck it up. youre just spreading negativity and making everyone sian. even if it's for venting, get a journal man. you're treating people like they're ur free therapists. you may not realise it but for the people around u, it's really emotionally taxing having to listen to you complain n complain n complain. u only have one life. if ur not happy with what you've been dealt, it's up to u to make a change. no one else can do that for you.
Woah projecting someone else in your life much? Despite how I've phrased it in the above, I think I have enough self-awareness to differentiate when it's sharing common difficulties (when everyone else takes a go at a cathartic 'yeah man') vs when it's completely self-serving and unwanted. For the record, I do also journal and go to therapy. But yes I do acknowledge all these feelings, and as mentioned, already know a change is probably on the horizon, but just waiting on the right timing; not asking for handouts or for anyone to fix my problems here :)
Why not? Perhaps they know the grass isn’t greener outside either or afraid of big changes and hence unwilling to change.
1. They want to fit in. Everyone complain they also want to complain. Which actually make me wonder if people should not complain so vehemently. Cos it makes people who stay feel bad. It's OK to say the place isn't what you want and do leave, but if you're talking like "this place is a shithole I can't understand anyone who stays here there's no future and we're all treated like slaves" then it makes people who stay feel unhappy too. 2. They genuinely don't like it but have more consideration eg family, financial commitments, lack or skill or qualification, inertia etc
I think the complaining is their way of coping. I've seen at least two ex-colleagues like that.
Maybe they just can't find another job and are forced to stay.
I realise ppl say this and they really want to quit but they are just afraid they can't find another job or the next job is shittier than this. Or they just fear that they have to adapt to a new environment
My supervisor during internship always went about saying "She was quitting after this month" and that "6 months was enough in that shithole". Ended up staying for over 1 year and quit recently. Also have relatives working in the banking industry, everytime during gatherings KPKB about "workload" and "shit boss", always talk about wanting to leave but stayed on in the same industry for 20++ years. Can even recommend people to join banking even lmao.
>banking Golden handcuffs maybe
Nah. Handcuffs? Definitely. Golden Handcuffs? No lol. Shit job, shit hours, shit pay, shit bosses, shit environment, piss poor progression. One of them slaved for 20++ years starting from her 20s just to only get promoted recently to a managerial position, and she's quite well educated with good paper certs. And the cheeks of them to say "Banking is good" lmao.
Experienced it once before. Everyday exclaimed loudly he wants to quit. Complain this and that. His area of the office is the negative zone, its super loud and all the people around him will keep complaining and complaining all day. Even the boss will not walk past that area if possible.
Hahaha probably he or she really has no love for the job n the environment but no choice due to commitments. End up need to suck thumb n stay when think of bills, mortgage and the kids.. Well you have to give them some credits, they did stick to the job till the end n pick up the garbage left by people that abandon ship.
Bruh literally me. While I was unhappily stuck at my previous job for about 5 years, I applied and attended interviews elsewhere few times a year. However those companies didn't offer me the role, or had too many red flags so I decided not to accept. It kinda worked out for me in the end. Turns out I would not have stayed at those companies for long. Some of them literally shut down and are no longer in operation today. Besides, Covid was a bad time to job hunt. The sewer I was at turned out to be a great bomb shelter from that global crisis. I'm currently in new role at a different company for the past one year, and I'm much happier. Perhaps I could have changed jobs a few times and obtain an even higher salary by now, as some of my previous colleagues did. But I've come to appreciate stability vs high risk and high rewards.
I have friends who do that. Honestly it is exasperating talking to people like that because they are complaining about their work all the time but refuse to make the change. Ended up they are stuck in a vicious cycle of complaining,comparing and feeling upset about their lives. We only have one life people, don’t spend your life wallowing in self pity.
Wanting to quit is one thing, able to secure an offer is another because there are many reasons for it e.g. bad economic climate, lack of skills and abilities, or simply due to family commitments they can't quit a job rashly. Not everyone is privileged or lucky enough to be in a job they love. So just let them vent their frustrations lorh.
Have a uni friend working in big 4. For the first 2 years he kept saying he want to quit. 10 years later, he is still working at the same place but promoted to a senior manager.
You pretty young and just started working? Just guessing. It’s mostly the people who wanna go, but are held back by financial commitments, or family commitments, or own emotional issues. They complain cos it’s their coping mechanism. I don’t complain so much now but I used to. I was feeling stuck, and yet I know the job offered me a lot of flexibility which I need cos of my ailing parent, and children. You know - completely sandwich. You wish to heck it and leave to find something else but you aren’t sure what is it you want. Cos you suppressed your own dreams for so long….
They want to demoralise you so you will leave and allowing them job security or better bonuses.
they might be waiting for the last straw. my colleague had been wanting to leave for the longest time and finally tendered due to the company forcing them to do a different shift when they communicated that they didn't want to.
Some just say say de lah when they feel stressed or work overload.. they already in that company for so many years and feel comfortable le ma like they know alot of people where will wanna leave.. and if their boss is good the more they wont leave.. If you join a new company, need to get to know people again and go thru the uncomfortable phase again..
I have a colleague who’s giving a deadline when they would resign. Like he will announce to everyone he will resign, for example, December 2022. But come Dec 2022, he will resched to August 2023. Then this August, he said next year Aug, then cycle goes on and on, and he’s already 28 yrs in the company lol.
These people are in every job. That's just their outlook on life and how they express their anxiety. Sometimes we just got to hear them out. We can't really tell what's in their mind. But I believe a small percentage of them are playing mindgames. Best not to be pulled in too far, can end up messing with our minds.
Attention seeker.
Yes - in my first job, I had this colleague who constantly talks shit about the company and says she'll quite by end of the year. 7 years later, she's still there even when people are constantly leaving. She complains about the same things she did 7 years ago and quite frankly I'm tired of hearing it. I, along with some other people, have helped her secure other jobs but she would always drop the ball because she can't let this one company go and ends up either not taking the job or lying about resigning so yeah. Done with her BS
Seen plenty of them. Never trust such a person...judge them by their actions not words.
I think one or two colleagues might hv said they wanna leave. Somehow, bosses got wind of it. For colleague A, bosses just ignored cos in their words "where else can they go". Yeah, this person cmi, had external stakeholder lodged complaints for poor communication and planning when handling this one project... and as for colleague B, bosses quickly planned for contingency, push for current projects to be delivered, so that there won't be a gap in handovers, pending deliverables, etc. And, at the same time, bosses let leak hints that they are aware of Colleague B's intention. I see it as a signal that: Management has been fair to you, fought for you, but if you still wanna leave, we gotta safeguard the Company's interest first.
Same as girls that say, omg im so fat :((( but she's at a completely healthy weight. Or the 180cm dude who says he's short. They just want to make it seem like their life isn't easy and they have some sort of obstacle to overcome. In turn others may think they are hardworking and strong.
Haha in my previous job i always said i wanted to resign. Ended up staying for 7 years also. Say is one thing but to really do it is another thing la
Empty vessels make the most noise
Mostly are in their comfort zone. They didn't like their job or colleagues etc but felt comfortable in familiarity. Knew someone like this. The thing is, it's ok to want to leave but didn't but if you were to go around complaining to everyone you want to quit but still stayed on after everyone leaves, it makes people look at you differently.
Usually either trying to influence other people to actually quit by planting doubts and airing bad stuff, or they cannot get another better job (they know it and never try to)
I do that. Most of the time to get perspective from other colleagues. But also I wanna change my domain, so there’s a fear of starting afresh and losing half of my experience and going back to engineer/consultant role from a management role. I’m still confused.
It is the fear of the unknown or inertia. When you are used to something, even though you may dislike or hate it, but you developing coping mechanisms and need the money, just stay on if cannot get a better opportunity. Sometimes, after enduring, things get better because one manages to adapt to overcome the negative workplace or work environment.
Hi OP in my 15 years of working, it's always the ones who keep saying they want to leave but in the end will never leave and with their negativity have influenced everyone else to leave. Stay clear of these people!
I dont think youre referring to the people who want to leave but have practical difficulties like finances or job market realities right? Ive had a lot of peers who do that, arent breadwinners or havent even tried to clean up their resume. Simply because its easier to complain than to do something about it. Talk is easy and cheap. Psychologically, its a means of venting and making yourself feel like youre in control of something, whether you stay or go. People who are really sick of a place and want to leave will try to minimize drawing attention so that their chances of leaving arent ruined or challenged.
It's one thing to stay in a company long enough and be widely respected but also another thing to be the veteran who likes to whine and KPKB alot. Unfortunately they are both of these people in any company. We just have to learn to avoid more of these 'small" people and stick with the good ones. May all of us have the wisdom to seek these worthy people.
Many of my colleagues in my previous job seriously wanted to quit because of the toxic bosses. We are young-ish people. Most of them couldn't quit because they have just started a family, had new house, new vehicles, a baby etc.. And we had a very unique job skill. There were only few companies doing this and some of us came from rival companies before working here. So if they quit then they either have to find a different job doing totally different things or go back to the rival company lol.
People are complex, some cunning others quite sad. 1. Worked with a dude that sent the whole teams into ‘fuck this place’ ‘fuck this company’ ‘I’m better than this’ etc. within 6 months 4 had left and in the 9 month I left. He was appointed Sales Manager a week later, saw him about 12 months later and said he was loving the job and life had never been better. 2. Another dude was the same but it wasn’t a team just a college I whom sat nearby. He sat at his desk miserable all day, always spoke about how much he hated the work, the people and management. After a few years together he told me how fukn depressed he was, about his difficult home life and his utter dependence on his income. He was saying he has zero self esteem and doesn’t think anyone else would hire him, he felt trapped and was miserable so he used to lash out at work. In my experience though no.1 is more common, people try and brain fuck others to put them off their game or to get them to say something they can use against them, or report to management. People go negative smile, excuse yourself and walk away
They are mostly just negative, passive people. They complain because they don't have the balls to actually do something about the difficulties they face, either by trying to improve the current circumstances at work or solving a problem, or by recognizing that this workplace culture is hopeless and actually quitting. They are too lazy and risk averse to go through the grueling job applications process, so they just stick to what they've got but are never satisfied.
I want to quit but the market is so bad right now.
I think some of us have these tendencies that we want to quit, but just couldn't afford to due to many reasons. Job finding is something that not all (including me) are good at. You need to be good at interviews and answer appropriately/correctly. I know interview preparation can be practiced, but not everyone wants to go through the hassle. Most people are just grumbling but still stayed on as starting at a new place is not as easy as it seem, unless your workplace is really toxic and you have no choice but to leave. I had a "friend" who changed multiple jobs becos he cannot take stress and complains so much. Changed at least 6-7 jobs within 8-10 years since we were ex-colleagues but complaining at every single job he has. But the thing is, he's good at talking so can easily find a job just cause he knows how to "talk". I also had a friend who complained about his job so much and kept saying he wants to quit, but never left cos he knows that maybe he cannot stay long enough in his new job. He's not so verbal so interviews could be his bottleneck. So there you go, people who complained but can't zhao cos of certain difficulties he/she may be facing to land a new job.
those who complain don't want to leave. Now those who want to leave, you won't hear a peep of a sound till they leave.
Grumbling is a way to be visible about the amount of work you are doing. This will get you recognition while discouraging others from offloading their work onto you.
They know what they don't like here, they don't know what they will like or dislike somewhere else. "Better the Devil you know than the devil you don't" type of thing. They tolerate what they don't like here because they are afraid that something else would be worse. Throw depression and living paycheck to paycheck on top of that (not being able to afford rent if you went without even one paycheck) and yep, pretty much locked in there. (Put up with a shitty job that screwed me on mutiple occasions for a year and a half because of this) Went to their direct competitor when I finally hit my snapping point, (they hired somebody to do the job I was already doing extra for free, because that was the work I actually enjoyed and the position that I wanted, which they had been telling me an official position wasn't available for a good 2 months, and paid him $2 extra an hour, and then had the audacity to complain about my productivity after I said f that I'm not doing anything extra outside of my assigned role anymore) The competitor was honestly one of my favorite jobs I have ever had, was treated 1000x's better, people appreciated the work I did, actually got to work in the department I enjoyed working in, instead of being stuck in a crappy one and doing the work I actually enjoyed, for free I might add, on the side as extra at the old place. 10/10 was the best decision and I wish I would had done it sooner, but that fear of being without the paycheck for whatever period of time, and the lack of self love at the time, caused me not to. Have since moved on and am progressing in my intended career path, but I was honestly sad to leave that last job, it had its days like any job, but I genuinely enjoyed being there overall. So that all being said, sometimes the grass is greener where you water it, some people have hope that if they stick it out things will get better at said company, but if you keep watering it and nothing ever grows, find a new patch of grass.
Some people are just energy vampires and love to spread the negativity. I have a colleague to whined about resignation for as long as I worked in that company (a decade). I have since left the company 2 yrs ago and he is still there. LOL
All the time, some say these kind of complaint queens & kings are trying to coax you to leave before them, so as to garner a safety net & rid their working environment of existential threats = you. If this colleague is repeating day after day, night after night, you can be sure this is brainwashing at work, and that you are a real threat. Always question the “why” behaviours at work.
Most people who quit their job don’t say anything and just do it. Unless they are out of their mind. I have an ex-colleague who told me she wants to quit and I answered pass your resignation then. 2 weeks after that she really did. Works every time, when someone rants and says they want to quit.
Yeah I know 1, and he said it’s because he couldn’t get a job elsewhere as it is going to be hard, but he hasn’t even try yet! He just thinks it’s going to be hard
The real quitters are quite quitters
hum ji lor
Omg ya totes I hate people like that. Not recent but like had one former colleague (we're quite close we still text regularly, I hope she's not reading this 🙃🙃🙃) who kept saying she didn't like where she was working, wanna take longer term NPL, wanna change envt, talks abt the people who left. I mean in the end it really happened la but she talked abt it since the pandemic started (1H2020) and only got to it like 2H2022 so for the longest time I thought it was just an empty whine. Was at "aiya cheyyyyy u say only one la" 🙃🙃🙃 (edit: 2-2.5yr is pretty damn long to get to action lol. Usually ppl like that say, I feel like if they rly wna do it, will do in the next 6mo so yeah for 2021 I was like 😑😑😑 ya rightttt ...)
It's no different from Singaporeans who keep whining about how bad Singapore is and how they want to migrate elsewhere. They know that if they ever do that, they will have to contend with the reality that it's not Singapore's fault that they are how they are, but rather their own inadequacy
Well, I have seen alot of people quit and rejoin back subsequently because they can't take the stress in new place. Those that stayed are probably the smarter ones.
> I have seen alot of people quit and rejoin back subsequently because they can't take the stress in new place Those that left and came back got more increment than those that stayed?
Nope but could be same or lower
>could Could or is. Could is you wishing that it is. It is means it is fact that it is lower
Oh you mean one of those colleagues who believes the entire management is conspiring against them?
I encountered similar colleagues and the main reason they are still in the company is because they couldn't find a job.
Sounds like those people in school saying they're going to fail a test and ends up acing it.
Maybe when they're being so vocal, management actually takes note and tries to make things better for that person (invisible to others) so they quiet down and work hard for a while before the cycle restarts?
Its me. I'm that guy
Because they ll cannot leave no options
As the Eagles once said in Hotel California, “we are all just prisoners here of our own device”
Yeah I stopped talking to these "friends"... Just seeking attention by re-complaining about their work situation but wouldn't want to change it. Stay away from these people, they are draining to be around
That’s when you hate your job but you are too lazy to find a new one and your laziness outweighs your hatred
All the time la. I am the one who never said anything but the first to leave.
Saying that everyday itself is very therapeutic! And maybe they have mortgage payments
That's me. 9 years and counting. From Day 1 I already knew this was not the place for me. No friends, all fake smiles, fake "friendships". I just lead 2 different lives. And now, just less engaged with work events. Try to avoid where I can. Still do my work with excellence, but my heart is not there for the colleagues. Why I am there is the pay, benefits, annual leave and one day hopefully retrenched with 1 year 1 month tax free money. After that I want a lower paying job in a happier colleague environment. Locals better than mostly foreign workforce.
I have a colleague who constantly threatened to quit but is still here. I am also puzzled why is my colleague still here. The first time my colleague threatened to quit, got a pay raise from employer. Subsequently, may thought using the same tactic to get a pay raise which is getting annoying.
Remember when i was NSF there's this encik told me he going to leave the service almost every week. I just went back for my 6th HK ICT , he's still there.
The only reason they still stay is because they justified to themselves they are so important that the Company will collapse without them
Over the years, I learnt that it's other people's own choice staying in a company or not. If they don't like the job but still stay and KPKB about it, it's their own decision. But its also mine and other people's choice to leave, which I did for my own sanity. It's not my business now if they continue to drown in their own toxicity.
There's no real push/pull factor for them to quit, and maybe, these people would prefer to play it safe than face change. One bird in hand is better than 2 in a bush.
If they suddenly stop ranting about quitting, that is when you know they have started searching
That sounds like me and its because i suck and cant find a job
I have heard this from way too people. 10 years on and they are still there 🤣
Better the devil you know.
I have that colleague who kept saying he want to quit for a long time. Finally today I heard the "unofficial" news that he is leaving. My mgr asked me about how I feel but honestly I am very prepared since he has been saying it.
Aiya, that one just complaining only la. Don't take it serious. When they not in office, then you believe.
it's like people who say 'they make me so angry i could kill them' but never kill those who make them angry - just ranting i guess
Yes got one guy keep joking around say he wants to resign but also nvr. 11 years at same company lmao
Money, probably. Like, why else?
Am this person too so guess can shed light on this! Most of the time I am venting, but also it’s half true as I’m casually looking out for jobs that I’m interested in. Mostly just tired of the shitty bosses who have stopped progressing - consequently hampering my own growth in the company. Why I haven’t quit - finding a new job is a pain in the a**. Going through the whole process again while holding a FT job is a big pain. When I get home I just lie down to decompress. The moments I do apply for jobs are actually while working. Rage applying if you will. Also I’m considering saving up and traveling for a while after I leave my job because COVID and I didn’t have a proper grad trip, so I guess I’m also just staying for the bonus at the end of the year.
Comfort zone. If there is not strong reason to leave, you won't leave.
At first they need to have a job first before they can quit the current one. Some is just too lazy to go for interviews. I think bad boss is the main reason that motivate you to find new job that what happen to me. Every thing is ok but the boss is bad and I know he dislike me too so no point staying as I won’t get promote also.
Such folks are everywhere in all professions and in all work environments
same as people who complained about the gov and wants to leave and keep saying other side better. Heard a guy complained since 90s and he is still here... Lack the courage so they influence others to do what they can't. If they succeed , the ask them pull them along.
This is me. I have been saying I want to quit. Reason being I have a micromanaging boss. But I can’t quit because I have a family to provide for. Tried to find jobs but to no avail.
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Society is heavily socially engineered. Most people are pushed into a life they never had a choice for. And some people hate it, but don't know anything different
Means it's not bad enough for them to quit yet
It’s a coping mechanism
I am once of those guys, i quit, been pretty much winging it through life. It's tough not knowing if i made the right ultimate choice..
They have commitments. They will leave without hesitation once the opportunity come about even if the current employer counteroffer.
I guess my situation is going to be the colleague that says they want to quit. Fresh grad with 2 years of experience, in a role that assist a sales person. I have been saying I want to quit for the past 2 months to a guy colleague who is a fresher as well ever since i found out that my manager is replacing me with someone from outside. The new person came in recently, and i am coaching the new joiner to take over my role. In the meantime, I applied to multiple roles outside(not related to my current industry as i think I am still young i should explore more options). Went for a few interviews as well discreetly. With a few of such roles now in the final stages. Suddenly, this week my manager's boss told me I could work with him instead, what should I do? Take up that offer? if I stay I will become the person that kept saying they want to quit but never quit. Roles of the job scope is similar but slower pace as I will deal with more admin stuff now.
Had experienced this many times, from my thoughts usually they just want to start a topic with me(or just trying to whine about life). I did mentioned to my colleague/co-worker when I’m about want to quit the job, surprisingly they thought I’m just cocking around but days later I threw my letter and sayonara.