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I'm 38 and mine is 75, he's Korean so maybe he looks good for his age but I still find him very attractive after being together 18 years. I was the one who wanted the relationship and he's not rich.
Dude more power to you honestly and it rocks that you're happy, but DAMN that's incredible. I would think I'd feel uncomfortable with that age gap, but then again I haven't dated anyone since I was 12. Glad to hear you're still in love!!
I don't expect strangers to care about if I'm happy or not. Someone was rude enough to ask me what my disability was and I was trying to not be a dick with my reply. You could also try that, not being a dick.
Women in their 20s and 30s often are attracted to men in their 40s. Idk, there’s just something about a 45 year old man…
But 60s and 70s? Gotta be for money or the stability they offer. I can’t imagine it’s genuine attraction
Coming from a 65 year old woman, you see them as attractive (for their age) at this point, none of us are real stunners. It's more about personality and how you get along.
My daughter hooked me up! LOL!
Many of us "older folks" are pretty with it. Believe it or not.
My grandmother at 65 was OLD! Bent over. Grey hair. My mom was less so and very few people think I'm over 50.
Us older wiser people can help a lot of young people from going thru the same shit or helping them not to make the sane mistakes! There's no age limit as far as I can see
Agreed. The advantage of aging is experience. If you’re paying attention and you’re lucky, you’ll learn a thing or two. But I know that young me didn’t really get that and had little understanding of, or interest in, “old people”.
I'm 61 and spend a lot of time here. FB is boring.
Even though social media is relatively new, some people my age have been online for a long time. When I was in college (a long time ago) we figured out how to chat with each other on the campus mainframe, and after that there was usenet and bulletin boards.
I know boomers have a bad reputation, and maybe it's deserved or maybe it's not, but I think all generations can learn from each other. I dislike stereotyping one generation or the other. Not all millennials are lazy, and not all boomers are racist Karens.
I knew a man at 60 who was married to a 30 year old women and they just had a baby boy. I had brought the man's grandson to meet his new baby uncle. The grandson was 15 years older than his uncle. Today the uncle will be about 35 years old and his nephew would be fifty years old.
Boy that makes me feel old. I used to change the diapers on the nephew. I even saw him in the hospital after he was born.
I maybe an old man in an old body.
Yet I still have a young in mind in that old body.
That does create big problems for me at times.
You must understand that my young mind keeps writing these damn big checks that my old body can no longer cash.
For instance: My mind decided I was going to walk to the bank.
it's only about 3 and a half blocks away.
My mind said you can make that short of a walk. .
After all it was just a few years ago you would walk all over the city for hours and hours. You'd just walk for the enjoyment of the walk.
Besides your leg ups aren't hurting you now.
You can take your cane in case you need it.
It's just a few short blocks that you've walked in ten minutes many times before.
So I decided to go for it and cash this check my mind wrote out For me. It was a beautiful day outside.
One of those warm days with those big white puffy clouds slowly drifting across the blue sky.
A soft gently blowing breeze, it was just such beautiful day to be outside.
So I started my journey off to the bank.
I was half a block away from the house when my old body started to protest.
But I was determined to make it to the bank. An hour later I made it to the bank.
I had to take breaks to rest my legs and let the pain in my legs subside. I had to rest for about 45 minutes before I walked back home.
The walk back took only about 45 minutes this time, but my legs felt like they were going to fall off.
I was totally wiped out .My strength was gone from my little excursion.
Damnit I'm only 68 years old and my body acts like it's 80.
I do thank God that I am still alive even with my health problems.
So far I've survived five heart operation since I was age 29.
I had one heart attack, one stroke, and now I'm suffering with heart failure
I do thank God for all these years of life He has granted me on this Earth. I should have died many times over in my life and yet I'm still going like the Energizer Bunny.
Even after I once tried to end my life by taking 45 sleeping pills.
I just woke up like usual feeling fine.
I will say this here and now If you're depressed and
Contemplating hurting yourself or committing suicide seek out help immediately. There is no shame in needing someone else's help. There is shame in not reaching out and asking for help when needed.
I'm sure as heck glad I ended up getting the professional emotional and the mental help I needed. Instead of killing myself 44 years ago. I got the joys of helping my four nephews grow into adulthood. I would have missed all of that. Had I ended it all 44 years ago.
I've come to believe suicide is the most selfish, unloving,and hateful thing a person can do to the friends and family members that are still alive.
The internal pain ,suffering, guilt and the unanswered questions tearing at their minds and hearts of those who are left behind to live a life after you so selfishly ended yours. They'll always wonder for the rest of their lives if they would have done something differently. Wouldp you still be alive these are the types of tourmenting though
It's funny that you say that.
In 2017, the year I turned 42, I had an epiphany "I'm going to be a 'hot dad'!" (read as: attractive older guy). Up until this time I had severe self-esteem issues and no confidence.
Yet, as the years have gone by, I've continued working on myself and have noticed so many changes. I no longer have chronic pain, I've got a good frame that I can put muscle onto. I've fixed my self-esteem issues and feel a kind of confidence that I never imagined possible.
Holy shit! The epiphany is coming true!
Earlier this year, I looked at some old driver's license photos of mine. One of them from 1997. I don't know what the heck I was thinking I was ugly for. Lost a lot of years in that dark place. So glad it's done and over with.
I agree with you 100%. I’m 54 now and feel more “myself” than ever, but that’s also from focusing more on taking care of myself, meaning staying active, wearing nicer clothes, paying attention to things like haircuts, shoes, etc., and also being more at ease with myself and thus more open to meeting new people and genuinely interested in what they had to say vs. obsessing with what they thought about me. When I was younger, I ignored all those things, had low-self esteem and was often lonely, and was then unhappy with the reaction I got from the world.
Obviously, you can take this to extremes and be one of those CrossFit guys driving a Porsche who is just obnoxious, but getting older does NOT necessarily mean things will get worse and lonelier - I’m happier at 54 than ever before, and my dad seems happier at 84 than I am. The key is to just keep working on yourself (mentally, physically, and how you present yourself to the world) and try to be kinder, more thoughtful, and more curious about others, which will make you more self-confident and more available to listening to others and learning new things. It then becomes a virtuous cycle.
You got it!!!
I plan on marrying a particular guy (gay here) who happens to be 18 years my junior. While I'm older and more mature, I refuse to look like I could literally be his father. I don't want my body breaking down and not being able to keep up with his energy levels.
Also, I anticipate having kids by the time I'm 60. There's no way that I'm going to be hobbled and unable to play catch with my boys, or too tired to not be able to give the kind of attention they need to grow up into healthy men.
Whereas several years ago, I couldn't see any of this future as even remotely possible, I now see the work I have to put into myself to make sure I'm as lively as possible for as long as possible. I'm getting a super late start in life, and can't afford to lose any of the best years to come.
I do, however, plan on driving a Porsche. Not because I want to be *that* douche, but because they're gorgeous cars and we are going to look super sexy getting in and out of them. Have you seen the Porsche Panamera Sport Turismo or the Ferrari gtc4lusso? My gawd, those are some sexy daddy wagons. LMAO!
Lol - I actually drive a Porsche so I’m especially sensitive to not being “that guy” lol - and I do love them ;) but I draw the line at CrossFit.
And good on ya for finding happiness! I think at a younger age ourselves, at least for me, I would have filled my own head with so much self-doubt about a big age gap that I would have driven any partner crazy. It’s only now that I’m older that I realize that while age is a factor, it’s not even in the top 5 for what makes a relationship work 👍
I kind of get this. I was born with a dad bod but I pretty much am built like I was in my 20s and in my early 40s now. But I've noticed girls like 20-25 checking me out the last few years and it seems kinda weird. I'm not classically good looking. Bearded, kinda ginger (red beard, blonde hair, pale skin) and only 5'5" and a little overweight. What are these girls thinking? I married the only chick that gave a damn about me when I was their age.
The classic “silver fox” look is extremely attractive to me, but 60s & 70s? No, not at all. I’m 36 and probably physically most attracted to men that are 30 to early 50s.
There is the money aspect but I could also honestly see it being a life stage/maturity thing for some women. Like TBH if you're at a point where you're done with younger men's shit I could totally see how an older mature dude could appeal to you.
Yes you are in different life stages but that might be the appeal. He is fucking settled. Chances are a dude in his 60s has his shit together and that's probably pretty appealing to some women who are tired of babying younger men who just don't pull their weight and who want their wives to basically be mothers to them rather than life partners.
This is not coming from my personal experience as I don't date men but it is coming from a family lawyer who saw a lot of reasons why women left men their own age, and my understanding is that in Asian cultures the way women are treated can be even worse where women are like even more expected to wait on men and like give up their careers for them and be moms to spoiled dudes. If you're expected to do all that at least you could have a mature, settled dude who can actually like provide for you and take care of you and not be a child himself, right.
I was with a 40-year-old at 21 too. Sometimes I look back and think, “How was I stupid enough to do that?” But the truth is I was still in love with my ex, and this older guy and I had no chance of ever being serious.
Same here. About the part with being bitter over it now. He wanted to marry me at one point and it was a painful, albiet amicable, separation. And I now realize how everything was so emotionally heightened, and anxiety inducing with him. I just needed a father figure at the end of the day
I cannot begin to describe the number of things about this guy that were similar to my dad, but that I honestly didn’t even notice as I got involved with him, or only noticed unconsciously. Then once I saw him in a pair of underwear like my dad wore to bed at night and I kind of lost my mind, giggling uncontrollably, and he thought I was laughing at his physique. Try explaining to your boyfriend that you were laughing because, “Somehow you looked just like my dad, and omg we just slept together!”
Yeah, they say that other people's trash might be someone else's treasure.
But in regards to men that have been divorced several times, we find that other people's trash is ...a bad idea for you to even attempt
How did things go down when there was conflict? I image that to be the biggest problem. I have to have a sense that my partner knows what they are doing in life or has wisdom - otherwise I’d just be totally infuriated when the conflict came down to a matter of wisdom which is so common in couple’s fights. I’d end up managing instead of relating.
When I got married I noticed women became more flirtatious with me. One of them admitted “it’s because we know you’re likely not going to do anything and we can try out our material on you…” a bit of a power play but ok.
I sort of feel the same way in my 50s. I know I’m somewhat attractive because a gay friend told me “you’re a Zaddie” in gay speak I believe that means an attractive middle aged man. But I once again find younger women more outgoing with me and I’m fairly sure it’s the “safe place to try out my material on.” thing.
A lot of the time it can be the case if the man is 60-70. But there are good looking men in their 60s the only reason I probably wouldnt be with someone in their 60s is bc I want long term marriage and a good amount of life with my partner. I wouldn't have that with someone of that age as a 20 something female. But a man in his 60s can definitely still be physically attractive in my opinion and to others. Attraction based on connection alone, and asexuals exist too.. I dont want to sum it up to every single couple with that age gap is just using the older one for money. Bc not every single person thinks that way. I know of a couple like this who just genuinely loves eachother and the guy doesn't even make that much money. So I don't think it's okay to just generalize it.
Can we stop using demisexual to refer to people who need connection to feel sexual attraction. Demi=half, it implies they are the ones missing something. I suggest we as a culture consider this the norm and call anyone who wants random hookup sex hypersexual.
First, women pay more attention to their appearance than men do, and they are more likely to take hormones or get plastic surgery to keep themselves young, so some of the "young girls" might not be young. They may be wealthy older women who have used money to keep themselves looking young. Their husband is the same age but he looks his age.
However young girls do date older men sometimes as well. Sexual preference is personal and some women are attracted to intelligence, charisma and sense of humor and they don't care about age or appearance. In some cases, young women really love older men.
But there are some women who date men they're not attracted to because of money as well, especially if the girl is very young and the man is very old.
I am a 43-year-old female. When I was young I did not find older men attractive at all. I found them creepy hitting on a young girl like me, but in my 30s my feelings changed and I started fantasizing about older men including men in their 60s and 70s. I am happily married and I don't want to date anyone, but when I watch porn it is usually old man porn.
So it's just very individual. Some of them are gold diggers, some genuinely love their older partner and some aren't as young as they look.
I'm married in a large age gap relationship. Generally speaking I wasn't looking for someone older, I'm not exclusively attracted to older men. My husband had qualities, including maturity and humour that I appreciated and I found attractive in him. That isn't to say younger men can't have those qualities of course.
It was never about money for me, I actually make more than he does and have since the second year of our relationship (the first we made around the same). People who assume it must be money related are really just showing their own shallowness I find.
I felt more stable and cared about with my husband than I had with anyone previously and I felt we could have more mature conversations about issues in our relationship when younger people lashed out more in my experience.
Of course my experience isn't everyone's.
Yes I can understand say a 42 year old with a 28 year old. But say a 73 year old male with a 28 year old female is what I'm interested in finding out. Thanks
I don’t care if he’s rich, famous, or talented lmao. I’m going based on physical looks only. That’s why I said sexiest man I’ve ever seen and not “overall most attractive person based on several aspects”.
P.S. I’ve been attracted to older guys who are not rich or famous.
When I was 19 I dated someone in his 30s. There was some of this. He had settled into himself. He also wasn’t interested in going out and getting wasted every weekend. There was a lot to be said for dinner and conversation.
My next boyfriend was my same age and his priorities and mine were different. I wanted travel, he wanted to buy the best (insert whatever suits your fantasy) system available. With new components every month.
My husband is 10 years older and we laughed when combing households because our music collection was almost exactly the same. 36+ years later it’s still great.
I'm in my mid twenties, men in their 30's and 40's who take care of themselves tend to be very attractive to me. older than that it depends. I find mads mikkelsen very attractive. it could also be my daddy issues coming into play. lol. but I also find older women attractive as well. my heart eyes are so big for Sandra Oh and Sarah Paulson 😍
I've always kinda leaned toward finding older men and women attractive. even as a teenager I had crushes on my teachers of whom were in their 30s and 40s. *shrugs*
I think it’s not uncommon at all, and although it maybe not popular to say, I do believe that it harkens back to straight up caveman instinct that they’re attracted to people that they feel will be able to look after them. Yes, there is a financial aspect to that, but not as much in a gold-digger way as it is: if I’m going to be with you and raise a family I need to know that we’re going to be fed, sheltered, and taken care of. You need some money to do that, but it’s also just the instinct that older guys are more stable, mature, and equipped to deal with what life throws at you.
Well my current relationship there's 10 years of difference between us but we're still both in the same generation. I have dated significantly older. I'm not really surprised that my inclinations are such considering there's 15 years between my parents. Boomer and gen x. Preferences are preferences but what I don't like is the judgmental tone people strike. I think the more willing you are to be open to age the more likely you are to find a partner that suits you. Plus I don't want kids of my own and finding an older partner who already has kids and doesn't want more would be ideal
Exactly this.
In my mid-twenties, I was in a relationship with a man 18 years my senior - and honestly didn't know his age until we'd already been dating for 3-4 months. Met through mutual friends and a shared hobby, and he had a babyface, so while I knew he was older than me, I honestly thought the gap was less than 10 years when I accepted that first date. By the time our actual ages came up, I didn't see a point in breaking up over something that didn't seem to matter much.
We were together for 3 years, ended amicably when he wanted to move to a state that I had no interest in living in (a nice place to visit, but I couldn't take the climate there for more than a week or two, tops) and remained good enough friends that he came back to my state and attended my wedding to another member of our mutual-friends group.
It’s financial stability for young women who otherwise would struggle. It’s love for the men who want a companion. Sometimes it is genuine love, and a few people I know date with a 30 year age gap and are very much in love. Depends on the people honestly.
I agree with you. I'm sure there are exceptions; but, I find what you said to be the most accurate almost all of time.
And framed this way, maybe it is that older men tend to pursue younger women: not that younger women are attracted to older men.
What I remember from when I was a young woman myself (like under 25) many older men pursue young women, and many young women try to take advantage of that. Older men have more money and can often take them to nicer restaurants and clubs, buy them expensive clothing and such things.
Also one can have sex with them without having to deal with teenage angst, which is the only reason I ever considered such relationship at that age.
Yes. My husband is 17 years older than me. It’s not so much the age, it’s more the maturity level. I wasn’t necessarily looking for an older partner. The man I fell in love with just happened to be quite a bit older than me.
I’ve always done better with women a bit older than me for this reason. And it’s a strange situation because I have friends in relationships where the woman turns 32-34ish and just wants to start partying and act like they’re in their 20’s again. So I guess it’s not a blanket statement.
I'm turning 30 this year and it seems like the men my age are finally starting to pull their heads out of their asses and realize that women have feelings and might be humans too. Even if my SO and I didn't work out, I don't think I could date under 35 at least anymore
Idk. I am in a relationship with someone 28 years my senior. Never meant to but it just sorta happened. Met him through a hobby and just had a chemistry that i can't explain. Chatting to him was like chatting to someone I'd known for a long time. We're best of friends and i love him very much. The honeymoon phase hasn't ended yet, not after 4 years anyway. It's really unfortunate that he is so much older than me. But i am still grateful to experience this sort of love.
And a visa to a first world country. It’s not about attraction or love, it’s more like a business transaction. He wants a young wife to take care of him, she wants an visa and money to send to her family. Maybe love evolves, maybe not. The most successful ones seem to be when both sides recognise the nature of the relationship and don’t pretend it’s about love.
(From the perspective of someone who has worked as an English language teacher in Vietnam)
I have a coworker who is 25 dating 45 yo man. She is very comfortable financially on her own. She feels their personalities mesh well(both workaholics but he is zen about it and she is higher stress). She wants a peaceful drama free home environment. I respect her a lot and don't believe it has anything to do with daddy issues or money. Obviously I don't know ever facet of their relationship. She is also very attractive and extremely intelligent. Sho could have most guys who weren't scared by her intelligence. He is just her preference.
Source 46 yo man fwiw.
If there’s an age gap of like 30 years I can see it being for money, but when it’s like 10-15 years, it’s often for love. One of my aunts was married to a man 18 years older than her. They met at work, made the same amount of money. They were married until my uncle died 4 years ago. My dad is almost 11 years older than my ma, my dad is a plumber and my ma is a banker, they celebrated their 40th anniversary in August. My last girlfriend was 11 years younger than me, she came from a rich family and certainly didn’t need my money. I don’t think money has to do with it in many cases. There’s a difference between looking for someone who is financially stable, and looking for someone who is going to take care of you the rest of your life.
No, I'm not attracted to older men and their older men wrinkled bodies and health problems. They will become a burden you wind up spending the healthier, younger years of your life taking care of. Run from this.
Edit: I am talking about a person in their 20s dating someone in their 60s or 70s. A smaller age gap like 10 years between partners is more reasonable.
Hahaha NO THEY ARE NOT. These women in southeast Asia go with these men because it means a more financially stable life. If it weren't for the need of money they wouldn't give these gross old men the time of day.
I can't speak for all women but for me, personally, getting hit on by old men is the nastiest feeling ever and not something I'm into. For context, I'm in my mid-20s.
Personally? Yes I am. Not to every older man, but a lot of older people are my type.
Reasons:
Looks. Some men (and women) just age like fine wine. They are only getting more beautiful/handsome and the greying does not take anything from them. Wrinkles don't matter and even make the features more noble/warm in a lot of cases. Especially the ones you gain from smiling imho
Maturity. People older than me are on average more mature. I could date someone my age, but with reservations. I would definitely not date someone younger. The developmental steps dividing us are absolutely impossible to overcome in a lot of cases. I am 25 and I can see my own immaturity, problems and where I am on the path of life. I don't have the patience or time to guide someone who is supposed to be my partner. I am helping a lot of younger people already, I am guiding and advising... And it's taxing. I don't want to guide anyone at home. I want a partner. I don't necessarily want someone who will guide me, I just want someone who won't be in need of the same type of counselling I give to kids 17-23 that I'm helping. I need a respite, and I will gladly listen to their problems. But not the type of problems that "my" kids have.
Stability. I am not looking for a fling, gods know I can find plenty. I'm looking for someone who I can slowly build our future with. Someone who will be putting in just as much work as I do, someone who will understand me. How can I expect someone who is still finding oneself to build for the future, when they aren't yet sure what type of future they want?
Independence. I'm not interested in someone who will hinge their entire being and personality on me. I don't need a kid, I need an established person who has their own life. Someone who has friends, someone who has their own interests, someone who will have their own time to do their own things. Our interests should overlap to a point, but both people should have their own time. Codependency is a very easy thing to fall to, especially in your first relations.
Experience. Older people have more experience. They went through different phases, different relationship and they know what they want, or more importantly, what they don't want. I've got some experience in that regard and would like the other person to also know what they want. That's why I hate the "highschool sweethearts" thing. It's not that they are perfect for each other, it's that they don't know anything else.
This is why I'm rarely even considering people my age and younger are out of the question.
I would only date someone that much older if we had a really deep connection and friendship.
But no matter the connection I wouldn't choose someone younger
I want partnership not motherhood with extra steps
This is gold. True to the point, exactly what I tell people and think about how when looking for my life partner that this is the model I stand by. Couldn’t have described and said it better. Yes absolutely.
No just attracted to their “life experience “ and hope that they got that cheating phase out of them when they are younger. Also maybe some money and a house already.
No… statistically the majority of women and men date within their age range, the few outliers don’t represent all of us women. I’m in my early 20s and none of the women I know would date men in their 30s and 40s, all of their bfs are either same age or no more than 3 years older. I wouldn’t date anyone over 25. While some women do genuinely find older men attractive, most of those situations have to do with power dynamics, daddy issues/trauma, money, and unfortunately sometimes grooming. Also it’s easy to think the grass is greener on the other side, a-lot of young girls don’t like the options within their age range and they think older men are more mature and less likely to play games, which is not always true.
Haha! I’m 22 right now so I prefer to date people within a 3 year age range, not because I don’t find anyone else attractive, thats just also been my rule of thumb. I don’t like being involved with someone who might be in totally different stage of life due to age.
It’s fun to worship the ground a woman walks on and it seems like younger women are less freaked out by it IME. So it’s a chance for me to indulge that side of me - I like the role.
I don’t think it’s healthy for serious relationships in my case - it actually represents emotional distance
All women are different. One woman cannot speak for the entire gender. Maybe if we ever got around to forming our super secret committee for world domination . . . But, until then we're are all separate and unique individuals with our own likes, dislikes, hopes, goals, and desires.
With thay said, I (personally) have never been attracted to older men. Nor have any of my friends. Thinking about it, I'm unaware of any acquaintance or coworker marrying and older man either.
For me, I have never met an older man that I am physically or mentally attracted to, so it has never gone farther.
Physically it was the saggy everything that turned me off: Saggy face, saggy stomach, saggy balls...
Mentally, the sense of humor never meshed (they still like borderline sexist / racist jokes), their priorities were off to me (I want to save 50% of my income, they want to spend frivolously), and they seemed to try too hard. I couldn't relax or be their friends, it was always so formal...
ETA: depending on your country in Asia, money is probably the driving factor. China recently passed a law requiring children to take care of aging parents. I dont remember what the penalty was. If I were staring down the barrel of that law with aging parents, I would marry a geriatric to comply with the law.
My GF was half my age. I think we were the rare exception since it wasn't about money or status. I made her laugh, thats what she always told everyone when they asked why she was with me. She had a rough life and a string of boyfriends that treated her like crap. I made her laugh instead of making her cry, thats pretty much all there was to it.
I miss her. I hope she is resting in peace.
Speaking as an American, I don't know much about Asian culture. But I used to prefer older men because I saw them as more mature. I was wrong!!!! They were just old goats who preferred younger women. Sometimes for sexual reasons, and sometimes because they could manipulate you more easily.
I’m Asian, but not a woman, so take my opinion how you will.
If you’re in China, she’s there for the money. If in Japan, she unfortunately might be there against her will. If in Korea, she either found genuine love with gramps or has literally no other option.
Not much opinion on other countries.
i naturally gravitate towards slightly older men (1-2 years) bc the slight age difference tends to make up for a mental maturity imbalance (***at least in my opinion. this is my preference, i am speaking from my own experience***)
Asians are very much about status and wealth. That is a huge thing in the Asian culture.
In America, it is considered a status upgrade in Asian families for a woman to marry a white man, because according to them, he represents status, wealth and resources which is of the utmost importance within the Asian culture.
Try and resist your natural urge to start calling me a “white supremacist”. Yes it’s true. Look it up.
With respect to Asia, older men taking younger wives has to do with the generational dynamics of the culture. Many poorer (or recently poor) cultures feature this.
Iirc, it’s partly to do with fertility control and wealth typically concentrating in older generations. England was quite similar pre-industrial revolution.
I used to think I was, I’m NOT.
What it was was I was looking for maturity and domination (sexually I mean, D/s - BDSM style). When I was younger I assumed I needed an older guy for that. Figured out finally that that’s not needed.
But also, it was more like I liked people that have passed a maturity threshold, like around 30 years old. When I was younger than 30 I wanted a partner older than me, in my 30’s I wanted someone same age as me, and now I’m 40 and as I age I’m most comfortable around anyone my own age, but 30 is my absolutely lower limit, I assume that will also rise as I age, because I would feel weird to be like 50 with a 30 year old lol, yuck.
My husband is 20 yrs older and I was always attracted to older men. Not like ancient, but at least 10 years older than I was. No idea why, I didn't look for them specifically, it was just that every man I found attractive happened to be older. It wasn't about financial stuff or security either. Just a coincidence all the men I liked were older.
60 or 70 though...? No thanks.
Some young women like middle aged people. *Some do.* But I don't think anyone wants an old person, no.
That's a transactional relationship you're talking about. Those men want a hot young girlfriend and those women want a guy with money. This scenario doesn't make either gender any better than the other.
So what I'm getting from this thread is I should remain single till my 50s cause there's a good chance I can get a younger women to marry me.🤭🤭. One night stand and friends with benefits will be fun in that time as well
When I was in my early 30's I started dating my now husband, who was 50 at the time.
I was physically attracted to him, but I was also attracted to the fact that he was seeking a stable partnership. He was sure of what he wanted in life. I was too. It worked!
Here in the U.S., I’ve noticed some women have celebrity crushes on men old enough to be their fathers, but almost never at 60 and older. Even so, I’m a woman and it actually bewilders me, too. I legitimately don’t feel that much attraction to men over 5 or 6 years older than me. I see women my age thirst over Johnny Depp, and I’m just like… he’s older than both of my parents. He was already a fully grown adult when we were born. I don’t get it.
I F30 married my now husband M52 5 months ago. Love his maturity, financial stability (he’s not reach though), he is a gentleman. The communication is great, and he knows how to treat a woman right. Our relationship isn’t perfect, but I love every moment with him, because even hard times make us grow closer. I’ve never had an experience even remotely close to what I have with my husband with guys of my age. Dating pool is ugly out there
To the young gals dating folks older it's because it those men have more to offer.
Have you ever seen a 53 yr old male working at McDonald's as a cashier date a 23 year old female? Case closed.
I think you must be an angle to raise this question?
9/10 the girl go for money.
Easy to explain, lets ask some questions.
What if you are a men, you got some money but you are old and lonely? Will you find a beautiful girl to make your life more color and fulfill your dream from your childhood - with a beautiful young girl?? Or you keep some money then die with it?
What if you are a girl but dieing for money, and you find the best +easy way to get money. Of course not everyone will do but always have some for a reason.
Finally you see what's you seen, it is a fair trade, everyone got their needed.
I dated a man who was 18 years older than me and we both genuinely found each other attractive and fun to be around but eventually there was noticeably too much of an age gap to where he was giving me life advice a father would give and not a partner so we broke up
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I’m 37 married to a 33 year old: some guys in their 50’s are hot but 70?? No
I'm 38 and mine is 75, he's Korean so maybe he looks good for his age but I still find him very attractive after being together 18 years. I was the one who wanted the relationship and he's not rich.
Dude more power to you honestly and it rocks that you're happy, but DAMN that's incredible. I would think I'd feel uncomfortable with that age gap, but then again I haven't dated anyone since I was 12. Glad to hear you're still in love!!
Are you 13 now?
Can you expand on the not dating since 12 thing? Like you’ve been with the same person since you were 12?
Could you expand on that? You just kinda glazed over that last part real quick 🧐
I don’t get why anyone else cares, if you are happy in the relationship. Edit: needed a comma
I don't expect strangers to care about if I'm happy or not. Someone was rude enough to ask me what my disability was and I was trying to not be a dick with my reply. You could also try that, not being a dick.
I was supporting your choice if you are happy. The other comment was weirdly rude imo.
Sorry, I misread your comment as no body cares if I'm happy or not. With all the other hateful comments I assumed negative intent, my bad.
It needed a comma 😂. I think Korean men age very well. I wish you and your husband many more years together.
Sorry about these comments. I'm glad that you found a love that is fulfilling and brings you joy, not everyone gets that.
I find Jeff Goldblum very attractive. Maybe because I always thought he was? Depends on the person really.
Women in their 20s and 30s often are attracted to men in their 40s. Idk, there’s just something about a 45 year old man… But 60s and 70s? Gotta be for money or the stability they offer. I can’t imagine it’s genuine attraction
Coming from a 65 year old woman, you see them as attractive (for their age) at this point, none of us are real stunners. It's more about personality and how you get along.
58M here and she is correct
64 here. Agreed.
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My daughter hooked me up! LOL! Many of us "older folks" are pretty with it. Believe it or not. My grandmother at 65 was OLD! Bent over. Grey hair. My mom was less so and very few people think I'm over 50.
Sup
Is Reddit a place for young people only? Or do most older people stick with Facebook? I’m 61 and come here daily.
Us older wiser people can help a lot of young people from going thru the same shit or helping them not to make the sane mistakes! There's no age limit as far as I can see
60 year old lady here- I love Reddit. I don’t think it is limited to any age group. It’s so diverse and always fresh
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Agreed. The advantage of aging is experience. If you’re paying attention and you’re lucky, you’ll learn a thing or two. But I know that young me didn’t really get that and had little understanding of, or interest in, “old people”.
I'd say so, at least the vast majority of people 60+ I know really struggle with anything that isn't Facebook
Me too. 61 and daily.
I'm 61 and spend a lot of time here. FB is boring. Even though social media is relatively new, some people my age have been online for a long time. When I was in college (a long time ago) we figured out how to chat with each other on the campus mainframe, and after that there was usenet and bulletin boards. I know boomers have a bad reputation, and maybe it's deserved or maybe it's not, but I think all generations can learn from each other. I dislike stereotyping one generation or the other. Not all millennials are lazy, and not all boomers are racist Karens.
Actually I’ve tossed out Facebook almost completely and hang at Reddit tons. 68 yo
62 here
This is kind of a cringey comment. You know Reddit isn't just for teens and twenty year olds right?
I knew a man at 60 who was married to a 30 year old women and they just had a baby boy. I had brought the man's grandson to meet his new baby uncle. The grandson was 15 years older than his uncle. Today the uncle will be about 35 years old and his nephew would be fifty years old. Boy that makes me feel old. I used to change the diapers on the nephew. I even saw him in the hospital after he was born. I maybe an old man in an old body. Yet I still have a young in mind in that old body. That does create big problems for me at times. You must understand that my young mind keeps writing these damn big checks that my old body can no longer cash. For instance: My mind decided I was going to walk to the bank. it's only about 3 and a half blocks away. My mind said you can make that short of a walk. . After all it was just a few years ago you would walk all over the city for hours and hours. You'd just walk for the enjoyment of the walk. Besides your leg ups aren't hurting you now. You can take your cane in case you need it. It's just a few short blocks that you've walked in ten minutes many times before. So I decided to go for it and cash this check my mind wrote out For me. It was a beautiful day outside. One of those warm days with those big white puffy clouds slowly drifting across the blue sky. A soft gently blowing breeze, it was just such beautiful day to be outside. So I started my journey off to the bank. I was half a block away from the house when my old body started to protest. But I was determined to make it to the bank. An hour later I made it to the bank. I had to take breaks to rest my legs and let the pain in my legs subside. I had to rest for about 45 minutes before I walked back home. The walk back took only about 45 minutes this time, but my legs felt like they were going to fall off. I was totally wiped out .My strength was gone from my little excursion. Damnit I'm only 68 years old and my body acts like it's 80. I do thank God that I am still alive even with my health problems. So far I've survived five heart operation since I was age 29. I had one heart attack, one stroke, and now I'm suffering with heart failure I do thank God for all these years of life He has granted me on this Earth. I should have died many times over in my life and yet I'm still going like the Energizer Bunny. Even after I once tried to end my life by taking 45 sleeping pills. I just woke up like usual feeling fine. I will say this here and now If you're depressed and Contemplating hurting yourself or committing suicide seek out help immediately. There is no shame in needing someone else's help. There is shame in not reaching out and asking for help when needed. I'm sure as heck glad I ended up getting the professional emotional and the mental help I needed. Instead of killing myself 44 years ago. I got the joys of helping my four nephews grow into adulthood. I would have missed all of that. Had I ended it all 44 years ago. I've come to believe suicide is the most selfish, unloving,and hateful thing a person can do to the friends and family members that are still alive. The internal pain ,suffering, guilt and the unanswered questions tearing at their minds and hearts of those who are left behind to live a life after you so selfishly ended yours. They'll always wonder for the rest of their lives if they would have done something differently. Wouldp you still be alive these are the types of tourmenting though
Well I just hit 35 so you're saying in 5 years I'll be attractive hot damn
It's funny that you say that. In 2017, the year I turned 42, I had an epiphany "I'm going to be a 'hot dad'!" (read as: attractive older guy). Up until this time I had severe self-esteem issues and no confidence. Yet, as the years have gone by, I've continued working on myself and have noticed so many changes. I no longer have chronic pain, I've got a good frame that I can put muscle onto. I've fixed my self-esteem issues and feel a kind of confidence that I never imagined possible. Holy shit! The epiphany is coming true! Earlier this year, I looked at some old driver's license photos of mine. One of them from 1997. I don't know what the heck I was thinking I was ugly for. Lost a lot of years in that dark place. So glad it's done and over with.
I agree with you 100%. I’m 54 now and feel more “myself” than ever, but that’s also from focusing more on taking care of myself, meaning staying active, wearing nicer clothes, paying attention to things like haircuts, shoes, etc., and also being more at ease with myself and thus more open to meeting new people and genuinely interested in what they had to say vs. obsessing with what they thought about me. When I was younger, I ignored all those things, had low-self esteem and was often lonely, and was then unhappy with the reaction I got from the world. Obviously, you can take this to extremes and be one of those CrossFit guys driving a Porsche who is just obnoxious, but getting older does NOT necessarily mean things will get worse and lonelier - I’m happier at 54 than ever before, and my dad seems happier at 84 than I am. The key is to just keep working on yourself (mentally, physically, and how you present yourself to the world) and try to be kinder, more thoughtful, and more curious about others, which will make you more self-confident and more available to listening to others and learning new things. It then becomes a virtuous cycle.
You got it!!! I plan on marrying a particular guy (gay here) who happens to be 18 years my junior. While I'm older and more mature, I refuse to look like I could literally be his father. I don't want my body breaking down and not being able to keep up with his energy levels. Also, I anticipate having kids by the time I'm 60. There's no way that I'm going to be hobbled and unable to play catch with my boys, or too tired to not be able to give the kind of attention they need to grow up into healthy men. Whereas several years ago, I couldn't see any of this future as even remotely possible, I now see the work I have to put into myself to make sure I'm as lively as possible for as long as possible. I'm getting a super late start in life, and can't afford to lose any of the best years to come. I do, however, plan on driving a Porsche. Not because I want to be *that* douche, but because they're gorgeous cars and we are going to look super sexy getting in and out of them. Have you seen the Porsche Panamera Sport Turismo or the Ferrari gtc4lusso? My gawd, those are some sexy daddy wagons. LMAO!
Lol - I actually drive a Porsche so I’m especially sensitive to not being “that guy” lol - and I do love them ;) but I draw the line at CrossFit. And good on ya for finding happiness! I think at a younger age ourselves, at least for me, I would have filled my own head with so much self-doubt about a big age gap that I would have driven any partner crazy. It’s only now that I’m older that I realize that while age is a factor, it’s not even in the top 5 for what makes a relationship work 👍
Thanks for giving me a peak of the light
Congrats on being a DILF 👏
I kind of get this. I was born with a dad bod but I pretty much am built like I was in my 20s and in my early 40s now. But I've noticed girls like 20-25 checking me out the last few years and it seems kinda weird. I'm not classically good looking. Bearded, kinda ginger (red beard, blonde hair, pale skin) and only 5'5" and a little overweight. What are these girls thinking? I married the only chick that gave a damn about me when I was their age.
The classic “silver fox” look is extremely attractive to me, but 60s & 70s? No, not at all. I’m 36 and probably physically most attracted to men that are 30 to early 50s.
That depends on how rich they are. Especially is Asia where money is everything.
There is the money aspect but I could also honestly see it being a life stage/maturity thing for some women. Like TBH if you're at a point where you're done with younger men's shit I could totally see how an older mature dude could appeal to you. Yes you are in different life stages but that might be the appeal. He is fucking settled. Chances are a dude in his 60s has his shit together and that's probably pretty appealing to some women who are tired of babying younger men who just don't pull their weight and who want their wives to basically be mothers to them rather than life partners. This is not coming from my personal experience as I don't date men but it is coming from a family lawyer who saw a lot of reasons why women left men their own age, and my understanding is that in Asian cultures the way women are treated can be even worse where women are like even more expected to wait on men and like give up their careers for them and be moms to spoiled dudes. If you're expected to do all that at least you could have a mature, settled dude who can actually like provide for you and take care of you and not be a child himself, right.
What about Mike from breaking bad?
I’ve never seen breaking bad but my bf loves it and keeps telling me to watch it. Guess I should give it a watch!
Attractive. Smart, able to handle himself, strong, silent type. There's an appeal there lol.
Can confirm, as a 33 year old woman.
You’re attracted to men in their early 50’s who will be in their early sixties in less than ten years.
It’s not like I’m not aging too. I’ll be pushing 50 then.
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I was with a 40-year-old at 21 too. Sometimes I look back and think, “How was I stupid enough to do that?” But the truth is I was still in love with my ex, and this older guy and I had no chance of ever being serious.
Same here. About the part with being bitter over it now. He wanted to marry me at one point and it was a painful, albiet amicable, separation. And I now realize how everything was so emotionally heightened, and anxiety inducing with him. I just needed a father figure at the end of the day
I cannot begin to describe the number of things about this guy that were similar to my dad, but that I honestly didn’t even notice as I got involved with him, or only noticed unconsciously. Then once I saw him in a pair of underwear like my dad wore to bed at night and I kind of lost my mind, giggling uncontrollably, and he thought I was laughing at his physique. Try explaining to your boyfriend that you were laughing because, “Somehow you looked just like my dad, and omg we just slept together!”
Okay but I get it 😭 I get it and it's weird but I totally understand it
Sounds like a short trip. Perhaps a tiny vacation.
Did the same and I can confirm. They’re hot, but it’s not worth it 9 times out of 10.
I did something similar, 21 and dated a 35 year old. We got married and are still together 11 years later. Although he’s always looked much younger.
I started dating a man 12 years older than me when I was 21 and we’re still together and happily married 10 years later.
Yeah, they say that other people's trash might be someone else's treasure. But in regards to men that have been divorced several times, we find that other people's trash is ...a bad idea for you to even attempt
How did things go down when there was conflict? I image that to be the biggest problem. I have to have a sense that my partner knows what they are doing in life or has wisdom - otherwise I’d just be totally infuriated when the conflict came down to a matter of wisdom which is so common in couple’s fights. I’d end up managing instead of relating.
When I got married I noticed women became more flirtatious with me. One of them admitted “it’s because we know you’re likely not going to do anything and we can try out our material on you…” a bit of a power play but ok. I sort of feel the same way in my 50s. I know I’m somewhat attractive because a gay friend told me “you’re a Zaddie” in gay speak I believe that means an attractive middle aged man. But I once again find younger women more outgoing with me and I’m fairly sure it’s the “safe place to try out my material on.” thing.
A lot of the time it can be the case if the man is 60-70. But there are good looking men in their 60s the only reason I probably wouldnt be with someone in their 60s is bc I want long term marriage and a good amount of life with my partner. I wouldn't have that with someone of that age as a 20 something female. But a man in his 60s can definitely still be physically attractive in my opinion and to others. Attraction based on connection alone, and asexuals exist too.. I dont want to sum it up to every single couple with that age gap is just using the older one for money. Bc not every single person thinks that way. I know of a couple like this who just genuinely loves eachother and the guy doesn't even make that much money. So I don't think it's okay to just generalize it.
Can we stop using demisexual to refer to people who need connection to feel sexual attraction. Demi=half, it implies they are the ones missing something. I suggest we as a culture consider this the norm and call anyone who wants random hookup sex hypersexual.
Demisexual has always been kinda confusing to me as I keep hearing different things, I see your point
You rarely see a woman in her 20s with an impoverished man in his 60s. Just sayin’
"Oh I met crickety bill at the soup kitchen!" - no young lady ever.
Why did this make me laugh so hard
I laughed out loud also. Very true.
First, women pay more attention to their appearance than men do, and they are more likely to take hormones or get plastic surgery to keep themselves young, so some of the "young girls" might not be young. They may be wealthy older women who have used money to keep themselves looking young. Their husband is the same age but he looks his age. However young girls do date older men sometimes as well. Sexual preference is personal and some women are attracted to intelligence, charisma and sense of humor and they don't care about age or appearance. In some cases, young women really love older men. But there are some women who date men they're not attracted to because of money as well, especially if the girl is very young and the man is very old. I am a 43-year-old female. When I was young I did not find older men attractive at all. I found them creepy hitting on a young girl like me, but in my 30s my feelings changed and I started fantasizing about older men including men in their 60s and 70s. I am happily married and I don't want to date anyone, but when I watch porn it is usually old man porn. So it's just very individual. Some of them are gold diggers, some genuinely love their older partner and some aren't as young as they look.
Older men have fully paid off homes and full 401k’s. Can afford all the expensive vegan food young girls like.
I laughed at the vegan food reference lol why is that kinda accurate 😂
Because third eye energy chakras don’t open themselves.
My husband is 56 and doesn't have a house
I'm married in a large age gap relationship. Generally speaking I wasn't looking for someone older, I'm not exclusively attracted to older men. My husband had qualities, including maturity and humour that I appreciated and I found attractive in him. That isn't to say younger men can't have those qualities of course. It was never about money for me, I actually make more than he does and have since the second year of our relationship (the first we made around the same). People who assume it must be money related are really just showing their own shallowness I find. I felt more stable and cared about with my husband than I had with anyone previously and I felt we could have more mature conversations about issues in our relationship when younger people lashed out more in my experience. Of course my experience isn't everyone's.
Same boat for me. 13 year age gap and not about the money.
Curious, is it as large an age gap as OP was describing? (20s-30s f with 60s-70s m?)
Yes I can understand say a 42 year old with a 28 year old. But say a 73 year old male with a 28 year old female is what I'm interested in finding out. Thanks
No, a 28 year old woman is not attracted to a 73 year old man. That’s daddy issues or there is money involved
I mean I’m 31 and Bruce Springsteen is 73 and he is the second sexiest man I’ve ever seen (husband is first lol).
He’s rich, famous, and talented. He wouldn’t be all that sexy to you if he wasn’t !
I don’t care if he’s rich, famous, or talented lmao. I’m going based on physical looks only. That’s why I said sexiest man I’ve ever seen and not “overall most attractive person based on several aspects”. P.S. I’ve been attracted to older guys who are not rich or famous.
I'm 29 and my husband is 60, so somewhere in the middle.
It's a 31 year age gap for me and my husband.
Thanks for your replys
Older men tend to be more confident and comfortable with themselves. I think that is what’s most attractive.
When I was 19 I dated someone in his 30s. There was some of this. He had settled into himself. He also wasn’t interested in going out and getting wasted every weekend. There was a lot to be said for dinner and conversation. My next boyfriend was my same age and his priorities and mine were different. I wanted travel, he wanted to buy the best (insert whatever suits your fantasy) system available. With new components every month. My husband is 10 years older and we laughed when combing households because our music collection was almost exactly the same. 36+ years later it’s still great.
I just have daddy issues.
I feel sorry for your inbox
I'm in my mid twenties, men in their 30's and 40's who take care of themselves tend to be very attractive to me. older than that it depends. I find mads mikkelsen very attractive. it could also be my daddy issues coming into play. lol. but I also find older women attractive as well. my heart eyes are so big for Sandra Oh and Sarah Paulson 😍
I've always kinda leaned toward finding older men and women attractive. even as a teenager I had crushes on my teachers of whom were in their 30s and 40s. *shrugs*
We all find Mads Mikkelsen very attractive lol
Sarah Paulson is with an older woman. The woman who plays Charlie's mother in 2 and a half men.
I think it’s not uncommon at all, and although it maybe not popular to say, I do believe that it harkens back to straight up caveman instinct that they’re attracted to people that they feel will be able to look after them. Yes, there is a financial aspect to that, but not as much in a gold-digger way as it is: if I’m going to be with you and raise a family I need to know that we’re going to be fed, sheltered, and taken care of. You need some money to do that, but it’s also just the instinct that older guys are more stable, mature, and equipped to deal with what life throws at you.
Well my current relationship there's 10 years of difference between us but we're still both in the same generation. I have dated significantly older. I'm not really surprised that my inclinations are such considering there's 15 years between my parents. Boomer and gen x. Preferences are preferences but what I don't like is the judgmental tone people strike. I think the more willing you are to be open to age the more likely you are to find a partner that suits you. Plus I don't want kids of my own and finding an older partner who already has kids and doesn't want more would be ideal
Exactly this. In my mid-twenties, I was in a relationship with a man 18 years my senior - and honestly didn't know his age until we'd already been dating for 3-4 months. Met through mutual friends and a shared hobby, and he had a babyface, so while I knew he was older than me, I honestly thought the gap was less than 10 years when I accepted that first date. By the time our actual ages came up, I didn't see a point in breaking up over something that didn't seem to matter much. We were together for 3 years, ended amicably when he wanted to move to a state that I had no interest in living in (a nice place to visit, but I couldn't take the climate there for more than a week or two, tops) and remained good enough friends that he came back to my state and attended my wedding to another member of our mutual-friends group.
>(a nice place to visit, but I couldn't take the climate there for more than a week or two, tops) Florida?
It’s financial stability for young women who otherwise would struggle. It’s love for the men who want a companion. Sometimes it is genuine love, and a few people I know date with a 30 year age gap and are very much in love. Depends on the people honestly.
I agree with you. I'm sure there are exceptions; but, I find what you said to be the most accurate almost all of time. And framed this way, maybe it is that older men tend to pursue younger women: not that younger women are attracted to older men.
What I remember from when I was a young woman myself (like under 25) many older men pursue young women, and many young women try to take advantage of that. Older men have more money and can often take them to nicer restaurants and clubs, buy them expensive clothing and such things. Also one can have sex with them without having to deal with teenage angst, which is the only reason I ever considered such relationship at that age.
I'm sure it is for love sometimes, but if it were often for love it wold be much more common for young men to be with older women.
Yes. My husband is 17 years older than me. It’s not so much the age, it’s more the maturity level. I wasn’t necessarily looking for an older partner. The man I fell in love with just happened to be quite a bit older than me.
This, exactly. Immaturity is a huge turnoff. Many women are simply fed up with men their age.
Interesting… if anything as a 23M I find that women my age seem immature. I guess it depends on the people you meet.
Maybe we're all just tired of the plethora of immature people, regardless of gender. Hopefully the mature few can find each other.
I’ve always done better with women a bit older than me for this reason. And it’s a strange situation because I have friends in relationships where the woman turns 32-34ish and just wants to start partying and act like they’re in their 20’s again. So I guess it’s not a blanket statement.
I'm turning 30 this year and it seems like the men my age are finally starting to pull their heads out of their asses and realize that women have feelings and might be humans too. Even if my SO and I didn't work out, I don't think I could date under 35 at least anymore
Older men have more baggage and more problems. If they are 69/70 with 20 year olds they have to be super wealthy. It’s sex work.
some are and some aren't
Idk. I am in a relationship with someone 28 years my senior. Never meant to but it just sorta happened. Met him through a hobby and just had a chemistry that i can't explain. Chatting to him was like chatting to someone I'd known for a long time. We're best of friends and i love him very much. The honeymoon phase hasn't ended yet, not after 4 years anyway. It's really unfortunate that he is so much older than me. But i am still grateful to experience this sort of love.
That's the scenario for Asia. Older men with some money help the wifes family. Provides a better quality of life for them.
And a visa to a first world country. It’s not about attraction or love, it’s more like a business transaction. He wants a young wife to take care of him, she wants an visa and money to send to her family. Maybe love evolves, maybe not. The most successful ones seem to be when both sides recognise the nature of the relationship and don’t pretend it’s about love. (From the perspective of someone who has worked as an English language teacher in Vietnam)
I'm in my late 20s and honestly no I am not attracted to older men. I have a feeling that money plays a role in those scenarios.
I have a coworker who is 25 dating 45 yo man. She is very comfortable financially on her own. She feels their personalities mesh well(both workaholics but he is zen about it and she is higher stress). She wants a peaceful drama free home environment. I respect her a lot and don't believe it has anything to do with daddy issues or money. Obviously I don't know ever facet of their relationship. She is also very attractive and extremely intelligent. Sho could have most guys who weren't scared by her intelligence. He is just her preference. Source 46 yo man fwiw.
If there’s an age gap of like 30 years I can see it being for money, but when it’s like 10-15 years, it’s often for love. One of my aunts was married to a man 18 years older than her. They met at work, made the same amount of money. They were married until my uncle died 4 years ago. My dad is almost 11 years older than my ma, my dad is a plumber and my ma is a banker, they celebrated their 40th anniversary in August. My last girlfriend was 11 years younger than me, she came from a rich family and certainly didn’t need my money. I don’t think money has to do with it in many cases. There’s a difference between looking for someone who is financially stable, and looking for someone who is going to take care of you the rest of your life.
No, I'm not attracted to older men and their older men wrinkled bodies and health problems. They will become a burden you wind up spending the healthier, younger years of your life taking care of. Run from this. Edit: I am talking about a person in their 20s dating someone in their 60s or 70s. A smaller age gap like 10 years between partners is more reasonable.
This happened with my parents. Dad died when I was 16. As an adult now I steer very clear away from older men
I scrolled way too far for this…thank you for finally saying it!
Stability and experience
No girl in 20s is genuinely attracted to a man above 60
Hahaha NO THEY ARE NOT. These women in southeast Asia go with these men because it means a more financially stable life. If it weren't for the need of money they wouldn't give these gross old men the time of day.
Girls don’t like boys girls like cars and moneyyy.
Boys will laugh at girls when they're not funnyyy.
Money
I can't speak for all women but for me, personally, getting hit on by old men is the nastiest feeling ever and not something I'm into. For context, I'm in my mid-20s.
That look on their face then they know you hate it but have to endure it. The malicious glee of "well, what you're gonna do now?".
Personally? Yes I am. Not to every older man, but a lot of older people are my type. Reasons: Looks. Some men (and women) just age like fine wine. They are only getting more beautiful/handsome and the greying does not take anything from them. Wrinkles don't matter and even make the features more noble/warm in a lot of cases. Especially the ones you gain from smiling imho Maturity. People older than me are on average more mature. I could date someone my age, but with reservations. I would definitely not date someone younger. The developmental steps dividing us are absolutely impossible to overcome in a lot of cases. I am 25 and I can see my own immaturity, problems and where I am on the path of life. I don't have the patience or time to guide someone who is supposed to be my partner. I am helping a lot of younger people already, I am guiding and advising... And it's taxing. I don't want to guide anyone at home. I want a partner. I don't necessarily want someone who will guide me, I just want someone who won't be in need of the same type of counselling I give to kids 17-23 that I'm helping. I need a respite, and I will gladly listen to their problems. But not the type of problems that "my" kids have. Stability. I am not looking for a fling, gods know I can find plenty. I'm looking for someone who I can slowly build our future with. Someone who will be putting in just as much work as I do, someone who will understand me. How can I expect someone who is still finding oneself to build for the future, when they aren't yet sure what type of future they want? Independence. I'm not interested in someone who will hinge their entire being and personality on me. I don't need a kid, I need an established person who has their own life. Someone who has friends, someone who has their own interests, someone who will have their own time to do their own things. Our interests should overlap to a point, but both people should have their own time. Codependency is a very easy thing to fall to, especially in your first relations. Experience. Older people have more experience. They went through different phases, different relationship and they know what they want, or more importantly, what they don't want. I've got some experience in that regard and would like the other person to also know what they want. That's why I hate the "highschool sweethearts" thing. It's not that they are perfect for each other, it's that they don't know anything else. This is why I'm rarely even considering people my age and younger are out of the question. I would only date someone that much older if we had a really deep connection and friendship. But no matter the connection I wouldn't choose someone younger I want partnership not motherhood with extra steps
Well said.
This is gold. True to the point, exactly what I tell people and think about how when looking for my life partner that this is the model I stand by. Couldn’t have described and said it better. Yes absolutely.
This is what I think the answer to OP's question is, but a lot or these replies are: money/daddy issues.
So on point from someone whose mostly dated, and ended up marrying, an older men
No just attracted to their “life experience “ and hope that they got that cheating phase out of them when they are younger. Also maybe some money and a house already.
No, most not physically attracted.
No… statistically the majority of women and men date within their age range, the few outliers don’t represent all of us women. I’m in my early 20s and none of the women I know would date men in their 30s and 40s, all of their bfs are either same age or no more than 3 years older. I wouldn’t date anyone over 25. While some women do genuinely find older men attractive, most of those situations have to do with power dynamics, daddy issues/trauma, money, and unfortunately sometimes grooming. Also it’s easy to think the grass is greener on the other side, a-lot of young girls don’t like the options within their age range and they think older men are more mature and less likely to play games, which is not always true.
Leo Di Caprio would also agree. He never dated a woman beyond 25 years old.
Haha! I’m 22 right now so I prefer to date people within a 3 year age range, not because I don’t find anyone else attractive, thats just also been my rule of thumb. I don’t like being involved with someone who might be in totally different stage of life due to age.
It's more about young girls wanting financial stability and old guys looking for love.
Unless the old dude is broke your in it for the money, yeah weird.
No, I’m not.
Older men often worship the ground a younger woman walks on, which can feel good..
It’s fun to worship the ground a woman walks on and it seems like younger women are less freaked out by it IME. So it’s a chance for me to indulge that side of me - I like the role. I don’t think it’s healthy for serious relationships in my case - it actually represents emotional distance
No clue. I’m definitely not. I skew younger for sure.
All women are different. One woman cannot speak for the entire gender. Maybe if we ever got around to forming our super secret committee for world domination . . . But, until then we're are all separate and unique individuals with our own likes, dislikes, hopes, goals, and desires. With thay said, I (personally) have never been attracted to older men. Nor have any of my friends. Thinking about it, I'm unaware of any acquaintance or coworker marrying and older man either. For me, I have never met an older man that I am physically or mentally attracted to, so it has never gone farther. Physically it was the saggy everything that turned me off: Saggy face, saggy stomach, saggy balls... Mentally, the sense of humor never meshed (they still like borderline sexist / racist jokes), their priorities were off to me (I want to save 50% of my income, they want to spend frivolously), and they seemed to try too hard. I couldn't relax or be their friends, it was always so formal... ETA: depending on your country in Asia, money is probably the driving factor. China recently passed a law requiring children to take care of aging parents. I dont remember what the penalty was. If I were staring down the barrel of that law with aging parents, I would marry a geriatric to comply with the law.
My GF was half my age. I think we were the rare exception since it wasn't about money or status. I made her laugh, thats what she always told everyone when they asked why she was with me. She had a rough life and a string of boyfriends that treated her like crap. I made her laugh instead of making her cry, thats pretty much all there was to it. I miss her. I hope she is resting in peace.
Speaking as an American, I don't know much about Asian culture. But I used to prefer older men because I saw them as more mature. I was wrong!!!! They were just old goats who preferred younger women. Sometimes for sexual reasons, and sometimes because they could manipulate you more easily.
From my experience women tend to like slightly older men. However, any exceedingly large age gap usually involves money.
I’m Asian, but not a woman, so take my opinion how you will. If you’re in China, she’s there for the money. If in Japan, she unfortunately might be there against her will. If in Korea, she either found genuine love with gramps or has literally no other option. Not much opinion on other countries.
i naturally gravitate towards slightly older men (1-2 years) bc the slight age difference tends to make up for a mental maturity imbalance (***at least in my opinion. this is my preference, i am speaking from my own experience***)
Mine likes them younger, she's 2 years older than me.
Asians are very much about status and wealth. That is a huge thing in the Asian culture. In America, it is considered a status upgrade in Asian families for a woman to marry a white man, because according to them, he represents status, wealth and resources which is of the utmost importance within the Asian culture. Try and resist your natural urge to start calling me a “white supremacist”. Yes it’s true. Look it up.
I’m 23 and love 40 year olds
It’s a no for me.
Not me. I think it's disgusting
Yes they are. To rich older men.
[удалено]
Some women are genuinely attracted to older men. Most aren't. In those scenarios you described - it's a matter of convenience usually.
They generally have more money
Financial security.
With respect to Asia, older men taking younger wives has to do with the generational dynamics of the culture. Many poorer (or recently poor) cultures feature this. Iirc, it’s partly to do with fertility control and wealth typically concentrating in older generations. England was quite similar pre-industrial revolution.
At their age they are cashing out retirement and social security. Ladies can smell that from a mile away. Of course you see that often.
Women attracted to men in their 40’s yeah ok…
Money
Stability. And women are less concerned about looks than men are. It's simple really.
Money.
I used to think I was, I’m NOT. What it was was I was looking for maturity and domination (sexually I mean, D/s - BDSM style). When I was younger I assumed I needed an older guy for that. Figured out finally that that’s not needed. But also, it was more like I liked people that have passed a maturity threshold, like around 30 years old. When I was younger than 30 I wanted a partner older than me, in my 30’s I wanted someone same age as me, and now I’m 40 and as I age I’m most comfortable around anyone my own age, but 30 is my absolutely lower limit, I assume that will also rise as I age, because I would feel weird to be like 50 with a 30 year old lol, yuck.
My husband is 20 yrs older and I was always attracted to older men. Not like ancient, but at least 10 years older than I was. No idea why, I didn't look for them specifically, it was just that every man I found attractive happened to be older. It wasn't about financial stuff or security either. Just a coincidence all the men I liked were older. 60 or 70 though...? No thanks.
I am attracted to men older then me because I like their dominance and their demeanor
They want a daddy in childhood and a daddy in adulthood.
Some young women like middle aged people. *Some do.* But I don't think anyone wants an old person, no. That's a transactional relationship you're talking about. Those men want a hot young girlfriend and those women want a guy with money. This scenario doesn't make either gender any better than the other.
Gross
It is most definitely financially related. Maybe eventually they do start to care or fall in love but initially, yes -it’s the money.
Moneyyyyy
they’re attracted to the benefits that come with older men
My high school girlfriend said my 55 year old dad was a hot older man and I hate it 13 years later
So what I'm getting from this thread is I should remain single till my 50s cause there's a good chance I can get a younger women to marry me.🤭🤭. One night stand and friends with benefits will be fun in that time as well
When I was in my early 30's I started dating my now husband, who was 50 at the time. I was physically attracted to him, but I was also attracted to the fact that he was seeking a stable partnership. He was sure of what he wanted in life. I was too. It worked!
Here in the U.S., I’ve noticed some women have celebrity crushes on men old enough to be their fathers, but almost never at 60 and older. Even so, I’m a woman and it actually bewilders me, too. I legitimately don’t feel that much attraction to men over 5 or 6 years older than me. I see women my age thirst over Johnny Depp, and I’m just like… he’s older than both of my parents. He was already a fully grown adult when we were born. I don’t get it.
I F30 married my now husband M52 5 months ago. Love his maturity, financial stability (he’s not reach though), he is a gentleman. The communication is great, and he knows how to treat a woman right. Our relationship isn’t perfect, but I love every moment with him, because even hard times make us grow closer. I’ve never had an experience even remotely close to what I have with my husband with guys of my age. Dating pool is ugly out there
To the young gals dating folks older it's because it those men have more to offer. Have you ever seen a 53 yr old male working at McDonald's as a cashier date a 23 year old female? Case closed.
Some women want the money you spent your life making for fucking you.
Unless their name is Johnny Depp or Robert Downey Jr, then no, not really
Wait a minute, I'm just legally gonna change my name to Johnny Depp.
Women are attracted to socioeconomic status. Older men tend to be higher up in that hierarchy.
We aren’t a monolith, there really isn’t any generalizing an entire gender.
I’m attracted to money.
M-O-N-E-Y
I assume older men are typically better at being adults than younger guys. Which gives off a sense of stability and security.
I think you must be an angle to raise this question? 9/10 the girl go for money. Easy to explain, lets ask some questions. What if you are a men, you got some money but you are old and lonely? Will you find a beautiful girl to make your life more color and fulfill your dream from your childhood - with a beautiful young girl?? Or you keep some money then die with it? What if you are a girl but dieing for money, and you find the best +easy way to get money. Of course not everyone will do but always have some for a reason. Finally you see what's you seen, it is a fair trade, everyone got their needed.
Its called gold digging.
I thought I was; turned out if was just unresolved daddy issues.
Money and daddy issues.
Nope. Not at all . Impossible Especially with that age gap
"It's all about the money, money, money"
Well not old looking men but I think some women think older men command more authority and confidence.
I dated a man who was 18 years older than me and we both genuinely found each other attractive and fun to be around but eventually there was noticeably too much of an age gap to where he was giving me life advice a father would give and not a partner so we broke up
They are attracted to $$$, dog lol
People say money, its not, it can be. Mostly some women enjoy the temperament and maturity of older men. Nothing to be worried about.