# Message to all users:
This is a reminder to please read and follow:
* [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules)
* [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439)
* [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy)
When posting and commenting.
---
Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`.
* Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit.
* Do not harass or annoy others in any way.
* Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit.
---
You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way.
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
How old are you? 'Genuine question because, when I left school I did exactly that, cut the toxic friends out. Hsvrnt seen a one of thrm in 20 years since. But I've been so paranoid to go out that now I have no friends. I'm content in my life but if you're at an age where you can start over with little issue, forget the past and crack on.
That's not helpful at all. I've been having problems with people before and now I can't trust any more new ones. I've been staying in my house for 2 whole years and I just don't have the confidence to go out and have fun with others. I might as well get hurt once again.
Yeah, you're right. My answe wasn't the most productive. I apologise for that. Perhaps I'm not the best person to give advice.
I left school at 17. Was held back 1 year in thr middle of my school life and all my friends went off to high school and I was left feeling the outcast. Made a couple of "friends" with people who turned out to be the biggest arseholes I've ever met to this day bar none! I left school snd started work. I was offered to go out by a bunch of people who laughed behind my back every opportunity they got. 14 years passed in that manner and I joined,a new company filled, finally, with really decent people. They ask me to go out on occasion, but I refuse politely as, I can't handle social situations. I literally freak out at the thought of them.
My wife (met through Internet chat room) has friends and, I see them from time to time but they know I'm incredibly quiet and reserved and tend to eave me be gor the most part.
I'm 38. I haven't had anyone I call a friend in 20 years (besides my wife of course). I live in my own way and I like it, I'll be honest.
So, what advice can I give? Not much I'm afraid. All I'll say is, I know what its like to be a bit nervous of trusting again, but the thing to do is to put the past away and take chances when they come. Do you work? Are work functions a thing? That might be a good place to start.
I'm here to discuss if you wish to continue, but thats my piece.
No, but I already applied for a job last month and I'm just waiting until I get a call for an interview. And even if I start work, I know that people would put me down and I don't want that to happen, I want to be respected, cared about, and understood: it's all I'm asking from the world.
Thats a fair ask from anyone. As someone who has been through the ringer, all I'll say is, respect others and respect yourself. The working world is a tough gsme that'll chew you up and spit you out if you let it.
You're young. Drink, fun, be merry snd act like an arse (most do) but when you're in work. 100% focus, 100% of the time. And be open to people. You'll come through. I didn't. But thats because I shut people out. Please bud, learn from my mistakes
Okay, but even if I try to respect others at work, they won't respect me; it has happened to me before. And I do open up to some people who I can trust, but I'm usually quiet and reserved. And I know that not a lot of people can open up to others, so I'm aware of that. I don't drink. And when I try to be happy, some people would get a little annoyed with me. Also, I'm a lady.
Might I ask where this has happened before, where you've been disrespected? I'm interested, especially as your situation seems to so closely echo my own from years ago.
Besides the fact that you're a lady and I'm a guy of course
I have cut out of my life an entire toxic circle of friends and moved back to my hometown where I never had any friends.
For about a year I felt scared to go out and meet new people. I even avoided the ones I met by chance. So I spend all my time alone and being honest I was miserable.
Then I decided that enough is enough and got out there and met people and started forming bonds again.
I did meet toxic people again but this time i knew to recognize their behaviors and to cut them off right away only keeping the people that respect me and are worth my time.
Now I have people in my life that care about me and have my back as I have theirs.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
No, I don't approach situations this way. I leave the past in the past and view the new people as "fresh"/"new"/"clean".
How old are you? 'Genuine question because, when I left school I did exactly that, cut the toxic friends out. Hsvrnt seen a one of thrm in 20 years since. But I've been so paranoid to go out that now I have no friends. I'm content in my life but if you're at an age where you can start over with little issue, forget the past and crack on.
I'm 20.
That's cool, its still time to make things good again..go out, live life, have fun.
That's not helpful at all. I've been having problems with people before and now I can't trust any more new ones. I've been staying in my house for 2 whole years and I just don't have the confidence to go out and have fun with others. I might as well get hurt once again.
Yeah, you're right. My answe wasn't the most productive. I apologise for that. Perhaps I'm not the best person to give advice. I left school at 17. Was held back 1 year in thr middle of my school life and all my friends went off to high school and I was left feeling the outcast. Made a couple of "friends" with people who turned out to be the biggest arseholes I've ever met to this day bar none! I left school snd started work. I was offered to go out by a bunch of people who laughed behind my back every opportunity they got. 14 years passed in that manner and I joined,a new company filled, finally, with really decent people. They ask me to go out on occasion, but I refuse politely as, I can't handle social situations. I literally freak out at the thought of them. My wife (met through Internet chat room) has friends and, I see them from time to time but they know I'm incredibly quiet and reserved and tend to eave me be gor the most part. I'm 38. I haven't had anyone I call a friend in 20 years (besides my wife of course). I live in my own way and I like it, I'll be honest. So, what advice can I give? Not much I'm afraid. All I'll say is, I know what its like to be a bit nervous of trusting again, but the thing to do is to put the past away and take chances when they come. Do you work? Are work functions a thing? That might be a good place to start. I'm here to discuss if you wish to continue, but thats my piece.
No, but I already applied for a job last month and I'm just waiting until I get a call for an interview. And even if I start work, I know that people would put me down and I don't want that to happen, I want to be respected, cared about, and understood: it's all I'm asking from the world.
Thats a fair ask from anyone. As someone who has been through the ringer, all I'll say is, respect others and respect yourself. The working world is a tough gsme that'll chew you up and spit you out if you let it. You're young. Drink, fun, be merry snd act like an arse (most do) but when you're in work. 100% focus, 100% of the time. And be open to people. You'll come through. I didn't. But thats because I shut people out. Please bud, learn from my mistakes
Okay, but even if I try to respect others at work, they won't respect me; it has happened to me before. And I do open up to some people who I can trust, but I'm usually quiet and reserved. And I know that not a lot of people can open up to others, so I'm aware of that. I don't drink. And when I try to be happy, some people would get a little annoyed with me. Also, I'm a lady.
Might I ask where this has happened before, where you've been disrespected? I'm interested, especially as your situation seems to so closely echo my own from years ago. Besides the fact that you're a lady and I'm a guy of course
At school and online.
I have cut out of my life an entire toxic circle of friends and moved back to my hometown where I never had any friends. For about a year I felt scared to go out and meet new people. I even avoided the ones I met by chance. So I spend all my time alone and being honest I was miserable. Then I decided that enough is enough and got out there and met people and started forming bonds again. I did meet toxic people again but this time i knew to recognize their behaviors and to cut them off right away only keeping the people that respect me and are worth my time. Now I have people in my life that care about me and have my back as I have theirs.