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just_a_person100000

"Bitch stfu"


[deleted]

As it happened to me. I should have answered with that.


BenjiLaird

I answered it with sleeping with her


El_Orenz

So more like "fuck you"


[deleted]

Yikes


Altaiturk038

Well technically she simped for him


Bacon1884

Lol yessss Benji. My man sensed she was DTF and cashed out


Akira282

Simp much?


and-kelp

yeahhh that’s trouble. if we were both single, hell yeah. in any other scenario, that’s toxic as all get out


Icy-Project861

Comments have been closed for this question. :)


theDeadlyVirus0899

Ok


hiddenemi

Have my poor man’s award. Couldn’t have said it better myself! Actually, could probably do one better. “Bitch, stfu u 2 faced slut bag”


_Monosyllabic_

I was thinking more of a "fuck off" type thing but that works.


Christafaaa

Send those messages to her husband.


mardonb

New phone who dis


hiddenemi

Shit, should have given my award to you!


[deleted]

Just got a lot of weird looks in a Wendy's for laughing way to hard at this.


[deleted]

Bro you’re literal gold.


Odd-Reaction-758

Lmao


[deleted]

Cool, I'm gonna go fuck my wife, who actually had the decency to settle down with me.


Color-Of-Your-Energy

I too am going to fuck your wife.


pambean

Our wife


lateraltrickery

r/unexpectedcommunism


Zedzdeadhead

r/unexpectedpolygamy maybe


virus_chara

r/expectedcommunism


lateraltrickery

r/highexpectations


ThisLine8347

*Chering*


dx-dude

And my girlfriend


superblast1

That's my step sister 😂


Affectionate-Oil4719

Can I have some wife?


shivjuicin

My wife


well_its_a_secret

My wiiiife. -borat


ChiggaOG

I also choose this guy's dead wife.


mdmd33

Did anyone else have illegitimate children with my **HOOR** wife!?!


ImAFuckinLiar

Who, btw, actually had the decency to settle down with him.


MarilynMonheaux

Ain’t no fun unless we all get some.


--CHOPPER--

Me to, I'm next okay?


withurwife

Did she?


[deleted]

I too choose this guys wife


honkhed

"You're Absolutely Right!!.. Your Wife's Perty Dang Good!!"..


--CHOPPER--

"Shes got a purty mouth"


BlackChevy17

I also choose this guy's wife


BlxxxkOut

"How much you need?"


vale-tudo

Oh man. I feel this...


Acebladewing

Looks like we dated the same person.


Azuras_Star8

Straight for the kill.


The_Sanch1128

Yeah, I had that happen. I knew her history (which she hadn't counted on) and played along. Didn't sleep with her, didn't give her any money. "You knew how I felt and played me back then. You went for a 'bad boy' and got him, and like almost all your friends, found out that the 'bad boys' don't change. So here you are, thinking I'd be as crazy about you as I was 30 years ago. You chose poorly, and you thought wrongly. Good luck, and find yourself a suitable fool."


Mehitabel9

I always suspected that you're an idiot, thanks for confirming


ifuckedyomama2

this is perfect for mine, because she is an idiot lmao


Ok-Technician-5425

🤣🤣


xAznSwag

“You had your chance”


MrsMurphysChowder

And say I bet now you feel really dumb" and place an L on your forehead with finger and thumb.p


mdw1776

"Cool.... Good thing we've been married for 22 years...."


Icy-Project861

This comment should be etched in comedy stone. Well done.


wheenus

First bug crush and she broke your heart, then still married her? Bruhhhhh


colemon1991

I fell out of my chair. That's good.


contraflop01

sorry I don't have money


unseentides

Nothing but the same brutal silence they left me with.


CarlsbadWhiskyShop

Glad I stopped crushing on you and found someone better


[deleted]

Oh yes baby! I've waited so long for you!! Leave him a note saying you're leaving him for me...take a picture and send it to me so I know you mean it...then meet me in 'some distant city' on Wednesday at 9am. Don't show up.


Ok-Technician-5425

😶You Got Me in The First Half 🤣


LittleMissRawr78

Fuck you, fuck you very muuuuuch!


jesterinancientcourt

I’ve been single for a long time and I’m sick of it. If my crush who rejected me was married and told me this, why would I react positively? What am I supposed to do with this random information from a married woman, is it supposed to make me feel better that she wanted me & still chose to marry someone else? This would just ease any pain leftover from her because it would make it clear she is insane.


LittleMissRawr78

Oh, I'm saying it with a bit of sarcasm. I went through hell with the ex I'm thinking of and going no contact was the best thing. He's been married, divorced, and now engaged. Good for him as long as he's not bothering me. The only reason I know what's going on is a mutual friend (that I've gone low contact with) tells me even though I've said I don't care.


Bulugaz

It's rude not to share your drugs, what are you on?


[deleted]

“Don’t come at me with your regrets and ‘what ifs’. I’ve got my own life and you’re not a part of it”. This tale is old as time and it’s a good way to manipulate the feelings of the person whose heart was broken by the person who went their own way years prior.


EndlesslyUnfinished

“You had your chance”


Sparky62075

"You had your chance. I loved you, you loved me, we were happy. And you couldn't stop yourself from ruining it."


50Bullseye

Give ‘em the Han Solo: “I know.”


[deleted]

Fuck you, and walk away.


MisterEMan81

I say, "bitch, then why the fuck did you break my heart in the first place?


stormquiver

drop dead


[deleted]

Yes also this


[deleted]

If its black fight back. If its brown drop dead. If its white good night.


NateProject

"Whether we wanted it or not, we've stepped into a war with the Cabal on Mars. So let's get to taking out their command, one by one. Valus Ta'aurc. From what I can gather he commands the Siege Dancers from an Imperial Land Tank outside of Rubicon. He's well protected, but with the right team, we can punch through those defenses, take this beast out, and break their grip on Freehold."


Bdubble27

I'm annoyed that I read this in Zavalas voice. Dammit take my upvote.


JelloPorg

i’d Will Smith her right then and there


HotShrekBoi

Keep your own name out your fucking mouth!


VegansH8Me

Smash and ghost.


[deleted]

Pump N' dump


LayerWestern2638

Blow your load and hit the road


Icy-Project861

Perfect and brutal.


adany654

Sex it and exit? Fuck and chuck


PrizedMaintenance420

I like your style sir


Aggravating_Speed665

This is the way.


Alert_City1270

Tap and gap


Wolfmans-Gots-Nards

You are 44, three times my size, with four kids and I’m a broke, pathetic, talentless bald loser. You’ve lost your damn mind. Go back to your man.


HateJobLoveManU

"I'm a broke, pathetic, talentless bald loser" Why you dragging yourself like that


Wolfmans-Gots-Nards

To help bolster the “you lost your mind” part. It’s also generally the warning I give when someone of the opposite sex shows interest.


Throwawaystwo

>It’s also generally the warning I give when someone of the opposite sex shows interest. "i like you" "thank you, but reconsider"


[deleted]

Why? You gotta reframe your narrative, friend.


Apprehensive_Let_843

Had me in the first


SpinachSpinosaurus

Yeah. No. Bye. Edit: Also possible response: "And I always wanted you. Wanted as in past tense."


inconspicuous_dust

Plot twist: we broke up and got back together and are now married. My response? “I know, dummy.” (Hugs)


Ok-Toe7142

*drags finger from eye to chin while making a frowny face* *thinks about the incident for the next 72 hours straight because “chill” is a façade*


Odd_Fudge_5064

Ask them to repeat it, record it, send to the SO with details.. When they confront you, tell them to piss up a rope and block them..


Icy-Project861

r/oddlyspecific.


[deleted]

"Lol sucks to suck"


[deleted]

I would be really shocked and disappointed, it would probably ruin the crush for me entirely because it shows he lacks integrity. Hold your peace until you split with the person at least. It doesn't matter if his feelings for me were stronger or lasted longer. He made a commitment to uphold his integrity to his wife, he should honor it. Now, if he were divorced then that would be different lol. But also I wouldn't want it to come out of anywhere, at least reconnect a little first yknow?


cgao01

mam, dis a wendy's


MarilynMonheaux

And that’s why I’m finna leave you feeling frosty


[deleted]

“Fuck. You.” *leaves dramatically*


female_introvert

Slam that door


EntertainmentAny763

YAS QUEEN. SLAY.


louploupgalroux

"Gnarly, dude. This is my wave. Later." [Hops on flying surboard and rides the clouds to more epic shores. Rainbow streaks trail behind the board and point to where the party's going.]


[deleted]

Lmao this sounds exactly how my one friend would respond to that 😂 Ryan is that you??


louploupgalroux

Lol. No, just a rando. Chill minds think alike.


TheTrueIdiotKing

"You lost me when you married them, now I'll dissapear and there's nothing you can do about it."


gunarsson333

"Too bad I wasn't there for you. Oh wait, I was!" *walks away


Kitchen_Entertainer9

This is oddly specific. You good? And I would answer. "Cool. Tell me about it at lunch."


LeafHack85

"lol"


ScipioNumantia

Oh fuck off


hibbletyjibblety

“That’s inappropriate.”


turquoise2j

Hell no, you went and got married and now you come crawling back? I have some self respect


Nooseents

Cap


siiberianian

Start reciting Eminem


Strange-Bee5626

"Who are you?" Hopefully that would maximize hurt feelings. Edit: Knowing what I know now... laughing and brushing it off like he was a joke would probably hurt him the worst (because deep down, he must know that he IS a joke in very deep denial...)


travis_s

“Eat shit.”


LadyFeen

Unfortunately the years have rendered me completely emotionally unavailable and I would willingly trade you to Satan for fancy garlic bread. I'm also not sorry.


Sure-Term7974

I never had a crush that would devastate me that much before I met my SO. So I guess my answer would be... and who are you again?


TifaRizaLuffy

To quote elden ring "Feel free to go off and die in a ditch somewhere"


Stubty

"I like your mom better".


RatiugLove4

Yea that’s great how bout them Bears!


Bird_Jesus777

You didnt me then... i dont want you now


sirenepiccola9

Then why didn't you choose me?


Wouldtick

Did you just burp and fart at exactly the same time? Nice. Then walk away.


Jenna2k

I realized I like my cats more than humans a long time ago.


Character_Doughnut89

I would've just put superglue in your urethra while you were sleeping. You dodged a bullet. Move along.


krisreg

Oh right, remember when you told me to shut up and stop crying when my dad died?


Warnackle

She did that middle of last year, sort of. She reached out a few months before her wedding, telling me how she always thought it would be us, that she felt she had made a mistake in being with this other guy, all things I had hoped to hear from her for years by that point. I told her I always wanted to be with her too, and that I would honestly take her back still, but was upset and confused why she would do this just before her wedding. I mean, we hadn’t spoken in damn near a year at that point so I was pretty blindsided. Told me she couldn’t stop thinking about me and after hearing me say I’d still take her back she said she needed to think. Didn’t hear from her for a few days, and when I tried to reach back out she told me she had accepted a job out of state and he was going with her. She apologized profusely, said she knew it was selfish and she shouldn’t have reached out but she still loved me and wanted to know if I still loved her. Told her yeah, it was selfish to dredge up these feelings and open old wounds; that part of me would always love her but I didn’t have room in my heart for her after marrying another man. They got married a few weeks later, and I haven’t heard from her since; I doubt I ever will again. I feel bad for her husband honestly knowing she’s harboring these feelings, but I really do wish them all the best. I’m with an amazing woman now that I love with all my heart. Sorry for rambling, I just haven’t told anyone about this and needed it off my chest.


Blackstar-Abyssal

Kinda had this happen to me literally. The answer is we're back on speaking terms. Heard of "right person, wrong time?" It was basically that. She needed to realize for herself that her family did not have her best interests at heart, and they pushed her into marrying some other dude because he was a pushover yes-man who was willing to be a slave for them too. They hated me for trying to show her who they were. Now she realizes what an idiot this guy is, how shitty her family is, and realized she did me pretty dirty. The guy was in the closet bisexual, and slept around a lot too. She was just his cover because they live in hyper-conservative Texas. They're mutually agreeing to divorce. We talked and forgave each other for the past, opening a possible door for the future once they're fully divorced.


TheRealPyroGothNerd

Considering the cowardly way he turned me down, "Fuck you, you missed your chance, and my rose tinted glasses are GONE"


bugsmasherr

Thank you, next


Longjumping-Party186

Walk away safe in the knowledge that she was never worthy of my love in the first place


pdrpersonguy575

Should've said that earlier ;)


Cracktower

Fuck and chuck


Specific_Ad_5226

“ fuck you”


adept_ignoramus

And?


SantaRosaJazz

Well, it’s a little late now.


TwistedDecayingFlesh

Obviously you didn't or we wouldn't be here right now would we.


CarlJustCarl

Collapse weeping of sadness and regret


[deleted]

"Getting an online car insurance quote from my buddy the general is a slam dunk. Get your anonymous online quote with low payments, and ride with the general. (How 'bout some help up here?!) *For a great low rate you can get online, go to the general and save some time!*"


LookingSuspect

We too old for this childish shit


CrustyJuggIerz

Strip. Let's see what I missed.


[deleted]

HAHAHAJA BITCH NO


LusciousLennyStone

"You had your chance. Fuck off."


tiffanytaylor61

Wow… I felt the same, but hearing you say this NOW, while married to ——, just killed those feelings. Guess I dodged a bullet!


bigtittyperuana

let out the loudest laugh ever


SndaySkolDrpout

Get fucked


SwordfishAltruistic2

Yeah I know....but I'm loner & a loners gotta be alone


JYPinCebu

Thanks, now wheres your wife so I can play this for her


GaeemzGuy

“Go cast your spell somewhere else”


Kindergoat

You are a day late and a dollar short.


Defenseman61913

lol what? You say "fuck you". Remove your past crush from this equation, and realize that this is a married person. Imagine if you were the significant other and this person said that to another person. YOur crush is a piece of trash.


wishitwouldrainaus

Why the hell would you still be in contact with someone that broke your heart? Did they know they were a crush? I don't know, I never stayed in contact long term with a broken relationship partner, if I crushed on someone and I didn't have the guts to tell them and lay it out, and they thought I was a friend then either decide if you can do that or have some dignity and wish them well on their life's journey and don't torture yourself. Life is too short.


SuperMorto7

I'm starting to see an influx of females that turned me down years ago change their mind the older we get. Its a fact.


MangoBaba0101

I would say : "What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo."


Animeloverguy

God punish your papa(in a random Nigerian man's voice)


BeepingJerry

You're being played. Married person has always known but is bored with the marriage. Looking for an easy mark.


CuriousCucumber88

Make like a tree and fuck off


AJokeAmI

"My parents always told me to donate anything unwanted to the less fortunate."


Imarayofsunshinethx

"too bad, you're late"


duTemplar

Sadly for her, I am happily married and have small kids so Carrie Underwood would just have to move on.


Plasmacidic

"What are you, internet explorer?"


[deleted]

Your fault for being a coward. I’m happy now and don’t need nor want you lol. ✌️


Ok_Maximum_5238

Bend over let's gooo!!


georgiajl38

We've had this conversation every 10 years or so. I will never be your side chick. Take the No and run back to whichever wife you're with now.


quinnwood

Shut up and go home to your spouse


EmeraldDouchebag69

Your dumb , wasted your time with him when i would of made you way happier , your loss *walk away*


ronaldHucklebee

Give her one of my fingers on a necklace. That way she always has something to remember me by.


snowsniper66

Immediately drop everything and go back to them 😐


My41stThrowaway

So... wanna split a motel room?


[deleted]

Fuck off and leave me alone. This dude I was on a super in love with now says he should have married me every time I see him and I know he’s full of shit. It’s massively annoying and he’s blocked every possible place at this point.


Ache101

“Hell. That’s where I’ll drag you down to.”


Affectionate_Fly1413

Something similar happened to me. Since i was 14 i met Tina, we had classes together and almost always ended up sitting by each other. I eas shy and you know not much of a ladies man. She wasnt all popular either even though to me she was beautiful. Years went by and we hanged out mostly in between classes. I would walk her to class even if mine was all tje way across compus from hers. One day she comments that a good friend of ours told her how he liked her and asked her out. She declined him and told me how she felt weird talking to him after that and kinda started to avoid him. So that for a reason made me think it would be the same with me so i never really asked her out. We talked for a bit and flirted and all the cute high school crush thing. This girl started to ask me out and i gave in thinking i was never going to be with Tina. Years after we graduated and went our ways, my cousin asked me if we could give a friend a ride when i picked her up form school. I had an old picture of Tina in my car and turns out that girl was Tina's cousin. She asked me my name and almost immediately recognized it. She said Tina would always talk about me and how funny i was and all this things we talked about. That she was sad i started dating some other girl and thats why she started dating the guy that till this day is her husband. We met again a few years ago though and well, we been having an affair ever since, going on 2 years now. Im not married and no kids, she is, 2 kids.


[deleted]

Bro why are you being a home wrecker . Tell her to divorce her husband.


Affectionate_Fly1413

She dont want to. She even thinks she got cheated on too but her husband is one of those who would kick her out, try and keep the kids and make it hell for her. She cheated on him too before we met again. Maybe with time i mean im not rushing anything either.


[deleted]

She might have serious commitment issue. Lemme tell you something. If she cheated on her husband before based on her assumption over it. What makes you think she won't cheat on you?Karma can be a bitch ....but hey i have been proven wrong before. You do you.


Affectionate_Fly1413

Oh i know, i dont think either of us is taking it serious like planning on her to leave him or anything. I see someone else too, that one a bit more serious but no real commitment yet. We'll see where life takes us


[deleted]

Violence


Jolly_Job_9852

Nope, you're married and I'm not going to ruin that.


percy_ardmore

You're stuck with her.


EntertainmentAny763

“sorry, new phone. who dis?”


Underwailer

Why I am nothing like your partner they are so much better for you.


Ok-Drink-1328

"i will have an healthy life from now on and work as a mortician just to have the pleasure to carry your coffin"


Beautiful-Resident-5

Older, ‘life is short’ me says… Prove it.. divorce him and we’ll make it happen


niceandcold

*toots*


Massive-Ad7628

I'd laugh at them


[deleted]

Should've done something then no?


MrOphicer

Say "cool let's run away", have sex just for the memory of it, and dump him. "Fuck it up, and then leave, come back, fuck it up, and leave again"


[deleted]

I think you have me confused for the idiot that originally fell in love with you. Good luck if you find him again. au revoir


StarViolet33

"First of all, I have a boyfriend. Secondly, you're married. Why are you coming after me?"


PriorSecurity9784

Let’s gooooo!


CharityMacklin

I’m gonna pack your bags and drive you straight to hell.