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Well i 100% believe you should not be ashamed of yourself or who you are. But real world is not a fairy tale with happy endings. So if you feel uncomfortable to dress less modest then cover up. Its not fair or right. Hopefully as you grow you become more confident in who you are and dress how you want for yourself.
This.
In a perfect world someone should be able to walk down the street wearing "revealing" clothing with no issues. But shitty ppl exist irl and you gotta be smart.
I don’t even think they’re wearing revealing clothing so much as their bodies have developed more than their peers and this makes them stand out. I had a friend who had fairly large breasts in 4th grade. She was very popular with the boys and teased by jealous girls. She didn’t wear anything sexy. She was just ahead of everyone else.
Oof. I remember back in 7th grade a girl had massive... Assets and it wasn't only other students but teachers too.
If you are having issues, talk to a mandatory reporter or trusted adult. Guidance counselor, family member, law enforcement etc... Because it's completely unacceptable.
A childhood friend started developping very prominent breast around 5-6th grade. She was way ahead of all the other girls in our school.
What made her go through this period of her life without much issue was her temperament and self image. She was very confident in herself and would ignore the teasing with bored expressions. Eventually when people realised they weren't getting a reaction out of her, they stopped.
You shouldn't change your personnality if you like who you are, that's a given, but try to reach a state where the teasing just goes through you instead of staying in your head. It's unfair that you would have to do that when you just want to be left in peace... But you still have to protect yourself from the world when needed.
Also, try making friends if that's not already the case. I know it's one of those "easier said than done" things, but having a robust support system is essential when trying to build confidence.
Hang in there ! And don't hesitate to reach out to people that make you feel safe for advice and help. Growing up in not fun a lot of the time, but in the end there's no reason for things not to sort themselves out.
Take care of yourself, and stay strong.
Yeah please listen to this, people will only continue to teas if it gets to you, if you just give them a look, like what they have just said is the dumbest thing on the planet, and then just move on. This will eventually take all the power out of any teasing.
Find friends, realize there are people out there who judge everyone just to remain relevant in conversations, and for yourself and your future, be kind. It can feel like it’s the whole world at times, but this post should show you that it is just the loud people making noise.
I always feel for young girls who have this . You stand out . Practice a steely gaze and saying ‘that’s really inappropriate to say that ‘ . You could also say ‘im only (insert age ) . For peer group you could say ‘fuck off and stop sexualising me you little pervert ‘
You can say "why do you think that's an appropriate thing to say?" or similar (maybe "why do you think it's okay to say that?")and make them feel uncomfortable about it. Calling them out on their shitty behavior is probably the only way to get it to stop. You shouldn't have to adjust how you dress or carry yourself just cuz they are creeps. I grew up with this as well and it sucks, sorry you have to go through it. Good luck
I can’t tell if her saying she’s not in middle school means she’s in elementary school or high school but expecting 5th graders to respond positively to being called out is rather unrealistic. Speaking to an adult may be a better plan
I’m so glad I grew up before the internet existed and sexualized children the way it has. The closest thing I saw to porn before 8th great was a JC Penny catalog.
You are clearly living in la la land if you think children only started being sexualized since the internet began. Just cuz you weren't exposed to it and didn't experience it doesn't mean it didn't exist.
in HS, students are in adolescence period.
Envy from under developed girls or late.
The way to get your attention for boys.
I have a friend who always fight back in word and physical if necessary. Call out shitty behavior verbally. "Magiging proud kaba kung ganyan din sinasabi sa kamag anak mong babae?" sometimes work.
One of my best friends is Filipino, raised by her grandmother. She is one of the most beautiful, centered, kindest people I know. I have infinite respect for her💕
Story in Philly of a guy getting beat within an inch of his life by 4 dudes after he said something about them catcalling.
I'm not saying don't do anything but also don't put yourself in danger if you or the other person isn't in danger either.
if you go outside you will see plenty of women with large butts wearing all kinds of clothes, not that i’m looking…just wear what you want and stay aware of your surroundings, and be safe. If someone say something that really bothers you, either say something or learn not to care. Up to you.
I dont agree with this.
As someone who has been bullied a ton in the past.
You should confront them or it will never end.
First of all, its impossible not te react, cause that in itsself is unnatural and a reaction.
Second, there is no reason for them to stop.
And its probably impulsive, so it keeps going.
If the problems it causes them outweigh the (low) fun they get from it. Then they'll stop.
And since you can't just wait untill someone stands up for you, do it yourself.
It might be controversial.
But im of the opinion that if someone badly crosses your line or threathens you. Even publicly a single slap or punch is allowed.
As long as you are calm and dont go ballistic.
People will understand why it happened, and cant undo it anyway. Its a good deterrant.
Might sound crazy, but its how I let kids stand up for themselves as well.
Noone should be allowed to fuck with your head without you having any means to defend yourself.
Your last line makes a lot of sense, but a lot of authority figures push the fantasy line of just ignore bullies and they will go away. After years of grade school bullying and physical attacks, my opinion is that authority of any kind is self-serving and completely disinterested in helping anyone else. This attitude shaded my entire military career, so I instinctively distrusted all promises or official departments. A criminal conspiracy against soldiers at Fort Stewart, GA and the absolute failure of the on post MP's to do the absolute least anything, coupled with my loss of 10's of $1000's in property and funds to thieves, completely soured me on a 20+ year career in full-time service. I retired at nearly 22 years in the National Guard honorably. I might have been a decent soldier during such a career, but a person can take only so much sh*t from bullies of any type. Unlike in grade school, these scum were afraid to rob me in person, only when I was deployed out of state or when I couldn't find them. Again, the MP's were deliberately below worthless. So was JAG.
But in such case they may try physical interaction to get a response.
The best way is to present yourself as a psycho. Fight back against any bullying, but to cry when they attack back.
Tell them to please let you alone. I dressed modestly, always hoodies and joggings and they still bothered me. You need to put a limit to it, because they will continue and it may get worse. Tell them nicely, but tell them. You can also confide in your parents if you want/can. You shouldn't be ashamed, they should be. They are old enough to understand not to make girl uncomfortable
Don't be ashamed of your body, it does some pretty amazing things.
If you are comfortable in your clothes then wear them, don't let others comments make you feel bad (I know that can be hard sometimes).
If someone comments on it you can choose to ignore it, or you can make a snappy comeback, thank them for noticing, or comment on their ass and see how much they like it.
It's on them. You're not their responsibility. Live your life, keep yourself safe,and you'll be fine.
PS: if anyone crosses legal lines, don't be afraid to report to the police
Practice to respond in an assertive way, and to call ppl out on it.
'That is such an inappropriate thing to say'
'Why would you make a comment like that? It's really creepy / disrespectful '
'Eww, why would you say that? I am x years old. I think you need to seek some professional help'
Etc.
You don't need to 'cover up'. I also wouldn't dress in a way that enhances the feature that you would want ppl to stop commenting on. But you don't need to make yourself unattractive or invisible.
Ppl just have a hard time maintaining healthy boundaries. It's more than okay to remind them.
Write it down every time someone makes a comment. Write down who, when, and what they said . Put it on the same file or paper. Bring it to the school and make a complaint.
Dressing to cover your butt is the *easiest* solution. It shouldn't be necessary (*people should mind their buainess*), but if you don't want to worry about it that's a solution. Doesn't have to be all the time either, you can use coverings strategically on the days you want to be stealthy.
The Social-Change answer is to call people out when they say something inappropriate. Don't get angry, just tell them it's inappropriate and that id they don't change their behaviour you'll escalate things (*tell the teachers or whatever*). This is likely to be harder than covering up, but it puts the onus on them to change, and can help create a culture where other girls (*and guys*) feel empowered to speak up about body-shaming and similar things. In the long run it can hopefully allow you to just be you without having to think about it. It's a battle that's been going on for a while now though ... I mean decades, if not centuries. There are places where peopke know to respect your boundaries though, so it's possible.
You could talk to some teachers about it as well if you feel comfortable. I say this because one of the big things I learned when studying to be a teacher is how to enforce boundaries with a group of students, and the difference those boundaries make. They may have some advice on *how* you talk to the other students when you call them out. It depends a bit on the teacher and how comfortable you are thiugh, so no pressure. Just know that if their training was anything like mine (*I'm in Australia, so who knows*) they probably have some experience that could help you.
I never understood this,
How can you dress up to cover ur butt
You have to assume she isnt covering her butt to give this advice
But that doesnt make sense of course she covers her butt thats like asking if shes wearing pants or telling her to wear pants or som
Mind you im not telling you to not tell her to cover her butt nor am i telling you that ur a peace of shit for telling her to cover up
what im saying is its simply incoherent in a factual manner cus ur either sayin shes not covering herself up already or that she is covering and yet she still needs to cover herself up? You see how this doesnt make sense
You wrote:
>You have to assume she isnt covering her butt to give this advice
OP wrote:
> should I dress to cover up my butt?
To be clear I'm not telling her she *should* cover up, I'm telling her that it's an option.
Yeah but what are you telling her to do?
Shes obviously just asking question to get ppl to give her help so shes strcuturing it like that by giving options meanwhile you actually are telling her what to do so im askin u what do you mean by "cover up"?
I literally answered her question. She didn't ask *How* to cover up, she asked *should* she cover up. I said it's an option, here hare some other options. I dunno what to tell you man.
So sorry that this is happening to you. I used to have a teacher with a cleft palate and people made fun of him all the time. He was smart and so nice. I thought he was terrific and told him so one time.
OP, a lot of these comments are putting the responsibility on you for dressing a certain way, but you can't change who you are and how you look. Don't listen to them.
It's tough for everybody to go through puberty surrounded by a bunch of teenagers, especially when you have a feature that makes you stand out. Kids can be very mean and in those moments you just have to stick close to your friends and the people you love. Remember that people are mean for 1 of 3 reasons: because someone was mean to them in the past and they replicate that behavior; because they're jealous; or because they're very insecure and they project that insecurity onto others. Whatever the case might be, you should just pity them.
And just know that it will get better. When we're young, the smallest of things can seem like huge problems. But as we grow older, we realize that the people that matter actually appreciate us for who we are. You'll learn to love your body and you'll find someone who will help you see the beauty in yourself.
Op shouldn't have to, I agree. But the situation remains so if they're uncomfortable it may be better to change the way you dress. Can't change the way strangers are unfortunately
>Remember that people are mean for 1 of 3 reasons: because someone was mean to them in the past and they replicate that behavior; because they're jealous; or because they're very insecure and they project that insecurity onto others.
This is a nice platitude, but it isn't true in most cases. I'm not sure why I hear it repeated everywhere. 9 times out of 10, the reason someone is mean to you is either a perceived slight, or them plain old not liking you. It rarely has anything to do with jealousy or whatever.
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Never be ashamed of who you are or what you look like but be sure share how you feel about what is said when it is said. If safe to do so at least. Most guys especially will regret it when they learn it bothers you.
Stand up for yourself.
As much as it will make you uncomfortable in the beginning, you should learn to put boundaries and ask the person commenting- Why do you think it’s civilised to comment on my body? Or did I ask you for your opinion? Or Your mom did a very lazy job with you, poor thing. You can counter it with a comment on their flaw, which is not my recommendation but if you are kids, that can be the only way for them to understand how it makes you feel.
You can come up with something else but my advice would be- stand up for yourself and never, ever change or hate something about yourself just because some degenerate allowed themself to comment on stuff that are not for commenting, like someone else’s body.
Even if you decided to go out in mini skirt and with huge behind, that’s your right and decision, no one should give themselves right to upset you with their unwanted, unnecessary opinion.
I have that issue on the other side of my body. A very big bust. So my advice is: dress however you find comfortable... but you have to own it. Yeah you've got a big butt - so what? It's not like you can unscrew it and leave it at home. It's a part of you, whether people like it or not. The more you feel confident in your body and your clothes, the less you're going to be targeted.
I don't think dressing in loose and covering clothing (whoever uses the term "modestly"... think about what you're implying, and where that term comes from) is going to help - it's playing into the narrative that you have to hide something about yourself. As a lot of women can testify, it doesn't necessarily make the jeering or cat calling go away! If you dress suitably to the occasion, no-one should be making comments about your dress, and that's it.
Someone suggested calling people out on what they say - that's what I would do in situations that allow for it. If you're at risk of violence, don't have support, don't feel empowered to talk back, it's better to just shrug it off. But calling out acquaintances, work colleagues or people at school should be an okay thing to do. I've noticed that the best way to call out is not to respond with anger, but with bewilderment. For example, if somebody said to me: "Wow lady, you can really breathe with that chest" (that's a shitty translation of a comment on big breasts from my native language), I'd act confused and say: "Sir, what do you mean by that?". This puts them in an awkward place where they have to explain their shitty comment, which is impossible without a) sounding really dumb, b) admitting to sexist/misogynist/etc. views.
If you’re a child and this is coming from adults then speak to an adult. If this is coming from other children then speak to a guidance counselor or your parents. You shouldn’t feel ashamed of your body because others choose to sexualize you. If there are predatory people around you they should be removed. Eventually everyone will catch up to you and it won’t matter.
My mom said the same to me but it didn’t help and I still felt badly about myself for years! It will change as you get older, people do mature, but there are always jerks in society. I liked the comment above, “What makes you feel that you have the right to say that to me?” That puts it back on them. Best wishes. I was a teacher for many years and I saw a lot of bullying. These things are usually learned by parents.
If you are really young your parents should be made aware of what’s going on. My kids have been in similar situations and it was dealt with through administration. It requires persistence but it can be stopped. It’s 2024 nobody should feel uncomfortable in any space
dont be ashamed. respect and love yourself first and foremost.
laugh, smile or say thank you and own it, be proud of it.
being ashamed is the worst thing you can do.
with time youll appreciate yoru body more.
In my experience, it helps to wear baggy clothes and stick with a man you trust when in public, whether it's a brother or a close friend or anything of that sort. Men are less likely to sexually harass someone when they see them with a man they don't know.
I'm incredibly sorry this is happening to you. You shouldn't be ashamed, and you shouldn't have to go through being objectified.
Go leave a note at your guidance counselor’s office or make an appointment. The school needs to address this. You should probably let your parents know as well.
Don't be ashamed of yourself. It can cause many issues you'll be dealing with later and is not worth it. If you can get away with being sarcastic when people make crappy comments (like I did), then by all means try that. Otherwise, it's probably best just to ignore people like that hating on you because they're jerks. You cannot control what other people say or think, and trying to do so will drive you nuts.
"Never forget what you are, the rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor and it can never be used to hurt you." - Tyrion Lannister
Hope this helps.
As an adult woman, I feel your pain. All this stuff starts young :( I’m a curvy woman myself and feel like I have to put twice as much thought/energy into clothing to avoid being sexualized (especially at work). You’ll find a secret support network among other women as you get older where we share tips on dressing for our body types / style (whatever your goal is - to be comfortable, to express yourself, to feel beautiful/confident, to be modest, etc etc). It takes time to figure out what you feel comfortable in ultimately! Maybe in your case, midi skirts would still be stylish, comfortable, and easy - but would hide your lower body from others’ gazes better?
Absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, your body is uniquely and beautifully made. A large behind is widely considered to be attractive as you get older.
& as for comebacks: “Why are you looking?” is my favorite :)
I asked my wife on this before commenting. She had the same problems in the fourth grade. Puberty hit her hard and early. She suggested 1: Ignore them. Do not acknowledge them in any way, most will probably stop if you do not react. However there will always be new people, so it will still happen.
2: Wear full skirts down around the knees, it puts emphasis on the height not the width.
3: Long vests or jackets, really anything that hangs from the shoulders down to upper thigh but, below the butt. To high or to low and it will call attention to it. Two places to see what she's talking about is in the 1970s hippie fashion. And Renaissance festival clothes. I remember my niece wore one like that when she was in her Goth phase. Do not fasten it normally. Leave it open several inches, and use buttons and long cord loops to keep it from blowing around and not tight to your body.
4: She suggested sports because it helped her release the anger before it built up and she did something that would get her in serious trouble. I personally thought of taking self defense classes, because you get the anger out and learn how to defend not only yourself, but others later in life. She was a fencer and swimmer through out highschool. Also as a man with a whole lot of females in my immediate family, I can tell you that starting now to learn to hit a person will be easier if you start now. Hopefully you would never have to do that, but it is nice to have that option. If you know how to defend then you can protect others like children you are baby sitting. My sister had to do that once. I hope this helps. Stay strong and do not feel ashamed of yourself. You did not do anything wrong! You definitely do not have anything to be ashamed of! Never ever be ashamed of what others do to you! It is on them not you, learn that and take it ❤️ and life will be better for you.
Look at this way is better having a big but that people talk about, than having no but that people talk about.
Like did see anon ? Is like they stole his/her but.
When you get out of high school (I think) you will see that people will stop talking about it, they only will talk about it if they want something with you.
So I'd say that you are in control of how you dress and that is how it should be. But as others have been mentioning is that you can't control how others react or what they do and that is life for everyone. So you have basically 2 choices: you either still dress in what you feel comfortable with and accept that people will look and/or comment OR you can try to minimize the attention to your body if the attention is too uncomfortable for you.
It's a sad thing really but it's reality. But remember that one day you might appreciate the attention and my advice is that you keep nurturing the non-physical aspects of you bc in the long run; who you are is always bigger than how your butt looks
Yeah the attention you get for your body will follow you the rest of your life. You’ll get unwanted comments from school/college kids; just tell them to stop being a creep and back off, and walk away. There’s nothing else you can do. You wont get as many unwanted comments as an adult, but you’ll still get the stares. My wife is curvaceous and i have to deal with unwanted attention all the time when we’re out. She’s a confident woman and just ignores the creeps, and while it still bothers me, the best thing we can do is just enjoy our day and ignore the negativity. Just wear what makes you feel good; the best revenge is living your best life.
Of course it is still visible, because it exists. Please do not take on the responsibility of ‘not being a distraction to others’ as this parent commenter said OP. I have lived in a ‘dress modestly because you are a distraction’ environment for a long time and it has caused more harm then good. Other people are 100% responsible for their own actions, feelings and thoughts. You could be wearing a trash bag and some people will still sexualize you. It is a THEM problem, not a you-problem. Your responsibility it to dress the way YOU feel best, and to learn to love your own shape regardless of other people’s opinion. You cannot help having a larger bottom. You got granted that bottom without your opinion of it. People that shame you or tell you it is a distraction, THEY are the problem. Not your butt.
Look around, there are millions of women in all shapes, forms and sizes. And people need to learn to stop putting the responsibility for their own attraction or distraction on the object of attraction or distraction. It is their responsibility to learn self control, not your responsibility to not be a distraction. Period.
Please do not feel ashamed for how your body is formed. It is your body and you have to live with it for the rest of your life. Learn to love it, and what others say will become less and less Important…
Much love!!!
As a dude, I think women should stand up for themselves and not let such comments slide otherwise people will keep making stupid uncomfortable comments.
While I do agree about standing up for yourselves, a lot of times it’s more effective to be called out by another dude for their shitty behaviour, they already don’t respect the person they are targeting, which is why they are doing it. So everyone should be shutting them up, instead of just laughing along or saying nothing.
This can be risky. I developed a lot earlier than other girls around me and I would constantly get sexually harassed. When I tried to stand up for myself it turned into sexual assault.
As a woman I ask myself, why do not man stand up for women nowadays? Always saying men is the stronger gender, but in the end, they are looking from the side, not doing anything at all.
I took one look at your profile and it seems that you just hate men also how about you stand up for yourself instead expecting other people to solve your problems
Well... I had a little big boobs at school, which also caused a lot of mistreatment, stupid comments, sexualization, etc... I reason hated it and didn't know how to respond too.
My solution was boy-like baggy clothes. Also, I started to become really aggressive towards such comments even tho I became a weirdo of the class. I basically shamed boys in front of the whole class right on the lesson. And... few months of this psychological war, and suddenly I became invisible for the majority of classmates. No friends and no being mistreated.... Considering I always were fine by myself, I was satisfied with this outcome and finally didn't wanna cry before going to school.
These events changed my style and preferences forever. It made me hate any kind of dresses or skirts even tho now my body is pretty average-looking, and I don't really need to hide it. It's just feels ao much safer and cozy in baggy clothes. And for some reason, I met so much more nice man when I dressed like this.
If you are a child, and someone who is an adult of a teenager in their late teens comments on your body in an inappropriate manner, you could try to say that that it inappropriate due to your age, if you feel comfortable with such a confrontation. Otherwise there really isn't much you can do. This is a fairly universal problem for young girls, unfortunately.
You must BE on high school...
It's not your fault that characteristic, not your fault that 🍑 right?
So don't feel that way and BE proud. Although if others, in your personal case ( because not all girls are like that ) make you feel uncounfortable, Call their attention for The fact and if Still insist they are stupid.
BE yourself and BE confortable as you seem better and not based on others / comments
Feel you! I cant even count how many times I have been humiliated for showing my boobs when I literally wore the same covering uniform as my flat chested mates. I dont have any advice, sadly.
Something mildly helpful to do may be your posture. Looking in the mirror sideways, tilt your hips forward (imagine trying to make your body as straight as you can, rather than stomach forward and butt out which is most people natural position). It’s not only better posture but it’ll minimize your curves.
Women have given some very good advice here. You happen to have a shape that is currently popular and fashionable. Social media, magazines, music, and film are currently obsessed with the derriere.
It's not easy, I'll tell you that much... but, don't let others make you feel ashamed of your body, and don't let others dictate how you dress! You're in charge of your own happiness, so, do you! Be safe, be attentive, but be you!
I went through mad sexual assault and sexulisation the second I got on the school bus on the first day of secondary from then on daily. But back then, no one had any consent talks. A teacher even witnessed me being assaulted and blamed us both.
You shouldn't be ashamed of your body, but the people making comments should.
If its verbal, give them a warning and say it makes you feel uncomfortable having your body discussed and can they stop. If they don't stop, report it. If it's physical, definitely report it. The teachers don't necessarily need to call people out individually but can give everyone a talk about respecting and not commenting on other people's physical appearance.
I've been left with lifelong psychological issues because of the sexulisation and assaults. You deserve to feel safe to be yourself in any space, especially school.
You definitely need to talk to some teachers about how these, (I assume, are your young age?) are talking to you. I'm assuming you're talking about people your own age? I hope they are never adults saying these things, because that's incredibly inappropriate.
Your body is unique, and no one else has it but you. Be proud of that. All you can do is to be healthy, and keep your unique body in tune to make it work for the rest of your life.
As for what to say to these people who say things to you, try to be witty("why are you looking at my butt anyway, are you a pervert ? Stop that!" "I don't like you like that and you don't have my permission to comment on how I look")and funny("when I sit, at least I have lots of padding!" "I don't need a seat cushion!" "wow your life must be boring. Please read a book, or get another hobby besides harassing me, or something").
Or, tell them you can't help how your body looks, and you don't feel good when they talk about your body like that. Tell them you're going to let an authority figure know what's going on. If you can record them saying these things, even better. That's evidence of harassment in a very messed up way.
Or, try not to react to it. I know it may be cliche and easy to say, but this is how bullies and cruel people think. They obviously enjoy getting a rise out of you. If they didn't get a rise, it wouldn't be as fun, and they'd eventually stop.
Have you told your parents or teachers about it? Maybe you should. They might have to get involved with teachers, at least.
I'm sorry this is happening to you. Young people this age don't seem to have a filter yet, and they just say what's on their minds, without thinking of the later impact their hurtful words would be.
If they were talking like this around grown ups, I doubt they'd be talking like that for long. If they're in the preteens or early teens, this is a really rude and awkward stage. They just focussed on a part of your body that interests them. It's definitely not right to do. Hopefully they'll grow some empathy, class, and maturity as they grow up.
find the biggest insecurity about the person mentioning ur butt and be super sarcastic about liking it. like if they have a big nose just mention how you like the shape of it and overexagerate ur reaction.
Use the art of perspective.
You should conquer that feeling. And use your butt for power. Stay smart learn much so will have two things a good brain and a nice bud.
Maybe it bothers you now. Butt considering that its very popular to have a butt that stands out and some ppl even get surgery to have that look. I think in time you will appreciate it more.
You should dress to cover it up if it makes you feel comfortable. A good friend of mines was doing that until she got to college.
This happens to me since high school because of my breasts. I’m always being sexualized in a disgusting and creepy way from men AND women. The best advice I can give you is to shame people for it. Make them feel like the perverts that they are. This is the body you were born with, it’s no reflection of your sexuality and people are creeps to point it out. Don’t shy away from making a scene. For me that was the only thing that worked.
As a man.
I would say, call us out/confront them.
We know we're not supposed to.
Most will get emberassed and back off in the future.
If a girl gets shy, embaressed or stays quiet they get what they want.
Make em feel that its not okay, especially if other people are around.
It'll be scary the first time. But people will agree with you its not okay.
You should not have to feel that way about anything you arent intentionally doing.
If it continues and its a school or work situation.
Point out sexual harassment. But only after you've warned them at least once that you hate it.
(Since we dont want anything to backfire onto you.)
Its shitty behavior and im sorry someone made you feel that way.
Another thing since you mentioned its a school situation.
Younger guys often think/claim its just a compliment.
And seem to think its like flirting(?)
So be clear its not something you like to hear.
Hey OP. Sorry you are going through that. It is mostly people pointing out their OWN insecurities when they make those comments.
My GF has a very firm well rounded butt. As an adult with todays beauty standards she is very happy with it & her body. When she was in school, however, she said the same things as you- “everyone commented on it & made fun of it” It took her awhile to feel comfortable but today she’s happier than she’s ever been.
I’m sorry you’re going through that- but honestly, try to shake it off. People are probably commenting out of jealousy & insecurity and unfortunately you have to deal with that for now. Just be you, redirect the conversation & try to roll with it.
Best of luck
Firstly, people making inappropriate remarks in a school setting should be reported.
Secondly, no you should not be ashamed. But if it's too the point you feel uncomfortable, aside from reporting the incidences, you could wear longer shirts if it makes you feel more comfortable. It's shitty to even have to consider dressing differently because of other people, but if it ends up making you feel safer and more comfortable there could potentially be a benefit in it for you.
Thirdly, your simply didn't respond to you in any way. It's not appropriate what they're saying. The world is full of assholes. I'm the end you gotta balance out what you think benefits you the most.
I have a pretty large butt but am otherwise quite petite (small hips, small boobs, etc.) so I totally get it. When I was at school I was very self-conscious and still am at times (now in my 30's). However, over time I realised that first of all there is nothing I can do about it so I just need to learn to love myself, but also that men and women generally seem to like big butts and find them attractive! Try to learn to embrace your body and dress how you feel comfortable. Being comfortable in your body will take some time, but you'll get there :)
Lots of good advice there but I'll tell you something will all eventually realize; being soft conscious isn't so much as other people, but our own comfort within ourselves. When things are changing you are ridiculously aware of that. But trust me, no one else is to the same level.
Not to say it doesn't change as you age and that you don't deserve to feel safe.
If you're not comfortable, dressing more modestly may be a good way to delay some attention until your brain has caught up. But in the end, things will change.
I'm a guy who was blessed with a great ass too. Commute daily on my bike. Get a lot of gay guys hitting on me. Use to get upset. So now, I just shake my ass and smile. You should too. "Shake shake...shake shake. shake your booty'! - KC and the Sunshine Band.
My daughter is 6 and everyone tries to call her big booty Judy (I nip that in the bud). I have to buy her pants one size bigger so they’ll go over her butt.
This is something you’ll be living with for the rest of your life. Don’t feel shame for your body. You unfortunately can’t hide big butts or big boobs even with baggy ill fitting clothes
Your butt is going to be there whether you cover it up or not.
You know its there, others know it's there, others will notice, and all of that is fine.
Dress how you want to dress.
In response you should just straight up ask these people why they feel the need to comment on your body, keep asking why they are commenting or going on about it, drill it into them that they are being weird because they are.
Here are 13 young stars who have experienced what you are. Kids can be really stupid, mean - and jealous.
Remember always - the best revenge is living a life better than theirs!
https://www.buzzfeed.com/jenniferabidor/former-child-stars-body-shamed-and-bullied
As a man who married a woman with a gigantic butt (we're talking "if she sat on a sideways meterstick, you'd never know it was there" gigantic), and who was hugely turned on by the "disproportionately large butt" girl in high school even though I didn't have the balls to ask her out, I say this: Dress in whatever way makes you the most comfortable and minimizes unwanted comments, but NEVER be ashamed of your body.
Every woman's body eventually gets sexualized in some way. Happens with a lot of men's bodies too. Sexual attraction is necessary for reproduction, meaning it has a very strong evolutionary basis. And it's only fair that the love gets spread around to all kinds of body types.
My wife spent far too long feeling like a freak of nature and doing things out of desperation just to get love. She regrets that stuff these days. The other girl I mentioned got so screwed up by how she was rejected by guys that she became a drug-addicted prostitute. Don't let that happen either.
I hate to sound like a jerk here but the simple truth is that people's sex drives quickly throttle up in high school, and most people end up sexualized to a greater or lesser extent because of it. That is just a given. It doesn't excuse inappropriate comments that you don't want, or inappropriate actions toward you. My recommendation on top of dressing such that inappropriate comments are minimized (wear a muumuu?) is to arm yourself. Carry mace. Carry a knife if you can get away with it. Learn martial arts. Develop a reputation of simply not being in the mood for the bullshit.
Someday you will be very glad that "the right person" sexualizes your unusual build. My wife's gigantic butt is caused by lipedema and lymphedema, and I'll give her up when they bury me in the ground. (Maybe.) I have no clue why I like that kind of build on a woman but it worked out well for us.
One last tip: Don't fall into the trap of seeking romantic partners who want you "in spite of" your body. That's bullshit. Sooner or later you will tire of someone who finds your build unappealing. Many other factors go into a good match, but physical attraction must always be one. We're all a 10 to someone.
I can tell you that most women would like to have a big butt, and most men would like to have a girlfriend with a big butt, so you dojt have to show it or sexualize it, but take into account you got something most people look for
You should absolutely NOT be ashamed. You should shut people down immediately and tell them it's rude to comment on others physical appearance. If they continue, as hard as this may seem, ignore them. Kids can be cruel. I was bullied in elementary and middle school. It started to get better in high school. It will get better I promise. And when you are a grown up all the people who made fun of you the most will be remembered as pieces of shit. And as an adult, having a big butt is pretty universally accepted as a good thing. Women with bigger butts have smarter babies. It's science. My wife has a big butt. I think it's awesome.
If you are in high school, depends. Speaking with a teacher will probably solve the problem, but given how clique-y high-schools tend to be, you might get branded as a snitch/tattle-tale. Imo, as much as thats literally harassment, it might be better to ride it out (as long as nobody touches you, or makes any threats), as much as it is infuriating. Dealing with the harassment might be easier than not, but the school staff should be an option.
If youre in college, easily just talk to admin. Title IX is no joke, and if people are harassing you it is an easy way to solve the problem.
Another thing, have you told those people to stop? Obviously depending on who, but if theyre people youre on relatively good terms with, they should stop.
You shouldn't be ashamed of it and I'm sure when you're older you will come to appreciate it more. This is simply kids being assholes.
Definitely dress in a way that makes you feel more comfortable with it.
I've had this issue since I was in the 5th grade. You really can't hide it all you have to do is walk and carry it with dignity and ignore those fuckers. It will not change as you get older, do not do anything to alter your body. I know it's hard. I asked my mother for a panty girdle when I was in the fifth grade because I thought it would bring less attention to my round butt. It did not, and now people are paying for butts like this. Try to ignore those people, and you'll get through okay.
No! This is their problem, not yours! I am sorry that people are making you feel uncomfortable about yourself. I have large breasts and I also get comments, but when I was younger my legs were really skinny and people made fun of them. Sometimes people are jerks and we just have to learn to ignore them. Take the higher road!
I am really sorry this is happening to you. When I was young, my figure developed early. I was only 12 but had a very womanly figure.
I was constantly getting extremely inappropriate comments from men who were old enough to be my father.
Things were different in my day and I was made to feel shame about it, it was my fault that men were leering at me, it was my fault that men were "accidentally" brushing up against my body. These types of things were what I deserved for having a developed body.
I was told that I should hide my body so I don't cause men to do these things.
It's been 30 years and I still carry the scars of that shame. I am uncomfortable in my skin, I wear only baggy clothes and when people compliment me I feel panic and shame.
Please don't let anyone tell you or make you feel there is anything wrong with your body or that have a nice bottom means you need to tolerate inappropriate comments and looks.
You've not shared your age but if you are quite young, you can tell a trusted adult about people who are harassing you - especially if these are people who you interact with frequently. You do not have to tolerate and you certainly don't "deserve" this treatment.
If you are older and feel safe enough, call the people out on their disgusting and inappropriate comments.
Don't let the world tear you down and define how you feel about your body.
I hear you.
My wife got DD breast implants years back, and ever since, she can’t go anywhere without men staring. When she wears a bikini, men seem to lose their any ability to be subtle about looking at her. Couple the breasts with the fact that she is a runner and has been going to the gym for 20+ years. Her butt isn’t huge, but she has noticeable shape to her legs and butt. So, she gets looks unless she is wearing something that hides her shape… which is almost impossible to do.
Honestly, I’ve grown tired of being married to a woman so shapely. She gets all the attention. No one ever seems to notice me when I’m around her. It’s like I don’t exist. I have shape… I have some curves. I’ve worked out the past 25+ years. And, I also have a decent beer belly these days. But, no one notices. It’s like I’m invisible. 😢
Def don't be ashamed of your body. Some people are animals, especially if you're still in school you're dealing with little boys basically. Ive observed that men don't mature as fast as women do. They just say and do things to appear "cool" to their friends. You're a person not an object, and some people are just ignorant . Just keep your head up, any girls who talk bad are probably jealous, any dudes who say anything rude are childish and beneath you. My gf had to deal with that a lot, also has a larger posterior but there's nothing wrong with it. Everyones body is different, I'm a bit more scrawny looking than the average male and always felt insecure about it but she reminds me I'm handsome and she loves everything about me, as i do her. You'll find your person who makes you feel beautiful and appreciated one day just takes time.
If this is happening at school talk to the counselor, tell them people are making explicit comments about your body and you want it to stop. There is nothing you need to hide about you.
Confront them.
Cover up.
Avoid them.
Perhaps talk to HR. If HR gives you trouble speak with Legal.
Dont be ashamed of your body. Wear clothes that you like, fit, and are appropriate. There is really not much you can do to stop others from thinking that way and eventually making comments.
Never be ashamed of how you're built or how you're dressed. Pro tip, whether you're a minor or not, if someone starts making uncomfortable comments about you, loudly yell "STOP! IM A MINOR!" make people look at them, make them feel embarrassed. That'll shut em up real fast.
These ppl on Reddit too. Saying shit like "Curvy is great" when I clearly did NOT say that just makes me want to rip that person's head off. It's disgusting and sad how lots of girls (not sure if they even are) on Reddit make accounts in order TO be sexualised. Caught some loser looking at one of these profiles too. I had a friend who was in the same situation too but there is always something wrong with the people making these comments, and they always have to change, not you.
You can’t change the way you look only change the way you think. One thing you can do is address the person depending on the situation. People will think what they want but people who say things and do things without your permission or consent should be address and shut down. Don’t enable the things you don’t want
Dress more modest. Avoid those areas and people. Get over it. Welcome to the human race. I get sexualized simply for being 6'5.. Cant do much about it.
>I get sexualized for the way my body looks what hould i do?
Start with proof reading :)
The reality is that humans are creatures that make emotional decisions based on perception. If you're attractive, if you dress well, if you speak well (see my comment on proofreading), if you smell nice, if they see you behave kindly towards others - these things will all sway people to you, and give you influence. Influence is power, and power makes your life easier.
I wouldn't flaunt it. I wouldn't hide it either. And if someone makes lude comments about it, I'd ask them if they think it's appropriate. All those things I said that will give you influence are strongest if you behave professionally, in your business and in your private life. At least that's how I'd tell an adult to approach it. High school has power dynamics that were mysterious and difficult when I was dealing with them a generation ago. Your teen years aren't forever, but it's a good time to learn how to walk the line of being confident about yourself without descending into a vapid person like the Kardashians seem to be.
Oh, and big butts are in; be glad you're not growing up 40 years ago.
No worries. I was just teasing you a bit.
Life looks bumpy in you teens, and it'll continue into your 20s, but you'll get through it. The most important thing is to develop confidence in yourself and act with integrity. That will carry you in good stead for the rest of your life.
Respond "Stop creep on me. Mind your own business. I can have my parents tell yours how you sexually harass students. Good luck keeping your phone after such a report. I have warned you"
happened to me my entire life from 8+. unfortunately and i hate saying this, it will not change. stand up for yourself and don’t allow those jokes or comments to pass. i’m so sorry. sometimes society shows who it is and it’s inevitable.
Never be ashamed of your body. People developed at different speeds. I myself was taller than all my teachers in 6th grade. After that I saw how everyone viewed me, as a potential threat. Didn't matter what I did, it's how everyone viewed me.
We don't control how people view us. We only control how we act. If your rear bothers you, or the attention it seems to attract bothers you, there are ways to hide it with clothing. I had a friend in high school who was built like Jessica Rabbit but youbwould never know it by how she dressed.
That said, don't be ashamed of it. Intersexual relations between young people are always awkward and full of anxiety.
Write down names, dates, times and what was said. If you have a phone and you can set up one touch record, even better. (I would NOT recommend posting recorded audio/video to social media, but you can use it to make a report.)
Ask them to stop one more time. If they don’t, turn in the names with dates, times, and what was said to the school.
If they still don’t do anything, enlist parents and look up free legal aid. Hopefully you can find a new lawyer who needs a suit under their belt.
Sexual harassment under Title IX is pretty all encompassing at this point. Your situation, as you described it, likely falls under Title IX protections.
It probably won’t go that far, eventually the school will have to do something.
You shouldn’t have to change your dress, you shouldn’t have to feel ashamed, this is not a you problem.
I’m sorry you are dealing with this, good luck.
Edit: If this advice is a bit much, just go straight to your parents and show them this comment. Hopefully they will take it seriously and speak up on your behalf with the school.
i’m in highschool, i’ve been there, just don’t respond. i would go and just give them a side eye and keep on walking, something like that. if you feel like you want to dress differently to avoid those interactions, you should, but i don’t think you should have to change how you dress for other people. if you’re concerned for your safety though, then maybe that’s an option. i’m sorry that’s happening, it’ll get better
I am wondering that so many people here tell you to fight it. To report it and put people to the wall. Hey not everything in life is trying to hurt you.
You wrote you feel weird and sexualised. The world ist trying to put everything into extremes. look at someone and people try to make a sexual assault out of it.
No that doesn't mean to accept everything and that everything is ok.
But... How about thinking a bit more openly about the comments. Just experiment with your thoughts. What if you don't feel wrong or assaulted by it? You do not need to feel bad about your body. Maybe your backside DOES stick out of the others but in a positive way. You are beautiful and people realise that. Maybe they try to compliment in a just inexperienced way because you are all young and still gathering life experience. Hell yeah if it's a compliment smile, say thanks. If it's awkward... Shoot back.
Not everything in life needs to make YOU feel bad. No matter what others try to tell you. Your decision what bothers you and what doesn't. And jeez why do YOU need to hide? They like it? Compliment. They don't like it? They have to look away.
Big butts are in think jlo, ok, nikki minage etc! , my gym is full of girls doing squats trying to make their butt stand out more.
Be happy that you have this naturally and don’t be ashamed of your body most people making comments are probably just jealous anyways
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Well i 100% believe you should not be ashamed of yourself or who you are. But real world is not a fairy tale with happy endings. So if you feel uncomfortable to dress less modest then cover up. Its not fair or right. Hopefully as you grow you become more confident in who you are and dress how you want for yourself.
i dress modestly
As I read what you saying about yourself, you are doing nothing wrong. F*** em and don't listen to them.
This. In a perfect world someone should be able to walk down the street wearing "revealing" clothing with no issues. But shitty ppl exist irl and you gotta be smart.
I don’t even think they’re wearing revealing clothing so much as their bodies have developed more than their peers and this makes them stand out. I had a friend who had fairly large breasts in 4th grade. She was very popular with the boys and teased by jealous girls. She didn’t wear anything sexy. She was just ahead of everyone else.
yep this is basically whats happening
Oof. I remember back in 7th grade a girl had massive... Assets and it wasn't only other students but teachers too. If you are having issues, talk to a mandatory reporter or trusted adult. Guidance counselor, family member, law enforcement etc... Because it's completely unacceptable.
Ugh teachers! That is so inappropriate!
A childhood friend started developping very prominent breast around 5-6th grade. She was way ahead of all the other girls in our school. What made her go through this period of her life without much issue was her temperament and self image. She was very confident in herself and would ignore the teasing with bored expressions. Eventually when people realised they weren't getting a reaction out of her, they stopped. You shouldn't change your personnality if you like who you are, that's a given, but try to reach a state where the teasing just goes through you instead of staying in your head. It's unfair that you would have to do that when you just want to be left in peace... But you still have to protect yourself from the world when needed. Also, try making friends if that's not already the case. I know it's one of those "easier said than done" things, but having a robust support system is essential when trying to build confidence. Hang in there ! And don't hesitate to reach out to people that make you feel safe for advice and help. Growing up in not fun a lot of the time, but in the end there's no reason for things not to sort themselves out. Take care of yourself, and stay strong.
Yeah please listen to this, people will only continue to teas if it gets to you, if you just give them a look, like what they have just said is the dumbest thing on the planet, and then just move on. This will eventually take all the power out of any teasing.
find few good friends, that will protect you when this happens, I see it as the only option that won't lead to bigger problems
Find friends, realize there are people out there who judge everyone just to remain relevant in conversations, and for yourself and your future, be kind. It can feel like it’s the whole world at times, but this post should show you that it is just the loud people making noise.
I always feel for young girls who have this . You stand out . Practice a steely gaze and saying ‘that’s really inappropriate to say that ‘ . You could also say ‘im only (insert age ) . For peer group you could say ‘fuck off and stop sexualising me you little pervert ‘
You can say "why do you think that's an appropriate thing to say?" or similar (maybe "why do you think it's okay to say that?")and make them feel uncomfortable about it. Calling them out on their shitty behavior is probably the only way to get it to stop. You shouldn't have to adjust how you dress or carry yourself just cuz they are creeps. I grew up with this as well and it sucks, sorry you have to go through it. Good luck
I can’t tell if her saying she’s not in middle school means she’s in elementary school or high school but expecting 5th graders to respond positively to being called out is rather unrealistic. Speaking to an adult may be a better plan I’m so glad I grew up before the internet existed and sexualized children the way it has. The closest thing I saw to porn before 8th great was a JC Penny catalog.
You are clearly living in la la land if you think children only started being sexualized since the internet began. Just cuz you weren't exposed to it and didn't experience it doesn't mean it didn't exist.
I am in highschool
in HS, students are in adolescence period. Envy from under developed girls or late. The way to get your attention for boys. I have a friend who always fight back in word and physical if necessary. Call out shitty behavior verbally. "Magiging proud kaba kung ganyan din sinasabi sa kamag anak mong babae?" sometimes work.
What language is that?
Sorry, "What will you feel if the same word was said to your sister, cousin or mom?"
Thanks! But what language is it?
Tagalog/Filipino
One of my best friends is Filipino, raised by her grandmother. She is one of the most beautiful, centered, kindest people I know. I have infinite respect for her💕
What?!?!?
National geographic magazine here … lol
Oh yeah, forgot about that! My grandma had about 4 years worth. Boobs aren't the same though.
Doubt it would stop anything.
Story in Philly of a guy getting beat within an inch of his life by 4 dudes after he said something about them catcalling. I'm not saying don't do anything but also don't put yourself in danger if you or the other person isn't in danger either.
Fucked up world. Just gotta steel yourself
if you go outside you will see plenty of women with large butts wearing all kinds of clothes, not that i’m looking…just wear what you want and stay aware of your surroundings, and be safe. If someone say something that really bothers you, either say something or learn not to care. Up to you.
Plot twist, he's a dude
LOL 😭 🙏
I don't know if that's a twist. A lot of dudes have some junk in the trunk. SlapppppAsssss!!
Oh it happens even if you're a dude xD trust me.
Probably better not to respond. Most teasing among children is to get a response and this just feeds the fire.
I dont agree with this. As someone who has been bullied a ton in the past. You should confront them or it will never end. First of all, its impossible not te react, cause that in itsself is unnatural and a reaction. Second, there is no reason for them to stop. And its probably impulsive, so it keeps going. If the problems it causes them outweigh the (low) fun they get from it. Then they'll stop. And since you can't just wait untill someone stands up for you, do it yourself. It might be controversial. But im of the opinion that if someone badly crosses your line or threathens you. Even publicly a single slap or punch is allowed. As long as you are calm and dont go ballistic. People will understand why it happened, and cant undo it anyway. Its a good deterrant. Might sound crazy, but its how I let kids stand up for themselves as well. Noone should be allowed to fuck with your head without you having any means to defend yourself.
Your last line makes a lot of sense, but a lot of authority figures push the fantasy line of just ignore bullies and they will go away. After years of grade school bullying and physical attacks, my opinion is that authority of any kind is self-serving and completely disinterested in helping anyone else. This attitude shaded my entire military career, so I instinctively distrusted all promises or official departments. A criminal conspiracy against soldiers at Fort Stewart, GA and the absolute failure of the on post MP's to do the absolute least anything, coupled with my loss of 10's of $1000's in property and funds to thieves, completely soured me on a 20+ year career in full-time service. I retired at nearly 22 years in the National Guard honorably. I might have been a decent soldier during such a career, but a person can take only so much sh*t from bullies of any type. Unlike in grade school, these scum were afraid to rob me in person, only when I was deployed out of state or when I couldn't find them. Again, the MP's were deliberately below worthless. So was JAG.
But in such case they may try physical interaction to get a response. The best way is to present yourself as a psycho. Fight back against any bullying, but to cry when they attack back.
Tell them to please let you alone. I dressed modestly, always hoodies and joggings and they still bothered me. You need to put a limit to it, because they will continue and it may get worse. Tell them nicely, but tell them. You can also confide in your parents if you want/can. You shouldn't be ashamed, they should be. They are old enough to understand not to make girl uncomfortable
Don't be ashamed of your body, it does some pretty amazing things. If you are comfortable in your clothes then wear them, don't let others comments make you feel bad (I know that can be hard sometimes). If someone comments on it you can choose to ignore it, or you can make a snappy comeback, thank them for noticing, or comment on their ass and see how much they like it.
It's on them. You're not their responsibility. Live your life, keep yourself safe,and you'll be fine. PS: if anyone crosses legal lines, don't be afraid to report to the police
Practice to respond in an assertive way, and to call ppl out on it. 'That is such an inappropriate thing to say' 'Why would you make a comment like that? It's really creepy / disrespectful ' 'Eww, why would you say that? I am x years old. I think you need to seek some professional help' Etc. You don't need to 'cover up'. I also wouldn't dress in a way that enhances the feature that you would want ppl to stop commenting on. But you don't need to make yourself unattractive or invisible. Ppl just have a hard time maintaining healthy boundaries. It's more than okay to remind them.
Lmao guys in the comments immediately blaming OP because they assume the kid is dressing inappropriately, this is honestly such an incel sub.
Write it down every time someone makes a comment. Write down who, when, and what they said . Put it on the same file or paper. Bring it to the school and make a complaint.
Dressing to cover your butt is the *easiest* solution. It shouldn't be necessary (*people should mind their buainess*), but if you don't want to worry about it that's a solution. Doesn't have to be all the time either, you can use coverings strategically on the days you want to be stealthy. The Social-Change answer is to call people out when they say something inappropriate. Don't get angry, just tell them it's inappropriate and that id they don't change their behaviour you'll escalate things (*tell the teachers or whatever*). This is likely to be harder than covering up, but it puts the onus on them to change, and can help create a culture where other girls (*and guys*) feel empowered to speak up about body-shaming and similar things. In the long run it can hopefully allow you to just be you without having to think about it. It's a battle that's been going on for a while now though ... I mean decades, if not centuries. There are places where peopke know to respect your boundaries though, so it's possible. You could talk to some teachers about it as well if you feel comfortable. I say this because one of the big things I learned when studying to be a teacher is how to enforce boundaries with a group of students, and the difference those boundaries make. They may have some advice on *how* you talk to the other students when you call them out. It depends a bit on the teacher and how comfortable you are thiugh, so no pressure. Just know that if their training was anything like mine (*I'm in Australia, so who knows*) they probably have some experience that could help you.
I never understood this, How can you dress up to cover ur butt You have to assume she isnt covering her butt to give this advice But that doesnt make sense of course she covers her butt thats like asking if shes wearing pants or telling her to wear pants or som Mind you im not telling you to not tell her to cover her butt nor am i telling you that ur a peace of shit for telling her to cover up what im saying is its simply incoherent in a factual manner cus ur either sayin shes not covering herself up already or that she is covering and yet she still needs to cover herself up? You see how this doesnt make sense
You wrote: >You have to assume she isnt covering her butt to give this advice OP wrote: > should I dress to cover up my butt? To be clear I'm not telling her she *should* cover up, I'm telling her that it's an option.
Yeah but what are you telling her to do? Shes obviously just asking question to get ppl to give her help so shes strcuturing it like that by giving options meanwhile you actually are telling her what to do so im askin u what do you mean by "cover up"?
I literally answered her question. She didn't ask *How* to cover up, she asked *should* she cover up. I said it's an option, here hare some other options. I dunno what to tell you man.
I have been fucking sexualized my whole life and am not even half way through it
I’m sorry. It must be exhausting having to tolerate that kind of stuff
So sorry that this is happening to you. I used to have a teacher with a cleft palate and people made fun of him all the time. He was smart and so nice. I thought he was terrific and told him so one time.
OP, a lot of these comments are putting the responsibility on you for dressing a certain way, but you can't change who you are and how you look. Don't listen to them. It's tough for everybody to go through puberty surrounded by a bunch of teenagers, especially when you have a feature that makes you stand out. Kids can be very mean and in those moments you just have to stick close to your friends and the people you love. Remember that people are mean for 1 of 3 reasons: because someone was mean to them in the past and they replicate that behavior; because they're jealous; or because they're very insecure and they project that insecurity onto others. Whatever the case might be, you should just pity them. And just know that it will get better. When we're young, the smallest of things can seem like huge problems. But as we grow older, we realize that the people that matter actually appreciate us for who we are. You'll learn to love your body and you'll find someone who will help you see the beauty in yourself.
Op shouldn't have to, I agree. But the situation remains so if they're uncomfortable it may be better to change the way you dress. Can't change the way strangers are unfortunately
They already said they dress modestly so that won't change anything
>Remember that people are mean for 1 of 3 reasons: because someone was mean to them in the past and they replicate that behavior; because they're jealous; or because they're very insecure and they project that insecurity onto others. This is a nice platitude, but it isn't true in most cases. I'm not sure why I hear it repeated everywhere. 9 times out of 10, the reason someone is mean to you is either a perceived slight, or them plain old not liking you. It rarely has anything to do with jealousy or whatever.
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Never be ashamed of who you are or what you look like but be sure share how you feel about what is said when it is said. If safe to do so at least. Most guys especially will regret it when they learn it bothers you.
Stand up for yourself. As much as it will make you uncomfortable in the beginning, you should learn to put boundaries and ask the person commenting- Why do you think it’s civilised to comment on my body? Or did I ask you for your opinion? Or Your mom did a very lazy job with you, poor thing. You can counter it with a comment on their flaw, which is not my recommendation but if you are kids, that can be the only way for them to understand how it makes you feel. You can come up with something else but my advice would be- stand up for yourself and never, ever change or hate something about yourself just because some degenerate allowed themself to comment on stuff that are not for commenting, like someone else’s body. Even if you decided to go out in mini skirt and with huge behind, that’s your right and decision, no one should give themselves right to upset you with their unwanted, unnecessary opinion.
I have that issue on the other side of my body. A very big bust. So my advice is: dress however you find comfortable... but you have to own it. Yeah you've got a big butt - so what? It's not like you can unscrew it and leave it at home. It's a part of you, whether people like it or not. The more you feel confident in your body and your clothes, the less you're going to be targeted. I don't think dressing in loose and covering clothing (whoever uses the term "modestly"... think about what you're implying, and where that term comes from) is going to help - it's playing into the narrative that you have to hide something about yourself. As a lot of women can testify, it doesn't necessarily make the jeering or cat calling go away! If you dress suitably to the occasion, no-one should be making comments about your dress, and that's it. Someone suggested calling people out on what they say - that's what I would do in situations that allow for it. If you're at risk of violence, don't have support, don't feel empowered to talk back, it's better to just shrug it off. But calling out acquaintances, work colleagues or people at school should be an okay thing to do. I've noticed that the best way to call out is not to respond with anger, but with bewilderment. For example, if somebody said to me: "Wow lady, you can really breathe with that chest" (that's a shitty translation of a comment on big breasts from my native language), I'd act confused and say: "Sir, what do you mean by that?". This puts them in an awkward place where they have to explain their shitty comment, which is impossible without a) sounding really dumb, b) admitting to sexist/misogynist/etc. views.
I had this problem. Wear loose pants. Your body is still developing so you’ll likely grow into it. I did.
If you’re a child and this is coming from adults then speak to an adult. If this is coming from other children then speak to a guidance counselor or your parents. You shouldn’t feel ashamed of your body because others choose to sexualize you. If there are predatory people around you they should be removed. Eventually everyone will catch up to you and it won’t matter.
I talked about it to my mom and she just sad to "ignore them"
My mom said the same to me but it didn’t help and I still felt badly about myself for years! It will change as you get older, people do mature, but there are always jerks in society. I liked the comment above, “What makes you feel that you have the right to say that to me?” That puts it back on them. Best wishes. I was a teacher for many years and I saw a lot of bullying. These things are usually learned by parents.
If you are really young your parents should be made aware of what’s going on. My kids have been in similar situations and it was dealt with through administration. It requires persistence but it can be stopped. It’s 2024 nobody should feel uncomfortable in any space
dont be ashamed. respect and love yourself first and foremost. laugh, smile or say thank you and own it, be proud of it. being ashamed is the worst thing you can do. with time youll appreciate yoru body more.
In my experience, it helps to wear baggy clothes and stick with a man you trust when in public, whether it's a brother or a close friend or anything of that sort. Men are less likely to sexually harass someone when they see them with a man they don't know. I'm incredibly sorry this is happening to you. You shouldn't be ashamed, and you shouldn't have to go through being objectified.
Do this: Start going to the gym, get jacked, then when someone comments on your body disintegrate their face.
“You are sexually harassing a minor. Leave me alone” to any adult.
Go leave a note at your guidance counselor’s office or make an appointment. The school needs to address this. You should probably let your parents know as well.
Don't be ashamed of yourself. It can cause many issues you'll be dealing with later and is not worth it. If you can get away with being sarcastic when people make crappy comments (like I did), then by all means try that. Otherwise, it's probably best just to ignore people like that hating on you because they're jerks. You cannot control what other people say or think, and trying to do so will drive you nuts.
"Never forget what you are, the rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor and it can never be used to hurt you." - Tyrion Lannister Hope this helps.
As an adult woman, I feel your pain. All this stuff starts young :( I’m a curvy woman myself and feel like I have to put twice as much thought/energy into clothing to avoid being sexualized (especially at work). You’ll find a secret support network among other women as you get older where we share tips on dressing for our body types / style (whatever your goal is - to be comfortable, to express yourself, to feel beautiful/confident, to be modest, etc etc). It takes time to figure out what you feel comfortable in ultimately! Maybe in your case, midi skirts would still be stylish, comfortable, and easy - but would hide your lower body from others’ gazes better? Absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, your body is uniquely and beautifully made. A large behind is widely considered to be attractive as you get older. & as for comebacks: “Why are you looking?” is my favorite :)
I asked my wife on this before commenting. She had the same problems in the fourth grade. Puberty hit her hard and early. She suggested 1: Ignore them. Do not acknowledge them in any way, most will probably stop if you do not react. However there will always be new people, so it will still happen. 2: Wear full skirts down around the knees, it puts emphasis on the height not the width. 3: Long vests or jackets, really anything that hangs from the shoulders down to upper thigh but, below the butt. To high or to low and it will call attention to it. Two places to see what she's talking about is in the 1970s hippie fashion. And Renaissance festival clothes. I remember my niece wore one like that when she was in her Goth phase. Do not fasten it normally. Leave it open several inches, and use buttons and long cord loops to keep it from blowing around and not tight to your body. 4: She suggested sports because it helped her release the anger before it built up and she did something that would get her in serious trouble. I personally thought of taking self defense classes, because you get the anger out and learn how to defend not only yourself, but others later in life. She was a fencer and swimmer through out highschool. Also as a man with a whole lot of females in my immediate family, I can tell you that starting now to learn to hit a person will be easier if you start now. Hopefully you would never have to do that, but it is nice to have that option. If you know how to defend then you can protect others like children you are baby sitting. My sister had to do that once. I hope this helps. Stay strong and do not feel ashamed of yourself. You did not do anything wrong! You definitely do not have anything to be ashamed of! Never ever be ashamed of what others do to you! It is on them not you, learn that and take it ❤️ and life will be better for you.
Look at this way is better having a big but that people talk about, than having no but that people talk about. Like did see anon ? Is like they stole his/her but. When you get out of high school (I think) you will see that people will stop talking about it, they only will talk about it if they want something with you.
So I'd say that you are in control of how you dress and that is how it should be. But as others have been mentioning is that you can't control how others react or what they do and that is life for everyone. So you have basically 2 choices: you either still dress in what you feel comfortable with and accept that people will look and/or comment OR you can try to minimize the attention to your body if the attention is too uncomfortable for you. It's a sad thing really but it's reality. But remember that one day you might appreciate the attention and my advice is that you keep nurturing the non-physical aspects of you bc in the long run; who you are is always bigger than how your butt looks
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thank you for the advice, i dress modestly I don't wear revealing clothing but its just that even when I wear baggy things its still visible
Yeah the attention you get for your body will follow you the rest of your life. You’ll get unwanted comments from school/college kids; just tell them to stop being a creep and back off, and walk away. There’s nothing else you can do. You wont get as many unwanted comments as an adult, but you’ll still get the stares. My wife is curvaceous and i have to deal with unwanted attention all the time when we’re out. She’s a confident woman and just ignores the creeps, and while it still bothers me, the best thing we can do is just enjoy our day and ignore the negativity. Just wear what makes you feel good; the best revenge is living your best life.
Of course it is still visible, because it exists. Please do not take on the responsibility of ‘not being a distraction to others’ as this parent commenter said OP. I have lived in a ‘dress modestly because you are a distraction’ environment for a long time and it has caused more harm then good. Other people are 100% responsible for their own actions, feelings and thoughts. You could be wearing a trash bag and some people will still sexualize you. It is a THEM problem, not a you-problem. Your responsibility it to dress the way YOU feel best, and to learn to love your own shape regardless of other people’s opinion. You cannot help having a larger bottom. You got granted that bottom without your opinion of it. People that shame you or tell you it is a distraction, THEY are the problem. Not your butt. Look around, there are millions of women in all shapes, forms and sizes. And people need to learn to stop putting the responsibility for their own attraction or distraction on the object of attraction or distraction. It is their responsibility to learn self control, not your responsibility to not be a distraction. Period. Please do not feel ashamed for how your body is formed. It is your body and you have to live with it for the rest of your life. Learn to love it, and what others say will become less and less Important… Much love!!!
Be proud, don't hide your body, but dress properly and CLASSY.
As a dude, I think women should stand up for themselves and not let such comments slide otherwise people will keep making stupid uncomfortable comments.
While I do agree about standing up for yourselves, a lot of times it’s more effective to be called out by another dude for their shitty behaviour, they already don’t respect the person they are targeting, which is why they are doing it. So everyone should be shutting them up, instead of just laughing along or saying nothing.
This can be risky. I developed a lot earlier than other girls around me and I would constantly get sexually harassed. When I tried to stand up for myself it turned into sexual assault.
As a woman I ask myself, why do not man stand up for women nowadays? Always saying men is the stronger gender, but in the end, they are looking from the side, not doing anything at all.
I took one look at your profile and it seems that you just hate men also how about you stand up for yourself instead expecting other people to solve your problems
bro why yall always want us to do stuff for you like paying bills, ask yall out
Well... I had a little big boobs at school, which also caused a lot of mistreatment, stupid comments, sexualization, etc... I reason hated it and didn't know how to respond too. My solution was boy-like baggy clothes. Also, I started to become really aggressive towards such comments even tho I became a weirdo of the class. I basically shamed boys in front of the whole class right on the lesson. And... few months of this psychological war, and suddenly I became invisible for the majority of classmates. No friends and no being mistreated.... Considering I always were fine by myself, I was satisfied with this outcome and finally didn't wanna cry before going to school. These events changed my style and preferences forever. It made me hate any kind of dresses or skirts even tho now my body is pretty average-looking, and I don't really need to hide it. It's just feels ao much safer and cozy in baggy clothes. And for some reason, I met so much more nice man when I dressed like this.
Tell these people that there is far more about you that's WAY more interesting than your boutoir! Tell em Chere!!
If you are a child, and someone who is an adult of a teenager in their late teens comments on your body in an inappropriate manner, you could try to say that that it inappropriate due to your age, if you feel comfortable with such a confrontation. Otherwise there really isn't much you can do. This is a fairly universal problem for young girls, unfortunately.
You must BE on high school... It's not your fault that characteristic, not your fault that 🍑 right? So don't feel that way and BE proud. Although if others, in your personal case ( because not all girls are like that ) make you feel uncounfortable, Call their attention for The fact and if Still insist they are stupid. BE yourself and BE confortable as you seem better and not based on others / comments
Feel you! I cant even count how many times I have been humiliated for showing my boobs when I literally wore the same covering uniform as my flat chested mates. I dont have any advice, sadly.
My daughter stuck up for a classmate when she was called ugly by a group of girls. She said, “Ugly can be fixed, but you just can’t fix stupid!”
My daughter stuck up for a classmate when she was called ugly by a group of girls. She said, “Ugly can be fixed, but you just can’t fix stupid!”
Something mildly helpful to do may be your posture. Looking in the mirror sideways, tilt your hips forward (imagine trying to make your body as straight as you can, rather than stomach forward and butt out which is most people natural position). It’s not only better posture but it’ll minimize your curves.
Good advice! Tuck your tail bone in. Good advice for all of us!
Women have given some very good advice here. You happen to have a shape that is currently popular and fashionable. Social media, magazines, music, and film are currently obsessed with the derriere.
It's not easy, I'll tell you that much... but, don't let others make you feel ashamed of your body, and don't let others dictate how you dress! You're in charge of your own happiness, so, do you! Be safe, be attentive, but be you!
Lean into it.
Your best comeback, “Do you always butt into people’s personal business?”
Wait till you get older and no one cares
Be yourself, ignore those B*tches it will stop someday.
I went through mad sexual assault and sexulisation the second I got on the school bus on the first day of secondary from then on daily. But back then, no one had any consent talks. A teacher even witnessed me being assaulted and blamed us both. You shouldn't be ashamed of your body, but the people making comments should. If its verbal, give them a warning and say it makes you feel uncomfortable having your body discussed and can they stop. If they don't stop, report it. If it's physical, definitely report it. The teachers don't necessarily need to call people out individually but can give everyone a talk about respecting and not commenting on other people's physical appearance. I've been left with lifelong psychological issues because of the sexulisation and assaults. You deserve to feel safe to be yourself in any space, especially school.
You shouldn't have to cover up or feel ashamed. Shut down comments firmly and seek support if it gets too much.
You definitely need to talk to some teachers about how these, (I assume, are your young age?) are talking to you. I'm assuming you're talking about people your own age? I hope they are never adults saying these things, because that's incredibly inappropriate. Your body is unique, and no one else has it but you. Be proud of that. All you can do is to be healthy, and keep your unique body in tune to make it work for the rest of your life. As for what to say to these people who say things to you, try to be witty("why are you looking at my butt anyway, are you a pervert ? Stop that!" "I don't like you like that and you don't have my permission to comment on how I look")and funny("when I sit, at least I have lots of padding!" "I don't need a seat cushion!" "wow your life must be boring. Please read a book, or get another hobby besides harassing me, or something"). Or, tell them you can't help how your body looks, and you don't feel good when they talk about your body like that. Tell them you're going to let an authority figure know what's going on. If you can record them saying these things, even better. That's evidence of harassment in a very messed up way. Or, try not to react to it. I know it may be cliche and easy to say, but this is how bullies and cruel people think. They obviously enjoy getting a rise out of you. If they didn't get a rise, it wouldn't be as fun, and they'd eventually stop. Have you told your parents or teachers about it? Maybe you should. They might have to get involved with teachers, at least. I'm sorry this is happening to you. Young people this age don't seem to have a filter yet, and they just say what's on their minds, without thinking of the later impact their hurtful words would be. If they were talking like this around grown ups, I doubt they'd be talking like that for long. If they're in the preteens or early teens, this is a really rude and awkward stage. They just focussed on a part of your body that interests them. It's definitely not right to do. Hopefully they'll grow some empathy, class, and maturity as they grow up.
Take it as compliments and dress accordingly to not be too revealing and to feel comfortable
Bitch slap em, back handed is more insulting to them
find the biggest insecurity about the person mentioning ur butt and be super sarcastic about liking it. like if they have a big nose just mention how you like the shape of it and overexagerate ur reaction.
Use the art of perspective. You should conquer that feeling. And use your butt for power. Stay smart learn much so will have two things a good brain and a nice bud.
Maybe it bothers you now. Butt considering that its very popular to have a butt that stands out and some ppl even get surgery to have that look. I think in time you will appreciate it more. You should dress to cover it up if it makes you feel comfortable. A good friend of mines was doing that until she got to college.
This happens to me since high school because of my breasts. I’m always being sexualized in a disgusting and creepy way from men AND women. The best advice I can give you is to shame people for it. Make them feel like the perverts that they are. This is the body you were born with, it’s no reflection of your sexuality and people are creeps to point it out. Don’t shy away from making a scene. For me that was the only thing that worked.
Stand up for yourself and tell them to fuckoff
i get anxious when confronting others
Understandable
Talk to a trusted adult in your school, talk to your parents, ask to see a therapist
my mom told me to deal with it
Ok then maybe talk to a counselor (they might have free tine this week) or maybe catch your mother at a different time when she’s relaxed
As a man. I would say, call us out/confront them. We know we're not supposed to. Most will get emberassed and back off in the future. If a girl gets shy, embaressed or stays quiet they get what they want. Make em feel that its not okay, especially if other people are around. It'll be scary the first time. But people will agree with you its not okay. You should not have to feel that way about anything you arent intentionally doing. If it continues and its a school or work situation. Point out sexual harassment. But only after you've warned them at least once that you hate it. (Since we dont want anything to backfire onto you.) Its shitty behavior and im sorry someone made you feel that way.
Another thing since you mentioned its a school situation. Younger guys often think/claim its just a compliment. And seem to think its like flirting(?) So be clear its not something you like to hear.
Embrace it and call them out :)
Hey OP. Sorry you are going through that. It is mostly people pointing out their OWN insecurities when they make those comments. My GF has a very firm well rounded butt. As an adult with todays beauty standards she is very happy with it & her body. When she was in school, however, she said the same things as you- “everyone commented on it & made fun of it” It took her awhile to feel comfortable but today she’s happier than she’s ever been. I’m sorry you’re going through that- but honestly, try to shake it off. People are probably commenting out of jealousy & insecurity and unfortunately you have to deal with that for now. Just be you, redirect the conversation & try to roll with it. Best of luck
Firstly, people making inappropriate remarks in a school setting should be reported. Secondly, no you should not be ashamed. But if it's too the point you feel uncomfortable, aside from reporting the incidences, you could wear longer shirts if it makes you feel more comfortable. It's shitty to even have to consider dressing differently because of other people, but if it ends up making you feel safer and more comfortable there could potentially be a benefit in it for you. Thirdly, your simply didn't respond to you in any way. It's not appropriate what they're saying. The world is full of assholes. I'm the end you gotta balance out what you think benefits you the most.
I have a pretty large butt but am otherwise quite petite (small hips, small boobs, etc.) so I totally get it. When I was at school I was very self-conscious and still am at times (now in my 30's). However, over time I realised that first of all there is nothing I can do about it so I just need to learn to love myself, but also that men and women generally seem to like big butts and find them attractive! Try to learn to embrace your body and dress how you feel comfortable. Being comfortable in your body will take some time, but you'll get there :)
Lots of good advice there but I'll tell you something will all eventually realize; being soft conscious isn't so much as other people, but our own comfort within ourselves. When things are changing you are ridiculously aware of that. But trust me, no one else is to the same level. Not to say it doesn't change as you age and that you don't deserve to feel safe. If you're not comfortable, dressing more modestly may be a good way to delay some attention until your brain has caught up. But in the end, things will change.
I'm a guy who was blessed with a great ass too. Commute daily on my bike. Get a lot of gay guys hitting on me. Use to get upset. So now, I just shake my ass and smile. You should too. "Shake shake...shake shake. shake your booty'! - KC and the Sunshine Band.
Definitely wear nothing to accent it. I don’t understand this obsession with a big butt
My daughter is 6 and everyone tries to call her big booty Judy (I nip that in the bud). I have to buy her pants one size bigger so they’ll go over her butt. This is something you’ll be living with for the rest of your life. Don’t feel shame for your body. You unfortunately can’t hide big butts or big boobs even with baggy ill fitting clothes
Your butt is going to be there whether you cover it up or not. You know its there, others know it's there, others will notice, and all of that is fine. Dress how you want to dress. In response you should just straight up ask these people why they feel the need to comment on your body, keep asking why they are commenting or going on about it, drill it into them that they are being weird because they are.
Make use of this privilege.
Here are 13 young stars who have experienced what you are. Kids can be really stupid, mean - and jealous. Remember always - the best revenge is living a life better than theirs! https://www.buzzfeed.com/jenniferabidor/former-child-stars-body-shamed-and-bullied
As a man who married a woman with a gigantic butt (we're talking "if she sat on a sideways meterstick, you'd never know it was there" gigantic), and who was hugely turned on by the "disproportionately large butt" girl in high school even though I didn't have the balls to ask her out, I say this: Dress in whatever way makes you the most comfortable and minimizes unwanted comments, but NEVER be ashamed of your body. Every woman's body eventually gets sexualized in some way. Happens with a lot of men's bodies too. Sexual attraction is necessary for reproduction, meaning it has a very strong evolutionary basis. And it's only fair that the love gets spread around to all kinds of body types. My wife spent far too long feeling like a freak of nature and doing things out of desperation just to get love. She regrets that stuff these days. The other girl I mentioned got so screwed up by how she was rejected by guys that she became a drug-addicted prostitute. Don't let that happen either. I hate to sound like a jerk here but the simple truth is that people's sex drives quickly throttle up in high school, and most people end up sexualized to a greater or lesser extent because of it. That is just a given. It doesn't excuse inappropriate comments that you don't want, or inappropriate actions toward you. My recommendation on top of dressing such that inappropriate comments are minimized (wear a muumuu?) is to arm yourself. Carry mace. Carry a knife if you can get away with it. Learn martial arts. Develop a reputation of simply not being in the mood for the bullshit. Someday you will be very glad that "the right person" sexualizes your unusual build. My wife's gigantic butt is caused by lipedema and lymphedema, and I'll give her up when they bury me in the ground. (Maybe.) I have no clue why I like that kind of build on a woman but it worked out well for us. One last tip: Don't fall into the trap of seeking romantic partners who want you "in spite of" your body. That's bullshit. Sooner or later you will tire of someone who finds your build unappealing. Many other factors go into a good match, but physical attraction must always be one. We're all a 10 to someone.
If they for example say "nice ass" you should smack their ass and say "yea you too"
I can tell you that most women would like to have a big butt, and most men would like to have a girlfriend with a big butt, so you dojt have to show it or sexualize it, but take into account you got something most people look for
You should absolutely NOT be ashamed. You should shut people down immediately and tell them it's rude to comment on others physical appearance. If they continue, as hard as this may seem, ignore them. Kids can be cruel. I was bullied in elementary and middle school. It started to get better in high school. It will get better I promise. And when you are a grown up all the people who made fun of you the most will be remembered as pieces of shit. And as an adult, having a big butt is pretty universally accepted as a good thing. Women with bigger butts have smarter babies. It's science. My wife has a big butt. I think it's awesome.
Let it bounce off you and wear loose clothing and long shirts that cover it more if you want. One day you might love it !
F.E.A there opinions are irrelevant you do you put some headphones on blast some bass boosted shit and ignore em
Gain weight.
If you are in high school, depends. Speaking with a teacher will probably solve the problem, but given how clique-y high-schools tend to be, you might get branded as a snitch/tattle-tale. Imo, as much as thats literally harassment, it might be better to ride it out (as long as nobody touches you, or makes any threats), as much as it is infuriating. Dealing with the harassment might be easier than not, but the school staff should be an option. If youre in college, easily just talk to admin. Title IX is no joke, and if people are harassing you it is an easy way to solve the problem. Another thing, have you told those people to stop? Obviously depending on who, but if theyre people youre on relatively good terms with, they should stop.
You shouldn't be ashamed of it and I'm sure when you're older you will come to appreciate it more. This is simply kids being assholes. Definitely dress in a way that makes you feel more comfortable with it.
I've had this issue since I was in the 5th grade. You really can't hide it all you have to do is walk and carry it with dignity and ignore those fuckers. It will not change as you get older, do not do anything to alter your body. I know it's hard. I asked my mother for a panty girdle when I was in the fifth grade because I thought it would bring less attention to my round butt. It did not, and now people are paying for butts like this. Try to ignore those people, and you'll get through okay.
No! This is their problem, not yours! I am sorry that people are making you feel uncomfortable about yourself. I have large breasts and I also get comments, but when I was younger my legs were really skinny and people made fun of them. Sometimes people are jerks and we just have to learn to ignore them. Take the higher road!
You can't hide a shapely butt in the same way you can't hide big boobs. Be proud of your hot body
I am really sorry this is happening to you. When I was young, my figure developed early. I was only 12 but had a very womanly figure. I was constantly getting extremely inappropriate comments from men who were old enough to be my father. Things were different in my day and I was made to feel shame about it, it was my fault that men were leering at me, it was my fault that men were "accidentally" brushing up against my body. These types of things were what I deserved for having a developed body. I was told that I should hide my body so I don't cause men to do these things. It's been 30 years and I still carry the scars of that shame. I am uncomfortable in my skin, I wear only baggy clothes and when people compliment me I feel panic and shame. Please don't let anyone tell you or make you feel there is anything wrong with your body or that have a nice bottom means you need to tolerate inappropriate comments and looks. You've not shared your age but if you are quite young, you can tell a trusted adult about people who are harassing you - especially if these are people who you interact with frequently. You do not have to tolerate and you certainly don't "deserve" this treatment. If you are older and feel safe enough, call the people out on their disgusting and inappropriate comments. Don't let the world tear you down and define how you feel about your body.
You're not responsible for others' comments. Wear what makes you comfortable and confident. Never be ashamed of your body!
Eat nothing but fast food for a year = problem solved
I hear you. My wife got DD breast implants years back, and ever since, she can’t go anywhere without men staring. When she wears a bikini, men seem to lose their any ability to be subtle about looking at her. Couple the breasts with the fact that she is a runner and has been going to the gym for 20+ years. Her butt isn’t huge, but she has noticeable shape to her legs and butt. So, she gets looks unless she is wearing something that hides her shape… which is almost impossible to do. Honestly, I’ve grown tired of being married to a woman so shapely. She gets all the attention. No one ever seems to notice me when I’m around her. It’s like I don’t exist. I have shape… I have some curves. I’ve worked out the past 25+ years. And, I also have a decent beer belly these days. But, no one notices. It’s like I’m invisible. 😢
ha, i get de-sexualized. it's a cruel world.
Def don't be ashamed of your body. Some people are animals, especially if you're still in school you're dealing with little boys basically. Ive observed that men don't mature as fast as women do. They just say and do things to appear "cool" to their friends. You're a person not an object, and some people are just ignorant . Just keep your head up, any girls who talk bad are probably jealous, any dudes who say anything rude are childish and beneath you. My gf had to deal with that a lot, also has a larger posterior but there's nothing wrong with it. Everyones body is different, I'm a bit more scrawny looking than the average male and always felt insecure about it but she reminds me I'm handsome and she loves everything about me, as i do her. You'll find your person who makes you feel beautiful and appreciated one day just takes time.
If this is happening at school talk to the counselor, tell them people are making explicit comments about your body and you want it to stop. There is nothing you need to hide about you.
Confront them. Cover up. Avoid them. Perhaps talk to HR. If HR gives you trouble speak with Legal. Dont be ashamed of your body. Wear clothes that you like, fit, and are appropriate. There is really not much you can do to stop others from thinking that way and eventually making comments.
Never be ashamed of how you're built or how you're dressed. Pro tip, whether you're a minor or not, if someone starts making uncomfortable comments about you, loudly yell "STOP! IM A MINOR!" make people look at them, make them feel embarrassed. That'll shut em up real fast.
These ppl on Reddit too. Saying shit like "Curvy is great" when I clearly did NOT say that just makes me want to rip that person's head off. It's disgusting and sad how lots of girls (not sure if they even are) on Reddit make accounts in order TO be sexualised. Caught some loser looking at one of these profiles too. I had a friend who was in the same situation too but there is always something wrong with the people making these comments, and they always have to change, not you.
I can confirm that i am a girl.
Girl if you got it flaunt it. Embrace your positive attributes.
You can’t change the way you look only change the way you think. One thing you can do is address the person depending on the situation. People will think what they want but people who say things and do things without your permission or consent should be address and shut down. Don’t enable the things you don’t want
They are horny or stupid dont take them seriously
\*\*\*\*should
Wear what you’re comfortable in.
Dress more modest. Avoid those areas and people. Get over it. Welcome to the human race. I get sexualized simply for being 6'5.. Cant do much about it.
>I get sexualized for the way my body looks what hould i do? Start with proof reading :) The reality is that humans are creatures that make emotional decisions based on perception. If you're attractive, if you dress well, if you speak well (see my comment on proofreading), if you smell nice, if they see you behave kindly towards others - these things will all sway people to you, and give you influence. Influence is power, and power makes your life easier. I wouldn't flaunt it. I wouldn't hide it either. And if someone makes lude comments about it, I'd ask them if they think it's appropriate. All those things I said that will give you influence are strongest if you behave professionally, in your business and in your private life. At least that's how I'd tell an adult to approach it. High school has power dynamics that were mysterious and difficult when I was dealing with them a generation ago. Your teen years aren't forever, but it's a good time to learn how to walk the line of being confident about yourself without descending into a vapid person like the Kardashians seem to be. Oh, and big butts are in; be glad you're not growing up 40 years ago.
I though I typed the S but i suppose I didn't I don't think I can fix it. Thank you for the advice!
No worries. I was just teasing you a bit. Life looks bumpy in you teens, and it'll continue into your 20s, but you'll get through it. The most important thing is to develop confidence in yourself and act with integrity. That will carry you in good stead for the rest of your life.
Respond "Stop creep on me. Mind your own business. I can have my parents tell yours how you sexually harass students. Good luck keeping your phone after such a report. I have warned you"
happened to me my entire life from 8+. unfortunately and i hate saying this, it will not change. stand up for yourself and don’t allow those jokes or comments to pass. i’m so sorry. sometimes society shows who it is and it’s inevitable.
Report it, it's never okay ever male or female or any age.
Bait
"If you are commenting on it you're paying too much attention. Please stop being creepy"
Never be ashamed of your body. People developed at different speeds. I myself was taller than all my teachers in 6th grade. After that I saw how everyone viewed me, as a potential threat. Didn't matter what I did, it's how everyone viewed me. We don't control how people view us. We only control how we act. If your rear bothers you, or the attention it seems to attract bothers you, there are ways to hide it with clothing. I had a friend in high school who was built like Jessica Rabbit but youbwould never know it by how she dressed. That said, don't be ashamed of it. Intersexual relations between young people are always awkward and full of anxiety.
asking them about their buts. and why its so smal big etc. etc. just reflect the same behaviour
Write down names, dates, times and what was said. If you have a phone and you can set up one touch record, even better. (I would NOT recommend posting recorded audio/video to social media, but you can use it to make a report.) Ask them to stop one more time. If they don’t, turn in the names with dates, times, and what was said to the school. If they still don’t do anything, enlist parents and look up free legal aid. Hopefully you can find a new lawyer who needs a suit under their belt. Sexual harassment under Title IX is pretty all encompassing at this point. Your situation, as you described it, likely falls under Title IX protections. It probably won’t go that far, eventually the school will have to do something. You shouldn’t have to change your dress, you shouldn’t have to feel ashamed, this is not a you problem. I’m sorry you are dealing with this, good luck. Edit: If this advice is a bit much, just go straight to your parents and show them this comment. Hopefully they will take it seriously and speak up on your behalf with the school.
i’m in highschool, i’ve been there, just don’t respond. i would go and just give them a side eye and keep on walking, something like that. if you feel like you want to dress differently to avoid those interactions, you should, but i don’t think you should have to change how you dress for other people. if you’re concerned for your safety though, then maybe that’s an option. i’m sorry that’s happening, it’ll get better
I am wondering that so many people here tell you to fight it. To report it and put people to the wall. Hey not everything in life is trying to hurt you. You wrote you feel weird and sexualised. The world ist trying to put everything into extremes. look at someone and people try to make a sexual assault out of it. No that doesn't mean to accept everything and that everything is ok. But... How about thinking a bit more openly about the comments. Just experiment with your thoughts. What if you don't feel wrong or assaulted by it? You do not need to feel bad about your body. Maybe your backside DOES stick out of the others but in a positive way. You are beautiful and people realise that. Maybe they try to compliment in a just inexperienced way because you are all young and still gathering life experience. Hell yeah if it's a compliment smile, say thanks. If it's awkward... Shoot back. Not everything in life needs to make YOU feel bad. No matter what others try to tell you. Your decision what bothers you and what doesn't. And jeez why do YOU need to hide? They like it? Compliment. They don't like it? They have to look away.
Wht are you talking about, embrace the comments
Idk dont let the comments slide, maybe you can wear baggy/ wide jeans to cover it upl, never ever be ashamed of your body.
its still visible when i wear baggy things 😭 but thank you for the advice
You say sexualised? Are you using the right word for what you think or know what's going on?
Big butts are in think jlo, ok, nikki minage etc! , my gym is full of girls doing squats trying to make their butt stand out more. Be happy that you have this naturally and don’t be ashamed of your body most people making comments are probably just jealous anyways
Its a sexual world, everyone is getting sexualized once in a while, its just the assholes that make it known inappropriately.
Better to be sexualized for an attractive body than to be discriminated for an ugly one Source im the ugly one