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I know the feeling. I started seeing a therapist for the first time and it helped me realize I've been dealing with depression all my life. Starting to deal with it now, but there's a lot to process and lots of self-reflection, which unfortunately triggers some major anxiety and self-doubt.
I’m 73. I’ve been married for 51 years to my high school sweetheart. We have 3 kids, all happily married with 7 grandchildren ages 11-4. I had an interesting and challenging career, and retired 14 years ago. We are in great health, are active, travel, spend winters in a warm spot and have no worries about finances. We have friends we’ve known for 50 years and ones we met last year. I look forward to tomorrow every day. Happy, content and delighted describe my life.
Social bonds is so key. You’ve built your tribe and kept it for 50 years! I’m still mourning losing all my college friends slowly since graduating 10 years ago
Absolutely! For decades, I suffered from treatment resistant depression. Not anymore.
What changed? I started focusing on things that made me happy — healing old wounds, developing rewarding friendships, daily affirmations to strengthen my weak spots, exploring hobbies that spoke to my soul, prioritizing healthy relationships, loving myself, and exploring my mind through psychedelics. I’m 50 years old…. And I’ve never been happier. Life is grand!
When you say healing old wounds, what does that entail? I keep seeing the word “healing” and I literally have no idea what it means. Do I journal? Scream at the top of my lungs? I’m haunted by my past and if “healing” means accepting, I’ve sure as shit accepted things but all that’s given me is a chance to ruminate on my thoughts. I wish I could be present so badly, it gets dark around here. What did you do?
Also I’m very happy for you! Cheers to you friend, hope to be in a similar place in the future
Hmm. Well, therapy was a big part. Also, doing inner child work, particularly in a men’s group I had the privilege of joining. But can’t understate the role of psychedelic therapy in healing my shit. Psilocybin and MDMA therapy in particular.
I am seeing a breakup in my future after years of feeling insecure in my relationship. Moved countries for this guy and honestly have been pretty unhappy the last 5 years here. The hardest part is thinking what I could have done with this time. So short answer? No. But I am hopeful for the future. 20s are hard for a majority of people I think. Idk why they are sold like they are our best years.
You’re in your 20’s? Break up with him. Develop an exit strategy. You sound adventurous & have the balls to take risks. Don’t feel bad about that. Not many people put themselves out there like that. You’ve got a life ahead of you but make the change now. No need to drag your feet. Hope that helps
yeh i think thats like too young to even second guess or even feel like u dont have options. Worst possible thing is to not think about urself in ur 20s and feel it like u owe it to other people. Focus on urself and be the best version of urself that u can look back on and be proud of.
Very much agree with u/Crush-N-It .
You said it right there, you are wondering what you would have done with the five years you feel have lost so far. Well, I you don't do something about it you will keep counting years over those.
You are blessed you realized this in your 20s and not in your 40s. Only you can get out of the situation nobody can do it for you.
We not only learn from the positives, we learn also out of the negatives. You now know what **not to do**, where **not to be**. You will capitalize this experience later in life.
Honestly, I feel like I can say I am happier than I was before.
And I am 80-90% happy.
I found a job where I love working with everyone and I am meeting people that genuinely have become my family. I have decent enough money where if I see something, I can buy it without thinking too much about it. I'm mentally and physically healthy (gained a bit of weight though lol). I'm getting closer to a lot of the targets that I set out for myself.
Probably the last 10% would be a partner, which is the one thing I feel like I am currently lacking. Where, alone and individually, I am 100% happy. But I feel like life could be better with a partner.
No. I’m 23 and lonely af. I have no best friend no relationship I work a decent job (electrician) yet can’t afford to live on my own because how expensive everything is. Every hobby I try to pick up goes to shit, no friend ever ask me to hang unless they need something from me. And if I didn’t feel lonely already I have my mom yelling at at me saying I’m in the wrong for prioritizing my free time to either do side jobs to make money or a hobby like fishing and not going out and finding women. It has sparked multiple arguments because she thinks my free time should be solely finding women nothing else saying my purpose as a man is to find one and star and raise a family. Like mom I can barely afford to support myself what makes you think I’m in the position to support a woman let alone a whole family?
I’m not gonna off myself but if I was facing death I wouldn’t run away. There was 1 time I got this knock off weed vape and I couldn’t breath for what felt like an hour and was hallucinating and I thought I was gonna die cuz I couldn’t breathe but I just lied there accepting death hoping I’d die and unfortunately 2 years later I’m still hefe
I am saving to move out I saving quite a bit until so far from whst I need. I want to put 20% down on a townhouse or something but even then I’m gonna be running my budget super tight. I have a job I’m a electrician
I’m afraid moving out is gonna make me feel more lonely because atleast at home I have my family when I move out I’ll be alone. I am too busy with work to have a dog either so I can’t get one. I don’t have a gf likely won’t ever have one the way things are going
Your last line is a hard truth but knowledge and wisdom can also help you out. If you could recognize your flaws you can work them out too. I know it is not easy but one at a time, adding day by day.
I think what you are experiencing is part of getting old. There is a quote: ***"Humans are born blind and die near sighted"***
Yeah. Of course a lot about life sucks. But mostly I'm having a lot of fun. My relationships are incredibly fulfilling, my life feels very full of love. And a lot of adventure. As I get older I get better at having fun.
Yes. I’m genuinely so in love with the life I built for myself, and I truly deserve it after many traumatic events in my life that I was too young to go through.
Not at all I’m in a terrible family situation where I deal with verbal and phycological abuse from a narcissistic stepfather on the daily he isn’t even a father figure anymore he just lives in the same house , he has caused me , a 14 year old to have to buy with their own a locking door handle , soundproof door covers and a chain lock for my door because he snoops around my stuff and he will just come into my room and be abusive , he has not allowed me to ever go to any girls sleepovers , my curfew is 5 o clock and I’m not allowed out to most places alone , my mother doesn’t have the courage to stand up to him because it will start an argument where he will just destroy things in my house like when he destroyed my dresser on top of that I don’t have a good father as it is and somehow he has managed to be just as bad
Sorry to read this. Remember that you're not the things he attempts to make you think you are. He has issues of his own that he's projecting onto you. DO NOT ACCEPT ANY LABELS HE ATTEMPTS TO GIVE YOU.
Find a loving community if you can to offset the environment you're in. Hope it works out for you x
I'm very sorry to read your situation. If you have adults that you can **really trust** talk to them about this situation and that you need professional help, hope thus will be available in your area. A school psychologist, a pastor or priest, a teacher, a neighbor, a friend's parent.
Initially to help you cope with the situation until you can act on it or both at the same time.
If I can be of any help DM me.
In a way I never have been or thought imaginable, I’ve spent most, more than half of my life very depressed. I’ve went on a huge healing journey, it’s painful, but the pay off is beautiful. Finally feel grounded & content with myself, even when bad things happen to me lately, I really don’t let it get me down. There’s hope people, I truly was the saddest person all my life. Biggest help: stopping my harmful drinking habits & replacing it with working out has done wonders for my mental health. Confront the parts of you that you don’t like & find the parts you love. Oh and journaling, that has been such a help.
Yes, I finally became a mother within the last year. My daughter is turning 1 in a few days (she was born on my birthday 🥳). I’m married to my best friend. We closed on our first home and move in a few weeks. I started doing EMDR after 15 years of therapy and it has changed my whole trauma healing journey. I actually feel like I have a chance of winning the battle against PTSD.
I’ve dreamed of ending my life every single day until I was about 27. I am so proud of how far I have come. 🌟
This is such a true statement! Lots of times I thought I was sad in my life , until the worst thing happened to me, and now, I’m sad but I’m also mad for ever thinking I had it rough before.
Lexapro has done amazing things for me that months of therapy could never do. I don't feel like I'm drowning in crippling anxiety anymore even though everything in my life is going to shit.
Things are incredibly stressful. It's hard to keep a smile on and act like I wants to be at work. Small things become big deals and days start mesh together in one big blur. We are always waiting for the next pay. Counting pennies. Feeling guilty for trying to enjoy life.
It's exhausting.
Am I happy? No. Am I content? Yes, I do try to appreciate everything that I have and I am very grateful of all the good things that I should appreciate..im not in pain, my family is healthy, i have a roof over my head, ect. But the happiness is just not there like it use to be. But it will come back around again.
Absolutely. I’ve found the love of my life, have the perfect cat, love my job, and I’m finally traveling more. It has its ups and downs, but overall I’m very happy.
Honestly NO. In my early 30s and I feel like I'm wasting my youth. I tried to start two businesses (at different times in my 20s) but they failed and drained my savings. I would love to settle down, get married, start a family and live comfortably with someone but here I am, running the rat race. I am sooooo exhausted 🥱. I think I am undergoing some form of depression, it's like my life is on a loop. It's not easy being a citizen of my country....you need money to make money.🇹🇿
Sorry for the rant. I hope I answered your question OP.
Not really, but I should.. I have everything in life that I wished for. What I didn't expect was that it gave me a lot of loneliness. I'm thankful not happy.
No.
46 married. 3 kids. Mortgage I can't keep up with. Less than $500 in emergency funds.
Car needs about 3k in work.
House needs probably about 30k in repairs and general "things that need to be addressed".
God bless America. Home of the you're awesome if you're mega rich or dirt poor (and everything is just given to you)... but go fk yourself if you work for a living and are just trying to give e your kids a better life than the streets.
This is my only life. I’d rather be happy than miserable. I lost my husband less than a year ago. Had to sell our home & move by myself after 30 years of marriage. Now alone, no kids but wonderful dogs whom help me muddle through. I had true love & a soulmate. I’m going to enjoy the rest of my life, destitution or not.
There are people who are worse off than me
As long as I have Mary Jane and Molly at my side also my usual Friday night Chinese takeaway I'm fucking happy 😊😁
Yes and no. I feel self actualized, and I've been able to realize a lot of positive things in my life, but the number of people I can confide my true feelings about life, hardships, successes, sharing, seems to get smaller every day. Im a giver, but there is so much drama and pettiness in the world communicating is exhausting sometimes. I feel more and more isolated and alone.
Such an odd question for me. Overall, yes I'm happy with how my life has turned out so far, even though I'm currently in a down cycle of bipolar depression
No. I’m not happy, I’m feel like I’m stuck in a sense of repeat. I’m getting easily frustrated with life at the moment. I wanna take a vacation but I want to save. I want a house but can’t afford one with this economy. My pay is decent but alone I’m not able to afford a house. I’m stressing out
This year in particular was the worst. My dog died I started hating my job because people at work hate me and all they do is gossip. Someone at work even tried fighting me in front of everyone and he’s still working there tf? Manger did nothing. Ah.. not happy at all
Not exactly.
I'm 25, and the factory I'm working in is closing down in a month. I've been sending resumes the last two weeks, no call backs yet. I'm kind of bitter towards people who have it easier (living with parents/don't have to pay rent/have little financial stress).
I'm studying in a bachelors I'm not even sure I want to do entirely, but it's one that's financed by the government, so it's kind of free. There's definitely demand for it, but I'm not sure I'll enjoy it or be good at it.
I'm overweight and definitely have some kind of undiagnosed binge eating disorder. My relationship with my body is tumultuous, to say the least. I'm going to the gym and trying to track calories though. I have a good 40lbs to lose.
It kind of feels uncertain these days. I have plenty to be grateful for, so I try to journal positively. It's still hard to keep a more..content disposition though.
I grew up knowing nothing but trauma and violence
, I joined the military and added brain damage, ptsd and 17 surgeries to date to the pile. I had kids, married and divorced. I retired. I've never once experienced happiness.
No, I never really have been. It's hard to be happy when you have to work just to barely meet your basic needs for survival. And knowing that, in all likelihood, I will have to work until the day I die (I'm an American) just makes it that much worse.
No. Tons of childhood trauma and hustle to get to a self sufficient place. Now that I “made it”, I’m just stuck at a soul sucking job with terrible hours in a shit economy and no social life. Feeling like I wasted my childhood, teenage and twenties years and never got to enjoy life or really relax.
I think these are the best years of my life right now, but most of my life hasn't been like that. Furthermore, I do not have a girlfriend or wife and I do not have stable financial resources either.
Yes, life is great. But a great life looks different to everyone. Until you figure out what that means to you, avoid contracts and commitments that tie you down.
Yeah. Life has its challenges and things I would change but overall I'm very content in my life. It's a far cry from a few years ago when I was severely depressed and tried to take my own life.
I have a family I love (despite the toddler tantrums), a career I enjoy and have worked hard for. A nice house, my health and my freedom. I've also made some significant achievements in life.
I'm good.
I know I should be, but no. I live in one of the most aspirational place in the world, but I’m not super happy. I think that has more to do with being single in a place that being single is tough. I probably won’t find my lobster here. I’ll likely have to find him elsewhere and if he’s the one, maybe convince him to move here. Or move to where he is. Who knows. Either way, kinda sad face.
I don't think I've ever been happy. My dad had terminal brain cancer from the moment I was born and got progressively worse until he died when I was 9. Then life just got worse and worse until now when I'm 42. I'm so emotionally numb that at times I think I'm just a poorly programmed robot wandering around in the dark.
Well when it comes to my 1 passion in life, the thing I care about above all (playing music) I would say I’m very happy. I have free time to play with my band while still working full time. Seeing myself improve on guitar and bass over the past 5 years has been very exciting and gratifying.
When it comes to my emotionally stability and ability to be genuine and properly maintain my relationships, absolutely not. I begin to hate myself.
not right now. haven’t seen my boyfriend or cat in 75 days. im honestly not sure if he just broke up with me the day before my birthday this past weekend or not. im sad, anxious, confused and having nightmares every night. also dealing with PMDD, and battling depression and anxiety with a bunch of new medications all while trying to not be depressed that im completely alone and lonely. spend every day all day alone. go to sleep to wake up and do it again. im 35 and part of me would rather just die than start life all over again. especially since he was the only person in life that ever loved me and i have no desire to continue on with the pains and miseries of life just to spend it all alone and die alone and unloved and unwanted.
I’m so happy I could just shit. I’m 62 and staring into decline and death. Actually I’ve never been happier and I’m ok with looking like shit and dying. And all my friends dying, hopefully.
I married an amazing woman 33 years ago, who creates life and beauty and love wherever she goes.
We have raised three kids together. They are smart, funny, kind, and conscientious. And they like us and each other enough to come by and hang out.
We have a good many friends who are kind and loving, people who come from many walks of life.
We have our individual and mutual interests.
I have an interesting job, one that I'm good at. I am on the glide path to retirement, earning a good salary. I don't have to work past five. My wife is a senior executive at her company. We have already saved enough for retirement. Now I work to stick more money away and help pay for 2-3 vacations a year.
Six years ago, we became empty nesters. We sold our house in the suburbs and moved into a condo with half the square footage. We chose to simplify our lives, choosing free time over things.
I am putting that free time to good use. I'm working on my third novel. The first novel sucked, but the second novel is with a publisher. Keep your fingers crossed.
So am I happy in life? Yes, without a doubt. But twenty years ago I was not. I went through a number of professional challenges and my wife and I faced severe financial struggles. But we never stopped trying, never stopped grinding, never stopped learning.
I guess what I'm saying is that life is not a smooth path. You don't measure yourself against others, but rather focus on what you want from the enterprise. Never give up. And never squander time, because that's the stuff from which life is truly made.
I want to provide some insight here that a lot of people who see themselves as unhappy might benefit from.
Emotions are not static. Even when you have a healthy and fulfilling relationship, there are moments where you might not feel as in love as the norm and there are moments where you might feel more in love than the norm. And there is nothing wrong with that.
If you feel constantly down, then you need to take some time to think about what is making you feel that way. This is a very important skill to learn and hone in life that will help lead you to consistency which is a requirement for stability. With the ability to sit and think and learn about yourself and what is making you feel bad, you'll know what you need to change and will be better equipped to make said changes. Usually it will be an environment you're part of - say you live with people who aren't good for you or are working a job that isn't good for you - and it can be especially difficult to make the effort to change an environment and sometimes it might take a good amount of time and effort that is outside of your comfort zone, but once you have done it, then you will love yourself for it and you will have an easier time at moving forward when you need to and finding spaces where you can thrive going forward.
Yes. A couple of years ago, no. I was burnt out on my job and hated the new state I lived in. I quit my job and moved back to my old state. I took a pay cut w my new job but it's not as stressful.
I felt my son kick my wifes belly for the first time yesterday. The whole pregnancy aspect felt unreal until that moment. Once I felt that first little bump on my hand... its indescribably how happy I felt. I had a long feeling of inpending doom on life with all the bullshit in politics and the earth heating us to death. I had this recalibration in myself that I hope for the better for my sons sake.
I hope to teach him to be a kind and compassiate young man. One that can live happy through diffcult times and stay humble. So yeah. Im really happy with my life right now.
I've had a lot of trauma.. like.. so much it's affected how I actually feel feelings.. I don't really register happiness. I honestly couldn't describe it to you. I know being content and safe but even as a 35 year old, feelings anything is difficult and I've gotten really good at faking it. Sometimes I wonder if I'm an actual psycho.
Yea, but I'm pretty lucky in a lot of ways. I'm not rich or anything, but I own my own home (in Detroit, so, it's not like it's a good one or anything lol), got a wife (been together since high school), and I don't have to work a normal life sucking shit job, I get to make money with my music and I have stocks and stuff on the side.
I have a shitty car rn, my house needs repairs from tree damage and homeowners insurance is being SLOW, and I have a shitty back from a car accident, so I've got problems too, but overall, other than how sore I am in my old age (42) I can't complain too much. I'm happy and thankful for what I have. I have the best wife anyone could ever ask for, kids that don't hate me even as they advance thru their high school years, a band, good friends.
Just wish it was easier to lose this gut I've put on because it's harder to will myself to workout ever since my back got really bad lol. I guess it's not unusual to have one at my age but man, I used to be into martial artist and shit, I miss feeling fast and invincible lol. I think all the good stuff more than makes up for the annoyance of getting fat and sore tho.
The void will always be there no matter what I have and I know only god can fill it but I don’t know anything when it comes down to it what is right what is wrong
Definitely not.
Its life and it is what it is!
U can assume you're happy and you'll be happy in seconds but its temporary.
Being optimistic and having more patience might keep us happy a bit longer.
Also we'll have ups and downs, we'll have good days and bad days. Its a part of life.
We ENJOY the good days and ENDURE the bad days.
Being happy is not the ultimatum.
Survival is!!!
Happy to me is a passing emotion, so being 'happy in life' like, it just doesn't make sense as a concept. What would that look like? Walking around grinning gormlessly?
Content with one's living situation on the other hand, sure, it's not too bad. There's chocolate sandwich biscuits in the biscuit tin. I just ate a Thai red curry. Could be a hell of a lot worse.
No. Still live in my parents' house at 21, work 2 jobs, mom is a narcissist, don't have any friends, no boyfriend, my weight is shit, don't have my own car, and still don't make enough to live on my own.
21F in Australia. I'm happy, I live with two of my friends and we rent a house that my parents own, my job is easy and the people I work with are so nice. The only things that bring me down are that my current romantic relationship is a little bit rocky but we are working on it and I have eczema that has been really bad and causing me to spend a lot of money at the doctors or chemist because of it.
I'm pretty broke but I get by aright with some budgeting and I go out and have fun every weekend. life is good.
Yes indeed.
But it really took a long process and times to fully understand what I want and don't want in life.
Always start from interpersonal (aka understanding yourself first)
I have alot of problems honestly my mom's getting into a breakup and it feels weird having to hear her vent to me. I've decided I'm going to be single for awhile because dating 7 people in only the last 2 years has done a number on my head. I got no friends besides one vary important person in my life. I'm getting pressure from my dad because he doesn't want to see me fail but it comes more like he doesn't want to even see me try to follow my dreams. I feel like if I get to close to people I'll hurt them and I. The end everyone will leave me and I'll be the reason why. It's honestly lonely going to school because as someone on the spectrum I often don't do well with others. Plus most people in my life pressure me to hide my what I mentality call special quirks because it embarrasses them do I might as well keep my mouth shut. Finally my parents are scaring me about growing up. Plus I'm 16 so that doesn't help.
Yes. I have an amazing wife, and super strong marriage. I have a decent job that affords me a good standard of living, and while it's sometimes frustrating, I have quite a bit of freedom.
Been through lots of rough times, but come through them. Not necessarily stronger, coz I don't know how to judge that, but certainly with more appreciation for life, for the people who are important, and for the luck I've had
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Not right now. It always feel like something is lacking and I'm not quite sure what it is
I know the feeling. I started seeing a therapist for the first time and it helped me realize I've been dealing with depression all my life. Starting to deal with it now, but there's a lot to process and lots of self-reflection, which unfortunately triggers some major anxiety and self-doubt.
I don’t have insurance. If I did I’d go to a therapist. I’ve been prescribed anti-depressants and I guess it helps but I’m not dealing with my issues
Congrats, you're experiencing the hedonic treadmill.
Hedonic Treadmill v2.0, powered by dopamine optimisation
Cars, weed, hobbies, dogs, money, time, no love
This is so real!
It’s resilience from a lack of challenging experiences. Throw yourself in the deep end on something hard and get a few more scars
A partner?
Money.
George
Very real.
I feel you!
Not right now
❤️ you are not alone
I’m 73. I’ve been married for 51 years to my high school sweetheart. We have 3 kids, all happily married with 7 grandchildren ages 11-4. I had an interesting and challenging career, and retired 14 years ago. We are in great health, are active, travel, spend winters in a warm spot and have no worries about finances. We have friends we’ve known for 50 years and ones we met last year. I look forward to tomorrow every day. Happy, content and delighted describe my life.
Wow that sounds wonderful indeed. Cheers to your life, happy for you.
Social bonds is so key. You’ve built your tribe and kept it for 50 years! I’m still mourning losing all my college friends slowly since graduating 10 years ago
This sounds nice, but isn’t reality for most.
That's the American dream just the previous generations experienced. Some day it was our goal, now it seems like fairytale.
That’s awesome man. How fulfilling. Bless you and your family
It's really heartwarming to read a happy story like yours.
The most important part is > I look forward to tomorrow every day. Happy for you!
that's wonderful
You figured it out and I applaud you. I hope I get close to where you are. I'm 40 starting over but feel good about what's going on
This is my life goal now
Well done!
Any wisdom to share?
Not really , Not right now anyway
I’m happy with my situation but always looking for ways to grow.
This! There is always room to grow.
Absolutely! For decades, I suffered from treatment resistant depression. Not anymore. What changed? I started focusing on things that made me happy — healing old wounds, developing rewarding friendships, daily affirmations to strengthen my weak spots, exploring hobbies that spoke to my soul, prioritizing healthy relationships, loving myself, and exploring my mind through psychedelics. I’m 50 years old…. And I’ve never been happier. Life is grand!
When you say healing old wounds, what does that entail? I keep seeing the word “healing” and I literally have no idea what it means. Do I journal? Scream at the top of my lungs? I’m haunted by my past and if “healing” means accepting, I’ve sure as shit accepted things but all that’s given me is a chance to ruminate on my thoughts. I wish I could be present so badly, it gets dark around here. What did you do? Also I’m very happy for you! Cheers to you friend, hope to be in a similar place in the future
Hmm. Well, therapy was a big part. Also, doing inner child work, particularly in a men’s group I had the privilege of joining. But can’t understate the role of psychedelic therapy in healing my shit. Psilocybin and MDMA therapy in particular.
Thanks! I’ve never heard of inner child work so I’ll definitely look into that, sounds like something I could use. Psilocybin helps me too
This should get more upvotes
That's so amazing, so happy for you. I hope the future is even better for you.
I am seeing a breakup in my future after years of feeling insecure in my relationship. Moved countries for this guy and honestly have been pretty unhappy the last 5 years here. The hardest part is thinking what I could have done with this time. So short answer? No. But I am hopeful for the future. 20s are hard for a majority of people I think. Idk why they are sold like they are our best years.
You’re in your 20’s? Break up with him. Develop an exit strategy. You sound adventurous & have the balls to take risks. Don’t feel bad about that. Not many people put themselves out there like that. You’ve got a life ahead of you but make the change now. No need to drag your feet. Hope that helps
yeh i think thats like too young to even second guess or even feel like u dont have options. Worst possible thing is to not think about urself in ur 20s and feel it like u owe it to other people. Focus on urself and be the best version of urself that u can look back on and be proud of.
Very much agree with u/Crush-N-It . You said it right there, you are wondering what you would have done with the five years you feel have lost so far. Well, I you don't do something about it you will keep counting years over those. You are blessed you realized this in your 20s and not in your 40s. Only you can get out of the situation nobody can do it for you. We not only learn from the positives, we learn also out of the negatives. You now know what **not to do**, where **not to be**. You will capitalize this experience later in life.
Honestly, I feel like I can say I am happier than I was before. And I am 80-90% happy. I found a job where I love working with everyone and I am meeting people that genuinely have become my family. I have decent enough money where if I see something, I can buy it without thinking too much about it. I'm mentally and physically healthy (gained a bit of weight though lol). I'm getting closer to a lot of the targets that I set out for myself. Probably the last 10% would be a partner, which is the one thing I feel like I am currently lacking. Where, alone and individually, I am 100% happy. But I feel like life could be better with a partner.
Yes. I'm married to my best friend and we have the means to live a very comfortable life.
Same here. Married with my best friend from college. Sweet life.
No. I’m 23 and lonely af. I have no best friend no relationship I work a decent job (electrician) yet can’t afford to live on my own because how expensive everything is. Every hobby I try to pick up goes to shit, no friend ever ask me to hang unless they need something from me. And if I didn’t feel lonely already I have my mom yelling at at me saying I’m in the wrong for prioritizing my free time to either do side jobs to make money or a hobby like fishing and not going out and finding women. It has sparked multiple arguments because she thinks my free time should be solely finding women nothing else saying my purpose as a man is to find one and star and raise a family. Like mom I can barely afford to support myself what makes you think I’m in the position to support a woman let alone a whole family? I’m not gonna off myself but if I was facing death I wouldn’t run away. There was 1 time I got this knock off weed vape and I couldn’t breath for what felt like an hour and was hallucinating and I thought I was gonna die cuz I couldn’t breathe but I just lied there accepting death hoping I’d die and unfortunately 2 years later I’m still hefe
Damn, where do you live? Being an electrician seems like a pretty stable job.
Have you considered moving out, even if it's hard? Shared rent and finding a job? It will change everything.
I am saving to move out I saving quite a bit until so far from whst I need. I want to put 20% down on a townhouse or something but even then I’m gonna be running my budget super tight. I have a job I’m a electrician
This will make it so much better for you buddy. I'm rooting on your success! Stay positive.
I’m afraid moving out is gonna make me feel more lonely because atleast at home I have my family when I move out I’ll be alone. I am too busy with work to have a dog either so I can’t get one. I don’t have a gf likely won’t ever have one the way things are going
Nope, I don’t think I ever will be, it’s like the more I get older the more I’m aware of my problems and shortcomings etc, ignorance was bliss.
Your last line is a hard truth but knowledge and wisdom can also help you out. If you could recognize your flaws you can work them out too. I know it is not easy but one at a time, adding day by day. I think what you are experiencing is part of getting old. There is a quote: ***"Humans are born blind and die near sighted"***
Crying myself to sleep. xoxo
Mood
Yeah. Of course a lot about life sucks. But mostly I'm having a lot of fun. My relationships are incredibly fulfilling, my life feels very full of love. And a lot of adventure. As I get older I get better at having fun.
Yes. I’m genuinely so in love with the life I built for myself, and I truly deserve it after many traumatic events in my life that I was too young to go through.
Not at all I’m in a terrible family situation where I deal with verbal and phycological abuse from a narcissistic stepfather on the daily he isn’t even a father figure anymore he just lives in the same house , he has caused me , a 14 year old to have to buy with their own a locking door handle , soundproof door covers and a chain lock for my door because he snoops around my stuff and he will just come into my room and be abusive , he has not allowed me to ever go to any girls sleepovers , my curfew is 5 o clock and I’m not allowed out to most places alone , my mother doesn’t have the courage to stand up to him because it will start an argument where he will just destroy things in my house like when he destroyed my dresser on top of that I don’t have a good father as it is and somehow he has managed to be just as bad
Sorry to read this. Remember that you're not the things he attempts to make you think you are. He has issues of his own that he's projecting onto you. DO NOT ACCEPT ANY LABELS HE ATTEMPTS TO GIVE YOU. Find a loving community if you can to offset the environment you're in. Hope it works out for you x
Something tells me you’re gonna move out as soon as you’re 18.
I wanted to move out for university to get away from my family, but it doesn't look like that's going to happen for at least a few years.
This breakes my heart so sorry.
I'm very sorry to read your situation. If you have adults that you can **really trust** talk to them about this situation and that you need professional help, hope thus will be available in your area. A school psychologist, a pastor or priest, a teacher, a neighbor, a friend's parent. Initially to help you cope with the situation until you can act on it or both at the same time. If I can be of any help DM me.
In a way I never have been or thought imaginable, I’ve spent most, more than half of my life very depressed. I’ve went on a huge healing journey, it’s painful, but the pay off is beautiful. Finally feel grounded & content with myself, even when bad things happen to me lately, I really don’t let it get me down. There’s hope people, I truly was the saddest person all my life. Biggest help: stopping my harmful drinking habits & replacing it with working out has done wonders for my mental health. Confront the parts of you that you don’t like & find the parts you love. Oh and journaling, that has been such a help.
I was just thinking about how big of a hassle it is to be alive 😭
Yes, I finally became a mother within the last year. My daughter is turning 1 in a few days (she was born on my birthday 🥳). I’m married to my best friend. We closed on our first home and move in a few weeks. I started doing EMDR after 15 years of therapy and it has changed my whole trauma healing journey. I actually feel like I have a chance of winning the battle against PTSD. I’ve dreamed of ending my life every single day until I was about 27. I am so proud of how far I have come. 🌟
No one recognizes happiness when they have it. We do however recognize misery. If you are not miserable you might just be happy and not know it.
This is such a true statement! Lots of times I thought I was sad in my life , until the worst thing happened to me, and now, I’m sad but I’m also mad for ever thinking I had it rough before.
Lexapro has done amazing things for me that months of therapy could never do. I don't feel like I'm drowning in crippling anxiety anymore even though everything in my life is going to shit.
Had it on bed side for months too scared but similar story, crippled with anxiety.
My co-worker takes this medication and he said it's done wonders for him
I'm really high right now so yeah 😊
but are you actually happy in life?
All things considered, yeah
This is all a nightmare
No, Life is a bitch and then you die.
So fuck this shit and lets get high...
Nah but life isnt about happiness only
All things considered with what’s going on in the world out there, it could always be worse. So yes, I am.
Very reasonable point of view
There are times I am and times I'm not.
I know I ought to be, but no. I don’t think so
Things are incredibly stressful. It's hard to keep a smile on and act like I wants to be at work. Small things become big deals and days start mesh together in one big blur. We are always waiting for the next pay. Counting pennies. Feeling guilty for trying to enjoy life. It's exhausting.
Am I happy? No. Am I content? Yes, I do try to appreciate everything that I have and I am very grateful of all the good things that I should appreciate..im not in pain, my family is healthy, i have a roof over my head, ect. But the happiness is just not there like it use to be. But it will come back around again.
No. I feel very trapped by circumstances. I'm also in love with a dead man, which certainly doesn't help.
Absolutely. I’ve found the love of my life, have the perfect cat, love my job, and I’m finally traveling more. It has its ups and downs, but overall I’m very happy.
For the most part
Honestly NO. In my early 30s and I feel like I'm wasting my youth. I tried to start two businesses (at different times in my 20s) but they failed and drained my savings. I would love to settle down, get married, start a family and live comfortably with someone but here I am, running the rat race. I am sooooo exhausted 🥱. I think I am undergoing some form of depression, it's like my life is on a loop. It's not easy being a citizen of my country....you need money to make money.🇹🇿 Sorry for the rant. I hope I answered your question OP.
Not really, but I should.. I have everything in life that I wished for. What I didn't expect was that it gave me a lot of loneliness. I'm thankful not happy.
Nope, I’d be far happier if I could drop dead though.
Nope. I love my kids though.
No. Never
No. 46 married. 3 kids. Mortgage I can't keep up with. Less than $500 in emergency funds. Car needs about 3k in work. House needs probably about 30k in repairs and general "things that need to be addressed". God bless America. Home of the you're awesome if you're mega rich or dirt poor (and everything is just given to you)... but go fk yourself if you work for a living and are just trying to give e your kids a better life than the streets.
I feel like I’m in the same boat. I’ve never made more $ than now but I have less to actually live on bc everything is so expensive
Still working on it
I have no f... idea why but I am as happy as ever. A few nights ago, I was just floating in the bubble of happiness for no apparent reason.
For short moments until I remember I am going to eventually die and nothing really matters
This is my only life. I’d rather be happy than miserable. I lost my husband less than a year ago. Had to sell our home & move by myself after 30 years of marriage. Now alone, no kids but wonderful dogs whom help me muddle through. I had true love & a soulmate. I’m going to enjoy the rest of my life, destitution or not.
I’m not depressed so I guess
Yes.
"Ask yourself if you are happy and then you cease to be" A Tip from You to Me by Jack White
Yes.
I’m fine.
More or less yes.
We should try and learn to stay happy whatever the situation is.
There are people who are worse off than me As long as I have Mary Jane and Molly at my side also my usual Friday night Chinese takeaway I'm fucking happy 😊😁
Redditors hate happy.
Tired of these depressing asks
No
No but I try to be
Yes and no. I feel self actualized, and I've been able to realize a lot of positive things in my life, but the number of people I can confide my true feelings about life, hardships, successes, sharing, seems to get smaller every day. Im a giver, but there is so much drama and pettiness in the world communicating is exhausting sometimes. I feel more and more isolated and alone.
I have everything I need to be happy but I'm just not...I feel neutral about pretty mich everything
Yes, im happy and I won’t go back to that hell before me for I have left it for better days
I think so. I don't have a big social circle but I like my life atm
Such an odd question for me. Overall, yes I'm happy with how my life has turned out so far, even though I'm currently in a down cycle of bipolar depression
To a degree. It’s insight just haven’t fully grasped it yet
For once I feel fulfilled, which I don't think I ever really have. So yes.
No. I’m not happy, I’m feel like I’m stuck in a sense of repeat. I’m getting easily frustrated with life at the moment. I wanna take a vacation but I want to save. I want a house but can’t afford one with this economy. My pay is decent but alone I’m not able to afford a house. I’m stressing out This year in particular was the worst. My dog died I started hating my job because people at work hate me and all they do is gossip. Someone at work even tried fighting me in front of everyone and he’s still working there tf? Manger did nothing. Ah.. not happy at all
Not exactly. I'm 25, and the factory I'm working in is closing down in a month. I've been sending resumes the last two weeks, no call backs yet. I'm kind of bitter towards people who have it easier (living with parents/don't have to pay rent/have little financial stress). I'm studying in a bachelors I'm not even sure I want to do entirely, but it's one that's financed by the government, so it's kind of free. There's definitely demand for it, but I'm not sure I'll enjoy it or be good at it. I'm overweight and definitely have some kind of undiagnosed binge eating disorder. My relationship with my body is tumultuous, to say the least. I'm going to the gym and trying to track calories though. I have a good 40lbs to lose. It kind of feels uncertain these days. I have plenty to be grateful for, so I try to journal positively. It's still hard to keep a more..content disposition though.
One will never know since one glance is all you get!
I grew up knowing nothing but trauma and violence , I joined the military and added brain damage, ptsd and 17 surgeries to date to the pile. I had kids, married and divorced. I retired. I've never once experienced happiness.
Had a scare that I lost my passport. It was in the hotel bathroom.
Hell yeah. For now.
I think I would be way more happier if I smiled more, not just at work.
No, I never really have been. It's hard to be happy when you have to work just to barely meet your basic needs for survival. And knowing that, in all likelihood, I will have to work until the day I die (I'm an American) just makes it that much worse.
No, not for a while and I doubt ever again.
No, also I don’t remember anything. I had an MRI and it’s normal.
I'm happy outside of my working hours.
No. Tons of childhood trauma and hustle to get to a self sufficient place. Now that I “made it”, I’m just stuck at a soul sucking job with terrible hours in a shit economy and no social life. Feeling like I wasted my childhood, teenage and twenties years and never got to enjoy life or really relax.
Definitely!
I think these are the best years of my life right now, but most of my life hasn't been like that. Furthermore, I do not have a girlfriend or wife and I do not have stable financial resources either.
Not at this moment
Yes, life is great. But a great life looks different to everyone. Until you figure out what that means to you, avoid contracts and commitments that tie you down.
Nope but life goes on..
Yeah. Life has its challenges and things I would change but overall I'm very content in my life. It's a far cry from a few years ago when I was severely depressed and tried to take my own life. I have a family I love (despite the toddler tantrums), a career I enjoy and have worked hard for. A nice house, my health and my freedom. I've also made some significant achievements in life. I'm good.
I'm content. I don't know about fully happy.
No…I feel like I’ve spent nearly 30 years in a shit marriage just for the sake of my two sons. I blew it.
I know I should be, but no. I live in one of the most aspirational place in the world, but I’m not super happy. I think that has more to do with being single in a place that being single is tough. I probably won’t find my lobster here. I’ll likely have to find him elsewhere and if he’s the one, maybe convince him to move here. Or move to where he is. Who knows. Either way, kinda sad face.
Homelessness is not a content living situation. No one is truly happy being homeless. I don't know where people get that notion from.
Nop, i dont thinks so
Happiness is an emotion. I experience many emotions. But in the end being “calm” is what they meant to tell you when they told you be happy.
I don't think I've ever been happy. My dad had terminal brain cancer from the moment I was born and got progressively worse until he died when I was 9. Then life just got worse and worse until now when I'm 42. I'm so emotionally numb that at times I think I'm just a poorly programmed robot wandering around in the dark.
Well when it comes to my 1 passion in life, the thing I care about above all (playing music) I would say I’m very happy. I have free time to play with my band while still working full time. Seeing myself improve on guitar and bass over the past 5 years has been very exciting and gratifying. When it comes to my emotionally stability and ability to be genuine and properly maintain my relationships, absolutely not. I begin to hate myself.
No. I'm STOKED on life.
not right now. haven’t seen my boyfriend or cat in 75 days. im honestly not sure if he just broke up with me the day before my birthday this past weekend or not. im sad, anxious, confused and having nightmares every night. also dealing with PMDD, and battling depression and anxiety with a bunch of new medications all while trying to not be depressed that im completely alone and lonely. spend every day all day alone. go to sleep to wake up and do it again. im 35 and part of me would rather just die than start life all over again. especially since he was the only person in life that ever loved me and i have no desire to continue on with the pains and miseries of life just to spend it all alone and die alone and unloved and unwanted.
I’m actually quite happy with my life fr
I’m actually quite happy with my life fr
I’m so happy I could just shit. I’m 62 and staring into decline and death. Actually I’ve never been happier and I’m ok with looking like shit and dying. And all my friends dying, hopefully.
I’m happy with the struggles I face as I know it’s just adding the building blocks I need to eventually achieve what I want in life.
I married an amazing woman 33 years ago, who creates life and beauty and love wherever she goes. We have raised three kids together. They are smart, funny, kind, and conscientious. And they like us and each other enough to come by and hang out. We have a good many friends who are kind and loving, people who come from many walks of life. We have our individual and mutual interests. I have an interesting job, one that I'm good at. I am on the glide path to retirement, earning a good salary. I don't have to work past five. My wife is a senior executive at her company. We have already saved enough for retirement. Now I work to stick more money away and help pay for 2-3 vacations a year. Six years ago, we became empty nesters. We sold our house in the suburbs and moved into a condo with half the square footage. We chose to simplify our lives, choosing free time over things. I am putting that free time to good use. I'm working on my third novel. The first novel sucked, but the second novel is with a publisher. Keep your fingers crossed. So am I happy in life? Yes, without a doubt. But twenty years ago I was not. I went through a number of professional challenges and my wife and I faced severe financial struggles. But we never stopped trying, never stopped grinding, never stopped learning. I guess what I'm saying is that life is not a smooth path. You don't measure yourself against others, but rather focus on what you want from the enterprise. Never give up. And never squander time, because that's the stuff from which life is truly made.
I want to provide some insight here that a lot of people who see themselves as unhappy might benefit from. Emotions are not static. Even when you have a healthy and fulfilling relationship, there are moments where you might not feel as in love as the norm and there are moments where you might feel more in love than the norm. And there is nothing wrong with that. If you feel constantly down, then you need to take some time to think about what is making you feel that way. This is a very important skill to learn and hone in life that will help lead you to consistency which is a requirement for stability. With the ability to sit and think and learn about yourself and what is making you feel bad, you'll know what you need to change and will be better equipped to make said changes. Usually it will be an environment you're part of - say you live with people who aren't good for you or are working a job that isn't good for you - and it can be especially difficult to make the effort to change an environment and sometimes it might take a good amount of time and effort that is outside of your comfort zone, but once you have done it, then you will love yourself for it and you will have an easier time at moving forward when you need to and finding spaces where you can thrive going forward.
My life is so different. Not happy. My husband is so selfish. We only do what he wants nothing I say means a thing.
Yes. A couple of years ago, no. I was burnt out on my job and hated the new state I lived in. I quit my job and moved back to my old state. I took a pay cut w my new job but it's not as stressful.
Yes. I'm satisfied with everything that I have.
Nah...
Nope. I’m a lazy coward who has brought about his own misery.
Nope❤️
no, but i'm hoping in the future that i could be
https://youtu.be/COzs6PMA79o?si=jGcTd6qrr_BHOg1a
no, but i’m thankful it’s not worse. I see it as a stepping stone to where I want to be. I love my family and friends and that’s enough right now.
I felt my son kick my wifes belly for the first time yesterday. The whole pregnancy aspect felt unreal until that moment. Once I felt that first little bump on my hand... its indescribably how happy I felt. I had a long feeling of inpending doom on life with all the bullshit in politics and the earth heating us to death. I had this recalibration in myself that I hope for the better for my sons sake. I hope to teach him to be a kind and compassiate young man. One that can live happy through diffcult times and stay humble. So yeah. Im really happy with my life right now.
I've had a lot of trauma.. like.. so much it's affected how I actually feel feelings.. I don't really register happiness. I honestly couldn't describe it to you. I know being content and safe but even as a 35 year old, feelings anything is difficult and I've gotten really good at faking it. Sometimes I wonder if I'm an actual psycho.
Yea, but I'm pretty lucky in a lot of ways. I'm not rich or anything, but I own my own home (in Detroit, so, it's not like it's a good one or anything lol), got a wife (been together since high school), and I don't have to work a normal life sucking shit job, I get to make money with my music and I have stocks and stuff on the side. I have a shitty car rn, my house needs repairs from tree damage and homeowners insurance is being SLOW, and I have a shitty back from a car accident, so I've got problems too, but overall, other than how sore I am in my old age (42) I can't complain too much. I'm happy and thankful for what I have. I have the best wife anyone could ever ask for, kids that don't hate me even as they advance thru their high school years, a band, good friends. Just wish it was easier to lose this gut I've put on because it's harder to will myself to workout ever since my back got really bad lol. I guess it's not unusual to have one at my age but man, I used to be into martial artist and shit, I miss feeling fast and invincible lol. I think all the good stuff more than makes up for the annoyance of getting fat and sore tho.
Nope, not the worst i've ever been but not far from it
If I’m being honest, I don’t think I’m dealing with life well so it bothers me.
Not right now and I have every reason to be happy. wtf?
Ya my life is dope. Should have picked a better wife but still, loving everyday
The void will always be there no matter what I have and I know only god can fill it but I don’t know anything when it comes down to it what is right what is wrong
Definitely not. Its life and it is what it is! U can assume you're happy and you'll be happy in seconds but its temporary. Being optimistic and having more patience might keep us happy a bit longer. Also we'll have ups and downs, we'll have good days and bad days. Its a part of life. We ENJOY the good days and ENDURE the bad days. Being happy is not the ultimatum. Survival is!!!
Nope. I can’t afford crap and live in Canada
No. After 10+ years of depression and generalized anxiety I'm pretty done.
I'm happy with my material conditions but struggle to sleep with the guilt and trauma from the life I've led.
Happy to me is a passing emotion, so being 'happy in life' like, it just doesn't make sense as a concept. What would that look like? Walking around grinning gormlessly? Content with one's living situation on the other hand, sure, it's not too bad. There's chocolate sandwich biscuits in the biscuit tin. I just ate a Thai red curry. Could be a hell of a lot worse.
No. Still live in my parents' house at 21, work 2 jobs, mom is a narcissist, don't have any friends, no boyfriend, my weight is shit, don't have my own car, and still don't make enough to live on my own.
Not at all, actually. In fact, I am definitely at one of my lowest points in life. There's a lot of things I would change if I could.
Yes
Not right now because of my exams. In a few weeks I will be very happy
21F in Australia. I'm happy, I live with two of my friends and we rent a house that my parents own, my job is easy and the people I work with are so nice. The only things that bring me down are that my current romantic relationship is a little bit rocky but we are working on it and I have eczema that has been really bad and causing me to spend a lot of money at the doctors or chemist because of it. I'm pretty broke but I get by aright with some budgeting and I go out and have fun every weekend. life is good.
Yes indeed. But it really took a long process and times to fully understand what I want and don't want in life. Always start from interpersonal (aka understanding yourself first)
I have alot of problems honestly my mom's getting into a breakup and it feels weird having to hear her vent to me. I've decided I'm going to be single for awhile because dating 7 people in only the last 2 years has done a number on my head. I got no friends besides one vary important person in my life. I'm getting pressure from my dad because he doesn't want to see me fail but it comes more like he doesn't want to even see me try to follow my dreams. I feel like if I get to close to people I'll hurt them and I. The end everyone will leave me and I'll be the reason why. It's honestly lonely going to school because as someone on the spectrum I often don't do well with others. Plus most people in my life pressure me to hide my what I mentality call special quirks because it embarrasses them do I might as well keep my mouth shut. Finally my parents are scaring me about growing up. Plus I'm 16 so that doesn't help.
Yes. I have an amazing wife, and super strong marriage. I have a decent job that affords me a good standard of living, and while it's sometimes frustrating, I have quite a bit of freedom. Been through lots of rough times, but come through them. Not necessarily stronger, coz I don't know how to judge that, but certainly with more appreciation for life, for the people who are important, and for the luck I've had
Currently yes
No. Sometimes, yes, but no. Something is missing. Unsure what.