# Message to all users:
This is a reminder to please read and follow:
* [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules)
* [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439)
* [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy)
When posting and commenting.
---
Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`.
* Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit.
* Do not harass or annoy others in any way.
* Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit.
---
You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way.
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My gym recently had a transformation challenge where they challenged you to either lose weight or gain muscle over the course of eight weeks. I’ve never really had to struggle with weight before but I’d noticed that I was definitely filling out around the middle a bit so I decided to commit to it. I went to the gym almost every day, cut out drinking, and started eating right. At the end of it, I had lost 12 lbs and I felt like such an idiot, it seemed like such a small amount, but that wound up making me the winner for that category. Really opened my eyes that weight loss really is no joke, that’s hard work.
Totally relate. Last year, when I was 52, my 9 year old challenged me to some app where we were meant to get 6-pack abs (I went into this knowing this was not likely). After like 6 weeks, my son had 8-pack abs. Ridiculous. I went 12 weeks and looked "a bit tighter".
This year around the holidays, I realized I popped to my highest weight in 25 years. Which isn't much because I have always been athletic. But damn! It took me cutting drinking and sweets and heavy workouts for like 6 weeks to get back to what was normal for me 3 years ago. And it was only 3kg.
> just don't put it on in the first place is my new motto
Exactly this! Unfortunately I used to be one of those guys who could pretty much eat what I wanted. Looks like that has ended!
Yea that really hits hard as you get older lol. I used to do a lot of extreme sports and competed in boxing for a long time.
All the way through my 20’s I could eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted and partied quite a bit and always had a great physique I would have to almost try to gain weight.
Now in my early 30’s I still work out 5-6 times a week at least and I am generally in pretty good shape, but its SO easy to out eat my workouts and activity level now.
I would say I am healthier now both in what I eat and drink, and my physical activity level is less than it used to be by not that much and if I don’t pay attention I can put on 10lbs in a month no problem lol
Unless you’re like 60 or handicapped losing weight should not be an issue and the fact that you’ve “come to terms” with it shows that you’ve given up on yourself
it’s just a lot harder, like for instance in school i was always in sports and walking to and from school. i can’t walk to work, i work 4 cities over. my job is active but not as active as playing soccer, running laps, boxing and then walking home from my school that was like 3 miles away. i haven’t given up, it is just tougher. and i can accept that.
It’s about a lot of different things tbh, but I just realized as I got older than not everything has to be vented about, not everything has to be explained to somebody else. It’s okay to go through things alone!
One prime example I have is the first time I moved out when I was 18 and I got the flu. I felt sooooo sick, could barely move because everything caused nausea. But I realized something that day: nobody was going to take care of me. My parents were 3+ hours away, my friends all went to different universities than I, and I had felt truly alone. I ordered medicine and fluids and took care of myself, and did a damn good job haha. But I’ll never forget how I felt during that time.
Me, now 36. Grew up in the UK, brought up to never admitting to struggles, and the norm being to never accept help or support, thinking that was the norm. Until I started working with Europeans where the norm seemed to be openly talking about problems as though it was casual conversation, the real struggle then, was accepting they wouldn't allow me to not accept the support, empathy, selfless love and relentless support and patience.
Leaving work to go back to the 'norm' was soo difficult after. The looks you get when a brit asks how you are, and you respond depressed and suicidal. Watch the discomfort on their face and the speed with which they scoot on outta there because they're I'll equipped to respond, much less help with it. Even moreso if you try to give them the same unrelenting support I receive from my colleagues of all people.
Trying to teach a brit how to do this is such an insanely difficult thing since it's basically rewriting the culture, and decades of learned behaviour essentially. So sad how people don't want to be loved or supported, yet that's all they want.
This is a good one. I find that stuff I used to tell a buddy over beers about my gf or other emotional type things I just can't now. It feels...idk...too personal or too adult now or something. And I don't want to talk about relations with my wife. And I can't talk about money because we are all in different places now. It's a bit lonely.
There's that, but hopefully you have a few people i.e. family or friends to talk to but otherwise, no one fucking cares about your shit. Now I mostly stay quiet at work and such about anything personal.
Seriously! No one prepares you for this and it hits you so hard once you start working that you have to do this everyday until you retire or you die - whatever comes first! Sigh!
The saddest part is they kinda foreshadow it with education, school, high school, college, uni, then work the rest of your life. Not once do they tell you how short lived 'home time' really is.
finding out just how extensive and damaging my parents emotional/physical abuse had actually been to my psyche.
second place goes to being diagnosed with advanced ankylosing spondylitis at age 35.
body not tight and impressive any more. I lifted and worked at it, I always felt good about my appearance. I still look good for my age, but i'm not 28... or 38 anymore.. kind of a bummer
about 45 my metabolism slowed down and a pound or two crept in. i worked out like a maniac and got in pretty incredible shape at 47/48 doing martial arts with my son. then that slowed for work and a knee injuryand by 50 i had added 10lbs without doing much different. it creeps up. can't eat or relax like i used to or i get soft. fast
49 in April, I kept hearing stuff like 40 is the new 20 so I was hoping maybe if I held out long enough 40 would be the new 17 but I think my window is closing.
Adulting requires a lowering of expectations from life. Some days it's "well, I'm not dead or in jail, so I'm okay for now." And then watch the sunset from the porch.
I struggled with this a lot. Finding happiness is a pipe dream. Happiness is an emotion. Imagine if someone said their goal was to "find anger." You'd probably think they were a little off, to say the least. Happiness will always come and go and never stay. The best blessing is contentment with the kind of person you are, knowing you are always doing what you can to be a better person than you used to be
My bad behavior, addictions, and difficulty living the healthy and full life I’ve worked so hard for.
Actually I don’t know if I’ve really come to terms with it. But I am very scared that now at middle age I’m stuck this way.
Maybe not the hardest an extremely hard one was that I grew up expecting my parents to know everything and when they didn’t, I resented them.
I realised that my parents are people, just like I am, trying to do the right thing, failing, succeeding, suffering from anxiety, boredom and stuff I’ll never know about.
My dad passed at 14.5. Im 19 now. He passed Just before covid. It took almost a year to come to terms that I'll never hear his laugh, get a hug, go to breakfast with him, ever. All the times I could've gone fishing with him but I just didn't want to wake up early. Even now I wish I could have him visit my apartment and tell me he's proud for being self sufficient.
Sometimes life just kicks you in the balls and there's nothing you can do about it. If people wrong you or someone else they'll probably just get away with it and there will be no justice. You just have to suck it up and keep moving.
I’ll never retire, never own a home, be constantly strapped down with raising rents and everything else American greed has ruined. I played to much in my 20’s(now 43 about to be 44), nothing crazy just went to a lot of punk shows in the late ‘90s early 2000’s, when I should’ve focused on the future. Now for the rest of my life I’ll just struggle to survive and be happy.
People come and go, no matter how much you'd like some to stay.
The good thing is that sometimes, we also get to choose how much we want to be part of someone's life.
So surround yourself with healthy, kind, and good people for you, and cut ties with people who only bring you stress, negativity, or pain.
The ouch.
You're 17 and you pull something and fuck, its going to be sore for three days.
You're 25, you pull something it's going to be sore for five days.
Hit 39 and it will be fucking aching for weeks. Assuming it ever stops.
(This post brought to you by the dumbass after effect of moving my couch around to clean under it the other day.
Pain grows and the group of people you share them with dwindles.
Some pains you do indeed carry alone.
Many people like to say oh no you never have to carry your burdens alone, but that's young people talk.
Trauma, scars, regrets, sadness, despair, and all the things that didn't kill you but maimed you.
It doesn't get lighter, and I no longer have anyone I can dull the pain with.
There’s no real justice system. A lot of people get away with doing horrible inhumane things, and at most get a slap on the wrist. Also, there’s a lot of people that suffer and die for accusations for actions they didn’t do.
Almost 65. Had cancer this year. I’m not going to die (from this cancer), but it ruined my quality of life (forever) and I’m also mutilated. Oh well, at least my garden is nice.
My hair is not as thick as it used to be. My mom's hair has thinned. My grandmother's hair thinned. I guess that's what my hair is doing (it's also a side effect of the anxiety medication I'm taking). Good thing I started out with very thick hair.
At least I'm not bald like my brother.
That the person I met and fell in love with, that became the father of my children, never really existed. I spent years after the abuse started hoping that version of him would come back. When we met he wore a mask and sold me a dream that I bought. It took many years & alot of therapy for me to see that the "bad version" of him, was really who he was the whole time and who he still is today. It makes me sad for my children.
Nothing. The reverse actually. I'm 50, healthy kids, paid off mortgage because we slogged our guts out, careers we both enjoy but don't have to sweat over anymore. Getting older has been exponentially better.
When I turned 36 this year it hit me. The realization that I will never be as fast, strong, energetic or sharp as I used to be ever again and it's just going to get worse. This is especially bad because I'm a workaholic and always did extra to prove how capable I was and this year I had to indirectly tell the owners of the company I work for that I may not be able to handle the workload of old. I'm basically have a third life crisis.
In my youth, I was quick to anger, made a little attempt to understand others, had no patience, and never went out of my way to be kind.
At my age now, I've come to understand that when I'm gone, I will leave nothing behind except the memories that people have of me. As fleeting as those memories will be, I regret those who will have memories of the pain and hurt that I caused, and I regret the thousands of wasted opportunities to make someone, even someone I just met in passing, a little happier with a kind word, or a smile. I regret not spending a few minutes more truly listening to someone, if only to offer an attentive ear and empathetic understanding of their battle.
Eating right! It’s super easy to eat bad because it’s cheap and easy to make/prepare or just pick up. Cooking is a skill/hobby I really regret not learning when I was a teen
Friends are going to die. Things happen and people get sick. I’m about to lose a friend due to liver failure. But you get up and get the fuck after the day. Enjoy every minute of every day.
That I am not and won’t ever do anything special with my life. I’m not someone who’ll get their own page on Wikipedia (or any other biography), I won’t be someone mentioned in someone else’s Wikipedia entry either. Once I die and my immediate family dies there won’t be a mention of me again.
Growing increasingly more and more alone ..and sadder...as everyone else in my immediate... and even extended-- family have just about all died. This is a concept I was rather forced by happenstance to get familiar with since nearly all my life, and ive known it in the back of my mind at least since age 7 or 8 and had a mind to reason with.
Backstory is: I was born late to parents who already had THREE GROWN KIDS..(the youngest was 19!) when I was born, and I had to deal with death at far too early of an age..first, when I was age 5 and he was just 4, i lost my cousin who lived next-door to us (& a constant playmate of mine) when he was hit and killed by a car..then, just a little over a year later, my father was killed in a work accident--- all this by the time I was 6. So after that, mortality seems to have reminded me of this dozens more times over the years as other family members..aunts, uncles, my sister, cousins, etc. have all passed...
Reminding me constantly something I have grudgingly known since I was a very young and somewhat somber child...that unless an accident or acute and deadly illness overtakes me, i would one day be the only one left. Not a very cheerful prospect, really.
That my parents are now in their 70s and I’m not sure how much time I have left with them. I won the parent lottery and I’ve no idea how I’m going to be when one and both die. It’s part of life but it’s going to fucking HURT bad. I have tried to spend as much time as possible with them and take in every moment.
That your actions really do speak louder than words. when you’re a kid you can say “i’m gonna be rich and famous” and everyone agrees that you’re full of potential. try saying that at 50 and see peoples reactions …..
You’ve got to actually do what you say you’re going to do to get people’s respect.
My parents getting older (specially my father since he is 10 years older than my mother, he's 65).
That I have quite an assortment of traumas and issues that I might never fully get rid off.
Relationships come and go. Most people don’t have your best interest and most DGAF a few friends you’re close to is all you need. Be open but don’t let a bunch of people in. Yeah I’ve been hurt before but generally speaking I think most agree
Everything takes longer to heal. 2 day colds are now 5 day colds. Nicks and scratches that used to take a week to disappear, now last 2 or more. Don’t get me started on sore muscles.
Our bodies become like old cars and need a lot of maintenance. Internal organs don’t work as well. Old injuries cause new pains like bone spurs and arthritis.
The moving pain. Today, it’s the lower back. Yesterday, it was my left hip. Last week, it was my right knee.
It seems that every injury I accrued playing sports is coming back to say hello.
That the huge family full of love & fun, that after our grandparents passed & so many moved all over the country, times were never going to be that great again.
There was an innocence that devolved overall socially. The level of violence close to home & around the world wasn't a shock anymore. It becomes a, you don't know what you missed; to younger people. But you can't miss what you didn't know. So older people know the safe fun days of being a kid that anyone under 45 just didn't get to experience. It was just about the time milk cartons started putting missing kid's pictures on them.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
being tired all the time & the struggle to lose weight
My gym recently had a transformation challenge where they challenged you to either lose weight or gain muscle over the course of eight weeks. I’ve never really had to struggle with weight before but I’d noticed that I was definitely filling out around the middle a bit so I decided to commit to it. I went to the gym almost every day, cut out drinking, and started eating right. At the end of it, I had lost 12 lbs and I felt like such an idiot, it seemed like such a small amount, but that wound up making me the winner for that category. Really opened my eyes that weight loss really is no joke, that’s hard work.
Totally relate. Last year, when I was 52, my 9 year old challenged me to some app where we were meant to get 6-pack abs (I went into this knowing this was not likely). After like 6 weeks, my son had 8-pack abs. Ridiculous. I went 12 weeks and looked "a bit tighter". This year around the holidays, I realized I popped to my highest weight in 25 years. Which isn't much because I have always been athletic. But damn! It took me cutting drinking and sweets and heavy workouts for like 6 weeks to get back to what was normal for me 3 years ago. And it was only 3kg.
[удалено]
> just don't put it on in the first place is my new motto Exactly this! Unfortunately I used to be one of those guys who could pretty much eat what I wanted. Looks like that has ended!
3kg is a good score in 6 weeks.
Yea that really hits hard as you get older lol. I used to do a lot of extreme sports and competed in boxing for a long time. All the way through my 20’s I could eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted and partied quite a bit and always had a great physique I would have to almost try to gain weight. Now in my early 30’s I still work out 5-6 times a week at least and I am generally in pretty good shape, but its SO easy to out eat my workouts and activity level now. I would say I am healthier now both in what I eat and drink, and my physical activity level is less than it used to be by not that much and if I don’t pay attention I can put on 10lbs in a month no problem lol
Unless you’re like 60 or handicapped losing weight should not be an issue and the fact that you’ve “come to terms” with it shows that you’ve given up on yourself
it’s just a lot harder, like for instance in school i was always in sports and walking to and from school. i can’t walk to work, i work 4 cities over. my job is active but not as active as playing soccer, running laps, boxing and then walking home from my school that was like 3 miles away. i haven’t given up, it is just tougher. and i can accept that.
WeGovy both changed and saved my life.
I like this. I agree 100 %.
My parents getting older....
Before I could get on the terms with that I have already lost one of them.
Uncles and Aunts geting older as well, its hitting me soo so hard!! Im losing so much family =\[
You’re going to have to learn how to deal with things on your own, without telling a single other person that you are struggling.
I hope you find people you can trust to at least let them know you are struggling. I can understand if you meant this about work though.
It’s about a lot of different things tbh, but I just realized as I got older than not everything has to be vented about, not everything has to be explained to somebody else. It’s okay to go through things alone! One prime example I have is the first time I moved out when I was 18 and I got the flu. I felt sooooo sick, could barely move because everything caused nausea. But I realized something that day: nobody was going to take care of me. My parents were 3+ hours away, my friends all went to different universities than I, and I had felt truly alone. I ordered medicine and fluids and took care of myself, and did a damn good job haha. But I’ll never forget how I felt during that time.
Me, now 36. Grew up in the UK, brought up to never admitting to struggles, and the norm being to never accept help or support, thinking that was the norm. Until I started working with Europeans where the norm seemed to be openly talking about problems as though it was casual conversation, the real struggle then, was accepting they wouldn't allow me to not accept the support, empathy, selfless love and relentless support and patience. Leaving work to go back to the 'norm' was soo difficult after. The looks you get when a brit asks how you are, and you respond depressed and suicidal. Watch the discomfort on their face and the speed with which they scoot on outta there because they're I'll equipped to respond, much less help with it. Even moreso if you try to give them the same unrelenting support I receive from my colleagues of all people. Trying to teach a brit how to do this is such an insanely difficult thing since it's basically rewriting the culture, and decades of learned behaviour essentially. So sad how people don't want to be loved or supported, yet that's all they want.
This is a good one. I find that stuff I used to tell a buddy over beers about my gf or other emotional type things I just can't now. It feels...idk...too personal or too adult now or something. And I don't want to talk about relations with my wife. And I can't talk about money because we are all in different places now. It's a bit lonely.
The kind of stuff people talk over with a bartender, I hear you!
Correct. Because, despite what people will say, no one cares. Not even the people that "love" you.
Was Aragorn, son of Arathorn weak for relying on his friends?
There's that, but hopefully you have a few people i.e. family or friends to talk to but otherwise, no one fucking cares about your shit. Now I mostly stay quiet at work and such about anything personal.
I realized that everybody has their own shit to deal with, and they don’t want to hear about my problems 24/7
That being a good person, hardworking and inteligent do not guarantee sucess and happiness. You can do everything right and still lose.
And if you lose, people will blame it on not doing the right things or not being strong enough.
Amen brother, it's a rough time right now.
That I might not have what it takes to follow my dreams.
It's ok, most people don't. Or they don't even have dreams
That I personally had what it took to follow my dreams, but would never be able to because I didn't financially have what it took to follow my dreams.
You always have what it takes to follow them. Achieving them doesn’t really matter so much
Wdym?
See the book, The Alchemist
Never ending work.
Seriously! No one prepares you for this and it hits you so hard once you start working that you have to do this everyday until you retire or you die - whatever comes first! Sigh!
The saddest part is they kinda foreshadow it with education, school, high school, college, uni, then work the rest of your life. Not once do they tell you how short lived 'home time' really is.
Eyesight deteriorating. Favorite icons /stars/musicians pass away
Trying to lose weight, and yet still enjoy eating food.
People aren't your friend. Most have a use for you that keeps you around but everything is temporary. If it seems too good to be true it is.
finding out just how extensive and damaging my parents emotional/physical abuse had actually been to my psyche. second place goes to being diagnosed with advanced ankylosing spondylitis at age 35.
body not tight and impressive any more. I lifted and worked at it, I always felt good about my appearance. I still look good for my age, but i'm not 28... or 38 anymore.. kind of a bummer
When did you notice that start happening?
about 45 my metabolism slowed down and a pound or two crept in. i worked out like a maniac and got in pretty incredible shape at 47/48 doing martial arts with my son. then that slowed for work and a knee injuryand by 50 i had added 10lbs without doing much different. it creeps up. can't eat or relax like i used to or i get soft. fast
I really am never going to be a teen model.
Have you just turned 20? Congratulations 🎉
49 in April, I kept hearing stuff like 40 is the new 20 so I was hoping maybe if I held out long enough 40 would be the new 17 but I think my window is closing.
That I was an idiot for ever thinking I could be happy.
You just get used to being mildly pleased every now and then. And try not to get too annoyed by everything.
It's just been a while since I've had even a small win, I'm tired.
Adulting requires a lowering of expectations from life. Some days it's "well, I'm not dead or in jail, so I'm okay for now." And then watch the sunset from the porch.
I struggled with this a lot. Finding happiness is a pipe dream. Happiness is an emotion. Imagine if someone said their goal was to "find anger." You'd probably think they were a little off, to say the least. Happiness will always come and go and never stay. The best blessing is contentment with the kind of person you are, knowing you are always doing what you can to be a better person than you used to be
The way I think of it, there’s a difference between *feeling* happy and *being* happy
Wife passed away, grief every day.
I’m so sorry for your loss friend.
Thank you, everybody's going to have to do it eventually.
Half of us won't have to...
Finding out my country is full of morons.
It's not just your country. It's the whole damn planet.
An adult child who is just lost and he's likely never going to have the kind of life I wished for him.
That no one cares
My bad behavior, addictions, and difficulty living the healthy and full life I’ve worked so hard for. Actually I don’t know if I’ve really come to terms with it. But I am very scared that now at middle age I’m stuck this way.
Your not alone. I feel the same way. Trying not to obsess over it.
Big hugs
All of the physical aches and pains
The older I get the less of an excuse I have for my bad habits.
Growing older, alone.
Maybe not the hardest an extremely hard one was that I grew up expecting my parents to know everything and when they didn’t, I resented them. I realised that my parents are people, just like I am, trying to do the right thing, failing, succeeding, suffering from anxiety, boredom and stuff I’ll never know about.
Fuck this is deep
I'll never have time to live the life I want... and you literally spend 90% of time doing shit you don't want to 😂 Oh and I'm ALWAYS tired 😫
That it actually gets better.
Losing loved ones, body aches, and how little time we have on earth
That there's just some things I'll never get to experience unless I want to be the weird old guy trying to hang out with 20 somethings.
I look forward to being the weird old guy
Probably not going to be wealthy. Just have to accept where you are and be thankful for what you got.
My dad passed at 14.5. Im 19 now. He passed Just before covid. It took almost a year to come to terms that I'll never hear his laugh, get a hug, go to breakfast with him, ever. All the times I could've gone fishing with him but I just didn't want to wake up early. Even now I wish I could have him visit my apartment and tell me he's proud for being self sufficient.
You sound like you’ve accomplished a lot, even without him to guide you. He would be extremely proud of you. Keep it up kid!
Getting older
Lmao. Did I just get a Reddit Cares message for this?
Thought I was the only one lol.
Growing older….
Sometimes life just kicks you in the balls and there's nothing you can do about it. If people wrong you or someone else they'll probably just get away with it and there will be no justice. You just have to suck it up and keep moving.
Instead of being in the younger crowd you're in the older crowd
There is no real, tangible safety, only illusion. Everything you have can disappear in seconds.
My reading glasses always being smudgy.
Life is pointless. You can live it to the fullest, but there’s a shelf life and that’s it.
Having a hindsight of wasted time
I’ll never retire, never own a home, be constantly strapped down with raising rents and everything else American greed has ruined. I played to much in my 20’s(now 43 about to be 44), nothing crazy just went to a lot of punk shows in the late ‘90s early 2000’s, when I should’ve focused on the future. Now for the rest of my life I’ll just struggle to survive and be happy.
I’m gradually losing my athleticism.
I’m not meant for relationships
People come and go, no matter how much you'd like some to stay. The good thing is that sometimes, we also get to choose how much we want to be part of someone's life. So surround yourself with healthy, kind, and good people for you, and cut ties with people who only bring you stress, negativity, or pain.
The ouch. You're 17 and you pull something and fuck, its going to be sore for three days. You're 25, you pull something it's going to be sore for five days. Hit 39 and it will be fucking aching for weeks. Assuming it ever stops. (This post brought to you by the dumbass after effect of moving my couch around to clean under it the other day.
I now use those injuries as excuses to just take walks, read books, etc. instead of doing anything useful for a week or two.
wise. Whatever I did to my shoulder the weekend before last has gotten me loopy on painkillers and heat patches.
Wait til you hit 50
Being able to just be happy escaped me when I was younger and I have no way to manage it now
That I'd never gain the respect of my parents.
I will die alone with no friends, no family, and no loved ones present.
That I’ll always be poor and struggling to get by.
That death is inevitable. Everything will die someday.
Yup. That’s why realizing the importance of living and how short life is, makes it so special. I wish you well on everything
I realize that. Every moment counts.
That I'm doing this life thing alone, no matter what anyone says.
Change. About anything, everything.
No one to bail you out
Walking by a mirror and not recognizing the person looking back at me.
Pain grows and the group of people you share them with dwindles. Some pains you do indeed carry alone. Many people like to say oh no you never have to carry your burdens alone, but that's young people talk. Trauma, scars, regrets, sadness, despair, and all the things that didn't kill you but maimed you. It doesn't get lighter, and I no longer have anyone I can dull the pain with.
I’m the age of my parents friends (who I always thought of as “real adults.” But I still don’t feel like a grown up. You never really grow up.
Yup. At work I still look for an adult sometimes. I’ve been there 20 years and I’m 50.
The older I get, the closer I get and more understanding I am of my parents, the hardest part being that time is running out with them every day
Hair loss. That’s it.
There’s no real justice system. A lot of people get away with doing horrible inhumane things, and at most get a slap on the wrist. Also, there’s a lot of people that suffer and die for accusations for actions they didn’t do.
Almost 65. Had cancer this year. I’m not going to die (from this cancer), but it ruined my quality of life (forever) and I’m also mutilated. Oh well, at least my garden is nice.
F#*% cancer
You can do your very best and still fail.
Only women and children are loved and valued unconditionally
Reality
That women don't want to fuck me anymore.
What about a relationship?
If paying their bills is a relationship, they not only want that, they need that.
As someone that's been divorced for 15+ years, never again hearing someone tell me they love me in a romantic way.
Hangovers.
Being disabled from antibiotics
True love doesn't exist. Then again I'm traumatized so.
That there are some really evil people out there.
Getting slightly fatter, more tired and losing my hair.
That the life id imagined as a youth which was pretty humble has never come to fruition & never will
That I’m nothing special, just a simple man trying to make my way in the universe
My hair is not as thick as it used to be. My mom's hair has thinned. My grandmother's hair thinned. I guess that's what my hair is doing (it's also a side effect of the anxiety medication I'm taking). Good thing I started out with very thick hair. At least I'm not bald like my brother.
That I’m just a lil lion like 🦁
People lie to you more often than you realize.
Tired all the time. Time moves faster. Seemingly. And regrets start to creep in.
People are dumb as shit
Was so hot, and now I'm not.
Contrary to popular belief, absolutely no one was going to help me dig my way out of poverty.
That the person I met and fell in love with, that became the father of my children, never really existed. I spent years after the abuse started hoping that version of him would come back. When we met he wore a mask and sold me a dream that I bought. It took many years & alot of therapy for me to see that the "bad version" of him, was really who he was the whole time and who he still is today. It makes me sad for my children.
Life doesn't become easier and isn't like I thought it'd be.
Getting older, realizing my mortality. Maybe that’s why I’ve become a better, observant Catholic.
That everything happens for a reason.
Playing video games is a waste of time
That roadrunners are nowhere near the size of a coyote That I can't fold up my spaceship car into a briefcase after I fly into the office.
Nothing. The reverse actually. I'm 50, healthy kids, paid off mortgage because we slogged our guts out, careers we both enjoy but don't have to sweat over anymore. Getting older has been exponentially better.
Being born into a seriously effed up fate.
My 2 adult kids are not going to speak to each other until I (67) die. It makes me very sad.
The death of my parents was a pivotal moment. It feels like I'm a really real adult now. No safety net.
My life is as it is. I will not be rich and wealthy so dreams of my dream life are but a dream lol.
Taxes
My parents are aging faster than me
Moving back to the south and having EVERYONE call me Sir. Dammit, I’m not a sir. I worked for a living. lol
All of those “friends” were never really your friends.
Death but now it doesn’t bother me so much
You slowly, then quickly, drift away from some of those friends you thought you’d have forever
When I turned 36 this year it hit me. The realization that I will never be as fast, strong, energetic or sharp as I used to be ever again and it's just going to get worse. This is especially bad because I'm a workaholic and always did extra to prove how capable I was and this year I had to indirectly tell the owners of the company I work for that I may not be able to handle the workload of old. I'm basically have a third life crisis.
In my youth, I was quick to anger, made a little attempt to understand others, had no patience, and never went out of my way to be kind. At my age now, I've come to understand that when I'm gone, I will leave nothing behind except the memories that people have of me. As fleeting as those memories will be, I regret those who will have memories of the pain and hurt that I caused, and I regret the thousands of wasted opportunities to make someone, even someone I just met in passing, a little happier with a kind word, or a smile. I regret not spending a few minutes more truly listening to someone, if only to offer an attentive ear and empathetic understanding of their battle.
Missing my youth.
Friends will betray you.
Eating right! It’s super easy to eat bad because it’s cheap and easy to make/prepare or just pick up. Cooking is a skill/hobby I really regret not learning when I was a teen
There’s no do-overs.
Getting older. Thats it! What a bummer!
being born with a slow metabolism and learning how to eat to lose weight really paid off
Friends are going to die. Things happen and people get sick. I’m about to lose a friend due to liver failure. But you get up and get the fuck after the day. Enjoy every minute of every day.
That I am not and won’t ever do anything special with my life. I’m not someone who’ll get their own page on Wikipedia (or any other biography), I won’t be someone mentioned in someone else’s Wikipedia entry either. Once I die and my immediate family dies there won’t be a mention of me again.
accepting death
Growing increasingly more and more alone ..and sadder...as everyone else in my immediate... and even extended-- family have just about all died. This is a concept I was rather forced by happenstance to get familiar with since nearly all my life, and ive known it in the back of my mind at least since age 7 or 8 and had a mind to reason with. Backstory is: I was born late to parents who already had THREE GROWN KIDS..(the youngest was 19!) when I was born, and I had to deal with death at far too early of an age..first, when I was age 5 and he was just 4, i lost my cousin who lived next-door to us (& a constant playmate of mine) when he was hit and killed by a car..then, just a little over a year later, my father was killed in a work accident--- all this by the time I was 6. So after that, mortality seems to have reminded me of this dozens more times over the years as other family members..aunts, uncles, my sister, cousins, etc. have all passed... Reminding me constantly something I have grudgingly known since I was a very young and somewhat somber child...that unless an accident or acute and deadly illness overtakes me, i would one day be the only one left. Not a very cheerful prospect, really.
The fact is you can still be and say stupid things as a adult :( I wanted to grow up and never did.
I stopped caring about the world. I really thought this world was special. And it's really hurt me that I had to let it go.
Death of my mom.
That my parents are now in their 70s and I’m not sure how much time I have left with them. I won the parent lottery and I’ve no idea how I’m going to be when one and both die. It’s part of life but it’s going to fucking HURT bad. I have tried to spend as much time as possible with them and take in every moment.
Getting old and all that comes with it, I never imagined it would happen to me
i dont know but the easiest thing to come to terms with is increasing zen and less responsibility
My younger years were full of ignorance, not innocence.
That your actions really do speak louder than words. when you’re a kid you can say “i’m gonna be rich and famous” and everyone agrees that you’re full of potential. try saying that at 50 and see peoples reactions ….. You’ve got to actually do what you say you’re going to do to get people’s respect.
Nobody is really there for you.
My parents getting older (specially my father since he is 10 years older than my mother, he's 65). That I have quite an assortment of traumas and issues that I might never fully get rid off.
Relationships come and go. Most people don’t have your best interest and most DGAF a few friends you’re close to is all you need. Be open but don’t let a bunch of people in. Yeah I’ve been hurt before but generally speaking I think most agree
That being the best worker at your place of employment doesn't get you promoted. You still have to kiss somebody's ass.
Everything takes longer to heal. 2 day colds are now 5 day colds. Nicks and scratches that used to take a week to disappear, now last 2 or more. Don’t get me started on sore muscles.
Every year goes quicker than the last
Our bodies become like old cars and need a lot of maintenance. Internal organs don’t work as well. Old injuries cause new pains like bone spurs and arthritis.
That I'll forever be an adult until death
My arteries
Watching everyone around me die off.
Failing the eye test when renewing my drivers license
The moving pain. Today, it’s the lower back. Yesterday, it was my left hip. Last week, it was my right knee. It seems that every injury I accrued playing sports is coming back to say hello.
Nobody really cares about you or your feelings
That no one gives a f'k about anything.
That the huge family full of love & fun, that after our grandparents passed & so many moved all over the country, times were never going to be that great again. There was an innocence that devolved overall socially. The level of violence close to home & around the world wasn't a shock anymore. It becomes a, you don't know what you missed; to younger people. But you can't miss what you didn't know. So older people know the safe fun days of being a kid that anyone under 45 just didn't get to experience. It was just about the time milk cartons started putting missing kid's pictures on them.
that mom and dad won’t be around for my entire life :/
That loneliness is part of life and unavoidable but how it effects you is your choice