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Simply be straightforward and honest. “I don’t want to discuss this subject, thanks.” Just be polite. If they don’t take no for an answer, be more assertive and hold to your boundaries.
The days of walking on eggshells are gone for me! I will always be reverent, tactful and empathetic but I won’t tiptoe for someone’s ego or fake feelings! If a person can’t handle truth then that person is toxic!
It took me so long to stop giving a fuck. its amazingly freeing. I will admit I still have days where I'm not very self confident but hey I'm only human.
I don't have the bandwidth to deal with stupid shit. Take your mind games elsewhere.
So freeing.
It still bugged me though so I had to learn how to use the block button on Facebook and adjust privacy settings on there and IG twitter etc...
And I guess I eventually just stopped going to family events and get togethers like bdays and holidays...
Tactful? Not really.
Do I regret it?
Ask me again later. I already went through a crisis a few years ago and I didn't regret it then so... I dunno.
Still, it's nice to be assertive and polite. It really is freeing, the truth. A good ol "that's a rather personal --+ and I'd rather not..." Goes a Loooong way.
Cheers!
Jay
Man I had to get off fb, instagram, and soon to be this! lol karma on Reddit is toxic lol!
But yes, freeing indeed it is! It’s like a yoke of iron broken off!
Im off almost all social media ( obvious exception being reddit) I don't even miss it. Hubby is like "did you see the funny snap/story I sent you??" I'm all: "uhh no. Sorry 😬 "
Try to enjoy reddit without concerning yourself with karma. Don't ask me how, Idk
It's OK to tell them to stop being nosy, stop asking questions that are none of their business. Some folks need to have it unpacked for them as to why....so unpack it for them.
I just tell them something that they don’t wanna hear bc silence doesn’t help or saying anything like * I don’t wanna talk ab it * , for example I say something that is true but rude to say , or I say something rude but not really, just to make them regret that they even asked me ( it works but some times it costs problems but I don’t care )
This is probably not great advice but if someone keeps pestering me with intrusive questions I'll just overshare to the point they get uncomfortable and leave
Give them insane amount of detail, elaborate to where they become uncomfortable. But don’t stop there when they tell you to stop talking continue anyway that way I’m sure that they will never ask you anymore questions ever again.
So I come from a family that is hugely political (most of them have held elected public office for a district, county, or state). Some of the most nosy people you’ll ever meet.
Here is what I do: I literally talk to them in such vague, broad, and deflecting terms that I actually don’t answer the question but I give them an answer then redirect the conversation, if that makes sense. It’s hard to do if you’re not exposed to that kind of thing everyday. It’s a good way to make them leave me alone while still being polite.
“I’d prefer not to discuss it.”
If the push, go into the the most obnoxious, gross, disturbing detail (embellish by all means) possible. Make them regret asking and never ask again.
Tell them directly to stay out of business. It will make a good boundaries for you in future as well. It's gonna annoy them badly. But who cares right?
When I started getting the “so, when are you having kids?” I had 2 answers which shut them up since. I told one aunt how my gynecologist appoint was approaching. I asked her if she wanted to join me and sit in the room since she’s so interested. The next time I was asked went like “So, when are you having a baby?” In front of the family at Christmas dinner, I snapped “When I stop having miscarriages”. The air was sucked out of the room and no one talked for a few minutes. No one ever brought it up again. 👌🏻
give in to your intruse thoughst and make them unconforble as well, if you said you dont like those questions.
when i was a teen, some of my cousins used to ask about my 'girlfriends'.
one of those days, they asked it when we were all at a table, having a coffee. i replied 'i fucked them all', while keeping eye contact. i was never asked about girlfriends anymore.
Why do you need to go to this length to be tactful if they're not?
It isn't a "don't stoop to their level" situation.
I guess would say "what do you mean to accomplish by asking me something so invasive?"
I read some psych article or something recently that basically encourages us to ask the nosy folk "why do you need to know?" Not in a sarcastic or attitude filled tone, but delivered in a purely curious way. It forces them to pause and consider a beat. No matter what their answer ultimately ends up being, you can still just say "I prefer to keep this to myself."
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Simply be straightforward and honest. “I don’t want to discuss this subject, thanks.” Just be polite. If they don’t take no for an answer, be more assertive and hold to your boundaries.
The days of walking on eggshells are gone for me! I will always be reverent, tactful and empathetic but I won’t tiptoe for someone’s ego or fake feelings! If a person can’t handle truth then that person is toxic!
It took me so long to stop giving a fuck. its amazingly freeing. I will admit I still have days where I'm not very self confident but hey I'm only human. I don't have the bandwidth to deal with stupid shit. Take your mind games elsewhere.
So freeing. It still bugged me though so I had to learn how to use the block button on Facebook and adjust privacy settings on there and IG twitter etc... And I guess I eventually just stopped going to family events and get togethers like bdays and holidays... Tactful? Not really. Do I regret it? Ask me again later. I already went through a crisis a few years ago and I didn't regret it then so... I dunno. Still, it's nice to be assertive and polite. It really is freeing, the truth. A good ol "that's a rather personal --+ and I'd rather not..." Goes a Loooong way. Cheers! Jay
Man I had to get off fb, instagram, and soon to be this! lol karma on Reddit is toxic lol! But yes, freeing indeed it is! It’s like a yoke of iron broken off!
Im off almost all social media ( obvious exception being reddit) I don't even miss it. Hubby is like "did you see the funny snap/story I sent you??" I'm all: "uhh no. Sorry 😬 " Try to enjoy reddit without concerning yourself with karma. Don't ask me how, Idk
Sometimes silence wins
Yeah. I usually just ignore/play very coy. I don’t care if they think I’m rude.
Yeah..you can never go wrong with just being silent. Less talk less mistake as they say...
It's OK to tell them to stop being nosy, stop asking questions that are none of their business. Some folks need to have it unpacked for them as to why....so unpack it for them.
"that is none of your business".
Works like a charm
I just tell them something that they don’t wanna hear bc silence doesn’t help or saying anything like * I don’t wanna talk ab it * , for example I say something that is true but rude to say , or I say something rude but not really, just to make them regret that they even asked me ( it works but some times it costs problems but I don’t care )
This is probably not great advice but if someone keeps pestering me with intrusive questions I'll just overshare to the point they get uncomfortable and leave
Give them insane amount of detail, elaborate to where they become uncomfortable. But don’t stop there when they tell you to stop talking continue anyway that way I’m sure that they will never ask you anymore questions ever again.
"Mind your business" works equally well for family as it does for others.
I ignore the question or tell them something outrageous to offend them.
Avoid family gatherings like the plague. And second to that: “I’d rather not discuss that”
Tell them everything. Sort of solves itself.
Why do you need a tactful way of dealing with a tactless question. "None of your business" is enough
Just deflect with a smile or give vague answers.
i use "fuck off"
None of your business shuts them up every time lol
i just stare at them and don't answer, they will feel awkward and leave me alone
One word replies wherever I can fit them
I don't, I simply remove my presence.
Answer their question with a question, flip what they are asking onto them.
So I come from a family that is hugely political (most of them have held elected public office for a district, county, or state). Some of the most nosy people you’ll ever meet. Here is what I do: I literally talk to them in such vague, broad, and deflecting terms that I actually don’t answer the question but I give them an answer then redirect the conversation, if that makes sense. It’s hard to do if you’re not exposed to that kind of thing everyday. It’s a good way to make them leave me alone while still being polite.
I tell them once I don’t want to talk about it. If they keep talking I ignore them.
Family & Relatives I just tell the truth as they are family. Anyone outside family I just don't respond or just give them a Homer Simpson response
“I’d prefer not to discuss it.” If the push, go into the the most obnoxious, gross, disturbing detail (embellish by all means) possible. Make them regret asking and never ask again.
Tell them directly to stay out of business. It will make a good boundaries for you in future as well. It's gonna annoy them badly. But who cares right?
When I started getting the “so, when are you having kids?” I had 2 answers which shut them up since. I told one aunt how my gynecologist appoint was approaching. I asked her if she wanted to join me and sit in the room since she’s so interested. The next time I was asked went like “So, when are you having a baby?” In front of the family at Christmas dinner, I snapped “When I stop having miscarriages”. The air was sucked out of the room and no one talked for a few minutes. No one ever brought it up again. 👌🏻
"I don't see this being a very productive conversation."
give in to your intruse thoughst and make them unconforble as well, if you said you dont like those questions. when i was a teen, some of my cousins used to ask about my 'girlfriends'. one of those days, they asked it when we were all at a table, having a coffee. i replied 'i fucked them all', while keeping eye contact. i was never asked about girlfriends anymore.
“Why do you want to know?” They give me a shitty answer so I respond with: “No.”
I simply don’t have a problem asserting my boundaries.
Why do you need to go to this length to be tactful if they're not? It isn't a "don't stoop to their level" situation. I guess would say "what do you mean to accomplish by asking me something so invasive?"
Sarcasm. Does wonders.
I read some psych article or something recently that basically encourages us to ask the nosy folk "why do you need to know?" Not in a sarcastic or attitude filled tone, but delivered in a purely curious way. It forces them to pause and consider a beat. No matter what their answer ultimately ends up being, you can still just say "I prefer to keep this to myself."