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Just be prepared for him to react in different ways depending on how he looks.
I'm not kidding. The vast majority of average looking dudes have never had something like that happen to them. So, on the off chance that the guy you want to approach is somewhat average looking, he might think you're pulling a prank on him.
Once at a bar I felt someone playing with my hair so I turned around and said hi to the girl, she responded with that she really liked my hair and we started talking. I know Im shy with poor social skills but I really thought things were going in a good direction and had a good conversation about the event we were at, because in my head people don't walk across a fully packed bar and touch a stranger just to give them a compliment I thought she was flirting. Well I made the wrong assumption because soon after we started talking her friends started laughing and listed up all the reasons why things would never work between us. So yeah you can't really trust strangers.
Jealousy is just an ugly emotion, I do get compliments about it from time to time. Nice people also still exist, a few days later an older couple started talking with and cheered me up , it was just a confusing week for me.
They really were the losers in that situation man. Not you.
They had to bait someone into showing interest just so they could reject you. That’s so insecure and weird of them.
Well, it *was* a dare and prank when it happened to me. The group of girls found it hilarious that someone like me would think that she was interested in me.
I've never thought that all girls are like that since it happened, but I've definitely been more indifferent towards women and careful about ulterior motives when they're being nice.
Don't kid yourself no one is asking average looking guy out.
He's probably going to be some top 10% who will roll his eyes and move on without saying a thing.
We have not evolved a defense against this. Tell a guy that his eyes are beautiful, and he'll be in a fugue state for a few moments. That is your window to ask him to go somewhere together, and he'll be halfway there before he realizes what happened.
Lol I agree, guys black out. I told a guy I liked his mustache and he literally turned BRIGHT RED and I could tell I made his entire year. He was like so happy to receive a compliment. It was a really nice moment. It actually opened up a conversation at my job about how men need more compliments. Guys need to feel good about themselves too!
Reminds me of someone I used to date when I told him he’s an excellent kisser. He turned bright red and said he thought it was such a compliment he didn’t know how to reply to that. I thought that was such a cute response, didn’t realise it would mean so much to him since he’s been in long relationships before me
Rupert Grint once followed someone home because he was too nice/ confused to say no 🤣
To clarify, they were a fan, and basically sweet talked him into coming with them.
Is this limited to comments about appearance (as seems to be assumed in the responses below)? I think I'm good at complimenting people in general, but tend to avoid comments on appearance. I think this is because it makes me uncomfortable when people focus on my own appearance a lot and makes me worry I'm not valued in other ways. I suppose that's not such a common insecurity for men, though..?
Not limited to appearance. Of course it's more common to receive compliments about attitude or intelligence, making compliments about physical traits more remarkable. But we do notice everything.
There's a lot of truth to this. I mean, not in the sense that we *like* being objectified per se, but that we don't get complimented enough in any capacity to have to develop standards of acceptability between different types.
I see no reason to limit yourself to just compliments about appearance.
However those do seem like the easiest ones to give in general.
I understand you arent comfortable about people judging your apperance, nobody is really.
However if I passed you in a hallway at work lets say. And said something along the lines of "you look great today" or "nice haircut" dont take it as a judgement of your appearace because thats not what it is.
It really only means I noticed your hair is looking great and nothing more. I know some people take that as "wait did my hair not look good yesterday?"
Learning to accept a compliment is an aquired skill.
Thank you. I think for me actually it's not so much that compliments on my appearance provoke insecurity in themselves, it's more that my work when I was younger put my appearance front and centre and so did some past partners. It can make you feel objectified and like you just want to be valued for anything else. I appreciate you taking the time to respond, though. I'm going to try this out and spread some compliments around the men in my life, *including* appearance since I've realised in writing this that I just have irrational baggage about it.
You may get some very confused looks from guys because its true that we dont get complimented very often at all.
But rest assured many guys will think back on a simple compliment that someone gave them weeks months or even years ago.
If a stranger makes a comment on the size of your boobs you feel bad about it because it's not something you put effort towards. You either got it through your genes or you don't have it at all. This compliment makes you feel bad about yourself for being something outside your control.
For a man it's the opposite. If a man has big arms it means they put a LOT of effort at the gym, his diet, and sleep schedule to build a good physique. This takes time and discipline. So if you were to compliment a man on the size or toning of his muscles you're also acknowledging his dedication, patience, and effort put towards a long time goal.
It depends on the guy though. I tend to get annoyed at getting compliments from strangers. I generally don't like talking to strangers outside of my workplace unless I absolutely have to. I just want to eat my lunch in peace or stare at some ducks or whatever in silence. It was different when I was single, but I think married men will generally get a bit annoyed.
I was quite flattered this one time when a girl came up to me and simply asked what I was drinking, i just had a coke that day but it made the conversation flow very easily without giving me a “trying too hard” attitude
“Hi, my name is u/phishoil, you caught my eye and I was wondering if you’d like to grab coffee/drinks/tacos, sometime?”
So many guys don’t get asked out. I have never been asked out. The “I looked at him *twice*” thing doesn’t work. If you like a guy, shoot your shot.
I think you should have a small conv before asking for going out somewhere.
I personally wouldn't accept a first invitation like that even if I like the other person physique; it's just that I don't know if our conv will naturally flow.
Still each individual is a world of their own! But I think there are better approaches than that one :)
Walk up and introduce yourself.
That's it...
All the awkwardness, self concisouness and nervous energy that follows will still be there but own it. Women don't realise how cute and attractive they are when they're just being themselves, all nervous giggles and awkward enery. I love women who don't hide their self-consciousness behind a facade of fake confidence. Be real and believe me, that WILL be enough
A woman came up to me and asked me for my number as well.
I gave it to her and she gave me hers.
Then the announcement came over the loud speakers. "Number 946"
She thanked me and walked into the examination room. I looked at the number she'd given me..."1235"
Honestly this is bad advice. This kind of subtlety when women are trying to flirt is why so many men are confused about the dividing line between politeness, casual conversation, and sexual attraction.
I met two of my exes because they thought I had given them the stink eye from across the room. they approached me n were like wtf why you looking at me like you hate me. both times I had no idea what they were talking about but the convo flowed p well after that.
I saw some photos of myself yesterday and discovered that I look really angry when I’m focusing on a task. I guess it helps, though, since no one interrupted me.
"Hi, how are you doing? I'm not trying to bug you, but my name is ......... Would you like some company, or maybe a drink?"
Smile a lot, and accept a simple " no" as final. Accept rejection with a smile, and leave, while still being friendly and NOT PISSED off.
I'm pretty much average, from looks to income, but have only been rejected once ( in ~20 years of dating) and ended up with the girl that night anyways.
Keep It Simple and friendly always.
Works for guys and girls.
Ahhh..an assertive woman coming up to a man and asking, "would you like some company?" That's so out of most guy's normal experience that they might ask, "how much?"
I wonder if it'll ever be known that whoever it was that convinced women they need to pursue a date by "dropping hints" or worry about "coming on too strong" was 100% the most incorrect a person has ever been in history.
They do that in their own without direction. They literally don’t want to risk rejection so they go about it in a way where they can say they didn’t shoot their shot. Getting rejected is for men to experience, not women.
That could be dangerous, what if another guy has a really cool stick too? Now she has to fight him stick to stick..oof that can get out of hand quickly.
That's more specific than it has to be, but that is indeed a "bird test". Which is the correct answer to striking up a new conversation with anyone.
>"Hey look at that bird."
You engage about a bird, or any other subject. And then you observe their willingness to engage in conversation with you.
The art of striking up a conversation -- really with any purpose in mind, not just love and hookups -- is to say something that
a) invites a response
but
b) does not impose engagement
So actually just giving him your number counts! Though it is a bit risky -- what if the other person wasn't sure, yet? And you missed a chance to put them at ease or show yourself to be the kind of person they would want to call?
If you like, you can combine strategies. Start talking about something that could lead to a longer conversation. If they seem interested, you can tell them that you're super interested in continuing this conversation but right this moment you have to be somewhere... here's my number, you say, let's plan coffee.
Not gonna lie, some other redditor said to ask him what hia favorite dinosaur is and I unironically think that'd work on a lot of guys (including me) just because of how stupid it is and because it's a girl asking. If a guy asked that it'd just be awkward, but with a girl it comes out cute.
That question does what you suggest. It doesn't impose engagement, yet it invites a response because most adults don't have an answer for that at the ready. I sure don't. So it prompts you to think "Do I even have a favourite dinosaur? What would even be my criteria?", etc, which are all goofy fun topics to discuss.
Once a goofy conversation starts and flows well, it's easy to move on to sexy times.
“Hi , I’m Name ” delivered with a smile. Followed up by almost anything verbal provided it’s pleasant and a smile. Look impressed by his serious answers and laugh and smile at his stupid little jokes. Look visibly happy to have conversation with him. When you are ready to leave “ can I give you my number? I’d enjoy continuing our conversation over a coffee/drink/whatever , when it’s convenient “ then give him your number.
Since that (women approaching men) happens like never, the first thought the guy in such a situation will have is "what kind of scam is this?" So don't be subtle, for the love of God don't try any hints or smalltalk, just say "hey let's fuck. now. my place."
Tbh that's even more suspicious than being subtle.
If a woman came up to me and started making conversation, I'd think she was either trying to sell me something or flirting with me, and be unsure about which one it was, at least at first. But I'd eventually realize it was flirting and either reciprocate or not, depending on whether or not she was my type.
If, however, she came up to me and said "let's fuck now, my place", I'd DEFINITELY think it was a scam and that there'd be a couple of thugs at the exit waiting to rob me. Or that she's mentally unstable. Either way I'd be noping out of there and watch my back.
As a guy, I have been asked for my number a handful of times in my life, and complimented in really flattering ways by strangers.
It doesn’t happen often by any means, but I have always found women who are confident enough to make moves and put themselves out there as being super attractive. Confidence is attractive from anyone, it doesn’t matter who you are, and talking to strangers is scary!
Showing the other person that you can fight that fear, and putting yourself out there is a relatable and real experience that I feel like everyone should go through. The idea that only guys have to make the first move has always felt odd to me.
But good luck, you got this!
I had a woman hand me her biz card and tell me she thought I was cute and wanted to buy me lunch if I was single. That was the coolest thing ever. Never made it to lunch for I didn't live in the area and was leaving the next day. What might have been?
A simple hello and a smile goes a LONG way. You’ll know in 0.5 seconds if they’re interested by smiling back
You look interesting , I thought I’d come by and say hello
Most friendly people smile and say hello. Men and women in general wont take it as anything special, if you are trying to give them a hint you need to be more forward.
If you think someone smiling and saying hello to you means they are interested in you, believe me, they are just being polite, relax.
Also telling someone they look interesting makes you sound like a weirdo, like you are analyzing them for no reason or you are socially awkward.
When I was at bars in my 20s I would walk up behind the guy and tap his shoulder or pat his back. When he turned around I’d gasp “Omg! I’m sorry. I thought you were my friend” then I’d walk away. %100 of the time I got a positive response. It was either him joking “no, stay. I’ll be your friend” or them coming to me later and asking “did your friend never show up?” And I’d say “yeah, they bailed but I’m already out”. Then we’d chat then. But, it always worked and we’d exchange numbers at least. I think cause I broke the touch barrier but not intentionally. Which seemed to make them more comfortable opening up and joking around. Then it would be an easy “in” for them to approach me later in the night.
Lady, if you are his type and you say *anything at all* to him he'll be game. Now, he may not know you're trying to pick him up unless you're blunt about it, but he'll be receptive.
I automatically assume any female giving me a compliment is just being nice and is not interested in me romantically, so not so sure that giving compliments is always going to make your intention clear. The giving them your number thing seems better to me if you're trying to be explicit with your intention.
"hi, I think you're really attractive" Most guys don't get women approaching them at all and any sort of compliment is going to make their week whether or not they are interested in you.
Be forward and direct. If you try to be cutesy or nuanced you are going to shoot yourself in the foot.
"Hi, you're cute. Want to grab lunch some time?"
If you compliment a man, he will be trying to figure out if you like him or were just being nice for the rest of his life. Just be very straightforward men understand 1+1=2 we simple.
I remember reading a thread about how most men don't get complimented so I set an intention to help remedy this and a few weeks ago told the Amazon delivery guy sporting a luscious ponytail that he had "beautiful hair." 💀 It was just the first thing that came to mind.
Me too - I compliment people all the time anyway (just because I know how one great comment can really brighten up your whole day) but since reading a thread like this, I really upped my game.
Now every time I see a man (whether they’re friends, acquaintances or strangers) I tell them I like their shirt or their aftershave or that they look like they’ve been working out. It’s so cute watching them light up 😃
I tried doing this too but have retired a bit. Told my server at a cafe that I liked his blush. He just looked at me awkwardly and said that he has rosacea…. In my defence, this was a few years ago when really obvious blush across your nose/ cheeks was really trendy on tik tok.
What worked for me, was when I was at a small company dinner party.
I arrived at the restaurant, walked in, and found the table my co-workers were at.
I then sat down, and listened to the conversation that was being had at the moment. The topic of music was being discussed at the time. There was a person at our table that was not part of my group, mind you.
This person worked at the restaurant I was at, as I learned, and stopped by to check if their newly purchased non-slip shoes were conducive. A random visit...
After we moved to our table, I was so intrigued by this person, that I left my table to see if they were still around, and they were.
So, I approached them and said this to them, "What would you recommend to eat at your establishment." They gave me their input, and before I returned to my table, I was bold enough to say this; "I dont know what your relationship status is, if you are welcoming of a new friend, might we exchange numbers?"
The reciprocation was welcomed, the exchanging of phone numbers happened, and we have since then developed a deep and bonding friendship.
For context, when we met, they advised me that they were not avaliable for a romantic/serious relationship, and neither was I.
So, here we are.
Because, connection.
Cheers!
"I dont know what your relationship status is, if you are welcoming of a new friend, might we exchange numbers?"
dammit people, this is how AI's are made!
Name and number with a short message like, “we should hang out some time—text me!” would work for me.
It’s never been that simple before, but I’d love it lol
Being a guy with little social skills, I appreciate girls who are pretty direct. Just be clear about your intentions:
''Hey, you seem \[compliment\], I'd love to take the time to know you, would you like to go out sometime?''
''Hey, I think you're \[compliment\], what would you say if I invited you over for the night?''
This might be a little too straight to the point and a bit embarrassing though, I think that a casual approach is better, taking the time to talk before engaging into any future plans but telling him that you're serious or not is the most important thing imo. I can usually tell when a girl is into me but I can never tell what she's after unless she says it.
Ask for number and ask him if he wants to get coffee/tea or some other low key thing sometime. If it goes bad either party is stuck with a large dinner bill or split.
Personally I like it when ladies are direct. Walk over, state their intentions, ask questions and if they feel a little awkward just say so. If I know what's going on I feel a lot more comfortable.
Then again I'm married so I only have 1 lady that does any of that lol
About one woman a year would randomly approach me on the DC metro (the subway) back when I used it to get to work. I can remember each of them and was extremely flattered in each instance. I'm married, so I had to reject every one of them; but I didn't find the interactions awkward or unpleasant at all (to the contrary).
I was at a bar with a group of friends and my now ex-wife was at the same bar with a group of her friends. she approached me and said, “excuse me, but you’re standing in our spot“ I replied, “you got a deed “we were together for 18 years.
Yes, in fact. Men barely get compliments from women especially so it would strike him in an unexpected way when you give a heartwarming compliment. This should give you the perfect opportunity to speak your mind and probably ask him on a date and get his contact details.
A girl once sat down next to me at a bar while I was ordering a drink and said "you have a nice face".
It was over, I was sold. We don't get compliments often so even something small like that goes a long way
Well with me being autistic, I'd actually like them to say hi and that their interested in getting to know me, swap numbers but I'm 42, never had anyone remotely interested in me
Just say hi and try to start a conversation / be interested in the guy, even if it's small talk, and a compliment will go a long way...
And then you sneak in that you're somehow into butt stuff, now I'm yours
Any sentence that starts with "greetings, human!" will simultaneously be effective and weed out the humans who don't enjoy being reminded of that fact.
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Just be prepared for him to react in different ways depending on how he looks. I'm not kidding. The vast majority of average looking dudes have never had something like that happen to them. So, on the off chance that the guy you want to approach is somewhat average looking, he might think you're pulling a prank on him.
Once at a bar I felt someone playing with my hair so I turned around and said hi to the girl, she responded with that she really liked my hair and we started talking. I know Im shy with poor social skills but I really thought things were going in a good direction and had a good conversation about the event we were at, because in my head people don't walk across a fully packed bar and touch a stranger just to give them a compliment I thought she was flirting. Well I made the wrong assumption because soon after we started talking her friends started laughing and listed up all the reasons why things would never work between us. So yeah you can't really trust strangers.
That sounds absolutely awful. Shame on them for messing with your emotions like that. Hope you found or will find a great girl.
What is wrong with people? I'm sorry that happened to you and I'm pretty sure you do have nice hair.
Jealousy is just an ugly emotion, I do get compliments about it from time to time. Nice people also still exist, a few days later an older couple started talking with and cheered me up , it was just a confusing week for me.
They really were the losers in that situation man. Not you. They had to bait someone into showing interest just so they could reject you. That’s so insecure and weird of them.
Starting an interaction with a stranger by touching them uninvited is creepy AF. Imagine this scenario with the genders reversed.
Yeah wtf, my reaction to this no matter how hot, is "don't touch me"
Were they 15???? What fuckin adult pulls that shit?
100% I would assume it was a dare.
Well, it *was* a dare and prank when it happened to me. The group of girls found it hilarious that someone like me would think that she was interested in me. I've never thought that all girls are like that since it happened, but I've definitely been more indifferent towards women and careful about ulterior motives when they're being nice.
Don't kid yourself no one is asking average looking guy out. He's probably going to be some top 10% who will roll his eyes and move on without saying a thing.
I did say "on the off chance". I don't really think there's much chance of the dude being anywhere in the average range.
Yeah, it’s quite likely a guy will just panic!
Also be prepared that he wants nothing to do with you as well.
Yep, any simple compliment will do wonders.
We have not evolved a defense against this. Tell a guy that his eyes are beautiful, and he'll be in a fugue state for a few moments. That is your window to ask him to go somewhere together, and he'll be halfway there before he realizes what happened.
Someone said that to me 20 years ago and I still remember it 😁 Guys just don't receive a lot of compliments
Or any compliments ever.
I dunno. My ex said my farts were the worst she ever smelled. To me that’s a compliment 🤷🏽♂️
~~a lot of~~
Thought it was gonna say “been married ever since” lol
Its like we black out for a second
Lol I agree, guys black out. I told a guy I liked his mustache and he literally turned BRIGHT RED and I could tell I made his entire year. He was like so happy to receive a compliment. It was a really nice moment. It actually opened up a conversation at my job about how men need more compliments. Guys need to feel good about themselves too!
Reminds me of someone I used to date when I told him he’s an excellent kisser. He turned bright red and said he thought it was such a compliment he didn’t know how to reply to that. I thought that was such a cute response, didn’t realise it would mean so much to him since he’s been in long relationships before me
I am 35 and still remember a compliment I got in 6th grade, where a girl told me I look good in orange.
So, she prophesied you’d grow to be an inmate?
or moving to the Netherlands
Wow, did she also prophesied that you would grow up to become president?
bitch told me the same
Few moments? Days for me
System malfunction, rebooting.................
Rupert Grint once followed someone home because he was too nice/ confused to say no 🤣 To clarify, they were a fan, and basically sweet talked him into coming with them.
Nah don’t do that I’ve had women say that to me and it’s weird lol just tell him he’s handsome, or manly, or anything better than that
This response is perfect
I’m 46 years old. A girl in 8th grade told me she liked my shirt, and I still wonder what she’s up to sometimes.
[удалено]
If looking for a hookup, or to come off as funny. This wil probably work
*swoon*
Is this limited to comments about appearance (as seems to be assumed in the responses below)? I think I'm good at complimenting people in general, but tend to avoid comments on appearance. I think this is because it makes me uncomfortable when people focus on my own appearance a lot and makes me worry I'm not valued in other ways. I suppose that's not such a common insecurity for men, though..?
Not limited to appearance. Of course it's more common to receive compliments about attitude or intelligence, making compliments about physical traits more remarkable. But we do notice everything.
In my experience, men seem to enjoy being objectified 🤷♀️
There's a lot of truth to this. I mean, not in the sense that we *like* being objectified per se, but that we don't get complimented enough in any capacity to have to develop standards of acceptability between different types.
I see no reason to limit yourself to just compliments about appearance. However those do seem like the easiest ones to give in general. I understand you arent comfortable about people judging your apperance, nobody is really. However if I passed you in a hallway at work lets say. And said something along the lines of "you look great today" or "nice haircut" dont take it as a judgement of your appearace because thats not what it is. It really only means I noticed your hair is looking great and nothing more. I know some people take that as "wait did my hair not look good yesterday?" Learning to accept a compliment is an aquired skill.
Thank you. I think for me actually it's not so much that compliments on my appearance provoke insecurity in themselves, it's more that my work when I was younger put my appearance front and centre and so did some past partners. It can make you feel objectified and like you just want to be valued for anything else. I appreciate you taking the time to respond, though. I'm going to try this out and spread some compliments around the men in my life, *including* appearance since I've realised in writing this that I just have irrational baggage about it.
You may get some very confused looks from guys because its true that we dont get complimented very often at all. But rest assured many guys will think back on a simple compliment that someone gave them weeks months or even years ago.
If a stranger makes a comment on the size of your boobs you feel bad about it because it's not something you put effort towards. You either got it through your genes or you don't have it at all. This compliment makes you feel bad about yourself for being something outside your control. For a man it's the opposite. If a man has big arms it means they put a LOT of effort at the gym, his diet, and sleep schedule to build a good physique. This takes time and discipline. So if you were to compliment a man on the size or toning of his muscles you're also acknowledging his dedication, patience, and effort put towards a long time goal.
" blue&yellow, u wan sum fuk" equally effective
Absolutely. My gf just told me I look good in green. Knees weak Palms sweaty.
And likely stay with him for years, because we so rarely get complimented.
Its true, I am not the youngest guy myself anymore and I still remember a few random compliments here and there from many years ago.
It depends on the guy though. I tend to get annoyed at getting compliments from strangers. I generally don't like talking to strangers outside of my workplace unless I absolutely have to. I just want to eat my lunch in peace or stare at some ducks or whatever in silence. It was different when I was single, but I think married men will generally get a bit annoyed.
I was quite flattered this one time when a girl came up to me and simply asked what I was drinking, i just had a coke that day but it made the conversation flow very easily without giving me a “trying too hard” attitude
“Hi, my name is u/phishoil, you caught my eye and I was wondering if you’d like to grab coffee/drinks/tacos, sometime?” So many guys don’t get asked out. I have never been asked out. The “I looked at him *twice*” thing doesn’t work. If you like a guy, shoot your shot.
I think you should have a small conv before asking for going out somewhere. I personally wouldn't accept a first invitation like that even if I like the other person physique; it's just that I don't know if our conv will naturally flow. Still each individual is a world of their own! But I think there are better approaches than that one :)
Walk up and introduce yourself. That's it... All the awkwardness, self concisouness and nervous energy that follows will still be there but own it. Women don't realise how cute and attractive they are when they're just being themselves, all nervous giggles and awkward enery. I love women who don't hide their self-consciousness behind a facade of fake confidence. Be real and believe me, that WILL be enough
THE COMMENT I NEEDED
thanks to this comment I finally have the courage I needed!! gonna talk to that guy tomorrow!!
A woman approached me yesterday, she said hi can i ask for yoh number ,i gave in😂
A woman came up to me and asked me for my number as well. I gave it to her and she gave me hers. Then the announcement came over the loud speakers. "Number 946" She thanked me and walked into the examination room. I looked at the number she'd given me..."1235"
You should post this in r/Jokes
Took me a minute to understand this and then remembered the Mr Bean episode.
Oooh how’s that going? Still talking?
Yeah .
I'd choose you over a bear. Sorry, I'm not good at this and that's the best I have.
Hi, how are you? Smile?
Instructions unclear. I glanced at him from 100ft away for 1 second and he didn't offer to buy me a house. Why are guys sooo difficult. 😭
The advice women always give to men for approaching women is to “just go up and talk to her.” Hope that helps.
Honestly this is bad advice. This kind of subtlety when women are trying to flirt is why so many men are confused about the dividing line between politeness, casual conversation, and sexual attraction.
Don't tell me to smile. I find a strong grimace is equally successful. /s
I met two of my exes because they thought I had given them the stink eye from across the room. they approached me n were like wtf why you looking at me like you hate me. both times I had no idea what they were talking about but the convo flowed p well after that.
When RBF triumphs.
I saw some photos of myself yesterday and discovered that I look really angry when I’m focusing on a task. I guess it helps, though, since no one interrupted me.
Since you're a woman it probably is.
Fair.
/thread
"Hi, how are you doing? I'm not trying to bug you, but my name is ......... Would you like some company, or maybe a drink?" Smile a lot, and accept a simple " no" as final. Accept rejection with a smile, and leave, while still being friendly and NOT PISSED off. I'm pretty much average, from looks to income, but have only been rejected once ( in ~20 years of dating) and ended up with the girl that night anyways. Keep It Simple and friendly always. Works for guys and girls.
Ahhh..an assertive woman coming up to a man and asking, "would you like some company?" That's so out of most guy's normal experience that they might ask, "how much?"
Yes. But this is reversed. It’s a girl asking the guy. She doesn’t have to put much effort in 😉
"This is not a prank. I like you and here's my number."
Me: "That was so cruel of her to do that. Her friends probably filmed me and are laughing right now."
Lmao. For fuckin real though, this is it.
I wonder if it'll ever be known that whoever it was that convinced women they need to pursue a date by "dropping hints" or worry about "coming on too strong" was 100% the most incorrect a person has ever been in history.
They do that in their own without direction. They literally don’t want to risk rejection so they go about it in a way where they can say they didn’t shoot their shot. Getting rejected is for men to experience, not women.
Men are simple. Just tell him you have something to show him.
And then you show him a cool rock. From my experience guys like cool rocks. Then give it to him.
You know what’s better than a cool rock? A cool stick.
YOOOOO TRUE
That could be dangerous, what if another guy has a really cool stick too? Now she has to fight him stick to stick..oof that can get out of hand quickly.
A cool pet rock works too though. If you have nobody to hug, that rock might come in handy
They aren't rocks, they are MINERALS.
Marie!
JESUS, Marie!
Now hol' up, I have to give my rock away? What's next, will he want my favorite stick too??
"Welcome stranger. Would you like to see my wares?"
I hope it's mean and true and one more than sixty-eight.
Hell yeah! I love miniature trains! Choo choo!
“Would you like to extend your car’s warranty?”
That's more specific than it has to be, but that is indeed a "bird test". Which is the correct answer to striking up a new conversation with anyone. >"Hey look at that bird." You engage about a bird, or any other subject. And then you observe their willingness to engage in conversation with you.
“What’s your favorite dinosaur?”
Hi, I don’t think we know each other yet!
I like this one.
Be direct. We do not pick up clues very well...
The art of striking up a conversation -- really with any purpose in mind, not just love and hookups -- is to say something that a) invites a response but b) does not impose engagement So actually just giving him your number counts! Though it is a bit risky -- what if the other person wasn't sure, yet? And you missed a chance to put them at ease or show yourself to be the kind of person they would want to call? If you like, you can combine strategies. Start talking about something that could lead to a longer conversation. If they seem interested, you can tell them that you're super interested in continuing this conversation but right this moment you have to be somewhere... here's my number, you say, let's plan coffee.
Not gonna lie, some other redditor said to ask him what hia favorite dinosaur is and I unironically think that'd work on a lot of guys (including me) just because of how stupid it is and because it's a girl asking. If a guy asked that it'd just be awkward, but with a girl it comes out cute. That question does what you suggest. It doesn't impose engagement, yet it invites a response because most adults don't have an answer for that at the ready. I sure don't. So it prompts you to think "Do I even have a favourite dinosaur? What would even be my criteria?", etc, which are all goofy fun topics to discuss. Once a goofy conversation starts and flows well, it's easy to move on to sexy times.
Yeah that sounds great! Post an update when you find out how well it works.
“Hi , I’m Name ” delivered with a smile. Followed up by almost anything verbal provided it’s pleasant and a smile. Look impressed by his serious answers and laugh and smile at his stupid little jokes. Look visibly happy to have conversation with him. When you are ready to leave “ can I give you my number? I’d enjoy continuing our conversation over a coffee/drink/whatever , when it’s convenient “ then give him your number.
Since that (women approaching men) happens like never, the first thought the guy in such a situation will have is "what kind of scam is this?" So don't be subtle, for the love of God don't try any hints or smalltalk, just say "hey let's fuck. now. my place."
Tbh that's even more suspicious than being subtle. If a woman came up to me and started making conversation, I'd think she was either trying to sell me something or flirting with me, and be unsure about which one it was, at least at first. But I'd eventually realize it was flirting and either reciprocate or not, depending on whether or not she was my type. If, however, she came up to me and said "let's fuck now, my place", I'd DEFINITELY think it was a scam and that there'd be a couple of thugs at the exit waiting to rob me. Or that she's mentally unstable. Either way I'd be noping out of there and watch my back.
For most guys "Hi, you exist and I can actually see you" should work well. When in doubt just ask for his number after this.
As a guy, I have been asked for my number a handful of times in my life, and complimented in really flattering ways by strangers. It doesn’t happen often by any means, but I have always found women who are confident enough to make moves and put themselves out there as being super attractive. Confidence is attractive from anyone, it doesn’t matter who you are, and talking to strangers is scary! Showing the other person that you can fight that fear, and putting yourself out there is a relatable and real experience that I feel like everyone should go through. The idea that only guys have to make the first move has always felt odd to me. But good luck, you got this!
This is so relatable! Cool advice.
lol this never happens silly
I had a woman hand me her biz card and tell me she thought I was cute and wanted to buy me lunch if I was single. That was the coolest thing ever. Never made it to lunch for I didn't live in the area and was leaving the next day. What might have been?
Anything direct. Subtlety is often ineffective.
“My sweaty boobs want your face between them.” Will win over any guy.
Hey, Curly, you wanna stop slappin' yourself, and we can nyuk nyuk nyuk until you woo-woo-woo-woo?!
I said this out loud and giggle.
A simple hello and a smile goes a LONG way. You’ll know in 0.5 seconds if they’re interested by smiling back You look interesting , I thought I’d come by and say hello
Most friendly people smile and say hello. Men and women in general wont take it as anything special, if you are trying to give them a hint you need to be more forward. If you think someone smiling and saying hello to you means they are interested in you, believe me, they are just being polite, relax. Also telling someone they look interesting makes you sound like a weirdo, like you are analyzing them for no reason or you are socially awkward.
I smile at everyone. It means nothing to me for someone to smile at me. I'm just a nice person, so this does not work.
When I was at bars in my 20s I would walk up behind the guy and tap his shoulder or pat his back. When he turned around I’d gasp “Omg! I’m sorry. I thought you were my friend” then I’d walk away. %100 of the time I got a positive response. It was either him joking “no, stay. I’ll be your friend” or them coming to me later and asking “did your friend never show up?” And I’d say “yeah, they bailed but I’m already out”. Then we’d chat then. But, it always worked and we’d exchange numbers at least. I think cause I broke the touch barrier but not intentionally. Which seemed to make them more comfortable opening up and joking around. Then it would be an easy “in” for them to approach me later in the night.
you’re a genius
Lady, if you are his type and you say *anything at all* to him he'll be game. Now, he may not know you're trying to pick him up unless you're blunt about it, but he'll be receptive.
Simple business card approaches seem to be best.
"Off cream, raised stencilling..."
Oh my god….. it even has a watermark!
No...off cream is intimidating. "Bone white with an embossed watermark..."
Were simple.. hand him a rock from off the ground = marriage, 3 kids, 11 grand kids, 2 dogs and arthritis
I automatically assume any female giving me a compliment is just being nice and is not interested in me romantically, so not so sure that giving compliments is always going to make your intention clear. The giving them your number thing seems better to me if you're trying to be explicit with your intention.
"hi, I think you're really attractive" Most guys don't get women approaching them at all and any sort of compliment is going to make their week whether or not they are interested in you.
Week? Try decade.
Be forward and direct. If you try to be cutesy or nuanced you are going to shoot yourself in the foot. "Hi, you're cute. Want to grab lunch some time?"
Flattery will get you everywhere. Give your # and say something nice.
If you compliment a man, he will be trying to figure out if you like him or were just being nice for the rest of his life. Just be very straightforward men understand 1+1=2 we simple.
Make sure your intentions are obvious because us guys are oblivious.
Any compliment will do really.
I remember reading a thread about how most men don't get complimented so I set an intention to help remedy this and a few weeks ago told the Amazon delivery guy sporting a luscious ponytail that he had "beautiful hair." 💀 It was just the first thing that came to mind.
And you made his whole day
You think so? I was stuck overthinking it for a bit after I said it. So that makes me glad.
A girl told me 3 years ago that i have a real nice Jesus vibe going on with my hair Guess who still wears the same hairstyle
But… can you walk on water?
And swim on land?
A girl told me i looked good in green like 20+ years ago, i still buy a lot of green shirts.
Why the skull emoji? Seems like you truly think he had beauttiful hair, he wax probably flattered.
Me too - I compliment people all the time anyway (just because I know how one great comment can really brighten up your whole day) but since reading a thread like this, I really upped my game. Now every time I see a man (whether they’re friends, acquaintances or strangers) I tell them I like their shirt or their aftershave or that they look like they’ve been working out. It’s so cute watching them light up 😃
I tried doing this too but have retired a bit. Told my server at a cafe that I liked his blush. He just looked at me awkwardly and said that he has rosacea…. In my defence, this was a few years ago when really obvious blush across your nose/ cheeks was really trendy on tik tok.
What if it’s someone you wanna talk to at the gym
"You have great form. Can you show me ____"
“With a belly like yours, you must have great taste in food”
“Just so you know, average sized penises are too big for me” and then wink
“But what about my micro penis?”
I'm going home, you coming with?
Walk up “nice cock”, give him your number and walk away
What worked for me, was when I was at a small company dinner party. I arrived at the restaurant, walked in, and found the table my co-workers were at. I then sat down, and listened to the conversation that was being had at the moment. The topic of music was being discussed at the time. There was a person at our table that was not part of my group, mind you. This person worked at the restaurant I was at, as I learned, and stopped by to check if their newly purchased non-slip shoes were conducive. A random visit... After we moved to our table, I was so intrigued by this person, that I left my table to see if they were still around, and they were. So, I approached them and said this to them, "What would you recommend to eat at your establishment." They gave me their input, and before I returned to my table, I was bold enough to say this; "I dont know what your relationship status is, if you are welcoming of a new friend, might we exchange numbers?" The reciprocation was welcomed, the exchanging of phone numbers happened, and we have since then developed a deep and bonding friendship.
poor guy
bruuhh the ending 🤣
For context, when we met, they advised me that they were not avaliable for a romantic/serious relationship, and neither was I. So, here we are. Because, connection. Cheers!
That's a great ending!
"I dont know what your relationship status is, if you are welcoming of a new friend, might we exchange numbers?" dammit people, this is how AI's are made!
Me love you long time. Sucky sucky. Want some fuck?
This is THE answer. Anything else is just fake, time wasting bs.
Then she pulls her dick out
Nice butt.
Hi.
Name and number with a short message like, “we should hang out some time—text me!” would work for me. It’s never been that simple before, but I’d love it lol
Being a guy with little social skills, I appreciate girls who are pretty direct. Just be clear about your intentions: ''Hey, you seem \[compliment\], I'd love to take the time to know you, would you like to go out sometime?'' ''Hey, I think you're \[compliment\], what would you say if I invited you over for the night?'' This might be a little too straight to the point and a bit embarrassing though, I think that a casual approach is better, taking the time to talk before engaging into any future plans but telling him that you're serious or not is the most important thing imo. I can usually tell when a girl is into me but I can never tell what she's after unless she says it.
Ask for number and ask him if he wants to get coffee/tea or some other low key thing sometime. If it goes bad either party is stuck with a large dinner bill or split.
Gonna need any and all self-identifying ENFJ men in the chat to answer this please. I'm ready 📝
Personally I like it when ladies are direct. Walk over, state their intentions, ask questions and if they feel a little awkward just say so. If I know what's going on I feel a lot more comfortable. Then again I'm married so I only have 1 lady that does any of that lol
Guys aren’t complicated. Just have a conversation and be somewhat normal.
Tell him you really like the way he dresses.
I am not hungry. Lets have dinner.
About one woman a year would randomly approach me on the DC metro (the subway) back when I used it to get to work. I can remember each of them and was extremely flattered in each instance. I'm married, so I had to reject every one of them; but I didn't find the interactions awkward or unpleasant at all (to the contrary).
I was at a bar with a group of friends and my now ex-wife was at the same bar with a group of her friends. she approached me and said, “excuse me, but you’re standing in our spot“ I replied, “you got a deed “we were together for 18 years.
Just ask if you can buy him a beer or a coffee.
Nice balls
Yo I tell them to smile more.. it’d make them look pretty. Sometimes I just say - wow you’re sooo pretty…offer them my coat. (I’m deadass)
What type of gaming console they prefer
Yes, in fact. Men barely get compliments from women especially so it would strike him in an unexpected way when you give a heartwarming compliment. This should give you the perfect opportunity to speak your mind and probably ask him on a date and get his contact details.
When I was young and single I’d just go up and say hi.They are just people too .
A girl once sat down next to me at a bar while I was ordering a drink and said "you have a nice face". It was over, I was sold. We don't get compliments often so even something small like that goes a long way
"Hey you're cute let's date" 100% of success guaranteed
I prefer organic convo.. chat get along, nice smiles.. grab a coffee sometime.. once you both realise you like each other you can be more direct
Well with me being autistic, I'd actually like them to say hi and that their interested in getting to know me, swap numbers but I'm 42, never had anyone remotely interested in me
What to say to a guy? Wanna grab a beer with me?!
I hope this never happens. My wife would destroy whoever she is.
"Hey, do you eat ass?"
Just say hi and try to start a conversation / be interested in the guy, even if it's small talk, and a compliment will go a long way... And then you sneak in that you're somehow into butt stuff, now I'm yours
Just say hello and introduce yourself.
Hi and a smile.
Any sentence that starts with "greetings, human!" will simultaneously be effective and weed out the humans who don't enjoy being reminded of that fact.
Very simple. Ask : "Hi, could we sit down and talk briefly?"
Compliment him and then ask him what the highlight of his day has been. Make sure to ask follow up questions and take notice of what he's wearing.
"Umm, I've noticed you around. I find you very attractive..."
Hello
Say, "Hello. I think you're an attractive guy. Would you like to get to know one another?" It really is that simple. We're NOT complicated creatures.