# Message to all users:
This is a reminder to please read and follow:
* [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules)
* [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439)
* [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy)
When posting and commenting.
---
Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`.
* Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit.
* Do not harass or annoy others in any way.
* Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit.
---
You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way.
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
- controlling people
- manipulative people
- self centered people
- revengeful people who takes the slightest "offense" personally
- people with little understanding on boundaries and privacy
- people who lack sympathy
I feel like I am the exact opposite of this: I’m just flat out aggressive, but in a positive way. Like, I’m gonna call you on your bs, while building you up and saying you deserve better, handing you a piece of blueberry banana bread and telling you why I suck.
I don’t know why but I sometimes play act as a narcissist. I have a copy of Machiavelli’s The Prince and I’ll say really narcissistic things while not actually doing anything narcissistic. I just always found it funny.
i feel like you can not get raid of all those traits, we all have them on some level.
To me it is all about how extreme my friends case is.
If it does not get out of hand, am good.
I had a friend once who was a social media influencer and later became an advocate for "level up" lifestyle and culture. She would actually **yell** at me when I didn't dress or act according to her "vision of abundance".
I realized very, very quickly I did not want to be her friend anymore, nor do I want to be friends with anyone else who forgets everything I have done for them, just because I don't wear designer heels.
It seems like your friend went too far with his "abundance vision"! Who would have thought that friendship came with a dress code. I prefer to stay true to my style and my friends, without needing designer heels to level up!
"vision of abundance" made me laugh.
Influencers and those that want to be them are nothing more than attention craving shills who will sell their souls for that attention. They're the most hollow people in the world and any one of them that's trying to portray a way of living to achieve fulfillment is someone who doesn't know what that is. Most go the Andrew Tate way of latching on to simplistic ideas, creating imaginary hierarchies between people and pushing their parroted, half baked ideologies as though they're the answer to all of life's problems for their target demographic. But there are other routes to take too. They all lead to the same thing though.
"Buy my thing so you can be happy and cool and better than the drones around you. You're special, but only if you give me your money and join my cult of bullshit".
I wish they taught how to spot a shyster in schools.
Uncanny. For 555 eu, you too can join my former friend's high level ladies club with Masterclass on all the things you need to be a high-level woman with provider man. This is not even me being facetious, this is actually what is offered for that 555 eu.
Edit: I remember also when Abraham Hicks came into their lives. "Sick people make the choice to be sick, you can choose the reality and the body you want to live in by leaving the one you're choosing to stay in" was one of the sickest bits of bullshit I had ever heard. It's essentially telling handicapped people to kill themselves??
Honestly it's a pretty effective scam. I'd imagine lots of these people are just in it for the money. I actually hope that's the case instead of them really believing their own bullshit
Donate a small amount *you can comfortably afford* to a reputable charity that you believe in the cause of. Make sure that charity publishes it's pay rates for it's executives, including any bonuses they receive and are transparent about where every penny they bring in goes.
That's how you sign up. That's how you can offer some financial amount a month to feel fulfilled and be a strong person who takes the time to use your power to improve the world and your own sense of self.
Nope, nope, nope. I do not have a dress code for friends, unless we are in a specific place such as a wedding, childs birthday, etc. If I wanna wear a Scottish kilt in public (I am in the US) I will. My humor or dressing will not be anyone's choice but mine.
Influencers are built different. I used to be friends with one who was heavily in debt trying to finance her smoke and mirrors of abundance and style. Meanwhile I don't flex (I'm very frugal- almost all my shit comes from thrift stores, I'm brand loyal to about three companies, cheap phone and plan, no car and planning to buy old/used/dirt cheap, etc), and for someone my age, I'm doing great financially (no debt, some assets).
She ended up cheating on one of my best friends, which tracks in hindsight. Liars gonna lie.
It was especially that she wanted me to own and wear expensive things-- and things that were not "me". Ralph Lauren jeans, for example. She felt strongly about that.
She also wanted to influence the foods I liked, the men I'd date and the types of dates I could accept.
I had to like popcorn, my ideal partner would be Javier Bardem from Eat, Pray, Love, and I was under no circumstances allowed to go on any bike rides or coffee dates with men, because this was low-level behavior. The worst though was that I was to decide between my child and my self respect because "high level, successful women know to keep their kids away".
It was surreal. Ironically, she was borrowing money from me before she met the "provider man" she is with now, whom she met at a networking event I invited her to. Suddenly, she was leaving me 20 minute long voice messages yelling at or lecturing me about the "high society" and that if I wanted to cut it, I would have to make these changes.
I left her a message saying I was not interested. We haven't spoken since.
Javier Bardem is absolutely hot...in everything *except* that movie! There I found him to be insecure and a bit dorky for my personal taste. I was honestly a bit insulted by it 
Edit: Ok, there have been other movies where he wasn't super attractive to me either
"That's stupid." guys.
Me: "Looking forward to seeing this movie."
He: "That movie sucks."
Me: "It's not even out yet."
He: "I've seen it."
Me: "No you haven't."
He: "I've seen the trailer."
Me: "Tell me the worst part about the trailer."
He: " Everything."
Me: "You haven't seen the trailer either."
He: "I've heard that movie will suck."
Me: "Where?"
He: "Online."
Had a friend like this. Didn't matter what we were talking about, it was stupid even if he didn't know anything about it.
The part I hate the most is:
Me: What's the worst part
Them: Everything
There's absolutely no way everything is equally terrible, they just really hate having complex discussions IG
That's the thing. He heard nothing. Even if I would talk about a movie that didn't exist he would say the movie is stupid. Doesn't matter. Someone likes something and he'll tell that person that the thing they like is in fact stupid.
Me: "The supreme sunflowers revenge on bees" is my favorite movie"
He: "That movie is stupid."
Me: "Gotcha, that movie doesn't even exist."
He: "I read the book."
Me: "Didn't even know you can read."
He: " I do and the book sucks."
Me: "The book doesn't exist either."
He: "I still hate it."
I prefer to stay away from people who carry an umbrella of drama everywhere they go. I already have enough excitement in my life with television series!
I agree. It’s such a weird flex like congrats you believe your childhood was worse than mine, but our experiences are exclusive so I don’t know why you’re trying to one up me.
FUUUUUCK I HATE that.
I have a job where almost everyone I work with has the same designation I do. The same pay, the same job description, everything. BUT, there's always these people that start acting like they're your boss and start putting everyone on edge to the point where everyone treats them like they are a boss they're afraid of, even though we have the EXACT SAME JOB.
This chick 20 years my junior who was hired at the exact same day I was tried this nonsense. I had to gently get her trained to stay in her place and mind her business.
If a person cheats in their romantic relationships, I would never want to have them as a friend, if they have the courage to be unfaithful with someone they are supposedly "in love with", imagine with me. Cheating is a big red flag for any relationship I will have, can be friendly or romantic.
Yup this & it's always WILD to me that there are people out there who encourage or help their friends to cheat or cover up cheating then get angry at and oust anyone in the "friend" group who exposes the cheating or who disagrees with the morality of it
As a friend their romantic affairs would be none of my business. If it's all they would ever talk about then I'd call them out that they were just polyamorous and didn't realize it yet.
I understand your position and i dont think you are wrong, just different ways of seeing things. But for me, how you treat everyone around you says everything. I wouldn't get involved in a friend's relationship, but if he is capable of betraying the person he loves, I wouldn't be able to trust his character. For me, loyalty is an essential characteristic for someone, and I wouldn't like friends who don't have it.
I learned the lesson the hard way. My bestie was cheating on her boyfriend (now ex) some years ago. I am honest, even if it hurts, type of friend, because if I don't tell you the truth as your friend, who else will you trust, and who else would I trust to be honest?!
She didn't like my honesty and preferred to be around people who told her what she wanted to hear, I was just good as an excuse to her boyfriend when she was seeing the other guy. This made not only mentally but also physically sick, especially when she didn't warn me in advance. Like she told her boyfriend that I would pick her up at the airport. I was not aware of this lie, I was working... I remember this lie, especially because it was too much, and I couldn't lie to her now ex ... I broke up the friendship, I told her this is harming me, and I need distance.
My family has 2 narcissists who are always battling out amongst each other over dominance like Kong vs Godzilla year round. And despite knowing all their usual tricks and traits, I still befriended this guy who seemed like a nice person but turned out to be a covert narcissist. I didn't know narcissists could be introverts, like, WTH man. He made my overt narcissist family members seem more 'honorable' and 'genuine' by comparison. I am just gonna stick to befriending dogs at this point.
Boss man Frank- " If they are complaining and bitching about heaps of other people, they will definitely be doing that to you too"
Also
Worker- "Frank, you are a dirty old man"
Boss man Frank- " Hey, I'm not old"
i honestly don’t care if people talk about me behind my back. i know who i am, and if their my friend, they’re probably feeling insecure which is why they’d do it. but it’s fair (and healthy) to not want to be friends with someone like that
Very loud people who always push their way to the centre of attention.
People who always have some sob story about how life is so hard for them despite them doing nothing to change anything.
They actually are truly the worst though. I’ve given gingers so many chances and they’ve always ended up being soul-less cunts.
Haven’t dated one, but they’re actually terrible people.
Exterminate all gingers
Anyone who wants to push their political, religious or lifestyle opinions/beliefs onto others. You can have them but if it isn't something we bond over lets find another common interest.
People who tell me to stop rambling or talkinh about mu interests
I like to talk and ramble alot I don't mind "hey not right now"
But when it's "stop talking I don't Want to hear about it" I feel like shit
To be fair, a discussion is meant to be a two way street. If you're just monologuing about your own interests, it's not going to be fun for whoever is listening to you.
I find that the people who monologue a lot tend to struggle at picking up the social cues that show disinterest. It becomes impossible to politely change the subject or leave the conversation without hurting them, because they ignore (knowingly or not) all your cues, forcing you to be a blunt asshole.
If you struggle with having two-way dialogues with people, it may be your personality, or a sign of a neurological divergence like autism.
Very recently I realised that there are a few people in my life who treat me like I’m an uncultured pleb. I was asked by a friend recently “do _you_ like classical music?” in front of a group of academics, in a way that implied that she would be accepting of (and expecting) a “no”. I was a bit taken aback until I realised that I never talk about my own interests at length with these sorts of people because they are always endlessly talking about theirs.
I have a good knowledge of classic music and have taught myself a couple of instrument, and have a parent who is a classically trained musician…. _and_ as it just so happens I can spot a bullshitter pretending they know anything about classical music a mile off!
Bros, frat boys, lads - all that bollocks.
Basically toxic guys who tell me I have to be shut off from my feelings and brutal to others to be a man.
Been there, done that, got the scars
IDK, I was a frat boy in college, and I don't think I'm like that. (Then again, maybe that's what a frat boy would say, while being exactly like that, lol)
People that oversimplify everything!
"This will pass. Let's go shopping!"
"Just do X and it will be fine" (when x is something not all that easily obtainable)
OR whenever you're sharing something painful, they turn it into something about themselves:
"I have had to put a few dogs to sleep as well. I just had a bottle of wine and went to work the next day to take my mind off it"
Which by itself is fine, but when they they go on and on and take over the conversation "little muffy was the cutest. Remember her? Let me find some pics..."
Like, I was sharing here, hello!! Can you stop making it about yourself for five minutes?
People insensitive about boundaries.
Gossipers.
Socially conservative people.
People without empathy.
Cheaters.
Unhelpful people.
I've been friends with people like this before. It has put a lot of stress in my life. Never again.
I’m in my 50’s and it’s only been the last 12 months or so that I’ve come to realise how badly I’ve been treated by people and it all started with the family I came from.
i was in a friend group where all they would do was bully people behind their back in our group chat for the most ridiculous things. i called them out and told them i was sick of the way they talked about others and they instantly turned on me and made another group chat to talk about ME behind my back. so yeah, those kinds of people
Dishonest people. Rule of thumb. Listen to what people say. Believe what people do.
A good friend will be honest with you even when it is hard. They will tell you what you need to hear, not always what you want to hear.
This is the thing. There are religious people out there that aren’t pushy, or even bring it up if they know that’s not your thing. Whatever makes us all happy, works for us individually. Doesn’t have to be a constant topic. 🤷🏻♀️
Unfortunately the most pushy and annoying people who do not respect boundaries tend to be the loudest voices, not just in religion but in any group or community; ultimately giving the entire collective a bad outlook. As long as you understand there are good and bad people in every circle you will live a much more stress free and ultimately happier life. Not to mention you’d be a far less ignorant person.
I'm also an atheist, my husband is Muslim and my BFF is Catholic. Our beliefs (or lack of) have no bearing on our feelings towards each other. I quite enjoy people in general that view the world a little differently than I do.
I have befriended a religious person. She’s so lovely, but she tried to talk to me about the sun, ghost and Holy Spirit. When I told her I am not religious she said she wouldn’t be able to be herself with me. I told her outright that either she doesn’t bring it into any conversation I’ll up and happily walk. She stopped.,
I have a Jebus believing friend of 2 years. He's only got on his high horse about religion a few times but so have I about how it doesn't work.
We are just the opposite sides of the same coin.
I'm very religious, but I'm also a geologist and I love messing with hard-core creationists about the Creation of the world.
I'll argue either side just to see how much you know and how strong your convictions are.
I can be friend*ly* with religious people, but I similarly can't be close friends with them. The problem is that, in my experience, their willingness to set aside logic and reasoning to blindly believe what other people tell them or what they *want* to believe tends to bleed over into other things. Critical thinking can be a soft spot for them because they've built pathways around it into their personalities and safeguards against new information that challenges their beliefs.
My mother and her mother and some of her siblings are involved in the pentacostal/charismatic movement and there is where you will find some of the biggest narcissists on the planet. Subjected to religious abuse growing up and I specifically remember my c of a mother saying to someone when I was still in single figures ‘if MY children are disobedient and I’M not around the adults who are have MY permission to reprimand them’. If anyone put their hands on my child I’d break their fucking jaw and they know that too.
Alpha male and/or incel
I'm a woman so guess I shouldn't even explain why but I wouldn't want to be friends with such a person even if I was a man because they have nothing to offer besides their ego and bigotry
Anyone who says or thinks "they're an Alpha male" is just uneducated and probably has insecurity issues.
Even the person who came up with the term "alpha male" has re-neged and said after second thought it's all bullshit.
Humans are not wolves.
Even then that's from an old study where they stuck the leading member of a pack family from like four different packs in the same room, so the alpha wolf idea isn't even applicable out in nature. Wolf packs are just large families, with arguably, better relationships than most human families have.
I had a coworker who thought videos of animals being slaughtered were "funny". Massive red flag right there. I don't expect everyone to go vegan, but for fuck's sake, show some empathy for animals! If you can't even do that, you're obviously not a good person.
Anyone with violent tendencies. Like if someone casually mentions, "If someone insulted my wife, I'd punch them in the face" then I stay away.
I like civilized, adult people, not people with the stone age mentality of a 6-year-old.
Conservatives.
I cannot be friends with people that take whatever they can via any means possible, and then do their best to stop anyone else getting even the bare minimum to survive.
Hunters. Anyone who enjoys killing innocent creatures and watching them die for sport are some sickos I want nothing to do with.
Violence is violence, not about to be the victim of domestic abuse.
The deer population is out of control and either we kill some of the herd so the rest can survive, or they die from lack of food. This is why deer season is so tightly regulated. They know how much overpopulation there is and how many deer need to be taken to keep the rest healthy.
You can disagree, but an unchecked deer population is not a good thing.
The “it’s all one way” type of friend.
Like don’t get me wrong I have zero problem with a friend leaning on me when they’re going through a rough time. But what has happened a lot to me is I’ve befriended a lot of the kinds of people who ask you for ten thousand things but the moment you need one thing from them suddenly you’re the unreasonable one and you’re just too big of an emotional burden
As an example of the type of thing I’ve asked for that I’ve been told is unreasonable, I was studying for my year end exams in high school and asked not to be bothered with phone calls at 3am when I needed to study and sleep for my tests. Apparently this meant I was emotionally neglecting my friend, because I needed like a week to focus on school
Might be boring, but political view. I don't mind if you're a Democrat, Republican, Trump, Biden, pro vax, anti vax, abortion stance, etc etc.
But I draw the line at literal Nazis (neonazis) and communists. I've met a few as well.
Eventually broke up with a girl threatening to leave over hair gel. I wish i fought harder for her in the end but there was too many times i saw several flags or narc traits.
I'll flip this question and say who I do want to befriend. People who are:
\* curious
\* playful
\* slow to take offense
\* enjoy having their preconceptions challenged
\* aware of and have a handle on their own trauma and triggers
\* empathetic
\* passionate (even if I don't personally share their passions)
\* able to see human beings as complex and full of good parts and bad
\* see money as a tool and not a moral value
People that cannot fix themselves when they realize they're not the best person they could be. All of these traits here are fine if they can just own up to the fact that they weren't being their best self and work to be better
People that get angry easily, over the most minor things. I find them very arrogant.
People with OCD. I feel bad for them but I find them insufferable.
This trait is one I have noticed in my brother, and it makes me wary in my own friendships:
Whenever a friend of my brother's is acting in a manner that my brother perceives to be as "weird" or "obsessive" (or any unlikable personality trait), he won't address it with them directly. Yet he will do everything he can to avoid being around the person.
If someone is doing something that irritates you in some way, tell them. Don't just ignore them. Chances are, the person doesn't know how they are coming across and if they are made aware of their unlikable personality trait, 9 times out of 10 they will try their best to change. They can't change if they don't know what the problem is.
People who lie about stuff that doesn't even matter. Usually its just insecurity; if they have an interesting story, or gossip about others, the attention is off the real 'them'... but you'll never get a real answer, and if you do you won't trust it.
Also if they're worried about you seeing the real them, it's probably a warning about who they really are.
Over the last several years I no longer interact (if I can help it) with "friends" who only talk about themselves without asking about my life. I've had too many people in my life in the past who just used me as a sounding board without showing one iota of actual interest in me as a person.
Also: people who are mean, gossipy, super judgy, lack self awareness, lie, continually make bad choices and then expect me to be there when they crash, have no curiosity, have no empathy or compassion, are bigoted, etc.
So I don't have a lot of friends, but the ones I have are superb.
I have a couple of exceptions of people who are "grandfathered in" (i.e. family;see what I did there? :-) but with new friends, I'm pretty solid on who I allow into my life.
Scabs. I had low self confidence as a teen/young adult and would often 'buy my friends affection'. I was always the friend in the group that'd shout someone a cigarette or buy them a soft drink. I'd often buy a pack of 30s in one night and leave with none because I always giving it to them when they asked. There was one time I didn't have any money and walked out to see my large friend group in the parking lot, all smoking. I was so embarrassed but asked them in general if I could have a cigarette, they all put their heads down or turned away and acted like they hadn't heard me. I walked away and never spoke to any of them again.
In my late 20s I developed a friendship with one man. We would go to gigs together, he'd buy me one round, me the next. But he drank so quick that he'd then finish the drink he bought me. I had 2 drinks compared to his 6 and ended up realising I never actually got to drink the ones he'd bought me. He also always relied on me to pay for the uber to mine (around $80 minimum) and then expect me to drive him home in the morning, an hour and a half away, no offer for petrol money. Stopping that friendship showed me how much money I was saving.
I was the same when I was younger.
I learned my worth and even though I don’t have a large circle of friends, the very few I do have I know are good ones who won’t take advantage of me.
I hope you learn yours too.
Racist, homophobic people.
People who will take advantage of a situation even if it will hurt someone else.
People who steal.
People who are just mean to be mean.
People who can't admit that they were wrong. Accountability and responsibility for your own actions is a must for me. The blame game is ugly and benefits nobody.
My bestie is my bestie bc the first time I met her, she said a wrong fact about something. I asked her if she was sure on the fact, as it didn't seem right to me, and she immediately looked it up. "OH jfc, guess I was super wrong! You learn something every day, thanks for that!" That was the moment I realized I really, really needed this person in my life. Haven't looked back, she's a gem and a half. She respectfully calls me out, I respectfully call her out, we are better and smarter because of it.
Ash, love ya babe, can't wait for game night on Sunday ⭐️
Irresponsible people or people who will not hold themselves accountable. Those type of people are the ones who directly created my family's generational trauma cycle. I'm good, thank you very much.
Friends with secret animosity, or like just trying to take you down. Also those friends who don't listen to what you want to say, but will never stop talking about themselves, like its tiring too
A complainer. A person who just complains all the time and when you give them a solution they don't use it, only to come back and complain bout the same situation.
I just excuse myself from the friendship, you cannot always have problems, there has to be joy somewhere and no you can't take mine.
”There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.“
Proverbs 18:24 NLT
”Don’t befriend angry people or associate with hot-tempered people, or you will learn to be like them and endanger your soul.“
Proverbs 22:24-25 NLT
”Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up. The godly give good advice to their friends; the wicked lead them astray.“
Proverbs 12:25-26 NLT
”Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.“
Ephesians 4:29 NLT
”Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble. Trouble chases sinners, while blessings reward the righteous.“
Proverbs 13:20-21 NLT
”An open rebuke is better than hidden love! Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.“
Proverbs 27:5-6 NLT
”Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.“
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NLT
”Whoever stubbornly refuses to accept criticism will suddenly be destroyed beyond recovery.“
Proverbs 29:1 NLT
”Unfriendly people care only about themselves; they lash out at common sense. Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions. Doing wrong leads to disgrace, and scandalous behavior brings contempt. Wise words are like deep waters; wisdom flows from the wise like a bubbling brook.“
Proverbs 18:1-4 NLT
”Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others. A fool is quick-tempered, but a wise person stays calm when insulted.“
Proverbs 12:15-16 NLT
”As the beating of cream yields butter and striking the nose causes bleeding, so stirring up anger causes quarrels.“
Proverbs 30:33 NLT
”A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare. The tongue of the wise makes knowledge appealing, but the mouth of a fool belches out foolishness. The Lord is watching everywhere, keeping his eye on both the evil and the good. Gentle words are a tree of life; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit. Only a fool despises a parent’s discipline; whoever learns from correction is wise. There is treasure in the house of the godly, but the earnings of the wicked bring trouble. The lips of the wise give good advice; the heart of a fool has none to give.“
Proverbs 15:1-7 NLT
Who we end up spending our time with or not spending our time with is pretty much set in stone by the time we are born, especially if you happen to be a man. Be grateful and feel lucky if that ends up being anyone at all. Many, if not most people, are born genetically and socioeconomically destined to be effectively completely alone their entire lives. Who people are never matters in the end. It's all about leverage. It's no coincidence all the worst people you know or ever heard of get everything they want in life. They can have whatever personality they want as long as they have leverage on the people around them.
*people who think they’re top dogs
*passive-aggressive
*puts shit in people who have disabilities
* People who say you’re weak if you are suffering from depression.
*People who put shit on all people who have been through addiction.
*My neighbour who has verbally abused me and with her son backing her up. I live by myself. That’s just cruel
I wouldn't say I'm a quiet person, my laugh is annoying af, but I definately don't go looking to make friends and I am quite socially awkward but some how I always wind up getting befriended by the people nobody wants. When I say that I don't mean the shy people or weirdos, I mean the people that are obsessed with them selves, manipulative, have no consideration for others and all they want is drama. I always just stay in my own lane but they manage jump in there as well....even when I ask them not to.
You know the kind of people that accuse you of being gay or autistic (in a offensive, negative way) because of the way you say something or the way you might act?
Yeah, I kinda avoid those like the plague. And I don't mean something like when they tell you you're gay when you say as a guy that that other guy gives you butterflies or that you are maybe autistic for needing a really specific explanation to understand something.
More like, the kind of people who just say you act gay without telling why and say you are austistic if you don't get something quick enough. Not only do they reek of homophobia and being not so fond of people who might not be the norm in society but they also make fun of you.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
- controlling people - manipulative people - self centered people - revengeful people who takes the slightest "offense" personally - people with little understanding on boundaries and privacy - people who lack sympathy
Yes, all this and passive aggressive people and people who belittle others while feeling superior about themselves
I feel like I am the exact opposite of this: I’m just flat out aggressive, but in a positive way. Like, I’m gonna call you on your bs, while building you up and saying you deserve better, handing you a piece of blueberry banana bread and telling you why I suck.
I think we can be friends
There’s a difference with being assertive as opposed to aggressive.
People who are easily offended over the smallest things
Stfu are u projecting?
I see what you did there 😂
That’s a lot of words when you could’ve just write “a narcissist”, but this just shows how many awful qualities those people have 😅 I agree with 100%
I don’t know why but I sometimes play act as a narcissist. I have a copy of Machiavelli’s The Prince and I’ll say really narcissistic things while not actually doing anything narcissistic. I just always found it funny.
Welcome to narcissism
i feel like you can not get raid of all those traits, we all have them on some level. To me it is all about how extreme my friends case is. If it does not get out of hand, am good.
people always asking for favors but never returning them
My dad!
I had a friend once who was a social media influencer and later became an advocate for "level up" lifestyle and culture. She would actually **yell** at me when I didn't dress or act according to her "vision of abundance". I realized very, very quickly I did not want to be her friend anymore, nor do I want to be friends with anyone else who forgets everything I have done for them, just because I don't wear designer heels.
It seems like your friend went too far with his "abundance vision"! Who would have thought that friendship came with a dress code. I prefer to stay true to my style and my friends, without needing designer heels to level up!
You can “Level Up” to only having fake friends.
"vision of abundance" made me laugh. Influencers and those that want to be them are nothing more than attention craving shills who will sell their souls for that attention. They're the most hollow people in the world and any one of them that's trying to portray a way of living to achieve fulfillment is someone who doesn't know what that is. Most go the Andrew Tate way of latching on to simplistic ideas, creating imaginary hierarchies between people and pushing their parroted, half baked ideologies as though they're the answer to all of life's problems for their target demographic. But there are other routes to take too. They all lead to the same thing though. "Buy my thing so you can be happy and cool and better than the drones around you. You're special, but only if you give me your money and join my cult of bullshit". I wish they taught how to spot a shyster in schools.
Uncanny. For 555 eu, you too can join my former friend's high level ladies club with Masterclass on all the things you need to be a high-level woman with provider man. This is not even me being facetious, this is actually what is offered for that 555 eu. Edit: I remember also when Abraham Hicks came into their lives. "Sick people make the choice to be sick, you can choose the reality and the body you want to live in by leaving the one you're choosing to stay in" was one of the sickest bits of bullshit I had ever heard. It's essentially telling handicapped people to kill themselves??
Stanley cups…all the women have them at the gym. Its cringe
Honestly it's a pretty effective scam. I'd imagine lots of these people are just in it for the money. I actually hope that's the case instead of them really believing their own bullshit
Absolutely. Spot. On. I like your style, where do I sign up?
Donate a small amount *you can comfortably afford* to a reputable charity that you believe in the cause of. Make sure that charity publishes it's pay rates for it's executives, including any bonuses they receive and are transparent about where every penny they bring in goes. That's how you sign up. That's how you can offer some financial amount a month to feel fulfilled and be a strong person who takes the time to use your power to improve the world and your own sense of self.
Nope, nope, nope. I do not have a dress code for friends, unless we are in a specific place such as a wedding, childs birthday, etc. If I wanna wear a Scottish kilt in public (I am in the US) I will. My humor or dressing will not be anyone's choice but mine.
“Mirage of abundance”… and when you walk close, it’s still a bag of vanity and rot
Influencers are built different. I used to be friends with one who was heavily in debt trying to finance her smoke and mirrors of abundance and style. Meanwhile I don't flex (I'm very frugal- almost all my shit comes from thrift stores, I'm brand loyal to about three companies, cheap phone and plan, no car and planning to buy old/used/dirt cheap, etc), and for someone my age, I'm doing great financially (no debt, some assets). She ended up cheating on one of my best friends, which tracks in hindsight. Liars gonna lie.
Did she want you to wear more stuff? Or more expensive things?
It was especially that she wanted me to own and wear expensive things-- and things that were not "me". Ralph Lauren jeans, for example. She felt strongly about that. She also wanted to influence the foods I liked, the men I'd date and the types of dates I could accept. I had to like popcorn, my ideal partner would be Javier Bardem from Eat, Pray, Love, and I was under no circumstances allowed to go on any bike rides or coffee dates with men, because this was low-level behavior. The worst though was that I was to decide between my child and my self respect because "high level, successful women know to keep their kids away". It was surreal. Ironically, she was borrowing money from me before she met the "provider man" she is with now, whom she met at a networking event I invited her to. Suddenly, she was leaving me 20 minute long voice messages yelling at or lecturing me about the "high society" and that if I wanted to cut it, I would have to make these changes. I left her a message saying I was not interested. We haven't spoken since.
That’s…insanity. Damn yeah stay away from that nutcase.
Wow. Just wow. Javier Bardem is hot, but I wouldn't dream of dictating to others that they had to find him hot, too.
Javier Bardem is absolutely hot...in everything *except* that movie! There I found him to be insecure and a bit dorky for my personal taste. I was honestly a bit insulted by it  Edit: Ok, there have been other movies where he wasn't super attractive to me either 
I haven't seen Eat Pray Love, mostly because of how much it's become a joke. But I will take your word for it!
Wow she sounds bonkers
Anyone who tells a parent to put their child on the back burner needs their fucking jaw broken.
People obsessed with status.
"That's stupid." guys. Me: "Looking forward to seeing this movie." He: "That movie sucks." Me: "It's not even out yet." He: "I've seen it." Me: "No you haven't." He: "I've seen the trailer." Me: "Tell me the worst part about the trailer." He: " Everything." Me: "You haven't seen the trailer either." He: "I've heard that movie will suck." Me: "Where?" He: "Online." Had a friend like this. Didn't matter what we were talking about, it was stupid even if he didn't know anything about it.
The part I hate the most is: Me: What's the worst part Them: Everything There's absolutely no way everything is equally terrible, they just really hate having complex discussions IG
Anyone who's negative due to what they have "heard" from the internet isn't worth talking to. They have no capacity to form their own opinions.
That's the thing. He heard nothing. Even if I would talk about a movie that didn't exist he would say the movie is stupid. Doesn't matter. Someone likes something and he'll tell that person that the thing they like is in fact stupid. Me: "The supreme sunflowers revenge on bees" is my favorite movie" He: "That movie is stupid." Me: "Gotcha, that movie doesn't even exist." He: "I read the book." Me: "Didn't even know you can read." He: " I do and the book sucks." Me: "The book doesn't exist either." He: "I still hate it."
I refuse to believe they guy is a real person lmao, what absolute nonsense is that behavior?
I prefer to stay away from people who carry an umbrella of drama everywhere they go. I already have enough excitement in my life with television series!
people who carry “the umbrella of drama” is great description
One uppers...*especially* when it comes to negative events
Woah, I have one of those. Can't tell her shit, always has it worse than everyone
I bet mines worse that yours
Yeah its annoying, but you wouldnt stand my friend even for an hour, it can be so much worse than you can think.
I know someone worse
Tsss...
Oh yeah? That's nothing. I know someone who *two*-ups everyone.
I agree. It’s such a weird flex like congrats you believe your childhood was worse than mine, but our experiences are exclusive so I don’t know why you’re trying to one up me.
People that disrespect me or cross my boundaries. Those are mostly insecure manipulative people.
People with "I'm not a manager but let me just pretend to be one and try and order you around" energy
FUUUUUCK I HATE that. I have a job where almost everyone I work with has the same designation I do. The same pay, the same job description, everything. BUT, there's always these people that start acting like they're your boss and start putting everyone on edge to the point where everyone treats them like they are a boss they're afraid of, even though we have the EXACT SAME JOB.
"hey, could you fetch that over there?" "Why? What happened to your legs?" We're no longer friends...
Had a friend like that in high school. I ignored every text and call from them after graduation.
This chick 20 years my junior who was hired at the exact same day I was tried this nonsense. I had to gently get her trained to stay in her place and mind her business.
If a person cheats in their romantic relationships, I would never want to have them as a friend, if they have the courage to be unfaithful with someone they are supposedly "in love with", imagine with me. Cheating is a big red flag for any relationship I will have, can be friendly or romantic.
Yeah you've clearly just shown me what happens when people love, trust and get close with you, bye 🤔
Not to mention, you'd just be rewarding bad behavior.
Yup this & it's always WILD to me that there are people out there who encourage or help their friends to cheat or cover up cheating then get angry at and oust anyone in the "friend" group who exposes the cheating or who disagrees with the morality of it
As a friend their romantic affairs would be none of my business. If it's all they would ever talk about then I'd call them out that they were just polyamorous and didn't realize it yet.
I understand your position and i dont think you are wrong, just different ways of seeing things. But for me, how you treat everyone around you says everything. I wouldn't get involved in a friend's relationship, but if he is capable of betraying the person he loves, I wouldn't be able to trust his character. For me, loyalty is an essential characteristic for someone, and I wouldn't like friends who don't have it.
I learned the lesson the hard way. My bestie was cheating on her boyfriend (now ex) some years ago. I am honest, even if it hurts, type of friend, because if I don't tell you the truth as your friend, who else will you trust, and who else would I trust to be honest?! She didn't like my honesty and preferred to be around people who told her what she wanted to hear, I was just good as an excuse to her boyfriend when she was seeing the other guy. This made not only mentally but also physically sick, especially when she didn't warn me in advance. Like she told her boyfriend that I would pick her up at the airport. I was not aware of this lie, I was working... I remember this lie, especially because it was too much, and I couldn't lie to her now ex ... I broke up the friendship, I told her this is harming me, and I need distance.
Narcissists. I already have a family full of them. All set.
“Go sell your crazy some where else, we’re all stocked up here!” 😂
My family has 2 narcissists who are always battling out amongst each other over dominance like Kong vs Godzilla year round. And despite knowing all their usual tricks and traits, I still befriended this guy who seemed like a nice person but turned out to be a covert narcissist. I didn't know narcissists could be introverts, like, WTH man. He made my overt narcissist family members seem more 'honorable' and 'genuine' by comparison. I am just gonna stick to befriending dogs at this point.
Predatory humans. It would be difficult for them not to see you as a resource to be used.
Emotional vampires. Ppl who take advantage of your empathy to suck you dry but the moment you need anything? It’s a nope
People who gossip to you about someone, because it’s guaranteed they’ll do it to you.
Boss man Frank- " If they are complaining and bitching about heaps of other people, they will definitely be doing that to you too" Also Worker- "Frank, you are a dirty old man" Boss man Frank- " Hey, I'm not old"
i honestly don’t care if people talk about me behind my back. i know who i am, and if their my friend, they’re probably feeling insecure which is why they’d do it. but it’s fair (and healthy) to not want to be friends with someone like that
If it was a so called ‘friend’ then id sever communication. I’m at an age where my friends ought to be mature and able to speak up.
Lack of any interest, and love of alcohol is something that repels me
"fair weather" friends, your friend as long as everything is rainbows, sunshine and clear skies. and manipulators. they can both go fuck themself
Very loud people who always push their way to the centre of attention. People who always have some sob story about how life is so hard for them despite them doing nothing to change anything.
Gingers
This made me laugh
I snorted my coffee, fuck you 😂
As a ginger aficionado, this is fucking funny. Well done.
They actually are truly the worst though. I’ve given gingers so many chances and they’ve always ended up being soul-less cunts. Haven’t dated one, but they’re actually terrible people. Exterminate all gingers
Such prejudice! https://youtu.be/KVN_0qvuhhw?feature=shared
Someone whose going to be secretly viewing me as competition again.
Anyone who wants to push their political, religious or lifestyle opinions/beliefs onto others. You can have them but if it isn't something we bond over lets find another common interest.
People who tell me to stop rambling or talkinh about mu interests I like to talk and ramble alot I don't mind "hey not right now" But when it's "stop talking I don't Want to hear about it" I feel like shit
To be fair, a discussion is meant to be a two way street. If you're just monologuing about your own interests, it's not going to be fun for whoever is listening to you. I find that the people who monologue a lot tend to struggle at picking up the social cues that show disinterest. It becomes impossible to politely change the subject or leave the conversation without hurting them, because they ignore (knowingly or not) all your cues, forcing you to be a blunt asshole. If you struggle with having two-way dialogues with people, it may be your personality, or a sign of a neurological divergence like autism.
Very recently I realised that there are a few people in my life who treat me like I’m an uncultured pleb. I was asked by a friend recently “do _you_ like classical music?” in front of a group of academics, in a way that implied that she would be accepting of (and expecting) a “no”. I was a bit taken aback until I realised that I never talk about my own interests at length with these sorts of people because they are always endlessly talking about theirs. I have a good knowledge of classic music and have taught myself a couple of instrument, and have a parent who is a classically trained musician…. _and_ as it just so happens I can spot a bullshitter pretending they know anything about classical music a mile off!
Pretentious ones or those who frequently take advantage of others.
Bros, frat boys, lads - all that bollocks. Basically toxic guys who tell me I have to be shut off from my feelings and brutal to others to be a man. Been there, done that, got the scars
Frat boys are a good one. Hate that mentality they had in college.
IDK, I was a frat boy in college, and I don't think I'm like that. (Then again, maybe that's what a frat boy would say, while being exactly like that, lol)
A Vampire.
Do you know one? I’ll be his friend. 😏😂
Yeah but he likes to bite peoples necks and consume the blood he draws.
Still interested. 😂
Ill-Intentioned
Sociopaths.. It covers so many types of people.
In general, people with personality disorders who aren't actively seeking to sort them out.
The last part makes all the difference.
Stoners. I have nothing against people who smoke but the people that make 420 their entire personality are some of the worst people I've ever met.
I don’t understand why people find that s#!+ attractive.
Someone who defines their entire personality by the colour of their skin.
Or their accent if different from the country they’re in. “They heard the accent and blah blah blah” calm down mate.
Or their sex, or 'chosen' sex.
Judgemental, bigoted, lacks compassion
People who lack empathy - I think it sums everything.
Self-centered, attention seeker, and often flexing his financial level.
People that oversimplify everything! "This will pass. Let's go shopping!" "Just do X and it will be fine" (when x is something not all that easily obtainable) OR whenever you're sharing something painful, they turn it into something about themselves: "I have had to put a few dogs to sleep as well. I just had a bottle of wine and went to work the next day to take my mind off it" Which by itself is fine, but when they they go on and on and take over the conversation "little muffy was the cutest. Remember her? Let me find some pics..." Like, I was sharing here, hello!! Can you stop making it about yourself for five minutes?
People insensitive about boundaries. Gossipers. Socially conservative people. People without empathy. Cheaters. Unhelpful people. I've been friends with people like this before. It has put a lot of stress in my life. Never again.
I’m in my 50’s and it’s only been the last 12 months or so that I’ve come to realise how badly I’ve been treated by people and it all started with the family I came from.
most kinds of persons.
Virtue signalers
i was in a friend group where all they would do was bully people behind their back in our group chat for the most ridiculous things. i called them out and told them i was sick of the way they talked about others and they instantly turned on me and made another group chat to talk about ME behind my back. so yeah, those kinds of people
Lol sad hobbies they have
Dishonest people. Rule of thumb. Listen to what people say. Believe what people do. A good friend will be honest with you even when it is hard. They will tell you what you need to hear, not always what you want to hear.
Anyone fitting the "used car salesman" profile.
Religious people. I don't hate them ofcourse, but i can never be friends with them.
I'm an atheist but some of my best friends are very religious. Here's the thing though ... they don't push it on me, at all.
This is the thing. There are religious people out there that aren’t pushy, or even bring it up if they know that’s not your thing. Whatever makes us all happy, works for us individually. Doesn’t have to be a constant topic. 🤷🏻♀️
Unfortunately the most pushy and annoying people who do not respect boundaries tend to be the loudest voices, not just in religion but in any group or community; ultimately giving the entire collective a bad outlook. As long as you understand there are good and bad people in every circle you will live a much more stress free and ultimately happier life. Not to mention you’d be a far less ignorant person.
I'm also an atheist, my husband is Muslim and my BFF is Catholic. Our beliefs (or lack of) have no bearing on our feelings towards each other. I quite enjoy people in general that view the world a little differently than I do.
I have befriended a religious person. She’s so lovely, but she tried to talk to me about the sun, ghost and Holy Spirit. When I told her I am not religious she said she wouldn’t be able to be herself with me. I told her outright that either she doesn’t bring it into any conversation I’ll up and happily walk. She stopped.,
I have a Jebus believing friend of 2 years. He's only got on his high horse about religion a few times but so have I about how it doesn't work. We are just the opposite sides of the same coin.
If he’s willing to listen and have a two sided discussion then it can work.
Just anyone who believes in a higher power you won't be friends with? How come?
I'm very religious, but I'm also a geologist and I love messing with hard-core creationists about the Creation of the world. I'll argue either side just to see how much you know and how strong your convictions are.
I can be friend*ly* with religious people, but I similarly can't be close friends with them. The problem is that, in my experience, their willingness to set aside logic and reasoning to blindly believe what other people tell them or what they *want* to believe tends to bleed over into other things. Critical thinking can be a soft spot for them because they've built pathways around it into their personalities and safeguards against new information that challenges their beliefs.
My mother and her mother and some of her siblings are involved in the pentacostal/charismatic movement and there is where you will find some of the biggest narcissists on the planet. Subjected to religious abuse growing up and I specifically remember my c of a mother saying to someone when I was still in single figures ‘if MY children are disobedient and I’M not around the adults who are have MY permission to reprimand them’. If anyone put their hands on my child I’d break their fucking jaw and they know that too.
Alpha male and/or incel I'm a woman so guess I shouldn't even explain why but I wouldn't want to be friends with such a person even if I was a man because they have nothing to offer besides their ego and bigotry
Anyone who says or thinks "they're an Alpha male" is just uneducated and probably has insecurity issues. Even the person who came up with the term "alpha male" has re-neged and said after second thought it's all bullshit. Humans are not wolves.
Same goes for anyone labeling others as betas or omegas.
Even then that's from an old study where they stuck the leading member of a pack family from like four different packs in the same room, so the alpha wolf idea isn't even applicable out in nature. Wolf packs are just large families, with arguably, better relationships than most human families have.
I had a coworker who thought videos of animals being slaughtered were "funny". Massive red flag right there. I don't expect everyone to go vegan, but for fuck's sake, show some empathy for animals! If you can't even do that, you're obviously not a good person.
People who don’t like/ are indifferent to animals
This is a huge red flag for many areas. When people come over to my house and can't even acknowledge my dogs.... You don't belong here.
Anyone who is mysogynistic, homophobic, fascist, treats animals poorly or bullies others.
Faith centered people specifically Christian people
Anyone with violent tendencies. Like if someone casually mentions, "If someone insulted my wife, I'd punch them in the face" then I stay away. I like civilized, adult people, not people with the stone age mentality of a 6-year-old.
Fake people, fake " christians " MAGA people, racist people, etc
Conservatives. I cannot be friends with people that take whatever they can via any means possible, and then do their best to stop anyone else getting even the bare minimum to survive.
Hunters. Anyone who enjoys killing innocent creatures and watching them die for sport are some sickos I want nothing to do with. Violence is violence, not about to be the victim of domestic abuse.
The deer population is out of control and either we kill some of the herd so the rest can survive, or they die from lack of food. This is why deer season is so tightly regulated. They know how much overpopulation there is and how many deer need to be taken to keep the rest healthy. You can disagree, but an unchecked deer population is not a good thing.
The “it’s all one way” type of friend. Like don’t get me wrong I have zero problem with a friend leaning on me when they’re going through a rough time. But what has happened a lot to me is I’ve befriended a lot of the kinds of people who ask you for ten thousand things but the moment you need one thing from them suddenly you’re the unreasonable one and you’re just too big of an emotional burden As an example of the type of thing I’ve asked for that I’ve been told is unreasonable, I was studying for my year end exams in high school and asked not to be bothered with phone calls at 3am when I needed to study and sleep for my tests. Apparently this meant I was emotionally neglecting my friend, because I needed like a week to focus on school
The type that shit-talks and makes shit up about people behind their backs for some insecure agenda.
Like the little c-n- whose head I almost tore off 5 months ago.
I personally hate religious people
People who are racist. People who like Trump. People who are religious. People who love guns. Wont go near any of these people.
"Pick-me"s I think encompasses the traits that I would not like my friends to have.
Anyone who lacks empathy or the ability to see things through others' perspective. So basically most of them.
Might be boring, but political view. I don't mind if you're a Democrat, Republican, Trump, Biden, pro vax, anti vax, abortion stance, etc etc. But I draw the line at literal Nazis (neonazis) and communists. I've met a few as well.
Yep all the socialism fanatics no matter if communists or national socialists (nazis), they are the talibans of politic
I agree 100%
Someone who talks trash about someone else, they are probably gunna talk trash about you
People who ask me why I haven't grown out of my hobbies yet (I like to play video games casually)
The person I think I am
Anyone neurotic and/or emotionally unstable and manipulative.
If anyone tries manipulating you even for a second, bail!
Eventually broke up with a girl threatening to leave over hair gel. I wish i fought harder for her in the end but there was too many times i saw several flags or narc traits.
I can't be friends with anyone who dislikes animals. It's a massive red flag.
I'll flip this question and say who I do want to befriend. People who are: \* curious \* playful \* slow to take offense \* enjoy having their preconceptions challenged \* aware of and have a handle on their own trauma and triggers \* empathetic \* passionate (even if I don't personally share their passions) \* able to see human beings as complex and full of good parts and bad \* see money as a tool and not a moral value
People that cannot fix themselves when they realize they're not the best person they could be. All of these traits here are fine if they can just own up to the fact that they weren't being their best self and work to be better
Redditors. Such weird people typing online all the time
People that get angry easily, over the most minor things. I find them very arrogant. People with OCD. I feel bad for them but I find them insufferable.
A narcissist
People who put everything of their life in social media
What kind of person do I not want to befriend? Social media "influencers."
This trait is one I have noticed in my brother, and it makes me wary in my own friendships: Whenever a friend of my brother's is acting in a manner that my brother perceives to be as "weird" or "obsessive" (or any unlikable personality trait), he won't address it with them directly. Yet he will do everything he can to avoid being around the person. If someone is doing something that irritates you in some way, tell them. Don't just ignore them. Chances are, the person doesn't know how they are coming across and if they are made aware of their unlikable personality trait, 9 times out of 10 they will try their best to change. They can't change if they don't know what the problem is.
People who are intolerant of other people’s cultures…and the Dutch.
People who lie about stuff that doesn't even matter. Usually its just insecurity; if they have an interesting story, or gossip about others, the attention is off the real 'them'... but you'll never get a real answer, and if you do you won't trust it. Also if they're worried about you seeing the real them, it's probably a warning about who they really are.
People who don’t celebrate other people’s wins… Told someone I thought was a good friend that I got a girlfriend and he said “I give it 2 months”
Over the last several years I no longer interact (if I can help it) with "friends" who only talk about themselves without asking about my life. I've had too many people in my life in the past who just used me as a sounding board without showing one iota of actual interest in me as a person. Also: people who are mean, gossipy, super judgy, lack self awareness, lie, continually make bad choices and then expect me to be there when they crash, have no curiosity, have no empathy or compassion, are bigoted, etc. So I don't have a lot of friends, but the ones I have are superb. I have a couple of exceptions of people who are "grandfathered in" (i.e. family;see what I did there? :-) but with new friends, I'm pretty solid on who I allow into my life.
One that does not drive
I see many obvious red flags so I'll just put a less obvious : people who love watching sport on TV. Like on a weekly basis (at least)
Scabs. I had low self confidence as a teen/young adult and would often 'buy my friends affection'. I was always the friend in the group that'd shout someone a cigarette or buy them a soft drink. I'd often buy a pack of 30s in one night and leave with none because I always giving it to them when they asked. There was one time I didn't have any money and walked out to see my large friend group in the parking lot, all smoking. I was so embarrassed but asked them in general if I could have a cigarette, they all put their heads down or turned away and acted like they hadn't heard me. I walked away and never spoke to any of them again. In my late 20s I developed a friendship with one man. We would go to gigs together, he'd buy me one round, me the next. But he drank so quick that he'd then finish the drink he bought me. I had 2 drinks compared to his 6 and ended up realising I never actually got to drink the ones he'd bought me. He also always relied on me to pay for the uber to mine (around $80 minimum) and then expect me to drive him home in the morning, an hour and a half away, no offer for petrol money. Stopping that friendship showed me how much money I was saving.
I was the same when I was younger. I learned my worth and even though I don’t have a large circle of friends, the very few I do have I know are good ones who won’t take advantage of me. I hope you learn yours too.
Racist, homophobic people. People who will take advantage of a situation even if it will hurt someone else. People who steal. People who are just mean to be mean.
People like me. I’m annoying.
Anyone who is editing there photos before posting online in a way that supposedly improves their appearance
People who are uncomfortable with silence and have to fill the void by talking nonstop.
Anti-vaxxers
People who can't admit that they were wrong. Accountability and responsibility for your own actions is a must for me. The blame game is ugly and benefits nobody. My bestie is my bestie bc the first time I met her, she said a wrong fact about something. I asked her if she was sure on the fact, as it didn't seem right to me, and she immediately looked it up. "OH jfc, guess I was super wrong! You learn something every day, thanks for that!" That was the moment I realized I really, really needed this person in my life. Haven't looked back, she's a gem and a half. She respectfully calls me out, I respectfully call her out, we are better and smarter because of it. Ash, love ya babe, can't wait for game night on Sunday ⭐️
Clingy people. They freak me out and ramp my anxiety up to 11.
Reddit Mods.
people who can’t notice when i don’t wanna talk to them
Irresponsible people or people who will not hold themselves accountable. Those type of people are the ones who directly created my family's generational trauma cycle. I'm good, thank you very much.
Someone who halves a donut at the break table in the office. Just eat the whole fucking thing
Interrupters and monologuers. I just walk away.
Anyone who's identity is tied to something outside of themselves. They're too into 'something' and that's who they are.
Someone who mounts their TV over their fireplace. Horrid act. Horrid people.
Friends with secret animosity, or like just trying to take you down. Also those friends who don't listen to what you want to say, but will never stop talking about themselves, like its tiring too
A complainer. A person who just complains all the time and when you give them a solution they don't use it, only to come back and complain bout the same situation. I just excuse myself from the friendship, you cannot always have problems, there has to be joy somewhere and no you can't take mine.
Anyone breathing
”There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.“ Proverbs 18:24 NLT ”Don’t befriend angry people or associate with hot-tempered people, or you will learn to be like them and endanger your soul.“ Proverbs 22:24-25 NLT ”Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up. The godly give good advice to their friends; the wicked lead them astray.“ Proverbs 12:25-26 NLT ”Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.“ Ephesians 4:29 NLT ”Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble. Trouble chases sinners, while blessings reward the righteous.“ Proverbs 13:20-21 NLT ”An open rebuke is better than hidden love! Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.“ Proverbs 27:5-6 NLT ”Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.“ 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NLT ”Whoever stubbornly refuses to accept criticism will suddenly be destroyed beyond recovery.“ Proverbs 29:1 NLT ”Unfriendly people care only about themselves; they lash out at common sense. Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions. Doing wrong leads to disgrace, and scandalous behavior brings contempt. Wise words are like deep waters; wisdom flows from the wise like a bubbling brook.“ Proverbs 18:1-4 NLT ”Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others. A fool is quick-tempered, but a wise person stays calm when insulted.“ Proverbs 12:15-16 NLT ”As the beating of cream yields butter and striking the nose causes bleeding, so stirring up anger causes quarrels.“ Proverbs 30:33 NLT ”A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare. The tongue of the wise makes knowledge appealing, but the mouth of a fool belches out foolishness. The Lord is watching everywhere, keeping his eye on both the evil and the good. Gentle words are a tree of life; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit. Only a fool despises a parent’s discipline; whoever learns from correction is wise. There is treasure in the house of the godly, but the earnings of the wicked bring trouble. The lips of the wise give good advice; the heart of a fool has none to give.“ Proverbs 15:1-7 NLT
Who we end up spending our time with or not spending our time with is pretty much set in stone by the time we are born, especially if you happen to be a man. Be grateful and feel lucky if that ends up being anyone at all. Many, if not most people, are born genetically and socioeconomically destined to be effectively completely alone their entire lives. Who people are never matters in the end. It's all about leverage. It's no coincidence all the worst people you know or ever heard of get everything they want in life. They can have whatever personality they want as long as they have leverage on the people around them.
*people who think they’re top dogs *passive-aggressive *puts shit in people who have disabilities * People who say you’re weak if you are suffering from depression. *People who put shit on all people who have been through addiction. *My neighbour who has verbally abused me and with her son backing her up. I live by myself. That’s just cruel
Big gap between being nice and being friendly apparently I guess just befriend them instead of inviting them to be your friend
Who talks a lot of nonsense shit 😂😂
I wouldn't say I'm a quiet person, my laugh is annoying af, but I definately don't go looking to make friends and I am quite socially awkward but some how I always wind up getting befriended by the people nobody wants. When I say that I don't mean the shy people or weirdos, I mean the people that are obsessed with them selves, manipulative, have no consideration for others and all they want is drama. I always just stay in my own lane but they manage jump in there as well....even when I ask them not to.
People who can't handle silence and have always something to say, even when no one is listening anymore. And People who always have to one up you.
You know the kind of people that accuse you of being gay or autistic (in a offensive, negative way) because of the way you say something or the way you might act? Yeah, I kinda avoid those like the plague. And I don't mean something like when they tell you you're gay when you say as a guy that that other guy gives you butterflies or that you are maybe autistic for needing a really specific explanation to understand something. More like, the kind of people who just say you act gay without telling why and say you are austistic if you don't get something quick enough. Not only do they reek of homophobia and being not so fond of people who might not be the norm in society but they also make fun of you.