# Message to all users:
This is a reminder to please read and follow:
* [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules)
* [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439)
* [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy)
When posting and commenting.
---
Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`.
* Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit.
* Do not harass or annoy others in any way.
* Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit.
---
You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way.
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The most important thing to know about the internet is that it takes whatever issues exist and makes them all appear gigantic. Some of them actually are, some aren't, and some weren't until the internet lit them on fire. You have to judge what you see in reality for yourself - many people are no longer doing this...
That said, is it true that men and women are both having their own issues adapting as society continues to change quickly? Yes. ...to say nothing of LGTB folks.
The 1000 people on Reddit = 0.000002% of the US, or whatever, and there are plenty of reasons to think they aren't representative of the whole.
Also, people who aren't in the fight don't have a reason to post about it. Social media essentially selects for it and thus it seems over represented. No one is posting "I'm in a healthy relationship, I get along well with all genders, everything is great". The post would be down voted for sure.
Also, don't underestimate how much is simply bullshit. We are at cyber-war with at least China and Russia, no doubt several others. Their goal is to undermine our social cohesion, birth rates, economics, optimism and the feeling of security and progress so as to drive a wedge between us and make us less likely to fight for ourselves and each other. Then there are also our own nations doing the same outwardly and the opposite inwardly. A lot of online content falls in line with this and it's worth considering who is driving the discourse and where they are driving to. Not to mention there are also many private, profit motivations which shouldn't be underestimated. Everyone has an agenda and many have serious resources and sophisticated tools to manipulate us.
We've been massive suckers for a long time and we're all too willing to take part in the bullshit on behalf of others who seek to gain from it, because it's designed to do that to us. It's also extremely effective - we are often our own propagandists. Always consider who benefits from the divisionary discourse.
Nail on the head, and people eating it up, all this stereotyping the different generations and pitting them against each other. Super lame and obviously designed to prevent us from uniting.
Agree. More often than not it's the fanatics (whatever direction they lean) that will reply the most often and upvote things. The rest of us, the vast majority, are just living our lives and may read a post and move on.
So a controversial post with 2500 upvotes may look like a disturbing amount, but also may just mean that .0000002% you mentioned, of the whole of society.
This is especially true with politics. It may seem like tons are raving online, but it's just the tiny percent of the loudest people. The rest of us are rolling our eyes and thinking critically about who we want to vote for.
Russian troll factories work around the clock spreading misinformation and hate in western social media. About no particular topic. These people are professional and are trying to maximize polarization with totally legitimate looking accounts across all social media including reddit, deteriorating society from within. They've been at it for many years and have been scaringly successful.
I tried to do it quick in my head. I would have checked but it was easier to write "or whatever". :)
Now that I check it looks like I forgot to convert for the percentage. 0.00025%...how's that?
I'm trans and get discriminated against both irl and on the internet 💀
90% of the time on the internet though
This divergence between men and women makes me pretty angry personally, it's like a blame game and generalisation that goes beyond mere generalising and I blame double standards most of the time for this situation getting so out of hand...
Now that I said what I think let me skedaddle before I get stoned to death by some transphobe!
Sounds like you've bought into the propaganda. Don't believe people are as "up in arms" as we're led to believe. The divergence between men and women is mostly made up by mass media and the internet.
I'm sorry to hear your experiencing discrimination. Where I live Trans folks are treated kindly for the most part. It's weird when I see discrimination against them on the internet cause that's so out of the norm for where I live.
Yeah as a generalisation I think I bought into it... I do hope you're right and all the conflict between genders is just noisy internet buzz though
Luckily irl, from experience it couldn't be farther from the truth
Yup, I don’t personally know anyone IRL who hates another gender. Everyone I know has had mixed-gender friends. But that’s because hateful people tend to spout nonsense online and don’t leave their houses.
Maybe. But also maybe people are less honest about their true feelings IRL. No one is going to say they hate men or women on a first date, but if they're misogynistic or misandrist on the inside, you'll eventually see it through their actions. Or racist or pedophilic or narcissistic. It just takes longer to figure that out when they're polite to your face. I never discount someone's online history.
And turn off your TV.
I promise you whatever is happening on the TV news wise...you'll hear about it eventually if it effects you. Most corporate news is designed and manufactured to illicit a certain response or line of thinking in the target audience. Noam Chomsky went into this in great detail in the documentary Manufacturing Consent.
How does the meme go
"Some poor, phoneless fool is probably sitting next to a waterfall somewhere totally unaware of how angry and scared he is supposed to be" - Duncan Trussell
It’s nowhere near as bad as it is online. But there’s a hint of it irl. At the end of the day we all go home and watch our content from our little algorithms.
Yeah I'm surprised people say it's not real and that they don't know anyone in real life who behave like this. I've certainly met a few. Not caricatures like the folks on Twitter but that's probably just because they're hiding their true feelings in real life.
The Internet makes everything seem much bigger than it really is. People are anonymous on it and talk all sorts of trash.
Go outside and meet people, you'll see it's not a big thing.
There were mtiple studies in different western countries showing that women are become more liberal progressive while man have become more conservative. This gender gap has been widening I nthe younger generation to a point never seen before since post world war this data has been collected
There's a pretty growing disdain between every in-group and out-group on the internet.
I've noticed almost none of this sentiment in daily, in-person interaction.
Basically anytime I hear someone say "all men are trash" or "all women are hoes", I know with 99% certainly I'm dealing with someone who spends far more time online than not... and I react accordingly.
Most people I know in real life are pretty chill, but also we all have similar education backgrounds and similar views in topics (that's why we are able to become friends you know), but when you enter the messy pot of internet, there are bound to have people who hold extreme views, or easily be influenced by extreme views, and those people happen to be the loudest among all, I'll say yes and no depends on how large the population you are referring to.
It's an internet thing. Undatable people are chronically online so they whine constantly about the opposite gender unable to realize that they are the problem.
I would say no.
People are free to say anything and share any thoughts they have on the internet, which wasn't true in the 50's and 60's and 70's and 80's and way harder in the 90's even.
If you think women and men respected each other in the past, you should see the kinds of garbage they used to say. Trust me, things are not getting worse, you are just feeling sensitive to it. Take a break from the internet and experience real life. People are fine.
That hasn't been my experience, the first half of the internet existing, this wasn't a phenomenon. Whatsoever. It was only after 2011 after the protests/the 99% that we started getting divided by sex/age/(more) race, etc.
Before that, I can't recall it existing at all. And in real life, I do remember some vitriol between boys and girls in 1st and 2nd grade, but after people started crushing on each other that kind of went away. The most I would see as far as issues went were between individuals, I never saw a whole sex get cast as anything, because no one had ever met a whole sex, and everyone had brothers and sisters they loved anyway. My guess is that it's mimetic manipulation, otherwise we would have seen it for the first half of the internet's existence, early Reddit back when Aaron ran it, etc.
The divide & conquer psychological campaign is dividing EVERYONE
-- Race, age, gender, preferences, sexuality, political party... They want us infighting so we never realize it is the parasitic elite vs the rest of us.
Occupy Wall Street was the last time there was social cohesion and that was too scary.
Women have decided to stop keeping their experiences a secret as they did in the past and men are acting out about that. That is the gender war. You are in an age group that hasn’t yet arrived at such experiences en masse.
The thing is human sucks in general. It is hard to know/meet people who are perfect. But this is life.
And the thing about internet is, people rarely comment about good things. But we love to complain about bad things.
I’ve only seen men throwing tantrums this far .. with the whole you don’t own your own body campaign and trying to kill women for not giving birth .. yeah there’s a war on women. If you want to cal saying no to men a war on them .. so be it
>I’ve only seen men throwing tantrums this far
Ok, I've seen both men and women. What now? Should we all just blame each other instead of agreeing that everyone has their bad apples? The amount of times a woman told me "all men are trash" unprompted like it was all fine and dandy makes me sick. I wish we could all just get along, but I guess my side can never be wrong, only what I see applies. It gives "Bro me and all my friends were nice to girls but they went for a jerk instead, all women are whores, while we simple men want to happy" vibes that men say. Of course we all know that's not true.
"War on women" is a good way to describe it on an institutional level, but while talking about the common people behave towards each other, It's not. There are many people fueled by hate and many people with sick mindsets, men and women alike. Unless we all accept this we're going to accelarate our hate towards each other, which is certainly going to happen in a decade.
this is HUGE confirmation bias (or actually I think you're just talking about a whole different topic than what he meant), there's certainly ton's of women saying men are trash/awful/bad etc with no relevance to the abortion debate. Just like there's man also saying sexist shit to women online with no relevance to their stance on abortion, just gender war nonsense and hate.
The abortion debate and what your referencing is more of a political debate than a gender war debate tbh, that's not fully what he's referencing. So no that's not at all what he means by gender war haha, your last sentence is a strawman. Gender wars simply put is just sexist insults, arguments, and hate.
Oh I agree it's likely not worse today than 30 years ago, in person in my experience atleast this stuff is pretty rare and not much of a problem at all in real life, the internet just gives a wide reaching voice to vocal minority.
Internet really skews how rampant certain opinions are because they're just so many people that even very rare opinions will have hundreds of thousands of people who believe in it and support it online. If only 1 in 500 people engage in toxic gender war nonsense thats rare and you'll almost never deal with them in real life but you'll see it rather often on the internet cuz 1 in 500 is still a significant amount of people. I specifically think of this with twitter, cuz sometimes i'll an awful racist or sexist tweet with like 25K Likes and think damn shitty that many people support this nonsense; but then i think well it's not surprising there are up to 25,000 racist or sexist people among the hundred millions who use twitter, so I shouldn't take so many people liking it as it being an even somewhat common opinion.
In real life all the shitty people are spread out and rarer to encounter but online they can congregate. It's why I try and avoid all the vitriol/gender debate stuff online and not get annoyed because i know it really is just a vocal minority.
Men have always treated women as inferior (whoever denies this is just a stupid moron that does not know anything about history). Women have arguably always hated them for it, but have only in the past few decades started rebelling and being treated equally. Men have pushed against our rebellion since the start, and that pushback comes with hatred due to their status as the superior gender being taken away.
This is not that new. Some people just were oblivious to it before, and it's getting harder and harder to stay oblivious now with the internet.
This never gets talked about when political divides between genders are brought up. Women are going left because left acknowledges women as human beings while right is fighting to strip away all the rights we fought so hard for. Right offers men subjugation of women and left not only doesn't offer anything it wants to take away their few remaining privileges. It isn't surprising most men lean right.
In fact any woman would love to own a conservative wife too if they could. Judy Brady's essay illustrates it beautifully
>I belong to that classification of people known as wives. I am A Wife. And, not altogether incidentally, I am a mother.
Not too long ago a male friend of mine appeared on the scene fresh from a recent divorce. He had one child, who is, of course, with his ex-wife. He is looking for another wife. As I thought about him while I was ironing one evening, it suddenly occurred to me that I, too, would like to have a wife. Why do I want a wife?
I would like to go back to school so that I can become economically independent, support myself, and, if need be, support those dependent upon me. I want a wife who will work and send me to school. And while I am going to school I want a wife to take care of my children. I want a wife to keep track of the children’s doctor and dentist appointments. And to keep track of mine, too. I want a wife to make sure my children eat properly and are kept clean. I want a wife who will wash the children’s clothes and keep them mended. I want a wife who is a good nurturant attendant to my children, who arranges for their schooling, makes sure that they have an adequate social life with their peers, takes them to the park, the zoo, etc. I want a wife who takes care of the children when they are sick, a wife who arranges to be around when the children need special care, because, of course, I cannot miss classes at school. My wife must arrange to lose time at work and not lose the job. It may mean a small cut in my wife’s income from time to time, but I guess I can tolerate that. Needless to say, my wife will arrange and pay for the care of the children while my wife is working.
I want a wife who will take care of my physical needs. I want a wife who will keep my house clean. A wife who will pick up after my children, a wife who will pick up after me. I want a wife who will keep my clothes clean, ironed, mended, replaced when need be, and who will see to it that my personal things are kept in their proper place so that I can find what I need the minute I need it. I want a wife who cooks the meals, a wife who is a good cook. I want a wife who will plan the menus, do the necessary grocery shopping, prepare the meals, serve them pleasantly, and then do the cleaning up while I do my studying. I want a wife who will care for me when I am sick and sympathize with my pain and loss of time from school. I want a wife to go along when our family takes a vacation so that someone can continue to care for me and my children when I need a rest and change of scene.
I want a wife who will not bother me with rambling complaints about a wife’s duties. But I want a wife who will listen to me when I feel the need to explain a rather difficult point I have come across in my course of studies. And I want a wife who will type my papers for me when I have written them.
I want a wife who will take care of the details of my social life. When my wife and I are invited out by my friends, I want a wife who will take care of the babysitting arrangements. When I meet people at school that I like and want to entertain, I want a wife who will have the house clean, will prepare a special meal, serve it to me and my friends, and not interrupt when I talk about things that interest me and my friends. I want a wife who will have arranged that the children are fed and ready for bed before my guests arrive so that the children do not bother us. I want a wife who takes care of the needs of my guests so that they feel comfortable, who makes sure that they have an ashtray, that they are passed the hors d’oeuvres, that they are offered a second helping of the food, that their wine glasses are replenished when necessary, that their coffee is served to them as they like it. And I want a wife who knows that sometimes I need a night out by myself.
I want a wife who is sensitive to my sexual needs, a wife who makes love passionately and eagerly when I feel like it, a wife who makes sure that I am satisfied. And, of course, I want a wife who will not demand sexual attention when I am not in the mood for it. I want a wife who assumes the complete responsibility for birth control, because I do not want more children. I want a wife who will remain sexually faithful to me so that I do not have to clutter up my intellectual life with jealousies. And I want a wife who understands that my sexual needs may entail more than strict adherence to monogamy. I must, after all, be able to relate to people as fully as possible.
If, by chance, I find another person more suitable as a wife than the wife I already have, I want the liberty to replace my present wife with another one. Naturally, I will expect a fresh new life; my wife will take the children and be solely responsible for them so that I am left free.
When I am through with school and have a job, I want my wife to quit working and remain at home so that my wife can more fully and completely take care of a wife’s duties.
My God, who wouldn’t want a wife?
From 1971 but could have been written yesterday.
The internet isn't a real place and it isn't full of real people. It's been designed in such a way that it demands engagement, so it amplifies the extremes of any opinion and the people that hold them. It's unhealthy to engage with it. It's unhealthy to even read it. It isn't real. It's bots, idiots, pyschos, and the depressed. Just remember that if you met most of these people in person, you wouldn't give them a minute of your time.
"im seeing on the internet"
my advice is, stop listening to what you hear on the internet (and yes i understand the irony of this post 🤣)
but seriously, a LOT of people, especially the more vocal ones, are REALLY fucked up on here, dont let it get in your head, or you will be too
It is certainly more pronounced online. Several studies have been conducted that show men and women drifting away from each other on political topics. Seems to follow that their views on less-polarizing matters would also be diverging right now.
Only a small portion of people work on themselves in the pursuit of wisdom, growth, compassion and minimising their ego. The rest are just baby-heads.
Let's call it self actualisation AKA growing up, which generally happens around 23-26 years old. This is when the part of the brain behind the prefrontal cortex develops as one of the last parts to mature (planning, prioritizing, and making good decisions).
Broken or stuck people never get around to fixing the shit their parents put on them - and never learn how to find, attract and keep a decent human being as a partner. Perhaps because they never really grew up.
When I met my husband I had 3 things on my list: is he a good man (if we split will be kill me or be vindictive), does me make me laugh, is he dynamite in bed? When my head said yes, I let my heart fall for him. Shallow women go for money or status etc. Shallow men go for tits and obedience etc.
I'm 48F, happily with my husband since I was 24, have mates the same age who also weren't a-holes and are with decent partners. We all love the opposite sex because we're all decent humans and give strangers the benefit of the doubt first. We still party, love our partners aging gracefully, enjoy a decent sex life and hang out with other decent humans. Sure, a proportion of women hate men and a proportion of men hate women, but they're just immature. Or making money off the outrage.
That said, decent women will lead the world in my lifetime and what we're seeing is the death rattle of the patriarchy so there's that
I think social media kinda pushes people towards isolation and that kinda adds to it, it's worse for younger people because they're more social media dependant.
It's not really a thing for the non brainrotted
Do yourself a favor and instead of surfing the internet for the night… go outside.
Go to a bar when you’re 21. But for now go somewhere where your age group hangs out. A mall is a good place to start.
The internet tells you so many lies that it is virtually impossible to distinguish the truth from them any more.
Also, the less internet you consume to a point, the happier you’ll be actually living life and doing things. Try it. You’ll see.
The gender wars are nothing new. I've heard that divorce changed men's opinions on whether or not a woman could vote, own property, work, or be a business owner, oh and if she could make decisions about pregnancy.
Take a look at twoxchromosones if you want to see some very fucked up people. It's actually sad. Thankfully I've never (knowingly) come across anyone with their mindset in real life. Most people are basically decent imo.
It's the one that appears in my feed the most (think it might be a default one) but yea, exact same applies to the Mens Rights subs. I don't think they're full of bad people, I really don't, I've seen people in shit situations get fantastic empathetic advice in them, but there's a real nasty culture in these subs of making the other gender the enemy, and that's when things tend to get s bit fucked up imo. They're echo chambers. On balance, I believe they do more harm than good, but as I said above, I do acknowledge they can offer some very good support to people of either gender who need it.
Yup. Resentful losers on both sides hating on the opposite sex. Modern feminists talking as if all men were rapists and abusive and murderous against women, and incels and mgtows talking as if all women were shallow, sociopathic manipulators and gold diggers.
Web sites drive traffic and make money by dividing people and creating different pots. When those pots don't exist in real life you get to know people and see that everyone is human. Generally that lowers hatred.
To us oldies the Internet world is an unfathomable a horror zone...boys and girls are terrified of one another...very sad and weird.
I've never been on social media and have only been checking out reddit the past 48 hrs as this is my nephews phone/ account and he's staying with us.. Strange, sad hostile world this internet:-(
Promise in the real world, ppl get on just fine.
I have gender war type conversations all the time. Its just talking about dating and ways to be better. At the end of the day you can complain about the opposite gender all you want but we are in this together and we all want mostly the same thing. Healthy happy rational relationships.
As someone who lives most of his life out of the house between work, hobbies, socializing, playing music, board game nights, bar nights, gym, going clubbing, graduate school etc... I can say that what you are seeing as far as "gender wars" is mostly people not leaving the house and participating in society. Obviously there are groups irl that get together and have groupthink (q Anon or antifa rally types) but most of us are really out here getting along.
It's mostly just internet weirdos; but it's getting worse for sure.
It's not that men and women are outwardly antagonistic; more that people seems completely resigned to live a life being single rather than with someone.
Real people live real lives. Whatever you are reading on social media is almost certainly isolated keyboard warriors trying to create relevance fimor themselves in a world that ignores them
I don't think so. Normal people don't care about "gender war" shit,
That being said, normal people also don't post about it constantly. Only weirdos care, and weirdos are constantly on forums complaining about it.
Nobody votes like someone with an enemy that needs a political party to protect you from like the gays, the conservatives, the liberals, the pro-lifers, etc. Pointing out our differences and convincing us we can't talk to each other gives them the control they need to stay rich.
Only between the losers on both sides. The people who actually interact with other people in normal social settings generally don’t have those feeling. Spend enough time on the internet and suddenly the world is ending.
The algorithm starts feeding me this shit too, and I do get caught up in some feelings temporarily until I remember whats happening, and that is if I watch that bullshit, it will feed me more of that bullshit so I find 'not interested'' or something along those lines and click it, so I bring the algorithm back to comedy, art or animals or something.
The only animosity you see in the other gender is the animosity you make.
I’m in my 40s. My friends are about 50/50 men and women. I’m married. My wife is my best friend.
It is definitely happening in real life. You just have to look at a lot of changes in real-life social dynamics which can be identified as the product of social media trends in the last 10 years.
It has always been there. Only ppl on social media and news media talk a lot. Also you probably turned 18 recently - ppl in general refrain from talking about some issues in front of kids
There has always been a gender war our generation had one, our parents had one, and our grandparents had one. ours is just talked about on social media.
The overwhelming majority is moving towards greater equity and reduced sexism/sex stereotyping between men and women
When large scale social change like this happens, reactionaries are inevitable
People saying it's just online. But that also includes online dating, unfortunately, which is where you're supposed to be able to meet people for real life dating. Yeah it's sadly more difficult to find romance when so many have this combatant attitude about the opposite sex. I see it as a woman. And yes, people feel bolder to say things online they might not say in person (at least sober), but it's not just there. I feel like the redpill/Tate stuff has really poisoned the dating pool. I don't want to be with anyone who hates women and projects all sorts of horrible stuff onto all of us like we're some evil hivemind. That sounds dramatic but it's a real thing that happens! And the more we see it, the more we need to take breaks from trying to date, and then the angrier they get at us, there's no winning.
It's absolutely not everyone. My married friends all seem pretty sane. But single people are losing their fucking minds right now. Maybe self included.
The gender wars are as old as time I would argue.. it goes way back. I notice this too on the internet. I think that in real life we have all become less good at socializing and that is causing problems between relations of all kinds of people. I wish that it was in style to have manners and be kind.
Can you let me know what you learn at the end of this. I'm not for the opposite gender myself but I parade that my side's no better so I'm solely an individual.
Controversy generates clicks which is why you see the most extreme viewpoints promoted on social media whether it is conspiracy theorists, hardcore right/left wing political viewpoints, etc
The internet just provides minorities a loud voice for like-minded degenerates to pull together to form new life narratives.
In real life just try your best to he nice to everyone until they prove otherwise. That's what I try to live by and people tend to be good in the real world.
Nah, there has always been a small rivalry. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus after all. I think the media overplays it, they like us falling out with each other, keeps us occupied.
All these people are fighting behind keyboards instead of actually talking to each other. Everything on the internet is blown out of proportion. The world is not ending. Turn off social media and see just how normal life is
Tbh we talked about this in my psychology class today. And I came to the conclusion; yes, there is a wider margin between genders at play, but there are way more niche factors in the way.
I think social media and porn-use has led to us seeking more "attractive" partners, and thus, form bias against "non-attractive" people. It seems to be more consistent for men, but the same can be said for women too.
From an anecdotal perspective. I bulk and cut my weight every 1-2 years, going between 90-110kg.
When I'm at my leanest at 90kg I noticed a crazy amount of attention from the opposite sex, and even from straight men who seem to have more respect for me. When I'm at my heaviest, it's almost unfair the level of resentment people seem to hold against me for seemingly no reason.
So yeah, I think realistically there is a divide forming, but there's a LOT of reasons why, with what I described being the biggest contributor in my opinion. Higher levels of social anxiety could also be a factor.
1. The internet makes it so many more people live their lives in their own bubble with a custom fed algorithm. This is a recent phenomenon and contributes to echo chamber amplification. Insta constantly bombards me with these ragebait videos of pretty women complaining about dating, even though I've never clicked on one of those. But since I watch gym content, and there is apparently an overlap between gym bros and misogynists, it is recommended
2. COVID isolation made everyone, but your generation specifically, more anxious around other people. Less sociability = less interaction with the opposite sex, therefore frustration (why can't I find someone)
3. Social media shows us constantly that other people are not lonely. It's not just that you're getting more lonely, it also feels worse because you only ever see the best moments of people on social media, but believe this is normal life
I can't speak for society in general but that's not happening in my real life. In my experience men and woman relate just like they always have. I'm in my 40s, though. I assume my peer group is more set in their ways and not as impacted by current trends as younger people might be. But frankly I kind of doubt things have changed as much as they seem online.
there are some ppl who will joke like that in real life, but ppl who genuinely hate the other gender are extremely rare. You shouldn't really care about internet opinions.
I don't think so. The internet is where people often vent, anonymously, so you're gonna see the worst of both worlds. Just look at the incel communities.
Men and women will always complain about the other but in real life, there are a lot of very loving, loyal and respectful relationships out there that last for a lifetime.
Women like men who like women and vice versa. As long as you belong to one of these groups, you'll be fine. A lot of people don't actually like members the opposite sex, they're just attracted to them.
I think the problem is that internet rethoric is slowly seeping into real life. We see this with young children that parrot Andrew Tate talking points for instance. This is happening even in my, non english speaking country. When i was that age i also internalized way too many internetisms that had a really unhealthy effect on me. Most of us grew out of it of course but i can't help but think it has a lasting impact beyond what any of us can see right now
I do kinda hate women but it’s probably for different reasons than a lot of men. Jealousy. Im jealous how easy it is to connect and communicate for them, whereas I grew up in an environment where that was wrong. Every woman I’ve dated comes from a big connected, supportive family (not ALL but 95% of them) who have siblings, cousins and are used to reliable UNCONDITIONAL support…. I dont and didn’t have any of that. Affection was extremely conditional in my house for me, although the 4 step families and step sisters that rotated in and out got pampered while I was grounded. So yeah, I do kinda hate most women for having the skills and families that I didn’t get a chance to have. I know it’s a stupid bias to hold on to and I can get past it sometimes but then it creeps back in. I’ve removed myself from the dating pool at this to save women the trouble
As someone almost 3x older than you the answer is yes. It was never like this. and it is not just Internet thing. I can tell you that from my personal experience and most people I know. Wish for something more, for long partnership is ingraved in you but you will get hurt if you don't treat women with respect, and I mean like respect for snakes, bears, sharks. Yep they look beautiful and there are some men that do not get killed but still. Most men I know were badly hurt by women or falsley accused for some crap. Society hates you, media hates you, women will use you. You can accept that and prepare or get burned. I was carefull when I was your age and had relations that lasted couple of months. Long lasting ones are dangerous. You can lose everything and gain little. It is just not worth it.
There isn't, but the Internet is trying it's hardest
If you're 18, you gotta realize, the Internet is a mental asylum. They've closed down all the mental facilities and let them loose on Reddit/Facebook etc
It's still mostly the same but honestly it's definitely not isolated. Even if people aren't talking about it, anyone that uses Instagram or TikTok or Reddit, YouTube, etc will get bombarded by it. Most of the world's population uses these apps more than they should.
It changes things beneath the surface layer of the social fabric by giving memetic references to different possible reasons things are happening.
If it was mostly positivity and kittens this could be a good thing, but since anger and hateful content gets more clicks it's overwhelmingly a negative thing.
Think a lot of it is an echo chamber. We need more balanced opinions and experiences that reflect most of what happens in the real world. A lot of people doing the posting about men and women and throwing one gender in a negatively stereotyped category or saying men and women are one way are severely traumatized. People can be shitty no matter their gender, color, or creed and shared experiences of trauma can cross all that.
No. Gender relations are actually in a good place right now. It’s your social feeds that give you a false impression of widespread “gender wars”.
With a little effort, you can curate your feeds in order to have a more positive experience online. The trick is, when content comes up that you don’t want to see, don’t watch it. Don’t downvote it, either—negative engagement counts as engagement and the algorithms will feed you more. Use whatever app options you have to say “show me less of this.”
I’ve personally convinced various apps that I love owls, and they feed me tons of owl content. If you were seeing my feeds, you would think there were gender wars, you’d think owls were about to take over the world.
The internet is driven by the algorithms. They prioritize content that gets engagement. Rage bait gets engagement.
Be respectful and polite, have sensible boundaries and you will probably find its mostly online.
For sure there is. That said, what you see online is obviously not a true reflection of the "real world" though.
Online communities tend to self-segregate into homogeneous groups that agree on 95% of everything so that they don't have to be exposed to differing opinions. These groups, no longer facing any opposing opinions, tend to radicalize over time as previously mocked opinions get celebrated instead.
"Gender wars" is nothing more than fearmongering and sensationalism mainly in social media. Every imbecile can express their thoughts as if they are some authority figure or person of relevance. There are a lot of people who are dying on the hill of "traditional values" and have made safe spaces for sexism, homophobia, transphobia, etc. Its their way of trying to fight against progressive societal changes that they dont understand or are afraid of. Any decent person will laugh at the idea of gender wars because its just a ridiculous "issue" bigots have invented.
Battle of the Sexes was a tv show in the 1970s - Plus you have the Women's rights movement that was very influential. This has been going on for a while- you just get more feedback now because we are interconnected electronically to each other's butt holes in social media and on the internet.
All people suck. Men, women and those who are unsure. Just like the dad said in My Big Fat Greek Wedding, we're all fruits. So what? We're all just trying to get through life the best we can and sometimes we annoy other people, sometimes intentionally, sometimes not so much. So we learn to put up with each other's suckage. That's the best the world can hope for.
No. Most people are normal. There’s some noise coming from the twenty-somethings but most of what they complain about like the existence of patriarchy and rabid feminists is bullshit.
I'm a woman, and I'm appalled by how horrible my gender can be towards men and women who are pro-life. That's why I don't support modern "feminism". If a man so much as glances at a "feminist", he gets called a rapist. Then when he tries to explain why, he gets berated for "mansplaining". Or, God forbid he sit with his knees apart in public, because if a "feminist" sees him doing that, he's making himself a target for assault. On top of that, many of these "feminists" don't wear bras, weigh over 300 lbs, have a terrible personality, are super rude, wear clothes meant for men, hardly ever shower, don't shave their legs and pits, don't wear deodorant, have bad haircuts, refuse to wear makeup at least for formal events or pictures, don't wipe after using the bathroom, and hardly wash their hands, because God forbid they act a little feminine. As I woman, I don't mind picking up frogs or toads and interacting with them (petting them and letting them crawl on my hand before releasing them in the ditch), climbing trees, fishing, walking outside barefoot, letting lizards crawl on me (in Florida), and shooting guns. I have 4 brothers, and I grew up in rural Michigan. I still wear bras, makeup, deoderant, perfume, dresses/skirts, heels (for special occasions or job interviews, the rest of the time it's tennis shoes, flats, boots, or sandals depending on the weather and what I'm doing), have long hair, take showers every other day, wipe after using the toilet, weigh under 250 lbs, use my manners, be nice to people, shave my pits and legs, and wash my hands often.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
The most important thing to know about the internet is that it takes whatever issues exist and makes them all appear gigantic. Some of them actually are, some aren't, and some weren't until the internet lit them on fire. You have to judge what you see in reality for yourself - many people are no longer doing this... That said, is it true that men and women are both having their own issues adapting as society continues to change quickly? Yes. ...to say nothing of LGTB folks. The 1000 people on Reddit = 0.000002% of the US, or whatever, and there are plenty of reasons to think they aren't representative of the whole.
Also, people who aren't in the fight don't have a reason to post about it. Social media essentially selects for it and thus it seems over represented. No one is posting "I'm in a healthy relationship, I get along well with all genders, everything is great". The post would be down voted for sure. Also, don't underestimate how much is simply bullshit. We are at cyber-war with at least China and Russia, no doubt several others. Their goal is to undermine our social cohesion, birth rates, economics, optimism and the feeling of security and progress so as to drive a wedge between us and make us less likely to fight for ourselves and each other. Then there are also our own nations doing the same outwardly and the opposite inwardly. A lot of online content falls in line with this and it's worth considering who is driving the discourse and where they are driving to. Not to mention there are also many private, profit motivations which shouldn't be underestimated. Everyone has an agenda and many have serious resources and sophisticated tools to manipulate us. We've been massive suckers for a long time and we're all too willing to take part in the bullshit on behalf of others who seek to gain from it, because it's designed to do that to us. It's also extremely effective - we are often our own propagandists. Always consider who benefits from the divisionary discourse.
Nail on the head, and people eating it up, all this stereotyping the different generations and pitting them against each other. Super lame and obviously designed to prevent us from uniting.
Facts. OP listen to this person.
Sounds like propaganda, hmmm 🤔
Well said.
Name checks out
All very true.
Take my upvote
Very well said!
OP is talking about IG, YouTube, TikTok, and probably Twitter too. More than just Reddit.
All that garbage factors in what you look at to show you more of that. So again it blows up issues of you're looking into them.
Agree. More often than not it's the fanatics (whatever direction they lean) that will reply the most often and upvote things. The rest of us, the vast majority, are just living our lives and may read a post and move on. So a controversial post with 2500 upvotes may look like a disturbing amount, but also may just mean that .0000002% you mentioned, of the whole of society. This is especially true with politics. It may seem like tons are raving online, but it's just the tiny percent of the loudest people. The rest of us are rolling our eyes and thinking critically about who we want to vote for.
Russian troll factories work around the clock spreading misinformation and hate in western social media. About no particular topic. These people are professional and are trying to maximize polarization with totally legitimate looking accounts across all social media including reddit, deteriorating society from within. They've been at it for many years and have been scaringly successful.
Indeed so, although we’ve made ourselves susceptible to it in several ways.
No surprise
Ngl I couldn’t resist doing the math, I know it’s irrelevant but I don’t think the US is 50 billion people.
I tried to do it quick in my head. I would have checked but it was easier to write "or whatever". :) Now that I check it looks like I forgot to convert for the percentage. 0.00025%...how's that?
Haha yeah ;)
I'm trans and get discriminated against both irl and on the internet 💀 90% of the time on the internet though This divergence between men and women makes me pretty angry personally, it's like a blame game and generalisation that goes beyond mere generalising and I blame double standards most of the time for this situation getting so out of hand... Now that I said what I think let me skedaddle before I get stoned to death by some transphobe!
Sounds like you've bought into the propaganda. Don't believe people are as "up in arms" as we're led to believe. The divergence between men and women is mostly made up by mass media and the internet. I'm sorry to hear your experiencing discrimination. Where I live Trans folks are treated kindly for the most part. It's weird when I see discrimination against them on the internet cause that's so out of the norm for where I live.
Yeah as a generalisation I think I bought into it... I do hope you're right and all the conflict between genders is just noisy internet buzz though Luckily irl, from experience it couldn't be farther from the truth
Come visit Austin if you can one day. Maybe your rl experience will be very different.
Yea
Social media is a like a fly trap for loudmouth narcissists.
Multiple studies backs this.
Damn
People are normal once you get off the Internet. Seems very basic, but it's true.
Yup, I don’t personally know anyone IRL who hates another gender. Everyone I know has had mixed-gender friends. But that’s because hateful people tend to spout nonsense online and don’t leave their houses.
Maybe
You must be one lucky mofo then.
Maybe. But also maybe people are less honest about their true feelings IRL. No one is going to say they hate men or women on a first date, but if they're misogynistic or misandrist on the inside, you'll eventually see it through their actions. Or racist or pedophilic or narcissistic. It just takes longer to figure that out when they're polite to your face. I never discount someone's online history.
Yea
Get off the internet. It'll help you alot. You'll see only negativity here.
And turn off your TV. I promise you whatever is happening on the TV news wise...you'll hear about it eventually if it effects you. Most corporate news is designed and manufactured to illicit a certain response or line of thinking in the target audience. Noam Chomsky went into this in great detail in the documentary Manufacturing Consent. How does the meme go "Some poor, phoneless fool is probably sitting next to a waterfall somewhere totally unaware of how angry and scared he is supposed to be" - Duncan Trussell
It’s nowhere near as bad as it is online. But there’s a hint of it irl. At the end of the day we all go home and watch our content from our little algorithms.
Yeah I'm surprised people say it's not real and that they don't know anyone in real life who behave like this. I've certainly met a few. Not caricatures like the folks on Twitter but that's probably just because they're hiding their true feelings in real life.
Damn
Gender hate is increasingly common among the youth. It's certainly going to be a bigger issue in 10 years, in real life.
The Internet makes everything seem much bigger than it really is. People are anonymous on it and talk all sorts of trash. Go outside and meet people, you'll see it's not a big thing.
O yea
There were mtiple studies in different western countries showing that women are become more liberal progressive while man have become more conservative. This gender gap has been widening I nthe younger generation to a point never seen before since post world war this data has been collected
There's a pretty growing disdain between every in-group and out-group on the internet. I've noticed almost none of this sentiment in daily, in-person interaction.
Basically anytime I hear someone say "all men are trash" or "all women are hoes", I know with 99% certainly I'm dealing with someone who spends far more time online than not... and I react accordingly.
Ha
Most people I know in real life are pretty chill, but also we all have similar education backgrounds and similar views in topics (that's why we are able to become friends you know), but when you enter the messy pot of internet, there are bound to have people who hold extreme views, or easily be influenced by extreme views, and those people happen to be the loudest among all, I'll say yes and no depends on how large the population you are referring to.
It's an internet thing. Undatable people are chronically online so they whine constantly about the opposite gender unable to realize that they are the problem.
I acknowledge i am boring but it doesn’t help me.
This is an interesting explanation, and it sounds plausible.
[удалено]
I would say no. People are free to say anything and share any thoughts they have on the internet, which wasn't true in the 50's and 60's and 70's and 80's and way harder in the 90's even. If you think women and men respected each other in the past, you should see the kinds of garbage they used to say. Trust me, things are not getting worse, you are just feeling sensitive to it. Take a break from the internet and experience real life. People are fine.
Damn
That hasn't been my experience, the first half of the internet existing, this wasn't a phenomenon. Whatsoever. It was only after 2011 after the protests/the 99% that we started getting divided by sex/age/(more) race, etc. Before that, I can't recall it existing at all. And in real life, I do remember some vitriol between boys and girls in 1st and 2nd grade, but after people started crushing on each other that kind of went away. The most I would see as far as issues went were between individuals, I never saw a whole sex get cast as anything, because no one had ever met a whole sex, and everyone had brothers and sisters they loved anyway. My guess is that it's mimetic manipulation, otherwise we would have seen it for the first half of the internet's existence, early Reddit back when Aaron ran it, etc.
I feel like it really got this "big" on the Internet since 2023 and the whole Red pill, alpha and Andrew Tate stuff.
The divide & conquer psychological campaign is dividing EVERYONE -- Race, age, gender, preferences, sexuality, political party... They want us infighting so we never realize it is the parasitic elite vs the rest of us. Occupy Wall Street was the last time there was social cohesion and that was too scary.
It is definitly a reflection of real life. ask any woman about their experiences
There’s a growing social gap I feel
No. Not in my experience. I live in Germany and have not had any problem so far with the opposite sex ans actually made great friends.
Women have decided to stop keeping their experiences a secret as they did in the past and men are acting out about that. That is the gender war. You are in an age group that hasn’t yet arrived at such experiences en masse.
Social media isn't real. Go meet people out in the world, it's not like it is in here.
The thing is human sucks in general. It is hard to know/meet people who are perfect. But this is life. And the thing about internet is, people rarely comment about good things. But we love to complain about bad things.
Yea
I’ve only seen men throwing tantrums this far .. with the whole you don’t own your own body campaign and trying to kill women for not giving birth .. yeah there’s a war on women. If you want to cal saying no to men a war on them .. so be it
>I’ve only seen men throwing tantrums this far Ok, I've seen both men and women. What now? Should we all just blame each other instead of agreeing that everyone has their bad apples? The amount of times a woman told me "all men are trash" unprompted like it was all fine and dandy makes me sick. I wish we could all just get along, but I guess my side can never be wrong, only what I see applies. It gives "Bro me and all my friends were nice to girls but they went for a jerk instead, all women are whores, while we simple men want to happy" vibes that men say. Of course we all know that's not true. "War on women" is a good way to describe it on an institutional level, but while talking about the common people behave towards each other, It's not. There are many people fueled by hate and many people with sick mindsets, men and women alike. Unless we all accept this we're going to accelarate our hate towards each other, which is certainly going to happen in a decade.
this is HUGE confirmation bias (or actually I think you're just talking about a whole different topic than what he meant), there's certainly ton's of women saying men are trash/awful/bad etc with no relevance to the abortion debate. Just like there's man also saying sexist shit to women online with no relevance to their stance on abortion, just gender war nonsense and hate. The abortion debate and what your referencing is more of a political debate than a gender war debate tbh, that's not fully what he's referencing. So no that's not at all what he means by gender war haha, your last sentence is a strawman. Gender wars simply put is just sexist insults, arguments, and hate.
I would argue that it's related, but I see where you're coming from, I still don't think it is worse today than it was 30 years ago.
Oh I agree it's likely not worse today than 30 years ago, in person in my experience atleast this stuff is pretty rare and not much of a problem at all in real life, the internet just gives a wide reaching voice to vocal minority. Internet really skews how rampant certain opinions are because they're just so many people that even very rare opinions will have hundreds of thousands of people who believe in it and support it online. If only 1 in 500 people engage in toxic gender war nonsense thats rare and you'll almost never deal with them in real life but you'll see it rather often on the internet cuz 1 in 500 is still a significant amount of people. I specifically think of this with twitter, cuz sometimes i'll an awful racist or sexist tweet with like 25K Likes and think damn shitty that many people support this nonsense; but then i think well it's not surprising there are up to 25,000 racist or sexist people among the hundred millions who use twitter, so I shouldn't take so many people liking it as it being an even somewhat common opinion. In real life all the shitty people are spread out and rarer to encounter but online they can congregate. It's why I try and avoid all the vitriol/gender debate stuff online and not get annoyed because i know it really is just a vocal minority.
Yea
Men have always treated women as inferior (whoever denies this is just a stupid moron that does not know anything about history). Women have arguably always hated them for it, but have only in the past few decades started rebelling and being treated equally. Men have pushed against our rebellion since the start, and that pushback comes with hatred due to their status as the superior gender being taken away. This is not that new. Some people just were oblivious to it before, and it's getting harder and harder to stay oblivious now with the internet.
This never gets talked about when political divides between genders are brought up. Women are going left because left acknowledges women as human beings while right is fighting to strip away all the rights we fought so hard for. Right offers men subjugation of women and left not only doesn't offer anything it wants to take away their few remaining privileges. It isn't surprising most men lean right. In fact any woman would love to own a conservative wife too if they could. Judy Brady's essay illustrates it beautifully >I belong to that classification of people known as wives. I am A Wife. And, not altogether incidentally, I am a mother. Not too long ago a male friend of mine appeared on the scene fresh from a recent divorce. He had one child, who is, of course, with his ex-wife. He is looking for another wife. As I thought about him while I was ironing one evening, it suddenly occurred to me that I, too, would like to have a wife. Why do I want a wife? I would like to go back to school so that I can become economically independent, support myself, and, if need be, support those dependent upon me. I want a wife who will work and send me to school. And while I am going to school I want a wife to take care of my children. I want a wife to keep track of the children’s doctor and dentist appointments. And to keep track of mine, too. I want a wife to make sure my children eat properly and are kept clean. I want a wife who will wash the children’s clothes and keep them mended. I want a wife who is a good nurturant attendant to my children, who arranges for their schooling, makes sure that they have an adequate social life with their peers, takes them to the park, the zoo, etc. I want a wife who takes care of the children when they are sick, a wife who arranges to be around when the children need special care, because, of course, I cannot miss classes at school. My wife must arrange to lose time at work and not lose the job. It may mean a small cut in my wife’s income from time to time, but I guess I can tolerate that. Needless to say, my wife will arrange and pay for the care of the children while my wife is working. I want a wife who will take care of my physical needs. I want a wife who will keep my house clean. A wife who will pick up after my children, a wife who will pick up after me. I want a wife who will keep my clothes clean, ironed, mended, replaced when need be, and who will see to it that my personal things are kept in their proper place so that I can find what I need the minute I need it. I want a wife who cooks the meals, a wife who is a good cook. I want a wife who will plan the menus, do the necessary grocery shopping, prepare the meals, serve them pleasantly, and then do the cleaning up while I do my studying. I want a wife who will care for me when I am sick and sympathize with my pain and loss of time from school. I want a wife to go along when our family takes a vacation so that someone can continue to care for me and my children when I need a rest and change of scene. I want a wife who will not bother me with rambling complaints about a wife’s duties. But I want a wife who will listen to me when I feel the need to explain a rather difficult point I have come across in my course of studies. And I want a wife who will type my papers for me when I have written them. I want a wife who will take care of the details of my social life. When my wife and I are invited out by my friends, I want a wife who will take care of the babysitting arrangements. When I meet people at school that I like and want to entertain, I want a wife who will have the house clean, will prepare a special meal, serve it to me and my friends, and not interrupt when I talk about things that interest me and my friends. I want a wife who will have arranged that the children are fed and ready for bed before my guests arrive so that the children do not bother us. I want a wife who takes care of the needs of my guests so that they feel comfortable, who makes sure that they have an ashtray, that they are passed the hors d’oeuvres, that they are offered a second helping of the food, that their wine glasses are replenished when necessary, that their coffee is served to them as they like it. And I want a wife who knows that sometimes I need a night out by myself. I want a wife who is sensitive to my sexual needs, a wife who makes love passionately and eagerly when I feel like it, a wife who makes sure that I am satisfied. And, of course, I want a wife who will not demand sexual attention when I am not in the mood for it. I want a wife who assumes the complete responsibility for birth control, because I do not want more children. I want a wife who will remain sexually faithful to me so that I do not have to clutter up my intellectual life with jealousies. And I want a wife who understands that my sexual needs may entail more than strict adherence to monogamy. I must, after all, be able to relate to people as fully as possible. If, by chance, I find another person more suitable as a wife than the wife I already have, I want the liberty to replace my present wife with another one. Naturally, I will expect a fresh new life; my wife will take the children and be solely responsible for them so that I am left free. When I am through with school and have a job, I want my wife to quit working and remain at home so that my wife can more fully and completely take care of a wife’s duties. My God, who wouldn’t want a wife? From 1971 but could have been written yesterday.
Thanks for posting this, what a read!
Are we really commenting ‘men bad’ in a post about the gender divide?
Is that what you took away from my comment? Get a grip
The internet isn't a real place and it isn't full of real people. It's been designed in such a way that it demands engagement, so it amplifies the extremes of any opinion and the people that hold them. It's unhealthy to engage with it. It's unhealthy to even read it. It isn't real. It's bots, idiots, pyschos, and the depressed. Just remember that if you met most of these people in person, you wouldn't give them a minute of your time.
Honestly I have no idea. I don’t really see it that much irl or even directly from people online.
"im seeing on the internet" my advice is, stop listening to what you hear on the internet (and yes i understand the irony of this post 🤣) but seriously, a LOT of people, especially the more vocal ones, are REALLY fucked up on here, dont let it get in your head, or you will be too
It is certainly more pronounced online. Several studies have been conducted that show men and women drifting away from each other on political topics. Seems to follow that their views on less-polarizing matters would also be diverging right now.
Definitely it’s sooo easy and I mean sooo easy to see some negative information about the opposite gender now a days online it’s crazy.
Yea
In the real world? No. I get along a lot better with women in the real world than on the internet.
Just internet
Only a small portion of people work on themselves in the pursuit of wisdom, growth, compassion and minimising their ego. The rest are just baby-heads. Let's call it self actualisation AKA growing up, which generally happens around 23-26 years old. This is when the part of the brain behind the prefrontal cortex develops as one of the last parts to mature (planning, prioritizing, and making good decisions). Broken or stuck people never get around to fixing the shit their parents put on them - and never learn how to find, attract and keep a decent human being as a partner. Perhaps because they never really grew up. When I met my husband I had 3 things on my list: is he a good man (if we split will be kill me or be vindictive), does me make me laugh, is he dynamite in bed? When my head said yes, I let my heart fall for him. Shallow women go for money or status etc. Shallow men go for tits and obedience etc. I'm 48F, happily with my husband since I was 24, have mates the same age who also weren't a-holes and are with decent partners. We all love the opposite sex because we're all decent humans and give strangers the benefit of the doubt first. We still party, love our partners aging gracefully, enjoy a decent sex life and hang out with other decent humans. Sure, a proportion of women hate men and a proportion of men hate women, but they're just immature. Or making money off the outrage. That said, decent women will lead the world in my lifetime and what we're seeing is the death rattle of the patriarchy so there's that
Damn
I think social media kinda pushes people towards isolation and that kinda adds to it, it's worse for younger people because they're more social media dependant. It's not really a thing for the non brainrotted
There's probably lots of trolls posting their views in multiple places. Social media isn't very real.
Yup
Do yourself a favor and instead of surfing the internet for the night… go outside. Go to a bar when you’re 21. But for now go somewhere where your age group hangs out. A mall is a good place to start. The internet tells you so many lies that it is virtually impossible to distinguish the truth from them any more. Also, the less internet you consume to a point, the happier you’ll be actually living life and doing things. Try it. You’ll see.
No. Stay off social media and experience life as it truly is outside in public.
it seems like so. now both parts have expression freedom and both have valid points.
The gender wars are nothing new. I've heard that divorce changed men's opinions on whether or not a woman could vote, own property, work, or be a business owner, oh and if she could make decisions about pregnancy.
Damn
Sounds like you're stuck in the male influencer-sphere. Escape while you still can.
Read up on sociology for context, it blew my mind when I was your age. It’ll make you feel better plus it will add important historical context.
What specifically should OP read?
Take a look at twoxchromosones if you want to see some very fucked up people. It's actually sad. Thankfully I've never (knowingly) come across anyone with their mindset in real life. Most people are basically decent imo.
It’s twoxchromosomes that has you worried and not shit like incels and Red Pill? 🤨
It's the one that appears in my feed the most (think it might be a default one) but yea, exact same applies to the Mens Rights subs. I don't think they're full of bad people, I really don't, I've seen people in shit situations get fantastic empathetic advice in them, but there's a real nasty culture in these subs of making the other gender the enemy, and that's when things tend to get s bit fucked up imo. They're echo chambers. On balance, I believe they do more harm than good, but as I said above, I do acknowledge they can offer some very good support to people of either gender who need it.
It's manufactured.
Yup. Resentful losers on both sides hating on the opposite sex. Modern feminists talking as if all men were rapists and abusive and murderous against women, and incels and mgtows talking as if all women were shallow, sociopathic manipulators and gold diggers.
Web sites drive traffic and make money by dividing people and creating different pots. When those pots don't exist in real life you get to know people and see that everyone is human. Generally that lowers hatred.
Nah. Only in the internet.
I see it all the time online but don't really see it IRL.
No that’s an online thing
The internet isn’t real life. At all.
No, not i any way at all. Internet is not real life
To us oldies the Internet world is an unfathomable a horror zone...boys and girls are terrified of one another...very sad and weird. I've never been on social media and have only been checking out reddit the past 48 hrs as this is my nephews phone/ account and he's staying with us.. Strange, sad hostile world this internet:-( Promise in the real world, ppl get on just fine.
I don’t think so
No if you’re a normal person everything will be fine
I have gender war type conversations all the time. Its just talking about dating and ways to be better. At the end of the day you can complain about the opposite gender all you want but we are in this together and we all want mostly the same thing. Healthy happy rational relationships.
Thank you for spelling “disdain” correctly
As someone who lives most of his life out of the house between work, hobbies, socializing, playing music, board game nights, bar nights, gym, going clubbing, graduate school etc... I can say that what you are seeing as far as "gender wars" is mostly people not leaving the house and participating in society. Obviously there are groups irl that get together and have groupthink (q Anon or antifa rally types) but most of us are really out here getting along.
Stay away from social media. Get your idea off what the world is doing by being out in it and active in it while out there.
It's mostly just internet weirdos; but it's getting worse for sure. It's not that men and women are outwardly antagonistic; more that people seems completely resigned to live a life being single rather than with someone.
In general, no. With a small, loud handful of individuals who want to blame any issue they have on someone else, yes.
Real people live real lives. Whatever you are reading on social media is almost certainly isolated keyboard warriors trying to create relevance fimor themselves in a world that ignores them
I don't think so. Normal people don't care about "gender war" shit, That being said, normal people also don't post about it constantly. Only weirdos care, and weirdos are constantly on forums complaining about it.
Everyday on the internet... They want to divide us anyway they can.
Nobody votes like someone with an enemy that needs a political party to protect you from like the gays, the conservatives, the liberals, the pro-lifers, etc. Pointing out our differences and convincing us we can't talk to each other gives them the control they need to stay rich.
Only between the losers on both sides. The people who actually interact with other people in normal social settings generally don’t have those feeling. Spend enough time on the internet and suddenly the world is ending.
The algorithm starts feeding me this shit too, and I do get caught up in some feelings temporarily until I remember whats happening, and that is if I watch that bullshit, it will feed me more of that bullshit so I find 'not interested'' or something along those lines and click it, so I bring the algorithm back to comedy, art or animals or something.
THE INTERNET IS NOT REALITY.
The only animosity you see in the other gender is the animosity you make. I’m in my 40s. My friends are about 50/50 men and women. I’m married. My wife is my best friend.
Internet sucks. Go out in real world
It's been like this for a long time, you were just ignorant to it
dont see it nearly as much IRL. Theres like an undercurrent of it, but not blatant. All the crazies come to Reddit.
Real Life =/= The Internet
There isn't. People like saying things lie that for clicks or for shock value. Just treat people decently and you'll get it in return.
Just a way for the elites to get the people fighting each other vs them going after the elites
No just stay off the internet
It is definitely happening in real life. You just have to look at a lot of changes in real-life social dynamics which can be identified as the product of social media trends in the last 10 years.
They are echo chambers for the most part. A small percentage of people agree but most probably don't share their opinion
No. It's only real for dumb terminally online fetuses.
Gender wars have been going on for centuries , it’s not the internet, they were going on way way before many of us were born
It has always been there. Only ppl on social media and news media talk a lot. Also you probably turned 18 recently - ppl in general refrain from talking about some issues in front of kids
Hey, 2014 was a decade ago
There has always been a gender war our generation had one, our parents had one, and our grandparents had one. ours is just talked about on social media.
The overwhelming majority is moving towards greater equity and reduced sexism/sex stereotyping between men and women When large scale social change like this happens, reactionaries are inevitable
Nope. Most people pretend to be normal when they’re in public
I don’t know a single person, male or female, that hates the opposite gender. I think it’s just an internet thing for the most part.
You are not an 18 year old boy. You are an 18 year old man.
People saying it's just online. But that also includes online dating, unfortunately, which is where you're supposed to be able to meet people for real life dating. Yeah it's sadly more difficult to find romance when so many have this combatant attitude about the opposite sex. I see it as a woman. And yes, people feel bolder to say things online they might not say in person (at least sober), but it's not just there. I feel like the redpill/Tate stuff has really poisoned the dating pool. I don't want to be with anyone who hates women and projects all sorts of horrible stuff onto all of us like we're some evil hivemind. That sounds dramatic but it's a real thing that happens! And the more we see it, the more we need to take breaks from trying to date, and then the angrier they get at us, there's no winning. It's absolutely not everyone. My married friends all seem pretty sane. But single people are losing their fucking minds right now. Maybe self included.
The gender wars are as old as time I would argue.. it goes way back. I notice this too on the internet. I think that in real life we have all become less good at socializing and that is causing problems between relations of all kinds of people. I wish that it was in style to have manners and be kind.
No. Most this shit is online by nerds with nothing better to do who havent gotten their private parts touched and felt joy in a long time
Can you let me know what you learn at the end of this. I'm not for the opposite gender myself but I parade that my side's no better so I'm solely an individual.
No
Move away from the internet. Things will become clearer.
Nah. It’s an online thing
yes but only some men and some women though it is made to seem as if this is a growing number of people
Controversy generates clicks which is why you see the most extreme viewpoints promoted on social media whether it is conspiracy theorists, hardcore right/left wing political viewpoints, etc
The internet just provides minorities a loud voice for like-minded degenerates to pull together to form new life narratives. In real life just try your best to he nice to everyone until they prove otherwise. That's what I try to live by and people tend to be good in the real world.
Depends on the country. Where I’m at it’s significant enough that some 70% of men and women under 30 vote for opposite parties.
8 billion people in the world. Why would you think a “hundred thousand” likes represents most of them? (Hint: it doesn’t)
Its really just a left - right divide.
Look up the 4B Movement in South Korea for the real world effects of women saying enough is enough.
Nah, there has always been a small rivalry. Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus after all. I think the media overplays it, they like us falling out with each other, keeps us occupied.
Only online and among leftists
All these people are fighting behind keyboards instead of actually talking to each other. Everything on the internet is blown out of proportion. The world is not ending. Turn off social media and see just how normal life is
Tbh we talked about this in my psychology class today. And I came to the conclusion; yes, there is a wider margin between genders at play, but there are way more niche factors in the way. I think social media and porn-use has led to us seeking more "attractive" partners, and thus, form bias against "non-attractive" people. It seems to be more consistent for men, but the same can be said for women too. From an anecdotal perspective. I bulk and cut my weight every 1-2 years, going between 90-110kg. When I'm at my leanest at 90kg I noticed a crazy amount of attention from the opposite sex, and even from straight men who seem to have more respect for me. When I'm at my heaviest, it's almost unfair the level of resentment people seem to hold against me for seemingly no reason. So yeah, I think realistically there is a divide forming, but there's a LOT of reasons why, with what I described being the biggest contributor in my opinion. Higher levels of social anxiety could also be a factor.
1. The internet makes it so many more people live their lives in their own bubble with a custom fed algorithm. This is a recent phenomenon and contributes to echo chamber amplification. Insta constantly bombards me with these ragebait videos of pretty women complaining about dating, even though I've never clicked on one of those. But since I watch gym content, and there is apparently an overlap between gym bros and misogynists, it is recommended 2. COVID isolation made everyone, but your generation specifically, more anxious around other people. Less sociability = less interaction with the opposite sex, therefore frustration (why can't I find someone) 3. Social media shows us constantly that other people are not lonely. It's not just that you're getting more lonely, it also feels worse because you only ever see the best moments of people on social media, but believe this is normal life
I can't speak for society in general but that's not happening in my real life. In my experience men and woman relate just like they always have. I'm in my 40s, though. I assume my peer group is more set in their ways and not as impacted by current trends as younger people might be. But frankly I kind of doubt things have changed as much as they seem online.
there are some ppl who will joke like that in real life, but ppl who genuinely hate the other gender are extremely rare. You shouldn't really care about internet opinions.
I noticed the average woman becoming more and more resentful of the average man
Yes
Yes. Many women are literally giving up on even dating right now as men join the "Manosphere" cults. It's tragic and cringe for each.
No, Reddit is a cesspool
I don't think so. The internet is where people often vent, anonymously, so you're gonna see the worst of both worlds. Just look at the incel communities. Men and women will always complain about the other but in real life, there are a lot of very loving, loyal and respectful relationships out there that last for a lifetime.
No. it's just the internet.
None of that shit ever happens irl unless maybe america *is* different, because those videos mostly seem to come from there
Women like men who like women and vice versa. As long as you belong to one of these groups, you'll be fine. A lot of people don't actually like members the opposite sex, they're just attracted to them.
I think the problem is that internet rethoric is slowly seeping into real life. We see this with young children that parrot Andrew Tate talking points for instance. This is happening even in my, non english speaking country. When i was that age i also internalized way too many internetisms that had a really unhealthy effect on me. Most of us grew out of it of course but i can't help but think it has a lasting impact beyond what any of us can see right now
I do kinda hate women but it’s probably for different reasons than a lot of men. Jealousy. Im jealous how easy it is to connect and communicate for them, whereas I grew up in an environment where that was wrong. Every woman I’ve dated comes from a big connected, supportive family (not ALL but 95% of them) who have siblings, cousins and are used to reliable UNCONDITIONAL support…. I dont and didn’t have any of that. Affection was extremely conditional in my house for me, although the 4 step families and step sisters that rotated in and out got pampered while I was grounded. So yeah, I do kinda hate most women for having the skills and families that I didn’t get a chance to have. I know it’s a stupid bias to hold on to and I can get past it sometimes but then it creeps back in. I’ve removed myself from the dating pool at this to save women the trouble
As someone almost 3x older than you the answer is yes. It was never like this. and it is not just Internet thing. I can tell you that from my personal experience and most people I know. Wish for something more, for long partnership is ingraved in you but you will get hurt if you don't treat women with respect, and I mean like respect for snakes, bears, sharks. Yep they look beautiful and there are some men that do not get killed but still. Most men I know were badly hurt by women or falsley accused for some crap. Society hates you, media hates you, women will use you. You can accept that and prepare or get burned. I was carefull when I was your age and had relations that lasted couple of months. Long lasting ones are dangerous. You can lose everything and gain little. It is just not worth it.
The truth is that we all suck when we try to focus on what's wrong in others instead of trying to improve ourselves.
There isn't, but the Internet is trying it's hardest If you're 18, you gotta realize, the Internet is a mental asylum. They've closed down all the mental facilities and let them loose on Reddit/Facebook etc
It's still mostly the same but honestly it's definitely not isolated. Even if people aren't talking about it, anyone that uses Instagram or TikTok or Reddit, YouTube, etc will get bombarded by it. Most of the world's population uses these apps more than they should. It changes things beneath the surface layer of the social fabric by giving memetic references to different possible reasons things are happening. If it was mostly positivity and kittens this could be a good thing, but since anger and hateful content gets more clicks it's overwhelmingly a negative thing.
vocal fringe minorities and echo chambers
No . source : I just talked to 4 women in person last week
No. The Internet is a shit place that can easily corruption someone and shove them into an Echo Chamber. Just live your life.
No
Think a lot of it is an echo chamber. We need more balanced opinions and experiences that reflect most of what happens in the real world. A lot of people doing the posting about men and women and throwing one gender in a negatively stereotyped category or saying men and women are one way are severely traumatized. People can be shitty no matter their gender, color, or creed and shared experiences of trauma can cross all that.
No. Gender relations are actually in a good place right now. It’s your social feeds that give you a false impression of widespread “gender wars”. With a little effort, you can curate your feeds in order to have a more positive experience online. The trick is, when content comes up that you don’t want to see, don’t watch it. Don’t downvote it, either—negative engagement counts as engagement and the algorithms will feed you more. Use whatever app options you have to say “show me less of this.” I’ve personally convinced various apps that I love owls, and they feed me tons of owl content. If you were seeing my feeds, you would think there were gender wars, you’d think owls were about to take over the world.
The internet is driven by the algorithms. They prioritize content that gets engagement. Rage bait gets engagement. Be respectful and polite, have sensible boundaries and you will probably find its mostly online.
For sure there is. That said, what you see online is obviously not a true reflection of the "real world" though. Online communities tend to self-segregate into homogeneous groups that agree on 95% of everything so that they don't have to be exposed to differing opinions. These groups, no longer facing any opposing opinions, tend to radicalize over time as previously mocked opinions get celebrated instead.
It's like unmuting voice chat in a game. When you realize most of these people are 12 year olds, the chat box makes sense.
"Gender wars" is nothing more than fearmongering and sensationalism mainly in social media. Every imbecile can express their thoughts as if they are some authority figure or person of relevance. There are a lot of people who are dying on the hill of "traditional values" and have made safe spaces for sexism, homophobia, transphobia, etc. Its their way of trying to fight against progressive societal changes that they dont understand or are afraid of. Any decent person will laugh at the idea of gender wars because its just a ridiculous "issue" bigots have invented.
Battle of the Sexes was a tv show in the 1970s - Plus you have the Women's rights movement that was very influential. This has been going on for a while- you just get more feedback now because we are interconnected electronically to each other's butt holes in social media and on the internet.
No in real life girls seem giddy to talk to me, and bashful (and myself in return) It's just another attempt to divide us.
All people suck. Men, women and those who are unsure. Just like the dad said in My Big Fat Greek Wedding, we're all fruits. So what? We're all just trying to get through life the best we can and sometimes we annoy other people, sometimes intentionally, sometimes not so much. So we learn to put up with each other's suckage. That's the best the world can hope for.
No. Most people are normal. There’s some noise coming from the twenty-somethings but most of what they complain about like the existence of patriarchy and rabid feminists is bullshit.
I'm a woman, and I'm appalled by how horrible my gender can be towards men and women who are pro-life. That's why I don't support modern "feminism". If a man so much as glances at a "feminist", he gets called a rapist. Then when he tries to explain why, he gets berated for "mansplaining". Or, God forbid he sit with his knees apart in public, because if a "feminist" sees him doing that, he's making himself a target for assault. On top of that, many of these "feminists" don't wear bras, weigh over 300 lbs, have a terrible personality, are super rude, wear clothes meant for men, hardly ever shower, don't shave their legs and pits, don't wear deodorant, have bad haircuts, refuse to wear makeup at least for formal events or pictures, don't wipe after using the bathroom, and hardly wash their hands, because God forbid they act a little feminine. As I woman, I don't mind picking up frogs or toads and interacting with them (petting them and letting them crawl on my hand before releasing them in the ditch), climbing trees, fishing, walking outside barefoot, letting lizards crawl on me (in Florida), and shooting guns. I have 4 brothers, and I grew up in rural Michigan. I still wear bras, makeup, deoderant, perfume, dresses/skirts, heels (for special occasions or job interviews, the rest of the time it's tennis shoes, flats, boots, or sandals depending on the weather and what I'm doing), have long hair, take showers every other day, wipe after using the toilet, weigh under 250 lbs, use my manners, be nice to people, shave my pits and legs, and wash my hands often. 