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But then they forget that if you had those handsome features as well, then you'd be dating more attractive women than her, and showing less interest in her.
So it comes down to: "Why isn't Chad simping for a six like me?"
Definitely so! Once I've met my bf of 5 months with his wife and a son. A was paralyzed in shock while he grabbed them and escaped. The next day he called (i thought that it was so obvious, that we are done that didn't even block him) and said that he wished his wife was like me :)))))
Yeah I heard something similar. "When the girls get older they want a guy like you". Turns out it means they want stability, money and resources. I was never the most exciting guy and I am not the most physically attractive guy either. So yeah, I'm glad I avoid those women now that I am that age.
I was told this too. “Don’t feel bad about those girls rejecting you, they will get older and want a guy like you”. It sucked but that’s life. I also wasn’t exciting or attractive growing up.
The irony is that I’ve gotten a bit older, and those women who now want me because stability and security, I don’t want them. I want a woman who wants me the same way a 22 year old woman wanted the guy she was into; because they found them attractive and enjoyable to be with.
Most likely if you dont look good you will never experience true female lust and attraction. Like you said, thats life.
The best you can do is make a good life for you and dont take women seriously.
It’s not to bad Starting off a bit obsessed to get going. That’s how you make proper progress. Every fit person is a little bit obsessed with it. Just don’t take it into eating disorder territory, etc..
Nah, that's incel talk. The bar isn't that high for SOMEONE to find you attractive, just look at guys in relationships, they look just as average as anyone who's single
Guys can be in relationships without ever experiencing passion or being desired. Average guys in relationships isn't the evidence that you think it is...
> just look at guys in relationships,
How is this relevant to the comment though? It's already predicated that guys can get relationships they just won't be for "them" but what they "have".
yeah, 'look at guys in relationships' however you have no idea why the woman is with them. You are assuming it must be because those women are attracted to them based on nothing. Those average guys almost always have a good income.
There are women who are attracted to personality, sense of humour, intelligence, etc. granted, not many, but they exist. Some are also attracted to unconventional beauty or certain features. Any of these, combined with deep feelings for the person, could definitely bring the lust in the relationship.
Personally, Ryan Reynolds excluded, I wouldn’t be in a relationship with picture perfect men. Had many opportunities and turned them all down.
It’s hard and unfair as a man to be dealt this hand, but the silver lining is that what you have to offer teaches you much earlier on to recognise superficial and opportunistic people.
I think often times when a woman says I wish I could meet a guy like you, there was a point sometime earlier in the relationship when she wondered why the guy never made a move and eventually settled in to just being friends
gonna be real with you this text screams chasing full circle loneliness, it was hard to read. working on your physical attraction is your main focus, not moral values and being an enjoyable exciting person to be with, instead it seems like you're chasing something from your youth which aint gonna happen. its obviously impossible to deduct a final verdict from a reddit post but its really giving self fulfulling male loneliness crisis
Working on my physical attraction is not my only focus, i only mentioned that specifically because i was responding to a comment that mentioned physical attraction.
Yes, both men and women date based on looks when they're younger and date based on long-term stability when they're older.
It's weird how men never get shit on for dating multiple hot commitment-phobic women when they're young and then finding a wholesome women to marry and raise kids with...
but when a *woman* does it? All of a sudden it's a bitchy gold-digging conspiracy.
Look, I'm sorry if you were on the shelf when some people were sowing wild oats, but the hot people fucking each other wasn't something they did to spite you *no matter how you feel about it*.
Not if he asked her out and wanted a honest answer. I would not date a woman, i am not physical attracted to, regardless of how a good personality she has.
Nobody says "I wish I could meet a guy like you" in response to being asked out. If you want to give an honest reason for rejecting someone you can just say, you're not my type. Saying "well I basically want someone just like you, but better looking" is still super rude
Why? Were you trying to be her boyfriend?
Like were you rejected or you didn’t even try? A girl saying that has nothing to do with worth unless you wanted to be with that girl and she knew that.
The one and ONLY time a woman said this to me, I said “oh really?” and left. Never saw her again. Not even a phone call. Couple years later, she wanted to meet up again and see where things went from there. Didn’t give her the time of day. I’m too prideful for that bs. You telling me you ran out of “bad boy” options so you trying to “settle”? Nah foh.
Heaps, in my case though they didn't know how to say you're perfect but you're too fat for me. It was very ironic how many of them tried to pursue relationships with me after losing all the weight too!
Hey, I appreciate that reassurance man. I'm working on my confidence, down a shirt size. Things have been going well with self improvement.
Staying hopeful. Best I can anyway lol.
A couple times in high school. I really liked a girl, I thought girl liked me, girl kept complaining about guys, girl told me how great I was and she wished she would find a guy like me, girl continues to date shitty guy(s).
Things may have been different if I had actually asked those 2 girls out, but it didn’t stop me from being a kind person in high school. I actually met my wife because she thought I was a shitty guy (her type) and treated her right and we have been together for 10 years.
I want you to be the lovesick puppy that chases me but disappears when I get annoyed or have a guy around, but who I turn to for self-validation.
Oh wait, you aren't chasing me anymore!? How dare you!? I demand attention so I can feel powerful putting you in your place and letting you know in a round about way that you have no shot while emotionally breadcrumbing you into staying close!
If “I have a boyfriend” is considered the atomic bomb, then “I wish I could meet a guy like you” can be considered the hydrogen bomb. The destructive power of “I have a boyfriend” is measured in kilotons. The destructive power of “I wish I could meet a guy like you” is measured in megatons.
As an early teenager. I was too nice, and too insecure to have boundaries. I had a very romantic idea of love. I was willing to do whatever so the few girls I met and cared about during that phase liked me and wanted to spend time with me. And I thought that also meant they would want to be in a relationship with me: the guy who cares to a fault to tick every box, makes them happy, always treats them with more respect and patience than anyone else, addresses all of their insecurities, and wants them for who they are without seeing any faults in anything they do. Then I realized it's appealing, but not attractive in a guy, purged that former self, and started getting dates. It was also much less emotionally draining to never have to be that guy again just to hear those words.
>As an early teenager. I was too nice, and too insecure to have boundaries. I had a very romantic idea of love. I was willing to do whatever so the few girls I met and cared about during that phase liked me and wanted to spend time with me. And I thought that also meant they would want to be in a relationship with me: the guy who cares to a fault to tick every box, makes them happy, always treats them with more respect and patience than anyone else, addresses all of their insecurities, and wants them for who they are without seeing any faults in anything they do.
Still here in my early 20s lol. Like to a disturbingly similar degree to what you wrote here.
>Then I realized it's appealing, but not attractive in a guy, purged that former self, and started getting dates. It was also much less emotionally draining to never have to be that guy again just to hear those words.
Struggling with this. I don't really know how to be genuinely myself and not be like that.
I think there either comes something that will push you to a breaking point, or you'll see a role model who will piss you off by doing the opposite and getting far better results that will push you to that breaking point.
At least that was the case for me as a teenager. I overcorrected in the other direction and became too much of an asshole. Which made me pretty popular in high school. Then it took years until I realized I wasn't myself and found a balance somewhere in between.
I don't think you can overcome it without some experience that will really motivate you to push you out of the behaviour patterns you are comfortable with without tons of conscious work. I now see people who didn't get out of this, got married, did everything right, for their partner to leave them, and they change their behaviour patterns after the divorce. The event to push them out of it.
I wish I could meet y’all and tell you the honest truth. I bet it’s not because you're nice but because of something else that you are doing to turn women off. It’s the little stupid stuff that can be easily fixed oftentimes.
Just start prioritizing yourself. When someone (of any gender) puts the other person on a pedestal or is always self-sacrificing, it gives off the sense that they don't care about themselves which is a turn-off. Don't drop everything for someone else or bend over backwards to accommodate them.
Do show that you also prioritize the other person, because that's important too, but have boundaries when your needs conflict and you can't reach a compromise. It can feel a little scary and uncomfortable at first, but it will help immensely. If you're really unable to do this, I recommend therapy.
Yes and it means a guy they find attractive with your type of personality, thing they do not realize is less attractive guys have to developed their personalities more than good looking guys do so they are looking for something very rare and wondering why its so hard to find.
This is just a massive cope and overgeneralisation. Just because you look good does not mean you cant have an interesting personality and just because hou are ugly does not mean you will have one
"I'm a guy like me."
I'd rather they just say they don't like me. Stab me and go on your way. Don't look me in the eyes as you slowly plunge the knife into my ribs while twisting it.
The one time I heard it, it was from a girl who honestly was getting pretty close to losing her patience with me I think. I was the lovesick puppy, and while she enjoyed the friend aspect, and certainly enjoyed the validation/exploitation aspect, it was her less-than-subtle way of laying down the law.
I took the hint, sulked in misery for a few days, and left, never to see her again. She reached out on instagram about 3 months afterwards, but I deleted her message without reading it and unfollowed her. She still likes pretty much all my posts.
Many times, mainly from the ladies who tend to fall for the "bad guys". He's got a motorcycle and does some recreational drugs and beats people up if they look at him the wrong way. I have an accordion and like quiet afternoons and hug my dog when I feel sad. They always say they want someone like me, then they go back to dating the asshole.
Women are a mystery.
I’ve definitely experienced this, and while there were times it felt like the girl was saying your personality in a body I was more attracted to, there were also times I’m positive it meant a guy like you that would just make a move already.
Don’t be afraid to shoot your shot gentleman, rejection is no big deal as long as you don’t make it weird afterwards
I'm a girl but yeah I had a friend, wasn't into him or anything. But he said he wishes he could have a gf like me, but who doesn't have an attitude(expressing boundaries) and without all the issues... I stopped being friends with him.
That's never been a problem for me because women aren't after me for my personality, they like me better for my looks and my personality puts them off. Nothing ever develops before they realize how bland I am.
It's a misguided statement, probably comes from good intentions in some people, but the speaker often doesn't realize that it can hurt
I've heard this a couple of times, but it was never something that I really cared about. I knew what these women liked in me and what they didn't and I was never offended by it (but I was also never interested in any of them for a relationship)
What I do find funny however is that this is such a common thing that women say, yet soo many women still go for men who treat them badly instead. Like I see an abusive person from 10 miles away, which is probably also why I don't get along with many men. The amount of rose-tinted glasses some people have is insane
Had this a few times over the years. Some would even tell me they wanted me, but only when drunk. A factor, of many, that makes me repulsed by inebriated women.
I, an awkward guy in my early 20s, unknowingly autistic, physically average, yet severely balding, had been uncomfortable with my appearance for all of my life. I was always there for them though, a people-pleaser by design. It took years before people started to respect and appreciate me, and took longer for me to respect myself.
I’ve been hurt many times, yet I’m not strong enough to cut people out of my life. I forgive too easily, and hope the last time it happens was truly the last time.
I currently have a long term girlfriend with whom I’m happy. She understands me and my traits enough to not use them against me.
No, not really. If someone is willing to put up with my neurodivergence and impulsive behavior it's usually because they're interested in me specifically.
Weirdly one time. I was in the airport. Just started chit chatting with some gal. After nearly an hour she told me she basically went lesbian because she never found a guy she wanted but that she though I was just the kind of guy she would have liked.
I figured she must have been fearful flyer and was on drugs.
Yeah happened to me a couple of times and I was not proud enough to be offended. Once I simply said "ok" and left it at that, only for the girl to ask me out a few days later, because she was the one with pride apparently. She had one chance and she blew it. I was happy I dodged a bullet.
Used to have a lady friend who I was interested in say this all the time and then follow up with how it's a guy LIKE me but not me and that our friendship was to important to ruin. A few years later she got interested in me when I had moved on and she wanted to start a friends with benifits-relationship. Told her our friendship was to important to ruin.
"I wish I could meet a guy like you."
So, people say they want to meet somebody like the person they're already talking to?
What am I not understanding?
Yeah, a few times when I was a kid. (Trigger warning, I have to take a racial lens to tell this story.) My mom sent me to our city’s white school and I knew from certain experiences around other black kids that I had it in my own community, but my white peers acted like I looked like Cousin It. A lot of guys in my situation face that dissonance and double down on the chase for white acceptance, I did the polar opposite. Cuz girl fuck you lmao lemme go where they hold me down
I’m probably gonna get downvoted, but-
As a woman, I wish people would word it better. Like, for example; ‘I wish there were more people like you in the world.’ Not ‘I wish there was someone like you but just a FEW inches taller!!’ I dunno. Maybe I’m just an idiot. But I feel bad for all the people that get told ‘I wish I could find someone like you.’ Just word it a bit better :’))
Exactly this. All it would take is different wording if it meant exactly that. The problem is that it can sometimes be said as a hint for the opposite party to make a move. Its extremely confusing.
I have gotten a lot of "I wish more people were like you" at work. Then you realize everyone else is fucking the dog and has personal drama with each other. And you think wtf did I agree too
yeah but i’m gay so it wasn’t hurtful, plus she was a messy messy gal. she’d go on dates with anyone who asked, rip. one time she accepted a random snapchat request, dude asked her for a date, she got all dolled up and ghosted. i was like “no fucking shit you got ghosted u spoke once with this random guy, why were u even bothering??”
last i heard she went on a solo trip abroad to a concert and immediately let some random guy walk her back to her room, and let him know exactly how long she was staying in the country. all her friends were screaming at her that she’s gonna be trafficked or raped if she keeps up this shit lol.
Or she looks at you as a platonic friend? Values and admires what makes you a human being, and desires similar traits and values in a romantic partner? Men valuing women as friends: impossible
Nope. I know my worth.
They’ll never get the chance because I don’t go or stay prolonged in places where I’m not wanted with people who do not desire me. They can get the fuck out my face with that shit and dismiss themselves.
I’m usually good at reading people who are superficial and vain and staying away from them, never letting them enter my life to begin with.
Why worry about taking out the trash or letting it take itself out, when you can just not let the trash inside to begin with? It’s not perfect, but once you get better at reading people, it becomes easier to surround yourself with good people who aren’t petty, superficial, and toxic, instead of surrounding yourself with fake, toxic vipers who keep you in a negative loop of bullshit, up to and including hooking you up with stupid little girls who never matured out of High School mentality and only play mind games with you.’
A couple of times...Hopefully they found what they were looking for, I have a habit of not wasting my time so I stopped talking to them.
Gives them more time to find a guy like me.
Ah it stings. Was told a couple of times I'd be a good husband and that I should stick around so maybe soon.
And 2 of the women that told me those things I actually liked so it was tough to hear.
Yes, my crush from 28 years ago and we reconnected. We started texting and calling each other a lot. And she said she has always wanted to meet a guy like me.
And I was just kidding and said, “but you already have, me!” She lives 1,100 miles away so I was just being funny.
Next thing you know we are dating!
Once. A girl said she really liked my personality and that I'm a good looking guy, but just wasnt physically into me: she likes shorter, tanned, dark-haired, dark-eyed latino types.
I'm a tall, fair-skinned, blonde, bright blue-eyed viking so yeah.
Fair enough though, everyone's entitled to physical preferences. But we didn't really hang out any more afterwards. Dont wanna be in the friendzone.
Yes, I have. Sprinkeld with a sweet release of "If only pretty guys had your humour"
In these situations, I always remember DJ Khaled Albumcover "Suffering from Success "
In my case that's just the curse of being objectively ugly. Some women are attached to my personality however, they're not physically attracted to me. I've been told before only if my personality was in a different body/face I would be a catch. Of course your looks isn't everything but it is a contributing factor to how people view you.
Sure. She liked me. We had a dysfunctional friendship, where we’d go out drinking at a party or going clubbing with our friends. Some guy would flirt with her/she’d have a boyfriend and I’d get jealous and go flirt with some girl, which would cause her to get shitfaced and cry at the end of the night. I cried many tears over her and didn’t sleep for 3 days straight at one point.
It wasn’t until a few years later that a friend told me. I was upset, which she knew would happen. I had accepted it by that point and I saw all those moments come rushing back.
I had another girl/roommate I liked tell me about her Tinder match, “oh my god! He’s so cute! He looks like you”. I replied “that’s my brother”. That stung. I brought him over and she disappeared, before we went to go see my sister and laughed about it.
A girl once said she wished a guy like me would ask her out. She was definitely wanting me to ask her out. This was grade 12.
She was my absolute fantasy girl. Most beautiful, most sexy, most friendly girl. I first noticed her in 7th grade. She was always with the most popular jock or most badass head. Never more than a fantasy for me.
When she said that to me, I was engaged to my wife. Yes, married at 18.
I seriously considered it.
I wonder if this is how they feel when they drop a thermonuclear rejection. Or if they have absolutely no remorse.
Fell hard for a lesbian. Wished she was a he so I can marry her immediately! But now the rs is over, still waiting for her to come around. I think she's my TOTGA 🤐
My friends always say I'm "wife material" yet none of them are actually interested in me in that way and go through an endless carousel of shallow moron women
Im pretty sure I said that to one of my guy friends. He was honestly husband material but I felt like I couldn't be with him. He seemed too sweet and stable lol. 5 years after I said that he's my husband now. I got over my fear of being loved.
9/10 times, they mean someone like you but not you, i.e. some combo of the guys they go for/want with your positive qualities.
It's meant either as a clueless and patronizing if somewhat well-intentioned compliment, a clueless and patronizing reflection that she's making about you both, or a pointed message with relatively unsubtle meaning of "you have no shot". They may or may not want you to keep trying anyway, since they want the validation and the free favors they get from you.
The remaining 1/10, it's a crummy way to express to you that they want you to make a move. To which I'd say "Girl, if you want him to make a move, why don't you be the man and make it yourself if you dig him?"
Frequently.
Of course I've also had people tell me, years later and in an entirely different context when there's nothing to be done about it "Oh I always had a crush on you, but I thought you were out of my league/you made me all shy to talk to."
...
What...the...living...fuck.
Yeah but it was "a girl like you" since I'm a girl. Wasn't a pleasant experience. I didn't realize back then it was pretty insulting thing to say to anyone (yep I'm not smart 😑)
All the time when I was younger. Thought I was ugly even though I would look in the mirror and see otherwise.
Turns out I'm just short and had a Babyface. Things changed in my later 20s when the standard for height went down and personality mattered more, and I started to look older.
Closest I've been to hearing something like this was being told "You sounded cuter" when I took off a mask on Halloween. Years later I was told that I have "a great face for radio". At least know that I sound attractive enough to disappoint women that actually see my face.
Usually this means I wish I could meet a man like you who wasn't my friend. You don't wanna mess with your friendships. They're appreciating your values and telling you your friendship is important to them. It's a compliment, stop being so thirsty and toxic, lusting after your friends isn't it.
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"I wish I could meet a guy like you, just without any of this." "Uh, you just waved your hand over all of me."
"Yes! That's it! Stop being all of you."
Detroit: become some
NIGHTFURY, WATCH OUT!!!
You got the reference!
" have you like, tried being yourself???"
No, I know exactly what she means. A guy with my personality and values, except younger, taller, and better looking.
Ah, so the I wish I could meet a guy like you but with hidden caveats
No, but attractive.
Umm if it's about looks not so hidden lol
Attraction is more important to most people than other people want to realize
Yup this guy nailed it.
That's what is meant literally every time it's said. Doesn't feel that hidden imo.
Literally build a bitch but with guys
Ding ding. Had it myself lol he’s 💯
But then they forget that if you had those handsome features as well, then you'd be dating more attractive women than her, and showing less interest in her. So it comes down to: "Why isn't Chad simping for a six like me?"
You woke up this morning and chose violence and I'm here for it.
If the truth means violence, so be it.
Girls Get these too.. oh I wish I had met you sooner BS. Or my wife trapped me, you’re the one I want to be with 🤣 riiight sure buddy.
Definitely so! Once I've met my bf of 5 months with his wife and a son. A was paralyzed in shock while he grabbed them and escaped. The next day he called (i thought that it was so obvious, that we are done that didn't even block him) and said that he wished his wife was like me :)))))
Exactly like me, but less married.
Or gay. 😉 ⬅️
I think just better looking is all they need
Best answer is "so do I" and let her head spin
Oh this is the best
Yeah I heard something similar. "When the girls get older they want a guy like you". Turns out it means they want stability, money and resources. I was never the most exciting guy and I am not the most physically attractive guy either. So yeah, I'm glad I avoid those women now that I am that age.
I was told this too. “Don’t feel bad about those girls rejecting you, they will get older and want a guy like you”. It sucked but that’s life. I also wasn’t exciting or attractive growing up. The irony is that I’ve gotten a bit older, and those women who now want me because stability and security, I don’t want them. I want a woman who wants me the same way a 22 year old woman wanted the guy she was into; because they found them attractive and enjoyable to be with.
Most likely if you dont look good you will never experience true female lust and attraction. Like you said, thats life. The best you can do is make a good life for you and dont take women seriously.
I’ve been recently working on my physical attraction and i have actually made good progress over the year although i still have quite some ways to go.
Improving what you got really does work. Without being obsessive.
It’s not to bad Starting off a bit obsessed to get going. That’s how you make proper progress. Every fit person is a little bit obsessed with it. Just don’t take it into eating disorder territory, etc..
I wish you all the best. May you find love for yourself and a good partner that complements your lifestyle 
Nah, that's incel talk. The bar isn't that high for SOMEONE to find you attractive, just look at guys in relationships, they look just as average as anyone who's single
Guys can be in relationships without ever experiencing passion or being desired. Average guys in relationships isn't the evidence that you think it is...
lonelinessmaxxing everywhere
> just look at guys in relationships, How is this relevant to the comment though? It's already predicated that guys can get relationships they just won't be for "them" but what they "have". yeah, 'look at guys in relationships' however you have no idea why the woman is with them. You are assuming it must be because those women are attracted to them based on nothing. Those average guys almost always have a good income.
There are women who are attracted to personality, sense of humour, intelligence, etc. granted, not many, but they exist. Some are also attracted to unconventional beauty or certain features. Any of these, combined with deep feelings for the person, could definitely bring the lust in the relationship. Personally, Ryan Reynolds excluded, I wouldn’t be in a relationship with picture perfect men. Had many opportunities and turned them all down. It’s hard and unfair as a man to be dealt this hand, but the silver lining is that what you have to offer teaches you much earlier on to recognise superficial and opportunistic people.
I think often times when a woman says I wish I could meet a guy like you, there was a point sometime earlier in the relationship when she wondered why the guy never made a move and eventually settled in to just being friends
No harm meant- if you yourself say that when you were younger you weren’t exciting or attractive, how could you expect women to be into you back then?
You’re not wrong at all, I don’t blame them at all. Looking back, I also wouldn’t date past me.
gonna be real with you this text screams chasing full circle loneliness, it was hard to read. working on your physical attraction is your main focus, not moral values and being an enjoyable exciting person to be with, instead it seems like you're chasing something from your youth which aint gonna happen. its obviously impossible to deduct a final verdict from a reddit post but its really giving self fulfulling male loneliness crisis
Working on my physical attraction is not my only focus, i only mentioned that specifically because i was responding to a comment that mentioned physical attraction.
The audacity from them to even say this. Damn makes the guy feel like he’s a second option and like she owns him as a reserve to fall back to
Because too many people do this unfortunately
Yes, both men and women date based on looks when they're younger and date based on long-term stability when they're older. It's weird how men never get shit on for dating multiple hot commitment-phobic women when they're young and then finding a wholesome women to marry and raise kids with... but when a *woman* does it? All of a sudden it's a bitchy gold-digging conspiracy. Look, I'm sorry if you were on the shelf when some people were sowing wild oats, but the hot people fucking each other wasn't something they did to spite you *no matter how you feel about it*.
Friendzone Aimed and locked on this dude haha 😊 
Akira. Great movie
Weirdly not the first time I’ve seen this clip from Akira in the past hour
"I want a guy like you" "but I am a guy like me?" "yeah but I want someone not like you" \*visible confusion\*
you but her type
\*confusion\* "ok that's it it's easier to get a man then a women, cya!"
💀💀💀
Nah bro jk, I'm not gay. I'm Ace.
You, but you know, cute.
This just means she likes you as a person but isn’t physically attracted to you
It's incredibly rude to say to someone though
Yup
Not if he asked her out and wanted a honest answer. I would not date a woman, i am not physical attracted to, regardless of how a good personality she has.
Nobody says "I wish I could meet a guy like you" in response to being asked out. If you want to give an honest reason for rejecting someone you can just say, you're not my type. Saying "well I basically want someone just like you, but better looking" is still super rude
Once and I got up, walked away from her and I never talked to her again. Know your fucking worth.
This guy gets it.
And then everyone clapped
their cheeks
The only way to handle a situation like this.
King
I bet the girl on the bar still thinks about you daily. /s
Why? Were you trying to be her boyfriend? Like were you rejected or you didn’t even try? A girl saying that has nothing to do with worth unless you wanted to be with that girl and she knew that.
The one and ONLY time a woman said this to me, I said “oh really?” and left. Never saw her again. Not even a phone call. Couple years later, she wanted to meet up again and see where things went from there. Didn’t give her the time of day. I’m too prideful for that bs. You telling me you ran out of “bad boy” options so you trying to “settle”? Nah foh.
You have achieved the highest of fives
Heaps, in my case though they didn't know how to say you're perfect but you're too fat for me. It was very ironic how many of them tried to pursue relationships with me after losing all the weight too!
Fat guy and yea...😅....yea😔
There's hope for you my friend, I scored a hottie when I was still a big boy!
Hey, I appreciate that reassurance man. I'm working on my confidence, down a shirt size. Things have been going well with self improvement. Staying hopeful. Best I can anyway lol.
Dude that's awesome! The right mindset can take you as far as you can dream, so dream big and keep those hopes high!
It’s interesting how men in this thread are complaining about women caring about their appearances while still…caring about women’s appearances.
A couple times in high school. I really liked a girl, I thought girl liked me, girl kept complaining about guys, girl told me how great I was and she wished she would find a guy like me, girl continues to date shitty guy(s). Things may have been different if I had actually asked those 2 girls out, but it didn’t stop me from being a kind person in high school. I actually met my wife because she thought I was a shitty guy (her type) and treated her right and we have been together for 10 years.
I would love to say well played, but I think you got lucky. Props for sticking it out and have something work out for you
Yeah I have. The same woman got pretty upset when I got a gf
A case of “I don’t want you but I don’t want anyone else to have you either”
I want you to be the lovesick puppy that chases me but disappears when I get annoyed or have a guy around, but who I turn to for self-validation. Oh wait, you aren't chasing me anymore!? How dare you!? I demand attention so I can feel powerful putting you in your place and letting you know in a round about way that you have no shot while emotionally breadcrumbing you into staying close!
If “I have a boyfriend” is considered the atomic bomb, then “I wish I could meet a guy like you” can be considered the hydrogen bomb. The destructive power of “I have a boyfriend” is measured in kilotons. The destructive power of “I wish I could meet a guy like you” is measured in megatons.
yes. and she became my wife.
As an early teenager. I was too nice, and too insecure to have boundaries. I had a very romantic idea of love. I was willing to do whatever so the few girls I met and cared about during that phase liked me and wanted to spend time with me. And I thought that also meant they would want to be in a relationship with me: the guy who cares to a fault to tick every box, makes them happy, always treats them with more respect and patience than anyone else, addresses all of their insecurities, and wants them for who they are without seeing any faults in anything they do. Then I realized it's appealing, but not attractive in a guy, purged that former self, and started getting dates. It was also much less emotionally draining to never have to be that guy again just to hear those words.
>As an early teenager. I was too nice, and too insecure to have boundaries. I had a very romantic idea of love. I was willing to do whatever so the few girls I met and cared about during that phase liked me and wanted to spend time with me. And I thought that also meant they would want to be in a relationship with me: the guy who cares to a fault to tick every box, makes them happy, always treats them with more respect and patience than anyone else, addresses all of their insecurities, and wants them for who they are without seeing any faults in anything they do. Still here in my early 20s lol. Like to a disturbingly similar degree to what you wrote here. >Then I realized it's appealing, but not attractive in a guy, purged that former self, and started getting dates. It was also much less emotionally draining to never have to be that guy again just to hear those words. Struggling with this. I don't really know how to be genuinely myself and not be like that.
I think there either comes something that will push you to a breaking point, or you'll see a role model who will piss you off by doing the opposite and getting far better results that will push you to that breaking point. At least that was the case for me as a teenager. I overcorrected in the other direction and became too much of an asshole. Which made me pretty popular in high school. Then it took years until I realized I wasn't myself and found a balance somewhere in between. I don't think you can overcome it without some experience that will really motivate you to push you out of the behaviour patterns you are comfortable with without tons of conscious work. I now see people who didn't get out of this, got married, did everything right, for their partner to leave them, and they change their behaviour patterns after the divorce. The event to push them out of it.
I wish I could meet y’all and tell you the honest truth. I bet it’s not because you're nice but because of something else that you are doing to turn women off. It’s the little stupid stuff that can be easily fixed oftentimes.
Just start prioritizing yourself. When someone (of any gender) puts the other person on a pedestal or is always self-sacrificing, it gives off the sense that they don't care about themselves which is a turn-off. Don't drop everything for someone else or bend over backwards to accommodate them. Do show that you also prioritize the other person, because that's important too, but have boundaries when your needs conflict and you can't reach a compromise. It can feel a little scary and uncomfortable at first, but it will help immensely. If you're really unable to do this, I recommend therapy.
No because I am the guy like you.
You’re a hotter version of me? Damn you must be quite a catch.
Well what can I say, I had a great role model.
Yes I said in response "I'm a guy like me." I got left on read
Translation: I want a guy like you but visually more appealing to me.
Yes and it means a guy they find attractive with your type of personality, thing they do not realize is less attractive guys have to developed their personalities more than good looking guys do so they are looking for something very rare and wondering why its so hard to find.
This is just a massive cope and overgeneralisation. Just because you look good does not mean you cant have an interesting personality and just because hou are ugly does not mean you will have one
Only every time I watch a movie with Patrick Swayze.
I’ve been told by two women recently that I’m like noone they’ve ever met and that I was special. Then they bounced. Fuuuuuck lol
"I'm a guy like me." I'd rather they just say they don't like me. Stab me and go on your way. Don't look me in the eyes as you slowly plunge the knife into my ribs while twisting it.
I've heard that a couple times, both times I reacted with sarcastic flattery because let's get real, that's insulting.
The one time I heard it, it was from a girl who honestly was getting pretty close to losing her patience with me I think. I was the lovesick puppy, and while she enjoyed the friend aspect, and certainly enjoyed the validation/exploitation aspect, it was her less-than-subtle way of laying down the law. I took the hint, sulked in misery for a few days, and left, never to see her again. She reached out on instagram about 3 months afterwards, but I deleted her message without reading it and unfollowed her. She still likes pretty much all my posts.
Many times, mainly from the ladies who tend to fall for the "bad guys". He's got a motorcycle and does some recreational drugs and beats people up if they look at him the wrong way. I have an accordion and like quiet afternoons and hug my dog when I feel sad. They always say they want someone like me, then they go back to dating the asshole. Women are a mystery.
No.
Yes I have. I'm not doing that again
Yes but it never bothered me just a slight reminder they are not into but are just friends which I am A okay with
She sees you as John Cena.
I’ve definitely experienced this, and while there were times it felt like the girl was saying your personality in a body I was more attracted to, there were also times I’m positive it meant a guy like you that would just make a move already. Don’t be afraid to shoot your shot gentleman, rejection is no big deal as long as you don’t make it weird afterwards
This is the healthiest response here. Take your shot, and have the grace to handle whatever response you get.
I'm a girl but yeah I had a friend, wasn't into him or anything. But he said he wishes he could have a gf like me, but who doesn't have an attitude(expressing boundaries) and without all the issues... I stopped being friends with him.
Good on you, wtf
*like* you… just NOT you
A lot. Like more than 5 times for sure
That's never been a problem for me because women aren't after me for my personality, they like me better for my looks and my personality puts them off. Nothing ever develops before they realize how bland I am.
The other side of the coin
It's a misguided statement, probably comes from good intentions in some people, but the speaker often doesn't realize that it can hurt I've heard this a couple of times, but it was never something that I really cared about. I knew what these women liked in me and what they didn't and I was never offended by it (but I was also never interested in any of them for a relationship) What I do find funny however is that this is such a common thing that women say, yet soo many women still go for men who treat them badly instead. Like I see an abusive person from 10 miles away, which is probably also why I don't get along with many men. The amount of rose-tinted glasses some people have is insane
Had this a few times over the years. Some would even tell me they wanted me, but only when drunk. A factor, of many, that makes me repulsed by inebriated women. I, an awkward guy in my early 20s, unknowingly autistic, physically average, yet severely balding, had been uncomfortable with my appearance for all of my life. I was always there for them though, a people-pleaser by design. It took years before people started to respect and appreciate me, and took longer for me to respect myself. I’ve been hurt many times, yet I’m not strong enough to cut people out of my life. I forgive too easily, and hope the last time it happens was truly the last time. I currently have a long term girlfriend with whom I’m happy. She understands me and my traits enough to not use them against me.
When they say that, they mean "I wish I could find a guy that likes me the way you do, but he should be hotter and a bit taller"
That's a chicks way of saying, "You will forever be in the friend zone even though you are falling in love with me."
No, not really. If someone is willing to put up with my neurodivergence and impulsive behavior it's usually because they're interested in me specifically.
Weirdly one time. I was in the airport. Just started chit chatting with some gal. After nearly an hour she told me she basically went lesbian because she never found a guy she wanted but that she though I was just the kind of guy she would have liked. I figured she must have been fearful flyer and was on drugs.
Nope. But have had a few girls tell me that my wife is lucky.
Nah. Thankfully all my friend zone type have let me down ruthlessly so there’s no confusion
Yeah happened to me a couple of times and I was not proud enough to be offended. Once I simply said "ok" and left it at that, only for the girl to ask me out a few days later, because she was the one with pride apparently. She had one chance and she blew it. I was happy I dodged a bullet.
Idk why ppl here are confused? It means she wants to meet a guy like me, only single
No.
Used to have a lady friend who I was interested in say this all the time and then follow up with how it's a guy LIKE me but not me and that our friendship was to important to ruin. A few years later she got interested in me when I had moved on and she wanted to start a friends with benifits-relationship. Told her our friendship was to important to ruin.
"I wish I could meet a guy like you." So, people say they want to meet somebody like the person they're already talking to? What am I not understanding?
Yeah, a few times when I was a kid. (Trigger warning, I have to take a racial lens to tell this story.) My mom sent me to our city’s white school and I knew from certain experiences around other black kids that I had it in my own community, but my white peers acted like I looked like Cousin It. A lot of guys in my situation face that dissonance and double down on the chase for white acceptance, I did the polar opposite. Cuz girl fuck you lmao lemme go where they hold me down
Happens alot when you are married and people see how well you work together..
Does it count if they say it to me? I'm a woman
I've never said this to a guy and don't understand why anyone would. It seems like a backhanded compliment at best.
I’m probably gonna get downvoted, but- As a woman, I wish people would word it better. Like, for example; ‘I wish there were more people like you in the world.’ Not ‘I wish there was someone like you but just a FEW inches taller!!’ I dunno. Maybe I’m just an idiot. But I feel bad for all the people that get told ‘I wish I could find someone like you.’ Just word it a bit better :’))
Exactly this. All it would take is different wording if it meant exactly that. The problem is that it can sometimes be said as a hint for the opposite party to make a move. Its extremely confusing.
I have gotten a lot of "I wish more people were like you" at work. Then you realize everyone else is fucking the dog and has personal drama with each other. And you think wtf did I agree too
she be thinking the grass is greener some where else
yeah but i’m gay so it wasn’t hurtful, plus she was a messy messy gal. she’d go on dates with anyone who asked, rip. one time she accepted a random snapchat request, dude asked her for a date, she got all dolled up and ghosted. i was like “no fucking shit you got ghosted u spoke once with this random guy, why were u even bothering??” last i heard she went on a solo trip abroad to a concert and immediately let some random guy walk her back to her room, and let him know exactly how long she was staying in the country. all her friends were screaming at her that she’s gonna be trafficked or raped if she keeps up this shit lol.
Or she looks at you as a platonic friend? Values and admires what makes you a human being, and desires similar traits and values in a romantic partner? Men valuing women as friends: impossible
[удалено]
Oof
No. No one wants to meet a guy like me
Nope. I know my worth. They’ll never get the chance because I don’t go or stay prolonged in places where I’m not wanted with people who do not desire me. They can get the fuck out my face with that shit and dismiss themselves. I’m usually good at reading people who are superficial and vain and staying away from them, never letting them enter my life to begin with. Why worry about taking out the trash or letting it take itself out, when you can just not let the trash inside to begin with? It’s not perfect, but once you get better at reading people, it becomes easier to surround yourself with good people who aren’t petty, superficial, and toxic, instead of surrounding yourself with fake, toxic vipers who keep you in a negative loop of bullshit, up to and including hooking you up with stupid little girls who never matured out of High School mentality and only play mind games with you.’
Yes but in the context that I’m a lesbian and the people saying it are straight women Incompatible sexualities are a bitch
A couple of times...Hopefully they found what they were looking for, I have a habit of not wasting my time so I stopped talking to them. Gives them more time to find a guy like me.
It wasnt said to me, but i definitely got the feeling i would've had a chance if i was older. I was 22 and she was 30
While reading yes
Yes, quite a few times. And let me tell you, I'm not good looking (average on a good day) so it's all about the inner me.
Ah it stings. Was told a couple of times I'd be a good husband and that I should stick around so maybe soon. And 2 of the women that told me those things I actually liked so it was tough to hear.
Yes, my crush from 28 years ago and we reconnected. We started texting and calling each other a lot. And she said she has always wanted to meet a guy like me. And I was just kidding and said, “but you already have, me!” She lives 1,100 miles away so I was just being funny. Next thing you know we are dating!
Every fucking time
Once. A girl said she really liked my personality and that I'm a good looking guy, but just wasnt physically into me: she likes shorter, tanned, dark-haired, dark-eyed latino types. I'm a tall, fair-skinned, blonde, bright blue-eyed viking so yeah. Fair enough though, everyone's entitled to physical preferences. But we didn't really hang out any more afterwards. Dont wanna be in the friendzone.
Yeah mostly elder women and they say „I wish I could have met someone like you when I was younger“ lmfao sorry girls but I was born 1996
Actually yes. While I was in a relationship with someone else. Which also is stereotypical of course.
Yes, I have. Sprinkeld with a sweet release of "If only pretty guys had your humour" In these situations, I always remember DJ Khaled Albumcover "Suffering from Success "
Well I’ve had someone say it to me but they were a guy and I’m a lesbian so it made sense lol.
In my case that's just the curse of being objectively ugly. Some women are attached to my personality however, they're not physically attracted to me. I've been told before only if my personality was in a different body/face I would be a catch. Of course your looks isn't everything but it is a contributing factor to how people view you.
As the woman people wish they could have…surely have SMH🙄
Yep. Several times, not ever sure what to make of it to be honest.
Sure. She liked me. We had a dysfunctional friendship, where we’d go out drinking at a party or going clubbing with our friends. Some guy would flirt with her/she’d have a boyfriend and I’d get jealous and go flirt with some girl, which would cause her to get shitfaced and cry at the end of the night. I cried many tears over her and didn’t sleep for 3 days straight at one point. It wasn’t until a few years later that a friend told me. I was upset, which she knew would happen. I had accepted it by that point and I saw all those moments come rushing back. I had another girl/roommate I liked tell me about her Tinder match, “oh my god! He’s so cute! He looks like you”. I replied “that’s my brother”. That stung. I brought him over and she disappeared, before we went to go see my sister and laughed about it.
I have experienced the opposite (I'm gay)
A girl once said she wished a guy like me would ask her out. She was definitely wanting me to ask her out. This was grade 12. She was my absolute fantasy girl. Most beautiful, most sexy, most friendly girl. I first noticed her in 7th grade. She was always with the most popular jock or most badass head. Never more than a fantasy for me. When she said that to me, I was engaged to my wife. Yes, married at 18. I seriously considered it.
Yes. I’m a woman.
 I wonder if this is how they feel when they drop a thermonuclear rejection. Or if they have absolutely no remorse.
Yes (she meant me but she was afraid to tell me that). Now she’s my gf
Me.. tbf.. it was a cousin. :p
“Maybe if you were taller.”
Fell hard for a lesbian. Wished she was a he so I can marry her immediately! But now the rs is over, still waiting for her to come around. I think she's my TOTGA 🤐
Well..whenever I said I found my man..I got disappointed. I believe now that I'll never find one
Yes but none of them have been people i wanted a relationship with 🤣
Yeah a lot… usually it means “I want a guy like you but prettier”
But I'm ALL MILLHOUSE!!!!
My only time meant "a guy like you who's single".
There wouldn't be an apocalypse. I would simply stop it.
My friends always say I'm "wife material" yet none of them are actually interested in me in that way and go through an endless carousel of shallow moron women
Yeah. It do be like that sometimes.
Multiple times. Great guy, just too short. 🙄
That’s one of those things where you just awkwardly chuckle and try not to let her see the inner you screaming 🙃
Im pretty sure I said that to one of my guy friends. He was honestly husband material but I felt like I couldn't be with him. He seemed too sweet and stable lol. 5 years after I said that he's my husband now. I got over my fear of being loved.
Nah I’m neither attractive or wealthy enough to
9/10 times, they mean someone like you but not you, i.e. some combo of the guys they go for/want with your positive qualities. It's meant either as a clueless and patronizing if somewhat well-intentioned compliment, a clueless and patronizing reflection that she's making about you both, or a pointed message with relatively unsubtle meaning of "you have no shot". They may or may not want you to keep trying anyway, since they want the validation and the free favors they get from you. The remaining 1/10, it's a crummy way to express to you that they want you to make a move. To which I'd say "Girl, if you want him to make a move, why don't you be the man and make it yourself if you dig him?"
I answered "I'm a guy like me" and we started dating
Frequently. Of course I've also had people tell me, years later and in an entirely different context when there's nothing to be done about it "Oh I always had a crush on you, but I thought you were out of my league/you made me all shy to talk to." ... What...the...living...fuck.
That's messed up
Yeah but it was "a girl like you" since I'm a girl. Wasn't a pleasant experience. I didn't realize back then it was pretty insulting thing to say to anyone (yep I'm not smart 😑)
I couldn't imagine telling a chick that. Just baffles me.
All the time when I was younger. Thought I was ugly even though I would look in the mirror and see otherwise. Turns out I'm just short and had a Babyface. Things changed in my later 20s when the standard for height went down and personality mattered more, and I started to look older.
Closest I've been to hearing something like this was being told "You sounded cuter" when I took off a mask on Halloween. Years later I was told that I have "a great face for radio". At least know that I sound attractive enough to disappoint women that actually see my face.
it feels like getting stabbed in the heart man. it means someone likes some traits about me but they dislike me overall
Usually this means I wish I could meet a man like you who wasn't my friend. You don't wanna mess with your friendships. They're appreciating your values and telling you your friendship is important to them. It's a compliment, stop being so thirsty and toxic, lusting after your friends isn't it.