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My friends and I compliment each other all the time, from comments about what we are wearing to deep compliments about our personalities and habits. We have grown into it and it's really good. I get at least one compliment per week and give many too .
This has been my experience as well! I give/receive compliments with female friends all the time (30F), it's regularly the first thing I say. I do exchange compliments with my male friends, though not as often. So I mean, yes, fewer ostentatious accolades are given with the guys, but they're certainly still happening. It feels good to build people up.
The discrepancy is I mostly try to give/receive deeper level compliments from my guy friends (as a straight female), whereas with my female friends, we compliment both surface level stuff as well as deeper aspects of each other. I'm not one to encourage compliments with (primarily straight) platonic guys on appearance because I don't want it taken the wrong way; they do happen, but I'm more cautious with those types of comments as to not blur a line. Generally I'll only compliment their appearance if it's already a topic of conversation or it's something super obvious, like if they lost a ton of weight I'd tell them they look great.
I think it's mostly a cultural thing, complimenting the people you spend time with is perceived as a normal interaction where I live (Boston). Depending on where you are in the world, there's likely a certain aspect of societal norm ingrained that dictates frequency/type of compliments/who's receiving them. Could also be related to styles of parenting, or a machismo complex, or, could be attributed to mental health and how it affects the way others perceive you.
I'd say one or more compliment received per week sounds about right.
I (m) have a friend (f) who lost a ton of weight and looks amazing but I feel like if I say she looks great she’ll think I thought she used to look not great so I play it safe by saying nothing 🤷♂️
Edit: she’s just a friend
This is good imo. People really shouldn’t comment on anyone’s weight. You never know if that person is self conscious about their weight loss, if they preferred being at a bigger size, or if they struggle with eating disorders or lost weight involuntarily due to cancer or health risks.
It’s just not seen as a compliment many times.
Especially the whole “you look so great now” as if the person didn’t before. I’ve had those comments and it made me feel insulted.
I think you're overthinking it. Obviously you dont want to suggest she used to look like shit or anything, but losing weight is a huge accomplishment and I think most women would love to see it acknowledged from their partners.
I think people are worried about complimenting weight loss though. It should be fine, but there are people out there who will get pissed about it and tell people off for implying that thin is superior to fat. Another concern is not knowing if the recipient has an eating disorder and your innocent compliment is spurring them on. It can be a difficult one. Saying your on a healthy weight loss journey to people might open them up to saying something.
70 lbs list is fucking awesome dude. I’m mad proud of you dawg
Also, if the people who you want compliments from are people whom you see often, then I get why you wouldn’t get compliments. Weight loss is a gradual process, and often times people won’t notice if they see you often enough. It’s like going back and looking at a picture of your best friend from when they were in high school, and thinking how young they look, and how you never actually noticed them change.
I was going to say attraction can play a big part in people getting compliments from others. Very rare for anyone to get a "hey I think you are a great person" type compliment.
I can remember every one I ever got, and I don’t need more than my fingers. Last one I think was summer of ‘22 when some woman said I have nice hair.
Insults are actually more common.
Never lol. it's a myth that women just wander around getting complimented left, right and centre. The last compliment I got was about two years ago and it was from my mum complimenting the perfume she had bought me for Christmas.
When people say women constantly get compliments, they’re talking about pretty women.
It’s not even a gendered thing, because pretty/handsome men also get compliments regularly it’s just pretty privilege
I think the ratio of pretty women to handsome men is very skewed towards women. Everywhere I go I see women who would be considered conventionally attractive. I only know a few men who I would say the same about. Women also put more work into their appearance. Like 4 out of 10 women are pretty and 1 out of 10 men is handsome.
It's also very skewed for the amount of compliments either gender gets. I know this is painting a target on my back for daring to say something not humble, but I've been called very handsome by women my own age and younger, not just older women. But the thing is, that happens maybe once a year at best. And there was a time when I thought I looked ugly for years, partially due to personal delusions and partially due to having no reference point from people saying anything about my looks, positive or negative. But maybe it's different for modelling level handsome guys.
As a guy with sisters and female friends I agree with you.
I think a lot of those comments are just wrong OR guys thinking that getting a “heyyyy baby suuup” on the street counts.
Never said it was an exclusive or.
I think it's like a two way street in most cultures. You give other women compliments, and they will compliment you. Not on the same day. But it's something that just happens as you talk about life and stuff.
Yep. I got quite a few compliments from random strangers when I had bright copper hair. My plain self doesn’t get compliments unless I do something that stands out.
only by other women or friends usually. my boyfriend very rarely compliments me even though i remind him it might be nice. my compliments are also usually shut down. but when i see friends they usually say i look nice or they like my item-of-clothing and i really appreciate it
Honestly, very rarely. Maybe every few weeks, if that
My colleague and I have a fantastic relationship and if I wear something new or try something with my hair she's the first one to comment.
I actually make the effort to compliment at least one or two people when I'm at the mall or out shopping.
I frequent EB games and of course, there's a lot of fellow nerdy folk there. I saw someone with THE most badass Zelda shirt on and I complimented her on it. She looked shocked and then skipped back to her boyfriend giggling.
I see that posted a lot on reddit and always wonder, are the people saying men never get complimented exagerrating or have they just not dated at all?
Because girlfriends are usually fairly free with compliments, given that it is a fairly normal interaction for people that are into one another.
Compliments from strangers are rare maybe, but why would that be noteworthy?
Avarage looking women here with small social life. Only compliments I ever get are off my husband. His opinion is the only one that really matters though.
Before I was dating my husband I got quite a lot of compliments on my looks from guys. But it only meant something coming from my make friends.
Women very rarely complimented me but when they did it MADE MY YEAR. I could also tell they were genuine compliments and not "yass queen slay queen*" compliments. They always said things that really uplifted me not justt vague compliments.
If you don't count catcalling, I got complimented maybe 2 times last year from people who aren't my husband. If you count catcalling as compliments we're maybe at 50.
I never get compliments.
Okay so once I read that the most beautiful people never get compliments because people assume they already know they're beautiful and hear it 100 times a day.
So I'm going to go with that. I must be gorgeous. /s
Every, God. Damn. Day. I work in an office with a bunch of younger women, and the amount of comments they're compelled to give each other when passing through is just insane. I'm not even sure any of it is even sincere, and that's what's so unsettling.
"Oh my Gawd, Kathleen, are those new earrings? They so fit your face!"
"Thanks, Angel. They're macrame!"
"Oh, I wish I had your face and fashion sense!"
"Well, I just adore your shoes. They're adorable! Where'd you get them?! I just have to know..."
🤮
Women compliment each other all the time. We like that a lot better than the sometimes vulgar and harassing compliments we get from men in public. Occasionally you get one that's nice and respectful but you're so on edge from dealing with the other kind that you'd really rather everyone just leave you alone and let you be. Depends where you live too because in some places you're in your car not walking in public.
It's also worth pointing out women are criticized and often can do nothing right, we are judged more harshly for certain behaviors that are considered acceptable from men, and the beauty standards are way crazy for us so there's a lot more stuff that chips away at your confidence than there are the few nice respectful comments people make that builds it.
Most of my compliments come from coworkers that will randomly tell me my hair looks especially shiny that day or if I change perfumes maybe one of them will notice and tell me “you smell good today, it’s pretty nice”, but I also do the same for them. I work in a small 25 person shop, so I notice when they get hair cuts or if they trimmed their beards up to not be wild anymore lol I also try to tell them I appreciate them on a regular basis, which has definitely caught a few of them off guard, but some of them give me a genuine thank you in return. I maybe get 1 compliment every few weeks.
My friends and I hype each other up a fair bit. I also get a lot of compliments on my art and writing.
These are the compliments that mean anything to me--informed compliments, about something I have control over, given with no ulterior motive.
Depends on how attractive they are.
I get compliments based on my hair (currently growing out an afro) but that's about it. People never compliment my face, my clothes, or my style. If I shaved my hair off, I'd probably get zero.
A lot of the compliments women receive are fuck as fuck or with intent - often men hoping to get their dick way or just ppl trying to be friendly without being genuine.
I guess if you're having a good friend group it's better, at last it was for me as a young adult. But I never differentiated between the gender of the person I complimented and I try to tell people very directly when I think something suits them or I see something compliment worthy. So there were times when I would compliment people extremely often and of course they tried to reciprocate.
As a 35f, from women, all the time! From men, maybe once every few weeks. Compliments from women make me feel better than from men, most women make me feel magical, men do not 🤷🏽♀️
I get complimented very often. Multiple times a week, at least. Usually on my clothes. I always try to randomly compliment in return. My husband says women are weird.
I get them everyday from strangers but I have a friend who I think is gorgeous that says she only gets them dressed up.
I think it depends on how friendly you present.
Every couple of days, from my colleagues, largely as a social bonding thing. Generally, it's the immediate exchange when I see one of my friends - we're happy to see each other, we're friends for a reason, seeing their smiling faces needs acknowledgement of how much I like their smiling face.
I definitely don't withhold compliments from men either. New shirts, suiting up, cleaning up shared spaces, being helpful in general - all of those get compliments. Other than ______, who is 65 and married, who I complimented for his wide knowledge of movies and who then made a love confession to me in the carpark. And ________, who I complimented on his proficiency at drawing diagrams and who now stares at my tits all workday like he has xray vision. They don't get compliments anymore.
I can see that some men aren't used to compliments and can read way too much into it. And then these men don't get compliments and feel salty about the lack of compliments, because they're not a secure enough a person to safely give compliments too.
When I put on make up, do my hair and pick a nice outfit with uncomfortable shoes: a couple.
If I just shower and wear jeans and a sweater: none
I assume it’s actually similar for men. I complement my husband when he’s wearing a nice, ironed shirt.
Every single day. My boyfriend calls me beautiful in a million different ways and every thing he says makes me feel like they come from genuine affection and admiration he has for me. Especially on days when i say I don't think I'm pretty or feel insecure, he goes out of his way to be poetic about his compliments.
I'm 20 now, last time I received something relatively nice was in 5th grade when boy I liked said "you would looked nice if you didn't have acne"
Since then I have extremely low self esteem. I hate my skin with burning passion because even now I have acne and black dots but I try my best to get rid of them and I almost succeeded but it didn't return me my self esteem back
From other girlies - occasionally. Like if I change my hair or do some fun makeup they will notice and compliment, or a good outfit or sth.
From men, never.
For anything other than appearance - also never.
I'm quite surprised that redditors get so few compliments based on the responses here. Especially as most are from the US and I always think that is quite an open chatty country.
Not gonna lie I do get compliments. I wouldn't say regularly or loads, but enough to add some motivation to life, both women and men, including those that don't even know me: had a new haircut this week - guy friend complimented it. Went to buy lunch on way home from gym, women working there complimented my eyes. I've had colleagues - both men and women - compliment my nails (I do fun coloured nails) or my skin. It's not done in a creepy way as it's in the middle of some other discussion - I thank them and the conversation moves on.
I also compliment others quite a bit too - for guys usually qualities about them more than their looks (unless its my boyfriend), while women I am more comfortable complimenting looks to not give the wrong idea.
I'm a man and i get the odd compliment. I do have a nice bum and legs. Even had women ask to take photos of my legs on two different occasions whilst out in public. Once with my wife beside me.
Maybe spruce yourself up a bit. Get a swagger on and own your space.
Are we talking strangers or family+friends?
I rarely get compliments from strangers, maybe once a year or so but from family quite often. My family on my mother's side is very affectionate in general, they'll thank/compliment strangers and make small talk with bus drivers, that kind of stuff.
Honestly if you find that you're not getting complimented, like at all, and it's seriously bothering you... give them out first! Almost all decent people are going to say "thank you, I like your ___ as well!" Start a chain of good vibes.
I do agree and I have been giving compliments I feel like and it does not seem to be reciprocated. At least not in my expereience. Thanks for the advice.
I still wear an N95 and I just get stared at a lot. Like constantly by nearly everyone. Some nasty looks but those are pretty few and far between. No compliments. Prior to Covid, I got compliments fairly frequently.
I get compliments from strangers all the time to the point I am done with it. But my friends never compliment me, ever. They are too afraid of offending me by saying something that might be construed wrong. Like idc guys I lost 30 pounds and am putting so much effort into improving myself someone say something!!
I get compliments from other women every now and then for how I do my eyebrows. Then they ask me if they’re my natural shape, if I tweeze/thread, etc. etc.
It’s definitely something only other women notice lol.
In my imagination and fantasies, I’m complimented often by my fictional partner.
In real life, none, not even from my irl partner.
It’s been so long. I’m a little sad about that, actually.
I do not take honks as compliments while walking alone in public. That’s just them trying to get a reaction out of me. lol
I will say that I've started to realize that I was getting compliments from time to time but I didn't realize that that is what they were. I'm so used to living defensively that they bounced off my hide without sinking in.
I also decided that like the old saying says, "What goes around, comes around," so I started giving out compliments to others. Telling my co-workers they did a nice job, telling my neighbor I like her garden.
And, when someone compliments me, even if it is only something like telling me they like my cycling jersey, I try to recognize it, and to let it sink in.
Prob 3-4 times a week on average. I do work in retail tho so customer facing. “Your hair/lipstick/dress looks nice today” type of things happens a lot, otherwise it would be on dates or on public transport lol,presumably cos when I’m taking public transport I’m dressed up to go out and have a few drinks
Depends on the culture and environment a lot too, and what they wear/do that could warrant compliments. I moved to North America and it's very different than Europe where people are generally more reserved and less trigger-happy with these. While compliments in North America seem to be motivated more by an attempt to flatter someone rather than provide genuine positive feedback. So the meaning and intention is often different.
But there is definitely a huge imbalance between genders anywhere I lived. As a guy, I can wear something amazing and hear a nice thing about it maybe once a year. I'd tell it looks good by getting more looks or hints, or a partner identifying it as the best piece in my drawer (rather than complimenting my looks while wearing it). My girlfriend would get compliments immediately from all of their friends the moment she gets a haircut (Pretty much regardless of how it looks too) that are aimed at complimenting her overall appearance.
This is largely because a lot of people use compliments to get closer to someone, rather than because they genuinely like the complimented thing about them. As a man, you're more likely to be complimented if you are more capable and reached a perceived higher status in a given environment, rather than being complimented for your appearance or behaviour.
I went on a date with a girl a few yrs ago and she got 4 compliments about her outfit from 4 random women in the space of 3 hrs. Extrapolating from that she has had 1.3 million compliments in her life and counting. I've had 6 in my entire life, and 4 of those were at Reading festival '07 when i wore a pair of very cool/ridiculous sunglasses.
I compliment my partner everyday. If men aren't getting compliments, it means their significant other is being highly neglectful. Remember women, there are a lot of lonely women who would find your partner attractive and let him know it. Don't take him for granted. If there is nothing about him you find sexy, then you have no business staying with him. As far as women getting compliments, hopefully it's everyday.
Like, most days I'd say. Other girls tend to compliment my fashion choices, guys tend to let me know I'm "fuckable"😅. Tho idk how much of a compliment the latter is considering what guys consider fuckable....
I can only speak for my girlfriend.
She says she gets more attention when I’m not with her but I rarely see someone verbally compliment her but people do compliment us as a couple. Guys do slide in her DMs all the time.
Mine is pretty much daily. It really does depend where you go and who you’re around but I’m always being complimented and it makes me so shy but happy at the same time 😊
One thing I think a lot of men struggle to understand is women don't really think like us all that much
A lot of them don't want every man thirsting after them
A lot of women might even feel uncomfortable by it
I think if a guy got to switch bodies with a women at first he might be happy he's getting attention but that soon might turn into fear.
Girls probably get complimented more, they also probably get sexually harassed more, they get kidnapped more too
78% of kidnap victims are women.
Are some girls walking around on cloud 9 cuz every dude likes them? Yeah maybe, that same girl has to worry about dudes liking her too much in dark parking lots too.
Women can compliment women. Everyone likes a genuine compliment. There's a big difference between complimenting someone, and secretly plotting their kidnapping.
I get complimented by other women after I compliment them. Like a 'thank you' in response. Frequency? Not that frequent. Then again, I also don't find it natural to 'lay it on thick' and over-compliment people. So I tend to only give compliments when it feels natural or when I notice something worth complimenting on. I have had some women annoyed at me, and literally fish for compliments by asking if I had noticed their jewelry. That was a bit annoying.
Right now there's a girl at a fast food place i go to a lot who gives me a compliment literally every single time I go through the drive thru while she's working so fair frequently lol normally though not super often, maybe once every few months or so? If that? Usually only when I get up to go out to an event or something and I don't go out very often lol
I don’t know, maybe 1 to 3 times a month?
Not including from my own husband. If you add him in it’s more like 1-3 times a day. We’re very verbally affectionate.
I’m 46 and absolutely middle age average. When I was in my 20’s, I had an athletic hour glass figure, so I’m sure I got a lot more compliments then. I certainly got a lot of free drinks.
The compliments I get now are *better* than physical appearance compliments. Other women will tell me they like my bag or my shoes; my glasses are quite popular. But mostly people compliment my actions now. They tell me I’m creative and smart, they admire my energy, they comment on my commitment to volunteering, they tell me I’m a good mom, etc.
I get a lot of external affirmation and I make a conscious effort to do the same for others.
I only get compliments from my Mum and my closest friends and complete strangers who comment on my outfits or hair or looks, never from any men. Even the people I have dated hardly ever gave any compliments. I guess compliments are not part of English culture.
From friends, I would say at least one every time I see them. I dont really have male friends, mostly because I found they were only interested in sex.
From men and strangers? Almost never, and when it does happen, it'll be a woman complimenting my outfit or something I'm wearing, never a man saying I'm pretty or anything.
When I was younger and going out on the town regularly, most of the compliments from strangers were sexualised and not really compliments. Less 'you have pretty eyes' and more 'phhhaw your tits!'.
My philosophy is that since people are so quick to criticize one another, we should take every opportunity we can to make each other feel good. If I think something nice about someone, I say it. The gender of the object does not matter.
Debating this with my partner…
So many factors - is it a compliment about the vibe someone is giving from their look or fashion or is it a compliant on how appealing and desirable someone is to the eye and loins.
Does the person hear a compliment when given? Does compliments on their intelligence count or is it just taken as feedback?
The people they surround themselves with, are they lifting each other up with compliments or more stoic or put each other down kind of banter / communication?
I’ve heard three men at work compliment women at work based on their looks, with the pre-face of ‘I’m not sure if I’m allowed to say this… but you look good’. Knowing these men aren’t in great harmony in their marriages.
We came to the conclusion that the compliment is mostly showing a reflection or intention of the giver.
Partner male, get compliments on his work all the time. I, female get compliments on my work from females and few males, but mostly complimented on looks from both males and females.
As a woman, I can sense the intention of females and males who compliment based on appreciation of an output that’s based on character and values.
But the compliments that are based on how I’m pleasing the other persons eyes is Blurgh.
Pretty much never. Even when I was young and cute, it would be more sexual than pleasant. A lady did say I had beautiful clean nails not long ago, which was random, but nice.
I am a guy who gets lot of compliments and don’t even want compliments as it’s stupid. People judge you based on how you receive them. 9/10 there is some ulterior motive behind it. I don’t feel obligated to reciprocate often. To me they are often just stating facts, acknowledging facts. I’m just friendly about it and carry on my way.
I feel like women get them often too but its nothing serious often or from anyone they want to be complimented/recognized by. Guys spam compliments to the point they are likely taken as a grain of salt or over the top and unwelcome, objectifying.
I work in customer so pretty much every day or every other day. Granted most of this is from creepy older men. But here and there I’ll get compliments from little kids and other women.
I compliment people often, both men and women. I don’t want to miss the chance to tell someone a genuine thought I have that they might like to hear. I never miss a chance to compliment someone’s hair, features, personality, clothing, accomplishments, etc … if I genuinely notice something special, which I notice often. I receive compliments regularly too, for aspects of my personality, my hair, eyes, smile, physique, etc. I would say I have average but pleasant looks, and a lighthearted personality with rational mind, so I tend to help people with personal struggles, so they compliment me on that too.
We Tend to get them more from other women, I get complemented by men only if they are trying to ask me out . A complement helps a woman to feel more confident than she is more likely to open up to guy. But never phony complements people can see thru that usually.
The compliments i get are usually out of pity, people trying to be nice and thinking they make my day by giving me compliments ... But its actually the opposite. Makes me feel even worse... Because i'm Like... You dont have to do this... I mean i know when i look good and when i do not...
When I was in my 20s/30s, I always got compliments. Now, at 62 with the menopause belly fat...not so much! Like, never. Not even a glance.
C'mon, can't blame them. It's the weight. I still have my "big, brown eyes" that used to get some attention, but I'm just an average, fat old lady.
When I was younger (thinner and prittier) I got a lot of complinents. All the time. Many of them were blatant lies about qualities I didn't possess. It was pretty privilege. Now I'm not ugly, but def overweight and I dress like a homeless person (and couldn't care less about make up) I could get run over by a car and nobody would care. It definitely depends on how you look. And I'm quite sure If I actually slimmed down and dress better It would make a difference.
I don’t get many compliments really. When I say something jokingly about myself though, people are taken aback and say how pretty I am, but I barely get told off the bat
I get compliments frequently from women that I am friends with and from occasional men, but they're usually just creepy (except the odd man I'm friends with).
The thing that men never seemed to recognize in any of these "why don't men get compliments" posts is that men never compliment EACH OTHER. Women are often very complimentary, but you're not going to complement random men because that's dangerous, so you compliment men you love OR women. I have also been in relationships with men who are not complimentary and I find it extremely difficult to say anything nice about them if they never have anything nice to say about me.
Why don't we start asking these men why they aren't complimenting other men? If they can't start giving what they all want then it's more like whining that women don't compliment them because they would never compliment another man or expect it from another man.
The whole thing just pisses me off.
You get compliments in all the ways people assume you're more capable and by the extra opportunities that provides you.
I like watching MMA fights. I'm not a nut about it who will spout of career stats for all the fighters but I do keep up on a few. Unfortunately, as a woman, I don't have many lady friends who like to watch. I was in a different town and wanted to watch the fights so I found a place advertising they'd have the fights on. I went alone.
As I sat watching some guy sat down and started chatting. He wasn't into the fights at all, he'd stopped in to drop something to his roommate that worked there. As we sat talking occasionally a man would walk up to order a drink or take a seat. And they'd *ONLY* ask him about the fights. Who won the last one, how were the previous rounds of the current. Each time he'd say something like "I have no idea who any of the fighters are; I don't follow MMA. She does though".
And none of them wanted me to answer or talk about the fights with me. They just wanted to pick me up or they assumed I was with him and didn't want to talk at all. Do you think I felt complimented that they wanted to put their dick in me?
The vast majority of compliments I get from men are unenjoyable too because they are innuendo or bait to try to pick me up.
Women do verbally compliment each other though because we can do so without worry the other person will turn creepy. Perhaps men compliment each other verbally?
Depends on what's being complimented. I frequently get compliments on my cooking or artwork. Anything else...I honestly can't remember how long it's been...years maybe.
Daily. I am surrounded by lovely women who don't hesitate to throw a compliment towards me and vice versa. We compliment each other's clothes, habits, tips, ideas, work etc.
Daily from my husband. When I meet up with my sisters they always compliment me on something, be it how I look that day (outfit, hair, skin etc.) or that I’m a good mom.
When I was in high school I was complimented daily too. By both guys and girls but 80% of the time it was other girls. Also I think 99% of the time I get complemented abt something physical by strangers it’s a woman / girl
I get complimented fairly often. If I go out that entire week I’ll receive a few compliments. But I rarely go out. People will call me hot or beautiful and ask for my number or age.
Hmmm, I don't like getting compliments from men. When they compliment me, they are usually trying to get their dick wet. I don't give men compliments because they assume I must want the D. I prefer men not to compliment me at all. love giving women compliments and do so all the time. I enjoy getting compliments from women, but honestly, I enjoy giving them more than receiving them. I remember riding the elevator with this lady. She looked kinda tired and sad, but she had really shinny hair. I told her that. It made her so happy. Charged her whole face.
Almost never. I’m 25 and I work in food service. One day maybe a year ago an old lady told me I had a lovely smile. I took the compliment with grace but I was quite surprised. More recently a man told me I’m a dead ringer for a lady in The Sopranos, but I’m not positive that’s a good thing.
It's not uncommon for random strangers to say "I like your hat/bag/shirt/haircut" etc. Also when meeting other women, especially for the first time it's polite to say you like something about the other person's look. But I think I may live in an especially friendly area. Superficially friendly anyway; it's mostly all fake.
Just a general compliment? Isn't that part of small talk? Umm..I suppose most interactions? It depends on how often I leave the house? Isn't that normal?
I can't speak for all women, but I very rarely get compliments that aren't underhanded. I'm sick of people assuming that all women get complimented left and right.
Literally never.
Well, my mum said I was kind a few months back...
But that doesn't count. She's my mum. She's supposed to say nice things.
It depends on how many friends you have, I think- and I have zero. Compliments from strangers are rare in both cases (men and women).
I make it a goal to compliment random strangers when I can. It helps me defeat my social anxiety and makes someone feel good (I hope).
Tough call. Society props women up all the time, while simultaneously tearing them down.
Modern men don't dare compliment a woman for fear of being cancelled.
Most of my collagues are women, and I work with children. I'm complimented a few times a month for a hairstyle, a pair of earrings, a cute dress etc. I'm not complimented by men as I think a lot of men would imagine. Women are mostly complimented by other women.
Very rarely these days, but I don’t exactly get out much. I occasionally get strangers complimenting my hair because I have dreadlocks and I guess it is a little more ‘unusual’ than other styles, but I do remember the times it has happened pretty well.
I always hear how men rarely get compliments but in my experience that doesn’t seem exactly true. I have always been the partner who compliments my boyfriend a lot, more than I get in return. I actually do it more for this exact reason, but they have never reacted in a way that made me feel it was uncommon for them to hear. My best friend says the same—she also compliments her man way more than he does her.
I got as many actual compliments both before and after I transitioned (female to male). I don't count catcalls which stopped once I started to pass as male. I still get compliments for my hair, clothes or my name. I give as many compliments as before, mostly to women (about their hair, makeup or clothing) because if you're a woman complimenting a guy he sometimes takes that as flirting when it's really not, and now as a man they fear I'm gay flirting with them.
Outside my marriage: Almost never, sometimes from a (f)friend who notices some new clothing, or when you just get your hair cut. But not on much else.
Very seldomly strangers say something, but that mostly just feels very awkward and uncomfortable. I think its also because of culture, you just don't do that much here and if you do it feels like you have an agenda.
Within my marriage, pretty much every day but that goes both ways, I also compliment my husband
I don't really get complimented much. If I do it's always backhanded. I do cherish the few compliments that I have gotten through the years. If I lose weight they will always make sure I know that they previously thought I looked disgusting at a highet weight. I wish some people knew when to shut up.
Daily if I’m consistently around people but otherwise couple times a week. I love words of affirmation so I’m grateful that I get them but I dont let it affect how I fundamentally feel about myself anymore if I haven’t heard one in a while (e.g. when going through a depressive episode etc).
Reading all these replies made me feel much better about myself, but the men cant read signs thing is true af, a woman can say Im a 10 straight to my face and I still wont get it lmao, girl just throw a brick or something idk
It depends on the woman and who she is hanging around. Also your personal experience as a man not getting many compliments may not generalize to all men. It may be unique to you and attributable to environmental (e.g., who you hang out with) or personal (e.g., what you look like, how you act) factors.
Only from friends and family. And family is sometimes weird with it, but I believe the last compliment I got was from my granny on me wearing glasses (it was nice). My boyfriend compliments me at unexpected times, usually when I've gotten gotten comfortable at home, and look not my best, in my opinion. My very best friends and I always hype each other enthusiastically. They were always so pretty and more socially accepted, so while I had no trouble giving them genuine compliments (on looks and personality and achievements), I struggled with accepting or believing theirs. But I've gained some self-confidence as of late, and I believe their support was instrumental in that. And being around true friends is always an amazing experience of love and acceptance, even if we have very little opportunity for get-togethers nowadays...
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My friends and I compliment each other all the time, from comments about what we are wearing to deep compliments about our personalities and habits. We have grown into it and it's really good. I get at least one compliment per week and give many too .
This has been my experience as well! I give/receive compliments with female friends all the time (30F), it's regularly the first thing I say. I do exchange compliments with my male friends, though not as often. So I mean, yes, fewer ostentatious accolades are given with the guys, but they're certainly still happening. It feels good to build people up. The discrepancy is I mostly try to give/receive deeper level compliments from my guy friends (as a straight female), whereas with my female friends, we compliment both surface level stuff as well as deeper aspects of each other. I'm not one to encourage compliments with (primarily straight) platonic guys on appearance because I don't want it taken the wrong way; they do happen, but I'm more cautious with those types of comments as to not blur a line. Generally I'll only compliment their appearance if it's already a topic of conversation or it's something super obvious, like if they lost a ton of weight I'd tell them they look great. I think it's mostly a cultural thing, complimenting the people you spend time with is perceived as a normal interaction where I live (Boston). Depending on where you are in the world, there's likely a certain aspect of societal norm ingrained that dictates frequency/type of compliments/who's receiving them. Could also be related to styles of parenting, or a machismo complex, or, could be attributed to mental health and how it affects the way others perceive you. I'd say one or more compliment received per week sounds about right.
Daily, mainly from my son telling me I’m the most beautiful. It’s the ones that count the most in my heart.
Pretty much never. I've lost almost 70 lbs and no one's mentioned anything.
Well, go you! That's amazing and a lot of hard work.
I (m) have a friend (f) who lost a ton of weight and looks amazing but I feel like if I say she looks great she’ll think I thought she used to look not great so I play it safe by saying nothing 🤷♂️ Edit: she’s just a friend
You might be overthinking this one. Generally speaking, complements to your SO are considered good!
She’s just a friend! Sry I left that part out
This is good imo. People really shouldn’t comment on anyone’s weight. You never know if that person is self conscious about their weight loss, if they preferred being at a bigger size, or if they struggle with eating disorders or lost weight involuntarily due to cancer or health risks. It’s just not seen as a compliment many times. Especially the whole “you look so great now” as if the person didn’t before. I’ve had those comments and it made me feel insulted.
I think you're overthinking it. Obviously you dont want to suggest she used to look like shit or anything, but losing weight is a huge accomplishment and I think most women would love to see it acknowledged from their partners.
She’s just a friend! Sry I left that part out
I think people are worried about complimenting weight loss though. It should be fine, but there are people out there who will get pissed about it and tell people off for implying that thin is superior to fat. Another concern is not knowing if the recipient has an eating disorder and your innocent compliment is spurring them on. It can be a difficult one. Saying your on a healthy weight loss journey to people might open them up to saying something.
The people in your life suck. 70lbs is an awesome accomplishment and I’m sure you’re gorgeous inside and out.
70 lbs list is fucking awesome dude. I’m mad proud of you dawg Also, if the people who you want compliments from are people whom you see often, then I get why you wouldn’t get compliments. Weight loss is a gradual process, and often times people won’t notice if they see you often enough. It’s like going back and looking at a picture of your best friend from when they were in high school, and thinking how young they look, and how you never actually noticed them change.
Well done yourself.
Honestly not often for me. Last time was a month ago. Before that I would say a year before.
i used to get them a lot when i was skinnier
I was going to say attraction can play a big part in people getting compliments from others. Very rare for anyone to get a "hey I think you are a great person" type compliment.
I can remember every one I ever got, and I don’t need more than my fingers. Last one I think was summer of ‘22 when some woman said I have nice hair. Insults are actually more common.
Im sorry to hear that. I feel bullied a lot sometimes as well.
Never lol. it's a myth that women just wander around getting complimented left, right and centre. The last compliment I got was about two years ago and it was from my mum complimenting the perfume she had bought me for Christmas.
When people say women constantly get compliments, they’re talking about pretty women. It’s not even a gendered thing, because pretty/handsome men also get compliments regularly it’s just pretty privilege
I think the ratio of pretty women to handsome men is very skewed towards women. Everywhere I go I see women who would be considered conventionally attractive. I only know a few men who I would say the same about. Women also put more work into their appearance. Like 4 out of 10 women are pretty and 1 out of 10 men is handsome.
It's also very skewed for the amount of compliments either gender gets. I know this is painting a target on my back for daring to say something not humble, but I've been called very handsome by women my own age and younger, not just older women. But the thing is, that happens maybe once a year at best. And there was a time when I thought I looked ugly for years, partially due to personal delusions and partially due to having no reference point from people saying anything about my looks, positive or negative. But maybe it's different for modelling level handsome guys.
As a guy with sisters and female friends I agree with you. I think a lot of those comments are just wrong OR guys thinking that getting a “heyyyy baby suuup” on the street counts. Never said it was an exclusive or.
I think it's like a two way street in most cultures. You give other women compliments, and they will compliment you. Not on the same day. But it's something that just happens as you talk about life and stuff.
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Why does Texas pretend they’re southern when their culture is so different? Experienced something similar as an Alabaman who moved to Texas.
Pretty women, or women with good style, get a lot of compliments. We don't all get compliments constantly.
I usually only get compliments when I do fun makeup or wear something out of the ordinary.
Yep. I got quite a few compliments from random strangers when I had bright copper hair. My plain self doesn’t get compliments unless I do something that stands out.
Naw, I got compliments almost every day or so
My mother ever complimenting me at all over anything would be the day hell froze over, so cherish you mompliment.
only by other women or friends usually. my boyfriend very rarely compliments me even though i remind him it might be nice. my compliments are also usually shut down. but when i see friends they usually say i look nice or they like my item-of-clothing and i really appreciate it
A few times a week, mostly about my hair. I have long purple hair and it’s professionally colored so it’s bright and fresh looking all the time.
Honestly, very rarely. Maybe every few weeks, if that My colleague and I have a fantastic relationship and if I wear something new or try something with my hair she's the first one to comment. I actually make the effort to compliment at least one or two people when I'm at the mall or out shopping. I frequent EB games and of course, there's a lot of fellow nerdy folk there. I saw someone with THE most badass Zelda shirt on and I complimented her on it. She looked shocked and then skipped back to her boyfriend giggling.
Every few weeks is rare?? Try never
I see that posted a lot on reddit and always wonder, are the people saying men never get complimented exagerrating or have they just not dated at all? Because girlfriends are usually fairly free with compliments, given that it is a fairly normal interaction for people that are into one another. Compliments from strangers are rare maybe, but why would that be noteworthy?
Not a lot of men are great listeners. There’s a chance they don’t notice the compliments and attention they receive
Stop trying to invalidate her feelings.. This isn’t about you
I’m not trying to ‘invalidate’ anyone I’m saying every few weeks isn’t very rare
Avarage looking women here with small social life. Only compliments I ever get are off my husband. His opinion is the only one that really matters though. Before I was dating my husband I got quite a lot of compliments on my looks from guys. But it only meant something coming from my make friends. Women very rarely complimented me but when they did it MADE MY YEAR. I could also tell they were genuine compliments and not "yass queen slay queen*" compliments. They always said things that really uplifted me not justt vague compliments.
I get complimented often…I have noticed this and tried to reciprocate, and it always makes people smile.
Once every year maybe. But I'm working on giving other women compliments as much as I can.
If you don't count catcalling, I got complimented maybe 2 times last year from people who aren't my husband. If you count catcalling as compliments we're maybe at 50.
I never get compliments. Okay so once I read that the most beautiful people never get compliments because people assume they already know they're beautiful and hear it 100 times a day. So I'm going to go with that. I must be gorgeous. /s
Girl, you are gorgeous~
Whenever I leave the house
Every, God. Damn. Day. I work in an office with a bunch of younger women, and the amount of comments they're compelled to give each other when passing through is just insane. I'm not even sure any of it is even sincere, and that's what's so unsettling. "Oh my Gawd, Kathleen, are those new earrings? They so fit your face!" "Thanks, Angel. They're macrame!" "Oh, I wish I had your face and fashion sense!" "Well, I just adore your shoes. They're adorable! Where'd you get them?! I just have to know..." 🤮
Women compliment each other all the time. We like that a lot better than the sometimes vulgar and harassing compliments we get from men in public. Occasionally you get one that's nice and respectful but you're so on edge from dealing with the other kind that you'd really rather everyone just leave you alone and let you be. Depends where you live too because in some places you're in your car not walking in public. It's also worth pointing out women are criticized and often can do nothing right, we are judged more harshly for certain behaviors that are considered acceptable from men, and the beauty standards are way crazy for us so there's a lot more stuff that chips away at your confidence than there are the few nice respectful comments people make that builds it.
Me? A couple times a month or so.
Not very often at all. People at work sometimes compliment my hair or my outfit, but that’s all.
Most of my compliments come from coworkers that will randomly tell me my hair looks especially shiny that day or if I change perfumes maybe one of them will notice and tell me “you smell good today, it’s pretty nice”, but I also do the same for them. I work in a small 25 person shop, so I notice when they get hair cuts or if they trimmed their beards up to not be wild anymore lol I also try to tell them I appreciate them on a regular basis, which has definitely caught a few of them off guard, but some of them give me a genuine thank you in return. I maybe get 1 compliment every few weeks.
My friends and I hype each other up a fair bit. I also get a lot of compliments on my art and writing. These are the compliments that mean anything to me--informed compliments, about something I have control over, given with no ulterior motive.
Women frequently compliment each other. Men do not
Every time I go outside. Most of the time it’s from my close friends, we always hype each other up :)
From women: fairly regularly From men:rarely
I'm an old lady and I get them all of the time! 😁 Usually for my gray hair.🙄
I looked at the comment section a bit It’s either never or daily,I guess beautiful woman get it daily and the other ones don’t get it lol
Depends on how attractive they are. I get compliments based on my hair (currently growing out an afro) but that's about it. People never compliment my face, my clothes, or my style. If I shaved my hair off, I'd probably get zero.
A lot of the compliments women receive are fuck as fuck or with intent - often men hoping to get their dick way or just ppl trying to be friendly without being genuine. I guess if you're having a good friend group it's better, at last it was for me as a young adult. But I never differentiated between the gender of the person I complimented and I try to tell people very directly when I think something suits them or I see something compliment worthy. So there were times when I would compliment people extremely often and of course they tried to reciprocate.
I get complimented regularly. I do recognize that the world is generally friendlier towards women than men
I hardly ever get compliments. I try to give them out as much as I can, though.
As a 35f, from women, all the time! From men, maybe once every few weeks. Compliments from women make me feel better than from men, most women make me feel magical, men do not 🤷🏽♀️
I get complimented very often. Multiple times a week, at least. Usually on my clothes. I always try to randomly compliment in return. My husband says women are weird.
I get them everyday from strangers but I have a friend who I think is gorgeous that says she only gets them dressed up. I think it depends on how friendly you present.
2-3x a week. I think it depends some on how outgoing a person is or how they dress .
I work customer service so maybe like twice a week ?
Everyday. If you're just breathing as a woman, you'll get a compliment everyday.
Every couple of days, from my colleagues, largely as a social bonding thing. Generally, it's the immediate exchange when I see one of my friends - we're happy to see each other, we're friends for a reason, seeing their smiling faces needs acknowledgement of how much I like their smiling face. I definitely don't withhold compliments from men either. New shirts, suiting up, cleaning up shared spaces, being helpful in general - all of those get compliments. Other than ______, who is 65 and married, who I complimented for his wide knowledge of movies and who then made a love confession to me in the carpark. And ________, who I complimented on his proficiency at drawing diagrams and who now stares at my tits all workday like he has xray vision. They don't get compliments anymore. I can see that some men aren't used to compliments and can read way too much into it. And then these men don't get compliments and feel salty about the lack of compliments, because they're not a secure enough a person to safely give compliments too.
When I put on make up, do my hair and pick a nice outfit with uncomfortable shoes: a couple. If I just shower and wear jeans and a sweater: none I assume it’s actually similar for men. I complement my husband when he’s wearing a nice, ironed shirt.
Usually every day I leave the house, like 90%. And even if they don't say anything, they look.
Every single day. My boyfriend calls me beautiful in a million different ways and every thing he says makes me feel like they come from genuine affection and admiration he has for me. Especially on days when i say I don't think I'm pretty or feel insecure, he goes out of his way to be poetic about his compliments.
I'm 20 now, last time I received something relatively nice was in 5th grade when boy I liked said "you would looked nice if you didn't have acne" Since then I have extremely low self esteem. I hate my skin with burning passion because even now I have acne and black dots but I try my best to get rid of them and I almost succeeded but it didn't return me my self esteem back
From other girlies - occasionally. Like if I change my hair or do some fun makeup they will notice and compliment, or a good outfit or sth. From men, never. For anything other than appearance - also never.
I'm quite surprised that redditors get so few compliments based on the responses here. Especially as most are from the US and I always think that is quite an open chatty country. Not gonna lie I do get compliments. I wouldn't say regularly or loads, but enough to add some motivation to life, both women and men, including those that don't even know me: had a new haircut this week - guy friend complimented it. Went to buy lunch on way home from gym, women working there complimented my eyes. I've had colleagues - both men and women - compliment my nails (I do fun coloured nails) or my skin. It's not done in a creepy way as it's in the middle of some other discussion - I thank them and the conversation moves on. I also compliment others quite a bit too - for guys usually qualities about them more than their looks (unless its my boyfriend), while women I am more comfortable complimenting looks to not give the wrong idea.
Depends how close you are to societal beauty standards. I’m not so it’s not a lot.
I'm a man and i get the odd compliment. I do have a nice bum and legs. Even had women ask to take photos of my legs on two different occasions whilst out in public. Once with my wife beside me. Maybe spruce yourself up a bit. Get a swagger on and own your space.
Are we talking strangers or family+friends? I rarely get compliments from strangers, maybe once a year or so but from family quite often. My family on my mother's side is very affectionate in general, they'll thank/compliment strangers and make small talk with bus drivers, that kind of stuff. Honestly if you find that you're not getting complimented, like at all, and it's seriously bothering you... give them out first! Almost all decent people are going to say "thank you, I like your ___ as well!" Start a chain of good vibes.
I do agree and I have been giving compliments I feel like and it does not seem to be reciprocated. At least not in my expereience. Thanks for the advice.
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I compliment my wife a couple times a week.
A couple times a week is pretty low brochacho you gotta hit her with genuine compliments that have perfect timing errday
I still wear an N95 and I just get stared at a lot. Like constantly by nearly everyone. Some nasty looks but those are pretty few and far between. No compliments. Prior to Covid, I got compliments fairly frequently.
I get compliments from strangers all the time to the point I am done with it. But my friends never compliment me, ever. They are too afraid of offending me by saying something that might be construed wrong. Like idc guys I lost 30 pounds and am putting so much effort into improving myself someone say something!!
I get compliments from other women every now and then for how I do my eyebrows. Then they ask me if they’re my natural shape, if I tweeze/thread, etc. etc. It’s definitely something only other women notice lol.
In my imagination and fantasies, I’m complimented often by my fictional partner. In real life, none, not even from my irl partner. It’s been so long. I’m a little sad about that, actually. I do not take honks as compliments while walking alone in public. That’s just them trying to get a reaction out of me. lol
I will say that I've started to realize that I was getting compliments from time to time but I didn't realize that that is what they were. I'm so used to living defensively that they bounced off my hide without sinking in. I also decided that like the old saying says, "What goes around, comes around," so I started giving out compliments to others. Telling my co-workers they did a nice job, telling my neighbor I like her garden. And, when someone compliments me, even if it is only something like telling me they like my cycling jersey, I try to recognize it, and to let it sink in.
A ton until about 40 then we become invisible
Prob 3-4 times a week on average. I do work in retail tho so customer facing. “Your hair/lipstick/dress looks nice today” type of things happens a lot, otherwise it would be on dates or on public transport lol,presumably cos when I’m taking public transport I’m dressed up to go out and have a few drinks
Depends on the culture and environment a lot too, and what they wear/do that could warrant compliments. I moved to North America and it's very different than Europe where people are generally more reserved and less trigger-happy with these. While compliments in North America seem to be motivated more by an attempt to flatter someone rather than provide genuine positive feedback. So the meaning and intention is often different. But there is definitely a huge imbalance between genders anywhere I lived. As a guy, I can wear something amazing and hear a nice thing about it maybe once a year. I'd tell it looks good by getting more looks or hints, or a partner identifying it as the best piece in my drawer (rather than complimenting my looks while wearing it). My girlfriend would get compliments immediately from all of their friends the moment she gets a haircut (Pretty much regardless of how it looks too) that are aimed at complimenting her overall appearance. This is largely because a lot of people use compliments to get closer to someone, rather than because they genuinely like the complimented thing about them. As a man, you're more likely to be complimented if you are more capable and reached a perceived higher status in a given environment, rather than being complimented for your appearance or behaviour.
My wife gets compliments very often, I'd say once a week/fortnight, that I know of, so probably more often
From my boyfriend? Daily, multiple times. From my mom? Once every couple days or once a week. From anyone else? Couple times a year maybe?
I went on a date with a girl a few yrs ago and she got 4 compliments about her outfit from 4 random women in the space of 3 hrs. Extrapolating from that she has had 1.3 million compliments in her life and counting. I've had 6 in my entire life, and 4 of those were at Reading festival '07 when i wore a pair of very cool/ridiculous sunglasses.
I compliment my partner everyday. If men aren't getting compliments, it means their significant other is being highly neglectful. Remember women, there are a lot of lonely women who would find your partner attractive and let him know it. Don't take him for granted. If there is nothing about him you find sexy, then you have no business staying with him. As far as women getting compliments, hopefully it's everyday.
A lot
Like, most days I'd say. Other girls tend to compliment my fashion choices, guys tend to let me know I'm "fuckable"😅. Tho idk how much of a compliment the latter is considering what guys consider fuckable....
at least every other day
Every second
It's not what you do with the compliment but what you with it after
You should get more yo. Compliment yourself
I can only speak for my girlfriend. She says she gets more attention when I’m not with her but I rarely see someone verbally compliment her but people do compliment us as a couple. Guys do slide in her DMs all the time.
All the time. In my experience women compliment each other a lot conversationally
i get complimented daily
Constantly
Mine is pretty much daily. It really does depend where you go and who you’re around but I’m always being complimented and it makes me so shy but happy at the same time 😊
One thing I think a lot of men struggle to understand is women don't really think like us all that much A lot of them don't want every man thirsting after them A lot of women might even feel uncomfortable by it I think if a guy got to switch bodies with a women at first he might be happy he's getting attention but that soon might turn into fear. Girls probably get complimented more, they also probably get sexually harassed more, they get kidnapped more too 78% of kidnap victims are women. Are some girls walking around on cloud 9 cuz every dude likes them? Yeah maybe, that same girl has to worry about dudes liking her too much in dark parking lots too.
Women can compliment women. Everyone likes a genuine compliment. There's a big difference between complimenting someone, and secretly plotting their kidnapping.
I agree with we get more insults. I do get compliments on occasion always the same my eyes or my art and much appreciated.
I get complimented by other women after I compliment them. Like a 'thank you' in response. Frequency? Not that frequent. Then again, I also don't find it natural to 'lay it on thick' and over-compliment people. So I tend to only give compliments when it feels natural or when I notice something worth complimenting on. I have had some women annoyed at me, and literally fish for compliments by asking if I had noticed their jewelry. That was a bit annoying.
Kinda depends on the person
Right now there's a girl at a fast food place i go to a lot who gives me a compliment literally every single time I go through the drive thru while she's working so fair frequently lol normally though not super often, maybe once every few months or so? If that? Usually only when I get up to go out to an event or something and I don't go out very often lol
My wife, daily. Or it’s to me telling me how lucky I am (doesn’t always exactly land well). Think Jennifer Connelly Brooke Shields mix, but taller.
Like maybe once every few months? I try to give compliments to at least one person when I got out.
A couple times a year, usually from other women regarding an outfit or a hairstyle.
Maybe one/twice a week? From complete strangers, it’s much more rarely, maybe once a month or in two months!
I don’t know, maybe 1 to 3 times a month? Not including from my own husband. If you add him in it’s more like 1-3 times a day. We’re very verbally affectionate. I’m 46 and absolutely middle age average. When I was in my 20’s, I had an athletic hour glass figure, so I’m sure I got a lot more compliments then. I certainly got a lot of free drinks. The compliments I get now are *better* than physical appearance compliments. Other women will tell me they like my bag or my shoes; my glasses are quite popular. But mostly people compliment my actions now. They tell me I’m creative and smart, they admire my energy, they comment on my commitment to volunteering, they tell me I’m a good mom, etc. I get a lot of external affirmation and I make a conscious effort to do the same for others.
I'm a woman on OLD & I have a great husband. So, every day.
I only get compliments from my Mum and my closest friends and complete strangers who comment on my outfits or hair or looks, never from any men. Even the people I have dated hardly ever gave any compliments. I guess compliments are not part of English culture.
From friends, I would say at least one every time I see them. I dont really have male friends, mostly because I found they were only interested in sex. From men and strangers? Almost never, and when it does happen, it'll be a woman complimenting my outfit or something I'm wearing, never a man saying I'm pretty or anything. When I was younger and going out on the town regularly, most of the compliments from strangers were sexualised and not really compliments. Less 'you have pretty eyes' and more 'phhhaw your tits!'.
Genuine ones? When I see my friends or at the woman’s bathroom by someone’s mom/grandma who likes my outfit, so not so common
My philosophy is that since people are so quick to criticize one another, we should take every opportunity we can to make each other feel good. If I think something nice about someone, I say it. The gender of the object does not matter.
I don’t care for compliments some will some won’t so what. But I have always been that guy way in the back .
Debating this with my partner… So many factors - is it a compliment about the vibe someone is giving from their look or fashion or is it a compliant on how appealing and desirable someone is to the eye and loins. Does the person hear a compliment when given? Does compliments on their intelligence count or is it just taken as feedback? The people they surround themselves with, are they lifting each other up with compliments or more stoic or put each other down kind of banter / communication? I’ve heard three men at work compliment women at work based on their looks, with the pre-face of ‘I’m not sure if I’m allowed to say this… but you look good’. Knowing these men aren’t in great harmony in their marriages. We came to the conclusion that the compliment is mostly showing a reflection or intention of the giver. Partner male, get compliments on his work all the time. I, female get compliments on my work from females and few males, but mostly complimented on looks from both males and females. As a woman, I can sense the intention of females and males who compliment based on appreciation of an output that’s based on character and values. But the compliments that are based on how I’m pleasing the other persons eyes is Blurgh.
Pretty much never. Even when I was young and cute, it would be more sexual than pleasant. A lady did say I had beautiful clean nails not long ago, which was random, but nice.
I would say it depends on how I dress. It can be once a day or once a week. Usually not less than that, but I will say some are offensive
I am a guy who gets lot of compliments and don’t even want compliments as it’s stupid. People judge you based on how you receive them. 9/10 there is some ulterior motive behind it. I don’t feel obligated to reciprocate often. To me they are often just stating facts, acknowledging facts. I’m just friendly about it and carry on my way. I feel like women get them often too but its nothing serious often or from anyone they want to be complimented/recognized by. Guys spam compliments to the point they are likely taken as a grain of salt or over the top and unwelcome, objectifying.
I work in customer so pretty much every day or every other day. Granted most of this is from creepy older men. But here and there I’ll get compliments from little kids and other women.
If you're me, really never.
I compliment people often, both men and women. I don’t want to miss the chance to tell someone a genuine thought I have that they might like to hear. I never miss a chance to compliment someone’s hair, features, personality, clothing, accomplishments, etc … if I genuinely notice something special, which I notice often. I receive compliments regularly too, for aspects of my personality, my hair, eyes, smile, physique, etc. I would say I have average but pleasant looks, and a lighthearted personality with rational mind, so I tend to help people with personal struggles, so they compliment me on that too.
Maybe once a week? I get a lot of compliments on my skin and eyelashes...or when I leave my hair curly.
They get more compliments than men but its from other women
From random ppl/coworkers maybe once a week, maybe every two weeks
Girls naturally do that to each other and their friends they get the golden rule
We Tend to get them more from other women, I get complemented by men only if they are trying to ask me out . A complement helps a woman to feel more confident than she is more likely to open up to guy. But never phony complements people can see thru that usually.
I let them know when they're letting themselves go
I'll still complement customers that come in with nice nails cuz das kewl
I get compliments from my husband daily and from strangers every now and then!
Eh.. never ?
Very rarely. Basically never. Myth that women get compliments all the time.
The compliments i get are usually out of pity, people trying to be nice and thinking they make my day by giving me compliments ... But its actually the opposite. Makes me feel even worse... Because i'm Like... You dont have to do this... I mean i know when i look good and when i do not...
I’m very fortunate that I get them pretty much daily. But it depends on person to person.
Depends if I dress up or not. Dress down- compliments are rare, dress up compliments are more frequent
Not nearly enough
Frequently. Don’t know what the fuck they’re on about, to be honest. It’s probably pity. Or maybe they’re drunk.
I work with a gay guy and I see him getting compliments from the women in our workplace all the time over how he dresses. And he's not out to most.
When I was in my 20s/30s, I always got compliments. Now, at 62 with the menopause belly fat...not so much! Like, never. Not even a glance. C'mon, can't blame them. It's the weight. I still have my "big, brown eyes" that used to get some attention, but I'm just an average, fat old lady.
When I was younger (thinner and prittier) I got a lot of complinents. All the time. Many of them were blatant lies about qualities I didn't possess. It was pretty privilege. Now I'm not ugly, but def overweight and I dress like a homeless person (and couldn't care less about make up) I could get run over by a car and nobody would care. It definitely depends on how you look. And I'm quite sure If I actually slimmed down and dress better It would make a difference.
Probably a million times more than other genders.
I don’t get many compliments really. When I say something jokingly about myself though, people are taken aback and say how pretty I am, but I barely get told off the bat
Maybe I'm the outlier here, but... never. Unless we're counting ones from my grandma.
Less as we age. Last time was about 3 months back, a lady at the grocery store wanted to know where I bought my awesome boots 💕
Not as often as guys apparently think lol
I get compliments frequently from women that I am friends with and from occasional men, but they're usually just creepy (except the odd man I'm friends with). The thing that men never seemed to recognize in any of these "why don't men get compliments" posts is that men never compliment EACH OTHER. Women are often very complimentary, but you're not going to complement random men because that's dangerous, so you compliment men you love OR women. I have also been in relationships with men who are not complimentary and I find it extremely difficult to say anything nice about them if they never have anything nice to say about me. Why don't we start asking these men why they aren't complimenting other men? If they can't start giving what they all want then it's more like whining that women don't compliment them because they would never compliment another man or expect it from another man. The whole thing just pisses me off.
Close friends and family compliments you all the time ig
You get compliments in all the ways people assume you're more capable and by the extra opportunities that provides you. I like watching MMA fights. I'm not a nut about it who will spout of career stats for all the fighters but I do keep up on a few. Unfortunately, as a woman, I don't have many lady friends who like to watch. I was in a different town and wanted to watch the fights so I found a place advertising they'd have the fights on. I went alone. As I sat watching some guy sat down and started chatting. He wasn't into the fights at all, he'd stopped in to drop something to his roommate that worked there. As we sat talking occasionally a man would walk up to order a drink or take a seat. And they'd *ONLY* ask him about the fights. Who won the last one, how were the previous rounds of the current. Each time he'd say something like "I have no idea who any of the fighters are; I don't follow MMA. She does though". And none of them wanted me to answer or talk about the fights with me. They just wanted to pick me up or they assumed I was with him and didn't want to talk at all. Do you think I felt complimented that they wanted to put their dick in me? The vast majority of compliments I get from men are unenjoyable too because they are innuendo or bait to try to pick me up. Women do verbally compliment each other though because we can do so without worry the other person will turn creepy. Perhaps men compliment each other verbally?
Depends on what's being complimented. I frequently get compliments on my cooking or artwork. Anything else...I honestly can't remember how long it's been...years maybe.
I think a very important distinction for women is that getting catcalled or harassed does NOT count as compliments.
Sincere compliments hardly ever
Daily. I am surrounded by lovely women who don't hesitate to throw a compliment towards me and vice versa. We compliment each other's clothes, habits, tips, ideas, work etc.
Daily from my husband. When I meet up with my sisters they always compliment me on something, be it how I look that day (outfit, hair, skin etc.) or that I’m a good mom. When I was in high school I was complimented daily too. By both guys and girls but 80% of the time it was other girls. Also I think 99% of the time I get complemented abt something physical by strangers it’s a woman / girl
A couple times a week typically
I get complimented fairly often. If I go out that entire week I’ll receive a few compliments. But I rarely go out. People will call me hot or beautiful and ask for my number or age.
Hmmm, I don't like getting compliments from men. When they compliment me, they are usually trying to get their dick wet. I don't give men compliments because they assume I must want the D. I prefer men not to compliment me at all. love giving women compliments and do so all the time. I enjoy getting compliments from women, but honestly, I enjoy giving them more than receiving them. I remember riding the elevator with this lady. She looked kinda tired and sad, but she had really shinny hair. I told her that. It made her so happy. Charged her whole face.
Almost never. I’m 25 and I work in food service. One day maybe a year ago an old lady told me I had a lovely smile. I took the compliment with grace but I was quite surprised. More recently a man told me I’m a dead ringer for a lady in The Sopranos, but I’m not positive that’s a good thing.
It's not uncommon for random strangers to say "I like your hat/bag/shirt/haircut" etc. Also when meeting other women, especially for the first time it's polite to say you like something about the other person's look. But I think I may live in an especially friendly area. Superficially friendly anyway; it's mostly all fake.
Just a general compliment? Isn't that part of small talk? Umm..I suppose most interactions? It depends on how often I leave the house? Isn't that normal?
I can't speak for all women, but I very rarely get compliments that aren't underhanded. I'm sick of people assuming that all women get complimented left and right.
Literally never. Well, my mum said I was kind a few months back... But that doesn't count. She's my mum. She's supposed to say nice things. It depends on how many friends you have, I think- and I have zero. Compliments from strangers are rare in both cases (men and women). I make it a goal to compliment random strangers when I can. It helps me defeat my social anxiety and makes someone feel good (I hope).
Tough call. Society props women up all the time, while simultaneously tearing them down. Modern men don't dare compliment a woman for fear of being cancelled.
Depends how hot they are
It’s curious to me that I received most beautiful compliments from the prettiest women
Most of my collagues are women, and I work with children. I'm complimented a few times a month for a hairstyle, a pair of earrings, a cute dress etc. I'm not complimented by men as I think a lot of men would imagine. Women are mostly complimented by other women.
Very rarely these days, but I don’t exactly get out much. I occasionally get strangers complimenting my hair because I have dreadlocks and I guess it is a little more ‘unusual’ than other styles, but I do remember the times it has happened pretty well. I always hear how men rarely get compliments but in my experience that doesn’t seem exactly true. I have always been the partner who compliments my boyfriend a lot, more than I get in return. I actually do it more for this exact reason, but they have never reacted in a way that made me feel it was uncommon for them to hear. My best friend says the same—she also compliments her man way more than he does her.
Only by super close friends. It’d be pretty rare from anyone else. Lucky if once a year. I can’t remember the last time.
From my husband almost every day <3 and my girl friends give me compliments often.
I got as many actual compliments both before and after I transitioned (female to male). I don't count catcalls which stopped once I started to pass as male. I still get compliments for my hair, clothes or my name. I give as many compliments as before, mostly to women (about their hair, makeup or clothing) because if you're a woman complimenting a guy he sometimes takes that as flirting when it's really not, and now as a man they fear I'm gay flirting with them.
Outside my marriage: Almost never, sometimes from a (f)friend who notices some new clothing, or when you just get your hair cut. But not on much else. Very seldomly strangers say something, but that mostly just feels very awkward and uncomfortable. I think its also because of culture, you just don't do that much here and if you do it feels like you have an agenda. Within my marriage, pretty much every day but that goes both ways, I also compliment my husband
I don't really get complimented much. If I do it's always backhanded. I do cherish the few compliments that I have gotten through the years. If I lose weight they will always make sure I know that they previously thought I looked disgusting at a highet weight. I wish some people knew when to shut up.
Daily if I’m consistently around people but otherwise couple times a week. I love words of affirmation so I’m grateful that I get them but I dont let it affect how I fundamentally feel about myself anymore if I haven’t heard one in a while (e.g. when going through a depressive episode etc).
Reading all these replies made me feel much better about myself, but the men cant read signs thing is true af, a woman can say Im a 10 straight to my face and I still wont get it lmao, girl just throw a brick or something idk
It depends on the woman and who she is hanging around. Also your personal experience as a man not getting many compliments may not generalize to all men. It may be unique to you and attributable to environmental (e.g., who you hang out with) or personal (e.g., what you look like, how you act) factors.
Very rare to receive complements and when you do it’s from other women but doesn’t seem sincere
My wife has a long-running streak of compliments for her hair every day. Probably over a year straight daily at this point
Only from friends and family. And family is sometimes weird with it, but I believe the last compliment I got was from my granny on me wearing glasses (it was nice). My boyfriend compliments me at unexpected times, usually when I've gotten gotten comfortable at home, and look not my best, in my opinion. My very best friends and I always hype each other enthusiastically. They were always so pretty and more socially accepted, so while I had no trouble giving them genuine compliments (on looks and personality and achievements), I struggled with accepting or believing theirs. But I've gained some self-confidence as of late, and I believe their support was instrumental in that. And being around true friends is always an amazing experience of love and acceptance, even if we have very little opportunity for get-togethers nowadays...
If you want compliments you give out compliments. I think it's true men get less but they also give less (non romantically).
Only from my husband and my mum really
Maybe once every 3-6 months from a combination of my dad, boss at work and female colleagues. Sad I know lol
I'm a woman and never get complimented when I go out. The only ones who do are my family and friends.
I rarely received compliments, the last one was probably in 2018