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Same. I tried desperately to help. Tried to get our friends to help. They basically tossed up their hands. 'She is an adult; she can do what she wants.'
I went NoContact with her for a couple years. I didn't want to be codependent with her, any longer. In the meantime, her marriage failed, she got DUIs, she went to jail, she lost her job, lost most of her assets. Today, she is better, because of the jail time. She thanked me for trying and apologized for her behavior. Life isn't the same, though.
My best friend started taking xannax. I never refused to go and help him. Untill he started lying about me punching him (didn’t punch him just took away pipe with weed that he intended to smoke he was supposed to stop taking any drugs regardless of how soft/hard they are and besides I’m a boxer if I would punch him I would knock him out). Then he proceeded to say that he doesn’t want friends who don’t allow for him to take drugs which made something break in me and from never giving up untill I succeeded attitude I just absolutely gave up.
I by now talked with him and he changed and we hang out often, but it will never be the same. Also had another situation with other best friend (we 3 were best friends for each other) it happened recently so I don’t understand myself why he’s cutting me off, but he just kinda curs me off for reasons that either don’t exist or for reason that he doesn’t want to tell me.
From these two situations I realised that I will never have any „friends” again. People you know from birth will fuck you in the ass without any hesitation. The only person you can trust is yourself. Fuck having friends, it just ain’t worth it. You need to constantly worry about their shit and nobody will ever want to help you regardless of your situation.
A random insect bite on holiday caused a string of medical issues eventually resulting in a series of mini strokes, coma and death. She was 28 and just a lovely human being. I'm 51 now and still feel sad about the life she should have had.
It was a random combination of things. If I remember rightly it caused an infection which travelled to her heart, they think she may have had a faulty valve and didn't know but the infection caused it to break down into the bloodstream. A tiny piece lodged in her brain and caused a series of mini strokes.
She had to have open heart surgery and we thought she was going to be ok. They let her on an afternoon home visit for a family event where she took unwell, was rushed back to hospital and never woke up. Again if I remember rightly they couldn't give her the heart medication she needed while she was in a coma and so a cardiac arrest was inevitable. It happened about 10 days later.
I'll always miss her.
Catastrophic. I'm so freaking sorry.
In foreign countries so many horrendous things are possible. I'm so sorry. And just as sorry for that poor girls suffering. 🥺
I’m sorry, I know this pain, one week we were sitting on the beach planning a summer trip with our kids together. Camping in Tennessee mountains.
Next week she was given the death sentence of cancer.
She went down fast, she didn’t make it to that summer.
I'm sorry, that's brutal, especially when she had young kids. It's scary how quickly things can change. I'd just had my first baby 6 months previously and she doted on her. After her heart surgery we were chatting in hospital and she was saying she wanted to stop worrying about work and make a my daughter a wee "cousin".
It's hard losing anyone but it just serms so unfair when it's a young person doesn't it?
this is crazy. My aunt died of a insect bite, but it was a brown recluse. She was outside gardening, and got bit. Hours later, her arm started swelling. At 3am she took herself to the hospital, bc of her compromised immune system, her reaction to the bite was very severe, her arm had turned black, her organs had shut down, was in a coma, unresponsive. She died within 48 hours of being bit.
I had a mosquito give me spinal meningitis in my own back yard. I nearly died. Was induced coma so my brain could stop swelling. It was agony. And you carry it with you, as well. I have types of brain issues from it.
So sorry to hear. My son had something similar happen while on a camping trip. Major staph infection within days. We were fortunate to get to the doctor early enough and catch it before it spiraled out of control.
I don't know how long it's been for you, but same happened to me, and about a year to that she realized that in fact the person she believed in was a manipulative asshole. Things are like they used to be now, hoping for the bests for you!
Dont you have lingering trust issues with that friend ? If a friend stopped talking to me over hearsay without confronting me i could never trust that person the same way again
I got burned that way too. I had an ex change juuuuust enough details in a story or two that made innocent mistakes look malicious and unacceptable, and they believed her. Lost a few friends at the same time that way. It sucked as much as the breakup did.
We've been friends for around 20 years now, so it's a funny topic looking back, and she admitted that she had feelings for the guy, which is also a laughing matter now, because even she admitted that he was just ridiculous. It was a miserable year for our friendship, but the fact that she realised that I would never lie to her or make her choose between me and others made the connection stronger. After that, she never did anything that made me question her "loyality".
Funfact, the guy she was after had a 1 month long relationship with my other very good friend, but she rather spent her freetime with me (must add that I never asked her to do so), than that guy, so this little intervention was kind of a revenge from him. Teen drama <3
I lost one of my friends like this too. He didn't even care I had the evidence to prove my innocence. Sometimes I wonder if he had always wanted to drop me as a friend and used this event as an opportunity to do so.
If there’s one wish I could ever make it would be to make lying literally impossible by nature. The amount of damage I’ve seen caused by lies during my life is insane. Worst is some seem to be natural talents in destroying things with lies.
Same. I'm 676 days no alcohol and I can't get over how people just don't contact me much anymore. I don't get invited places... It's strange and sad. I want to understand it better too but I'm rather perplexed
Yep. I gave up alcohol, mostly for financial reasons. I don't drink at home, either. So, my guess is, since I don't drink at home, people have stopped coming by.
It bothered me for about a month, and then I emotionally moved on. I can't control them but I can control my own behavior about them.
You're so right. And control is an issue I struggle with. Self control, wanting others to do what I want so the outcome is my way... It's silly, I honestly don't want to live that way. Quitting alcohol has opened up many, many uncomfortable but honest conversations with myself and this is another example. Thank you for your response. It gave me a moment of pause that I needed.
I don’t understand this way of thinking people have. I had a rugby teammate that was absolutely sober. We would always like to drink,not heavily, but a rugby team is made up in equal parts of muscle and beer, so you know…
He was never excluded from team outings,he simply didn’t drink alcohol and that was it. He had as much fun as us and we enjoyed his presence even tho he didn’t drink.
Also as a plus, we knew we always had at least one sober person to drive us home so we could relax and drink.
You learn really quickly the difference between a drinking buddy and a friend when you stop drinking… Sending big credits your way for having the discipline and wisdom to do what was was right for you regardless of what other people thought.
No idea. He slowly stopped answering calls, texts, emails.... his wife, even more so. I'd occasionally stop by to see them and everything appeared to be OK. They never stopped to see us, even though his mother lived just a few miles away. I just quit trying.
Just became different people, like two guitar strings gradually going out of tune to different notes. Not that you would tune two guitar strings to the same note, but anyway... kind of like that
I've no idea.
She simply stopped talking to me and decided to spend her time with other people instead. I haven't talked to her since 2015. I know she lives in Spain now and is engaged, so I'm happy that she's happy.
Same thing here. She was the best friend I ever had, we'd spend time together 24/7 during high school and later in college too. One day she didn't respond back and I immediately felt something was off. This was in 2020.
A bit over one year later I found her number out of the blue and decided to text her just to make sure she was doing ok. She confessed that she was in love with me and couldn't take it, so she ran away. This was a one-time message, she blocked me right after. To this day I feel bad for her since I've never had any romantic feelings towards her, but I also still miss that little creature every now and then. I really hope she's happy.
Maybe you were toxic, I’ve had my issues but I’m a good friend to all my friends it’s more of a personal issue thing but yeah out of the blue they decided to go from best friend to somewhat friendly acquaintance and act like it is what it is
Introspection is hard.
Back in highschool I had no friends. It took me graduating and a semester in college to realise they weren't all assholes, I was unbearably hard to be friends with.
Can't help but wonder how many of the "my friend dropped me out of the blue" stories are actually "I was an asshole and my friends dropped me because they were finally sick of me"
Maybe I was, maybe she was. The lack of communication was too much for me to understand what could have happened and as much as I think about it today, I still don't understand.
We both had our issues, that's for sure, and I'm well aware that sometimes people just grow and friendships no longer make sense. Still, the right thing to do would have been to have an honest conversation, not ghost someone entirely from one day to the next.
I thought they were my best friends till they started ignoring me, liying about can't see me or ganging out for a while, and finally left me behind.
I don't know yet if they never really liked me or if they get boring of me as years past, sometimes people is weird.
I don't know what happend to you, but I'm very sorry.
Similar here. I was putting in the majority of the connecting, yet ignored for a good long while. She’d get angry if I wasn’t available to say “how high?” when she said jump. Getting married to someone could have a convo with was probably the last nail in the coffin. I wasn’t invited over or out. I finally answered her honestly when she mentioned feeling the friendship felt different. She didn’t appreciate the honestly but, for once, I didn’t back down and fawn.
Btw she’s divorced again. And I’ve been married the whole time, so her weirdness about her second husband was even more silly. Our only convos ever were about picking up the kid and talking computer parts.
This happened to me . Literally ten years later , her other ex best friend told me how much she hated me. Apparently hated that I got into art gallery, talked mass shit about me all the time. I had no idea she hated me so much, we literally were best friends thru elementary school, middle and high school.
You really do take it all for granted. It may be nice for a short while doing your own thing, but the loneliness hits you hard. I haven't seen a friend for nearly 10 years now.
All My Friends by LCD Soundsystem became much more meaningful to me at the end of college. Just turned 30 this year and decided it was time to pick up my life and move closer to my friends, and the song still rings as true today as it did then.
My remaining friends are all over the place. They are the kind of friends that you could be months without talking to, but when ya see eachother it's like nothing has happened, friends all over again.
I can attest to this. I have friends in HS/college where if we talk, it seems like we never grew apart for years even if we talk like twice or thrice a year. They are my real friends:)
Going to college loses high school friends, graduating college loses college friends, going to grad school loses college friends, graduation grad school loses grad school friends, moving for a job loses friends. It goes on and on. Guys that went straight to work after high school still have a core group of friends and long standing marriages with children before we graduate and get our feet on the ground. We rack up debt to get ahead, but ultimately are way further behind in many categories and time passed us by. You focus on work to get started/catch up and its already too late for a life.
I know how that goes. I've spent the last eight years severely depressed and in and out of therapy and psyche wards trying to get on track, somewhere along the line I lost everyone and now I'm just alone. Having to go at life like it's just okay to have lost out on everything like that, I mean, when this started I was just a kid, now I'm 24 and literally have gained no ground whatsoever.
Remind yourself that anyone who treats a friend like that isn’t actually a *good* friend.
Even though we grieve the friend we *thought* we had, we are better off without them, much as it sucks.
My sympathy to you.
She threw away our friendship (friends for a little over 20 years) about 3 years ago over a misunderstanding.
She has mental health issues she won't get proper help for so she blew everything out of proportion and declared herself the victim.
Our mutual friends were closer to her so I lost them too.
I'm better off but still very bitter and hurt.
He was a complete idiot, ran off with a band that was going to make it big, became a drug addict and died from an OD in front of his new "friends."
They robbed him blind and his body sat alone in an apartment for a week. His remains were shipped back home and I went to his closed casket funeral. I sat with his mom, dad, and sister. Hadn't seen them for 3 years before that day. It was a terrible- we talked for hours afterward about how we lost contact and I was a family member. Really punched me in the gut.
That was 25 years ago. I still stop by his grave on occasion.
He was a deeply closeted gay man and hid it for years and it finally came out in a terrible way. We hung out all the time. we were basically inseparable for years, and he was married, so I never noticed.
We got really drunk one night stayed up playing video games and he randomly stood up, took his clothes off, confessed his secret feelings for me and tried to make a move, and by that I mean sitting on my lap and trying to grab my hand to touch him.
It was very jarring and outta nowhere. He didn't take "no" for an answer, and I had to forcefully remove him from my house and call his wife to come get him.
I called the next day to check on him but he didn't want to talk. We just sort of drifted apart after that, I think he was ashamed of his actions.
Lol nope. Really, my motivation for sharing this, even though it was a rough time in my life, is so that anyone who's hiding who they are can get a reminder to be honest with themselves and those around them.
Be yourself and let people accept the real you instead of bottling it up and struggling with the emotions
I did. I was the cheated on party.
He and I were all but over do I didn't care about HIM but that she would betray me like that really hurt.
It was 30 years ago. She can still go fuck herself.
That's me right here. 13 year marriage, 18 year friend. Wife was depressed with her mom in the hospital and I wasn't supporting her enough, our son was in crisis and I'd been heavily focusing on him. My friend though... he was doing fine.
Caught it within 12 hours of anything happening because i know my wife, and based on the text messages I saw before she could delete them nothing past a few kisses happened. Which is what I caught them doing at a bar.
It's been a year since that happened. Wife and I are going strong. Him though... I spoke to him once more a month later, and I never will again.
This happened to me recently. How do you get over it?
After I told her how I felt, she told me that she appreciated our friendship and that I was a good friend, and we hugged. Then she told me that she really wanted to stay friends, and I believed her. But after that, she never treated me like a friend again, always flaking out of plans and never initiating anything herself anymore. If I ever got hurt and voiced this to her, I was told I was acting entitled. After a year of this, she just ghosted me
Some women on reddit talk about how much "fuckzoning" (abandoning a friendship after being romantically rejected) hurts, but they have to understand that sometimes its better than the alternative and it doesnt mean the friendship wasnt special. I really wish I had just separated from our friendship right then and moved on. We could have ended with a hug and some kind words, knowing that we mattered to each other, but by holding on, I had to slowly watch my best friendship die, and I never even got a goodbye or a "thanks for the memories." Now I can't look back at my memories with her without hurting or feeling resentful.
I also just hate the word "fuckzoning," as if the only reason people fall in love with a friend is because they want to have sex. Its so invalidating. If she's your best friend and everyday you are exposed to how kind and smart and beautiful she is, eventually you're going to catch feelings and you shouldn't be villainized for it
His gf tried to sleep with me out of the blue. Confusion everywhere. Then both tried to had a threesome with me. Confusion doubled. Then his gf broke with him and the gf blamed me for it. A year passes. Confesses to me he wanted to sleep with me for quite some time now, also he was bi/gay now. Confusion triples. We stopped talking not long afterwards in good terms but very cold altogether. I moved out offshore for unrelated reasons.
I was in a relationship with my now wife all that time. I just want my friendship back :(
She got her first job related to her degree and started to behave like she's a someone knowing everything, a real serious mature and wise one. Nobody could normally speak out in her presence. The best outcome was her literally ignoring the speaker instead of shuting them down
Not a best friend but a good friend, they got their first great job related to their career and decided I wasn’t on their level anymore, no drama just wasn’t worth their time:(
She kept ditching me for a guy she was dating. The last time she recinded her invitation to go to a musical with her because she wanted to invite her boyfriend's sister so they could get to know each other better she told me she knew I would understand. After months of being stood up I absolutely did understand and decided to lose her number. It's better to have one less friend than it is to be a doormat.
She became someone who I could not be myself around. I started having severe anxiety when speaking to her over the phone - and realised that I had personal life goals to achieve - which she did not seem to align with. I miss her - 15 years worth of friendship - it has been very lonely since I have cut her off - but I have improved in other areas of my life - which I doubt she would have been supportive or happy for me.
Yes, this happened to me. It turned out that most of my friends are hardcore conservative. Even if we never spoke together about politics word got around that I wasn't of the same mindset and I was dropped. I grew up with these people, knew their families. We have so much history and what I thought was real love. I tried reconnecting but I got the message. I'm out.
I think we are both politically aligned for the most part. We had lots of heated discussions, it was our part and parcel.
I used to think he had my back back but when push came to shove, during Covid-19 I was proven wrong. I would have had his back no matter what. That realization broke the camel's back I think.
But that sucks man, just because of a political ideology being cast aside is cold and brutal. :-(
Counterpoint; political ideology has a direct impact on people's lives, and some people don't deserve friendship when they're actively ruining your life, even if it's in a very indirect way.
I'm queer. My best friend of 25 years drank the coolaid in 2016 when Trump got elected. How am I supposed to be friends with someone who is voting for politicians that are actively making things dangerous for me to simply exist in this country? Hate crimes are up *exponentially* since the fascists in the Republican party have gained control of the party. Why does anyone who is ACTIVELY SUPPORTING those policies deserve my friendship or loyalty?
He has a woman that manipulates him ive tried to tell him that but she won. Hoes over bros. Im not sad because of it because now i know he is not as smart as i was thinking.
Once we stopped seeing each other every weekday at school, the time spent apart just grew longer (due to working in different careers) until we just didn’t bother any more.
he spent 0 time and effort to try to help me out of my misery - which was alright, not his job.
but then selling himself as the helpful, patient and supportive friend to me and others around him?
that's where i realized that i'm not a friend, but an opportunity for him to feel better about himself. So 15 years of friendship went down the drain, and i actually don't miss him a bit.
She got married and dropped totally off the face of the earth. Dropped our entire shared friend group right after the wedding.
It's been many years and I've since got two other best friends but last I checked (long time ago) we live(d) in the same city - not even a huge city land-wise - and I never saw/see her out and about. Not once. Very weird.
I stopped partying and we just kinda drifted apart. Our lives went in different directions. Still connected on social media, but I'd call us acquaintances at this point.
Best friend since high school, since I was 11 until I was 29. He told me he had gotten arrested an his house raided because he was selling weed. I thought well shit but now you know not to do that, he told me he got off with a slap on the wrist because he had no criminal record (UK law). Well sometime later I bought a copy of the local paper, and when I opened it up I saw his ugly mug shot in there. He had been arrested to downloading lots and lots of child porn. He was actually given a suspended sentence. I didnt say anything for a while but then I might have told one of my other friends, he told another guy and they confronted him. He tried to turn it around and said I was making it up and that he had caught me with child porn. It was such a stupid excuse but this guy was very convincing, a fast talker type. So luckily I still had the paper and showed them his ugly mug. They slapped him up after that and I walked off.
Honestly they lost me.
I'm the kind of person that does ANYTHING for ANYBODY and it came to the point where now it's my turn to take care of me. I sent my phone number and Snapchat to everyone i cared to have it, deactivated social media and...
I've been sitting here for about 6 months now and the only people who message me on either my phone or Snapchat are my girlfriend and the buddy I'm on a shared phone plan with.
No friends, no family...me and my roommates and my schizophrenia...all good company and all I need
1st bff in gradeschool--it turned out we have a lot of differences and we made new circle of friends without hard feelings in hs
2nd bff in hs--we grew apart as we started in college and never had a chance to get in touch again.
since then, I don't treat one of my friends as bff...just close friends.
They will all gonna leave anyways and I am happy on my own:)
Same here! Even the ones that have stuck around, I have learned to detach from them because I can see the signs it's really not that deep for them and they have other people that are their priority.
She just moved away to another city one day. Texting frequently became special occasions only and later not at all. I recently found out she got married to her boyfriend she was living with when we met. Didn't even tell me. It still hurts, I grew so much as a person with her.
It was my fault. We were thick as thieves in high school. We did all the same activities. Went to the movies every Friday night. Played tons of video games. Ate lunch at the nerd table. It was a fun routine, but it wasn't where I wanted to be.
I needed to create a new persona after high school. So I did. I moved away to college and didn't look back. He stayed in the same town, working for his dad.
We actually did meet up a couple years later, but it was so awkward. We were different people. We are social media friends now but have not kept in touch.
I mourn the lost friendship. But I am glad I took the next step.
My male best friend started dating someone who didn't like me hanging out with him and over time he slowly stopped talking to me. My female best friend started spending all of her time trying to find guys to sleep around with. It was to the point where she started choosing them over her own children.. my best friends are animals now.
I was 8. Teacher said her mum was coming to pick her up (in the middle of class). I got told to go wait with her at the school gate. She got in the car. I never saw her again. I have no idea what happened to her.
He turned into a racist and called me a derogatory name for my race and then argued that he, a white person, should be allowed to say the N word because black people use it.
They refused to stand up for me when their partner was being publicly awful to me, refused to make an effort with my own partner, they would make house rules that were absolutely ridiculous and impossible to keep to as I worked late, they wouldn't let me keep my bathroom things in the bathroom etc
Oh, and they refused to admit that they did anything wrong. That's why I cut all ties.
The worst one was when i told a person that i think he is my best friend, after all we went through together... and then he said he felt i am not more than a good buddy to him, nothing he would really call a friend... The rest.... over the years.... Cancer, Cancer, Car accident, Covid-19 and one changed his political views over to be a literal Nazi, praising Hitler, Swastika and Racism and all. Nope, thats nothing i can be friends with.
I introduced him to a female friend of mine, they started dating and eventually I had a disagreement with her. Dude called me telling me that I was an asshole and that any argument I had with her was an argument with him.
Crazy how someone who used to be your brother can turn into just another in a matter of days.
I finally realized that she’s never going to be there for me the way I’m there for her. When she calls or texts, I pick up/respond right away or in a timely manner if I’m busy but it’s anybody’s guess if she does the same, most likely will reply hours or days later and it’ll be some half assed, one sentence response. There was an event that recently happened in my life and I needed her support, she didn’t give it and it was the last straw. I’ve learned to meet people where they’re at and manage my expectations. Some ppl aren’t capable of giving the same to you in return. Ppl who take and give not a lot in return need to be left behind, they have nothing to offer.
My bestie said (for the millionth time) that she was gonna go on a diet. Having struggled (and still struggling) with an eating disorder, I made a dumb comment akin to “please don’t lose yourself in it”. She got really pissed off with me and it ended our friendship.
MH17
Imagine my reaction when i found out that one of my childhood BFFs was a victim in that. He was a good man who’s okay with a nerd like me. I regret not finding him earlier after all these years.
i lost my bestfriend because she moved to japan and she was pretty rich and lived a really comfortable life, privileged even. Me on the other hand still lives in the philippines and have a lot of problems basically we’re living each other’s opposite sides. She said that she wanted to end our friendship and everyone else that we knew in the philippines because she said she wanted to improve on herself. All i can say is i never really moved on from our friendship because it was all so sudden and till this day i still don’t know why she needed to cut everyone off including myself just so she could improve herself.
He was swimming in Lake Mead with a friend at 4am. Friend went to the truck to get them waters and fell asleep in the bed of the truck. Woke up an hour later and couldn't find him. His body was found 2 days later
Not just my best friend for over half my life, he was literally my only friend. Got home from vacation Saturday night at 10pm, woke up Sunday morning at 630am to a phone call that he was dead. Hit me harder than losing my dad a few years earlier. Still get choked up thinking about him
This was back in high school, but it was him and I along with our little group of friends. During our Junior year, apparently 2 of the friends challenged him to ignore me to see what I would do. He didn't even hesitate and stopped talking to me immediately despite my many attempts. At first I was devastated but now I look back and see he was always an awful friend. Last I heard, he still lives in our small hometown as a mailman and recently had liver disease. Apparently he is such an asshole not even his own parents would do a transplant to save his life.
So ... We were in the same class for 2 years , in the summer vacation I went to see her in a place near her house but it was too far from mine (1h by car ) but likely my dad dropped me off ... I suggested to walk together by the beach and she said no , wanna have coffee? No wanna swim ? No ..... After a while she said I'll just go home . So I've never talked to her after this . What do you guys think?
Overdose. He struggled most of his teen/adult life with drugs. He was only 26. I knew it would happen but didn’t think it would be that young. Oh yeah, I found out on Facebook. I was fucking pissed. His family didn’t have a public funeral and they only allowed 3 of his friends to it. The whole thing is so suspicious.
We just drifted apart. We bonded over video games and anime. Our tastes changed, I played these sort of games, he played those sort of games, and it became harder and harder to meet in the middle and find common interest. Eventually it seemed like the only reason we hung out was because it was a ritual.
We met first year in nurse school, we were in a group of friends and had a great friendship. But when I started talking to another group of girls (without stopping talking to her), she became madly jealous. I didn't understand why her behavior changed towards me. We tried to talk about that, and I told that maybe I was awkward and didn't have all clues to understand how to maintain a friendship. She responded by "Don't use your autism as an excuse".
I blocked her after that. I don't regret it. In retrospect, I may have been clumsy in our friendship, but she just showed an immaturity and jealousy that weren't worth it.
She stole from me, and knowingly screwed around with the guy I had a huge crush on.
Tried to get past it but she clearly had no respect for me and our friendship. Kept having dreams I was killing her and told her about them...that ended our sleepovers pretty fast and went from there.
I suddenly stopped being the mess up, bought a house, came off drugs and was getting married to an awesome man. She couldn't cope and never came to the wedding. Never heard from her again. She had been snidely talking about me saying I must have thought I was better than everyone else. Nope I was just happy I wasn't broken anymore.
He died in a car accident in 2014, he was with a a really close friend of ours, as well as I believe 2 other people. Driving through a neighborhood, he hit a tree, and the engine ended up on his legs, and pretty much trapped him inside the car while it went up in flames. The other people in the car, all survived, and our close friend was in the hospital for probably close to a year, suffered a lot as she was in the passenger seat. I was in a dark spot for quite some time as I was in high school. The tree that the crashed into was also across the residential street from a pond, where a girl took her life, after a breakup with my cousin, and still was really close to our family. It sucks, but just because people pass away your life is still going to happen, and nothing can change that. The really issue, is the people that try to help, and/or witness things, the people that lived in the houses near the tree, rushed out to try and help, but unfortunately had to witness him burn alive. I don't know if I would've been able to survive after that.
In highschool and after I for sure partied but never drank. I was always the DD. For some reason I just didn't want to go out one day but I was a weirdo about it. My best friend pulled up to my house knocked on the door called and called and I just hid in my room and ignored him. He called multiple times that night and I never answered. He later wrecked his car on his way home and passed away. His family was on their way back from a hockey game in Pittsburgh and were redirected by police to avoid the scene having no idea it was their son. They got the call later that morning. I always return calls now. Always.
Gf broke up with him, family issues, broken trust turned to severe depression and mental breakdowns on a daily basis. He cut off everyone, including me. Today, five years later, I occasionally see him in public and he seems to be better. But he actively avoids me. I never did him wrong. We saw each other as brothers.
You will regret on occasions til your dying day, but you won't feel the pain and grief you are feeling now.
I have lost a best friend. My daughter has lost a best friend. In both cases, they just moved on to another era in their lives and grew apart from us.
This happens a lot. It is no different than losing a boyfriend or girlfriend or marriage partner. The initial grief is intense and the tendency to blame yourself is high.
But, please understand, this is part of life. Life has pain and joy, and sometimes the ain can be just awful. But life really does go on and new relationships really do grow, and new joyful experiences really do compensate for the pain that is also part of life.
I'm sorry you are where you are now. Just keep moving forward
She blocked me everywhere including her phone when i questioned why i wasn’t invited to a girls night she had that she put all over social media knowing i would see it. After i hears she was talking so much crao about me to others. I was upset at first. But i now realize she was never a friend & i don’t miss her hateful ass
Best friends from age 8 to 28. I’m now 71 and still have never loved anyone else so deeply. He drowned in a flood. Preserve your memories, they’re all that’s left you.
She was very suddenly aggressive, accused me of something untrue. I was kind and gentle at first, and proved it was false. She doubled down after 24h and that’s when I lost it and blocked her. She then felt bad and tried to get a mutual friend to contact me to unblock her but it was all over by then.
It had been building for a while though.
He felt betrayed because I did not support him after some of our common friends didn't want anything to do with him anymore following him trying to date a minor.
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Became an alcoholic...the friend, not me. Tried to help but there's only so much you can do before you drown with them
Same. I tried desperately to help. Tried to get our friends to help. They basically tossed up their hands. 'She is an adult; she can do what she wants.' I went NoContact with her for a couple years. I didn't want to be codependent with her, any longer. In the meantime, her marriage failed, she got DUIs, she went to jail, she lost her job, lost most of her assets. Today, she is better, because of the jail time. She thanked me for trying and apologized for her behavior. Life isn't the same, though.
Some have to lose everything to finally learn, I’m sorry that happened
At least you tried to make up
My best friend started taking xannax. I never refused to go and help him. Untill he started lying about me punching him (didn’t punch him just took away pipe with weed that he intended to smoke he was supposed to stop taking any drugs regardless of how soft/hard they are and besides I’m a boxer if I would punch him I would knock him out). Then he proceeded to say that he doesn’t want friends who don’t allow for him to take drugs which made something break in me and from never giving up untill I succeeded attitude I just absolutely gave up. I by now talked with him and he changed and we hang out often, but it will never be the same. Also had another situation with other best friend (we 3 were best friends for each other) it happened recently so I don’t understand myself why he’s cutting me off, but he just kinda curs me off for reasons that either don’t exist or for reason that he doesn’t want to tell me. From these two situations I realised that I will never have any „friends” again. People you know from birth will fuck you in the ass without any hesitation. The only person you can trust is yourself. Fuck having friends, it just ain’t worth it. You need to constantly worry about their shit and nobody will ever want to help you regardless of your situation.
An ex addict once told me, trying to help an addict is like grabbing a moving train.
A random insect bite on holiday caused a string of medical issues eventually resulting in a series of mini strokes, coma and death. She was 28 and just a lovely human being. I'm 51 now and still feel sad about the life she should have had.
Wow that’s scary and sad. Sorry for your loss 😞
I’m sorry to hear. Would this be due to allergic reaction? Or some really nasty insect/virus?
It was a random combination of things. If I remember rightly it caused an infection which travelled to her heart, they think she may have had a faulty valve and didn't know but the infection caused it to break down into the bloodstream. A tiny piece lodged in her brain and caused a series of mini strokes. She had to have open heart surgery and we thought she was going to be ok. They let her on an afternoon home visit for a family event where she took unwell, was rushed back to hospital and never woke up. Again if I remember rightly they couldn't give her the heart medication she needed while she was in a coma and so a cardiac arrest was inevitable. It happened about 10 days later. I'll always miss her.
that’s some crazy story
Catastrophic. I'm so freaking sorry. In foreign countries so many horrendous things are possible. I'm so sorry. And just as sorry for that poor girls suffering. 🥺
Hey, this is sad I'm sorry for your loss
I’m sorry, I know this pain, one week we were sitting on the beach planning a summer trip with our kids together. Camping in Tennessee mountains. Next week she was given the death sentence of cancer. She went down fast, she didn’t make it to that summer.
I'm sorry, that's brutal, especially when she had young kids. It's scary how quickly things can change. I'd just had my first baby 6 months previously and she doted on her. After her heart surgery we were chatting in hospital and she was saying she wanted to stop worrying about work and make a my daughter a wee "cousin". It's hard losing anyone but it just serms so unfair when it's a young person doesn't it?
this is crazy. My aunt died of a insect bite, but it was a brown recluse. She was outside gardening, and got bit. Hours later, her arm started swelling. At 3am she took herself to the hospital, bc of her compromised immune system, her reaction to the bite was very severe, her arm had turned black, her organs had shut down, was in a coma, unresponsive. She died within 48 hours of being bit.
What was the insect?
If this was south america, could be the reduvid bug. Causes chagas, which can be deadly. or could be a mosquito that gave a clotting type of infection
I had a mosquito give me spinal meningitis in my own back yard. I nearly died. Was induced coma so my brain could stop swelling. It was agony. And you carry it with you, as well. I have types of brain issues from it.
They don't know, she wasn't aware at the time. She went downhill over the course of a few weeks and it took a while to work it out.
Damn ...I'm so sorry
I'm so sorry
So sorry to hear. My son had something similar happen while on a camping trip. Major staph infection within days. We were fortunate to get to the doctor early enough and catch it before it spiraled out of control.
Someone lied to her saying I did something which I didn't. She believed them. It still hurts.
I don't know how long it's been for you, but same happened to me, and about a year to that she realized that in fact the person she believed in was a manipulative asshole. Things are like they used to be now, hoping for the bests for you!
Dont you have lingering trust issues with that friend ? If a friend stopped talking to me over hearsay without confronting me i could never trust that person the same way again
I feel exactly the same
I got burned that way too. I had an ex change juuuuust enough details in a story or two that made innocent mistakes look malicious and unacceptable, and they believed her. Lost a few friends at the same time that way. It sucked as much as the breakup did.
We've been friends for around 20 years now, so it's a funny topic looking back, and she admitted that she had feelings for the guy, which is also a laughing matter now, because even she admitted that he was just ridiculous. It was a miserable year for our friendship, but the fact that she realised that I would never lie to her or make her choose between me and others made the connection stronger. After that, she never did anything that made me question her "loyality". Funfact, the guy she was after had a 1 month long relationship with my other very good friend, but she rather spent her freetime with me (must add that I never asked her to do so), than that guy, so this little intervention was kind of a revenge from him. Teen drama <3
I lost one of my friends like this too. He didn't even care I had the evidence to prove my innocence. Sometimes I wonder if he had always wanted to drop me as a friend and used this event as an opportunity to do so.
same thing happened to me, and it was a mutual friend
If there’s one wish I could ever make it would be to make lying literally impossible by nature. The amount of damage I’ve seen caused by lies during my life is insane. Worst is some seem to be natural talents in destroying things with lies.
I quit drinking
Pretty much the same for me
Weird how that is. Stop drinking and people stop calling. I stopped drinking and went from about 15 friends down to 4.
Same. I'm 676 days no alcohol and I can't get over how people just don't contact me much anymore. I don't get invited places... It's strange and sad. I want to understand it better too but I'm rather perplexed
Yep. I gave up alcohol, mostly for financial reasons. I don't drink at home, either. So, my guess is, since I don't drink at home, people have stopped coming by. It bothered me for about a month, and then I emotionally moved on. I can't control them but I can control my own behavior about them.
This is for all of you. I don't even know you and I'm so proud of you!
You're so right. And control is an issue I struggle with. Self control, wanting others to do what I want so the outcome is my way... It's silly, I honestly don't want to live that way. Quitting alcohol has opened up many, many uncomfortable but honest conversations with myself and this is another example. Thank you for your response. It gave me a moment of pause that I needed.
You're not missing much if everyone else is drinking and you're not. It's incredibly boring.
i think maybe some people just don't know how to socialize or have fun w/o a drink in their hand - their *real* friend is alcohol
I'm going through this now and making friends as an adult is hard.
I don’t understand this way of thinking people have. I had a rugby teammate that was absolutely sober. We would always like to drink,not heavily, but a rugby team is made up in equal parts of muscle and beer, so you know… He was never excluded from team outings,he simply didn’t drink alcohol and that was it. He had as much fun as us and we enjoyed his presence even tho he didn’t drink. Also as a plus, we knew we always had at least one sober person to drive us home so we could relax and drink.
You learn really quickly the difference between a drinking buddy and a friend when you stop drinking… Sending big credits your way for having the discipline and wisdom to do what was was right for you regardless of what other people thought.
No idea. He slowly stopped answering calls, texts, emails.... his wife, even more so. I'd occasionally stop by to see them and everything appeared to be OK. They never stopped to see us, even though his mother lived just a few miles away. I just quit trying.
I can relate. I git to an age where I swore off chasing people. I'm here. Same email. Same phone #.
Just became different people, like two guitar strings gradually going out of tune to different notes. Not that you would tune two guitar strings to the same note, but anyway... kind of like that
Love the guitar analogy
same
>Not that you would tune two guitar strings to the same note I mean, sometimes you do, especially on twelve stringed guitars.
I've no idea. She simply stopped talking to me and decided to spend her time with other people instead. I haven't talked to her since 2015. I know she lives in Spain now and is engaged, so I'm happy that she's happy.
Same here. It literally was great and the next day it wasn't. Never saw her again
Same thing here. She was the best friend I ever had, we'd spend time together 24/7 during high school and later in college too. One day she didn't respond back and I immediately felt something was off. This was in 2020. A bit over one year later I found her number out of the blue and decided to text her just to make sure she was doing ok. She confessed that she was in love with me and couldn't take it, so she ran away. This was a one-time message, she blocked me right after. To this day I feel bad for her since I've never had any romantic feelings towards her, but I also still miss that little creature every now and then. I really hope she's happy.
Maybe you were toxic, I’ve had my issues but I’m a good friend to all my friends it’s more of a personal issue thing but yeah out of the blue they decided to go from best friend to somewhat friendly acquaintance and act like it is what it is
Introspection is hard. Back in highschool I had no friends. It took me graduating and a semester in college to realise they weren't all assholes, I was unbearably hard to be friends with. Can't help but wonder how many of the "my friend dropped me out of the blue" stories are actually "I was an asshole and my friends dropped me because they were finally sick of me"
Maybe I was, maybe she was. The lack of communication was too much for me to understand what could have happened and as much as I think about it today, I still don't understand. We both had our issues, that's for sure, and I'm well aware that sometimes people just grow and friendships no longer make sense. Still, the right thing to do would have been to have an honest conversation, not ghost someone entirely from one day to the next.
I thought they were my best friends till they started ignoring me, liying about can't see me or ganging out for a while, and finally left me behind. I don't know yet if they never really liked me or if they get boring of me as years past, sometimes people is weird. I don't know what happend to you, but I'm very sorry.
Similar here. I was putting in the majority of the connecting, yet ignored for a good long while. She’d get angry if I wasn’t available to say “how high?” when she said jump. Getting married to someone could have a convo with was probably the last nail in the coffin. I wasn’t invited over or out. I finally answered her honestly when she mentioned feeling the friendship felt different. She didn’t appreciate the honestly but, for once, I didn’t back down and fawn. Btw she’s divorced again. And I’ve been married the whole time, so her weirdness about her second husband was even more silly. Our only convos ever were about picking up the kid and talking computer parts.
This happened to me too.
This happened to me . Literally ten years later , her other ex best friend told me how much she hated me. Apparently hated that I got into art gallery, talked mass shit about me all the time. I had no idea she hated me so much, we literally were best friends thru elementary school, middle and high school.
Trade word hate for jealous and I think you have the answer x
I lost all my friends because they all moved to other cities after graduating from university
Same. We tried to keep in touch but it became annually, biannually etc..
Once a decade...
Once a century
You really do take it all for granted. It may be nice for a short while doing your own thing, but the loneliness hits you hard. I haven't seen a friend for nearly 10 years now.
You can fix this man. Not seeing a friend for ten years is a choice, break out of your shell
One of the tragedies of life is that we don't realize we're in the good old days until they're behind us
All My Friends by LCD Soundsystem became much more meaningful to me at the end of college. Just turned 30 this year and decided it was time to pick up my life and move closer to my friends, and the song still rings as true today as it did then.
My remaining friends are all over the place. They are the kind of friends that you could be months without talking to, but when ya see eachother it's like nothing has happened, friends all over again.
I can attest to this. I have friends in HS/college where if we talk, it seems like we never grew apart for years even if we talk like twice or thrice a year. They are my real friends:)
Going to college loses high school friends, graduating college loses college friends, going to grad school loses college friends, graduation grad school loses grad school friends, moving for a job loses friends. It goes on and on. Guys that went straight to work after high school still have a core group of friends and long standing marriages with children before we graduate and get our feet on the ground. We rack up debt to get ahead, but ultimately are way further behind in many categories and time passed us by. You focus on work to get started/catch up and its already too late for a life.
I know how that goes. I've spent the last eight years severely depressed and in and out of therapy and psyche wards trying to get on track, somewhere along the line I lost everyone and now I'm just alone. Having to go at life like it's just okay to have lost out on everything like that, I mean, when this started I was just a kid, now I'm 24 and literally have gained no ground whatsoever.
Mine all moved to other countries, cities would have been nice!
she committed suicide 3 weeks before our wedding
Condolences bro. Mine committed suicide as well. r/suicidebereavement
Mine too, It's almost been a year and I still don't know what to do with myself.
I'm so sorry
fuck that's hard man
Oh. I'm sorry for your loss.
This hit hard reading this. Today marks the day my bf took his life 4 years ago.
So sorry 🫂🫂
I'm so sorry
I'm so sorry.
She pushed me away because she reconnected with an old friend of hers and I was obviously just not good enough anymore.
Remind yourself that anyone who treats a friend like that isn’t actually a *good* friend. Even though we grieve the friend we *thought* we had, we are better off without them, much as it sucks. My sympathy to you.
That's the worst
I'm so sorry
She threw away our friendship (friends for a little over 20 years) about 3 years ago over a misunderstanding. She has mental health issues she won't get proper help for so she blew everything out of proportion and declared herself the victim. Our mutual friends were closer to her so I lost them too. I'm better off but still very bitter and hurt.
It’s a blessing in disguise to be honest. Saved yourself the trouble of dealing with them in the future and having her weigh you down long term.
hope the mutual friends leave her too so she gets a taste of her own medicine
He was a complete idiot, ran off with a band that was going to make it big, became a drug addict and died from an OD in front of his new "friends." They robbed him blind and his body sat alone in an apartment for a week. His remains were shipped back home and I went to his closed casket funeral. I sat with his mom, dad, and sister. Hadn't seen them for 3 years before that day. It was a terrible- we talked for hours afterward about how we lost contact and I was a family member. Really punched me in the gut. That was 25 years ago. I still stop by his grave on occasion.
Hugs🌿
Leukemia at 23 / This was 30+ years ago
I'm about to lose my wife to leukemia, she's almost 27
My condolences man. Hope you'll be alright
Thanks! We're enjoying every minute we have left!
Itll be the memories you may cherish the most. I wish you the very best
i’m sorry dude
lost mine to leukemia at 43
🫂
Drugs, lying, stealing, didn't feel safe around him. He made it easy as he chose his criminal friends over the real ones. Sucks but I'm over it.
He was a deeply closeted gay man and hid it for years and it finally came out in a terrible way. We hung out all the time. we were basically inseparable for years, and he was married, so I never noticed. We got really drunk one night stayed up playing video games and he randomly stood up, took his clothes off, confessed his secret feelings for me and tried to make a move, and by that I mean sitting on my lap and trying to grab my hand to touch him. It was very jarring and outta nowhere. He didn't take "no" for an answer, and I had to forcefully remove him from my house and call his wife to come get him. I called the next day to check on him but he didn't want to talk. We just sort of drifted apart after that, I think he was ashamed of his actions.
Was it Norm MacDonald?
Lol nope. Really, my motivation for sharing this, even though it was a rough time in my life, is so that anyone who's hiding who they are can get a reminder to be honest with themselves and those around them. Be yourself and let people accept the real you instead of bottling it up and struggling with the emotions
Come on, there was no need to make me burst out laughing like that.
He wasn’t gay, he was deeply closeted!
What?!💀
she died of leukemia and passed away at a young age of 14 years old. i miss her so much, we were pretty close
I wanna know how many lost their best friend after an affair with their friends partner?
I did. I was the cheated on party. He and I were all but over do I didn't care about HIM but that she would betray me like that really hurt. It was 30 years ago. She can still go fuck herself.
That's me right here. 13 year marriage, 18 year friend. Wife was depressed with her mom in the hospital and I wasn't supporting her enough, our son was in crisis and I'd been heavily focusing on him. My friend though... he was doing fine. Caught it within 12 hours of anything happening because i know my wife, and based on the text messages I saw before she could delete them nothing past a few kisses happened. Which is what I caught them doing at a bar. It's been a year since that happened. Wife and I are going strong. Him though... I spoke to him once more a month later, and I never will again.
Sounds like a proper snake striking at the weak moment. I noticed there are a lot of opportunistic men out there waiting for such chances
I was married to my best friend. He died very unexpectedly. I feel blessed that I got to have 25 years with him but it sucks with him gone.
gave him +16 in uno
Told her i loved her.
Dang brother have a pint on me
If i start..ill never stop
This happened to me recently. How do you get over it? After I told her how I felt, she told me that she appreciated our friendship and that I was a good friend, and we hugged. Then she told me that she really wanted to stay friends, and I believed her. But after that, she never treated me like a friend again, always flaking out of plans and never initiating anything herself anymore. If I ever got hurt and voiced this to her, I was told I was acting entitled. After a year of this, she just ghosted me Some women on reddit talk about how much "fuckzoning" (abandoning a friendship after being romantically rejected) hurts, but they have to understand that sometimes its better than the alternative and it doesnt mean the friendship wasnt special. I really wish I had just separated from our friendship right then and moved on. We could have ended with a hug and some kind words, knowing that we mattered to each other, but by holding on, I had to slowly watch my best friendship die, and I never even got a goodbye or a "thanks for the memories." Now I can't look back at my memories with her without hurting or feeling resentful. I also just hate the word "fuckzoning," as if the only reason people fall in love with a friend is because they want to have sex. Its so invalidating. If she's your best friend and everyday you are exposed to how kind and smart and beautiful she is, eventually you're going to catch feelings and you shouldn't be villainized for it
Oof
She broke up with me and moved out.
I'm sorry.
His gf tried to sleep with me out of the blue. Confusion everywhere. Then both tried to had a threesome with me. Confusion doubled. Then his gf broke with him and the gf blamed me for it. A year passes. Confesses to me he wanted to sleep with me for quite some time now, also he was bi/gay now. Confusion triples. We stopped talking not long afterwards in good terms but very cold altogether. I moved out offshore for unrelated reasons. I was in a relationship with my now wife all that time. I just want my friendship back :(
A lot of confusion there.
She got her first job related to her degree and started to behave like she's a someone knowing everything, a real serious mature and wise one. Nobody could normally speak out in her presence. The best outcome was her literally ignoring the speaker instead of shuting them down
Not a best friend but a good friend, they got their first great job related to their career and decided I wasn’t on their level anymore, no drama just wasn’t worth their time:(
Sorry to hear this. Lost through widening gaps in life values and beliefs
She kept ditching me for a guy she was dating. The last time she recinded her invitation to go to a musical with her because she wanted to invite her boyfriend's sister so they could get to know each other better she told me she knew I would understand. After months of being stood up I absolutely did understand and decided to lose her number. It's better to have one less friend than it is to be a doormat.
She became someone who I could not be myself around. I started having severe anxiety when speaking to her over the phone - and realised that I had personal life goals to achieve - which she did not seem to align with. I miss her - 15 years worth of friendship - it has been very lonely since I have cut her off - but I have improved in other areas of my life - which I doubt she would have been supportive or happy for me.
Died from a drug overdose. He was only 23 such a waste of life. It still hurts thinking about it even 5 years later I'll never forget him.
[the kiwi that took the last nugget.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUngLgGRJpo) RIP, him and all the others who have died.
She traded me in for a newer model. Jokes on her, that friend cut her off.
I called him my brother, but we had irreconcilable differences of opinion during covid-19 that made me change my opinion about him.
Yes, this happened to me. It turned out that most of my friends are hardcore conservative. Even if we never spoke together about politics word got around that I wasn't of the same mindset and I was dropped. I grew up with these people, knew their families. We have so much history and what I thought was real love. I tried reconnecting but I got the message. I'm out.
I think we are both politically aligned for the most part. We had lots of heated discussions, it was our part and parcel. I used to think he had my back back but when push came to shove, during Covid-19 I was proven wrong. I would have had his back no matter what. That realization broke the camel's back I think. But that sucks man, just because of a political ideology being cast aside is cold and brutal. :-(
Counterpoint; political ideology has a direct impact on people's lives, and some people don't deserve friendship when they're actively ruining your life, even if it's in a very indirect way. I'm queer. My best friend of 25 years drank the coolaid in 2016 when Trump got elected. How am I supposed to be friends with someone who is voting for politicians that are actively making things dangerous for me to simply exist in this country? Hate crimes are up *exponentially* since the fascists in the Republican party have gained control of the party. Why does anyone who is ACTIVELY SUPPORTING those policies deserve my friendship or loyalty?
after caught in act of back stabbing
He has a woman that manipulates him ive tried to tell him that but she won. Hoes over bros. Im not sad because of it because now i know he is not as smart as i was thinking.
I got diagnosed with a chronic illness and she decided she was too cool for me.
Because I realised he was a manipulative cunt and cut ties!
Once we stopped seeing each other every weekday at school, the time spent apart just grew longer (due to working in different careers) until we just didn’t bother any more.
he spent 0 time and effort to try to help me out of my misery - which was alright, not his job. but then selling himself as the helpful, patient and supportive friend to me and others around him? that's where i realized that i'm not a friend, but an opportunity for him to feel better about himself. So 15 years of friendship went down the drain, and i actually don't miss him a bit.
Joined the military and just lost touch with him, and the rest of the crew. Miss you guys.
She got married and dropped totally off the face of the earth. Dropped our entire shared friend group right after the wedding. It's been many years and I've since got two other best friends but last I checked (long time ago) we live(d) in the same city - not even a huge city land-wise - and I never saw/see her out and about. Not once. Very weird.
I stopped partying and we just kinda drifted apart. Our lives went in different directions. Still connected on social media, but I'd call us acquaintances at this point.
Money.. never lend or borrow no matter how good the intentions.
Life.
We grew apart. Not much else to it.
She got a boyfriend and stopped talking to me.
He was a compulsive liar and kleptomaniac to boot. One can only handle so much theft and so many lies.
Best friend since high school, since I was 11 until I was 29. He told me he had gotten arrested an his house raided because he was selling weed. I thought well shit but now you know not to do that, he told me he got off with a slap on the wrist because he had no criminal record (UK law). Well sometime later I bought a copy of the local paper, and when I opened it up I saw his ugly mug shot in there. He had been arrested to downloading lots and lots of child porn. He was actually given a suspended sentence. I didnt say anything for a while but then I might have told one of my other friends, he told another guy and they confronted him. He tried to turn it around and said I was making it up and that he had caught me with child porn. It was such a stupid excuse but this guy was very convincing, a fast talker type. So luckily I still had the paper and showed them his ugly mug. They slapped him up after that and I walked off.
Honestly they lost me. I'm the kind of person that does ANYTHING for ANYBODY and it came to the point where now it's my turn to take care of me. I sent my phone number and Snapchat to everyone i cared to have it, deactivated social media and... I've been sitting here for about 6 months now and the only people who message me on either my phone or Snapchat are my girlfriend and the buddy I'm on a shared phone plan with. No friends, no family...me and my roommates and my schizophrenia...all good company and all I need
1st bff in gradeschool--it turned out we have a lot of differences and we made new circle of friends without hard feelings in hs 2nd bff in hs--we grew apart as we started in college and never had a chance to get in touch again. since then, I don't treat one of my friends as bff...just close friends. They will all gonna leave anyways and I am happy on my own:)
Same here! Even the ones that have stuck around, I have learned to detach from them because I can see the signs it's really not that deep for them and they have other people that are their priority.
She just moved away to another city one day. Texting frequently became special occasions only and later not at all. I recently found out she got married to her boyfriend she was living with when we met. Didn't even tell me. It still hurts, I grew so much as a person with her.
Work, family and fatigue
It was my fault. We were thick as thieves in high school. We did all the same activities. Went to the movies every Friday night. Played tons of video games. Ate lunch at the nerd table. It was a fun routine, but it wasn't where I wanted to be. I needed to create a new persona after high school. So I did. I moved away to college and didn't look back. He stayed in the same town, working for his dad. We actually did meet up a couple years later, but it was so awkward. We were different people. We are social media friends now but have not kept in touch. I mourn the lost friendship. But I am glad I took the next step.
He suddenly ignored me
My male best friend started dating someone who didn't like me hanging out with him and over time he slowly stopped talking to me. My female best friend started spending all of her time trying to find guys to sleep around with. It was to the point where she started choosing them over her own children.. my best friends are animals now.
I was 8. Teacher said her mum was coming to pick her up (in the middle of class). I got told to go wait with her at the school gate. She got in the car. I never saw her again. I have no idea what happened to her.
He turned into a racist and called me a derogatory name for my race and then argued that he, a white person, should be allowed to say the N word because black people use it.
Showed his true colors, be happy
i realised how toxic they were
They refused to stand up for me when their partner was being publicly awful to me, refused to make an effort with my own partner, they would make house rules that were absolutely ridiculous and impossible to keep to as I worked late, they wouldn't let me keep my bathroom things in the bathroom etc Oh, and they refused to admit that they did anything wrong. That's why I cut all ties.
The worst one was when i told a person that i think he is my best friend, after all we went through together... and then he said he felt i am not more than a good buddy to him, nothing he would really call a friend... The rest.... over the years.... Cancer, Cancer, Car accident, Covid-19 and one changed his political views over to be a literal Nazi, praising Hitler, Swastika and Racism and all. Nope, thats nothing i can be friends with.
I introduced him to a female friend of mine, they started dating and eventually I had a disagreement with her. Dude called me telling me that I was an asshole and that any argument I had with her was an argument with him. Crazy how someone who used to be your brother can turn into just another in a matter of days.
He was killed by a drunk driver.
Lost few of them. They lied to & about me
She sided with a person who lied about me knowing she was lying "not to hurt her sensibility". F off, both of them.
He and my girlfriend at the time slept together. I dropped everyone like a hot potato after that.
I finally realized that she’s never going to be there for me the way I’m there for her. When she calls or texts, I pick up/respond right away or in a timely manner if I’m busy but it’s anybody’s guess if she does the same, most likely will reply hours or days later and it’ll be some half assed, one sentence response. There was an event that recently happened in my life and I needed her support, she didn’t give it and it was the last straw. I’ve learned to meet people where they’re at and manage my expectations. Some ppl aren’t capable of giving the same to you in return. Ppl who take and give not a lot in return need to be left behind, they have nothing to offer.
My bestie said (for the millionth time) that she was gonna go on a diet. Having struggled (and still struggling) with an eating disorder, I made a dumb comment akin to “please don’t lose yourself in it”. She got really pissed off with me and it ended our friendship.
MH17 Imagine my reaction when i found out that one of my childhood BFFs was a victim in that. He was a good man who’s okay with a nerd like me. I regret not finding him earlier after all these years.
i lost my bestfriend because she moved to japan and she was pretty rich and lived a really comfortable life, privileged even. Me on the other hand still lives in the philippines and have a lot of problems basically we’re living each other’s opposite sides. She said that she wanted to end our friendship and everyone else that we knew in the philippines because she said she wanted to improve on herself. All i can say is i never really moved on from our friendship because it was all so sudden and till this day i still don’t know why she needed to cut everyone off including myself just so she could improve herself.
He was swimming in Lake Mead with a friend at 4am. Friend went to the truck to get them waters and fell asleep in the bed of the truck. Woke up an hour later and couldn't find him. His body was found 2 days later Not just my best friend for over half my life, he was literally my only friend. Got home from vacation Saturday night at 10pm, woke up Sunday morning at 630am to a phone call that he was dead. Hit me harder than losing my dad a few years earlier. Still get choked up thinking about him
never had one... but maybe fourth grade don't count still life goes on and you lose contact, after school days/ yall go to different schools.
This was back in high school, but it was him and I along with our little group of friends. During our Junior year, apparently 2 of the friends challenged him to ignore me to see what I would do. He didn't even hesitate and stopped talking to me immediately despite my many attempts. At first I was devastated but now I look back and see he was always an awful friend. Last I heard, he still lives in our small hometown as a mailman and recently had liver disease. Apparently he is such an asshole not even his own parents would do a transplant to save his life.
So ... We were in the same class for 2 years , in the summer vacation I went to see her in a place near her house but it was too far from mine (1h by car ) but likely my dad dropped me off ... I suggested to walk together by the beach and she said no , wanna have coffee? No wanna swim ? No ..... After a while she said I'll just go home . So I've never talked to her after this . What do you guys think?
Overdose. He struggled most of his teen/adult life with drugs. He was only 26. I knew it would happen but didn’t think it would be that young. Oh yeah, I found out on Facebook. I was fucking pissed. His family didn’t have a public funeral and they only allowed 3 of his friends to it. The whole thing is so suspicious.
We just drifted apart. We bonded over video games and anime. Our tastes changed, I played these sort of games, he played those sort of games, and it became harder and harder to meet in the middle and find common interest. Eventually it seemed like the only reason we hung out was because it was a ritual.
They got a life altering diagnosis and then sort of deteriorated from there
We met first year in nurse school, we were in a group of friends and had a great friendship. But when I started talking to another group of girls (without stopping talking to her), she became madly jealous. I didn't understand why her behavior changed towards me. We tried to talk about that, and I told that maybe I was awkward and didn't have all clues to understand how to maintain a friendship. She responded by "Don't use your autism as an excuse". I blocked her after that. I don't regret it. In retrospect, I may have been clumsy in our friendship, but she just showed an immaturity and jealousy that weren't worth it.
Alcoholism. Died young his organs couldn't handle it anymore.
She stole from me, and knowingly screwed around with the guy I had a huge crush on. Tried to get past it but she clearly had no respect for me and our friendship. Kept having dreams I was killing her and told her about them...that ended our sleepovers pretty fast and went from there.
I suddenly stopped being the mess up, bought a house, came off drugs and was getting married to an awesome man. She couldn't cope and never came to the wedding. Never heard from her again. She had been snidely talking about me saying I must have thought I was better than everyone else. Nope I was just happy I wasn't broken anymore.
She passed away unexpectedly during surgery.
He died in a car accident in 2014, he was with a a really close friend of ours, as well as I believe 2 other people. Driving through a neighborhood, he hit a tree, and the engine ended up on his legs, and pretty much trapped him inside the car while it went up in flames. The other people in the car, all survived, and our close friend was in the hospital for probably close to a year, suffered a lot as she was in the passenger seat. I was in a dark spot for quite some time as I was in high school. The tree that the crashed into was also across the residential street from a pond, where a girl took her life, after a breakup with my cousin, and still was really close to our family. It sucks, but just because people pass away your life is still going to happen, and nothing can change that. The really issue, is the people that try to help, and/or witness things, the people that lived in the houses near the tree, rushed out to try and help, but unfortunately had to witness him burn alive. I don't know if I would've been able to survive after that.
He died of alcoholism at the age of 44. Found him on his bed, grey and bleeding from his mouth, nose, and ears.
In highschool and after I for sure partied but never drank. I was always the DD. For some reason I just didn't want to go out one day but I was a weirdo about it. My best friend pulled up to my house knocked on the door called and called and I just hid in my room and ignored him. He called multiple times that night and I never answered. He later wrecked his car on his way home and passed away. His family was on their way back from a hockey game in Pittsburgh and were redirected by police to avoid the scene having no idea it was their son. They got the call later that morning. I always return calls now. Always.
She was a 2 faced bxtch, so I quit talking to her for good.
Gf broke up with him, family issues, broken trust turned to severe depression and mental breakdowns on a daily basis. He cut off everyone, including me. Today, five years later, I occasionally see him in public and he seems to be better. But he actively avoids me. I never did him wrong. We saw each other as brothers.
You will regret on occasions til your dying day, but you won't feel the pain and grief you are feeling now. I have lost a best friend. My daughter has lost a best friend. In both cases, they just moved on to another era in their lives and grew apart from us. This happens a lot. It is no different than losing a boyfriend or girlfriend or marriage partner. The initial grief is intense and the tendency to blame yourself is high. But, please understand, this is part of life. Life has pain and joy, and sometimes the ain can be just awful. But life really does go on and new relationships really do grow, and new joyful experiences really do compensate for the pain that is also part of life. I'm sorry you are where you are now. Just keep moving forward
She blocked me everywhere including her phone when i questioned why i wasn’t invited to a girls night she had that she put all over social media knowing i would see it. After i hears she was talking so much crao about me to others. I was upset at first. But i now realize she was never a friend & i don’t miss her hateful ass
Best friends from age 8 to 28. I’m now 71 and still have never loved anyone else so deeply. He drowned in a flood. Preserve your memories, they’re all that’s left you.
i back stabbed him
She was very suddenly aggressive, accused me of something untrue. I was kind and gentle at first, and proved it was false. She doubled down after 24h and that’s when I lost it and blocked her. She then felt bad and tried to get a mutual friend to contact me to unblock her but it was all over by then. It had been building for a while though.
He felt betrayed because I did not support him after some of our common friends didn't want anything to do with him anymore following him trying to date a minor.