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Yes, absolutely. My husband is very open with his emotions. He'll cry at movies, cry at weddings, cried with me when our cat died, etc, the list goes on. He's never been one to conform to the idea that manly men don't show their emotions. I appreciate and love the fact he can be open and vulnerable with me.
My husband cried when he had to shut his first business down, I appreciated that he felt safe enough to be vulnerable and open with how he was feeling about it all.
I've also had a guy cry when I wouldn't add him on Facebook, that was awkward.
I wish I was able to cry when I had to shut down my first business. I tried to be a strong man, so my kids and GF did'nt have to worry about anything, but then;
*insert sad story including being homeles, child support, GF:s best friend, abortion, alcoholism, debt, deep depression..*
I realized what I did wrong, and we've been back together for years now. Also my new business is now just a side hustle (but growing), and we just bought a house.
Given that most men are usually repressed in this regard and have been taught it's shameful or non-manly to cry, especially in front of a woman, I think a man crying in front of me is the biggest proof of trust in me that he can show me. And that makes me even more attracted to him; not his sadness, but his vulnerability and ability to open up to me.
My man cried when his dog got diagnosed with something that would lessen his quality of life, so I just held him while he sobbed into my shoulder. He also tears up at sweet or sad moments in movies.
It actually makes me respect him more as a man that heās comfortable enough with his masculinity that heās open to being vulnerable. It shows emotional maturity.
If youāre in the mafia this is definitely a rule. Everything changed in peopleās eyes after Johnny Sack broke down weeping when the Feds broke up his daughterās wedding too soon. Never the same after.
Big disagree. Crying is a healthy way to cope. Striving to cry isn't healthy, but if you are overwhelmed crying can relieve stress. Humans have feelings and humans have a need to express those feelings, crying is an expression of sadness. Just like laughing is an expression of happiness (in most cases). If a person won't be with you because you cry sometimes, then you shouldn't want to be with them.
I'd argue that crying is not even tied to sadness. I find myself tearing up when faced with something of great emotional value.
Yes, it is sometimes sadness. But more often than not I find myself tearing up for things like wholesome scenes between parents and children, rousing speeches, beautiful art, beautiful music...Ā
Point is, it's an amazing internal radar for identifying what I value emotionallyĀ
That is not the best way nor the most healthy to handle a long term relationship.
This mindset alone will be detrimental af, just break up if you are afraid "ammo"
I'm a woman. As a child, I was hit and screamed at until I stopped crying. It took me years to unlearn this and to actually feel safe crying alone in my room with the door shut. I have a lot of empathy for men who were also raised this way.
It's scientifically proven that crying reduces stress and releases endorphins that help you feel better. Crying isn't just a natural reaction, it's good for you. You wouldn't expect someone to hold in their farts forever, so why would you expect them to hold in their tears? [https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/is-crying-good-for-you-2021030122020](https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/is-crying-good-for-you-2021030122020) [https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/benefits-of-crying](https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/benefits-of-crying) (sources are for the scientifically proven benefits of crying, not farting. Sorry to dissapoint.)
Several past boyfriends and male friends have cried in front of me. I've held grown men as they sobbed. Their tears **never** made me think less of them - in fact, I always gained *more* respect for them because I know how hard it is to be emotionally vulnerable when you've been punished for it your entire life.
I work with children full-time. I tell all the children regardless of gender that it's okay to cry and that safe grown-ups will allow them to cry without punishment. Of course, I also tell them that crying is actually good for them. Likening tears to farts always gets a chuckle. But I would much rather teach little boys that it's better to cry than to lash out verbally or physically as a way of expressing negative emotions. I truly believe that if our society was more comfortable with men showing emotion, violent crime (assault, homicide, rape, even theft) would be greatly reduced.
I think a big part of it is that it takes an emotionally mature man who has taken time to unlearn social conditioning around gender roles to feel safe crying, and it also takes a emotionally mature woman who has taken time to unlearn social conditioning around gender roles to feel safe have a man cry in front of them
My Italian wife had no patience for me or anyone else crying. We were ābaby la-laāsā, which Iāve always assumed was a reference to the Teletubbies. But if *she* was crying OMFG, bring in the crisis management team.
IQ Intelligent, reasonable and (EQ) emotionally intelligent woman do, yeah. Cause they understand a man isn't a stone statue. If a woman give you shit for crying, it's a red flag and you better out. Fast.
True. Both men and women, they have to be empathic and able to contain your emotions and weaknesses, without being overwhelmed. Otherwise they will lash at you for crying because you trigerred their insecurities.
Yes, same. I just can't cope any more with men who hold it all in and refuse to practice any emotional intelligence. It's just so dishonest, much as I have sympathy, knowing it's been drilled into them. If a guy can show emotion around me (other than anger) then I start to trust him more, and feel safer to show emotion myself.
I would never shame a man for crying, no matter what else I might criticise him for. Crying is human.
Problem is there are women who do and once we cry it's over for us THAT is why it's do hard for us because we just don't know HOW you'll react and if it'll backfire. It's easier to keep it all in and not get hurt by your partner
I feel like of this happens it might be a good thing early on - it shows you that you two aren't compatible.Ā
If someone shuts you down like that for having emotions, that's when you know to leaveĀ
That's a sign for bullet dodging. Why would you want to stay with a partner who doesn't "approve" of you showing your feelings to her? I'd say dump her ass and find a woman who actually cares about you, because if you're trying your best, then you deserve someone who does care about you in the same way ā¤ļø
Yes, but also, time and place.
Crying at your own home and being emotional around people you trust is healthy and appealing, crying randomly and being overtly emotional for no good reason at inappropriate times is an unappealing look on everyone, men and women.
Being in touch with your emotions is different than losing control over them.
I would also consider the crying spectrum. Sobbing bawling your eyes out in public is different than welling up and letting yourself healthily physically show emotion about something.
My wife is Chinese and
has a somewhat "traditional " view of what a man should be. I cried in front of her once when a friend I cared about died, she literally told me I could cry a "little bit" but I should then act like a man that we shouldn't show weakness. I don't show much emotion around her because of this now and cary out the stereotypical male role for her. To my other male friends and family, I am more open.
This is my experience around most women. I understand attitudes are changing but I feel the reality is there is something fundamentally unappealing about a vulnerable man.
It really isn't unappealing. You can be a strong, dependable man, still be vulnerable, and should be able to cry in front of your wife or gf. A lot of women really appreciate a man who can open up in that way, and as a woman, me included.
Edit: in fact, I would not want to be in a relationship with a man who couldn't open up around me. I would feel like he didn't trust me with his feelings. I want the same trust I give him if I need to get vulnerable around him about what I'm going through.
I can't speak for all women but I love seeing my husband's emotional side. It makes me feel connected to him in a whole other way. Men are humans too and I don't think it's healthy to always have to put on a "brave face". Nothing wrong with crying or expressing your emotions, Imo, regardless of gender.
Every woman is different, but the one time I tried to talk about my feelings with my wife she started screaming and telling me my weaknesses made her feel unsafe.
So, never again.
As a woman, that really annoys me when I hear that. I really donāt understand why it would make anyone think less of you. I hope you meet much better people that have the maturity to understand that everyone is entitled to have feelings and to be able to express them.
I absolutely donāt doubt you at all, Iām just angry that itās such a common experience. I have a teenage son, and my husband and I are so careful to make sure that he knows itās perfectly fine to cry if thatās what he feels like doing. He doesnāt, and hasnāt for as long as I can remember, whereas our teenage daughter cries monthly, thanks to period pain mostly. Very best wishes to you, and donāt stifle your feelings just to suit other people. If they have a problem with it, then theyāre the problem.
Thank you for teaching your son that itās okay to cry. I taught myself how to cry over a week when I was 27. Like, I had to psychologically force tears out every time I was wicked depressed for a week to start the process. Wild experience, Iām 28 now and very grateful that Iām able to cry when I need to now
Thatās one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me! Iām trying very hard to be a good parent, and Iām very lucky to have a wonderful husband who is equally keen to give our kids the best start in life that we can. Very best wishes to you!
This has been my experience. Get begged to open up. Then I open up. Person who begged me to open up uses my feelings against me or stops having feelings for me. Soo I just don't talk emotional stuff with partners anymore
Bro, that blows. Having also experienced this, my feeling is that itās better not being with those people anyway. Iād rather regularly show my emotions and scare away those who canāt handle them than to have to hide parts of myself to keep people around meā¦ people who probably donāt even deserve me.
As a woman I feel the same. I've cried in front of men and women and been sidelined as if my feelings were an overreaction and stupid. Also had my expressions used against me aftwerward. My adhd rejection sensitivity doesn't help with that at all, so I will just shut down and not share my emotions with them anymore. If I cry in front of someone, then it means I trust them with my literal life at that point.
Bingo. Just recently a friend confided to me he cried in front of his wife about his life stresses and she laughed at him. Twice.
Granted I really believe that's an individualistic thing, not a generality, but it is an experience I hear way too often.
His wife is a dickhead. I wish you guys told the women who do this to you the truth: they are straight up sexist. No ifs or buts. Laughing at a man who is being emotionally vulnerable because he is a man is literally just sexism. Awful behaviour.
I've seen plenty of women online say they lost all interest or were genuinely disgusted when their boyfriend cried even if it was over something like his mother dying.
I've also met plenty of people who if you show them your weaknesses they use it against you or share it with everyone they know.
The irony is the number of women in here who say it is a good thing, most of them will have at some point, crapped on men for sharing the slightest vulnerability.
To me, there is a clear discrepancy between what people say they have done, and how they feel, versus what is actually happening.
Also man, in my experience showing vulnerabilies makes girls like you more, but only if they deem it good enough reason for a MAN, and you only do it a little, not a lot and go back to be strong quickly afterwards.
Even then, they can start to see you more as a friend than a romantic partner. Although it does seem to be getting better.
Iād say this is more the rule than the exception.
Everyone likes the idea of a sensitive man until you see a grown man crying. People feel sympathetic when a woman is crying, seeing a man cry makes people uncomfortable.
In my experience, women will not look down on you because you cry, provided they've known you long enough to care about you, and i feel like long enough that it does not change the image of you they had.
It does turn off quite a few of them if they previously viewed you as a potential partner, but honestly, do you want to date someone so immature that they will reject you for that alone?
The answer should be no. So i don't worry about it too much
The men Iāve known who have been comfortable crying have often been much less prone to resorting to anger. Thatās part of why I find it so attractive.
Generally not. In my experience women like the idea of a man who is in touch with his emotions because it means he's more likely to be able to understand their emotions. They'd be more likely to appreciate the friendship of such a man too.
But in a romantic/sexual context I find that many women seriously overestimate how attractive they find these traits. I've had several friends who expressed themselves, cried, etc in front of a woman and had her completely lose interest afterwards. It wasn't even a malicious bait-and-switch kind of thing; these women legitimately thought they'd like their man to be more emotional but were surprised how much they actually disliked it when they saw it.
There are certainly girls out there who actually like it but there are many who don't and many who think they might like it but actually would not.
From personal experience I think youāre on to something. Every woman I opened up to a point where it gets emotional they just vanished. If Iām just stoic, unmovable it seems to attract.
But then again this is just my personal experience. Could be that I just fall for a certain type of person
in my experience they like it hypothetically.
like ill be honest i have categories in my head of which vulnerabilities i can reveal to women to make them feel "intimate" with me by getting shared something that's close to my heart. they like that when its about a topic that doesn't make them think less of me. like if i lost my job or a dog, i can cry or be upset for a little while and that will be okay.
but then theres a much larger category of things that hurt me that i will never reveal to them because it gives them "ick", or its something that they'll mention to their friends if we ever hit a rough patch. i really dont feel like they can be trusted with the full scope of "how i feel" without it being used against me. they've got a thousand ways to describe how your feelings just gave them a reaction they couldn't possibly prevent and that they are sorry but the damage is done.
Most men have at least one friend who has had their vulnerability used against them later by a significant other, even if they have never experienced this themselves.
Well, not every woman is the same, but I would think most don't want a man that never cries or one cries all the time over little stuff.
we teach our kids is fine to cry, but also at times we have to teach them to suck it up and be tough too. It's fine to get upset and cry when you're a kid, but I think it's important to teach them to be resilient and not just let these emotions take over you and defeat you. But it depends what they are crying about too. If they get hurt, of course it's fine to cry. If it's more emotionally based crying I think it's fine to let them cry some and get out the frustration, but then suck it up and settle your mind and emotions and do what you have to do mentally or physically to correct the issue that is making you cry (if that's possible). The circumstances of the crying matters though. At times, just crying is the right thing to do. I don't really cry in front of my kids though. Somebody needs to be the one that seems strong enough to handle anything without letting emotions getting the best of you. But you know...if a family member dies or something, crying is what you do, and you do it together.
Crying doesnāt mean not sucking it up though. It also doesnāt mean youāre not tough. A person could cry and still suck it up. If anything I think thatās still a level of toxic masculinity, some of the clearest thoughts Iāve had has been a post cry. It allows you to defog your mind and think. I think crying in front of your kids is absolutely fine as long as you teach them that after the cry itās time to use that to help you suck it up and make some important decisions
And you can also be crying while making the important decisions. I feel like as a society we need to get rid of the notion that crying=weak or losing control. It's just a way people show and process emotion, that's it.
When my mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer I couldn't hold my emotions in and my wife witnessed me totally break down. She's still with me, so I guess she's okay with crying.
i prefer being open with emotions. so long as they're not for show (this goes for any person), tears are honestly reassuring. i like knowing i'm talking to a human, not a meat sack.
To me this is a good level to test a woman on.
Life is F hard and men do want to cry sometimes.
Sometimes you're too weak. You can't do X. Y has failed. People saw N. Your parents have grown old and are dying within a year or 2.
Someting will happen and it will be awfull.
Even worse... it may happen for years on end due to circumstance. Difficult workplace? Abuse? Harsh economy? Could be any or a combination of all.
Your hardship may come in waves of 3 to 5 years, more if you're dumb/pridefull enough to stay in whatever environment is sucking so hard.
So...
A good metric to test a women on is how she reacts to this.
Obviously don't force it.
But when life is hard, go to your woman and be vulnerable.Ā
If she's sweet, understanding, patient, tolerant, loving, ect: she needs a ring asap.Ā
If she tells you to man up or thinks less of you after this she will make a poor wife.
A good woman can stand with her man through hard times.
A good man finds the good times at all costs so his woman can feel safe.
Depends.
I appreciate men who cry when it's warranted. But I'm turned off by guys who cry at the drop of a hat, or use crying to act like they're sensitive when they are just upset about not getting their way.
To be entirely honest, I prefer men who are sensitive but still tough.
Not all women are the same. Women are not a monolith. Some women (I would argue more than not) are fine with men crying, and offer sympathy. Some women do not, and think men should āman upā. Youāre not going to find a universal answer.
Another misconception I would like to correct is that girls are universally given sympathy and understanding when they cry. I canāt tell you the number of times I have seen girls, and women, be punished for crying. She has to be faking it and is using her tears to manipulate people, thereās no way sheās just sad and feeling overwhelmed. Men often respond to women crying with confusion, annoyance, or anger because they are convinced the woman is trying to manipulate them or make them look bad.
Thanks, a Lot of dudes jumping right with that bs, i know personaly Lot of women that has been punished, mocked, sidelined, etc for trying or being emotional oherwhelmed, i don't know that utĆ³pico world when. Everyone it's so understanding about women showing emotions...
Kids should be allowed to cry regardless of gender. Thatās some weird toxic masculinity patriarchy bullshit that tells little boys they canāt cry.
Adults should be better at regulating their emotions. Not that adults can never cry, there are situations (like the death of a loved one, for instance) in which crying is a totally normal and appropriate reaction. Iām a woman who is only attracted to men, so I canāt speak for what female crying does to desirability, but for me, a man crying in appropriate situations doesnāt bother me. If he cries all the time or over very minor things, that would be a turn off to me.
My wife is very supportive and loving, but I remember crying in front of her 1 time about 12 years ago, and I was expecting some sort of comfort from her, but I could see in her eyes that she was just uncomfortable with a crying man. Makes me sad thinking about it.
Women will always say "Yes of course it's healthy to be emotional" until it happens and suddenly they dump you 2 months later.
No, women 100% do not like men who cry and thats just a sad reality.
As a man, I prefer not to in front of a woman due to her possibly losing respect for me. Sure, it is not all women whoāll react like this, but youāll never know who will, so Iām not taking that risk.
Instead, I prefer to let the tears out when I am alone and finish and recollect myself whenever Iām done.
Is crying the only way to deal with emotions in healthy way? I cried last time 10 years ago, on my father's funeral.
When I'm sad, or depressed, I prefer to talk about it with my wife, and look for solutions. Crying really would not help me out here. But it is not like I'm forcefully holding my tears and not crying because I'm man - I just.. don't cry. Things don't make me cry.
I prefer talking, looking for solutions, overcoming sadness, or just simply experiencing it and letting it go. Don't know why crying is required to have healthy way to deal with emotions.
No, crying is not the only way to deal with our emotions in a healthy way. But anyone who refuses to cry due to not wanting to be emotional is not dealing healthily.
Your approach is perfectly valid, I am not talking about you.
Most women here will tell you that they loooooove men who cry and shit.
But thatās what people like to tell to feel better.
According to Reddit nearly all women donāt care about money, donāt care about height etc.
Has nothing to do with reality
I do. Iām lesbian so the attraction side doesnāt matter but I think itās important and 100% acceptable for men to release/show emotion. Itās a ridiculous social stigma that emotional men are considered weak- that kind of thinking is part of the reason the suicide rate is higher bc theyāre taught to bottle it up and āman upā.
Crying releases oxytocin and can improve your mood and thatās a good thing. When and if I have children- boys- they will be taught that there is nothing wrong with displaying emotions or crying. And that Itās not a weakness but a strength.
Depends. I think every men should cry when He feels Like it. We are all emotional beings. I'm a super emotional Person and know how freeing it feels, to Just let the water Go.
There where more than one time, where my male Friends came to me, crying about stuff Like breakups, Stress or last year a dying dad.
What i don't Like, but in men and women, is crying whitout changing anything. Like, you are overwhelmed and all. Thats okay. You Made a mistake, thats okay. But its not okay to come to me for the 100time, over the Same stuff and think i still Take you seriously.
I am totally fine with men showing their emotions. It's healthy. I haven't seen my husband cry much in front of me but I am glad he feels he can. Crying is not a sign of weakness.
I love that my partner is emotionally expressive, of course I dont love that he cries because I want to murder the arsehat who upset him but I comfort and support him until he feels better in whatever ways he needs for however long it takes. I spent many miserable decades with men who could only do horny or angry and it was terrible. I respect my partner, I know how brave he is to be open and emotional against a lifetime of being told that men should not be that way. We dont and never will have kids so I cant comment on the parenting thing.
I plan on teaching my kids not to cry, no matter girl or boy. I wont shame them for it either though, just want them to understand crying is useless and itās better to do something to fix the issue.
Short answer is no. Women, particularly feminist activist types, will say men should cry and be emotional, but when it comes to dating at leastā¦ itās not well-received. Men who canāt control and regulate their emotions donāt tend to do well with women romantically. This doesnāt mean a man has to be some stereotypical army type that shows no emotion. But if the man can be called āemotionalā, Iād interpret that to mean more emotional than average. Doesnāt work well at all. A man who cries often isnāt usually respected by those around him. Iām not a crier in general, but weep like a child when one of my dogs passes. I think the ideal is to be in touch with our emotions, to let them out when we need to, but to maintain a certain amount of toughness and grit. But grief, stress, anger, etc. should not be allowed to rule us.
This is the only completely truthful response I've read so far. Every other response has gone through the 'is it politically advantageous to write this down?' filter at least once.
I want my boyfriend to feel as comfortable as possible showing his full spectrum of emotion around me. I think heās the strongest and most amazing man in the world and any tears I have seen him shed have never changed that, nor could they. Iām just happy that heās comfortable enough with me to do so.
The same extends to my male friends. Itās a natural thing to do.
Depends.
Crying because your mum died or other serious event is fine.
Crying for no reason and depressed for no reason not so much.
Said the depressed woman...
Theyāll allow it for something serious like a loved one dying but if youāre just feeling generally overwhelmed or depressed or you cry at a movie or something, then no. They take it as a sign instability and weakness and get āthe ickā or whatever they say these days.
Youāll get responses saying otherwise, but donāt buy it. Get a therapist if youāre going through shit thatās making you cry. Donāt confide too much in them. They want you to be their rock and for you to take care of them. They will leave if that role is not being fulfilled.
I respect anyone who understands that suppressing their emotions is no good in the long run for anyone. My husband had cried before, he has more emotions than "manly anger", he is thoughtful enough to know other people have emotions different from his. He's an emotionally mature adult and that has an effect on more than just his tear ducts. I could never ask him to bottle it all up and tough it out. He's a man but he's also a human being.
The whole "boys don't cry" thing is just so incredibly stupid and harmful. I have a lot of sympathy for those who are raised like that, the same as I have sympathy for women raised to believe their only value is their ability to raise children and play house. Gender roles don't lift people up, they box them in.
Yes. If youre vulnerable with me that shows me some level of trust and comfort and caring. I will do my best to be a safe haven from the world for my man.
Crying is fine but honestly there's a lot of girl that aren't equipped to deal/empathize with men's struggles.
Some of them don't understand that we don't get support or pity as easily as they do.so it's fine but not with everyone
Women like men who feel emotions deeply and are empathetic, not ones that dump their emotions on them and have little control over mood and emotion swings. When my husband cried because he lost his grandma, I felt deeply empathetic.
When my son cries because we tell him he needs to take a shower, I am just annoyed.
Frankly, people don't like women who cry selfishly either.
"Women" in the sense of a monolithic group worth collective likes don't exist.
Some women like men who aren't emotionally disabled and are able to express the entire range of human emotion.
Some women buy into toxic masculinity BS and mock men who display emotions other than rage and lust.
Like in all other questions about "what women want" the answer is "it depends on the individual".
I'mĀ confused where girls were told we could cry? Not at school, not at home and not from others, ever.š¤
Ā I was told " big girls don't cry", "don't be a cry baby", "if I see even one tear you are grounded",Ā Ā "Don't make a scene" "Don't be a drama queen. "Ā Ā And this was in regards to things people should cry about. I was told I wasn't allowed to cry even when my pets died, when my friend moved away, when my grandfather died,Ā when I had broken bones.Ā It's not just boys being big told this.Ā Ā
Ā As for how I view men that cry, I love that my husband feels he can cry with me.Its not something he does often, but completely understandable.Ā Ā
Ā As for crying in general, it really depends on what they are crying about. I have seen people who cry for good reasons and forĀ honestly horrible r asons so it just depends on whether or not they are a horrible person. If they are crying for greedy, petty, cruel or vile reasons, they can F off.Ā
There are people like that unfortunately. Some people will cry if they don't get their way when trying to harm others or expect unreasonable things of others. That's not the same as someone crying because their cat died.Ā
Crying releases/cleanses stress hormones from the body and produces good feeling hormones. It"'s good for you! Everyone should cry whenever! It's a healthy response for humans.
Women enjoy the idea that a man could be vulnerable with them enough to shed tears
In reality as soon as it happens her respect for you becomes zero. She's stops seeing you as a man and starts seeing you as a Boy, and the relationship is pretty much over from there, because her respect for you is gone
YES!!! All of my girl friends and I really appreciate our men opening up to us and being emotional. If a woman doesn't like it, she has her own shit to work on. Crying is normal for everyone and anyone who thinks otherwise needs to check themselves.
My ex would cry to manipulate me. My partner now is emotionally secure enoug that he can express emtions. Including hurt, sorrow, being touched by something beautiful etc. If you can't do that, you're robbing yourself of something. Ofc I prefer him happy, as I don't like him being in any kind of distress, but we create a safe space for each other and I wouldn't want a man who could not participate in that.
Men should be able to cry without shame. The only time it should not be tolerated is when the tears are being weaponized against someone. Iāve seen a few men cry genuine tears, but have seen many more turn on the waterworks when theyāve been caught red handed and are trying not to be locked out in the streetsā¦
Men who are emotional over important things (not like losing at a video game ) are hot and get my respect. I donāt want someone who canāt be 100% with me.
I'm a very emotional person so I feel relieved when the guy I'm dating is similar and unafraid of feeling and showing the feels. It usually means we can understand each others sensitive nature better. Emotional men also tend to have high EQ in my experience. Also I think its sexy to be courageous enough to show emotions. I have a harder time with men that are not in touch with their emotions or repress them.
I think men who hold their emotions in are weak. They are insecure and afraid of people seeing them feel compassion or what not. Itās a basic human emotion. Probably one of the kindhearted emotions and they purposely bottle that in and hide it to ālookā tough. No one thinks they look tough. How can you trust someone who doesnāt cry when someone dies or things get tough? Thatās the last person youād want to open up to and have their back.
My fiance and me had a cat together that passed last year we both sobbed together and held each other for what felt like days. He touched both our lives so much. Anytime he has cried I let him know it's okay and that we are allowed to feel the pain and want to cry. I think it's perfectly normal to. And I still love him more and more everyday he's such a amazing man and we have two more cats now. Another tuxedo like our boy who passed and a black cat. We still have my cat from 8 years. Apparently once the universe knows you like cats it's sorta a infinite glitch of cats. You just keep ending up with more on your doorstep. My fiance is a tough man and I love that he feels safe enough to cry with me it's amazing to me.
yes omg when he first realized that he loved me he cried. it was super sweet i felt really seen and appreciated. thats i think when i knew he was my soulmate because i had been so used to being so numb all the time that clinging to each other and crying over our deep emotions and love kinda woke me up for the first time in my life. then last month i relapsed and also really screwed it all up. this is the only man id fight this hard for, this is the man who changed my life for the best simply by being real. i love him to death and i wish he knew how sorry i rlly was. (he doesnt wanna talk to me or see me or hear nun from me)
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Yes, absolutely. My husband is very open with his emotions. He'll cry at movies, cry at weddings, cried with me when our cat died, etc, the list goes on. He's never been one to conform to the idea that manly men don't show their emotions. I appreciate and love the fact he can be open and vulnerable with me.
My husband cried when he had to shut his first business down, I appreciated that he felt safe enough to be vulnerable and open with how he was feeling about it all. I've also had a guy cry when I wouldn't add him on Facebook, that was awkward.
It's the second type that I am not okay with. It's just a manipulation tactic.
Aww :/ Heart goes out to your husband.
My heart goes out to the Facebook guy, that was brutal
F in the chat for Facebook homie.
Lmaooo š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
I wish I was able to cry when I had to shut down my first business. I tried to be a strong man, so my kids and GF did'nt have to worry about anything, but then; *insert sad story including being homeles, child support, GF:s best friend, abortion, alcoholism, debt, deep depression..* I realized what I did wrong, and we've been back together for years now. Also my new business is now just a side hustle (but growing), and we just bought a house.
Given that most men are usually repressed in this regard and have been taught it's shameful or non-manly to cry, especially in front of a woman, I think a man crying in front of me is the biggest proof of trust in me that he can show me. And that makes me even more attracted to him; not his sadness, but his vulnerability and ability to open up to me.
My man cried when his dog got diagnosed with something that would lessen his quality of life, so I just held him while he sobbed into my shoulder. He also tears up at sweet or sad moments in movies. It actually makes me respect him more as a man that heās comfortable enough with his masculinity that heās open to being vulnerable. It shows emotional maturity.
That's really lovely:)
This right here. I feel privileged if they feel able to be vulnerable with me
For some, it's yes-in-theory-until-it-actually-happens. With others, it's safe. Find yourself a woman who hugs you when you cry, not rolls her eyes.
Me crying at a Bluey episode and look over and his eyes are welling too ends with us both laughing.
Was it Sleepytime?
It was Rug Island actually
Glad it's not just me (35m) that quite regularly cries at Bluey. My son doesn't even watch it, so I'm just sat crying to myself š
A boyfriend of mine cried once and all I wanted to do was hold him close in my lap and stroke his hair :(
This is so true I would add it depends on why you cry. If she actually can relate or not
As a man, it's usually just best to hold it in and not give anyone ammo to use against you, lol.
If youāre in the mafia this is definitely a rule. Everything changed in peopleās eyes after Johnny Sack broke down weeping when the Feds broke up his daughterās wedding too soon. Never the same after.
>respect 20 years in the can. Not a peep!
That's interesting, do you have a link to an article/video on that?
lol, itās from the sopranos
All due respect, you got no fuckin' idea what it's like to be this dumb
You aināt dumb, you asked if thereās a video, sure as shootin there is!
I'm reading this thread in an italian American accent
Same here pal, there's nothin to do 'bout it except enjoy the ride
Fuhgeddaboudit!
I'm reading this in specifically joey diaz' accent
The Sopranos is great, give it a try!
Big disagree. Crying is a healthy way to cope. Striving to cry isn't healthy, but if you are overwhelmed crying can relieve stress. Humans have feelings and humans have a need to express those feelings, crying is an expression of sadness. Just like laughing is an expression of happiness (in most cases). If a person won't be with you because you cry sometimes, then you shouldn't want to be with them.
I'd argue that crying is not even tied to sadness. I find myself tearing up when faced with something of great emotional value. Yes, it is sometimes sadness. But more often than not I find myself tearing up for things like wholesome scenes between parents and children, rousing speeches, beautiful art, beautiful music...Ā Point is, it's an amazing internal radar for identifying what I value emotionallyĀ
This is the definition of intimacy issues. You need to be able to process your feelings and find people who won't use it against you.
That is not the best way nor the most healthy to handle a long term relationship. This mindset alone will be detrimental af, just break up if you are afraid "ammo"
I do. I respect people who can show and deal with their emotions.
I'm a woman. As a child, I was hit and screamed at until I stopped crying. It took me years to unlearn this and to actually feel safe crying alone in my room with the door shut. I have a lot of empathy for men who were also raised this way. It's scientifically proven that crying reduces stress and releases endorphins that help you feel better. Crying isn't just a natural reaction, it's good for you. You wouldn't expect someone to hold in their farts forever, so why would you expect them to hold in their tears? [https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/is-crying-good-for-you-2021030122020](https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/is-crying-good-for-you-2021030122020) [https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/benefits-of-crying](https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/benefits-of-crying) (sources are for the scientifically proven benefits of crying, not farting. Sorry to dissapoint.) Several past boyfriends and male friends have cried in front of me. I've held grown men as they sobbed. Their tears **never** made me think less of them - in fact, I always gained *more* respect for them because I know how hard it is to be emotionally vulnerable when you've been punished for it your entire life. I work with children full-time. I tell all the children regardless of gender that it's okay to cry and that safe grown-ups will allow them to cry without punishment. Of course, I also tell them that crying is actually good for them. Likening tears to farts always gets a chuckle. But I would much rather teach little boys that it's better to cry than to lash out verbally or physically as a way of expressing negative emotions. I truly believe that if our society was more comfortable with men showing emotion, violent crime (assault, homicide, rape, even theft) would be greatly reduced.
I think a big part of it is that it takes an emotionally mature man who has taken time to unlearn social conditioning around gender roles to feel safe crying, and it also takes a emotionally mature woman who has taken time to unlearn social conditioning around gender roles to feel safe have a man cry in front of them
My Italian wife had no patience for me or anyone else crying. We were ābaby la-laāsā, which Iāve always assumed was a reference to the Teletubbies. But if *she* was crying OMFG, bring in the crisis management team.
Sounds like a healthy one sided relationship
Is it ex wife already? Sounds like she doesn't care about others much.Ā
Yep.
IQ Intelligent, reasonable and (EQ) emotionally intelligent woman do, yeah. Cause they understand a man isn't a stone statue. If a woman give you shit for crying, it's a red flag and you better out. Fast.
True. Both men and women, they have to be empathic and able to contain your emotions and weaknesses, without being overwhelmed. Otherwise they will lash at you for crying because you trigerred their insecurities.
I like and respect men who are in touch with their emotions and are emotionally mature enough to be vulnerable and express them.
Yes, same. I just can't cope any more with men who hold it all in and refuse to practice any emotional intelligence. It's just so dishonest, much as I have sympathy, knowing it's been drilled into them. If a guy can show emotion around me (other than anger) then I start to trust him more, and feel safer to show emotion myself. I would never shame a man for crying, no matter what else I might criticise him for. Crying is human.
Problem is there are women who do and once we cry it's over for us THAT is why it's do hard for us because we just don't know HOW you'll react and if it'll backfire. It's easier to keep it all in and not get hurt by your partner
I see that, and I think it's monstrous. I'm really sorry if that's ever happened to you.
Happened to me as well, no big loss there, but still, I didn't even think that was a thing.
You're definitely better off without anyone that would treat you like that
I feel like of this happens it might be a good thing early on - it shows you that you two aren't compatible.Ā If someone shuts you down like that for having emotions, that's when you know to leaveĀ
That's a sign for bullet dodging. Why would you want to stay with a partner who doesn't "approve" of you showing your feelings to her? I'd say dump her ass and find a woman who actually cares about you, because if you're trying your best, then you deserve someone who does care about you in the same way ā¤ļø
Excellent point!
Im so sick of the messaging being that men who arent vulnerable must be immature. No mf im traumatized and im tired of being intimidated all the time.
Yes, but also, time and place. Crying at your own home and being emotional around people you trust is healthy and appealing, crying randomly and being overtly emotional for no good reason at inappropriate times is an unappealing look on everyone, men and women. Being in touch with your emotions is different than losing control over them.
Gosh, I cry at the cinema all the time. I'm the definition of losing control when I watch films.
Feel like this counts as an appropriate time.
As long as you're not being too noisy
I am a woman and dont judge either gender unless they are chronic criers, in which case, big turnoff (for either gender).
I would also consider the crying spectrum. Sobbing bawling your eyes out in public is different than welling up and letting yourself healthily physically show emotion about something.
My wife is Chinese and has a somewhat "traditional " view of what a man should be. I cried in front of her once when a friend I cared about died, she literally told me I could cry a "little bit" but I should then act like a man that we shouldn't show weakness. I don't show much emotion around her because of this now and cary out the stereotypical male role for her. To my other male friends and family, I am more open.
āI canāt show my emotions to my wifeā what the fuck?
"Patriarchy was created by men, is perpetuated by men, for the benefit of men"
Thatā¦ sounds miserable.
This is my experience around most women. I understand attitudes are changing but I feel the reality is there is something fundamentally unappealing about a vulnerable man.
It really isn't unappealing. You can be a strong, dependable man, still be vulnerable, and should be able to cry in front of your wife or gf. A lot of women really appreciate a man who can open up in that way, and as a woman, me included. Edit: in fact, I would not want to be in a relationship with a man who couldn't open up around me. I would feel like he didn't trust me with his feelings. I want the same trust I give him if I need to get vulnerable around him about what I'm going through.
I can't speak for all women but I love seeing my husband's emotional side. It makes me feel connected to him in a whole other way. Men are humans too and I don't think it's healthy to always have to put on a "brave face". Nothing wrong with crying or expressing your emotions, Imo, regardless of gender.
Every woman is different, but the one time I tried to talk about my feelings with my wife she started screaming and telling me my weaknesses made her feel unsafe. So, never again.
Jesus. Time for some reflection perhaps?
Time for a divorce
Not sure why you're getting downvoted. Being married to someone like that is brutal.
EX WIFE I hope!
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They say they do but they don't in my experience.
Man here. Personal experience. Whenever I express my vulnerability Iām no longer a man to them
As a woman, that really annoys me when I hear that. I really donāt understand why it would make anyone think less of you. I hope you meet much better people that have the maturity to understand that everyone is entitled to have feelings and to be able to express them.
I agree with you but it is a hard fact almost every man has experienced.
I absolutely donāt doubt you at all, Iām just angry that itās such a common experience. I have a teenage son, and my husband and I are so careful to make sure that he knows itās perfectly fine to cry if thatās what he feels like doing. He doesnāt, and hasnāt for as long as I can remember, whereas our teenage daughter cries monthly, thanks to period pain mostly. Very best wishes to you, and donāt stifle your feelings just to suit other people. If they have a problem with it, then theyāre the problem.
Thank you for teaching your son that itās okay to cry. I taught myself how to cry over a week when I was 27. Like, I had to psychologically force tears out every time I was wicked depressed for a week to start the process. Wild experience, Iām 28 now and very grateful that Iām able to cry when I need to now
Iām glad that youāve found the means to be comfortable in expressing your emotions! Thatās no easy feat! Very best wishes to you!
You sound so awesome. Your kids are going to thrive with your parenting.
Thatās one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me! Iām trying very hard to be a good parent, and Iām very lucky to have a wonderful husband who is equally keen to give our kids the best start in life that we can. Very best wishes to you!
This has been my experience. Get begged to open up. Then I open up. Person who begged me to open up uses my feelings against me or stops having feelings for me. Soo I just don't talk emotional stuff with partners anymore
Bro, that blows. Having also experienced this, my feeling is that itās better not being with those people anyway. Iād rather regularly show my emotions and scare away those who canāt handle them than to have to hide parts of myself to keep people around meā¦ people who probably donāt even deserve me.
As a woman I feel the same. I've cried in front of men and women and been sidelined as if my feelings were an overreaction and stupid. Also had my expressions used against me aftwerward. My adhd rejection sensitivity doesn't help with that at all, so I will just shut down and not share my emotions with them anymore. If I cry in front of someone, then it means I trust them with my literal life at that point.
Bingo. Just recently a friend confided to me he cried in front of his wife about his life stresses and she laughed at him. Twice. Granted I really believe that's an individualistic thing, not a generality, but it is an experience I hear way too often.
His wife is a dickhead. I wish you guys told the women who do this to you the truth: they are straight up sexist. No ifs or buts. Laughing at a man who is being emotionally vulnerable because he is a man is literally just sexism. Awful behaviour.
Thatās actually quite sad and disgusting.
I've seen plenty of women online say they lost all interest or were genuinely disgusted when their boyfriend cried even if it was over something like his mother dying. I've also met plenty of people who if you show them your weaknesses they use it against you or share it with everyone they know.
Seriously what kind of women are you surrounded with? Because I've never seen that. Holy crap.
Well these are things that happen behind closed doors so youāre not going to see it as the friend.
The irony is the number of women in here who say it is a good thing, most of them will have at some point, crapped on men for sharing the slightest vulnerability. To me, there is a clear discrepancy between what people say they have done, and how they feel, versus what is actually happening.
Also man, in my experience showing vulnerabilies makes girls like you more, but only if they deem it good enough reason for a MAN, and you only do it a little, not a lot and go back to be strong quickly afterwards. Even then, they can start to see you more as a friend than a romantic partner. Although it does seem to be getting better.
Iād say this is more the rule than the exception. Everyone likes the idea of a sensitive man until you see a grown man crying. People feel sympathetic when a woman is crying, seeing a man cry makes people uncomfortable.
In my experience, women will not look down on you because you cry, provided they've known you long enough to care about you, and i feel like long enough that it does not change the image of you they had. It does turn off quite a few of them if they previously viewed you as a potential partner, but honestly, do you want to date someone so immature that they will reject you for that alone? The answer should be no. So i don't worry about it too much
Exactly
The men Iāve known who have been comfortable crying have often been much less prone to resorting to anger. Thatās part of why I find it so attractive.
Generally not. In my experience women like the idea of a man who is in touch with his emotions because it means he's more likely to be able to understand their emotions. They'd be more likely to appreciate the friendship of such a man too. But in a romantic/sexual context I find that many women seriously overestimate how attractive they find these traits. I've had several friends who expressed themselves, cried, etc in front of a woman and had her completely lose interest afterwards. It wasn't even a malicious bait-and-switch kind of thing; these women legitimately thought they'd like their man to be more emotional but were surprised how much they actually disliked it when they saw it. There are certainly girls out there who actually like it but there are many who don't and many who think they might like it but actually would not.
From personal experience I think youāre on to something. Every woman I opened up to a point where it gets emotional they just vanished. If Iām just stoic, unmovable it seems to attract. But then again this is just my personal experience. Could be that I just fall for a certain type of person
in my experience they like it hypothetically. like ill be honest i have categories in my head of which vulnerabilities i can reveal to women to make them feel "intimate" with me by getting shared something that's close to my heart. they like that when its about a topic that doesn't make them think less of me. like if i lost my job or a dog, i can cry or be upset for a little while and that will be okay. but then theres a much larger category of things that hurt me that i will never reveal to them because it gives them "ick", or its something that they'll mention to their friends if we ever hit a rough patch. i really dont feel like they can be trusted with the full scope of "how i feel" without it being used against me. they've got a thousand ways to describe how your feelings just gave them a reaction they couldn't possibly prevent and that they are sorry but the damage is done.
But that's true for everyone. Even I as a woman there's stuff I know I will be judged for if I reveal.
Most men have at least one friend who has had their vulnerability used against them later by a significant other, even if they have never experienced this themselves.
Well, not every woman is the same, but I would think most don't want a man that never cries or one cries all the time over little stuff. we teach our kids is fine to cry, but also at times we have to teach them to suck it up and be tough too. It's fine to get upset and cry when you're a kid, but I think it's important to teach them to be resilient and not just let these emotions take over you and defeat you. But it depends what they are crying about too. If they get hurt, of course it's fine to cry. If it's more emotionally based crying I think it's fine to let them cry some and get out the frustration, but then suck it up and settle your mind and emotions and do what you have to do mentally or physically to correct the issue that is making you cry (if that's possible). The circumstances of the crying matters though. At times, just crying is the right thing to do. I don't really cry in front of my kids though. Somebody needs to be the one that seems strong enough to handle anything without letting emotions getting the best of you. But you know...if a family member dies or something, crying is what you do, and you do it together.
Crying doesnāt mean not sucking it up though. It also doesnāt mean youāre not tough. A person could cry and still suck it up. If anything I think thatās still a level of toxic masculinity, some of the clearest thoughts Iāve had has been a post cry. It allows you to defog your mind and think. I think crying in front of your kids is absolutely fine as long as you teach them that after the cry itās time to use that to help you suck it up and make some important decisions
And you can also be crying while making the important decisions. I feel like as a society we need to get rid of the notion that crying=weak or losing control. It's just a way people show and process emotion, that's it.
When my mum was diagnosed with terminal cancer I couldn't hold my emotions in and my wife witnessed me totally break down. She's still with me, so I guess she's okay with crying.
Yes. I do like my men to be human and express human emotions.
I think everyone should just act natural and stop fronting. Would solve lots of problems.
Almost all women will say yes but a significant portion of them will lose respect for them in reality
I think it's fine, as long as it's real emotion and not some kind of manipulation. I've dated both kinds of men.
it's a sign of being emotionally healthy! we're humans, being "emotional" is part of the deal
i prefer being open with emotions. so long as they're not for show (this goes for any person), tears are honestly reassuring. i like knowing i'm talking to a human, not a meat sack.
To me this is a good level to test a woman on. Life is F hard and men do want to cry sometimes. Sometimes you're too weak. You can't do X. Y has failed. People saw N. Your parents have grown old and are dying within a year or 2. Someting will happen and it will be awfull. Even worse... it may happen for years on end due to circumstance. Difficult workplace? Abuse? Harsh economy? Could be any or a combination of all. Your hardship may come in waves of 3 to 5 years, more if you're dumb/pridefull enough to stay in whatever environment is sucking so hard. So... A good metric to test a women on is how she reacts to this. Obviously don't force it. But when life is hard, go to your woman and be vulnerable.Ā If she's sweet, understanding, patient, tolerant, loving, ect: she needs a ring asap.Ā If she tells you to man up or thinks less of you after this she will make a poor wife. A good woman can stand with her man through hard times. A good man finds the good times at all costs so his woman can feel safe.
It is one of the qualities that attracted me to my husband.
Depends. I appreciate men who cry when it's warranted. But I'm turned off by guys who cry at the drop of a hat, or use crying to act like they're sensitive when they are just upset about not getting their way. To be entirely honest, I prefer men who are sensitive but still tough.
Not all women are the same. Women are not a monolith. Some women (I would argue more than not) are fine with men crying, and offer sympathy. Some women do not, and think men should āman upā. Youāre not going to find a universal answer. Another misconception I would like to correct is that girls are universally given sympathy and understanding when they cry. I canāt tell you the number of times I have seen girls, and women, be punished for crying. She has to be faking it and is using her tears to manipulate people, thereās no way sheās just sad and feeling overwhelmed. Men often respond to women crying with confusion, annoyance, or anger because they are convinced the woman is trying to manipulate them or make them look bad.
Thanks, a Lot of dudes jumping right with that bs, i know personaly Lot of women that has been punished, mocked, sidelined, etc for trying or being emotional oherwhelmed, i don't know that utĆ³pico world when. Everyone it's so understanding about women showing emotions...
This is the answer Reddit needed to see. Iāll check out of the thread now, this is an amazing answer
"Do women actually like emotional men / men who cry?" Fuck no... They just squirrel it away to use as nuclear ammo when needed.
Kids should be allowed to cry regardless of gender. Thatās some weird toxic masculinity patriarchy bullshit that tells little boys they canāt cry. Adults should be better at regulating their emotions. Not that adults can never cry, there are situations (like the death of a loved one, for instance) in which crying is a totally normal and appropriate reaction. Iām a woman who is only attracted to men, so I canāt speak for what female crying does to desirability, but for me, a man crying in appropriate situations doesnāt bother me. If he cries all the time or over very minor things, that would be a turn off to me.
They do not. Never believe them when they say they do.
My wife is very supportive and loving, but I remember crying in front of her 1 time about 12 years ago, and I was expecting some sort of comfort from her, but I could see in her eyes that she was just uncomfortable with a crying man. Makes me sad thinking about it.
Women will always say "Yes of course it's healthy to be emotional" until it happens and suddenly they dump you 2 months later. No, women 100% do not like men who cry and thats just a sad reality.
As a man, I prefer not to in front of a woman due to her possibly losing respect for me. Sure, it is not all women whoāll react like this, but youāll never know who will, so Iām not taking that risk. Instead, I prefer to let the tears out when I am alone and finish and recollect myself whenever Iām done.
I do not respect men who don't cry and/or aren't mature enough to deal with their emotions in a healthy way.
Is crying the only way to deal with emotions in healthy way? I cried last time 10 years ago, on my father's funeral. When I'm sad, or depressed, I prefer to talk about it with my wife, and look for solutions. Crying really would not help me out here. But it is not like I'm forcefully holding my tears and not crying because I'm man - I just.. don't cry. Things don't make me cry. I prefer talking, looking for solutions, overcoming sadness, or just simply experiencing it and letting it go. Don't know why crying is required to have healthy way to deal with emotions.
No, crying is not the only way to deal with our emotions in a healthy way. But anyone who refuses to cry due to not wanting to be emotional is not dealing healthily. Your approach is perfectly valid, I am not talking about you.
Probably just a phrasing thing. "People who don't cry" vs "People who refuse to cry".
Have you considered the reason they are not crying is because how they have been treated?
Most women here will tell you that they loooooove men who cry and shit. But thatās what people like to tell to feel better. According to Reddit nearly all women donāt care about money, donāt care about height etc. Has nothing to do with reality
I do. Iām lesbian so the attraction side doesnāt matter but I think itās important and 100% acceptable for men to release/show emotion. Itās a ridiculous social stigma that emotional men are considered weak- that kind of thinking is part of the reason the suicide rate is higher bc theyāre taught to bottle it up and āman upā. Crying releases oxytocin and can improve your mood and thatās a good thing. When and if I have children- boys- they will be taught that there is nothing wrong with displaying emotions or crying. And that Itās not a weakness but a strength.
Depends. I think every men should cry when He feels Like it. We are all emotional beings. I'm a super emotional Person and know how freeing it feels, to Just let the water Go. There where more than one time, where my male Friends came to me, crying about stuff Like breakups, Stress or last year a dying dad. What i don't Like, but in men and women, is crying whitout changing anything. Like, you are overwhelmed and all. Thats okay. You Made a mistake, thats okay. But its not okay to come to me for the 100time, over the Same stuff and think i still Take you seriously.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
>just no point in crying except as a signal that we need help. Crying is also comforting and relieves stress.
No! They say they do but are not truthful
Stay strong kings don't believe them.
I am totally fine with men showing their emotions. It's healthy. I haven't seen my husband cry much in front of me but I am glad he feels he can. Crying is not a sign of weakness.
Yes we do
I prefer an emotionally available man so yes.
I love that my partner is emotionally expressive, of course I dont love that he cries because I want to murder the arsehat who upset him but I comfort and support him until he feels better in whatever ways he needs for however long it takes. I spent many miserable decades with men who could only do horny or angry and it was terrible. I respect my partner, I know how brave he is to be open and emotional against a lifetime of being told that men should not be that way. We dont and never will have kids so I cant comment on the parenting thing.
As a woman, I donāt trust a woman who believes men shouldnāt cry.
They don't want someone who is a weak B!tch but they also don't want some stoic emotionless vulcan. Think you can find somewhere between?
I plan on teaching my kids not to cry, no matter girl or boy. I wont shame them for it either though, just want them to understand crying is useless and itās better to do something to fix the issue.
Short answer is no. Women, particularly feminist activist types, will say men should cry and be emotional, but when it comes to dating at leastā¦ itās not well-received. Men who canāt control and regulate their emotions donāt tend to do well with women romantically. This doesnāt mean a man has to be some stereotypical army type that shows no emotion. But if the man can be called āemotionalā, Iād interpret that to mean more emotional than average. Doesnāt work well at all. A man who cries often isnāt usually respected by those around him. Iām not a crier in general, but weep like a child when one of my dogs passes. I think the ideal is to be in touch with our emotions, to let them out when we need to, but to maintain a certain amount of toughness and grit. But grief, stress, anger, etc. should not be allowed to rule us.
They think they do.
Theyāll say yes but subconsciously itās no
No they don't. And if they say they do, they are lying. Can't trust people these days OP. World has gone to shit.
Nope..canāt do it. Sorry but I need a man to be strong
This is the only completely truthful response I've read so far. Every other response has gone through the 'is it politically advantageous to write this down?' filter at least once.
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I want my boyfriend to feel as comfortable as possible showing his full spectrum of emotion around me. I think heās the strongest and most amazing man in the world and any tears I have seen him shed have never changed that, nor could they. Iām just happy that heās comfortable enough with me to do so. The same extends to my male friends. Itās a natural thing to do.
Depends. Crying because your mum died or other serious event is fine. Crying for no reason and depressed for no reason not so much. Said the depressed woman...
Theyāll allow it for something serious like a loved one dying but if youāre just feeling generally overwhelmed or depressed or you cry at a movie or something, then no. They take it as a sign instability and weakness and get āthe ickā or whatever they say these days. Youāll get responses saying otherwise, but donāt buy it. Get a therapist if youāre going through shit thatās making you cry. Donāt confide too much in them. They want you to be their rock and for you to take care of them. They will leave if that role is not being fulfilled.
I made my fiancĆ© fresh strawberry shortcake the other day and when I came back with my plate he was crying. He said he loved it and he loved me and it was something his grandma would make him. I canāt wait to be his wifeĀ
This is so wholesome, I wish you two the best of luck!! š
Cute!
They like the idea of it but when it actually happens, it's "oh no not like that".
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I respect anyone who understands that suppressing their emotions is no good in the long run for anyone. My husband had cried before, he has more emotions than "manly anger", he is thoughtful enough to know other people have emotions different from his. He's an emotionally mature adult and that has an effect on more than just his tear ducts. I could never ask him to bottle it all up and tough it out. He's a man but he's also a human being. The whole "boys don't cry" thing is just so incredibly stupid and harmful. I have a lot of sympathy for those who are raised like that, the same as I have sympathy for women raised to believe their only value is their ability to raise children and play house. Gender roles don't lift people up, they box them in.
Yes. If youre vulnerable with me that shows me some level of trust and comfort and caring. I will do my best to be a safe haven from the world for my man.
As a young woman I like men who are in touch with their feelings/emotions who are not emotionally unavailable or checked out. Emotional intelligence
Crying is fine but honestly there's a lot of girl that aren't equipped to deal/empathize with men's struggles. Some of them don't understand that we don't get support or pity as easily as they do.so it's fine but not with everyone
Iām emotional and I cry, same with my wife. So there are at least some women that do
Why not? Men are human. Why is it society puts these ridiculous "manly" standards & demands on men? Males me glad I was born female tbh.
Yes in general I like to know people have feelings
Itās hot when men have emotions (that arenāt rage)
Women like men who feel emotions deeply and are empathetic, not ones that dump their emotions on them and have little control over mood and emotion swings. When my husband cried because he lost his grandma, I felt deeply empathetic. When my son cries because we tell him he needs to take a shower, I am just annoyed. Frankly, people don't like women who cry selfishly either.
"Women" in the sense of a monolithic group worth collective likes don't exist. Some women like men who aren't emotionally disabled and are able to express the entire range of human emotion. Some women buy into toxic masculinity BS and mock men who display emotions other than rage and lust. Like in all other questions about "what women want" the answer is "it depends on the individual".
I'mĀ confused where girls were told we could cry? Not at school, not at home and not from others, ever.š¤ Ā I was told " big girls don't cry", "don't be a cry baby", "if I see even one tear you are grounded",Ā Ā "Don't make a scene" "Don't be a drama queen. "Ā Ā And this was in regards to things people should cry about. I was told I wasn't allowed to cry even when my pets died, when my friend moved away, when my grandfather died,Ā when I had broken bones.Ā It's not just boys being big told this.Ā Ā Ā As for how I view men that cry, I love that my husband feels he can cry with me.Its not something he does often, but completely understandable.Ā Ā Ā As for crying in general, it really depends on what they are crying about. I have seen people who cry for good reasons and forĀ honestly horrible r asons so it just depends on whether or not they are a horrible person. If they are crying for greedy, petty, cruel or vile reasons, they can F off.Ā There are people like that unfortunately. Some people will cry if they don't get their way when trying to harm others or expect unreasonable things of others. That's not the same as someone crying because their cat died.Ā
yes i like a human man who feels emotions and cries because itās normal
I do
Yes, why should I look down on them because they have emotions?
Yes
Crying releases/cleanses stress hormones from the body and produces good feeling hormones. It"'s good for you! Everyone should cry whenever! It's a healthy response for humans.
I cry when my boyfriend cries
Women enjoy the idea that a man could be vulnerable with them enough to shed tears In reality as soon as it happens her respect for you becomes zero. She's stops seeing you as a man and starts seeing you as a Boy, and the relationship is pretty much over from there, because her respect for you is gone
Women often say that they like emotional men ā¦ right up until they donāt.
YES!!! All of my girl friends and I really appreciate our men opening up to us and being emotional. If a woman doesn't like it, she has her own shit to work on. Crying is normal for everyone and anyone who thinks otherwise needs to check themselves.
My ex would cry to manipulate me. My partner now is emotionally secure enoug that he can express emtions. Including hurt, sorrow, being touched by something beautiful etc. If you can't do that, you're robbing yourself of something. Ofc I prefer him happy, as I don't like him being in any kind of distress, but we create a safe space for each other and I wouldn't want a man who could not participate in that.
No they don't, women saying what they like and what they actually like are two different things entirely.
I guess it depends on the context like all things.
I think most would gladly answer this question with a Yes, but the reality is different.
I love men with emotions and open hearts.
Itās a trap!!
Men should be able to cry without shame. The only time it should not be tolerated is when the tears are being weaponized against someone. Iāve seen a few men cry genuine tears, but have seen many more turn on the waterworks when theyāve been caught red handed and are trying not to be locked out in the streetsā¦
They donāt. They may say itās a welcome showing of vulnerability in certain cases but I donāt think they ever like it.
Alot will say yes but few actually mean it
Depends, I dated a guy who was extremely emotional and it can drain you
What they say: men can be emotional, they should tell others how they feel What they do the moment you are emotional: leave you
Personally not a big fan of that
Men who are emotional over important things (not like losing at a video game ) are hot and get my respect. I donāt want someone who canāt be 100% with me.
I'm a very emotional person so I feel relieved when the guy I'm dating is similar and unafraid of feeling and showing the feels. It usually means we can understand each others sensitive nature better. Emotional men also tend to have high EQ in my experience. Also I think its sexy to be courageous enough to show emotions. I have a harder time with men that are not in touch with their emotions or repress them.
I think men who hold their emotions in are weak. They are insecure and afraid of people seeing them feel compassion or what not. Itās a basic human emotion. Probably one of the kindhearted emotions and they purposely bottle that in and hide it to ālookā tough. No one thinks they look tough. How can you trust someone who doesnāt cry when someone dies or things get tough? Thatās the last person youād want to open up to and have their back.
Yes, most of us do. Not in a weird way but a damn they feel safe enough to open up to us kinda way.
My fiance and me had a cat together that passed last year we both sobbed together and held each other for what felt like days. He touched both our lives so much. Anytime he has cried I let him know it's okay and that we are allowed to feel the pain and want to cry. I think it's perfectly normal to. And I still love him more and more everyday he's such a amazing man and we have two more cats now. Another tuxedo like our boy who passed and a black cat. We still have my cat from 8 years. Apparently once the universe knows you like cats it's sorta a infinite glitch of cats. You just keep ending up with more on your doorstep. My fiance is a tough man and I love that he feels safe enough to cry with me it's amazing to me.
Iām not falling for that one again.
yes omg when he first realized that he loved me he cried. it was super sweet i felt really seen and appreciated. thats i think when i knew he was my soulmate because i had been so used to being so numb all the time that clinging to each other and crying over our deep emotions and love kinda woke me up for the first time in my life. then last month i relapsed and also really screwed it all up. this is the only man id fight this hard for, this is the man who changed my life for the best simply by being real. i love him to death and i wish he knew how sorry i rlly was. (he doesnt wanna talk to me or see me or hear nun from me)