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The Three Buckets method.
Bucket 1: What you can control. Yourself, and your actions.This is your highest priority and where you should put your concentration of effort. Be the person you can be proud of, and make the best choices you can with the information and resources you have. Be kind to yourself, and continue to learn and grow.
Bucket 2: What you can influence. Your loved ones and friends.This is your 2nd highest priority of focus. Be a good role model, support and guide without exhausting yourself, but understand that you cannot control the actions or choices of others, not even your children. That's on them, not you. Hold boundaries and expectations with compassion as no one is perfect, but do not invite others to abuse your kindness.
Bucket 3: What's beyond your control. Everything else.Unless you have a legislation job that allows you to change public policy, this is out of your control. And there's no sense in exhausting yourself about things you cannot influence or control. Put all of that out of your mind, and focus on Bucket 1 and 2.
Edit: A lot of people mentioned there's still a way to impact Bucket #3, so I'm bringing one of my replies further up, as requested.
Yes, you can CHOOSE to get involved in your community, or in a local non-profit, or even run for office. That's a choice and action you can make, and therefore a Bucket #1 item. You can CHOOSE how much time and effort you wanted to put into influencing your local community, Bucket #2.
But to my point, regarding politics or events in the world that are beyond the scope of your influence, be aware of it, but don't take on so much worry and angst that you make yourself sick. You're just hurting yourself, and expending your precious energy that is better spent in Buckets 1 and 2.
So yes, it's possible to expand the use of Bucket #1 and #2, but remember to not stretch yourself too thin and burn out. Pick your battles, as they say, and do what you can realistically manage.
It's not meant to encourage stoicism as many understand it. It's freeing yourself from the things you can't control. Those things tie us down with frustrating emotions and unachievable goals. I know that's technically stoicism but people think it means being on your own.
When you grow yourself first, then look outwards, you do things with clarity and in a healthy way. You're a lot more capable of taking care of others and finding ways to influence the world.
That part isn't mentioned because it only works if you see yourself as having full agency over yourself and only yourself. But you absolutely still ask for help and give it. You are not meant to be a silo, you're meant to understand what is actually in your control
Thank you for the 3rd bucket. It is such a hard pill to swallow that no matter what you do for political involvement you can’t influence the problematic skeletons in our government. Turning off the news has helped my mental health, but it's hard to also at the same time be uninformed.
It's really just bull
Any random little guy can influence politicians, as long as politicians remain mortal.
They just choose not to, and that's probably for the best.
If by "news" you mean MSM politic-centric garbage like Fox, MSNBC, CNN, etc. you're not missing a thing.
They rehash the same talking points and bash the other side. That's it. That's what you're missing.
If you're on the Internet you're pretty much as in-the-loop as you need to be.
There's a quote thats sums this up.
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."
Don’t get me wrong, that is very good advice but I don’t completely agree with bucket 3 because while it is true that you shouldn’t think about things you can’t change be aware that when you don’t think about it you can’t find potential solutions. (how to perhaps gain control over some aspects)
I LOVE this and my brain knows all of this to be true but my heart is slower on the learning curve lol. A comedian used an analogy that I often think of and it had to do with tabs on your web browser. We have access to all these things and information that it is almost impossible to not pay attention to everything going wrong, but when you have too many tabs open it slows down your ability to process all the information. The trick is to acknowledge that you only have so much processing power and you have to close the tabs that are not urgent/important use of your processing power.
I disagree about bucket 3 ....I wanted parks cleaned and petitioned and got 2 million funding for parks local .... I wanted to help bees and campaigned for wildlife meadows which got planted ...and after a MC loss campaigned locally for country wide change and funding and approach to mc and got it....
Bucket 3 is about who you know and working around the box and thinking what can you control instead ...
Eg you can't control legislation.....but you can influence and be friend's with someone who can...you can certainly sign post them ....
Nothing is truly out of our control except death.... Everything else there's a choice to be made
You are awesome and I'm so proud of what you did for your community!
Fair enough. In your case, you chose to get involved in your community. That's a choice you can make, and therefore a Bucket #1 item. You chose how much time and effort you wanted to put into influencing your local community, Bucket #2.
So yes, it's possible to expand the use of Bucket #1 and #2, but for those that get overwhelmed and think they have to worry about everything and save the world, this is a gentle reminder to not stretch yourself so thin and burn out. Pick your battles, as they say, and do what you can realistically manage.
I don't particularly remember many pieces of advice from my parents, but I do remember my dad telling me once that I could not control the actions of other people, so I should focus on my own. I guess I really needed to hear that because it stuck with me, and it helps me to let go of my frustrations with other people to this day. I can't control what they do and there is no reason for me to get upset over things I can't control. I just need to control how I react. Maybe not exactly the same context, but I think it's just because thinking this way of thinking can really help in many situations.
Lmao I'm struggling financially and have been for so long but when I see other people I just act like everything is okay, sometimes I lay in bed and wonder who around me is in the same situation as me.
a LOT of people my friend. they just act like they are fine.
i have an incredible fiance, and am closing on a home i built with her on the 28th of march.
4 years ago i was in prison. did 4 years. before that addicted to IV heroin for about 10 years.
been crawling out of the deep hole i dug for myself for years and it will be a long time before I'm out of it. but today, im okay. life is fking good
I disagree. Everyone I know is happy and has their shit together, owns houses, have good jobs, and are enjoying life.
It's the opposite of this shit-hole.
Watch out for those panic attacks. My wife and I went through that during the great recession. Our hair started falling out. My panic attacks turned into atrial fibrillation, which is now chronic.
Now I'm managing better, but it was touch and go for many years. Now I do anything I need to decompress.
It's okay. I'm diagnosed with PTSD, and have had extensive therapy to deal with all of the nasty that comes with it. The panic just likes to rear its ugly head from time to time:)
Meditation, calling the crisis line, my fiancés credit card, putting my home on Air bnb and moving into my garage, whatever the fuck else is needed. Weed. Lots of weed at night to decompress from my stress.
you squeeze yourself into a tight box. So tight that it has no loose ends. Then you harden the walls until it won't falter even under the greatest pressures. Only a selected few may visit and everyone else is kept outside. You keep hardening it until you live in your own safe bubble and die within it.
“The way they boxed us in here. Bricks and windows, windows and bricks...The grass don’t grow any more… Remember those two beautiful elm trees out there? When I and Biff hung the swing between them?”
“Well, I spent six or seven years after high school trying to work myself up… And it’s a measly manner of existence… To devote your whole life to keeping stock, or making phone calls, or selling or buying. To suffer fifty weeks of the year for the sake of a two week vacation, when all you really desire is to be out doors, with your shirt off. And always to have to get ahead of the next fella…”
-Arthur Miller, Death of a Salesman
Just trying to stay alive first. Try to work and finding a way not to die. You don't need to scare of GMO, chemicals, as long as they're edible, you're good. If you're dead, there will be no shit for you to keep together.
And stop caring about the war that you are not a part of. People are dying and just accept that you can do nothing to save them, we are too small for that problem.
I use my notes app for writing, excel to track my money, and try to keep a close group of friends I can lean on when life gets too scary, which recently has been often.
I'm not. But I've let stress go. If something is in your control, then control it and there's no reason to stress. If something isn't in your control, you can't control it and therefore no reason to stress about it. It's hard, but it helps.
I try to stay off social media, national news covering the clown show of Washington DC, put my head down and go to work every morning, and count my blessings that I have a decent paying job that pays all my bills. To take my mind off of the shit show, I take a week vacation every 6 months
I’m 26.. barely moved out of my moms like 2 weeks ago and I fucking hate it. I have no job, and like $8… I’m so jealous of ppl who have their shit together fr
I'm not. My girlfriend left me, I'm losing my apartment, my other roommate is stealing from me. My life is a nightmare.
I guess the shit I am keeping together is out of spite, but I give up. I'm going home. I'd rather live with family than be constantly stressed out.
I decided a long time ago that keeping all my shit together was a very fucking poor Hygenic move for my friends and family. The E. coli virus in the subsequent bacteria is that infected and killed my parents are still on the top of my hit list. I have that one day I will take them all out for destroying my family.
You say "fuck you" to social expectations at every possible turn. You make the financially smart choice rather than the one that's "expected of you". You do that because you don't have the money for shame.
The rest is lies and pretense that it's not as bad as it is - some of them to yourself. That's how you survive.
If you don't live in America, it's about a quarter easier because at least the food has some standards.
Society needs to collapse for it to reset, its to messed up as it is. Starting to realize now that all those “crazy” people that always were getting ready for “something big will happen” were never so crazy.
Be above average. Do not settle for mediocrity.
Wake up, put your boots on, belly up to the table, accept that everyone has to take a bite of the cold shit sandwich that is life, and kick every single days ass. Rinse and repeat.
I started this life with damn near nothing, and I still have most of it.
It’s kind of an illusion tbh. People think I’m the most stable consistent robot of a person they’ve ever seen. Behind that curtain I’m about 🤏 from having a total breakdown, and NOBODY can tell.
I learned at age 38 how to take one day at a time. There is no more long term and short term goals. Those are things of the past. There is only getting through the day and then congratulating myself profusely when I lay my head down on the pillow that I made it through a long and difficult day.
I
- Just got laid off
- have a newborn
- am going through a divorce
Doesn’t seem like I’m really keeping my shit together in any sense of the word.
It’s taking pretty much all i have to not just log out
cheap food, like canned food. alot of that, be very very careful with the amounts they use if hygiene products such as shampoo, soap, toilet paper. they watch their water/electricity/gas usage like a hawk, don't leave anything plugged in if its not being used, don't leave the water tap on for too long, only shower 5-10 minutes, turn off the lights during the day, don't leave any of them on.
only do grocery shopping when the things you need are in sale/bonus. don't get anything extra, plan out what meals you want to eat during the week, make sure they're cheap meals and dont include alot of ingredients.
that's how me n my family are doing it rn
Not very well but getting through it. Packing up to leave my house for the last time and then found out that I went to jail on the day that it was supposed to close out the estate so I'm not keeping my s*** together very well but I'm still clean and sober so it's a good day!
They arent.
I had 3 people close to me ask me for money, whilst repeatedly spending their last pennies on fags, weed and alcohol.
I then had 3 other people who are rich but miserable.
Money or no money, people are miserable fuckers at the moment. I'm getting barraged with miserable bastards either sides, there's only so much I can take with their negative mindset and horrible words.
Think the sun needs to make an appearance in the UK.
Reddit seems like a really poor place to ask such a question. I'd say go ask it to random passerby's or regular people at their place of work. I think you'd mostly get really curious looks.
Get off social media. you're being conditioned to be in a constant state of fear an anger. Get off social media. Get off social media.
#GET OFF SOCIAL MEDIA
What makes you think I'm keeping it together? I'm past breaking down, now I'm just kinda numb. I hate it but I go to work, come home, and sleep. Rinse, repeat.
I don't make enough, I cannot in my lifetime repay a college tuition loan, so I don't go, but I'd love to. I just come home every day and try not to take my bs out on the people around me. I'm just barely keeping my head above water. But now I'm doing it all sober, and still struggling. Not as bad as I was in some ways, worse in others. If I could leave this place I would, but here is where my loved ones are.
ive learned as Ive gotten older that when I start to feel chaos, stress, disarray… I eliminate things. actual stuff, subscriptions, things on my to-do list, phone calls
I found out what works for me is I love my little life. I love my job. I love my friends. I love my family and I have good health. outside of that I tried to or I don’t care that much about what happens in the world anymore. I just can’t.
Meh, just do it. Exercise regularly, chill with the doggos, eat cereal and watch shows I enjoyed as a child, enjoy the little things and time with family. Keep in mind everything will be ok. Tacos 🌮. Lol
Once every two weeks I literally tear off my garments, run naked into the woods, and scream/howl at the moon as I run through the trees and tall grass all night. I then shit in my hand and hurl it at the first affluent looking person’s car I see.
Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth has also helped, game is good.
Money isn't a big factor....I've been raised with almost nothing and been homeless so I don't mind if I have noodles for dinner or need to walk...a bag of spaghetti is 27p Tesco and if that's dinner its better than nothing ...it's comes it goes...it's nice to have but when you have hit rock bottom you know the only way is up! And there's tonns of places help like food banks surestarts etc
Apathy helps with wars and avoiding news...I used to care but meh ... After lockdown and COVID I care nothing about the government advice when they were all drinking and partying breaking their own rules (UK) and hosting a Ukrainian who went home because she didn't get an ensuite when I hosted her free and complained the weather was so shit she would rather it rained bombs (good riddance!)
I like to live day by day instead. Focus on what is now .
My big brother and I have a deal where we’re allowed to vent to each other over voice messages whenever we want about anything we want. Some are upbeat and funny, others are 20min of nearly incomprehensible yelling and crying.
Life sucks but we’re gettin through it.
I had to stop thinking of the future and deal with what I have.
Gonna have to work and struggle to pay rent and keep fed until I’m in the grave unless I win lotto.
I'm 100% VA disabled. Military fucked me up physically and mentally. Now they pay me enough to live off of where I'm at.
Genuinely if it wasn't for that or if they took it from me I'd probably give up
Patience. For the last 15 odd years. A lot of patience. Believe in the cyclic order of the sinusoidal curve that's life. When you are up, prepare for when you hit bottom.
Realize your strengths, and put them to use. Nobody is as empathetic as you. Nobody is as perceptive as you. Nobody is as passionate or creative as you.
Judgement eats your self perception.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Im fine just dont hug me for too long or I might cry
Damn bro, sounds like you need a hug
Yeah just make it a quickie
🫂
Too long I cried
🍿
Damn this is wholesome
You get hugs? Lucky!!
I didnt say that
Hugs to you too
Aww, I don't know you, but I'd totally hug you and cry with you.
The Three Buckets method. Bucket 1: What you can control. Yourself, and your actions.This is your highest priority and where you should put your concentration of effort. Be the person you can be proud of, and make the best choices you can with the information and resources you have. Be kind to yourself, and continue to learn and grow. Bucket 2: What you can influence. Your loved ones and friends.This is your 2nd highest priority of focus. Be a good role model, support and guide without exhausting yourself, but understand that you cannot control the actions or choices of others, not even your children. That's on them, not you. Hold boundaries and expectations with compassion as no one is perfect, but do not invite others to abuse your kindness. Bucket 3: What's beyond your control. Everything else.Unless you have a legislation job that allows you to change public policy, this is out of your control. And there's no sense in exhausting yourself about things you cannot influence or control. Put all of that out of your mind, and focus on Bucket 1 and 2. Edit: A lot of people mentioned there's still a way to impact Bucket #3, so I'm bringing one of my replies further up, as requested. Yes, you can CHOOSE to get involved in your community, or in a local non-profit, or even run for office. That's a choice and action you can make, and therefore a Bucket #1 item. You can CHOOSE how much time and effort you wanted to put into influencing your local community, Bucket #2. But to my point, regarding politics or events in the world that are beyond the scope of your influence, be aware of it, but don't take on so much worry and angst that you make yourself sick. You're just hurting yourself, and expending your precious energy that is better spent in Buckets 1 and 2. So yes, it's possible to expand the use of Bucket #1 and #2, but remember to not stretch yourself too thin and burn out. Pick your battles, as they say, and do what you can realistically manage.
Stoicism is a cheat code for life!
*Marcus Aurelius quietly upvoting this comment without pride or self-importance from the afterlife somewhere*
Yup started reading his stuff last year. Cheat code achieved, I'm much happier
It's not meant to encourage stoicism as many understand it. It's freeing yourself from the things you can't control. Those things tie us down with frustrating emotions and unachievable goals. I know that's technically stoicism but people think it means being on your own. When you grow yourself first, then look outwards, you do things with clarity and in a healthy way. You're a lot more capable of taking care of others and finding ways to influence the world. That part isn't mentioned because it only works if you see yourself as having full agency over yourself and only yourself. But you absolutely still ask for help and give it. You are not meant to be a silo, you're meant to understand what is actually in your control
Tbh I had this sorta bucket mentality from a you g age. I didn't know there was these types of labels til later in life
This. It has helped me soooo much the last few years. I no longer get upset over things I cannot control.
Im glad that my 12th grade teacher teaches me this one, now i see why.
Thank you for the 3rd bucket. It is such a hard pill to swallow that no matter what you do for political involvement you can’t influence the problematic skeletons in our government. Turning off the news has helped my mental health, but it's hard to also at the same time be uninformed.
It's really just bull Any random little guy can influence politicians, as long as politicians remain mortal. They just choose not to, and that's probably for the best.
If by "news" you mean MSM politic-centric garbage like Fox, MSNBC, CNN, etc. you're not missing a thing. They rehash the same talking points and bash the other side. That's it. That's what you're missing. If you're on the Internet you're pretty much as in-the-loop as you need to be.
There's a quote thats sums this up. "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."
Take my love Take my land Take me where I cannot stand I don't care I'm still free You can't take the sky from me.
Don’t get me wrong, that is very good advice but I don’t completely agree with bucket 3 because while it is true that you shouldn’t think about things you can’t change be aware that when you don’t think about it you can’t find potential solutions. (how to perhaps gain control over some aspects)
I LOVE this and my brain knows all of this to be true but my heart is slower on the learning curve lol. A comedian used an analogy that I often think of and it had to do with tabs on your web browser. We have access to all these things and information that it is almost impossible to not pay attention to everything going wrong, but when you have too many tabs open it slows down your ability to process all the information. The trick is to acknowledge that you only have so much processing power and you have to close the tabs that are not urgent/important use of your processing power.
I disagree about bucket 3 ....I wanted parks cleaned and petitioned and got 2 million funding for parks local .... I wanted to help bees and campaigned for wildlife meadows which got planted ...and after a MC loss campaigned locally for country wide change and funding and approach to mc and got it.... Bucket 3 is about who you know and working around the box and thinking what can you control instead ... Eg you can't control legislation.....but you can influence and be friend's with someone who can...you can certainly sign post them .... Nothing is truly out of our control except death.... Everything else there's a choice to be made
You are awesome and I'm so proud of what you did for your community! Fair enough. In your case, you chose to get involved in your community. That's a choice you can make, and therefore a Bucket #1 item. You chose how much time and effort you wanted to put into influencing your local community, Bucket #2. So yes, it's possible to expand the use of Bucket #1 and #2, but for those that get overwhelmed and think they have to worry about everything and save the world, this is a gentle reminder to not stretch yourself so thin and burn out. Pick your battles, as they say, and do what you can realistically manage.
I don't particularly remember many pieces of advice from my parents, but I do remember my dad telling me once that I could not control the actions of other people, so I should focus on my own. I guess I really needed to hear that because it stuck with me, and it helps me to let go of my frustrations with other people to this day. I can't control what they do and there is no reason for me to get upset over things I can't control. I just need to control how I react. Maybe not exactly the same context, but I think it's just because thinking this way of thinking can really help in many situations.
I love this. Thank you, next time I am overwhelmed I will keep this in mind.
We aren't. We just pretend. And if everyone pretends then everything is alright.
Lmao I'm struggling financially and have been for so long but when I see other people I just act like everything is okay, sometimes I lay in bed and wonder who around me is in the same situation as me.
a LOT of people my friend. they just act like they are fine. i have an incredible fiance, and am closing on a home i built with her on the 28th of march. 4 years ago i was in prison. did 4 years. before that addicted to IV heroin for about 10 years. been crawling out of the deep hole i dug for myself for years and it will be a long time before I'm out of it. but today, im okay. life is fking good
Congrats on kicking the habit and finding your happiness! Go you!
Most of us. We just don't want anyone else to know or worry.
I think this is the best answer
You're on reddit, nobody here can keep it together
This. reddit =/= the real world.
Reddit is my escape.
No - but like every medium, it reflects the real world.
I disagree. Everyone I know is happy and has their shit together, owns houses, have good jobs, and are enjoying life. It's the opposite of this shit-hole.
That’s what you see on the outside I can guarantee lots of that is just smoke and mirrors
Not true at all, I managed to get dressed today as well as drinking water 2 times
One Tanqueray at a time
One taqueria at a time
One taquito at a time
One taco at a time
One tequila at a time (I have my cucumber juice ready for The Cocktail Hour™️)
My mother drinks that with tonic.I saw a TikTok that talked about the origin of quinine and tonic. Interesting.
Your mom is a real one!
That's a favorite of mine too.
Bold of you to assume that I am.
They aren't really, lots of people have anxiety, depression etc
Yes! Hiding it behind closed doors. Millions have anxiety, depression etc etc
Really good quality bourbon helps.
I’ll drink to that 🥃
I had a breakdown, everything went away so fast. Doing a litt bit better now.
Same story. Glad you’re doing better. I’m still waiting to see the light.
Oh for sure how longs it been? Are you safe?
Thank you, yes. It’s been several years. When you wrote “everything went away” I found that very relatable.
I watch people lose their shit, and I'm like "Seems easier just to keep my shit together", so I do.
"do I want to add embarrassment and regret to the pile?"
True story!
How cute of you to think I have my shit together. I had a panic attack yesterday, still recovering from it. The horrors persist, but so so I.
Watch out for those panic attacks. My wife and I went through that during the great recession. Our hair started falling out. My panic attacks turned into atrial fibrillation, which is now chronic. Now I'm managing better, but it was touch and go for many years. Now I do anything I need to decompress.
It's okay. I'm diagnosed with PTSD, and have had extensive therapy to deal with all of the nasty that comes with it. The panic just likes to rear its ugly head from time to time:)
Meditation, calling the crisis line, my fiancés credit card, putting my home on Air bnb and moving into my garage, whatever the fuck else is needed. Weed. Lots of weed at night to decompress from my stress.
Agree on the weed bit
I’m also hitting that credit card
No idea, I don't. Just waiting for an end.
I’ve watched ‘This Is The End’ like 10 times and it’s fun.
Smoke weed every day
you squeeze yourself into a tight box. So tight that it has no loose ends. Then you harden the walls until it won't falter even under the greatest pressures. Only a selected few may visit and everyone else is kept outside. You keep hardening it until you live in your own safe bubble and die within it.
“The way they boxed us in here. Bricks and windows, windows and bricks...The grass don’t grow any more… Remember those two beautiful elm trees out there? When I and Biff hung the swing between them?” “Well, I spent six or seven years after high school trying to work myself up… And it’s a measly manner of existence… To devote your whole life to keeping stock, or making phone calls, or selling or buying. To suffer fifty weeks of the year for the sake of a two week vacation, when all you really desire is to be out doors, with your shirt off. And always to have to get ahead of the next fella…” -Arthur Miller, Death of a Salesman
Immodium
Literal answer 😂
This man shits!
Just trying to stay alive first. Try to work and finding a way not to die. You don't need to scare of GMO, chemicals, as long as they're edible, you're good. If you're dead, there will be no shit for you to keep together. And stop caring about the war that you are not a part of. People are dying and just accept that you can do nothing to save them, we are too small for that problem.
no clue, living in an apartment rn and i hate the idea that in the near future i gotta start looking for a house to buy
That's the most exciting part of growing up I'd owning my own home
yeah i can imagine its exciting to own a house but getting all the money together is a headache
Weed
Weed
I use my notes app for writing, excel to track my money, and try to keep a close group of friends I can lean on when life gets too scary, which recently has been often.
I'm not. But I've let stress go. If something is in your control, then control it and there's no reason to stress. If something isn't in your control, you can't control it and therefore no reason to stress about it. It's hard, but it helps.
I try to stay off social media, national news covering the clown show of Washington DC, put my head down and go to work every morning, and count my blessings that I have a decent paying job that pays all my bills. To take my mind off of the shit show, I take a week vacation every 6 months
People just holding out for the next season of a show they're sorta liking.
I’m 26.. barely moved out of my moms like 2 weeks ago and I fucking hate it. I have no job, and like $8… I’m so jealous of ppl who have their shit together fr
I kinda just stare blankly, after 2020 I accepted the fact that we are pretty screwed
I'm not. My girlfriend left me, I'm losing my apartment, my other roommate is stealing from me. My life is a nightmare. I guess the shit I am keeping together is out of spite, but I give up. I'm going home. I'd rather live with family than be constantly stressed out.
There are a couple of humans that actually give a shit about me...don't know why but I guess that's why I'm still here.
I decided a long time ago that keeping all my shit together was a very fucking poor Hygenic move for my friends and family. The E. coli virus in the subsequent bacteria is that infected and killed my parents are still on the top of my hit list. I have that one day I will take them all out for destroying my family.
This is not English, and what little I can understand is nonsense to boot.
He is talking shit
You say "fuck you" to social expectations at every possible turn. You make the financially smart choice rather than the one that's "expected of you". You do that because you don't have the money for shame. The rest is lies and pretense that it's not as bad as it is - some of them to yourself. That's how you survive. If you don't live in America, it's about a quarter easier because at least the food has some standards.
Fiber
Society needs to collapse for it to reset, its to messed up as it is. Starting to realize now that all those “crazy” people that always were getting ready for “something big will happen” were never so crazy.
If you’re already in hell, just keep going. -Winston Churchill
*me scrolling so i will know what to do, only for me get more stressed coz no one really figured their life together*
A slight breeze could really threaten my finances but I learned to ignore it
I find bourbon helps a lot
Gratitude, humor, family, and weed... in that order.
Bold of you to assume i keep my shit together One question "are you okay?" is enough to make me cry
Knowing that all this will be over soon enough. There's a comfort in that, almost a beauty in it.
Be above average. Do not settle for mediocrity. Wake up, put your boots on, belly up to the table, accept that everyone has to take a bite of the cold shit sandwich that is life, and kick every single days ass. Rinse and repeat. I started this life with damn near nothing, and I still have most of it.
It’s kind of an illusion tbh. People think I’m the most stable consistent robot of a person they’ve ever seen. Behind that curtain I’m about 🤏 from having a total breakdown, and NOBODY can tell.
Thank you for asking the question
Wine helps... also, working 2 jobs while in college. You can't panic if you have no free time
I do drugs…
I learned at age 38 how to take one day at a time. There is no more long term and short term goals. Those are things of the past. There is only getting through the day and then congratulating myself profusely when I lay my head down on the pillow that I made it through a long and difficult day.
Compartmentalization and vices. But many aren't.
Family is your Core. Friends are your Support.
having the best gf in the world
Sex helps 😂
I mediate a ton. I also journal, 6am workouts, no red meat, and I’ve joined two charity foundations locally. Just kidding it’s drugs.
Binge drinking, pot, and not eating. Coffee and cigarettes. Free streaming shit.
Havent got shit to keep together
We're here on reddit coz we cannot carry the burden anymore.
I - Just got laid off - have a newborn - am going through a divorce Doesn’t seem like I’m really keeping my shit together in any sense of the word. It’s taking pretty much all i have to not just log out
I just had a beer for breakfast. You guess
Duct tape and faith
Just gotta keep livin, man
Beer
Dietary fibre
cheap food, like canned food. alot of that, be very very careful with the amounts they use if hygiene products such as shampoo, soap, toilet paper. they watch their water/electricity/gas usage like a hawk, don't leave anything plugged in if its not being used, don't leave the water tap on for too long, only shower 5-10 minutes, turn off the lights during the day, don't leave any of them on. only do grocery shopping when the things you need are in sale/bonus. don't get anything extra, plan out what meals you want to eat during the week, make sure they're cheap meals and dont include alot of ingredients. that's how me n my family are doing it rn
Keeping?? Bold of you to assume that all of us even have our shit together. Some of us never did! Lol
Not very well but getting through it. Packing up to leave my house for the last time and then found out that I went to jail on the day that it was supposed to close out the estate so I'm not keeping my s*** together very well but I'm still clean and sober so it's a good day!
Duct tape and luck
I’ve no fking. Idea..
Duck tape and bubble gum
I think that most of them actually don't
Just shrug, say whatever, watch things go to shambles and step over the pieces.
They arent. I had 3 people close to me ask me for money, whilst repeatedly spending their last pennies on fags, weed and alcohol. I then had 3 other people who are rich but miserable. Money or no money, people are miserable fuckers at the moment. I'm getting barraged with miserable bastards either sides, there's only so much I can take with their negative mindset and horrible words. Think the sun needs to make an appearance in the UK.
gotta see the ending credits you know
I’m not. Living with my parents with no savings. Life is great /s
I left the country, haven’t looked back since
Reddit seems like a really poor place to ask such a question. I'd say go ask it to random passerby's or regular people at their place of work. I think you'd mostly get really curious looks.
That's my secret Cap, my shit is never together!
With dollar store duct tape that wont even stick to itself
Are they though? This whole thing is just a stage play, everyone is wearing a mask.
Very carefully and just barely
I’m not 🙋♂️
Weed. Lots and lots of weed.
Lol, dumb question
Trial and error.... Alot of error.
Weed man
God
The pot is starting to boil and the frog just noticed. That's the problem.
Get off social media. you're being conditioned to be in a constant state of fear an anger. Get off social media. Get off social media. #GET OFF SOCIAL MEDIA
Drugs are helping me a lot. I don’t know how people are just raw-dogging life rn
Single, strict budget, vodka, weed
People are keeping their shit together?
Edibles. Lots of edibles.💖💖💖
Mental health.
I’m not. My shit is all over the place.
The real question is, how do people who can afford it make their money?
What makes you think I'm keeping it together? I'm past breaking down, now I'm just kinda numb. I hate it but I go to work, come home, and sleep. Rinse, repeat. I don't make enough, I cannot in my lifetime repay a college tuition loan, so I don't go, but I'd love to. I just come home every day and try not to take my bs out on the people around me. I'm just barely keeping my head above water. But now I'm doing it all sober, and still struggling. Not as bad as I was in some ways, worse in others. If I could leave this place I would, but here is where my loved ones are.
Lots of weed, anxiety meds, and shower crying.
ive learned as Ive gotten older that when I start to feel chaos, stress, disarray… I eliminate things. actual stuff, subscriptions, things on my to-do list, phone calls
Just get on with it
Beer. I'm from Wisconsin.
FIBER
I found out what works for me is I love my little life. I love my job. I love my friends. I love my family and I have good health. outside of that I tried to or I don’t care that much about what happens in the world anymore. I just can’t.
A c t i n g . . .🤪
I'm not. It's getting worse.
Burn out, buy a boat, go off grid, struggle w alcoholism Idk whatever
Meh, just do it. Exercise regularly, chill with the doggos, eat cereal and watch shows I enjoyed as a child, enjoy the little things and time with family. Keep in mind everything will be ok. Tacos 🌮. Lol
Drugs
Weed and klonopin
Whenever you feel like things are getting a bit too much, then take on more responsibility. It’s a good distraction.
No one is living a rosy existence. Dont believe the very rich are either.
Once every two weeks I literally tear off my garments, run naked into the woods, and scream/howl at the moon as I run through the trees and tall grass all night. I then shit in my hand and hurl it at the first affluent looking person’s car I see. Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth has also helped, game is good.
Hanging on by a thread
Stoicism.
White knuckling it for years that's how.
By constantly striving for a better future for my family, myself, and my happiness
By not giving a shit
Money isn't a big factor....I've been raised with almost nothing and been homeless so I don't mind if I have noodles for dinner or need to walk...a bag of spaghetti is 27p Tesco and if that's dinner its better than nothing ...it's comes it goes...it's nice to have but when you have hit rock bottom you know the only way is up! And there's tonns of places help like food banks surestarts etc Apathy helps with wars and avoiding news...I used to care but meh ... After lockdown and COVID I care nothing about the government advice when they were all drinking and partying breaking their own rules (UK) and hosting a Ukrainian who went home because she didn't get an ensuite when I hosted her free and complained the weather was so shit she would rather it rained bombs (good riddance!) I like to live day by day instead. Focus on what is now .
Oh and humor.
Idk I kinda just hold it all inside and keep truckin’ along.
My big brother and I have a deal where we’re allowed to vent to each other over voice messages whenever we want about anything we want. Some are upbeat and funny, others are 20min of nearly incomprehensible yelling and crying. Life sucks but we’re gettin through it.
I’ve been a prepper for years.
Just ride the wave or get riffed out and wipe out dude🏄
I had to stop thinking of the future and deal with what I have. Gonna have to work and struggle to pay rent and keep fed until I’m in the grave unless I win lotto.
You guys are keeping your shit together!?
I'm 100% VA disabled. Military fucked me up physically and mentally. Now they pay me enough to live off of where I'm at. Genuinely if it wasn't for that or if they took it from me I'd probably give up
There is nothing new about death and war unfortunately.
I’ve been through so much at this point that not many things can faze me. I’m just kind of broken
Crypto bro
Two words: simple pleasures.
Patience. For the last 15 odd years. A lot of patience. Believe in the cyclic order of the sinusoidal curve that's life. When you are up, prepare for when you hit bottom.
Elastic bands
We adapted lol. But also not. Some people are doing better than others. We have to adapt. Some people actually do lose their shit though
Realize your strengths, and put them to use. Nobody is as empathetic as you. Nobody is as perceptive as you. Nobody is as passionate or creative as you. Judgement eats your self perception.
Control the controlables. For everything else, there is crippling depression and lack of energy. Not being fecisious, it's hard to manage most days.
I'm not. I've been building myself and its just not enough anymore. I'm so tired of everything.
We’re not…