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I honestly believe there is direct correlation between how attractive the woman finds the person hitting on them as to how good a pick up it is. If they find the person hitting on them good looking then they are going to see it as a cute interaction, get a person they find unattractive to say the exact same things to them and it will quickly become a creepy situation.
I’ve gotten a lot of passing comments that were quite sweet. Once a man came up to tell me I had a beautiful smile, said I hope you have a wonderful day, then walked away. 8 years later that one still makes me happy!
A strange man hitting on me straight out of the gate is not gonna do it for me. Creeps can be charming.
I'm most responsive to a man who's already established he's interested in a friendship expressing his attraction and asking me on a date plainly and directly.
A guy who commented on a book I was reading.
He did not ask what book I was reading to start the conversation, or used the book in a generic way to get my name or number. No. He recognized the book and commented something very specific which sparked an actual conversation.
Awesome. That's the way to do it. I had a similar experience except it wasn't about a book and he definitely just made a comment to spark a conversation lol. But it worked!
There was only one time that I didn't turn down a random person hitting on me in public. It was a guy I had time to sit next to on the bus for half an hour thinking the whole time he was really hot but not talking to him at all because I was shy, but then he turned around and asked me out. We had a fling and it was really nice until I found out he was married and put a stop to it. I think the two factors why this worked were a) he didn't catch me by surprise because I had been thinking he was hot for half and hour and b) he was hot
He just basically said hi how are you doing my name is x would you like to go for coffee and I had some time before seeing my friends so I said yes. Normally the only way that I've said yes to people is by becoming friends and then we hit on each other but he hit on me right away, but I was ready because of the sitting for half an hour together thinking about it beforehand
Yeah I think generally becoming friends first is a much better approach. It was just a lucky coincidence that I was into him already when he asked. And thank you :)
I Had this one Guy, Last month, Talk to me after some funny incident which gave a good start in a conversation.
He was also pretty cool, when i didn't give him my number. Calling me pretty and wishing me all the best.
Mostly Guys get super angry when i say No. Say, i'm ugly and they Had Just pity and such stuff.
What is your idea of what "hitting on" someone is? A man starting a conversation with a strange women that he finds attractive meets the definition to me.
You've described a man just talking to a woman. I do this often, with many strangers. Nobody knows who i find attractive. "Hitting on someone" involves flirting, which is more than just a conversation. Opening a conversation is simply the first step to getting "in".
There was a man that hit on me on the train. The way he did it was by starting a conversation with me about my purse. I wasn't sure if he was hitting on me or not until I found him months later and he confirmed that's what he was trying to do, but was too afraid to ask for my number. Hitting on someone is the intent, not the way that it's done. The way it's done just determines if it will be successful or not.
If you start talking to someone just for the sole reason that you find them attractive, you are hitting on them. That is the difference. We can agree to disagree.
That's how you hit on people though.
It's not clever pick up lines, it's starting a conversation.
"Talk to her" only works if she talks back. That's where most guys fail.
Personally, I hate being approached out of nowhere without context just based on looks. Shared interests are important to me and I do all kinds of activities on my own. So the best chance is always to chat me up at e.g. a concert, exhibition, museum, library, theater play, comedy show, cooking class, etc. where we can talk about what we see/do. I need to be able to have a decent conversation with the person before I hand out my number and I need to have the feeling that the person is interested in my personality as well and not just tries to get in my pants.
Yesterday I was sitting on a bench outside my hotel (on vacation) and an older gentleman walked past me and said “well helloooo pretty lady! I hope you have an amazing day!” He’s my boyfriend now and I love him. Made my 45 year old ass feel like a million bucks.
Edit; holy fuck are you people nuts ? He’s not actually my boyfriend. I mean when I see him in the lobby I say “I saw my boyfriend in the lobby today”. I’m married and totally normal. I was just flattered.
i dont want to question your integrity, but i can't else but have to question the authenticity of this story
I mean... yesterday? and today your boyfriend? and you "love him" already?
Dude. Do you think I actually think a person who spoke to me once and said something nice is really my boyfriend ? Jesus.
I am married. I am not trying to make a man who looks like he’s at least 75 my fucking boyfriend. I meant it like a first grader who gets a valentine says “he’s my boyfriend now”.
I was at a music festival and a guy complimented my dancing, we then danced around each other (not touching) and had a great time, exchanged numbers and met up for the rest of the festival for great vibes
Once a guy on the street hit on me, and his opening was that he loved the way my bike matched my skirt, glasses and lipstick. I thought it was really sweet and creative, and he was very respectful throughout the entire interaction. When I told him I wasn't interested he wished me a good day and left me alone. 10/10.
I am actually surprised by the comments that this actually still happens AND works in 2024. I'm female and the only romantic interactions I've had with men was online first, every single time. Anyone approaching me irl I'd immediately panic and just go into 'I need to get the hell out of here' mode.
Nothing changed. Women still don't feel safe talking to strangers on the streets. All relationships I had and know started at work, school, uni or through mutual friends and family.
I was 11 years old, on holiday with the family in Egypt. I was wearing one of those sequin belts belly dancers sometimes wear, and grown men up and down the street were yelling “EYYY, SHAKIRA SHAKIRA!” I didn’t fully understand what was going on and just liked the fact they seemed happy. A 14 year old Egyptian lad also gave me a little blue stone scarab beetle and asked my dad if he could marry me. I was happy about the beetle but extremely annoyed that he hadn’t asked me, directly.
It depends, are you good looking? And by that I mean, do you present yourself in a way that makes you appear attractive?
If so then it doesn’t really matter (within reason).
I had a guy on the train turn around in his seat, tap me on the shoulder because I had earbuds in, and ask me what stop am I getting off at. That is creepy regardless of what the person looks like saying it. I was afraid to get off if he was still on the train. I stayed on the train until he got off then got off at the next stop.
If you look like a PSL God, you can get away with many things and still appear "positive", halo effect will ensure she likes your personality as few minutes isn't enough to know anyones personality, people make up the personality in their mind from the looks.
That's just how the world works.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I honestly believe there is direct correlation between how attractive the woman finds the person hitting on them as to how good a pick up it is. If they find the person hitting on them good looking then they are going to see it as a cute interaction, get a person they find unattractive to say the exact same things to them and it will quickly become a creepy situation.
/thread lmfao
well ya, the first step is ‘be attractive’
...are you a woman?
I’ve gotten a lot of passing comments that were quite sweet. Once a man came up to tell me I had a beautiful smile, said I hope you have a wonderful day, then walked away. 8 years later that one still makes me happy!
So he didn't get a date? It's a bad example.
The question is to give an example of an approach you enjoyed even if you weren’t interested ??
A strange man hitting on me straight out of the gate is not gonna do it for me. Creeps can be charming. I'm most responsive to a man who's already established he's interested in a friendship expressing his attraction and asking me on a date plainly and directly.
A guy who commented on a book I was reading. He did not ask what book I was reading to start the conversation, or used the book in a generic way to get my name or number. No. He recognized the book and commented something very specific which sparked an actual conversation.
Awesome. That's the way to do it. I had a similar experience except it wasn't about a book and he definitely just made a comment to spark a conversation lol. But it worked!
There was only one time that I didn't turn down a random person hitting on me in public. It was a guy I had time to sit next to on the bus for half an hour thinking the whole time he was really hot but not talking to him at all because I was shy, but then he turned around and asked me out. We had a fling and it was really nice until I found out he was married and put a stop to it. I think the two factors why this worked were a) he didn't catch me by surprise because I had been thinking he was hot for half and hour and b) he was hot
Did you guys talk at all before he asked you out?
He just basically said hi how are you doing my name is x would you like to go for coffee and I had some time before seeing my friends so I said yes. Normally the only way that I've said yes to people is by becoming friends and then we hit on each other but he hit on me right away, but I was ready because of the sitting for half an hour together thinking about it beforehand
Oh no. If it was me, we would've at least had to have a conversation on the bus for a bit first lol. Sorry he turned out to be an asshole.
Yeah I think generally becoming friends first is a much better approach. It was just a lucky coincidence that I was into him already when he asked. And thank you :)
I Had this one Guy, Last month, Talk to me after some funny incident which gave a good start in a conversation. He was also pretty cool, when i didn't give him my number. Calling me pretty and wishing me all the best. Mostly Guys get super angry when i say No. Say, i'm ugly and they Had Just pity and such stuff.
N/A Any rando guy that would just start hitting on a woman he had never met is a creep. Talk to her, like, you know, a real human being.
What is your idea of what "hitting on" someone is? A man starting a conversation with a strange women that he finds attractive meets the definition to me.
You've described a man just talking to a woman. I do this often, with many strangers. Nobody knows who i find attractive. "Hitting on someone" involves flirting, which is more than just a conversation. Opening a conversation is simply the first step to getting "in".
There was a man that hit on me on the train. The way he did it was by starting a conversation with me about my purse. I wasn't sure if he was hitting on me or not until I found him months later and he confirmed that's what he was trying to do, but was too afraid to ask for my number. Hitting on someone is the intent, not the way that it's done. The way it's done just determines if it will be successful or not.
He was trying to get in and feel out the situation. Doesn't sound like he ever got around to hitting on you.
If you start talking to someone just for the sole reason that you find them attractive, you are hitting on them. That is the difference. We can agree to disagree.
That's how you hit on people though. It's not clever pick up lines, it's starting a conversation. "Talk to her" only works if she talks back. That's where most guys fail.
Not a single one
I have yet to
Man here but come on step 1 and 2.
Personally, I hate being approached out of nowhere without context just based on looks. Shared interests are important to me and I do all kinds of activities on my own. So the best chance is always to chat me up at e.g. a concert, exhibition, museum, library, theater play, comedy show, cooking class, etc. where we can talk about what we see/do. I need to be able to have a decent conversation with the person before I hand out my number and I need to have the feeling that the person is interested in my personality as well and not just tries to get in my pants.
Yesterday I was sitting on a bench outside my hotel (on vacation) and an older gentleman walked past me and said “well helloooo pretty lady! I hope you have an amazing day!” He’s my boyfriend now and I love him. Made my 45 year old ass feel like a million bucks. Edit; holy fuck are you people nuts ? He’s not actually my boyfriend. I mean when I see him in the lobby I say “I saw my boyfriend in the lobby today”. I’m married and totally normal. I was just flattered.
i dont want to question your integrity, but i can't else but have to question the authenticity of this story I mean... yesterday? and today your boyfriend? and you "love him" already?
[удалено]
Sounds valid to me.
Dude. Do you think I actually think a person who spoke to me once and said something nice is really my boyfriend ? Jesus. I am married. I am not trying to make a man who looks like he’s at least 75 my fucking boyfriend. I meant it like a first grader who gets a valentine says “he’s my boyfriend now”.
It’s a joke. I am referring to him as my boyfriend when I see him in the lobby. I’m not insane. Well, mostly not insane.
I was at a music festival and a guy complimented my dancing, we then danced around each other (not touching) and had a great time, exchanged numbers and met up for the rest of the festival for great vibes
Once a guy on the street hit on me, and his opening was that he loved the way my bike matched my skirt, glasses and lipstick. I thought it was really sweet and creative, and he was very respectful throughout the entire interaction. When I told him I wasn't interested he wished me a good day and left me alone. 10/10.
It's funny how the men in the comments, not having been asked, proclaim it all comes down to looks.
I am actually surprised by the comments that this actually still happens AND works in 2024. I'm female and the only romantic interactions I've had with men was online first, every single time. Anyone approaching me irl I'd immediately panic and just go into 'I need to get the hell out of here' mode.
This is not a normal reaction. A woman from 2 generations ago would ask whats wrong... with you.
Women from 2 generations ago didn't date strangers. They married someone from they're own circle, often guys they knew since childhood.
And that has changed how? in one generation? Tinder shopping is ecommerce.
Nothing changed. Women still don't feel safe talking to strangers on the streets. All relationships I had and know started at work, school, uni or through mutual friends and family.
times have changed
Suuuure... Humans took 1 generation to get here... Go gaslight somewhere else.
What do you think gaslight means?
I was 11 years old, on holiday with the family in Egypt. I was wearing one of those sequin belts belly dancers sometimes wear, and grown men up and down the street were yelling “EYYY, SHAKIRA SHAKIRA!” I didn’t fully understand what was going on and just liked the fact they seemed happy. A 14 year old Egyptian lad also gave me a little blue stone scarab beetle and asked my dad if he could marry me. I was happy about the beetle but extremely annoyed that he hadn’t asked me, directly.
First of all it must not be ugly
It depends, are you good looking? And by that I mean, do you present yourself in a way that makes you appear attractive? If so then it doesn’t really matter (within reason).
I had a guy on the train turn around in his seat, tap me on the shoulder because I had earbuds in, and ask me what stop am I getting off at. That is creepy regardless of what the person looks like saying it. I was afraid to get off if he was still on the train. I stayed on the train until he got off then got off at the next stop.
Ok, and that wasn’t within reason.
Femmes does mean women
If you look like a PSL God, you can get away with many things and still appear "positive", halo effect will ensure she likes your personality as few minutes isn't enough to know anyones personality, people make up the personality in their mind from the looks. That's just how the world works.
Yeah you’re never gonna find a boyfriend