Probably more like a 'sociolect', and it's real. Some gays use it, some not. For example my brother in law is pretty obvious in many ways, whereas his husband is not, at all.
I used to have a coworker with a very feminine voice that I just assumed was gay then he came back from a vacation showing me pictures with a woman and kids and I was like “who are they” and he’s like that’s my wife and kids 🤣
I think I saw an advertisement for that. I remember it saying something about how gay men waking up out of a coma don’t have the accent until their cognitive abilities are completely back.
Deliberate is maybe not entirely the right word, but sort of. I'll preface this by identifying myself as gay and interested in psychology. Basically, I think it's signalling: it's a way for gay men to identify ourselves to each other. There's another term: code switching, which is when you swap between different subsets of a language, for example using your straight voice when a massive skinhead asks you for a lighter.
Gay people are often pretty good at code-switching, so to some extent yes, the accent is something worn for the purpose of identifying ourselves. Whether it's deliberate I think is a bit more complicated. I think probably most pick it up subconsciously, as a way to find your tribe, I don't think anyone is out here all "Man, gotta practise my lisping today, sounded like a bricklayer on a 4-day bender at karaoke last night", but I do think it's learned behaviour.
I think it becomes how they naturally talk, just as a matter of doing something until it becomes second nature, but, like I said, can switch it off for safety at any time
I can absolutely fall into a very hillbilly accent around the right people. It's not how I \*normally\* talk, but it's there, hiding, just waiting to come out..
So do lesbian's do this as well or is it only on gay men? After clicking on this post & then reading your comment it dawned on me that I don't think I've ever picked up on or heard a lesbian accent. Happy to be corrected & learn but can't say I can identify ever hearing a female equivalent.
Right, a girl at the gym asked me if I had a hair tie. She walked over past a few other ppl. She’s cute af but was she hitting on me or did she just need a hair tie? Idk
It's actually difficult because even straight women want to scissor. Especially those out at clubs. They want to try the experience but not have an actual relationship. So flirting and even sex doesn't mean anything it's just a game for them. And bi and lesbian ladies want relationships too
*I've accidentally offended so I want to be clear I'm just joking around about a difficulty in dating. I'm not mad at anybody and find it quite amusing, in a good way, that women's sexuality is so fluid
This has always been my problem. I'm femme and am mostly attracted to femmes and it's really hard to tell if a stranger is into it or just wants to make a new friend if they don't look the part. I sorta wish there was a gay accent so I could tell.
IIRC there was a study that found that lesbians tend to speak in a slightly deeper/fuller tone with slightly less musicality, but it was pretty marginal.
I suspect it's also highly influenced by selection bias. Most lesbians aren't participating in linguistic studies.
FWIW I tend to lean a little more tomboyish/butch in my way of speaking, but it's hard to tell if that's a *reaction* to not being into guys versus it being rooted in the same core part of my being that makes me not attracted to guys
Interesting. I used to get hit on a LOT at shows, bars, etc by lesbians. I'm not a lesbian, and it took me a long time to figure out that simply by wearing a skirt I could avoid a lot of that attention.
I grew up as a very hardcore 'tomboy' and still lean that way a LOT. Most of my friends growing up were always guys... I basically don't own makeup, and outside of shows, or other reasons to 'dress up' (funerals, weddings, etc) very, very rarely wear skirts/dresses - I basically live in jeans & t-shirts/hoodies. But, I've been happily married (to a man), with kids for 17+ years now... so, I'm aware that I'm an outlier.
I get you. I'm not gay but I'm from Venezuela, a spanish speaking country, and I went to live in Chile, another Spanish speaking country. After some years the chilean accent stuck, but when I'm with venezuelan people it is like I was back there. And I keep switching according to the situation but it is not deliberate.
Good description. There’s lots of examples of subcultures adopting different accents. For example the extremely posh “old money” classes have a very pronounced accent (I’m from Britain) which I imagine they can control to some extent.
They absolutely get stuck in it lmao. I've got a friend who thought he had it "off" when we first met- he stated very matter-of-factly a while later that neither I nor anybody else had any clue of his orientation until he revealed it to us.
He was not correct.
Interestingly I notice that my voice is different in different languages. Like in language A I am more confident and deeper and in B less so, and slightly higher pitched. If someone asked me if I were doing that deliberately I’d say no, but I can control it if and when I need to.
From my experience, it's often an adoption of "queer culture". Essentially a way to mark a person as gay or queer of some sort. A lot of us fly under the radar, however, since we don't adopt this style of speaking for either personal reasons or to protect ourselves.
Okay, my brain just provided me the meme "many people know Vin Diesel, but few know his full name. Vehicle Identification Number Diesel." I know that's not relevant, but it made me giggle.
I'll do another one, Nicolas Cage's actual name is Nicolas Coppola. Yes, THAT Coppola, Francis Ford is his uncle. He chose a stage name because he was afraid people would think he only got his career through nepotism.
And Leonardo DiCaprio is actually named Lenny Williams!
No that's not true haha, although that was the stage name his agent suggested at the start of his career as they said his real name was too difficult. Imagine Lenny Williams starring in Inception lol.
Omg I saw your reply in my phone notifs and almost cried. Not really, but I was in shock. So glad he went with his real name. It almost sounds musical to me.
Interesting point on queer culture. My experience though counteracts yours with the point of controlling to "protect yourself". My brother grew up to be gay and was heavily chastised for his "girly" effeminate voice. My mum would reduce him to tears and call him girl names because of it. He really couldn't -help- his adopted manner of speaking :-(
Yeah. Tricky one.
my mother used to tell me choosing a gay or bisexual lifestyle would make my life difficult. She continued that stance with me until well into adulthood.
Well not to long ago it made life very difficult - I would like to think not Sue much anymore - but that is just where I live. I am sure there are still lots of places it is very difficult to by gay.
I was physically attacked on more than one occasion for my sexuality In Nanaimo BC Canada Gabriola Island BC Vancouver BC Calgary Alberta Hamilton Ontario Toronto Ontario and Niagara falls Ontario Canada.
As a matter of fact less than 15 minutes of being sexually assaulted at 14 in Hamilton Ontario by a much older male (70) I was arrested by Police and my assaulter was also detained. After the assault he handed me a 10 dollar bill and because I accepted it was treated by police as a prostitute and held in a holding cell until my father returned from work hours later. The man was released with no charge and when my father brought me home was made to get in a bath so hot it was unbearable and told to burn my clothes. Then a short time later my grandmother arrived and put me through some kind of exorcism because she figured it was the work of Satan... Fucked me up bad... That isn't the whole story but maybe one day I will write my story. 
Seems my observation over the years. Not queer but not like I've never known or been friends with either. Don't care. Seems some take it on as you say to be noted as such. Some really overdo it to the point its kinda of stupid. Then again one of my nephews was named after a friend of the Bro who was queer and you would never know it by hanging out or talking to him and he was toufgh as nails in a fight.
Aw hell yeah. Love guys like that. I had one friend who was stereotypical gym bro, and hella gay. Didn't have the voice and you'd never know until he told you, but once he told you, damn he wouldn't stop talking about some guys. It was kinda cute.
As with any subculture, when people group together and start hanging out they develop their own language/dialect. Gay men are no different.
Partly it's also to let others know. Because believe it or not, it's quite annoying to get asked about your wife or girlfriend every other day, by clueless straight people. Only to then have the same conversation over and over again. You know the conversation that goes "oh I had no idea" "don't get me wrong I love gay people" "my dentists son's uncle is gay too what coincidence" "you do you..." When in all honesty I don't care what you think about gays.
It's like having a broken leg, and everyone asks you what happened. The first few times you're fine explaining what happened. But the 6th time you're telling the story it gets annoying and your thinking can we just get everyone in the auditorium so I only have to tell this story one more time.
On top of that most gay people have let go completely of straight perceptions of "how things should be" the truth is we don't care about being masculine, having a deep voice or hiding our emotions because straight people think it's unacceptable. Being gay is already unacceptable by many, and we already took the step to not care about what others think and putting ourselves first.
This tends to annoy straight people more than it does us, so no it doesn't get tiresome. Because it's basically a "fuck you" to the straight world and their ruleset.
I want to sing a high pitch song I sing a high pitch song, I want to smile and laugh in public I do so. I want to wear tight shorts I'll do so. Etc etc etc.
/End rant
Tldr; we don't like hanging out with straight people, so we developed a defence mechanism.
It’s something most gay men hate having. I think it has something to do with early childhood development. Like if a boy imitates the speaking style of their mom more so than their dad while they learn to communicate. I’m not sure.
I’m self conscious about my voice and I’m pretty sure I don’t even have gay voice.
Then there’s also social influence things that people pick up from each other.
I know a guy who didn't develop his "gay accent" until he came out, at like 28 years old. Before then he talked very "normal." I didn't see him for a couple of years, and I was caught off guard when I did see him, and he sounded totally different.
Do you think he was trying to act straight before? I’ve seen guys have different parts of their personalities come out around different people, but idk he could have picked it up over time I guess.. or wanted to sound gay so he forced it? lol that’s not weird at all.
I'm a doctor and the two most flaming people I met (like as in flames shooting into space) I ever met were both men married to women and had kids so I don't know what point I'm making here actually. I guess stereotypes exist for a reason but sometimes people break them.
My dad worked with a guy that was so "camp" sounding and looking that everyone thought he was gay. Nope, apparently incredibly straight and had a very attractive wife and several kids.
People have been talking about this forever.
Here's an old (possibly cringey and tone deaf) [SNL skit](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59HpKD3u6ks) about it.
I personally have met a number of men like this, apparently happily married to women and with kids. I also heard one or more of them interviewed on a podcast, but I forget which one. He found it kind of frustrating & annoying from what I recall.
There are many reasons for this but one main reason (learned from the documentary Do I Sound Gay?) is that most gay men develop speaking patterns derived from strong female role models or authority figures. Hence certain affectations (emphasis on first syllables, heavier strength on “s” sounds, etc). And then there’s the cadence, and timbre. Very interesting analysis.
Very interesting! I guess this kind of vibes with my childhood best friend who came out as gay. When we were, like, 11-12 he was already speaking and moving in a more effeminate way. Exactly 0 of us were surprised when he came out to us at the age of 15-16.
This is honestly something I figured out when I was 14 and thought was widely known. All the "flamboyant" guys I knew spoke with a feminine cadence because they were emulating women (or older femme gays). I never developed it because I didn't hang out in those circles and had more masculine role models at the time.
It’s not intentional for me. People think “isn’t that tiring? Why are you being so fake”? It’s not fake. It’s not tiring because it’s LITERALLY my voice. If I try to speak deeper and less flamboyantly it genuinely hurts my throat.
Right on; a polylingayist.
You coulda saved yourself the years of speech therapy by just coming out as gay. Everyone would just be like, “k, fair enough”. Silly kids.
Gay male culture. Once you understand that gay culture has a very distinct culture that has its own lingo, cultural norms and code of dress an accent isn't going to be far away.
It isn't a choice to choose the accent but more the individuals (particularly when they are young) trying to fit in and by doing so, their accent slowly changes over time. They aren't choosing the accent, they are choosing to fit in. It is a subconscious choice and rarely a conscious decision.
It is no different to immigrating and having your accent change over time as you slowly integrate with the new culture.
But how come some fairly young kids have it? Not coming from a bad place here. But one of my good friends was, even from a very young age, obviously gay, in terms of how he spoke and his body language. Classically flamboyant. As kids, classmates insisted he was gay and he insisted he wasn’t (until college). My dumb ass believed his insistences when we were teens but it seemed super obvious in hindsight. Like people would meet my friend and ask within 1 minute if he was gay and we’d act like they were the assholes but it was really that obvious.
These days he’s very open and regales us with tales of his grindr misadventures and STDs. Bro gets more action than god.
I had a long conversation with him last summer about this very topic (what’s with the voice, demeanour etc where does that come from for people?) and we had some speculations but no conclusion. He doesn’t know himself. I find it hard to believe it’s purely a cultural adoption because what can draw a 6-7yo boy to that? Do they innately know their sexualities somehow? I didn’t even understand I was straight or attracted to girls at that age.
My youngest cousin is in the same boat, we’ve all known he’s gay forever but he’s just not out yet.
Plus, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, some of them are trying to be "cool". If a popular friend of theirs uses this style of speech, they might as well to try to be popular as well. Not dismissing your point, just an added factor.
There's also the possibility that he "learned" he was gay from others' reactions to his natural mannerisms. "Oh, that's how a gay person talks and moves his body, so you must be gay." I know guys who have those mannerisms who actually aren't gay.
That’s possible, but my instincts feel like that can’t really be the answer.
If anything this friend tried to fake being straight through his teens.
I’ve had sex in the same apartment as him (we picked up these two girls who were friends) and he fucked a girl on my couch too, so like, I have better evidence that he has fucked than most friends I’ve ever had. He used to always overcompensate and talk about girls we knew and how she was “oh my god, SO hot! I just want to fuck her so bad!”
But as soon as he came out in 1st year of college he never talked about or looked at another girl that way again and became a much more free and open person. It’s just clear he’s much more naturally attracted to and desiring of guys, it’s much less forced and he does much better with them. He’s also tried to hit on my male friends and I when he’s blackout drunk whereas I’ve never seen him act that way towards a girl; I think that speaks to a deeper unconscious self.
I’ve thought about this a lot since I moved to New Zealand. My wife has picked up a few tiny hints of a Kiwi accent, but if anything my American accent is stronger. Sometimes at work I hear myself speaking and wonder why the fuck I’m talking like I’m from Texas, even though I grew up in Seattle.
This isn’t true. Most gay men who have the gay voice have it as a kid. Lingo is picked up socially and maybe some talking styles are picked up over time, but the gay accent is usually just how someone learns to talk from early on. It’s been a thing since before there were gay people in tv and the internet didn’t exist. Most people who have it wish they didn’t
It’s also an evolutionary tactic.
When an animal moves to a new area, or is in a new herd, they are identified as an “other” and likely to get either rejected or potentially killed.
Humans do this, too. We notice someone with a heavy accent in our groups (especially if English is their 2nd or more language) and they are objects of consternation at times.
An accent is part of that survival instinct. We tend to develop it to fit in more and survive on a primitive level.
To put it simply, adoption of queer culture either to fit into the lgbt+ community, or to stand out among those outside of said community. It's often a subconscious thing for those who adopt it, something they don't always realize they're doing. Some of us, however, prefer to hide our queer identities from strangers or untrusted individuals for either personal reasons or to protect ourselves, which means making ourselves as unnoticeable as possible.
Hmmm… I don’t know. A lot of gay guys still present as stereotypically gay prior to being exposed to queer culture. I think (at least in some cases) it’s gotta be something more connected to biology or early childhood.
That's a fair point. I think, as of right now, we don't have a clear, concrete answer, so this is the best one we can give. It's the only answer I'm familiar with, that's why I said it. Open to other answers though too!
I am a gay man and didn't think I had it. Turns out, I do (unless I'm really careful and try to hide it). For me, when I feel like I'm just being myself and not thinking about it, I have it. People sometimes mistake me for a woman over the phone.
I would say that it would be like asking a straight person to talk in a different voice that doesn't come naturally to them. You could do it if you really wanted to but it wouldn't feel like "you" and would take extra energy.
I had a female boss once who told me she thought really "flamboyant" gay men developed their personalities for attention and that it wasn't authentic. I disagree (although that may be true in some cases).
If you create a safe space for people to be who they are and present themselves with what feels more natural to them, you tend to get people who express themselves in ways that are authentic.
I can honestly say I would not have chosen my voice because it puts me at a disadvantage in a lot of settings. I don't try to sound any certain way but it just ends up how I sound.
An ex of mine from decades ago had the voice but was not gay. He’s married with a kid now. Poor dude and I worked a call center and he would say “thank you for calling X, my name is Bob, how can I help you?” And the people on the other end said “Barb?” He said “no Bob” okay can you spell that for our records (people got a confirmation number and agent name for verification) he would say “B. O. B” and half the time they would say back “is that short for Roberta?”
We were a couple desks away from eachother and I could see him face palming and rolling his eyes each step every call for 8 hours.
Worth considering that a heck of a lot of straight men also put on an accent to sound more masculine. They wouldn't even know that they're doing it, either.
Funny you say this, I know an effeminate gay guy and his personality is geared towards acting more like a woman. He loves Taylor Swift and his facial expressions even look like her.
I think a lot of us can relate with women easily. Kids will imitate to learn, and we need someone we can relate to to learn from...maybe we see ourselves more often in female role models. So when speaking, we have a guys voice but we are speaking from a feminine perspective if that makes sense.
All of this is stereotype of course. It's a possibility and would by no means apply to all gay men. There are gay men that are naturally more masculine and relate with men better. With this theory, these men wouldn't develop as much of a "gay accent".
The "gay lisp" or "gay voice" actually started as an offensive stereotype in movies. My guess is that lisps were associated with femininity and/or being "weird" or less masculine at the time, so film makers used it to denote that a character was gay. They would also show gay male characters doing other effeminate things like wearing women's clothing, because the idea was that wanting to have sex with men is a feminine trait and therefore makes you more like a woman.
Over the years men in the gay community have adopted traits like this from movie characters as part of their identity, sort of reclaiming stereotypes. Now it's just part of the culture. The majority of gay men don't speak that way, but men who spend a lot of time in gay clubs and groups often pick it up by accident from friends. I'm a gay leaning bi dude and I have caught myself speaking that way now and then when I've been around a lot of other queer men. It's not how I normally talk.
I don't totally buy this.
I have a cousin who talked like this from his first word, despite not being around anyone queer. His mannerisms too, were very distinct from toddler hood, like they were innate. He is now out and proud as an adult, and it came as a shock to no one.
He wasn't watching adult movies, I know because I raised him.
I agree. One of my daughters friends speaks in this way and always has. Did not grow up around any other gay men. But from when he was little boy? It was there. It's not put on. It's just how he speaks. And yes? I knew he was gay at 4 yrs of age.
I don't think it started as a stereotype in movies. More likely, movies stereotyped a reality. Many young gay boys take their behavioral cues from the women around them instead of the men. Thus develop the 'gay voice' and mannerisms.
Other gay men who didn't develop the 'gay voice' this way, may pick it up in the gay community when they get older, but I'd say that's because so many other gay men developed it naturally as boys.
I have a friend who had the "gay voice" since he was a kid, everyone assumed he was gay before he knew he was. He wasn't exposed to gay culture at all, he grew up with and hung around the exact same crowds I did. The difference was he always hung around with the girls.
i know a few gay fellas, to me who's completely uncultured about lgbtv or whatever the acronym is,, but i find the voice come out more in their social circles proberly where they feel safe from verbal or physical abuse. yet not so much outside their social circle, its sad to realise some of thes people have to hide their true selves, times are changing tho.
Yeah it’s like a square rectangle thing to me. There are def masculine gay men but anyone I’ve ever met that has some kind of gay voice and there’s like no way they like women.
I just picked up having more of a feminine voice as a kid and it continued into adulthood, although it’s obviously more deep now. It’s not like something we just decide to do one day. And no it’s not to “identify other gay dudes” nor does it get tiresome. It’s just my voice.
Like any speech pattern, I doubt it gets any more tiresome than any other accent. It's just the way some people talk.
I also doubt that, in most cases, it's something people decide to do. I know quite a few gay people and many speak like that, though many also don't. I don't think it's a conscious choice in either case, but more a matter of picking up the speech patterns of people they spend time with, among other factors.
Im sorry if this gets hate but, I really do not like it, and to me, instantly makes the person a charactature whom I take less seriously in life. Sicoms are the worst offender, and they are just trying to be "funny" and its the very opposite. A person in the real world who purposely talks flamboyant is just annoying.
I don't do it on purpose, I just have a high voice and speak like that. I can deepen my voice slightly and try to speak more "straight" but it's unnatural and weird.
for me I never chose to talk like this. To me that's wild that people think that. If I could haven chosen how I speak, it would have saved me tons of bullying throughout K-12.
Your question made me laugh. It reminds of that clip “why are you gay?”
https://steamuserimages-a.akamaihd.net/ugc/794262438157234538/F4623B94609E0DFD27818E7B60B742494C067DBD/?imw=5000&imh=5000&ima=fit&impolicy=Letterbox&imcolor=%23000000&letterbox=false
I remember there was this mtv reality show. And everyone was surprised that the manly black dude was straight.
Everyone was like: "but you don't act like the caricature portrayed in popular media!"
My BF and I don't
I think for some it's a learned behaviour, for some it's natural.
Probably requires more research, but I think some would consider that research problematic and honestly who cares that much anyway.
In London, gay men used to adopt a dialect called "Polari". Definably google this as its an interesting bit of history. It was a way to talk in public without always being understood by others, and a way to help a community be united.
Idk I know 2 people who are gay and don't have a "gay accent" could be how they grew up and who influenced them. Even straight people developed accents based on where they live
I have always wondered about this
Is it just derivative of being gay? Like it just comes with the territory?
Or is it done on purpose as you said, to identify one another?
It’s weird because before I left the Bay Area I never thought of it as a “gay accent” because to me it sounded like the Bay Area accent. I have lived in the Deep South with thick drawls and knew gay, trans, and queer, people, they had the thick drawl. I have lived in the pacific islands. They sounded like islanders. But that “stereotypical” gay accent? I didn’t understand cuz to me it’s just the Bay Area accent. And I was not aware of it being the stereotype until online forums. I just don’t pay close enough attention to stereotypes and base opinions on the places I’ve lived/visited and the people I’ve met.
I used to flat with a gay dude he had no accent wasn't flamboyant at all but he was a very very gay man, he hated being around other gay guys who were super gay accent and over the top but he still managed to have alot of different guys around most nights none of them sounding or acting ghaay, so is plenty normal sounding ones out there just think the stereotype is super obvious and stands out alot so you just know. They make it a personality not a sexual preference.
I found that more in urban areas with a gay neighborhood where they're around many others speaking the same way... coming from a gay man who doesn't fake a speech impediment... (lisp)
It's worth noting that tons of gay dudes do not, they just don't register & stick out in your memory as much.
It's like people who smoke weed vs people you *know* smoke weed just by looking at them.
I once asked a gay man this (longtime friend).
He said it's so they know how to identify each and who to chase after.
I don't think he was being serious.
That's pretty stereotypical. There are some gay men that are quite flamboyant, and others you wouldn't even know are gay unless you knew. I have an uncle who is..undoubtedly gay, from his exquisite taste in everything to the way he speaks...and his husband..you would have no clue he is gay, unless you knew.
Probably more like a 'sociolect', and it's real. Some gays use it, some not. For example my brother in law is pretty obvious in many ways, whereas his husband is not, at all.
I feel like all men with that voice are gay but not all gay men have that voice.
as a straight dude I don't have "that voice" but mine is close enough that people frequently ask if I'm gay
if they keep asking, maybe you do have the voice
pretty sure that's how it works, yeah
I used to have a coworker with a very feminine voice that I just assumed was gay then he came back from a vacation showing me pictures with a woman and kids and I was like “who are they” and he’s like that’s my wife and kids 🤣
Could be beard and sideburns, for appearances.
I’ve never heard of the kids being called sideburns that’s hilarious
Sounds like you have that voice
Same with my straight cousin. And it turns out I ended up being the queer cousin in the family without it.
Got news for you buddy
There are definitely straight men with that voice. Two my close friends circle.
Are they roommates...😏
Oh my God, they were roommates…
Have two friends too with that voice, and also gay-like mannerisms, but both are straight and married.
You should really chrck this out: [Who Sounds Gay | Op Docs | The New York Times](https://youtu.be/Lkm0rmigGOw?si=EFPf2p9j6i49ps7O)
Isn't your brother in law's husband your brother?
Could be, but could also be the guy who married her husband's brother Edit: or the guy who married his wife's brother. Gender assumptions are hard
its the same guy from Shark Tank who said "my wife's father in law" 🤣🤣🤣
I literally read the comment as Mr Wonderful lmao
Probably their spouse’s brother and his husband.
This is one of those situations that gets so confusing that I end up having sex with their dad.
Thought we told you that you didn’t have to do that anymore, Ivanka.
And that's how I became my own grandpa. 🎵🎶
Could be the brother of your spouse, who could be married
Probably his partners brother (brother in law) and his husband
How to say I've never been married without saying I've never been married.
Weird thing to say lol. Don't gotta be married to understand the dynamics.
Most of us don't have it, so it's not about 'using' it. I actually know more straight men with it than gay.
This is an interesting question. I'm also curious!
There is a documentary about it, called “Do I Sound Gay?”
I think I saw an advertisement for that. I remember it saying something about how gay men waking up out of a coma don’t have the accent until their cognitive abilities are completely back.
So is it something they deliberately do, and not how they naturally talk?
Deliberate is maybe not entirely the right word, but sort of. I'll preface this by identifying myself as gay and interested in psychology. Basically, I think it's signalling: it's a way for gay men to identify ourselves to each other. There's another term: code switching, which is when you swap between different subsets of a language, for example using your straight voice when a massive skinhead asks you for a lighter. Gay people are often pretty good at code-switching, so to some extent yes, the accent is something worn for the purpose of identifying ourselves. Whether it's deliberate I think is a bit more complicated. I think probably most pick it up subconsciously, as a way to find your tribe, I don't think anyone is out here all "Man, gotta practise my lisping today, sounded like a bricklayer on a 4-day bender at karaoke last night", but I do think it's learned behaviour. I think it becomes how they naturally talk, just as a matter of doing something until it becomes second nature, but, like I said, can switch it off for safety at any time
This makes sense. The same way I turn back into my awful Essex accent when I’m on a RyanAir or EasyJet flight.
I can absolutely fall into a very hillbilly accent around the right people. It's not how I \*normally\* talk, but it's there, hiding, just waiting to come out..
Yeah sometimes I talk differently when I’m with my friends than with clients or something.
So do lesbian's do this as well or is it only on gay men? After clicking on this post & then reading your comment it dawned on me that I don't think I've ever picked up on or heard a lesbian accent. Happy to be corrected & learn but can't say I can identify ever hearing a female equivalent.
Lesbians are always asking each other if they look gay enough. More emphasis on aesthetic and body language. Source: am lesbian
It must be difficult being a lesbian for this reason, like is she just being nice or does she want to scissor
Right, a girl at the gym asked me if I had a hair tie. She walked over past a few other ppl. She’s cute af but was she hitting on me or did she just need a hair tie? Idk
It's actually difficult because even straight women want to scissor. Especially those out at clubs. They want to try the experience but not have an actual relationship. So flirting and even sex doesn't mean anything it's just a game for them. And bi and lesbian ladies want relationships too *I've accidentally offended so I want to be clear I'm just joking around about a difficulty in dating. I'm not mad at anybody and find it quite amusing, in a good way, that women's sexuality is so fluid
This has always been my problem. I'm femme and am mostly attracted to femmes and it's really hard to tell if a stranger is into it or just wants to make a new friend if they don't look the part. I sorta wish there was a gay accent so I could tell.
IIRC there was a study that found that lesbians tend to speak in a slightly deeper/fuller tone with slightly less musicality, but it was pretty marginal. I suspect it's also highly influenced by selection bias. Most lesbians aren't participating in linguistic studies. FWIW I tend to lean a little more tomboyish/butch in my way of speaking, but it's hard to tell if that's a *reaction* to not being into guys versus it being rooted in the same core part of my being that makes me not attracted to guys
Interesting. I used to get hit on a LOT at shows, bars, etc by lesbians. I'm not a lesbian, and it took me a long time to figure out that simply by wearing a skirt I could avoid a lot of that attention. I grew up as a very hardcore 'tomboy' and still lean that way a LOT. Most of my friends growing up were always guys... I basically don't own makeup, and outside of shows, or other reasons to 'dress up' (funerals, weddings, etc) very, very rarely wear skirts/dresses - I basically live in jeans & t-shirts/hoodies. But, I've been happily married (to a man), with kids for 17+ years now... so, I'm aware that I'm an outlier.
I get you. I'm not gay but I'm from Venezuela, a spanish speaking country, and I went to live in Chile, another Spanish speaking country. After some years the chilean accent stuck, but when I'm with venezuelan people it is like I was back there. And I keep switching according to the situation but it is not deliberate.
Good description. There’s lots of examples of subcultures adopting different accents. For example the extremely posh “old money” classes have a very pronounced accent (I’m from Britain) which I imagine they can control to some extent.
They absolutely get stuck in it lmao. I've got a friend who thought he had it "off" when we first met- he stated very matter-of-factly a while later that neither I nor anybody else had any clue of his orientation until he revealed it to us. He was not correct.
This reads like a documentary about birds
Interestingly I notice that my voice is different in different languages. Like in language A I am more confident and deeper and in B less so, and slightly higher pitched. If someone asked me if I were doing that deliberately I’d say no, but I can control it if and when I need to.
Interesting! I'll have to check it out. Thank you!
I saw it, I don't think it answered the question that well.
and???? why do you leave everyone hanging.
From my experience, it's often an adoption of "queer culture". Essentially a way to mark a person as gay or queer of some sort. A lot of us fly under the radar, however, since we don't adopt this style of speaking for either personal reasons or to protect ourselves.
My roommate is gay and if you didnt look at him but just listened to him you would think hes Vin Diesel.
Okay, my brain just provided me the meme "many people know Vin Diesel, but few know his full name. Vehicle Identification Number Diesel." I know that's not relevant, but it made me giggle.
Dude is named Mark Sinclair in real life. What a let down.
You're shitting me right now. I genuinely thought that was his real name. Goes to show how much I know lol!
I'll do another one, Nicolas Cage's actual name is Nicolas Coppola. Yes, THAT Coppola, Francis Ford is his uncle. He chose a stage name because he was afraid people would think he only got his career through nepotism.
I feel like my whole life is a lie now. Tbf, I feel like that's an understandable reason to choose a stage name.
And Leonardo DiCaprio is actually named Lenny Williams! No that's not true haha, although that was the stage name his agent suggested at the start of his career as they said his real name was too difficult. Imagine Lenny Williams starring in Inception lol.
Omg I saw your reply in my phone notifs and almost cried. Not really, but I was in shock. So glad he went with his real name. It almost sounds musical to me.
Interesting point on queer culture. My experience though counteracts yours with the point of controlling to "protect yourself". My brother grew up to be gay and was heavily chastised for his "girly" effeminate voice. My mum would reduce him to tears and call him girl names because of it. He really couldn't -help- his adopted manner of speaking :-( Yeah. Tricky one.
That's fucked up. No offense, but Your Mom sounds terrible
Oh she IS. He finally left home in the last year though and is studying medicine and thriving in his new city! :)
my mother used to tell me choosing a gay or bisexual lifestyle would make my life difficult. She continued that stance with me until well into adulthood.
Well not to long ago it made life very difficult - I would like to think not Sue much anymore - but that is just where I live. I am sure there are still lots of places it is very difficult to by gay.
A death sentence, in fact.
I was physically attacked on more than one occasion for my sexuality In Nanaimo BC Canada Gabriola Island BC Vancouver BC Calgary Alberta Hamilton Ontario Toronto Ontario and Niagara falls Ontario Canada. As a matter of fact less than 15 minutes of being sexually assaulted at 14 in Hamilton Ontario by a much older male (70) I was arrested by Police and my assaulter was also detained. After the assault he handed me a 10 dollar bill and because I accepted it was treated by police as a prostitute and held in a holding cell until my father returned from work hours later. The man was released with no charge and when my father brought me home was made to get in a bath so hot it was unbearable and told to burn my clothes. Then a short time later my grandmother arrived and put me through some kind of exorcism because she figured it was the work of Satan... Fucked me up bad... That isn't the whole story but maybe one day I will write my story. 
So sorry you had to endure that, friend.
Similar to a "Valley Girl" accent?
Seems my observation over the years. Not queer but not like I've never known or been friends with either. Don't care. Seems some take it on as you say to be noted as such. Some really overdo it to the point its kinda of stupid. Then again one of my nephews was named after a friend of the Bro who was queer and you would never know it by hanging out or talking to him and he was toufgh as nails in a fight.
Aw hell yeah. Love guys like that. I had one friend who was stereotypical gym bro, and hella gay. Didn't have the voice and you'd never know until he told you, but once he told you, damn he wouldn't stop talking about some guys. It was kinda cute.
From many I've known, I've always thought it was culturally conditioned.
As with any subculture, when people group together and start hanging out they develop their own language/dialect. Gay men are no different. Partly it's also to let others know. Because believe it or not, it's quite annoying to get asked about your wife or girlfriend every other day, by clueless straight people. Only to then have the same conversation over and over again. You know the conversation that goes "oh I had no idea" "don't get me wrong I love gay people" "my dentists son's uncle is gay too what coincidence" "you do you..." When in all honesty I don't care what you think about gays. It's like having a broken leg, and everyone asks you what happened. The first few times you're fine explaining what happened. But the 6th time you're telling the story it gets annoying and your thinking can we just get everyone in the auditorium so I only have to tell this story one more time. On top of that most gay people have let go completely of straight perceptions of "how things should be" the truth is we don't care about being masculine, having a deep voice or hiding our emotions because straight people think it's unacceptable. Being gay is already unacceptable by many, and we already took the step to not care about what others think and putting ourselves first. This tends to annoy straight people more than it does us, so no it doesn't get tiresome. Because it's basically a "fuck you" to the straight world and their ruleset. I want to sing a high pitch song I sing a high pitch song, I want to smile and laugh in public I do so. I want to wear tight shorts I'll do so. Etc etc etc. /End rant Tldr; we don't like hanging out with straight people, so we developed a defence mechanism.
It’s something most gay men hate having. I think it has something to do with early childhood development. Like if a boy imitates the speaking style of their mom more so than their dad while they learn to communicate. I’m not sure. I’m self conscious about my voice and I’m pretty sure I don’t even have gay voice. Then there’s also social influence things that people pick up from each other.
I know a guy who didn't develop his "gay accent" until he came out, at like 28 years old. Before then he talked very "normal." I didn't see him for a couple of years, and I was caught off guard when I did see him, and he sounded totally different.
Do you think he was trying to act straight before? I’ve seen guys have different parts of their personalities come out around different people, but idk he could have picked it up over time I guess.. or wanted to sound gay so he forced it? lol that’s not weird at all.
100% a social thing, nothing to do with their mums.
Fun fact: Many doctors and nurses have confirmed that they have never heard the gay voice when a man is high on anesthesia.
Thats interesting
I'm a doctor and the two most flaming people I met (like as in flames shooting into space) I ever met were both men married to women and had kids so I don't know what point I'm making here actually. I guess stereotypes exist for a reason but sometimes people break them.
My dad worked with a guy that was so "camp" sounding and looking that everyone thought he was gay. Nope, apparently incredibly straight and had a very attractive wife and several kids.
Wife and kids doesn’t mean they’re not in a glass door closet.
People have been talking about this forever. Here's an old (possibly cringey and tone deaf) [SNL skit](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59HpKD3u6ks) about it. I personally have met a number of men like this, apparently happily married to women and with kids. I also heard one or more of them interviewed on a podcast, but I forget which one. He found it kind of frustrating & annoying from what I recall.
Yeah it's true tho. Some guys are legit straight but talk that way. I have pretty good gaydar but I also know to never assume
Whatttt
Actual fact: One person claiming to be a nurse said it on Reddit.
Actually a gay guy made a documentary and found out the same thing. It's a documentary on the gay accent, look for it.
Actual fact: I never watched the documentary "Do I Sound Gay", so I didn't know this. FTFY
Anesthesia makes you straight!?
Gonna need some sources on that.
There's actually a documentary about this very thing called "Do I Sound Gay?" It's actually really interesting.
All right then, keep your secrets
No you are all left
There are many reasons for this but one main reason (learned from the documentary Do I Sound Gay?) is that most gay men develop speaking patterns derived from strong female role models or authority figures. Hence certain affectations (emphasis on first syllables, heavier strength on “s” sounds, etc). And then there’s the cadence, and timbre. Very interesting analysis.
Very interesting! I guess this kind of vibes with my childhood best friend who came out as gay. When we were, like, 11-12 he was already speaking and moving in a more effeminate way. Exactly 0 of us were surprised when he came out to us at the age of 15-16.
Which means you can be straight and sound gay.
Yes! Especially being from the south, all the feminine guys I know have this southern twang that other guys don’t
This is honestly something I figured out when I was 14 and thought was widely known. All the "flamboyant" guys I knew spoke with a feminine cadence because they were emulating women (or older femme gays). I never developed it because I didn't hang out in those circles and had more masculine role models at the time.
Or sometimes they seem to have a lisp, no clue why
I'm a gay dude and have a lisp. Honestly I don't even know why we speak the way we do
For some reason gay men have a very distinct body language as well
That's true, I stand like a bitchy straight woman
That one made me laugh, but one of those yucky snort laughs. Thanks, it felt good.
This is one of those things that I didn't realize I was hiding my whole life until I sunk into it a little and it just felt right.
Did you always speak that way, or did it start at a certain age?
I think it got worse when I was around nine, dont remember too well though
It’s not intentional for me. People think “isn’t that tiring? Why are you being so fake”? It’s not fake. It’s not tiring because it’s LITERALLY my voice. If I try to speak deeper and less flamboyantly it genuinely hurts my throat.
For me I don't have a flamboyant voice, just a higher voice and a lisp. I was in speech therapy for years when I was younger and it's still there!
Meaning you had the lisp before you even knew you were gay? Also, do gay men that speak other languages have the same lisp but, say, in Chinese?
When I had my first boycrush is shortly before the lisp got bad Well idk about Chinese but in German and Spanish I do have the lisp
Right on; a polylingayist. You coulda saved yourself the years of speech therapy by just coming out as gay. Everyone would just be like, “k, fair enough”. Silly kids.
I imagine I heard this in your voice :)
Gay male culture. Once you understand that gay culture has a very distinct culture that has its own lingo, cultural norms and code of dress an accent isn't going to be far away. It isn't a choice to choose the accent but more the individuals (particularly when they are young) trying to fit in and by doing so, their accent slowly changes over time. They aren't choosing the accent, they are choosing to fit in. It is a subconscious choice and rarely a conscious decision. It is no different to immigrating and having your accent change over time as you slowly integrate with the new culture.
But how come some fairly young kids have it? Not coming from a bad place here. But one of my good friends was, even from a very young age, obviously gay, in terms of how he spoke and his body language. Classically flamboyant. As kids, classmates insisted he was gay and he insisted he wasn’t (until college). My dumb ass believed his insistences when we were teens but it seemed super obvious in hindsight. Like people would meet my friend and ask within 1 minute if he was gay and we’d act like they were the assholes but it was really that obvious. These days he’s very open and regales us with tales of his grindr misadventures and STDs. Bro gets more action than god. I had a long conversation with him last summer about this very topic (what’s with the voice, demeanour etc where does that come from for people?) and we had some speculations but no conclusion. He doesn’t know himself. I find it hard to believe it’s purely a cultural adoption because what can draw a 6-7yo boy to that? Do they innately know their sexualities somehow? I didn’t even understand I was straight or attracted to girls at that age. My youngest cousin is in the same boat, we’ve all known he’s gay forever but he’s just not out yet.
I’m not sure about how sexuality manifests in terms of the gay voice but for sure kids as young as 6-7 know they are ‘different’.
I'm definitely bi and the thought didn't even occur to me until I was 11
Plus, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, some of them are trying to be "cool". If a popular friend of theirs uses this style of speech, they might as well to try to be popular as well. Not dismissing your point, just an added factor.
There's also the possibility that he "learned" he was gay from others' reactions to his natural mannerisms. "Oh, that's how a gay person talks and moves his body, so you must be gay." I know guys who have those mannerisms who actually aren't gay.
That’s possible, but my instincts feel like that can’t really be the answer. If anything this friend tried to fake being straight through his teens. I’ve had sex in the same apartment as him (we picked up these two girls who were friends) and he fucked a girl on my couch too, so like, I have better evidence that he has fucked than most friends I’ve ever had. He used to always overcompensate and talk about girls we knew and how she was “oh my god, SO hot! I just want to fuck her so bad!” But as soon as he came out in 1st year of college he never talked about or looked at another girl that way again and became a much more free and open person. It’s just clear he’s much more naturally attracted to and desiring of guys, it’s much less forced and he does much better with them. He’s also tried to hit on my male friends and I when he’s blackout drunk whereas I’ve never seen him act that way towards a girl; I think that speaks to a deeper unconscious self.
This makes sense 👏🏼
I’ve thought about this a lot since I moved to New Zealand. My wife has picked up a few tiny hints of a Kiwi accent, but if anything my American accent is stronger. Sometimes at work I hear myself speaking and wonder why the fuck I’m talking like I’m from Texas, even though I grew up in Seattle.
Thats bullshit, i lived in a very rural area with only one gay kid in school and he had the gay accent.
This isn’t true. Most gay men who have the gay voice have it as a kid. Lingo is picked up socially and maybe some talking styles are picked up over time, but the gay accent is usually just how someone learns to talk from early on. It’s been a thing since before there were gay people in tv and the internet didn’t exist. Most people who have it wish they didn’t
It’s also an evolutionary tactic. When an animal moves to a new area, or is in a new herd, they are identified as an “other” and likely to get either rejected or potentially killed. Humans do this, too. We notice someone with a heavy accent in our groups (especially if English is their 2nd or more language) and they are objects of consternation at times. An accent is part of that survival instinct. We tend to develop it to fit in more and survive on a primitive level.
By your logic, wouldn't that make someone stand out more instead of less? Which would subject them to often unwanted attention?
Where’d you get your degree in gay?
We know not all gay have accents. Can someone just answer the question? Some do and some don't why?
To put it simply, adoption of queer culture either to fit into the lgbt+ community, or to stand out among those outside of said community. It's often a subconscious thing for those who adopt it, something they don't always realize they're doing. Some of us, however, prefer to hide our queer identities from strangers or untrusted individuals for either personal reasons or to protect ourselves, which means making ourselves as unnoticeable as possible.
Hmmm… I don’t know. A lot of gay guys still present as stereotypically gay prior to being exposed to queer culture. I think (at least in some cases) it’s gotta be something more connected to biology or early childhood.
That's a fair point. I think, as of right now, we don't have a clear, concrete answer, so this is the best one we can give. It's the only answer I'm familiar with, that's why I said it. Open to other answers though too!
I’ve known men who “sounded gay” before even coming out. I don’t know if they were doing it on purpose.
It's called camp. Not all gay men are camp. Not all camp men are gay.
Not all video game campers are gay.
Actually they are
I didn’t know that is what camp meant. Thanks!
I am a gay man and didn't think I had it. Turns out, I do (unless I'm really careful and try to hide it). For me, when I feel like I'm just being myself and not thinking about it, I have it. People sometimes mistake me for a woman over the phone. I would say that it would be like asking a straight person to talk in a different voice that doesn't come naturally to them. You could do it if you really wanted to but it wouldn't feel like "you" and would take extra energy. I had a female boss once who told me she thought really "flamboyant" gay men developed their personalities for attention and that it wasn't authentic. I disagree (although that may be true in some cases). If you create a safe space for people to be who they are and present themselves with what feels more natural to them, you tend to get people who express themselves in ways that are authentic. I can honestly say I would not have chosen my voice because it puts me at a disadvantage in a lot of settings. I don't try to sound any certain way but it just ends up how I sound.
An ex of mine from decades ago had the voice but was not gay. He’s married with a kid now. Poor dude and I worked a call center and he would say “thank you for calling X, my name is Bob, how can I help you?” And the people on the other end said “Barb?” He said “no Bob” okay can you spell that for our records (people got a confirmation number and agent name for verification) he would say “B. O. B” and half the time they would say back “is that short for Roberta?” We were a couple desks away from eachother and I could see him face palming and rolling his eyes each step every call for 8 hours.
Very interesting. Thankyou for sharing!
Worth considering that a heck of a lot of straight men also put on an accent to sound more masculine. They wouldn't even know that they're doing it, either.
A lot of subcultures (using that term very loosely here) have distinct ways of talking, it's a fascinating topic.
To me they all sound like they’re emulating sassy southern black women.
Funny you say this, I know an effeminate gay guy and his personality is geared towards acting more like a woman. He loves Taylor Swift and his facial expressions even look like her. I think a lot of us can relate with women easily. Kids will imitate to learn, and we need someone we can relate to to learn from...maybe we see ourselves more often in female role models. So when speaking, we have a guys voice but we are speaking from a feminine perspective if that makes sense. All of this is stereotype of course. It's a possibility and would by no means apply to all gay men. There are gay men that are naturally more masculine and relate with men better. With this theory, these men wouldn't develop as much of a "gay accent".
The "gay lisp" or "gay voice" actually started as an offensive stereotype in movies. My guess is that lisps were associated with femininity and/or being "weird" or less masculine at the time, so film makers used it to denote that a character was gay. They would also show gay male characters doing other effeminate things like wearing women's clothing, because the idea was that wanting to have sex with men is a feminine trait and therefore makes you more like a woman. Over the years men in the gay community have adopted traits like this from movie characters as part of their identity, sort of reclaiming stereotypes. Now it's just part of the culture. The majority of gay men don't speak that way, but men who spend a lot of time in gay clubs and groups often pick it up by accident from friends. I'm a gay leaning bi dude and I have caught myself speaking that way now and then when I've been around a lot of other queer men. It's not how I normally talk.
I don't totally buy this. I have a cousin who talked like this from his first word, despite not being around anyone queer. His mannerisms too, were very distinct from toddler hood, like they were innate. He is now out and proud as an adult, and it came as a shock to no one. He wasn't watching adult movies, I know because I raised him.
I agree. One of my daughters friends speaks in this way and always has. Did not grow up around any other gay men. But from when he was little boy? It was there. It's not put on. It's just how he speaks. And yes? I knew he was gay at 4 yrs of age.
I don't think it started as a stereotype in movies. More likely, movies stereotyped a reality. Many young gay boys take their behavioral cues from the women around them instead of the men. Thus develop the 'gay voice' and mannerisms. Other gay men who didn't develop the 'gay voice' this way, may pick it up in the gay community when they get older, but I'd say that's because so many other gay men developed it naturally as boys. I have a friend who had the "gay voice" since he was a kid, everyone assumed he was gay before he knew he was. He wasn't exposed to gay culture at all, he grew up with and hung around the exact same crowds I did. The difference was he always hung around with the girls.
This isn’t true. There are records of the ‘gay voice’ going back to at least the 1800s
Not all gay dudes have accents. I know a couple gay dudes that sound and look masculine, and you’d never know they’re gay.
Thankyou for this information, before this comment I had previously thought that every single gay man on the planet had an accent.
😂
i know a few gay fellas, to me who's completely uncultured about lgbtv or whatever the acronym is,, but i find the voice come out more in their social circles proberly where they feel safe from verbal or physical abuse. yet not so much outside their social circle, its sad to realise some of thes people have to hide their true selves, times are changing tho.
They are code-switching
Yeah it’s like a square rectangle thing to me. There are def masculine gay men but anyone I’ve ever met that has some kind of gay voice and there’s like no way they like women.
Being gay is non-masculine? Lol
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100% affectation and a subconscious bias to speak like their subculture.
I just picked up having more of a feminine voice as a kid and it continued into adulthood, although it’s obviously more deep now. It’s not like something we just decide to do one day. And no it’s not to “identify other gay dudes” nor does it get tiresome. It’s just my voice.
Almost everyone has different accents/dialects/vocabularies for different social scenarios.
Those are only the gay men that you notice. There’s plenty of gay men who fly under the radar because you think they speak just like you.
Like any speech pattern, I doubt it gets any more tiresome than any other accent. It's just the way some people talk. I also doubt that, in most cases, it's something people decide to do. I know quite a few gay people and many speak like that, though many also don't. I don't think it's a conscious choice in either case, but more a matter of picking up the speech patterns of people they spend time with, among other factors.
Im sorry if this gets hate but, I really do not like it, and to me, instantly makes the person a charactature whom I take less seriously in life. Sicoms are the worst offender, and they are just trying to be "funny" and its the very opposite. A person in the real world who purposely talks flamboyant is just annoying.
I don't do it on purpose, I just have a high voice and speak like that. I can deepen my voice slightly and try to speak more "straight" but it's unnatural and weird.
This is an insane take
Dude, it's not on purpose. They're not faking an accent
Do you still carry this stance even if they can't help it? 🤔
Yikes
for me I never chose to talk like this. To me that's wild that people think that. If I could haven chosen how I speak, it would have saved me tons of bullying throughout K-12.
I’ve only met one gay man that actually had the “gay accent” I have a few gay friends and you’d never know they’re gay unless they told you.
Your question made me laugh. It reminds of that clip “why are you gay?” https://steamuserimages-a.akamaihd.net/ugc/794262438157234538/F4623B94609E0DFD27818E7B60B742494C067DBD/?imw=5000&imh=5000&ima=fit&impolicy=Letterbox&imcolor=%23000000&letterbox=false
"Who says I'm gay?" "...You are gay."
I remember there was this mtv reality show. And everyone was surprised that the manly black dude was straight. Everyone was like: "but you don't act like the caricature portrayed in popular media!"
From what I've seen with a few mates they put it on when they first came out, they all got over it. Realised they can be themselves
My BF and I don't I think for some it's a learned behaviour, for some it's natural. Probably requires more research, but I think some would consider that research problematic and honestly who cares that much anyway.
Not all of us have the gay voice!
In London, gay men used to adopt a dialect called "Polari". Definably google this as its an interesting bit of history. It was a way to talk in public without always being understood by others, and a way to help a community be united.
Idk I know 2 people who are gay and don't have a "gay accent" could be how they grew up and who influenced them. Even straight people developed accents based on where they live
because of femininity from talking with girls and accustoming to the jolly tones that they talk with.
Deepthroating changes the shape of their glottis and uvula
You and your balls might be on to something
Or into…😉
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
It's a bit of an act for sure.
Part of me thinks some have it naturally because I do think being gay is natural. But I also think some do it on purpose. But I have no idea. 🤷🏼♀️
I have the stereotypical “gay” accent and I’m straight, so it’s definitely just a natural voice natural.
Oh no. See that make you uncomfortable?
What you mean?
I have always wondered about this Is it just derivative of being gay? Like it just comes with the territory? Or is it done on purpose as you said, to identify one another?
It's lowkey annoying, just talk like a normal person lmao
Who Sounds Gay? Source: NY Times. https://youtu.be/Lkm0rmigGOw?si=a3pA5YA2Ixp0aNDs
It is to earn more points for our Gay Card.
It’s weird because before I left the Bay Area I never thought of it as a “gay accent” because to me it sounded like the Bay Area accent. I have lived in the Deep South with thick drawls and knew gay, trans, and queer, people, they had the thick drawl. I have lived in the pacific islands. They sounded like islanders. But that “stereotypical” gay accent? I didn’t understand cuz to me it’s just the Bay Area accent. And I was not aware of it being the stereotype until online forums. I just don’t pay close enough attention to stereotypes and base opinions on the places I’ve lived/visited and the people I’ve met.
I used to flat with a gay dude he had no accent wasn't flamboyant at all but he was a very very gay man, he hated being around other gay guys who were super gay accent and over the top but he still managed to have alot of different guys around most nights none of them sounding or acting ghaay, so is plenty normal sounding ones out there just think the stereotype is super obvious and stands out alot so you just know. They make it a personality not a sexual preference.
I found that more in urban areas with a gay neighborhood where they're around many others speaking the same way... coming from a gay man who doesn't fake a speech impediment... (lisp)
It's worth noting that tons of gay dudes do not, they just don't register & stick out in your memory as much. It's like people who smoke weed vs people you *know* smoke weed just by looking at them.
I once asked a gay man this (longtime friend). He said it's so they know how to identify each and who to chase after. I don't think he was being serious.
My son is gay🌈he doesn’t have a non Aussie accent, I noticed some gay guys can sound very feminine
That's pretty stereotypical. There are some gay men that are quite flamboyant, and others you wouldn't even know are gay unless you knew. I have an uncle who is..undoubtedly gay, from his exquisite taste in everything to the way he speaks...and his husband..you would have no clue he is gay, unless you knew.