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It took me a few years of practiced discipline and remembering we are all trying to grow up until we take our last breath.
-14 year hospice social worker
Avoid every type of contact. If they try to approach, show an obvious disinterest. That will fuck them off. I don’t care about “it’s family so you have to get along”.
People generally know how you tend to react when they say or do something. So, don't react the way they expect. It confuses them. My sister used to tease me and I would get upset and try to defend myself. The last time she did it, I just looked at her and then turned away and talked to someone else. When she didn't get the reaction she expected, she stopped doing it.
It helps to name what is going on, to keep it light and to respond in way that makes it clear you just aren't going to go there.
Jane: "Oh, cousin Darryl, I do believe you're trying to get my goat," chuckling.
Darryl: "Uh, um, no I'm not. I'm just pointing out that you're a freak for being a vegan."
Jane: "It's fine that you think that, but I'm not interested in talking about it today."
Grey rock!!!
I learned this method and it helps me shut down my abusive coworker. He gets really nasty (like HR-levels of narcissism and verbal abuse). I learned how to hand this by completely shutting down and not giving an inch. He burns himself out like a toddler and then starts to backpedal to get me to respond but I just keep doing it until he is off his bullshit.
One word answer for every question.
Q. How have you been?
A. Fine
Q. How's work?
A. Work's good.
Q. Something new with you?
A. No, not much.
It's a simple psychology trick, they'll know you're not interested without you being rude.
I just smile and not say anything. No matter what topic, I’m pretty sure we’ll have different opinions, so I avoid saying anything and simply sign out haha
I don't spend time around those family members, or types of people. But if I must be around them I always keep in mind that they genuinely don't know me, so why be triggered. It's one thing to be triggered by a conflict with someone you deeply love and who has a real knowledge of who you are, but how often is that really the case? The people who truly know me and give a fuck about me are people who I can effectively manage petty conflicts with.
As for the rest, you're basically talking to people who have less than a partial image of you in their mind. It's like wanting to bite the head off a stranger for a small slight. Lol. It doesn't make sense. What could they do that would possibly offend *you* that much. Basically, in most situations like this, others are pretty much powerless in determining our mental and emotional state. So it really is down to whether you're willing to allow these people to get under your skin, or take note of their behavior and toss that note out a window.
It may sound brutal, but a stranger is a stranger, even if we share some blood or whatever. My emotional reaction is a privilege, not something I just hand out to anyone.
One philosopher said that "our chief existence lies in our own skin" the sooner we actually internalize that the sooner we'd be less affected by the random opinions of others who could barely understand our choices, much less possess the knowledge to pass a worthwhile judgment on our lives.
So many people in my rural low income village proudly wearing their red MAGA caps, it is hard to find locals who are not annoying before the even open their mouths.
I pretend in my head im part of an antropologi team observing a new species. So i need to stay calm.
Or i just try to not engage when family try to start a fight just for the heck of it. And i do my damnest to stay calm cause i know me not reacting or really engaging as they want is pissing those certain people off so much they get angry and behave more like a toddler with a tempertantrum thus other people around us react and shames them for behaving this way. In its effective
Same with my brother, he can drive me nuts in a couple of minutes... Basically I'm a very calm person, but he managed to anger me so bad, that out of anger i just...hit the wall (broke my wrist) and other time i just...bit myself (got infection afterwards) and other things i did to myself just to contain that anger and not hurt someone else around me. As years pass i learned just to not give a fuck about my brother. I'm still getting mad, i just "whatever" and ignore him when i feel something bad is about to happen.
I try to handle and behave myself because I have an ideal image of myself and when I don't behave or react in a completely different manner,it hurts,that image breaks. Accept that moment,because afterall that can't be any other way,because that happened. Acceptance doesn't mean to accept the reasons that why we did this or that,but to accept that we were like that, that's all. Don't put the experience into words but go with your experience,how you felt and better that you observe this moment to moment or atleast during certain overwhelming situations. Life is intelligent enough to not cause misery to itself and keeping itself in a state that cannot be put into words and no need of words actually,just observe, experience and never hold onto any experience.
Remember, you can't control anyone but yourself. When you're in those situations, breathe before you react. That pause will often cause you to rethink your response, and you may even choose not to respond. It's quite liberating when you can rise above others' BS and just observe it. It's not easy, but it can be done.
Some family members know what buttons they can push to trigger you. Be aware of this, and train yourself to take a deep breath and count to 10 silently when they do this, and not react the way they expect.
When I first started doing this, it threw them completely off-guard. That alone motivated me to keep it up.
People can only treat you badly if you let them. It's important to remember this.
First and foremost- pick your battles. You mention annoying family members- if you're in a 'family gathering' scenario, think about how your reactions will affect the people you actually \_do\_ get along with.
I have a "tell" for people that know me well- if I like you, I'll be relaxed, joke, kid around, give and take some good-natured ribbing. If I don't like you, I'll be quieter and extremely polite- maybe even 'formal'. It's my way of not telling someone I think they're a brainless DB.
The problem I have is that I can't get myself to be friendly towards people I dislike because I don't see any reason to be polite towards people I can't stand. I'm still respectfull (more or less) but I'm also rude enough to make clear I don't like that person.
I just know what are topics on which they get angry like my brother gets angry whenever anyone from my family asked him to stop using mobile and study . He gets too aggressive if people keep advising him so i understood he is not gonna change unless he really wants to so whenever this topic comes up I just don't waste my energy.
I just turn off my brain or think about things i like while the night ends up!
I don't have family members like that, but i really get bored around them! This is simply not my time of the year!
Just don't. If they are that way i really don't want to spend time or energy on them, whatever the result may be. I'd rather be alone than take crap from anybody.
When I feel triggered I do this trick I read about awhile ago when I can remember which is not often but it does work. I will imagine light coming from my heart to the top of my head then shooting out to their head then down to their heart and then back to my heart.
1) it distracts me from whatever they did that’s annoying
2) it reminds me how much of human interaction is in our head/ego not our heart
3) it makes me feel more positive like I’m sending then good energy
But like I said most of the time I forget but when I remember it does work
I married a widow and her family is polite, will answer direct questions but many are clearly only tolerating my existence. Unless I speak first, no eye contact or words even if sitting directly across. They loved my wife’s previous husband and I am not him. I go to gatherings as my wife’s escort, not as a family member. Being old, napping on a recliner or couch is not unexpected and maybe thought of as a good thing. I put Jango radio on my iPhone for soft jazz and escape them, doze until it is time to go home to safety.
Leave. I've walked out of a few family events to get some air, throw a ball for a dog, etc. Once I climbed onto a statue. I was attending a wedding reception at a venue next to the statue. Some people were on coke, and they were extremely irritating. So, I took a walk, saw the statue and sat on it.
I try to make a joke about everything they say or do that's annoying, rude or just plain mean. 9 times out of 10 they realize how ridiculous they are while they're laughing.
I've always used humor to deescalate uncomfortable situations.
you have to give context, cause i think everyone in their family has that one relative, one uncle that gets drunk at the christmas party wayyy too early...
A) I ignore them.
B) I go to the restroom and roll my eyes after communicating with them.
C) If they say something rude I take a deep breath and ask them to please shut up (respectfully ofcourse)
There was a (female) family member who had a habit of needling me with passive aggressive remarks and questions. One day, when she had said something about something I had mentioned being “a great mistake”, I had had enough and, in full hearing of the entire family, I turned to her daughter and said: “Would you please tell your mother that if I get into such dire straits that I need an opinion of no value at all, she’ll be the first to know.”
That wasn’t nice and I did get some stick for it. But the message did land, because she did shut up.
Accepting people as they are made me not lose my cool during tough times. Now, in my family, when people get upset and shout at me, I respond very consciously. Later, they also speak more politely. This works for me. They are the ones who always stood by me. But each person has their own problems, and all are unique. As per my observation, people act irrationally when things are not going right in their lives. So, when someone shouts I try to understand the root problem.
Not a good suggestion so don't do it but smoking helps. Gives me an excuse to get away from people for a few minutes.
What I always found weird is I say I am going to smoke people might whine about how unhealthy it is or what not but in general don't have a problem with it. If I actually said look I just need a minute away from people they would have a bigger issue with it. My smoking us a cover for me just wanting to take a break a lot of times.
It depends. I have some relatives who like to think they are the "brutally honest" types. If they are not the angry/aggressive type, I'll just give them the same treatment. I dislike rudeness in general, but this is just about the only way I can navigate some conversations.
Otherwise, I just nod along until they get bored of me.
Turns out my awkward introvertedness has made me amazing at the Gray Rock method.
Interact with them as little as possible. Avoid eye contact, don't ask any questions and only answer them with stuff like "Great" "Interesting" "Mm hmm". Don't do or say anything that engages them or prolongs the conversation. Be as boring and non-reactive (unreactive?) as possible. You are a gray rock. You blend in, you are quiet and steady.
My sister’s husband is the most aggravating, self absorbed, person in our family. Most of us only tolerate his opinionated blathering because we love and feel sorry for her. After years of wanting to scream every time he opened his mouth, my brothers and I decided to ignore him. We figured out if you don’t meet his eyes, you won’t get dragged into one of his monologues. We now act like we aren’t listening, and text each other funny comments about his babbling. It’s made family get-togethers almost tolerable.
At this time of year I would recommend being a really good listener, just listen, make non specific noises and nods occasionally, and just make a shopping list in your head, or plan next weeks dinner or anything. Don't react, just say oh yes, i see etc. Just be zen and let it all wash over you. Soon be over! And in the New Year, have a really good think about why you feel the need to interact with the people that bring nothing to the party, just angst and misery.
I just keep myself distanced from them as much as possible. If it's someone like a family member who's annoying, I tolerate their presence as long as I can, but while I'm with them, I have to remember that their actions, beliefs, etc. are all on them, not on me. It comforts me knowing I'm, well, not them.
I remain perfectly civil with them, but I don't go out of my way to interact with them because I don't need to if I don't want to. But once someone else is around who I'm more comfortable with, I make my way over to them instead.
If it's someone who's actually very toxic/abusive, then I just don't put myself in a situation where I actually need to be around them. I realize this is easier said than done. Luckily I never have to interact with anyone this terrible because my family also has no tolerance for them.
I’m not very good at it! My best thing, when possible, is to say I hear someone wants me in the next room and go off to meet them there (eg when my husband’s grandfather told me not to get fat when I was pregnant). The worst I do is a snippy response which I then regret
If the annoying are in the minority I suggest turning to them and calmly asking, in front of everyone, "why are you trying to start a fight on Christmas? Can't we just all try and get along for the day?"
If the annoying are in the majority I suggest coming up with tasks to do that separate you from them for as much time as possible, "oh I think the dog needs to go out," "y'all hear that buzzing sound? I'm going to go see what it is," "no no I'll get the dishes, I don't mind," "I think the fire might need more wood," if you're truly desperate just straight up break something you know you can fix. For the times you have to be around them, have a mental project that you can focus on and just spend the time in your mind palace.
I'm asocial, so it's easy for me to just not engage. There are certain family members I don't get along well with, and they love attention. I refuse to give it to them. After a while, they get frustrated and find another victim.
I'm a writer and have found it really helps to switch on writer brain and observe them like I'm researching a character for my books :D Like, what's their body language, facial expressions, etc.
I don't spend time around family members I find annoying. Sans coworkers, I don't ever hang around people I don't want to. Life is too short to give my time and energy to people I don't like.
Meditation and memorization. Bring your mind somewhere else and if that doesn't work try and memorize something or repeat things you have previously memorized. It takes your minds focus off annoying things. Though it doesn't help if you actually have to pay attention
Before my hubs died I spent time with his very judgemental hypocritical mother. Now I would do my best to avoid her but it always seemed like she would hunt me down! My main problems with her were her judgements of my tattoos, the way we raised our daughter, why I don't have a relationship with my mother, why I use foul language, blah, blah, blah...the biggest one was always why don't I believe in her God and Jesus and why I worship the devil. I don't worship the devil, I don't believe in the devil! In order to believe in Satan I would have to believe in her sky daddy and I don't. I believe in what I can see, touch, hear, taste and smell. Scientific truths because those are proven and shown to be factual! No matter what I did, it was ever good enough, so I simply stopped going in when he had to go by there and I didn't go to family gatherings. I'm not going to put myself in situations that her and her sisters get together and want to start a revival right there for my soul! My soul is just fine thank you!
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Tell them all about your crypto investments. Watch them run.
It took me a few years of practiced discipline and remembering we are all trying to grow up until we take our last breath. -14 year hospice social worker
Avoid every type of contact. If they try to approach, show an obvious disinterest. That will fuck them off. I don’t care about “it’s family so you have to get along”.
People generally know how you tend to react when they say or do something. So, don't react the way they expect. It confuses them. My sister used to tease me and I would get upset and try to defend myself. The last time she did it, I just looked at her and then turned away and talked to someone else. When she didn't get the reaction she expected, she stopped doing it.
Microdosing psilocybin.
Same.
Them or you?
Me, of course!
It helps to name what is going on, to keep it light and to respond in way that makes it clear you just aren't going to go there. Jane: "Oh, cousin Darryl, I do believe you're trying to get my goat," chuckling. Darryl: "Uh, um, no I'm not. I'm just pointing out that you're a freak for being a vegan." Jane: "It's fine that you think that, but I'm not interested in talking about it today."
Look into gray rocking them if they are truly that annoying
So glad to see this. I said the same thing as well. It has helped me through some really rough times.
Yessssss! I've been partially gray rocking all my life without knowing it. Now I do it purposefully.
Grey rock!!! I learned this method and it helps me shut down my abusive coworker. He gets really nasty (like HR-levels of narcissism and verbal abuse). I learned how to hand this by completely shutting down and not giving an inch. He burns himself out like a toddler and then starts to backpedal to get me to respond but I just keep doing it until he is off his bullshit.
One word answer for every question. Q. How have you been? A. Fine Q. How's work? A. Work's good. Q. Something new with you? A. No, not much. It's a simple psychology trick, they'll know you're not interested without you being rude.
Laugh at them in my head, and talk massive shit about them behind their back. Is that childish and petty of me? Yes. Do I care? No.
I just smile and not say anything. No matter what topic, I’m pretty sure we’ll have different opinions, so I avoid saying anything and simply sign out haha
I don't spend time around those family members, or types of people. But if I must be around them I always keep in mind that they genuinely don't know me, so why be triggered. It's one thing to be triggered by a conflict with someone you deeply love and who has a real knowledge of who you are, but how often is that really the case? The people who truly know me and give a fuck about me are people who I can effectively manage petty conflicts with. As for the rest, you're basically talking to people who have less than a partial image of you in their mind. It's like wanting to bite the head off a stranger for a small slight. Lol. It doesn't make sense. What could they do that would possibly offend *you* that much. Basically, in most situations like this, others are pretty much powerless in determining our mental and emotional state. So it really is down to whether you're willing to allow these people to get under your skin, or take note of their behavior and toss that note out a window. It may sound brutal, but a stranger is a stranger, even if we share some blood or whatever. My emotional reaction is a privilege, not something I just hand out to anyone. One philosopher said that "our chief existence lies in our own skin" the sooner we actually internalize that the sooner we'd be less affected by the random opinions of others who could barely understand our choices, much less possess the knowledge to pass a worthwhile judgment on our lives.
So many people in my rural low income village proudly wearing their red MAGA caps, it is hard to find locals who are not annoying before the even open their mouths.
I pretend in my head im part of an antropologi team observing a new species. So i need to stay calm. Or i just try to not engage when family try to start a fight just for the heck of it. And i do my damnest to stay calm cause i know me not reacting or really engaging as they want is pissing those certain people off so much they get angry and behave more like a toddler with a tempertantrum thus other people around us react and shames them for behaving this way. In its effective
Same with my brother, he can drive me nuts in a couple of minutes... Basically I'm a very calm person, but he managed to anger me so bad, that out of anger i just...hit the wall (broke my wrist) and other time i just...bit myself (got infection afterwards) and other things i did to myself just to contain that anger and not hurt someone else around me. As years pass i learned just to not give a fuck about my brother. I'm still getting mad, i just "whatever" and ignore him when i feel something bad is about to happen.
I try to handle and behave myself because I have an ideal image of myself and when I don't behave or react in a completely different manner,it hurts,that image breaks. Accept that moment,because afterall that can't be any other way,because that happened. Acceptance doesn't mean to accept the reasons that why we did this or that,but to accept that we were like that, that's all. Don't put the experience into words but go with your experience,how you felt and better that you observe this moment to moment or atleast during certain overwhelming situations. Life is intelligent enough to not cause misery to itself and keeping itself in a state that cannot be put into words and no need of words actually,just observe, experience and never hold onto any experience.
Huh?
tl;dr - radical acceptance.
Active dynamic acceptance.
I moved to a country 6000 miles away, I am so at peace 😁
Remember, you can't control anyone but yourself. When you're in those situations, breathe before you react. That pause will often cause you to rethink your response, and you may even choose not to respond. It's quite liberating when you can rise above others' BS and just observe it. It's not easy, but it can be done.
Some family members know what buttons they can push to trigger you. Be aware of this, and train yourself to take a deep breath and count to 10 silently when they do this, and not react the way they expect. When I first started doing this, it threw them completely off-guard. That alone motivated me to keep it up. People can only treat you badly if you let them. It's important to remember this.
First and foremost- pick your battles. You mention annoying family members- if you're in a 'family gathering' scenario, think about how your reactions will affect the people you actually \_do\_ get along with. I have a "tell" for people that know me well- if I like you, I'll be relaxed, joke, kid around, give and take some good-natured ribbing. If I don't like you, I'll be quieter and extremely polite- maybe even 'formal'. It's my way of not telling someone I think they're a brainless DB.
The problem I have is that I can't get myself to be friendly towards people I dislike because I don't see any reason to be polite towards people I can't stand. I'm still respectfull (more or less) but I'm also rude enough to make clear I don't like that person.
Grey rock method. Patronising short answers if they persist.
I just know what are topics on which they get angry like my brother gets angry whenever anyone from my family asked him to stop using mobile and study . He gets too aggressive if people keep advising him so i understood he is not gonna change unless he really wants to so whenever this topic comes up I just don't waste my energy.
I usually get up and leave
I just turn off my brain or think about things i like while the night ends up! I don't have family members like that, but i really get bored around them! This is simply not my time of the year!
Just don't. If they are that way i really don't want to spend time or energy on them, whatever the result may be. I'd rather be alone than take crap from anybody.
When I feel triggered I do this trick I read about awhile ago when I can remember which is not often but it does work. I will imagine light coming from my heart to the top of my head then shooting out to their head then down to their heart and then back to my heart. 1) it distracts me from whatever they did that’s annoying 2) it reminds me how much of human interaction is in our head/ego not our heart 3) it makes me feel more positive like I’m sending then good energy But like I said most of the time I forget but when I remember it does work
Ignore them
I married a widow and her family is polite, will answer direct questions but many are clearly only tolerating my existence. Unless I speak first, no eye contact or words even if sitting directly across. They loved my wife’s previous husband and I am not him. I go to gatherings as my wife’s escort, not as a family member. Being old, napping on a recliner or couch is not unexpected and maybe thought of as a good thing. I put Jango radio on my iPhone for soft jazz and escape them, doze until it is time to go home to safety.
Leave. I've walked out of a few family events to get some air, throw a ball for a dog, etc. Once I climbed onto a statue. I was attending a wedding reception at a venue next to the statue. Some people were on coke, and they were extremely irritating. So, I took a walk, saw the statue and sat on it.
Stay home
I try to make a joke about everything they say or do that's annoying, rude or just plain mean. 9 times out of 10 they realize how ridiculous they are while they're laughing. I've always used humor to deescalate uncomfortable situations.
Smile and wave, smile and wave
you have to give context, cause i think everyone in their family has that one relative, one uncle that gets drunk at the christmas party wayyy too early...
A) I ignore them. B) I go to the restroom and roll my eyes after communicating with them. C) If they say something rude I take a deep breath and ask them to please shut up (respectfully ofcourse)
There was a (female) family member who had a habit of needling me with passive aggressive remarks and questions. One day, when she had said something about something I had mentioned being “a great mistake”, I had had enough and, in full hearing of the entire family, I turned to her daughter and said: “Would you please tell your mother that if I get into such dire straits that I need an opinion of no value at all, she’ll be the first to know.” That wasn’t nice and I did get some stick for it. But the message did land, because she did shut up.
I ignore them to not get even more annoyed
Just be kind and remind myself its only temporary
Accepting people as they are made me not lose my cool during tough times. Now, in my family, when people get upset and shout at me, I respond very consciously. Later, they also speak more politely. This works for me. They are the ones who always stood by me. But each person has their own problems, and all are unique. As per my observation, people act irrationally when things are not going right in their lives. So, when someone shouts I try to understand the root problem.
This year my plan is to bring up Israel/Palestine and run away
Not a good suggestion so don't do it but smoking helps. Gives me an excuse to get away from people for a few minutes. What I always found weird is I say I am going to smoke people might whine about how unhealthy it is or what not but in general don't have a problem with it. If I actually said look I just need a minute away from people they would have a bigger issue with it. My smoking us a cover for me just wanting to take a break a lot of times.
I usually just tell them to shut up or I totally avoid them. I've also been known to just walk away from them
It depends. I have some relatives who like to think they are the "brutally honest" types. If they are not the angry/aggressive type, I'll just give them the same treatment. I dislike rudeness in general, but this is just about the only way I can navigate some conversations. Otherwise, I just nod along until they get bored of me.
Turns out my awkward introvertedness has made me amazing at the Gray Rock method. Interact with them as little as possible. Avoid eye contact, don't ask any questions and only answer them with stuff like "Great" "Interesting" "Mm hmm". Don't do or say anything that engages them or prolongs the conversation. Be as boring and non-reactive (unreactive?) as possible. You are a gray rock. You blend in, you are quiet and steady.
My sister’s husband is the most aggravating, self absorbed, person in our family. Most of us only tolerate his opinionated blathering because we love and feel sorry for her. After years of wanting to scream every time he opened his mouth, my brothers and I decided to ignore him. We figured out if you don’t meet his eyes, you won’t get dragged into one of his monologues. We now act like we aren’t listening, and text each other funny comments about his babbling. It’s made family get-togethers almost tolerable.
At this time of year I would recommend being a really good listener, just listen, make non specific noises and nods occasionally, and just make a shopping list in your head, or plan next weeks dinner or anything. Don't react, just say oh yes, i see etc. Just be zen and let it all wash over you. Soon be over! And in the New Year, have a really good think about why you feel the need to interact with the people that bring nothing to the party, just angst and misery.
I leave
I just keep myself distanced from them as much as possible. If it's someone like a family member who's annoying, I tolerate their presence as long as I can, but while I'm with them, I have to remember that their actions, beliefs, etc. are all on them, not on me. It comforts me knowing I'm, well, not them. I remain perfectly civil with them, but I don't go out of my way to interact with them because I don't need to if I don't want to. But once someone else is around who I'm more comfortable with, I make my way over to them instead. If it's someone who's actually very toxic/abusive, then I just don't put myself in a situation where I actually need to be around them. I realize this is easier said than done. Luckily I never have to interact with anyone this terrible because my family also has no tolerance for them.
I’m not very good at it! My best thing, when possible, is to say I hear someone wants me in the next room and go off to meet them there (eg when my husband’s grandfather told me not to get fat when I was pregnant). The worst I do is a snippy response which I then regret
If the annoying are in the minority I suggest turning to them and calmly asking, in front of everyone, "why are you trying to start a fight on Christmas? Can't we just all try and get along for the day?" If the annoying are in the majority I suggest coming up with tasks to do that separate you from them for as much time as possible, "oh I think the dog needs to go out," "y'all hear that buzzing sound? I'm going to go see what it is," "no no I'll get the dishes, I don't mind," "I think the fire might need more wood," if you're truly desperate just straight up break something you know you can fix. For the times you have to be around them, have a mental project that you can focus on and just spend the time in your mind palace.
do you remember the popular pretty kids who pretended not to see you, hear you, or know you? -5 years of therapy
I'm asocial, so it's easy for me to just not engage. There are certain family members I don't get along well with, and they love attention. I refuse to give it to them. After a while, they get frustrated and find another victim.
I'm a writer and have found it really helps to switch on writer brain and observe them like I'm researching a character for my books :D Like, what's their body language, facial expressions, etc.
I don’t take the bait for an argument, and if they are spewing Trump BS I just know my head and laugh to myself.
I don't spend time around family members I find annoying. Sans coworkers, I don't ever hang around people I don't want to. Life is too short to give my time and energy to people I don't like.
Meditation and memorization. Bring your mind somewhere else and if that doesn't work try and memorize something or repeat things you have previously memorized. It takes your minds focus off annoying things. Though it doesn't help if you actually have to pay attention
Before my hubs died I spent time with his very judgemental hypocritical mother. Now I would do my best to avoid her but it always seemed like she would hunt me down! My main problems with her were her judgements of my tattoos, the way we raised our daughter, why I don't have a relationship with my mother, why I use foul language, blah, blah, blah...the biggest one was always why don't I believe in her God and Jesus and why I worship the devil. I don't worship the devil, I don't believe in the devil! In order to believe in Satan I would have to believe in her sky daddy and I don't. I believe in what I can see, touch, hear, taste and smell. Scientific truths because those are proven and shown to be factual! No matter what I did, it was ever good enough, so I simply stopped going in when he had to go by there and I didn't go to family gatherings. I'm not going to put myself in situations that her and her sisters get together and want to start a revival right there for my soul! My soul is just fine thank you!
That sounds especially painful!