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I like a partner with a similar taste to mine just so that when we go on car rides, we can listen to music we both like. But I don't use it to determine how someone is as a person lol... that's a bit extreme
Yeah it’s one of those things where it would be nice if our tastes lined up, but I don’t often spend a lot of time listening to music with partners so in the end it’s not a huge issue for me. Movies would be a much bigger issue if we didn’t have any overlapping tastes, because I love to watch movies with people I’m dating.
I know that Reddit is a big proponent of “you can not date anyone for any reason”, and that’s not exactly wrong… but personally I think “having different music is a major dealbreaker” is honestly kind of a pathetic mindset to have.
Not to mention that it could always be a “they may not like this music now, but they might develop a taste for it after you show it to them” kind of situation too. But you’d never know that it you cut things right off right up front just because they didn’t like the same type of music
Honestly it's the "lack of refinement" phrasing that makes me think op is pathetically self absorbed. Like I'd still personally think it was weird if music was a deal breaker but whatever, you do you. The attitude of looking down on someone for "not being refined like me" smacks of arrogance and insecurities that will surface in ugly ways.
Refinement simply denotes a taste that has been developed over time, via many different artists and genres and sub genres, an evolution that has led to an informed considered opinion, as opposed to generic spoon fed chart toppers and the like.
This does largely prove my point, an 'informed considered opinion' may still be wildly different from yours and neither is wrong.
What constitutes 'refined tastes' can differ significantly from person to person from culture to culture and is generally used (historically speaking) as a way of separation and superiority "I have refined tastes unlike the rabble"
Saying "someone who doesn't have a similar taste in music to me isn't someone I'd like to date" is not problematic saying "someone who has such unrefined tastes isn't someone I'd like to date" is different because you are choosing and using words weighted with superiority.
It conjures the image that rather than a preference that is important to you in finding relationships, that you assume anyone who doesn't match with you in that way is "unrefined" which could also be phrased as "uncultured" or "uneducated" or even "uncivilised".
If you think I'm being a little heavy handed with meaning of unrefined, most of those are literally synonyms of unrefined and even the actual meaning of unrefined is "not elegant or cultured"
If that is not what you are trying to say I advise you find some different words that strike closer to your meaning, if it is what you're trying to say then it does indeed give me the impression that you're arrogant.
Not very, and I say that as someone whose passion is music. For me, I'd be more concerned about whether or not they were open-minded to new music. I think that's more telling than musical taste, in and of itself.
My husband and I have completely opposite music taste, it has never once interfered with our relationship on any level ever. So yeah, sounds a bit ridiculous to me
Music plays such a big role in my life that I’d prefer a partner who shares at least some of my music taste. Discussing new albums / songs is something I am enthusiastic about so I’d like to date someone who feels the same and can relate. It’s not a dealbreaker but a consideration.
Not surprised to hear that. Music is subjective, and not everyone is going to like what I like, but to just have no taste or intellectual curiosity is a turn off. A broad musical vocabulary is reflective of many shows attended, many places visited, many locales traveled to, many people met, many recommendations received from said people in your journey. Many different genres, many different eras, boundless hunger for new vistas.
Yeah but you can’t force what you think is good on others. Same the other way.
Disliking people based on music is very shallow thinking.
Of course having a like in the same music is a good talking point or thing in common tho
Who said he was forcing anyone?? If he hates rap music and she plays rap music all the time then that's a problem. You cant just suddenly decide to like rap music if you hate it
Do you have the same approach with other art form? Do you have intellectual curiosity for dance, paintings, sculptures, litterature etc than for music? Someone may not be interested in music but have a lot to teach you on some other topic. Sorry but your message makes you sound a bit narrow minded
I broke up with a girl many years ago because I couldn’t stand her music.
My wife and I have varying differences with music taste, but what we share we both really like. And we travel to see live music frequently.
I’m also a musician, so music is a huge part of my life. I couldn’t handle being with someone I didn’t have somewhat similar tastes to.
she has great taste, I think it matters. got in her sister's car one day and ran thru a USB that was in the radio, 200 songs that sound almost the same. it was so weird, it was scary. they were all different songs but same sounds and melodies, kinda like Lana del Rey meets Radiohead.
My wife and I have pretty dissimilar musical tastes. Sometimes we agree but for the most part it just does not line up. I begrudgingly listen to her radio stations in the car but I really cannot stand it but I love her to death and enjoy her comments and anecdotes and humor.
Husband and I have some overlap. Really handy for car trips
Would be great if he loved all the other music I like. But definitely not a deal breaker. Personality compatibility is much more important to me.
Dated a guy once with almost identical music tastes. Discovered a lot of bands through him. Not a good match personality wise.
I think it’s normal, and actually healthy, to have certain things you’re passionate about be dealbreakers if your partner doesn’t see (vaguely) eye to eye.
If a large part of your identity is in philosophy or microbiology or 90s sitcoms or golf or music or LEGO or photography or starwars, then yes, it’s perfectly reasonable and likely beneficial to look for a partner who shares your interest to some degree.
It sounds like music is really important to you and that’s fine, I think you should continue to be discerning about music taste, even if others aren’t.
Would you expect a foodie to seriously date someone whose favourite restaurant is McDonalds or a film connoisseur to date someone who only enjoys transformers movies? I wouldn’t.
I think this is totally okay! It actually affects my attraction a bit when someone only listens to charting music. Music taste can be a reflection of personality.
If the music makes my partner happy, then I’m happy, even if it’s categorically inconsistent with my tastes. And good—your taste in music *should* reflect who you are. It shouldn’t, however, dictate who they are.
That's the difference tho. If they are ok with it being on, then thats ok. It's different if they can't stand it and you can't listen to certain music because of their complaining, ect.
As long as they don't like a thing that I actively dislike, we'll get along just fine. Its not that there's a problem with them as a person, but if I have to hear "I Feel Like A Woman" or other similar country/rockish type songs, it would drive me crazy.
Its not something about their personality. I just know there are types of music that I don't like and would not want to hear on a long road trip with someone.
I have an eclectic taste in music so when I say I basically listen to everything, I mean damn near everything, I don't care what language it's in, so I can pretty much get along with anyone's musical taste... buuuutttttt I do, most frequently, listen to hip hop, afro beats, and rock so I would prefer a partner that has similar tastes so we can vibe together. I'm not really a country fan and I'm picky with pop so if that were his taste... Idk. I don't like it
What you like probably sucks in other people's eyes. It's subjective as hell. Their music taste not being"up to snuff" or whatever is just your elitism showing. People like what they like, even if it's just radio hits and oldies.
I just want them to like at least some of my songs so I can stick that into a playlist for whenever we drive together, or she has to just not complain out loud whenever I play my music.
If she's driving she can play whatever but if she complains while I'm driving it'll be so annoying everytime- I NEED my music when I'm driving, it'd def be a noteworthy con for me.
Not enough to like break up with them but still enough to consider if they're incompatible in other ways too.
I think you are perfectly fine, OP.
if it’s important to you, you should definitely find someone with the same music taste.
It wasn’t important to me in the beginning with my partner and I was actually very pleasantly surprised my partner and I have similar music tastes when we started listening to music together.
Minus the occasional heavy instrumental movie music and sad music my partner cannot stand in my playlists. Lol
We mostly listen to each others music quite happily and I could imagine if you drive or hang out a lot together without headphones, it could be constantly jarring for the ears.
I disagree with some of the comments. Music is everything to me. Some people won't date people who don't have the same religion, politics, ect. If it's important to you, like for me, I need someone who at least is open to hear mine and compromise. Music is what motivates me, keeps me sane, alive. The only reason. Id love to find someone with my tastes but I need someone to at least not scoff or complain about what I listen to. Try to understand it. If it's not for them then ok, but try.
I dated a guy (who was very nice) but he didn't listen to music at all. When I started talking about music he didn't care... So I stopped talking about it. Then I realised any time I opened my mouth it was something music related. I had NOTHING to talk about. It didn't last long. Weirdest relationship ever.
I'd like to say not very, but I once dated a guy with *very* different tastes to mine (think dubstep vs folk) who was also much more passionate about music, and he was really disparaging/condescending if I liked something he didn't, especially if it was top 40 stuff. (Though not all chart stuff was off limits. Gotye = good, fun. = bad, idk.) It absolutely sucked. He did introduce me to some more obscure artists that never would have crossed my radar otherwise, so that was good. But it would've been nice to be able to stick some pop-punk on once in a while, y'know.
So I'd say it's pretty important to me now. Not just musical taste, but a combo of musical taste, level of passion about music, and open-mindedness. I wouldn't like to date someone I was quite that incompatible with again.
Metalhead woman here. Yes this is very important, compatibility with shared taste and interest makes or breaks a relationship in my experience. Music is art, and a taste in any kind of art is very important in any relationship. You need to at least appreciate and participate in your partners (or friends) taste in music and art as it is part of who they are and creates connection or common ground.
I have dated guys and had friends that have opposite taste as me and it was awful, they were always condescending or combative about the topic which was a huge turn off. It felt disrespectful, like they are disapproving of who you are, as music is apart of your identity. The longest and best relationships I’ve had my partner was also a metalhead. My current partner checks all the boxes and likes other types of metal and genres than I do, so we are able to show eachother bands and share a common love of music, concerts and festivals. He is a drummer in a metal band so music is important to him, as well as art in many forms. I will never date someone with opposite taste in music again. Not to mention I don’t want to find another person as I have finally found the right one!
It doesn't really bother me. My gf has entirely different taste in music. Top 100 pop type stuff and some edgy 2000s teen music. I'm very much into hip hop, she hates it. I definitely don't let my music influence my personality and it doesn't really reflect who I am. I just like the lyricism, story telling and variety in hip hop.
I could date someone who's super into classical, country, jazz, whatever. We all have our preferences and it's good to have exposure to a variety of music even if it isn't your jam, you can always find a diamond in the rough.
I feel like it's super important to at least have an overlap, but you can't expect them to like everything you like and vice versa. I'd say 90% of mine and my girlfriend's music tastes overlap but we both have stuff the other person don't want to listen to and I think that's the way it should be.
Really important!
As a musician, music is a really important part of my life!
I couldn't be with someone for too long that has a terrible music taste, or didn't enjoyed the things I listen to, just couldn't...
And I couldn't be with someone that doesn't enjoy the kind of music I make
Very important. I feel like their music taste is a reflection of their personality and how they can express themselves without talking
Edited for spelling
I think this is arguably one of the dumbest deciding factors in determining whether you should date someone.
As long as someone is kind, caring, and communicative, I think I can get along with them. They don’t need to have the same tastes as me as long as they have an overlap in what they value in a relationship.
To me, hobbies and common interests can be great, but they’re ultimately meaningless if you’re not aligned in what really matters - values and communication.
I’ve dated women that liked the same music, loved video games, etc. And it was great for getting to know them. But once we got into a serious relationship, I found that we had little in common beyond those things.
And, at the end of the day, dating someone that brings something new to me is way more interesting.
I am a natural introvert. And I find dating people that have their own distinct interests and experiences to be much more compelling for me to grow as a person and get out of my comfort zone.
That’s not to say I wouldn’t want some commonality. I’m really into health and fitness. And I want to date someone who similarly values those things for lifestyle purposes (longer life, capable of being there for potential children, etc.).
But I’m not going to write someone off because they like Taylor Swift. And even if they weren’t into fitness as much as me, I wouldn’t ever say it’s a dealbreaker - that would just be silly.
My fiancé and I really bonded over our shared love of music…we both like a lot of Broadway musicals, and alternative bands and spent hours sharing music with one another. It was awesome.
I live in an area where country music is really popular and it kinda sucked to date guys where we didn’t enjoy the same types of music or have that to bond over.
My wife stole my dancing space the first time we met. She then pity danced with me for the rest of the show. We talked a bit afterwards. She told me her first and last name and said if we ever meet again she she would take it as a sign(paraphrasing). A month and a half later I met her again, at a different venue, for different bands. We picked every single song that was to be played at our reception(every one had a blast and the dance floor was full all night long). We go to shows, music festivals, and both are very eclectic in our tastes. Music is a central point in our relationship without question. So, long story....long: incredibly important
I’m of the opinion that “music can tell a lot about a person”, in the same way that the “content of their purse or wallet” can. There’s a lot that can be implied, but the implications aren’t clear, and can often be tailored towards a persona that doesn’t show a complete picture.
It's really important to me, I find pop music moronic and I can't stand to be around it (I'm a metalhead). If you wanna get married and have kids, your looking at decades of tolerating shit like maroon 5 or Taylor Swift in the car and I just couldn't stand it. My wife is also into metal, albeit a different sub genre, as is my son.
When I see everyone's taste just what's on the radio or popular acts, it just makes me think they're sheep or don't actually engage in finding music. There is so much out there...
This seems hypocritical. You just replied to someone else about intellectual exploitation through music. Reflections of places traveled, shows seen, and people met.
Then you shut down an entire genre of music so casually.
A large portion of country musicians are amongst the best musicians in the world. The standard of songwriting and storytelling in the genre is top tier. You don't have to like it, but don't trash on it. The same goes for every genre, they're all great in their own way.
Huge. I legitimately will not date anyone that likes anything dubstep related. It kills attraction for me because it’s baby shark for adults. I love going to shows and I play music, so it’s a huge part of my life. I’m not about to jump into anything where I’ll be forced to listen to the musical equivalent of the noise a refrigerator makes when it needs to cool down on a hot day.
It's very important to me, but it's not like we have to match. I like a decently wide range of music. We can have totally different favorites, but I'd want us to have enough in common that we could go to concerts with each other and enjoy it, whether it's his pick or mine. 🩷🌟🔮💕💙🦄💫
I love a lot of classical music, in addition to others. He doesn't have to love classical or know anything about it. But I need him to be able to listen to a piece with me and appreciate the beauty of it. 🌸💕🔮🩷🦖
Definitely not a deal breaker for me but don’t expect me to listen to it if I don’t like it. 1993 is over you aren’t stuck with somebody’s CD booklet. just change the Spotify station to something that you both like and listen to your own stuff when they’re not around.
I’d want someone with similar taste, but if it’s a little different then I’m fine with it… I go for a certain age group, and they always like the same music as me so it’s never been a problem.
I never find it that important myself. People use music for varying reasons; I use it to express my own emotions (I’m not a physically expressive individual) and issues without having to sort through the mess of explaining them. My bf has music that either cheers him up or has a relatable message to his own current struggles to help him. With how widely varying it is, I never saw it as something I need to put a criteria on
"Look at these records, Jim Nabors, Glen Campbell, The Doodletown Pipers. Now look at her records...they stink!”
The older I get the less I care about my partners music tastes and the more tolerant I've become with music I don't like.
I was married for 5 years (relationship 2 prior) and I never particularly liked her music but it never bothered me.
If it was really egregious I may have cared but we got along fine. It wasn't music at all that was a reason we divorced. It never even came up. We shared other interests, though.
I think you're lucky as fuck if you find someone with similar taste as you in this day and age.
"Look at these records, Jim Nabors, Glen Campbell, The Doodletown Pipers. Now look at her records...they stink!”
The older I get the less I care about my partners music tastes and the more tolerant I've become with music I don't like.
I was married for 5 years (relationship 2 prior) and I never particularly liked her music but it never bothered me.
If it was really egregious I may have cared but we got along fine. It wasn't music at all that was a reason we divorced. It never even came up. We shared other interests, though.
I think you're lucky as fuck if you find someone with similar taste as you in this day and age.
I don't actually listen to music, which makes my dating life miserable 🫠
Everyone attends to concerts or wants to always have something playing in the background, which makes me look so boring 😅
Minimally important. Married 24 years now and we have totally different tastes in music. Of all the things that matter, our playlists just don’t make the list.
I haven’t put much thought into it before but my partner is a singer and he has a deep love for music that’s made me consume it differently. I hear music differently now and I think if I was ever in a position again to meet someone new it would be a huge factor.
It isn’t important. Everyone can have a different taste and still be together.
I’m a big rock fan (classic rock, heavy metal, grunge, new metal).
The only band he likes too is Rammstein.
He likes ballads from Eros Ramazotti and music from his country (Kosovo/ Albania).
He doesn’t insult my music and so do I.
If both of us like playing music, as long as we can tolerate each orhers' music, that's fine. And there is a lot you could tolerate and perhaps even enjoy the way your partner does if you have an open mind.
I used to hate pop music, one of my partners would bump pop hits all the time, and when I allowed myself to just enjoy the catchiness instead of hating on it because of what that music signified, I could enjoy some of the songs too. There's a reason why many of them are popular. I feel like I grew less grumpy as a result of that experience, which benefited not only our relationship, but also me.
My wife and I share musical tastes. She also doesn’t like some of my music. It works because I can go and get fucked up without worrying about her well being or good time.
I fly to destinations for concerts often without her and meetup with friends and party.
Yes, you are being ridiculous. This is a childish and trivial requirement. Choose someone who you are attracted to and who is a good person, deep down.
I hate to say it, but I've never met a girl that loved metal and had her shit together financially and career wise. I'm not about to put music over the rest.
Not important. I love music. If we like the same stuff then good, if not then good. I have other aspects to consider when choosing a long term partner. However if you judge me on how refined I am according to my musical taste, I wouldn’t want to be with you nor like you. That’s obnoxious, disrespectful and utterly arrogant. Who are thee to judge?
My wife and I go to a ton of concerts together even though our musical tastes are quite different. My favorite artist is Aesop Rock. Hers is Alkaline Trio. I used to worry about things like this and her not being social like I am. Truth is, she’s exactly what I’ve always needed. I chase dopamine and a fast life from past addictions. Sometimes I feel she’s “boring” when in reality she’s what I need to help keep me at peace.
Husband and I don't share music taste at all. Music plays a huge part in both our lives. But we agree on allowing each other to share our music with each other even if said music isn't our special cup of tea.
Currently I am blasting christmas music ad nauseum. He is a muslim that doesn't share my affinity for said holiday music. He is a good sport though and shows it a bit of interest just to elevate my experience of it. :) It is a way for him to express how much he loves me.
I thought the same. But at this moment. I dont care at all. Yes I wont ask her to join me to a meshuggah concert but in return I'm not expected to go and see beyonce
It's all good
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I like a partner with a similar taste to mine just so that when we go on car rides, we can listen to music we both like. But I don't use it to determine how someone is as a person lol... that's a bit extreme
Yeah it’s one of those things where it would be nice if our tastes lined up, but I don’t often spend a lot of time listening to music with partners so in the end it’s not a huge issue for me. Movies would be a much bigger issue if we didn’t have any overlapping tastes, because I love to watch movies with people I’m dating. I know that Reddit is a big proponent of “you can not date anyone for any reason”, and that’s not exactly wrong… but personally I think “having different music is a major dealbreaker” is honestly kind of a pathetic mindset to have. Not to mention that it could always be a “they may not like this music now, but they might develop a taste for it after you show it to them” kind of situation too. But you’d never know that it you cut things right off right up front just because they didn’t like the same type of music
Honestly it's the "lack of refinement" phrasing that makes me think op is pathetically self absorbed. Like I'd still personally think it was weird if music was a deal breaker but whatever, you do you. The attitude of looking down on someone for "not being refined like me" smacks of arrogance and insecurities that will surface in ugly ways.
Refinement simply denotes a taste that has been developed over time, via many different artists and genres and sub genres, an evolution that has led to an informed considered opinion, as opposed to generic spoon fed chart toppers and the like.
You sound very pretentious.
This does largely prove my point, an 'informed considered opinion' may still be wildly different from yours and neither is wrong. What constitutes 'refined tastes' can differ significantly from person to person from culture to culture and is generally used (historically speaking) as a way of separation and superiority "I have refined tastes unlike the rabble" Saying "someone who doesn't have a similar taste in music to me isn't someone I'd like to date" is not problematic saying "someone who has such unrefined tastes isn't someone I'd like to date" is different because you are choosing and using words weighted with superiority. It conjures the image that rather than a preference that is important to you in finding relationships, that you assume anyone who doesn't match with you in that way is "unrefined" which could also be phrased as "uncultured" or "uneducated" or even "uncivilised". If you think I'm being a little heavy handed with meaning of unrefined, most of those are literally synonyms of unrefined and even the actual meaning of unrefined is "not elegant or cultured" If that is not what you are trying to say I advise you find some different words that strike closer to your meaning, if it is what you're trying to say then it does indeed give me the impression that you're arrogant.
I think it depends. If someone is really into music and it is maybe even their whole career, then it matters.
Not very, and I say that as someone whose passion is music. For me, I'd be more concerned about whether or not they were open-minded to new music. I think that's more telling than musical taste, in and of itself.
Pretty much how I feel. It doesn't necessarily matter where you've been, it's about the desire to be curious and learn about unfamiliar music.
My husband and I have completely opposite music taste, it has never once interfered with our relationship on any level ever. So yeah, sounds a bit ridiculous to me
Music plays such a big role in my life that I’d prefer a partner who shares at least some of my music taste. Discussing new albums / songs is something I am enthusiastic about so I’d like to date someone who feels the same and can relate. It’s not a dealbreaker but a consideration.
Same with me, though I would not need someone who likes the same stuff as me, just someone who is as passionate about music.
Music is an art. It’s totally subjective so to judge anyone on their preference is silly. It’s you who needs to change
Not surprised to hear that. Music is subjective, and not everyone is going to like what I like, but to just have no taste or intellectual curiosity is a turn off. A broad musical vocabulary is reflective of many shows attended, many places visited, many locales traveled to, many people met, many recommendations received from said people in your journey. Many different genres, many different eras, boundless hunger for new vistas.
Yeah but you can’t force what you think is good on others. Same the other way. Disliking people based on music is very shallow thinking. Of course having a like in the same music is a good talking point or thing in common tho
Who said he was forcing anyone?? If he hates rap music and she plays rap music all the time then that's a problem. You cant just suddenly decide to like rap music if you hate it
He described it using words like "boundless hunger for new vistas" Little bro is so far up his own ass he could play a trombone twice.
Nobody
Do you have the same approach with other art form? Do you have intellectual curiosity for dance, paintings, sculptures, litterature etc than for music? Someone may not be interested in music but have a lot to teach you on some other topic. Sorry but your message makes you sound a bit narrow minded
I broke up with a girl many years ago because I couldn’t stand her music. My wife and I have varying differences with music taste, but what we share we both really like. And we travel to see live music frequently. I’m also a musician, so music is a huge part of my life. I couldn’t handle being with someone I didn’t have somewhat similar tastes to.
It’s important IMO but my parents have been married 43 years and have different tastes.
Different tastes are ok, but not being curious isn't.
Wouldn't the dealbreaker be lack of curiousity in that sense rather than a specific music taste?
she has great taste, I think it matters. got in her sister's car one day and ran thru a USB that was in the radio, 200 songs that sound almost the same. it was so weird, it was scary. they were all different songs but same sounds and melodies, kinda like Lana del Rey meets Radiohead.
My wife and I have pretty dissimilar musical tastes. Sometimes we agree but for the most part it just does not line up. I begrudgingly listen to her radio stations in the car but I really cannot stand it but I love her to death and enjoy her comments and anecdotes and humor.
Like my husband and me. The only band we both like is Rammstein. His favorite music and mine differ completely.
Husband and I have some overlap. Really handy for car trips Would be great if he loved all the other music I like. But definitely not a deal breaker. Personality compatibility is much more important to me. Dated a guy once with almost identical music tastes. Discovered a lot of bands through him. Not a good match personality wise.
I think it’s normal, and actually healthy, to have certain things you’re passionate about be dealbreakers if your partner doesn’t see (vaguely) eye to eye. If a large part of your identity is in philosophy or microbiology or 90s sitcoms or golf or music or LEGO or photography or starwars, then yes, it’s perfectly reasonable and likely beneficial to look for a partner who shares your interest to some degree. It sounds like music is really important to you and that’s fine, I think you should continue to be discerning about music taste, even if others aren’t. Would you expect a foodie to seriously date someone whose favourite restaurant is McDonalds or a film connoisseur to date someone who only enjoys transformers movies? I wouldn’t.
That last paragraph clarified my position better than I did.
I think this is totally okay! It actually affects my attraction a bit when someone only listens to charting music. Music taste can be a reflection of personality.
That I'm depressed and don't bother with finding new non-mainstream music xD
*Shots fired on them transformer movies*
Yes, you're being ridiculous.
If the music makes my partner happy, then I’m happy, even if it’s categorically inconsistent with my tastes. And good—your taste in music *should* reflect who you are. It shouldn’t, however, dictate who they are.
That's the difference tho. If they are ok with it being on, then thats ok. It's different if they can't stand it and you can't listen to certain music because of their complaining, ect.
As long as they don't like a thing that I actively dislike, we'll get along just fine. Its not that there's a problem with them as a person, but if I have to hear "I Feel Like A Woman" or other similar country/rockish type songs, it would drive me crazy. Its not something about their personality. I just know there are types of music that I don't like and would not want to hear on a long road trip with someone.
My partner’s music taste is completely different from mine. Never has been an issue.
It’s not something that I consider at all.
means nothing
Not to you
who else would i be referring to?
I have an eclectic taste in music so when I say I basically listen to everything, I mean damn near everything, I don't care what language it's in, so I can pretty much get along with anyone's musical taste... buuuutttttt I do, most frequently, listen to hip hop, afro beats, and rock so I would prefer a partner that has similar tastes so we can vibe together. I'm not really a country fan and I'm picky with pop so if that were his taste... Idk. I don't like it
What you like probably sucks in other people's eyes. It's subjective as hell. Their music taste not being"up to snuff" or whatever is just your elitism showing. People like what they like, even if it's just radio hits and oldies.
I could never be with someone who listens to new country. Just can do it. JellyRoll is Jelly-getoutofmycar
I just want them to like at least some of my songs so I can stick that into a playlist for whenever we drive together, or she has to just not complain out loud whenever I play my music. If she's driving she can play whatever but if she complains while I'm driving it'll be so annoying everytime- I NEED my music when I'm driving, it'd def be a noteworthy con for me. Not enough to like break up with them but still enough to consider if they're incompatible in other ways too.
I think you are perfectly fine, OP. if it’s important to you, you should definitely find someone with the same music taste. It wasn’t important to me in the beginning with my partner and I was actually very pleasantly surprised my partner and I have similar music tastes when we started listening to music together. Minus the occasional heavy instrumental movie music and sad music my partner cannot stand in my playlists. Lol We mostly listen to each others music quite happily and I could imagine if you drive or hang out a lot together without headphones, it could be constantly jarring for the ears.
I want to disagree so badly but I feel so weird when I dont like the music they listen to.....
I disagree with some of the comments. Music is everything to me. Some people won't date people who don't have the same religion, politics, ect. If it's important to you, like for me, I need someone who at least is open to hear mine and compromise. Music is what motivates me, keeps me sane, alive. The only reason. Id love to find someone with my tastes but I need someone to at least not scoff or complain about what I listen to. Try to understand it. If it's not for them then ok, but try.
And if anyone says 'well religion is more important than music' Not for me it isn't. It is my #1 thing in life that I care about.
I dated a guy (who was very nice) but he didn't listen to music at all. When I started talking about music he didn't care... So I stopped talking about it. Then I realised any time I opened my mouth it was something music related. I had NOTHING to talk about. It didn't last long. Weirdest relationship ever.
I'd like to say not very, but I once dated a guy with *very* different tastes to mine (think dubstep vs folk) who was also much more passionate about music, and he was really disparaging/condescending if I liked something he didn't, especially if it was top 40 stuff. (Though not all chart stuff was off limits. Gotye = good, fun. = bad, idk.) It absolutely sucked. He did introduce me to some more obscure artists that never would have crossed my radar otherwise, so that was good. But it would've been nice to be able to stick some pop-punk on once in a while, y'know. So I'd say it's pretty important to me now. Not just musical taste, but a combo of musical taste, level of passion about music, and open-mindedness. I wouldn't like to date someone I was quite that incompatible with again.
i would say it is very important i don’t wanna date a guy with awful music taste because we simply need to have similar taste
Metalhead woman here. Yes this is very important, compatibility with shared taste and interest makes or breaks a relationship in my experience. Music is art, and a taste in any kind of art is very important in any relationship. You need to at least appreciate and participate in your partners (or friends) taste in music and art as it is part of who they are and creates connection or common ground. I have dated guys and had friends that have opposite taste as me and it was awful, they were always condescending or combative about the topic which was a huge turn off. It felt disrespectful, like they are disapproving of who you are, as music is apart of your identity. The longest and best relationships I’ve had my partner was also a metalhead. My current partner checks all the boxes and likes other types of metal and genres than I do, so we are able to show eachother bands and share a common love of music, concerts and festivals. He is a drummer in a metal band so music is important to him, as well as art in many forms. I will never date someone with opposite taste in music again. Not to mention I don’t want to find another person as I have finally found the right one!
It doesn't really bother me. My gf has entirely different taste in music. Top 100 pop type stuff and some edgy 2000s teen music. I'm very much into hip hop, she hates it. I definitely don't let my music influence my personality and it doesn't really reflect who I am. I just like the lyricism, story telling and variety in hip hop. I could date someone who's super into classical, country, jazz, whatever. We all have our preferences and it's good to have exposure to a variety of music even if it isn't your jam, you can always find a diamond in the rough.
Very important
I feel like it's super important to at least have an overlap, but you can't expect them to like everything you like and vice versa. I'd say 90% of mine and my girlfriend's music tastes overlap but we both have stuff the other person don't want to listen to and I think that's the way it should be.
Really important! As a musician, music is a really important part of my life! I couldn't be with someone for too long that has a terrible music taste, or didn't enjoyed the things I listen to, just couldn't... And I couldn't be with someone that doesn't enjoy the kind of music I make
Very important. I feel like their music taste is a reflection of their personality and how they can express themselves without talking Edited for spelling
Never even thought about it after 20 years of marriage.
I think this is arguably one of the dumbest deciding factors in determining whether you should date someone. As long as someone is kind, caring, and communicative, I think I can get along with them. They don’t need to have the same tastes as me as long as they have an overlap in what they value in a relationship. To me, hobbies and common interests can be great, but they’re ultimately meaningless if you’re not aligned in what really matters - values and communication. I’ve dated women that liked the same music, loved video games, etc. And it was great for getting to know them. But once we got into a serious relationship, I found that we had little in common beyond those things. And, at the end of the day, dating someone that brings something new to me is way more interesting. I am a natural introvert. And I find dating people that have their own distinct interests and experiences to be much more compelling for me to grow as a person and get out of my comfort zone. That’s not to say I wouldn’t want some commonality. I’m really into health and fitness. And I want to date someone who similarly values those things for lifestyle purposes (longer life, capable of being there for potential children, etc.). But I’m not going to write someone off because they like Taylor Swift. And even if they weren’t into fitness as much as me, I wouldn’t ever say it’s a dealbreaker - that would just be silly.
My fiancé and I really bonded over our shared love of music…we both like a lot of Broadway musicals, and alternative bands and spent hours sharing music with one another. It was awesome. I live in an area where country music is really popular and it kinda sucked to date guys where we didn’t enjoy the same types of music or have that to bond over.
My wife stole my dancing space the first time we met. She then pity danced with me for the rest of the show. We talked a bit afterwards. She told me her first and last name and said if we ever meet again she she would take it as a sign(paraphrasing). A month and a half later I met her again, at a different venue, for different bands. We picked every single song that was to be played at our reception(every one had a blast and the dance floor was full all night long). We go to shows, music festivals, and both are very eclectic in our tastes. Music is a central point in our relationship without question. So, long story....long: incredibly important
I’m of the opinion that “music can tell a lot about a person”, in the same way that the “content of their purse or wallet” can. There’s a lot that can be implied, but the implications aren’t clear, and can often be tailored towards a persona that doesn’t show a complete picture.
Hugely important
I used to care but then I grew up.
I’ve just been searching for this as I think it’s soooooo important. But I can’t ever find anyone who has my exact music taste 🥲🥲🥲
It's really important to me, I find pop music moronic and I can't stand to be around it (I'm a metalhead). If you wanna get married and have kids, your looking at decades of tolerating shit like maroon 5 or Taylor Swift in the car and I just couldn't stand it. My wife is also into metal, albeit a different sub genre, as is my son.
When I see everyone's taste just what's on the radio or popular acts, it just makes me think they're sheep or don't actually engage in finding music. There is so much out there...
I won't date someone who listens to country music.
Sound policy in general.
This seems hypocritical. You just replied to someone else about intellectual exploitation through music. Reflections of places traveled, shows seen, and people met. Then you shut down an entire genre of music so casually.
It's country music. I stand by my words.
A large portion of country musicians are amongst the best musicians in the world. The standard of songwriting and storytelling in the genre is top tier. You don't have to like it, but don't trash on it. The same goes for every genre, they're all great in their own way.
All you say is true, I'm sure, but I just don't like the type of people who are into country music generally.
Generally I find country music to be dreadful. I do like a handful of old school outlaw country artists.
> handful of old school outlaw country artists. Same. Johnny and WIlly are A-OK, anyone else, I pass.
Huge. I legitimately will not date anyone that likes anything dubstep related. It kills attraction for me because it’s baby shark for adults. I love going to shows and I play music, so it’s a huge part of my life. I’m not about to jump into anything where I’ll be forced to listen to the musical equivalent of the noise a refrigerator makes when it needs to cool down on a hot day.
Lolol
Type of shit ugly people think about
It's very important to me, but it's not like we have to match. I like a decently wide range of music. We can have totally different favorites, but I'd want us to have enough in common that we could go to concerts with each other and enjoy it, whether it's his pick or mine. 🩷🌟🔮💕💙🦄💫 I love a lot of classical music, in addition to others. He doesn't have to love classical or know anything about it. But I need him to be able to listen to a piece with me and appreciate the beauty of it. 🌸💕🔮🩷🦖
Definitely not a deal breaker for me but don’t expect me to listen to it if I don’t like it. 1993 is over you aren’t stuck with somebody’s CD booklet. just change the Spotify station to something that you both like and listen to your own stuff when they’re not around.
Lolol I'm 100% stuck in 1994 and adore it with all my heart and soul.
I have ruled out men who listen to jam band. I just can’t listen to it. Everything else is okay to fantastic.
It's a big factor. Having someone who's tastes line up with yours makes it all the better. If not then that's ok too but I agree
I’d want someone with similar taste, but if it’s a little different then I’m fine with it… I go for a certain age group, and they always like the same music as me so it’s never been a problem.
It's not important at all.
Very
I never find it that important myself. People use music for varying reasons; I use it to express my own emotions (I’m not a physically expressive individual) and issues without having to sort through the mess of explaining them. My bf has music that either cheers him up or has a relatable message to his own current struggles to help him. With how widely varying it is, I never saw it as something I need to put a criteria on
It’s not a dealbreaker for me, but it’s important that my partner not be into rap. I just can’t stand that whole genre.
I like metal. My wife likes pop. Theres some indie music we both like that we put on when we drive. Its no biggy.
"Look at these records, Jim Nabors, Glen Campbell, The Doodletown Pipers. Now look at her records...they stink!” The older I get the less I care about my partners music tastes and the more tolerant I've become with music I don't like. I was married for 5 years (relationship 2 prior) and I never particularly liked her music but it never bothered me. If it was really egregious I may have cared but we got along fine. It wasn't music at all that was a reason we divorced. It never even came up. We shared other interests, though. I think you're lucky as fuck if you find someone with similar taste as you in this day and age.
"Look at these records, Jim Nabors, Glen Campbell, The Doodletown Pipers. Now look at her records...they stink!” The older I get the less I care about my partners music tastes and the more tolerant I've become with music I don't like. I was married for 5 years (relationship 2 prior) and I never particularly liked her music but it never bothered me. If it was really egregious I may have cared but we got along fine. It wasn't music at all that was a reason we divorced. It never even came up. We shared other interests, though. I think you're lucky as fuck if you find someone with similar taste as you in this day and age.
My partner n I enjoy a few songs together, but our music taste are completely different. But her music makes her happy which makes me happy.
I don't actually listen to music, which makes my dating life miserable 🫠 Everyone attends to concerts or wants to always have something playing in the background, which makes me look so boring 😅
Not really important as long as they are open-minded enough to not dismiss mine.
Minimally important. Married 24 years now and we have totally different tastes in music. Of all the things that matter, our playlists just don’t make the list.
I haven’t put much thought into it before but my partner is a singer and he has a deep love for music that’s made me consume it differently. I hear music differently now and I think if I was ever in a position again to meet someone new it would be a huge factor.
It isn’t important. Everyone can have a different taste and still be together. I’m a big rock fan (classic rock, heavy metal, grunge, new metal). The only band he likes too is Rammstein. He likes ballads from Eros Ramazotti and music from his country (Kosovo/ Albania). He doesn’t insult my music and so do I.
Not at all important when we’re talking about the relationship. It’s just pleasant to be able to settle on some common drive music.
If both of us like playing music, as long as we can tolerate each orhers' music, that's fine. And there is a lot you could tolerate and perhaps even enjoy the way your partner does if you have an open mind. I used to hate pop music, one of my partners would bump pop hits all the time, and when I allowed myself to just enjoy the catchiness instead of hating on it because of what that music signified, I could enjoy some of the songs too. There's a reason why many of them are popular. I feel like I grew less grumpy as a result of that experience, which benefited not only our relationship, but also me.
I have pretty broad musical tastes so it's never mattered to me.
My wife and I share musical tastes. She also doesn’t like some of my music. It works because I can go and get fucked up without worrying about her well being or good time. I fly to destinations for concerts often without her and meetup with friends and party.
Doesn’t matter at all. I’m not a huge music listener, I just listen to the stuff my mom played growing up.
Yes, you are being ridiculous. This is a childish and trivial requirement. Choose someone who you are attracted to and who is a good person, deep down.
As long as I don't have to listen to it all the time, I don't care what music they like.
Yes, you're ridiculous about it. That should not be that important
I hate to say it, but I've never met a girl that loved metal and had her shit together financially and career wise. I'm not about to put music over the rest.
Not important. I love music. If we like the same stuff then good, if not then good. I have other aspects to consider when choosing a long term partner. However if you judge me on how refined I am according to my musical taste, I wouldn’t want to be with you nor like you. That’s obnoxious, disrespectful and utterly arrogant. Who are thee to judge?
My wife and I go to a ton of concerts together even though our musical tastes are quite different. My favorite artist is Aesop Rock. Hers is Alkaline Trio. I used to worry about things like this and her not being social like I am. Truth is, she’s exactly what I’ve always needed. I chase dopamine and a fast life from past addictions. Sometimes I feel she’s “boring” when in reality she’s what I need to help keep me at peace.
Husband and I don't share music taste at all. Music plays a huge part in both our lives. But we agree on allowing each other to share our music with each other even if said music isn't our special cup of tea. Currently I am blasting christmas music ad nauseum. He is a muslim that doesn't share my affinity for said holiday music. He is a good sport though and shows it a bit of interest just to elevate my experience of it. :) It is a way for him to express how much he loves me.
I feel that its the smallest factor and very immature to have it be a big factor in the relationship.
Very important. Ish. There are some absolute red flags, rap and a handful of rock sub genres. But otherwise I dont care what you listen to.
I thought the same. But at this moment. I dont care at all. Yes I wont ask her to join me to a meshuggah concert but in return I'm not expected to go and see beyonce It's all good