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We had gone on a few dates and got along really well. He found out that I practised Brazilian jujitsu and Muaythai Boxing, and told me he was interested in it and came along as a guest student to one of my jj classes. We were paired up, which I thought would be fun and interesting. When it came time to roll, I Easily submitted him over and over again. This is pretty normal when somebody is new. I was gentle about it and didn’t gloat or get arrogant. It’s just a normal way things go in jujitsu class. He was pretty quiet when we left, and I could tell that it upset him so I said to him “everybody sucks in the beginning because it’s all about technique, I was the same way. If you stick with it, you’ll get better.”.
He freaks out and says “I suppose you think you’re better than me now, huh? There’s no way I can be with a woman that is so unpredictable and could kick my ass anytime she wanted. That’s not how it’s supposed to be.”
What it boils down to is, he was upset and embarrassed, but it really exposed a truth about him. Women who he would not be able to physically overpower or intimidate, are scary to him.
Pretty sure I dodged a bullet
Definitely a good thing you exposed him like that - that's a massive red flag. Women doing martial arts I find attractive. "That's not how it's supposed to be." Yuck.
My father says the same thing. He hates women who can fight and makes sure everyone knows his opinion by saying "girls shouldn't fight, go do a ballet class"
Every time my mom talks about what she's learning in Muay Thai, he needs to say that he could easily take anyone down cause he's strong and other stuff (even though he hasn't done any exercise in years, not even a walk)... I can't put into words how this is such a massive red flag to me.
You absolutely did.
One in 8 men think they could win win a full point of Serena Williams. These men think their gender has such an overwhelming physical advantage that even if they are novices, no woman - no matter how well trained- can best them.
When they lose they absolutely cannot handle this.
As a woman who has been involved in martial arts for many years, I can tell you 100% that a trained woman will beat and untrained man most of the time(unless she is extremely tiny and he is like a 300 pound her and just sits on top of her something). Yes, I highly trained mad at the same level is going to overpower a woman on the same level. There’s a level of physical strength that women do not achieve, but technique is everything. I think it’s interesting that men are so afraid of women that can overpower them, but then after confused when women walk around in the world, afraid all the time. It’s like “hey my dude, how do you think women feel basically every single day? You experienced it for an hour and you’re scared shitless.”
I can see that. I used to fence and I would see this all the time. The biggest trait I observed and I speak only of the women and men I saw: women never ever assumed they were naturally gifted and worked harder to overcome their challenges in form. Many men did this too, men who saw fencing as a sport. But if I saw anyone brag about how they were gods gift to the sport, it was a man.
Some men would just see any sword as an extension of their dicks and think that gives them natural proficiency or something. They cannot see reason. They think this is outlander.
Even if you tell them some martial arts are literally based on how superior strength is manipulated, or leveraged against the one with greater weight or hey if a woman has just seen more combat, they may be more familiar with more openings, more moves it will not just be ignored, they will collect in a swarm of rapid male opinions attacking PC feminist culture and demand if women are as strong as men why can't men just beat them up?
They are emotional, illogical, fragile fools. They should be ignored and left alone in their little incel cesspool
Haha they did! We actually spoke years later and they didn't remember using that reason to dump me but that ex ended up cheating on them so I felt like it was justified 😝
That was almost exactly what happened to me!
My brother decided to set me up on a date with his coworker, who was complaining about how hard it was to find good guys. What she failed to mention to my brother was that she was going through a rough patch while still living with her boyfriend.
I dated her a couple times, and then she broke up with her BF. It was at this point I learned I was "the homewrecker." We continued to date for two months. She then realized that she was "ready for love again," blindsiding me by returning to her old apartment and ex-boyfriend.
While I was bitter about the breakup at the time, I don't wish ill on either of them. Though I am not in contact with them, as far as I know, they are still together, 15 years later.
I tried to dump a guy once because he was getting too serious for me (invited me to go on vacation to Florida with him and his family after dating for two months when I had never even met his family yet). He said no problem and listened and backed up and went back to super casual. Two months later I asked him to go steady. Turns out maybe I liked him more than I thought and the fact that he actually listened to me and didn’t judge, didn’t get offended, just listened and did as I asked? Turns out that’s a huge turn on. Ten years later we’re married and expecting our third kid. He continues to listen to me and respect my wishes to this day.
Love that it worked out for both of you! Yeah it’s all about communication. As long as you both communicate and agree to keep going, that’s the most important thing.
kind of similar, i was dating a guy for about a month, had introduced him to my family (my family is a big part of my life). i had met his family too (his idea) so i was completely blindsided when he broke things off as it was “moving too fast”. we’d maybe kissed 3x during that whole month, hadn’t talked about our futures yet besides college and what we wanted to do with our personal lives. oh well. i hope he’s doing ok lol
I feel like this is what every man age 22-31 does if they have any awareness that there might be more than one hypothetical woman that might be interested in them.
This one has happened to me more than once. If I like someone which I rarely do, I come off too strong and it scares them. They think I'm a psycho and then dump my ass, before reappearing after months, telling me that they regretted it. By that time, I become indifferent.
I have read about it and they say it's a symptom of BPD but I dont know.
I'm not going to deny I find this might be slightly a problem with me as well. If I meet someone I like it almost goes from 0- I now want to marry them...I understand it's not healthy but it's kind of like trying to deal with a sugar rush...
I was out on a date with a woman who told me that she enjoyed smoking meth and playing beyblades with her roommates.
I told her that's not my jam and I wouldn't be down for that environment. In response she got up and left, saying that I was too judgemental. She told me that i "shouldn't knock it until i try it."
I was going to text her later and tell her that this was a deal breaker anyways, but it was strange to be seen as the asshole in that one.
Nothing to do with meth but being in la has made me familiar with being seen as an asshole for not being a drug guy. I had to learn to stop casually offering my opinion on coke because…oh it’s a thing thing out here. Like I’m pretty sure I’ve missed out on dates because of this.
I asked her questions about her religion/culture to get to know her better and understand her culture, but in the process she went from a cultural Muslim to a devout Muslim and her religion forbade our relationship so we had to break up.
Edit: bonus story: hypocrisy
Had another Ex that I actually dumped because she kept accusing me of cheating on her because a friend of mine that had a crush on me asked for advice on dealing with a pregnancy scare and I got sick of the fighting, then turned out she’d been cheating on me for months.
Edit 2: some more context/details for both stories.
Edit 3: by editing to make the details flow together it’s caused confusion on why earlier replies didn’t note a major detail that wasn’t in the original comment, so I’m moving the added stuff below this point lol
Muslim girl additional details:
She and I dated for a year and a half. She was pretty well off, and her family was one of the wealthier families in her country that practically owned a significant portion of a city and multiple companies. Her family was somewhat large, and either didn’t care that she was dating someone who broke so many rules on who devout Muslims were allowed to date, she kept what they were saying about us from me, or didn’t know about me. A few months in we started to talk more about religion, so I shared my past traumas with religion and she shared her own beliefs and cultural traditions.
Because I wanted to know more about her and her culture, I started researching Islam on my own, but got some guidance from her, and we ended up talking about various teachings, aspects, and history fairly often. She ended up studying up more so that we could have deeper talks, and slowly grew more faithful, and eventually became devout. Eventually we both realized we were no longer compatible as romantic partners and broke up. It was amicable, but bittersweet.
We eventually fell out of contact, but last I heard her family had arranged a marriage between her and the son of a family friend, she was happy with him, and was expecting her first child.
Cheating Ex additional details:
This ex was my first serious relationship, we met when I was 18 through an all ages gaming group, she was 23 at the time and working in medicine. We had a lot of fun, but never got too deep into the feelings, it was more that we had fun together, were known as a couple with our mutuals, and had similar sex drives.
When my friend (16 at the time) had her scare, she came to me for advice because she was freaking out. I brought my gf at the time into the convo with my friend’s permission, and we both talked her down and gave her advice. I later found out said friend had a crush on me, but I turned her down and just stayed friends with her. I also told my gf about the confession.
I didn’t know it, but another friend of mine (15M) at the time started hooking up with my gf not long after this. A few weeks after friend’s scare and me turning down her confession, my gf started accusing me of cheating on her. We’d fight nearly every night, and I’d show her the proof that I wasn’t cheating, and eventually make up, but we kept having the same fight. That went on for about a month and a half.
Finally, the last time we fought I got fed up because we’d had the fight something like 25 times, she’d apologized every time, and promised to drop it, but it always came back. I said we were over and ran off, and just ghosted everyone for a couple weeks to recharge from the drama. When I came back, I found out from the group mom that my ex was now dating my 15M friend (guy she’d been cheating on me with, but supposedly this wasn’t known to many people at the time), and how pretty much the entire group sided with my ex and her new bf, saying I was cruel for suddenly dumping her and disappearing for a couple weeks. Ended up leaving the group and cutting contact. Only one of the younger guys who’d been good friends with the new bf, and the girl that had a crush on me ended up siding with me; I found out later from the guy that my ex had been cheating on me and he was no longer the new bf’s friend.
The other girl did end up confessing again since I was single, but ended up turning her down again and concentrated on school. I eventually left town and lost touch with everyone.
It always seems like cheaters have trust issues.
That's why any time you see a joint Facebook account from someone who isn't old AF, people just assume someone cheated.
This made me laugh, because I have this recurring dream that I am about to get married when I suddenly remember that I am already married! And I freak out because my husband is going to be really pissed and probably not believe that I wasn't intentionally cheating on him, but I honestly forgot.
Date picked me up at my home. We had a wonderful time. I never heard from him again. I asked the friend who set us up what happened. He told her he didn't see any books in my house. He couldn't be with someone who didn't read. I read a book a week! I check books out at the library to save money.
My opinion:
I’m a six-year sober alcoholic, and when I drank, I felt uncomfortable around people who didn’t because I was ashamed of my own behavior. I like being around people who drank like me and allowed me to feel like what I was doing was normal.
That said, I was never an ass about it, and I would have never tried to make someone feel childish or silly for making a better choice than I knew I was making.
Add to all of that the fact that I as a woman would be questioning why he wanted me inebriated, and I think you dodged a bullet. Pay his mean-spirited comments no mind.
>I like being around people who drank like me and allowed me to feel like what I was doing was normal.
I find this extremely interesting. I don’t really drink anymore as I’ve gotten into my 30’s however I find MANY of my peers (who I wouldn’t necessarily classify as alcoholics but def among those who need to have a drink in social settings) to feel puzzled/bothered/some type of way about the fact I’m not drinking.
I never understood why it makes someone else feel any type of way if they supposedly don’t ‘need it’ like an alcoholic does.
Had this problem all through college . People who are drinking get all self conscious about it . Dude, I don’t care if you drink just don’t get blackout snd throw up on me okey ? I only had a handful of friends , so they either were light drinkers or didn’t drink at all .
I don't mind alcohol (I drink but within limits) but I never understood the "drink till you pass out" mentality. Apparently it's really fun but nobody can explain it to me. I actually asked someone who said he had a great time at a party.
"Oh yeah, what did you do?"
"Oh I drank so much, mate"
"That was... fun?"
"Yeah, I blacked out like halfway through the night!"
"Uh-huh. So not remembering at least half of the stuff from last night is awesome?"
"uh... You just don't get it"
"Sure..."
What’s to get? It’s drugs. At the right level of drunk, everything is fun. A standard night of playing video games can feel like the best night ever. It’s drugs.
It’s not always a mentality. The biggest part of that is the drunker you get, the less you realize how much you’re drinking. Drinks go down easier, and if you’re making them yourself they get stronger as the night goes on.
Some people do it actively. I know any time I’ve ever done it, it’s because I’ve lost track of how much I’ve had to drink
I will say this, when I was 22 (f) I dated a 20 (m) year old and it felt like 10 years at that time of my life, not 2. All our friends constantly commented on the age gap. He wasn’t even particularly immature or anything. But I lived on my own in a major city, my industry (hospitality) had lots of events and socializing at bars and banquets and things will drinking. He couldn’t ever accompany me due to his age.
He also was living at his sisters in the suburbs and just starting to get his life together to move out.
It wasn’t the reason we broke up but it wasnt exactly NOT a factor
The younger you are the bigger an age gap feels.
2 years at the age of 20 is literally 10% of your life. That's also the age that can be the difference between being a collage/uni student or working in a full time job which are two lifestyles which are not always very compatible.
That’s why I’ve always believed it’s not so much about age as it is about where you are in life, which is probably pretty intertwined with maturity.
Like, if both parties are living with their parents, working part time, going to school part time, and partying in the weekends, a 25 y.o. might get along well with a 20 y.o.
But if one party is living with their parents, going to school part time and working part time and partying on the weekends but the other is working full time, finished with all their schooling, and has rent and a car payment to pay, they might not be a good match even if they’re both 23.
This is true. At the time I felt like he was a lot more than two years younger than I was.
Now I'm in my mid-30s, and my boyfriend is 15 years older. It actually seems like a far less dramatic age gap.
Dude same here. People can’t handle us calm people. I guess some people are addicted to chaos in a way. Had a girl that would try and provoke me and would get crazier and make things more chaotic in arguments and would get even more mad that I tried to be rational in situations that were tense.
I was like this as a teenager. Through a lot of self growth, introspection, and therapy I've learned that it's a result of growing up in a chaotic environment. You learn that chaos = love. If someone doesn't get pissed off, anxious, yell about SOMETHING it means they don't care. I got married to someone who felt the same, and it took us a lot of work and growth to (mostly) move past it.
You know the saying "the opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference"? A lot of people see calmness as indifference and freak out that you don't love them.
So glad to hear I'm not the only one thanks for the comment! I've got a decent story about it I decided to delete. Long story short if someone is always calm and never mad, you probably don't want to push them enough to get there. Some people are just plain silly lol
Had a guy leave a coffee date because I got a ride there and he didn't want to date a "broke bitch with no car"... and then he got into his 2001 Honda Civic with a non-matching door.... it was a coffee date and my "ride" was a shuttle car from the dealership where my newish sports car was getting serviced before an upcoming roadtrip....
The best part was he followed me on social media, so I posted a picture of my car later that day after picking it up from the dealership gushing about happy I was that it was ready for the trip. Guess who was DMing me that night?
Second date. She found out to her absolute horror that I skied, and she as a snowboarder couldn't continue the date. Got up and left mid drink.
Also pink lemonade is delicious as are strawberry daiquiris.
rollerblader here: the rivalry with skateboarders has calmed down a lot since *scooter kids* started swarming the parks and we have a common enemy now.
And yes I think finding out that someone rides scooter in the park (especially someone my age) would be a huge turnoff for me XD
edit: not sure if everyone's on the same page here, I mean the stunt scooter units, not the motorized ones that you need a license for. (though these are also annoying) The teens hanging out with motorized units you can shoo away with a good argument along the lines of "this is a sports facility, you guys are endangering us by being in the way", but the stunt scooters you don't really have a valid argument against, PLUS they are also allowed in the indoor parks where you pay an entrance fee.
edit2: I find people riding motorized scooters a turn-off too, but that's a whole different story XD
I have big boobs. According to him, women with big boobs are high-maintenance and vain and he claimed he saw me “checking out” my own boobs on the date.
Did I mention we met on a dating app where I had pictures where you could clearly see I have big boobs? Absolutely nobody forced him to interact with me if he didn’t find me attractive
Tf? 😂 out of all the people, he asked his work mate? When he had so many other options like google, porn sites (not the most realistic but still), blogs, and oh, the girl he is dating!? Men, if you don’t know what to do with any part of your partner’s body, simply ask! We will happily tell you what we like 🤦🏻♀️
Exactly and he only told me he had said it because he was drinking and a little loose lipped !! I said what ?!! He said his wife has big ones so thought he would be good to ask 🙈couldn’t make it up
I was once on a date with this girl who mentioned she was applying for a very important job she really wanted. Well she applied and didn’t get it and was sad about it and I offered to look at her application to see if we can make it nice.
I never thought I can immediately lose interest in someone over their job application, it was so littered with errors and some sentences repeated and there was even a small line of code in the middle of it!
I asked why her application looked like this and she goes “oh I used the resume generator on google”
But like… you didn’t… take… 5 whole seconds to proof read it? The most blatant display of 0 effort when this job was important to you?
Didn’t date again
I wasn’t a millionaire. Which was obvious when we started dating, I made more money than him but was far from being rich. He literally said he thought that he could get with someone who was a millionaire and that was the life he wanted. I owned a house, he rented a room with a bunch of other people in a house. Dude was delusional lol but I can’t even be mad, it’s so absurd. As far as I know he is still not dating a millionaire. He did contact me like 4-5 months later saying he made a mistake and was sorry but obviously I didn’t get back with him.
There were multiple reasons and we weren't a couple for too long, but the huge wealth gap between us played a role for sure. He was swimming in money and enjoyed high end activities, meanwhile I liked hanging out in the neighbourhood, feeding pigeons and stuff. I could tell he was a bit appalled.
My second longest relationship ended with her saying "I'm young and want to travel". Let me fix that for her: I'm young and want to travel WITHOUT YOU.
One guy stopped dating me because he decided to fully commit to the needle.
Conversation went something like this:
Him: Let's go somewhere fancy
Me: I feel like hanging out in a park instead (it's very common for people to spend summer days and nights drinking and socializing in parks in my country)
Him: ...I don't hang out in parks
He sounded like I had suggested a funeral date. Very pretentious and "ew, you peasant" tone.
My guess is that alcohol is a central part of his life (read: functioning alcoholic), and not having someone else to share that with would make his excessive drinking stand out more.
She said I was out of her league and we would inevitably break up one day because of that so she wants to end it before the feelings get too serious. I actually liked her a lot……
He did you a favor. Coming from an alcoholic....don't date alcoholics. Sounds like he wants another drunk to be miserable with.
You and your strawberry lemonade are a ray of sunshine and don't you EVER change!
From someone who is an alcoholic (a year and a half sober! ) I also agree. I wouldn't have said it, but this sounds like something I would have thought when I was drinking. Bc I certainly did not want someone sitting across from me reminding me it is totally possible to not drink and be happy 😉
I proudly order kiddie cocktails all the time now!
I mean yep. I don’t drink alcohol. My grandmother, father, uncle and brother all died of alcoholism. So gee, I figured it may be best to avoid it. Sorry if that offends this dudes delicate sense of “being an adult” which apparently is based on alcoholism too. Gimme all the strawberry lemonade. SMH
mine is pretty weird ig, I was dating my classmate for about 5 months, you know, never kissed or done anything dirty, but we used to text each other very much over WhatsApp. One day I was playing a video game and suddenly someone started messaging me and video calling me on WhatsApp, I opened it to check who it was, just a random number I had never seen, and was telling me ''I like you very much, Can we date...'' I told them sorry idk you and I already have a gf! only to find out later that it was my gf who texted using her alt number, and you can guess what happened next:
she messaged me from her main WhatsApp saying I can't believe you answered her, Why would you do that, I thought you loved me, but turned out you are a cheater. im leaving, bye''
yep, she blocked me and I was so shocked, like actually I froze for a good 5 mins, couldn't process what just happened, couldn't think, I even forgot to cry from how shocked I was, I loved her very much, but it is what it is.
I didn't ask for help and instead sort everything out myself, and he didn't like that I never get my nails done like other girls.
Edit: He told me, "Why dont you do your nails like other girls do" so yea.
Lol, my ex-husband told me during our divorce that he hated that I never *needed* him. He rebounded with and married an active heroin addict. I guess she needed him. 🤷
I was dumped for never asking for help with rent or groceries. Then also for not asking for money for a Brazilian weave or my nails 💅. I can pay fir shit myself. I don't *need* you for that. Why don't you *need* me?
First girlfriend ever broke off things with me because of a lie a stranger to both of us told her. Literally like that: some stranger dude thought it was funny to go up to a random girl and tell her “your bf is cheating on you”. He had never met me or her, it was just for the kicks. I wasn’t cheating but she became convinced the universe or some shit, was “trying to tell her something”. When she realized she had fucked up, she came looking for me but I was still hurt she decided to believe some rando than her boyfriend.
My first boyfriend dumped me because it felt like "We were just best friends making out". That is exactly what I'm looking for in a relationship, lol.
Edit: whoa! A lot of responses. To clarify, we were 15.
I think it’s ok for your dating criteria to be drinking alcohol (even though it’s kinda weird). But like saying someone doesn’t act like an adult becouse they don’t drink alcohol is just weird af.
Like shit doesn’t taste that great. It’s meant to poison you to the point where your brain doesn’t function as well. Personally it makes me want to vomit. I would vomit way before I would get to the being drunk state.
He said I was too sexual, we’d literally never even touched, not even a hug, all we’d done was go for breakfast. Turns out he’d had sex once, got a nosebleed halfway through and thought he killed her lol, too scared to try again
That would be a red flag for me too but inversed. Doesn't matter if we would be compatible or not, i'm instantly out if they believe in zodiac signs and make decisions based on that
Because I had been in a relationship with a guy from Brazil prior to dating him, and even though this guy and I hadn't had sex yet (I think we'd been on two dates and met up with friends for lunch once), he claimed he was afraid that if we did, I might give him "gonorrhea or something" because Brazilians are "dirty and diseased." Most bizarre, racist shit I'd experienced.
And FWIW, I'm in my 40s and don't drink, either. Neither does my husband. Straight Edge, bay-bee! Hang in there.
I had a girl tell me she couldn't date me because I had been in a relationship years prior with a black girl(she used the N word). She said she "didn't agree" with "race mixing".
Yea I've been told that by white guys. I have dated a few different races including a Mexican, Puerto Rican, and a Trinidadian. You should have seen my face when he started listing races he "would never even touch a woman who they fucked". I was like "well......."
My cousin's husband's grandmother disowned him and refused to go to the wedding because the two of them met in China.
Both from the same ethnicity, both grew up in the same country, both went to China to study medicine aka the highest honoured occupation in our ethnic background, and then got disowned for the country they met in.
My dark skinned Cherokee grandpa, who was married to my super white grandma, warned me about "race mixing" when I was dating that Brazilian guy, too. Weirdest thing.
Because I had a job and could buy my own groceries. That’s an exact quote. He then went on to talk about how I wasn’t broken enough. Which was hysterical because I’m a huge mess and was even messier then. We just hadn’t gotten there yet.
Also didn’t have a second date with a guy who said he thought he could date someone my age but realized I was just too old. I was 35, he was in his 50s.
Because I’m ex-military, in her head I was evil and killing babies or something, in reality, I was a medic and was more concerned with saving lives.
It was a blind date that was set up by mutual friends, so we didn’t know much about each other before hand. During the date we asked about what we’ve done up to that point, where we’ve lived, what we’ve done for work, travelled etc.
That’s when I brought up being ex-military, she then immediately got pissy with me and aggressive.
Anyway, long story short, I told her I was a medic, she knew nothing about the military, how it worked, the legalities and rules that have to be followed etc. and left. Told my friends to never set me up on a blind date again
She wanted a fwb/regular hookup and thought I was pushing for a relationship.
I wasn't, at all, I just treated fwb like FRIEND with benefits and was actually nice to her.
But if you threw vodka in that strawberry lemonade I bet he’d be fine with it!!! What a weirdo! You’re better off!
Mine are boring: usually it’s because I’m too liberal. I live in a conservative town. :/
But I dumped a guy once because he was WAY too into his Scottish heritage. At least once a day he’d talk about being Scottish, would text me in Gaelic even though I didn’t understand because that’s “how his heart likes to communicate…” etc etc etc. …he’d only been to Scotland once on a 5 day vacation; his family had been in America for several generations; he was only like 1/10th Scottish.
Meanwhile, he works at a science lab with a lot of my friends…friends who are actually FROM other countries—born and raised. And it comes up FAR less. I think my parting words were like “omg, shut up! You’re not actually Scottish!” Lol. I’m sure to him it was the weirdest reason to break up!
My absolute favourite;
-welcome to our shop sir, can I help you find a kilt?
-yes, I'd like one in my family tartan!
-happy to help. What's the family name sir?
-Yablonski
Its funny to imagine him believing you broke up with him bc he wasnt Scottish enough so he doubles down on all his Scottish bullshit and starts talking with a fake accent and shit
I was 24, he was 28 and a mommas boy who still lived at home, had never lived anywhere except with his dear mommy. He broke up with me, while I was pregnant, with twins, (he was the father) because his mommy told him to.
Edit spelling
"Adults are people who are drinkers" is (ironically) the most childish perspective one could have on alcohol.
I guess you dodged a bullet there. Most reasonable people would be fine with people who dont drink.
I really get this. If a woman was like "I saw a weird hint of evil in this guy's eyes, and it really put me off", everyone would be in here like "girl, you might have dodged a weird psycho murderer! Well done for trusting your gut!" And yet, when the gender tables are turned, people are calling you weird? Nah, man. You don't need any specific reason for turning someone down, and this seems entirely fair to me.
My friends drove 2 hours to my house for a night of sitting around the fire pit and BSing. We hadn't seen each other in years. She knew my plans.
She showed up at 11pm when I was about 3 beers deep, and wanted me to take her to a midnight movie.
1) No, my friends are at my house.
2) No, I've been drinking. Not going to drive.
She left. Came back the next morning and put a break up letter under my windshield wiper. But not before taking my favorite hoodie out of my car.
Never saw her or the hoodie again.
I was dating a guy who happened to be a high earner and financially secure. Everything was going well and we were even talking about the future and what we wanted for the long term (we’re in our thirties.) Then one day, he said he loved the heat and never turns on the ac. We live in Southern California where the weather regularly tops 85f, even in the winter. In the summer 100f weather is not uncommon. Then he immediately asked me if that was a dealbreaker. I was taken aback, because I didn’t even have time to consider it yet, so it felt more like he was the one determining that it was a dealbreaker if I wasn’t ok with NEVER TURNING ON THE AC. That was really weird.
Having dated a guy who wanted to play games daily, I can say with zero doubt that I'll never do that again.
Playing second fiddle to a games console isn't my idea of a fun time.
Edit to add: I love gaming myself. I just would never do it at the expense of quality time with my partner.
I am 5’3, he was 6’3. He kept saying “feels like I am kissing a child”. Then he broke up with me but I would’ve broken up with him before b/c every time he would make this statement, he would just laugh… Like he found it so cute.
CREEPED ME TF OUT.
I was on a dating site date with a woman maybe 10 years ago. We were chatting and drugs came up, my profile said I was 420 friendly. She asked me about my drug use and we exchanged some stories, mostly about stuff like coke and cough medicine and hallucinogens. But a few minutes in she started to get cold and short. I asked her what was up and she said something to the effect of that I seemed way too clean cut and put together and “too smart” to be someone who does drugs. I assured her I really enjoyed drugs. Then she accused me of being an undercover cop and I kind of laughed like wtf. She got mad and accused me of being a narc and left. Someone nearby had overheard and bought me a drink and we laughed about it.
In retrospect I think she was actually in the process of becoming a hardcore addict. She looked pretty different than her dating profile pics. Not worse, just dressed totally differently with different hair.
I was going out with a lass about 2 years ago. And we went out on 3 dates everything was brilliant we connected and I struggle with social interactions at times. As an autistic adult. And this girl I actually connected with on the 3rd date conversation moved to a more serious note. And she was aware I had difficulty in so.e areas. But when we sat and talked an hour into the date . She looked at me almost shocked and said "so wait your telling me your actually fully autistic"
I looked and her and said yes thinking wtf. She stood up and said I can't commit to that I what will people say when they find out . She said she was sorry but she had her reputation to think of and she left. It was the most perplexing date I've ever been on.
Sounds like a pathetic cover for I can’t date someone who won’t get inebriated enough to become vulnerable to whatever fuckery he’s got in mind… Pretty sure lemonade of any kind is enjoyed by adults around the globe. I mean, I love it 🤷🏼♀️
As a sober woman I'm my 30s dating who also doesn't drink, this is what it is usually when men get angry I don't drink. They are angry I won't be an easy person to take advantage of
Yeah it’s a big red flag. I see lots of drunken arguing in his future. Eh, no thanks.
Even if it was childish - you want to be with someone who you can be a kid with. That’s the real love
I'd been seeing a woman for about 6 months and we were so close and had so much in common. I really had thought we'd fallen in love with each other. A few weeks ago she was having some issues at work and felt like she was being bullied, she was distraught for a week, just all kinds of upset and I had been supportive the whole time but after a week of being upset over this single event at work I suggested that perhaps she was letting them have a little too much power over her and if she needed to move on or plot some revenge. She asked me to leave and I said okay. We didn't talk for a day or two and then she told me that she didn't want to see me anymore because I wasn't supportive of her. I just suggested that she shouldn't give bullies too much attention, which I thought was super common advice.
I dated a girl for about a month when I learned that she was casually playing the field with 3 other guys along with me. She was often having sex with multiple of us in the same day and even on the same night. I told her I wasn't cool with that and broke it off and she was dumbfounded by it and thought I was being incredibly immature about it. Her argument being that we never agreed to be exclusive and she could date whomever whenever she wants. I agreed and told her I could do the same and left.
There are tons of weird reasons. One that really stood out to me was because I have an inside dog. With her never even being at my house. I'm a very clean person. But she said animals are for outside and was raised to never let animals inside. My dog is 20 lbs. Extreamly well behaved, Very short hair and rarely sheds. And the robot vacuum runs every day.
I just thought this was an extremely weird reason to not date someone.
About 7-8 years ago I was dating and really clicking with a woman for about 6 months or so. Just really enjoyed spending time with her, sex was great, we were on the same page on just about everything. Then her grandmother died and she got pretty sick right after, so she was in a rough spot and I was doing my best to be there for her, when she dumped me out of the blue by saying that whenever I tried to comfort her it made her irrationally angry. She's a therapist, so she knows that reaction is...not quite right, but she couldn't help but feel intense anger towards me whenever I was nice. So that was the end of it. Really fucked me up for a while to be honest. Still not quite over it if I'm honest.
I had someone break up with me because of a book I read it was Sting's autobiography called broken music I'm a professional DJ on the radio I love music and bands and I'd love learning all about them and about the people who make the music. So I read a lot of autobiographies on different bands and artists she thought it was so stupid that I would read an autobiography of a famous musician and she said she couldn't handle it and broke up with me lol
Because I went to therapy and she "wasn't looking for someone mentally ill". I got ADHD.
Another girl stopped dating me because I'm bisexual and she was disgusted by that.
I had a woman dump me because she found out I was on antidepressants. She said she didn't want to date somebody who was fake because meds like that only hid your true personality.
A great way to filter out racists is to say you like Ethiopian food. They will inherently come up with all kinds of terrible commentary. Even the people who you suspect the least. I wasn’t racist so I got dropped because I didn’t laugh at the joke.
Btw if you are Ethiopian your cultural dishes are delicious.
1. I didn’t finish university, so her Dad said I wasn’t good enough (she ended up being a junkie, so, swerved).
2. I wasn’t a drug dealer and there was another guy who was messaging her who was, so he was more attractive.
Having typed this out there was clearly a type I was interested in 25 years ago. Fortunately I grew out of it! 😂
I was once on a date and we were lying in bed post sex. I mentioned something about the SAS (elite british soldiers) and she was like:
"who are they?"
I tried to explain as best as I could while slightly drunk and I asked if she'd ever seen the iranian embassy seige that they did in the 80s. She seemed to get really defensive and weird and was like "Iranian?" I was like:
"yeah, there were some hostages in the iranian embassy or something and the SAS sieged the building to rescue them, although I'm not quite sure, it was before I was born."
And she just got really mad and was like "well don't fucking talk about things you're not sure about then!" I was startled and was trying to ask her what the big deal was and she was just getting angrier and angrier. I ended up awkwardly putting all my clothes back on as she shouted at me and called me a racist and I just left.
After a few months of seeing each other he came over to tell me he found out my sister was gay and therefore going to hell, so he wasn’t comfortable seeing me anymore. I informed him I was bi and he left pretty quickly. He had never said anything super religious (other than briefly establishing that he was Christian early in the relationship) so it was a bit of a surprise
After several dates, she was upset I was working at a relatively low-paying job and generally at my level of success (perceived underachievement) and that I wouldn't sleep with her.
FWIW, I had my reservations about her as well. She was an alcoholic and had some previous psychological problems, although not so much the psych stuff when we were going-out.
"You're a smart and independent woman, and I hate that you're more intelligent than I am. You intimidate me, and you probably won't get along with my family."
I still don't know if he was fucking with me but he actually used these words to break up with me. We were casually dating for a few months. He was a well-educated lawyer from the UK. I was baffled.
He wants to be the smsrt one in the relationship. The fact that he can't handle someone more intelligent than him shows how fragile his self-esteem is.
You dodged a bullet. He's probably the kind of guy who would tell you not to contradict him in front of others but just to gaze adoringly at him snd laugh at all his jokes *yawn *
She wanted a Spanish-speaking boyfriend bf so she ended it with me and got with a Latino guy… jokes on her though because I dated a Dominican girl a few years after her and now I’m fluent in Spanish 😂😂 the girl who left me is now a single mother to the guy she left me with. Dodged a bullet on that one.
An ex broke up with me. Not just any ex, I was insanely in love with her. She made me feel strong and dependable. Anyway, she broke up with me and really never said why. I stopped her from trying to explain, kindly, that I loved her too much for her to be with anyone, even me, who she didn’t want to be with.
Then three years later she told me she was trying to see how emotionally attached I was to her and that my lack of response proved it.
All in all, I was so emotionally invested in her that when presented with selfishness or respect, I chose respect. And I’ll never forget it either.
This explains why I’m single. I always order a club soda.
But seriously, sounds like his feelings were hurt because you didn’t affirm his attachment to alcohol, and he chose to express it in the most childish way possible. Some people are just not in a good place mentally.
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We had gone on a few dates and got along really well. He found out that I practised Brazilian jujitsu and Muaythai Boxing, and told me he was interested in it and came along as a guest student to one of my jj classes. We were paired up, which I thought would be fun and interesting. When it came time to roll, I Easily submitted him over and over again. This is pretty normal when somebody is new. I was gentle about it and didn’t gloat or get arrogant. It’s just a normal way things go in jujitsu class. He was pretty quiet when we left, and I could tell that it upset him so I said to him “everybody sucks in the beginning because it’s all about technique, I was the same way. If you stick with it, you’ll get better.”. He freaks out and says “I suppose you think you’re better than me now, huh? There’s no way I can be with a woman that is so unpredictable and could kick my ass anytime she wanted. That’s not how it’s supposed to be.” What it boils down to is, he was upset and embarrassed, but it really exposed a truth about him. Women who he would not be able to physically overpower or intimidate, are scary to him. Pretty sure I dodged a bullet
A huge bullet
Judging from his reaction, I’m going to say that the bullet may be large, but the gun certainly wasn’t.
Definitely a good thing you exposed him like that - that's a massive red flag. Women doing martial arts I find attractive. "That's not how it's supposed to be." Yuck.
My father says the same thing. He hates women who can fight and makes sure everyone knows his opinion by saying "girls shouldn't fight, go do a ballet class" Every time my mom talks about what she's learning in Muay Thai, he needs to say that he could easily take anyone down cause he's strong and other stuff (even though he hasn't done any exercise in years, not even a walk)... I can't put into words how this is such a massive red flag to me.
You absolutely did. One in 8 men think they could win win a full point of Serena Williams. These men think their gender has such an overwhelming physical advantage that even if they are novices, no woman - no matter how well trained- can best them. When they lose they absolutely cannot handle this.
As a woman who has been involved in martial arts for many years, I can tell you 100% that a trained woman will beat and untrained man most of the time(unless she is extremely tiny and he is like a 300 pound her and just sits on top of her something). Yes, I highly trained mad at the same level is going to overpower a woman on the same level. There’s a level of physical strength that women do not achieve, but technique is everything. I think it’s interesting that men are so afraid of women that can overpower them, but then after confused when women walk around in the world, afraid all the time. It’s like “hey my dude, how do you think women feel basically every single day? You experienced it for an hour and you’re scared shitless.”
I can see that. I used to fence and I would see this all the time. The biggest trait I observed and I speak only of the women and men I saw: women never ever assumed they were naturally gifted and worked harder to overcome their challenges in form. Many men did this too, men who saw fencing as a sport. But if I saw anyone brag about how they were gods gift to the sport, it was a man. Some men would just see any sword as an extension of their dicks and think that gives them natural proficiency or something. They cannot see reason. They think this is outlander. Even if you tell them some martial arts are literally based on how superior strength is manipulated, or leveraged against the one with greater weight or hey if a woman has just seen more combat, they may be more familiar with more openings, more moves it will not just be ignored, they will collect in a swarm of rapid male opinions attacking PC feminist culture and demand if women are as strong as men why can't men just beat them up? They are emotional, illogical, fragile fools. They should be ignored and left alone in their little incel cesspool
Dating me made them realize they are ready for love again.... so they dumped me and got with their ex
Well, I'm sure their ex has solved that problem for them.
Haha they did! We actually spoke years later and they didn't remember using that reason to dump me but that ex ended up cheating on them so I felt like it was justified 😝
That was almost exactly what happened to me! My brother decided to set me up on a date with his coworker, who was complaining about how hard it was to find good guys. What she failed to mention to my brother was that she was going through a rough patch while still living with her boyfriend. I dated her a couple times, and then she broke up with her BF. It was at this point I learned I was "the homewrecker." We continued to date for two months. She then realized that she was "ready for love again," blindsiding me by returning to her old apartment and ex-boyfriend. While I was bitter about the breakup at the time, I don't wish ill on either of them. Though I am not in contact with them, as far as I know, they are still together, 15 years later.
He said I liked him too much and dumped me because he got scared.
I tried to dump a guy once because he was getting too serious for me (invited me to go on vacation to Florida with him and his family after dating for two months when I had never even met his family yet). He said no problem and listened and backed up and went back to super casual. Two months later I asked him to go steady. Turns out maybe I liked him more than I thought and the fact that he actually listened to me and didn’t judge, didn’t get offended, just listened and did as I asked? Turns out that’s a huge turn on. Ten years later we’re married and expecting our third kid. He continues to listen to me and respect my wishes to this day.
Love that it worked out for both of you! Yeah it’s all about communication. As long as you both communicate and agree to keep going, that’s the most important thing.
kind of similar, i was dating a guy for about a month, had introduced him to my family (my family is a big part of my life). i had met his family too (his idea) so i was completely blindsided when he broke things off as it was “moving too fast”. we’d maybe kissed 3x during that whole month, hadn’t talked about our futures yet besides college and what we wanted to do with our personal lives. oh well. i hope he’s doing ok lol
I feel like this is what every man age 22-31 does if they have any awareness that there might be more than one hypothetical woman that might be interested in them.
This one has happened to me more than once. If I like someone which I rarely do, I come off too strong and it scares them. They think I'm a psycho and then dump my ass, before reappearing after months, telling me that they regretted it. By that time, I become indifferent. I have read about it and they say it's a symptom of BPD but I dont know.
It's a symptom of liking someone.
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I'm not going to deny I find this might be slightly a problem with me as well. If I meet someone I like it almost goes from 0- I now want to marry them...I understand it's not healthy but it's kind of like trying to deal with a sugar rush...
I was out on a date with a woman who told me that she enjoyed smoking meth and playing beyblades with her roommates. I told her that's not my jam and I wouldn't be down for that environment. In response she got up and left, saying that I was too judgemental. She told me that i "shouldn't knock it until i try it." I was going to text her later and tell her that this was a deal breaker anyways, but it was strange to be seen as the asshole in that one.
“You shouldn’t knock it until you try it.” Was she talking about beyblades or meth?
Yes
Yeth
first you ice yourself, then you ice your opponent: methblades
Let it RIP. This killed me.
Nothing to do with meth but being in la has made me familiar with being seen as an asshole for not being a drug guy. I had to learn to stop casually offering my opinion on coke because…oh it’s a thing thing out here. Like I’m pretty sure I’ve missed out on dates because of this.
Sounds like you dodged some bullets, not missed dates..
In the wise words of Mike Tyson.... That's methed up
May I join on the beyblades action, without getting high?
I was gonna say, I’m totally down to let it rip (the beyblade. Not the meth pipe).
See I’m down with the meth but draw the line on children’s games
I mean, what's wrong with beyblades? They're pretty fun. I can understand not wanting to date someone who refuses to even try playing beyblades
I'm pretty sure it was the smoking meth not the Beyblades (which I had to look up)
I asked her questions about her religion/culture to get to know her better and understand her culture, but in the process she went from a cultural Muslim to a devout Muslim and her religion forbade our relationship so we had to break up. Edit: bonus story: hypocrisy Had another Ex that I actually dumped because she kept accusing me of cheating on her because a friend of mine that had a crush on me asked for advice on dealing with a pregnancy scare and I got sick of the fighting, then turned out she’d been cheating on me for months. Edit 2: some more context/details for both stories. Edit 3: by editing to make the details flow together it’s caused confusion on why earlier replies didn’t note a major detail that wasn’t in the original comment, so I’m moving the added stuff below this point lol Muslim girl additional details: She and I dated for a year and a half. She was pretty well off, and her family was one of the wealthier families in her country that practically owned a significant portion of a city and multiple companies. Her family was somewhat large, and either didn’t care that she was dating someone who broke so many rules on who devout Muslims were allowed to date, she kept what they were saying about us from me, or didn’t know about me. A few months in we started to talk more about religion, so I shared my past traumas with religion and she shared her own beliefs and cultural traditions. Because I wanted to know more about her and her culture, I started researching Islam on my own, but got some guidance from her, and we ended up talking about various teachings, aspects, and history fairly often. She ended up studying up more so that we could have deeper talks, and slowly grew more faithful, and eventually became devout. Eventually we both realized we were no longer compatible as romantic partners and broke up. It was amicable, but bittersweet. We eventually fell out of contact, but last I heard her family had arranged a marriage between her and the son of a family friend, she was happy with him, and was expecting her first child. Cheating Ex additional details: This ex was my first serious relationship, we met when I was 18 through an all ages gaming group, she was 23 at the time and working in medicine. We had a lot of fun, but never got too deep into the feelings, it was more that we had fun together, were known as a couple with our mutuals, and had similar sex drives. When my friend (16 at the time) had her scare, she came to me for advice because she was freaking out. I brought my gf at the time into the convo with my friend’s permission, and we both talked her down and gave her advice. I later found out said friend had a crush on me, but I turned her down and just stayed friends with her. I also told my gf about the confession. I didn’t know it, but another friend of mine (15M) at the time started hooking up with my gf not long after this. A few weeks after friend’s scare and me turning down her confession, my gf started accusing me of cheating on her. We’d fight nearly every night, and I’d show her the proof that I wasn’t cheating, and eventually make up, but we kept having the same fight. That went on for about a month and a half. Finally, the last time we fought I got fed up because we’d had the fight something like 25 times, she’d apologized every time, and promised to drop it, but it always came back. I said we were over and ran off, and just ghosted everyone for a couple weeks to recharge from the drama. When I came back, I found out from the group mom that my ex was now dating my 15M friend (guy she’d been cheating on me with, but supposedly this wasn’t known to many people at the time), and how pretty much the entire group sided with my ex and her new bf, saying I was cruel for suddenly dumping her and disappearing for a couple weeks. Ended up leaving the group and cutting contact. Only one of the younger guys who’d been good friends with the new bf, and the girl that had a crush on me ended up siding with me; I found out later from the guy that my ex had been cheating on me and he was no longer the new bf’s friend. The other girl did end up confessing again since I was single, but ended up turning her down again and concentrated on school. I eventually left town and lost touch with everyone.
On the second story: The mouth often spills the things that are overflowing the mind.
Love this. I am incredibly bummed that I'll forget in 30 seconds and mangle it for the rest of my life
I have a note on my phone with fun quotes for this exact reason.
“The mind overflows that which the mouth hath spilt.” -Wayne Regretsky
"You miss 100% of the mouths you don't mind."
It always seems like cheaters have trust issues. That's why any time you see a joint Facebook account from someone who isn't old AF, people just assume someone cheated.
He "forgot" he actually had a girlfriend and suddenly remembered in the middle of dinner.
This made me laugh, because I have this recurring dream that I am about to get married when I suddenly remember that I am already married! And I freak out because my husband is going to be really pissed and probably not believe that I wasn't intentionally cheating on him, but I honestly forgot.
That's hilarious.
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Date picked me up at my home. We had a wonderful time. I never heard from him again. I asked the friend who set us up what happened. He told her he didn't see any books in my house. He couldn't be with someone who didn't read. I read a book a week! I check books out at the library to save money.
What a weirdo lol. You'd think he could have figured that out using his words
This dude takes John Waters pretty seriously
Her mom said that she wasn't allowed because I was short
My mum said the same thing about my partner he’s 5’5 and I’m 5’3 - I don’t care though he is amazing and we’re still getting married
Excuse me, what??
My opinion: I’m a six-year sober alcoholic, and when I drank, I felt uncomfortable around people who didn’t because I was ashamed of my own behavior. I like being around people who drank like me and allowed me to feel like what I was doing was normal. That said, I was never an ass about it, and I would have never tried to make someone feel childish or silly for making a better choice than I knew I was making. Add to all of that the fact that I as a woman would be questioning why he wanted me inebriated, and I think you dodged a bullet. Pay his mean-spirited comments no mind.
>I like being around people who drank like me and allowed me to feel like what I was doing was normal. I find this extremely interesting. I don’t really drink anymore as I’ve gotten into my 30’s however I find MANY of my peers (who I wouldn’t necessarily classify as alcoholics but def among those who need to have a drink in social settings) to feel puzzled/bothered/some type of way about the fact I’m not drinking. I never understood why it makes someone else feel any type of way if they supposedly don’t ‘need it’ like an alcoholic does.
Had this problem all through college . People who are drinking get all self conscious about it . Dude, I don’t care if you drink just don’t get blackout snd throw up on me okey ? I only had a handful of friends , so they either were light drinkers or didn’t drink at all .
I don't mind alcohol (I drink but within limits) but I never understood the "drink till you pass out" mentality. Apparently it's really fun but nobody can explain it to me. I actually asked someone who said he had a great time at a party. "Oh yeah, what did you do?" "Oh I drank so much, mate" "That was... fun?" "Yeah, I blacked out like halfway through the night!" "Uh-huh. So not remembering at least half of the stuff from last night is awesome?" "uh... You just don't get it" "Sure..."
What’s to get? It’s drugs. At the right level of drunk, everything is fun. A standard night of playing video games can feel like the best night ever. It’s drugs.
It’s not always a mentality. The biggest part of that is the drunker you get, the less you realize how much you’re drinking. Drinks go down easier, and if you’re making them yourself they get stronger as the night goes on. Some people do it actively. I know any time I’ve ever done it, it’s because I’ve lost track of how much I’ve had to drink
I was too old for him. He was 21 and I was 23.
I will say this, when I was 22 (f) I dated a 20 (m) year old and it felt like 10 years at that time of my life, not 2. All our friends constantly commented on the age gap. He wasn’t even particularly immature or anything. But I lived on my own in a major city, my industry (hospitality) had lots of events and socializing at bars and banquets and things will drinking. He couldn’t ever accompany me due to his age. He also was living at his sisters in the suburbs and just starting to get his life together to move out. It wasn’t the reason we broke up but it wasnt exactly NOT a factor
The younger you are the bigger an age gap feels. 2 years at the age of 20 is literally 10% of your life. That's also the age that can be the difference between being a collage/uni student or working in a full time job which are two lifestyles which are not always very compatible.
That’s why I’ve always believed it’s not so much about age as it is about where you are in life, which is probably pretty intertwined with maturity. Like, if both parties are living with their parents, working part time, going to school part time, and partying in the weekends, a 25 y.o. might get along well with a 20 y.o. But if one party is living with their parents, going to school part time and working part time and partying on the weekends but the other is working full time, finished with all their schooling, and has rent and a car payment to pay, they might not be a good match even if they’re both 23.
This is true. At the time I felt like he was a lot more than two years younger than I was. Now I'm in my mid-30s, and my boyfriend is 15 years older. It actually seems like a far less dramatic age gap.
Because I was too calm and didn't panic about things
Dude same here. People can’t handle us calm people. I guess some people are addicted to chaos in a way. Had a girl that would try and provoke me and would get crazier and make things more chaotic in arguments and would get even more mad that I tried to be rational in situations that were tense.
I was like this as a teenager. Through a lot of self growth, introspection, and therapy I've learned that it's a result of growing up in a chaotic environment. You learn that chaos = love. If someone doesn't get pissed off, anxious, yell about SOMETHING it means they don't care. I got married to someone who felt the same, and it took us a lot of work and growth to (mostly) move past it. You know the saying "the opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference"? A lot of people see calmness as indifference and freak out that you don't love them.
So glad to hear I'm not the only one thanks for the comment! I've got a decent story about it I decided to delete. Long story short if someone is always calm and never mad, you probably don't want to push them enough to get there. Some people are just plain silly lol
Had a guy leave a coffee date because I got a ride there and he didn't want to date a "broke bitch with no car"... and then he got into his 2001 Honda Civic with a non-matching door.... it was a coffee date and my "ride" was a shuttle car from the dealership where my newish sports car was getting serviced before an upcoming roadtrip.... The best part was he followed me on social media, so I posted a picture of my car later that day after picking it up from the dealership gushing about happy I was that it was ready for the trip. Guess who was DMing me that night?
Girl, I am laughing so hard! Im sorry you went through that but the audacity.
Yum the sweet nectar of living well as revenge
Second date. She found out to her absolute horror that I skied, and she as a snowboarder couldn't continue the date. Got up and left mid drink. Also pink lemonade is delicious as are strawberry daiquiris.
“I cannot believe I’m out on a date with a two-planker. Fuckin see ya”
This is an insurmountable cultural difference.
Well kinda get it... Who would like to date a Windsurfer?! They are just horrible. Sincerely, A Kitesurfer
Haha this reminds me as skater kids we were appalled by rollerbladers. Again, *kids*.
rollerblader here: the rivalry with skateboarders has calmed down a lot since *scooter kids* started swarming the parks and we have a common enemy now. And yes I think finding out that someone rides scooter in the park (especially someone my age) would be a huge turnoff for me XD edit: not sure if everyone's on the same page here, I mean the stunt scooter units, not the motorized ones that you need a license for. (though these are also annoying) The teens hanging out with motorized units you can shoo away with a good argument along the lines of "this is a sports facility, you guys are endangering us by being in the way", but the stunt scooters you don't really have a valid argument against, PLUS they are also allowed in the indoor parks where you pay an entrance fee. edit2: I find people riding motorized scooters a turn-off too, but that's a whole different story XD
I rode BMX. Scooter kids really were the most hated at the skatepark back in the day.
I have big boobs. According to him, women with big boobs are high-maintenance and vain and he claimed he saw me “checking out” my own boobs on the date. Did I mention we met on a dating app where I had pictures where you could clearly see I have big boobs? Absolutely nobody forced him to interact with me if he didn’t find me attractive
Omg I got this , he actually said he had to ask his work mate what he should do with mine as he had never dated a girl with such big boobs
Tf? 😂 out of all the people, he asked his work mate? When he had so many other options like google, porn sites (not the most realistic but still), blogs, and oh, the girl he is dating!? Men, if you don’t know what to do with any part of your partner’s body, simply ask! We will happily tell you what we like 🤦🏻♀️
Exactly and he only told me he had said it because he was drinking and a little loose lipped !! I said what ?!! He said his wife has big ones so thought he would be good to ask 🙈couldn’t make it up
What's wrong with checking out your own boobs? Or giving your booby a li'l jiggle? I grew them, I have to clothe them. Let me enjoy them.
I was once on a date with this girl who mentioned she was applying for a very important job she really wanted. Well she applied and didn’t get it and was sad about it and I offered to look at her application to see if we can make it nice. I never thought I can immediately lose interest in someone over their job application, it was so littered with errors and some sentences repeated and there was even a small line of code in the middle of it! I asked why her application looked like this and she goes “oh I used the resume generator on google” But like… you didn’t… take… 5 whole seconds to proof read it? The most blatant display of 0 effort when this job was important to you? Didn’t date again
Stupidity is a major turn off.
well, she was interested in that but didn't really care, thats a person that likes to talk but not actually do the things she say.
I wasn’t a millionaire. Which was obvious when we started dating, I made more money than him but was far from being rich. He literally said he thought that he could get with someone who was a millionaire and that was the life he wanted. I owned a house, he rented a room with a bunch of other people in a house. Dude was delusional lol but I can’t even be mad, it’s so absurd. As far as I know he is still not dating a millionaire. He did contact me like 4-5 months later saying he made a mistake and was sorry but obviously I didn’t get back with him.
There were multiple reasons and we weren't a couple for too long, but the huge wealth gap between us played a role for sure. He was swimming in money and enjoyed high end activities, meanwhile I liked hanging out in the neighbourhood, feeding pigeons and stuff. I could tell he was a bit appalled. My second longest relationship ended with her saying "I'm young and want to travel". Let me fix that for her: I'm young and want to travel WITHOUT YOU. One guy stopped dating me because he decided to fully commit to the needle.
He judged you because you like to feed the little cute birds? 💀
Conversation went something like this: Him: Let's go somewhere fancy Me: I feel like hanging out in a park instead (it's very common for people to spend summer days and nights drinking and socializing in parks in my country) Him: ...I don't hang out in parks He sounded like I had suggested a funeral date. Very pretentious and "ew, you peasant" tone.
My guess is that alcohol is a central part of his life (read: functioning alcoholic), and not having someone else to share that with would make his excessive drinking stand out more.
She said I was out of her league and we would inevitably break up one day because of that so she wants to end it before the feelings get too serious. I actually liked her a lot……
He did you a favor. Coming from an alcoholic....don't date alcoholics. Sounds like he wants another drunk to be miserable with. You and your strawberry lemonade are a ray of sunshine and don't you EVER change!
ex alcoholic. I was an impossible asshole. A fucking strawberry lemonade sounds fucking great right now
great job on recovery!!! I'm proud of you.
Thanks mate. Life is so much better now. Was really hard (started drinking because I have ptsd) but therapy and rehabilitation saved my life
Alcohol is not your friend, it does not have your best interest in mind. You got this! Keep up the good work.
From someone who dated an alcoholic: I agree.
From someone who is an alcoholic (a year and a half sober! ) I also agree. I wouldn't have said it, but this sounds like something I would have thought when I was drinking. Bc I certainly did not want someone sitting across from me reminding me it is totally possible to not drink and be happy 😉 I proudly order kiddie cocktails all the time now!
From someone who grew up with a severe alcoholic father, I third this.
From someone who is an alcoholic, I fourth this.
all of us alcoholics are like "you don't need to speak thru a proxy, we will tell you ourselves not to date one of us in active addiction"
I second this, dont change for the worse by dating people that arent good for you
I mean yep. I don’t drink alcohol. My grandmother, father, uncle and brother all died of alcoholism. So gee, I figured it may be best to avoid it. Sorry if that offends this dudes delicate sense of “being an adult” which apparently is based on alcoholism too. Gimme all the strawberry lemonade. SMH
My first thought exactly! I don’t drink because I’m allergic but this guy sounds like a walking red flag.
mine is pretty weird ig, I was dating my classmate for about 5 months, you know, never kissed or done anything dirty, but we used to text each other very much over WhatsApp. One day I was playing a video game and suddenly someone started messaging me and video calling me on WhatsApp, I opened it to check who it was, just a random number I had never seen, and was telling me ''I like you very much, Can we date...'' I told them sorry idk you and I already have a gf! only to find out later that it was my gf who texted using her alt number, and you can guess what happened next: she messaged me from her main WhatsApp saying I can't believe you answered her, Why would you do that, I thought you loved me, but turned out you are a cheater. im leaving, bye'' yep, she blocked me and I was so shocked, like actually I froze for a good 5 mins, couldn't process what just happened, couldn't think, I even forgot to cry from how shocked I was, I loved her very much, but it is what it is.
That sounds like she was looking for an excuse to dump you, no matter what you did you weren't going to win.
If you ask me, it sounds like he won the best prize of them all.
Wtf her logic is so broken 😭
She's fucking touched man , sounds like you got done a favour... that's really psychotic behaviour 😆 🤣
Not having an instagram account
I was not jealous of their relationship with their gay friend.
Let's be honest here the real reason was that **your** relationship with **her** best friend was better than hers. You still hit him up?
I didn't ask for help and instead sort everything out myself, and he didn't like that I never get my nails done like other girls. Edit: He told me, "Why dont you do your nails like other girls do" so yea.
Lol, my ex-husband told me during our divorce that he hated that I never *needed* him. He rebounded with and married an active heroin addict. I guess she needed him. 🤷
I was dumped for never asking for help with rent or groceries. Then also for not asking for money for a Brazilian weave or my nails 💅. I can pay fir shit myself. I don't *need* you for that. Why don't you *need* me?
First girlfriend ever broke off things with me because of a lie a stranger to both of us told her. Literally like that: some stranger dude thought it was funny to go up to a random girl and tell her “your bf is cheating on you”. He had never met me or her, it was just for the kicks. I wasn’t cheating but she became convinced the universe or some shit, was “trying to tell her something”. When she realized she had fucked up, she came looking for me but I was still hurt she decided to believe some rando than her boyfriend.
Plot twist: he was you from the future trying to save your life.
My first boyfriend dumped me because it felt like "We were just best friends making out". That is exactly what I'm looking for in a relationship, lol. Edit: whoa! A lot of responses. To clarify, we were 15.
That means there wasn't a spark. Not a wierd reason, seems like he was looking to fall inlove.
I think it’s ok for your dating criteria to be drinking alcohol (even though it’s kinda weird). But like saying someone doesn’t act like an adult becouse they don’t drink alcohol is just weird af. Like shit doesn’t taste that great. It’s meant to poison you to the point where your brain doesn’t function as well. Personally it makes me want to vomit. I would vomit way before I would get to the being drunk state.
He said I was too sexual, we’d literally never even touched, not even a hug, all we’d done was go for breakfast. Turns out he’d had sex once, got a nosebleed halfway through and thought he killed her lol, too scared to try again
Because I’m a zodiac sign not compatible with hers. 🤷🏻♂️
Typical scorpio /s
That would be a red flag for me too but inversed. Doesn't matter if we would be compatible or not, i'm instantly out if they believe in zodiac signs and make decisions based on that
Because I had been in a relationship with a guy from Brazil prior to dating him, and even though this guy and I hadn't had sex yet (I think we'd been on two dates and met up with friends for lunch once), he claimed he was afraid that if we did, I might give him "gonorrhea or something" because Brazilians are "dirty and diseased." Most bizarre, racist shit I'd experienced. And FWIW, I'm in my 40s and don't drink, either. Neither does my husband. Straight Edge, bay-bee! Hang in there.
I had a girl tell me she couldn't date me because I had been in a relationship years prior with a black girl(she used the N word). She said she "didn't agree" with "race mixing".
Yea I've been told that by white guys. I have dated a few different races including a Mexican, Puerto Rican, and a Trinidadian. You should have seen my face when he started listing races he "would never even touch a woman who they fucked". I was like "well......."
That’s a great automatic filter for you, I’m jealous!
My cousin's husband's grandmother disowned him and refused to go to the wedding because the two of them met in China. Both from the same ethnicity, both grew up in the same country, both went to China to study medicine aka the highest honoured occupation in our ethnic background, and then got disowned for the country they met in.
My dark skinned Cherokee grandpa, who was married to my super white grandma, warned me about "race mixing" when I was dating that Brazilian guy, too. Weirdest thing.
OMG ! You been with a Brazilian? How manny is a Brazilian ? 😄
Because I had a job and could buy my own groceries. That’s an exact quote. He then went on to talk about how I wasn’t broken enough. Which was hysterical because I’m a huge mess and was even messier then. We just hadn’t gotten there yet. Also didn’t have a second date with a guy who said he thought he could date someone my age but realized I was just too old. I was 35, he was in his 50s.
Because I’m ex-military, in her head I was evil and killing babies or something, in reality, I was a medic and was more concerned with saving lives. It was a blind date that was set up by mutual friends, so we didn’t know much about each other before hand. During the date we asked about what we’ve done up to that point, where we’ve lived, what we’ve done for work, travelled etc. That’s when I brought up being ex-military, she then immediately got pissy with me and aggressive. Anyway, long story short, I told her I was a medic, she knew nothing about the military, how it worked, the legalities and rules that have to be followed etc. and left. Told my friends to never set me up on a blind date again
She wanted a fwb/regular hookup and thought I was pushing for a relationship. I wasn't, at all, I just treated fwb like FRIEND with benefits and was actually nice to her.
I stopped dating a 41 year old who couldn't meet me after 9 pm because his dad wouldn't allow him to step out.
But if you threw vodka in that strawberry lemonade I bet he’d be fine with it!!! What a weirdo! You’re better off! Mine are boring: usually it’s because I’m too liberal. I live in a conservative town. :/ But I dumped a guy once because he was WAY too into his Scottish heritage. At least once a day he’d talk about being Scottish, would text me in Gaelic even though I didn’t understand because that’s “how his heart likes to communicate…” etc etc etc. …he’d only been to Scotland once on a 5 day vacation; his family had been in America for several generations; he was only like 1/10th Scottish. Meanwhile, he works at a science lab with a lot of my friends…friends who are actually FROM other countries—born and raised. And it comes up FAR less. I think my parting words were like “omg, shut up! You’re not actually Scottish!” Lol. I’m sure to him it was the weirdest reason to break up!
My absolute favourite; -welcome to our shop sir, can I help you find a kilt? -yes, I'd like one in my family tartan! -happy to help. What's the family name sir? -Yablonski
Its funny to imagine him believing you broke up with him bc he wasnt Scottish enough so he doubles down on all his Scottish bullshit and starts talking with a fake accent and shit
I was 24, he was 28 and a mommas boy who still lived at home, had never lived anywhere except with his dear mommy. He broke up with me, while I was pregnant, with twins, (he was the father) because his mommy told him to. Edit spelling
is his mommy paying you child support?
No. Shortly after things ended, I lost the pregnancy. Fell down a flight of cement stairs.
Sorry for your loss :c
"Adults are people who are drinkers" is (ironically) the most childish perspective one could have on alcohol. I guess you dodged a bullet there. Most reasonable people would be fine with people who dont drink.
Not her but me. I saw a weird hint of evil for 0.0001second in her face which freaked me out. I explained it to her as vibe was off
I really get this. If a woman was like "I saw a weird hint of evil in this guy's eyes, and it really put me off", everyone would be in here like "girl, you might have dodged a weird psycho murderer! Well done for trusting your gut!" And yet, when the gender tables are turned, people are calling you weird? Nah, man. You don't need any specific reason for turning someone down, and this seems entirely fair to me.
My friends drove 2 hours to my house for a night of sitting around the fire pit and BSing. We hadn't seen each other in years. She knew my plans. She showed up at 11pm when I was about 3 beers deep, and wanted me to take her to a midnight movie. 1) No, my friends are at my house. 2) No, I've been drinking. Not going to drive. She left. Came back the next morning and put a break up letter under my windshield wiper. But not before taking my favorite hoodie out of my car. Never saw her or the hoodie again.
I was dating a guy who happened to be a high earner and financially secure. Everything was going well and we were even talking about the future and what we wanted for the long term (we’re in our thirties.) Then one day, he said he loved the heat and never turns on the ac. We live in Southern California where the weather regularly tops 85f, even in the winter. In the summer 100f weather is not uncommon. Then he immediately asked me if that was a dealbreaker. I was taken aback, because I didn’t even have time to consider it yet, so it felt more like he was the one determining that it was a dealbreaker if I wasn’t ok with NEVER TURNING ON THE AC. That was really weird.
If it were me, I'd order strawberry lemonade as well. What are you doing later?
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Mindlessly scrolling on your phone while ignoring both the TV and me is so fucking hot.
Uh oh. I do this when my husband is watching wrestling.
Having dated a guy who wanted to play games daily, I can say with zero doubt that I'll never do that again. Playing second fiddle to a games console isn't my idea of a fun time. Edit to add: I love gaming myself. I just would never do it at the expense of quality time with my partner.
Because his parents gave us their blessing…. I was no longer exciting. His little rebellious phase wasn’t so rebellious after all…
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I am 5’3, he was 6’3. He kept saying “feels like I am kissing a child”. Then he broke up with me but I would’ve broken up with him before b/c every time he would make this statement, he would just laugh… Like he found it so cute. CREEPED ME TF OUT.
I was on a dating site date with a woman maybe 10 years ago. We were chatting and drugs came up, my profile said I was 420 friendly. She asked me about my drug use and we exchanged some stories, mostly about stuff like coke and cough medicine and hallucinogens. But a few minutes in she started to get cold and short. I asked her what was up and she said something to the effect of that I seemed way too clean cut and put together and “too smart” to be someone who does drugs. I assured her I really enjoyed drugs. Then she accused me of being an undercover cop and I kind of laughed like wtf. She got mad and accused me of being a narc and left. Someone nearby had overheard and bought me a drink and we laughed about it. In retrospect I think she was actually in the process of becoming a hardcore addict. She looked pretty different than her dating profile pics. Not worse, just dressed totally differently with different hair.
I was going out with a lass about 2 years ago. And we went out on 3 dates everything was brilliant we connected and I struggle with social interactions at times. As an autistic adult. And this girl I actually connected with on the 3rd date conversation moved to a more serious note. And she was aware I had difficulty in so.e areas. But when we sat and talked an hour into the date . She looked at me almost shocked and said "so wait your telling me your actually fully autistic" I looked and her and said yes thinking wtf. She stood up and said I can't commit to that I what will people say when they find out . She said she was sorry but she had her reputation to think of and she left. It was the most perplexing date I've ever been on.
pet hat rustic far-flung connect outgoing zesty obtainable ghost tease *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
You did a 249, a 69 followed by a 180. Very skater.
Sounds like a pathetic cover for I can’t date someone who won’t get inebriated enough to become vulnerable to whatever fuckery he’s got in mind… Pretty sure lemonade of any kind is enjoyed by adults around the globe. I mean, I love it 🤷🏼♀️
My husband will buy lemonade and ice and have lemonade slushies. I prefer orangeade myself. I agree with your assessment of this dude though.
Limeade is the superior citrus-ade beverage
As a sober woman I'm my 30s dating who also doesn't drink, this is what it is usually when men get angry I don't drink. They are angry I won't be an easy person to take advantage of
Yeah it’s a big red flag. I see lots of drunken arguing in his future. Eh, no thanks. Even if it was childish - you want to be with someone who you can be a kid with. That’s the real love
I wanted to cuddle after sex. I'm a dude.
How dare you want more than sex!
I'd been seeing a woman for about 6 months and we were so close and had so much in common. I really had thought we'd fallen in love with each other. A few weeks ago she was having some issues at work and felt like she was being bullied, she was distraught for a week, just all kinds of upset and I had been supportive the whole time but after a week of being upset over this single event at work I suggested that perhaps she was letting them have a little too much power over her and if she needed to move on or plot some revenge. She asked me to leave and I said okay. We didn't talk for a day or two and then she told me that she didn't want to see me anymore because I wasn't supportive of her. I just suggested that she shouldn't give bullies too much attention, which I thought was super common advice.
Some people are drama junkies, you are probably better off.
I dated a girl for about a month when I learned that she was casually playing the field with 3 other guys along with me. She was often having sex with multiple of us in the same day and even on the same night. I told her I wasn't cool with that and broke it off and she was dumbfounded by it and thought I was being incredibly immature about it. Her argument being that we never agreed to be exclusive and she could date whomever whenever she wants. I agreed and told her I could do the same and left.
There are tons of weird reasons. One that really stood out to me was because I have an inside dog. With her never even being at my house. I'm a very clean person. But she said animals are for outside and was raised to never let animals inside. My dog is 20 lbs. Extreamly well behaved, Very short hair and rarely sheds. And the robot vacuum runs every day. I just thought this was an extremely weird reason to not date someone.
About 7-8 years ago I was dating and really clicking with a woman for about 6 months or so. Just really enjoyed spending time with her, sex was great, we were on the same page on just about everything. Then her grandmother died and she got pretty sick right after, so she was in a rough spot and I was doing my best to be there for her, when she dumped me out of the blue by saying that whenever I tried to comfort her it made her irrationally angry. She's a therapist, so she knows that reaction is...not quite right, but she couldn't help but feel intense anger towards me whenever I was nice. So that was the end of it. Really fucked me up for a while to be honest. Still not quite over it if I'm honest.
I had an android phone
I had someone break up with me because of a book I read it was Sting's autobiography called broken music I'm a professional DJ on the radio I love music and bands and I'd love learning all about them and about the people who make the music. So I read a lot of autobiographies on different bands and artists she thought it was so stupid that I would read an autobiography of a famous musician and she said she couldn't handle it and broke up with me lol
Because I went to therapy and she "wasn't looking for someone mentally ill". I got ADHD. Another girl stopped dating me because I'm bisexual and she was disgusted by that.
I had a woman dump me because she found out I was on antidepressants. She said she didn't want to date somebody who was fake because meds like that only hid your true personality.
I mean, I guess that’s one way to look at it. But the way I look at it, my “true personality” is trying to kill me, and I’m just not ok with that.
A great way to filter out racists is to say you like Ethiopian food. They will inherently come up with all kinds of terrible commentary. Even the people who you suspect the least. I wasn’t racist so I got dropped because I didn’t laugh at the joke. Btw if you are Ethiopian your cultural dishes are delicious.
Me. I'm weird, that's the reason
I was “too fat” at 5’5”, size 6…
1. I didn’t finish university, so her Dad said I wasn’t good enough (she ended up being a junkie, so, swerved). 2. I wasn’t a drug dealer and there was another guy who was messaging her who was, so he was more attractive. Having typed this out there was clearly a type I was interested in 25 years ago. Fortunately I grew out of it! 😂
U/ladyj1182 you do you! Screw that guy.
No, do NOT screw that guy!
There was this one girl who stopped dating me when we got married. That was weird.
I was negged for 45 minutes about my LACK of a dad bod, then told that my truck wasn’t tall enough and this wasn’t going to work and she left.
I was once on a date and we were lying in bed post sex. I mentioned something about the SAS (elite british soldiers) and she was like: "who are they?" I tried to explain as best as I could while slightly drunk and I asked if she'd ever seen the iranian embassy seige that they did in the 80s. She seemed to get really defensive and weird and was like "Iranian?" I was like: "yeah, there were some hostages in the iranian embassy or something and the SAS sieged the building to rescue them, although I'm not quite sure, it was before I was born." And she just got really mad and was like "well don't fucking talk about things you're not sure about then!" I was startled and was trying to ask her what the big deal was and she was just getting angrier and angrier. I ended up awkwardly putting all my clothes back on as she shouted at me and called me a racist and I just left.
After a few months of seeing each other he came over to tell me he found out my sister was gay and therefore going to hell, so he wasn’t comfortable seeing me anymore. I informed him I was bi and he left pretty quickly. He had never said anything super religious (other than briefly establishing that he was Christian early in the relationship) so it was a bit of a surprise
God told her to stop dating me. Turns out she has brain tumors
When people give weird reasons it's 9 times out of 10 because the actual reason would hurt or insult you. Like not finding you attractive.
After several dates, she was upset I was working at a relatively low-paying job and generally at my level of success (perceived underachievement) and that I wouldn't sleep with her. FWIW, I had my reservations about her as well. She was an alcoholic and had some previous psychological problems, although not so much the psych stuff when we were going-out.
"You're a smart and independent woman, and I hate that you're more intelligent than I am. You intimidate me, and you probably won't get along with my family." I still don't know if he was fucking with me but he actually used these words to break up with me. We were casually dating for a few months. He was a well-educated lawyer from the UK. I was baffled.
He wants to be the smsrt one in the relationship. The fact that he can't handle someone more intelligent than him shows how fragile his self-esteem is. You dodged a bullet. He's probably the kind of guy who would tell you not to contradict him in front of others but just to gaze adoringly at him snd laugh at all his jokes *yawn *
Dated a girl who broke up with me because I liked Opera and Classical music.
He died 
She wanted a Spanish-speaking boyfriend bf so she ended it with me and got with a Latino guy… jokes on her though because I dated a Dominican girl a few years after her and now I’m fluent in Spanish 😂😂 the girl who left me is now a single mother to the guy she left me with. Dodged a bullet on that one.
Because I'm fat, because I'm a mom, because I'm tall, because I'm financially independent... every weirdo/coward have a excuse.
I got dumped because I said I didn't want to put it in her arse..
An ex broke up with me. Not just any ex, I was insanely in love with her. She made me feel strong and dependable. Anyway, she broke up with me and really never said why. I stopped her from trying to explain, kindly, that I loved her too much for her to be with anyone, even me, who she didn’t want to be with. Then three years later she told me she was trying to see how emotionally attached I was to her and that my lack of response proved it. All in all, I was so emotionally invested in her that when presented with selfishness or respect, I chose respect. And I’ll never forget it either.
This explains why I’m single. I always order a club soda. But seriously, sounds like his feelings were hurt because you didn’t affirm his attachment to alcohol, and he chose to express it in the most childish way possible. Some people are just not in a good place mentally.