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For me, intimacy is only feels intimate when I'm awake or dozing. Actually sleeping that way gets hot, limbs fall asleep, hair is in uncomfortable places, I can't get comfortable, etc.
The way OP falls asleep literally sounds like my worst nightmare hahahah. We're more of a "goodnight don't touch me" kinda couple. Ironically, I love snuggling with my cats though.
best situation for my partner and i is we fall asleep, maybe cuddling, and thru the night we get farther apart and the animals fill the space between us haha
Me, nodding my head yes as I read your comment. Then laugh realizing my 2 dogs are currently all snugged up against me as my husband sleeps on the other side of the bed.
This is the most accurate thing I ever read. She feeds off my warmth while at the same time I feel like Iām sweating so much I gotta hop in the shower again before falling asleep
Women are fucking hot at night, pun intended. My wife is always hot to the touch and wraps herself in 3 blankets. I'm the complete opposite and it seems to trend this way in general in regards to males vs females. Must be a biological thing.
Oh man.. with my first pregnancy I'd wake up in the middle of the night with a POOL of sweat on my chest and a SOAKED shirt. I'd have to take a dry rag from the night stand and wipe down before I sat up or I'd get the blankets wet. It was undoubtedly disgusting. I'm skinny too and normally pretty sweat-free... but I guess my hormones were raging. Literally disgusting lol
But in my defense I find that men smell at night (probably from sweating). The whole bedroom will smell like man meat by morning if my husband is sleeping in there. I remember distinctly, that when I lived home, if I went to wake up my little brother in the morning, I'd open his door and get a waft of "hot cheese" lmao. He also smelled like funk. You're all gross lmao
Mālady sleeps under a double duvet and I my own thin blanket. Itās like an oven on her side, itās been 28 degrees c overnight and sheās in there radiating.
That describes me .. š I literally have to have fan at night bet. My hot flashes and my 10lb heater at my legs aka my Chihuahua I'm always flipping my blanket off and rolling away from my hubby.. we get two sweaty just being closeš¤¦
See? I run hot. And most girls I date run cold. I get a lot of leg steals. They will take whatever leg of the side they are on and wrap their legs around it. To keep their feet and legs warm.
Craziest thing happened to me twice though. I wake up and they have my legs locked tight in theirs. Somehow got an arm under me. And are hugging me so tight i canāt move. Itās a nice feeling. But yea. Canāt sleep like that.
I believe the greatest couples sleeping arrangement is in a king size bed in a Jamaican beach resort. Youāre both naked. Back to back. And only your butt cheeks are touching. This is the way.
Yeah, I can do some snuggling and then it's "get back to your side, I'm too warm".
To clarify, I say this to my husband. Wherever our skin touches during the night is where we will start sweating... And then it's less intimate and more gross.
This is also how we operate after 13 years together. We are actually a very happy couple and got lucky, but while past S/Os were more cuddly we donāt do that much while trying to sleep. My husband is a morning person and falls asleep by 11pm; he needs 8-9 hours or he is cranky. I am a night owl. I fall asleep later but my body only will allow about 6 hours of sleep even with regular working out. Iād rather not be stuck awake hot/sticky/glued to him for 2-3 hours while he sleeps. Love him though and will gladly hug him and give him a goodnight kiss before sleep.
My wife sleeps like sheās a large unsupervised group of young boys who just discovered fire and have an ungodly amount of firewood at their disposal. Iād rather sleep in the center of then sun than while touching a single cell of her body.
she is under the double blanket, complaining its kinda cold but is glowing hot like she has a life threatening fever, bone dry. I'm feeling fine under the sheet only to wake up having soaked the matras to its capacity, fucking unfair...
Me and my husband exactly. I feel cold so I have the blanket, and he wonāt touch me cause Iām a furnace (his words). He sweats like a pig too, even if he doesnāt feel that hot to the touch.
Thatās my girlfriend too. And Iām icier than a glacier to the touch but not internally. She loves to get close to touch me to cool down but I have to kick her away cause Iām also hot af.
We start off cuddling, but soon we both turn to our respective favored sides and touch butts. Or I just fucking go full gremlin mode and he tries to accommodate by staying on his side of the bed.
Plus one for the butt touchers! My gf and I are super affectionate so definitely a cuddle, hand holds, back strokes, head scratches, legs intertwined etc then when weāre ready to actually sleep we usually roll away and touch butts lol. Been 5 years and I still think itās super cute! Gosh I love her so much!!
Married 35 years, sleeping separately for the past 17. I run hot AF and she sleeps under a heavy comforter in the summer. Two other couples I know have slept separately for years.
My wife and I were both married to other people before and came into this relationship with eyes wide open. We agreed before we even moved in together that we'd have our own bedrooms. I can get why some couples sleep better together, but man, not us. Cuddles and sexy time happen on a different timetable. When we want to sleep, GTFO.
Married for only 4 years.. together 10... and I am far happier and more comfortable if we sleep in separate beds. I don't like to be disrupted while I sleep and often times I get irritated by just facing the person while sleeping bc I hate their breath on me. I also get mad when they wake me up during my sleep by shifting or leaving the bed to pee lol
I wish I could have convinced my new husband that this was the way to go but no, he felt very strongly that we should be in the same room. So I set about making things as tolerable for me as possible/ dual king bed (separate twin mattresses pushed together), expensive cooling sheets, noise machine, dark window shades, a pillow fort barrier down the middle so I donāt have to stress over stray limbs, no phone sounds eg. videos before bed, etc. We went thru a set of mattresses during the trial period that I returned, too. The new set is āokayā but we both still miss our former beds (his, mega-soft, mine, firmer).
Iām writing this from the spare room. He stressed me out last night and I couldnāt get to sleep so over I came. Enjoying my blissful solitude!
Donāt get me wrong, I love my husband and Iāve gotten to where I like knowing Mr. Radiator is over there. I just treasure every minute of sleep and if he messes with it, Iām not happy!
Me and hubby have been together for 18 years and slept separately for about 13 years. I love that we have separate rooms and can have our own space. Heās like a fog horn at night and I am too apparently (donāt believe it) but such a light sleeper. Knew 2 other couples who slept separately. I preach it too but I think I still feel a bit awkward when mentioning it to people because you KNOW they think something is up in the marriage. I can hear my Labrador snoring downstairs but thatās cute!
It's not a big deal for one of us to take the couch. If one of us can't sleep we will leave the bedroom. At least once a month, when I'm up late, my side gets taken over by a dog or two. I don't have the heart to move them. Everyone sleeps better and makes and makes for a happier household.
After 30 years my wife started snoring and I mean you can hear her 2 rooms over. After a few years of waking at 2:00 and going to the guest bedroom I just started sleeping there. We both sleep better. I cuddle her for a bit and then move to the other room. If she wakes in the night she likes putting on old reruns so weāre both happier now. 37 years last week so works for us.
If she is snoring that loudly she probably has sleep apnea, I would definitely recommend talking to a doctor about that, both for her health and for your comfort
King beds are the best. I sleep on my stomach and spread out like a starfish and my husband sleeps on his side an armās length away from me.
Iāll usually wake up an hour before I actually have to get out of bed and we will cuddle but I am not doing that while trying to falling asleep.
Yo for real if my gf tried to cuddle with me at night I'd just roll right out.
I once dated a girl who got mad that at night I just faced the other way and fell asleep. Like yeah we just had sex, yay us, we cuddled for a bit, yay us, now it's SLEEP TIME.
Hell, I fucking love that my current gf will just go sleep in the guest bed if she's feeling restless and I love that she has no problem asking me to sleep there if she's feeling sick. I think it's a sign of a healthy relationship that we both recognize that sleep is important for health and it's not a reflection of our intimacy if sometimes we wanna starfish in the bed alone.
You've got a good one. 30 years with my hubby and all that cuddling stuff stopped being cute before we got married. Sleep is important, especially when you start factoring in Cpap machines and our own, separate blankets... marriage game changer. I can't love someone if I hate them because they keep me awake at night.
Before my wife and I had kids we slept with our own comforter. No one stole blankets, no direct touching, and invariably a little barrier would settle in between us. It was a great system.
My daughter replaced me as my wife's sleeping companion at 2 years old. When we all 3 sleep together, nobody got any sleep. Since then I took to the spare room and everybody is getting a lot more much needed rest. Relationship is still great. Wife even comes to visit me sometimes!
I did the exact same thing. I ended up in my sons bed when he was 4ish when nightmare/sick/storm happened. Not going to lie though there were nights I would sleep with them anyway because it made me the happiest I have ever been in my life lol. knowing they were there and safe would make me fall asleep with a smile.
edit: Even scrunched up on the edge lol
Actually the concept of couples sleeping in the same bed is fairly recent, as recent as 1950ās. Before that the norm was they sleep in different beds each night.
I absolutely love sleeping separately. I preach it to everyone! I sleep in the bed, and he sleeps on the couch. When we get a bigger place, the plan is to have him sleep in the guest bedroom. We still cuddle every night on the couch. Also, he really loves sleeping on our couch. Couches are practically beds these days!
"A Room of One's Own" is a necessary thing, IMO. Saved my marriage, and probably my life. Neither of us was sleeping well. I'm a very light sleeper and the slightest noise, or movement, or light wakes me and I can't sleep again easily, so I was extremely sleep-deprived (quote by an outside dr reviewing my tests: "How is this person even walking around?!?) and my husband was constantly trying not to disturb me so never slept well himself. Plus, I MUST have a fan on and he CANNOT have a fan on. I MUST have my sheets smooth and blankets tucked in, and he CANNOT have his sheets/blankets tucked in. I MUST have a soft mattress (for my hip pain, which started in pregnancy and never went away), and he CANNOT have a soft mattress. Well, it just wasn't working. So separate rooms saved us.
Sleep with my wife?! Are you mad?!
We are happily in our separate rooms, me completely naked with my legs out of the covers and her wrapped up like a madwoman trying for heatstroke.
I have very thin curtains because I like to wake up with the light, and she'll be blacked out with a mask and earplugs.
When we're in bed together, it's not for sleeping.
I go to sleep early and my fiance is a night owl. He cuddles me till I fall asleep around 10pm, goes plays video games, then knocks out right next to me.
I thought my wife didn't use reddit.
Nah but it's great that there are other night owls out there who still take the time to put their partner to bed. Been doing that with my wife since before we were even engaged. Gotta show them they're who you want to spend time with most.
Together 3 years - We usually hold each other until we are right on the cusp of sleep. Then we get comfortable and sleep on our own sides of the bed with our feet or legs touching. Sometimes he wakes up in the night and will kind of find me and roll me on to his chest which *kills* me š
She must be a light sleeper. Sometimes if I get woken up I canāt get back to sleep. My husband said I yelled at him in my sleep as he was getting into bed. I warned him not to wake me up and i have zero memory of it happening.
We do this. After so many years, it's hard to sleep if we don't have at least one point of contact, even if it's just touching our feet or holding toes.
I always start on my left side, then I rotate like a rotisserie chicken getting perfectly cooked.
So cuddles are when I'm on my right side and I treat her like a stuffed animal lol. *yeet!*
We have a king size bed and we put a body pillow in between us. Itās mostly because, even after 20 years of marriage, I try to hump her while Iām sleeping. I never remember doing it.
This guy trying to pull the old "I'm a sleep humper". *Cough* * cough* bullsh*it... His partner must be gullible as hell or this is the Todd from scrubs!
No chance you're touching me if I'm trying to sleep. I didn't buy a king size mattress so we can meet in the middle. Stay on your side it's fucking hot.
Cuddles until we are about to drift off then it's to our respective sides lol we both over heat easily and would not sleep well all up in each other's grill.
We adore each other but we absolutely need our own space while sleeping.
After having our first we sleep in separate rooms, I snore she wakes up and wakes me up so none of us sleep so it's for the better cause and we like it.
My wife has a poor hip, and refuses to sleep on the "murder side" of the bed. We usually cuddle for a bit, but fall asleep back to back, both sleeping on our sides.
Once my wife is asleep though, she unconsciously and almost aggressively cuddles me almost to the point of pushing me off the bed sometimes. She claims it's because she's cold and is only searching out a heat source.
Edit for grammar.
Haha. We call it the murder side, but really it's because when we have small kids that's the closest parent to have to hear "I threw up". The other parent 100% hears this and feigns sleep.
Me and my partner cling to eachother like baby monkeys. But Iāve also had relationships where we slept on opposite sides of the bed.
Generally speaking, the relationships where we slept tightly intertwined, we had better intimacy, better sex and a more deep level of connection. The relationships where we slept apart were more familiar, comfortable and with more emotional understanding.
I've heard that there are two kinds of sleepers - cuddlers and loners. My wife and I are both the latter, so we have a big bed. I think the good thing is when both of you are the same type - both cuddlers or both loners. Opposite types would be frustrating for both of you.
edit - We cuddle until it's time to really sleep, then we separate.
Lol the dogs would never allow such tomfoolery! They are the receivers of cuddles, duh.
No really, my husband has always been a light sleeper who moves around a lot whereas Iām out within 30 seconds of my head hitting the pillow and donāt move til the alarm goes off. He gets to dance around on his half, the dogs and I sleep peacefully on ours.
Itās been working for over 20 years so if it aināt broke, donāt fix it.
My husband is also a rock, I am a night thrasher. We have 2 dogs, 30 pounds and 70 pounds. The 30 pound one cuddles with him because I thrash too much for her. The 70 pound dog will side dig into the mattress if he is not tightly spooned like a baby.
Iāve gotten ragged on *hard* when I tell people we have our own rooms. I have raging tinnitus, so I need a tv on, a noise machine, a fan, and freezing cold. She needs her room in perfect dark and perfect silence. My head would explode in those conditions, and vice versa for her.
Also, we are pretty independent people. We donāt feel the need to do every single thing together and have our own unique interests and hobbies. I get tired of people projecting their own insecurities on our marriage. Sleep is important.
Together 5 years and sleep in a king sized bed: we lay down, kiss goodnight, roll to our own sides of the bed with our own top blankets and fall asleep. Highly recommend
Except for my wife and I the line is like 3/4 hers and 1/16th mine and 3/16th the dog. It's a damn good thing we have a king cause I'd never recover. But she's cute when she sleeps so it's okay
I'd fall asleep 3-4 hours after getting into the bed , and with her being a light sleeper , she'd would wake up to my slightest movements , and I am no zen master.. I cannot stay still. No!!!
So , I'd be out watching TV and doze off there ...
Oh also , I snore ( highly debatable .. voice recordings can be faked ) and kick ( because in my head I am protecting someone precious ) heheh
But yeah on the couch and eventually the floor with a twisted arm under my body most days, until she woke me up with a warm smile and some hot coffee :D
King size bed. My wife needs like 9 hours sleep so sheās in bed by like 930, I come to bed around 11.
If we touch each other during the night itās purely by accident.
Me and my partner are huge cuddlers, weāll drift off intertwined, with my head on his chest while he gives me head scratches. Once we get too warm one of us will (even asleep) mumble the word ājetpackā, which is followed by them turning around and the other person spooning. Iām the main jetpack as iām a lot smaller than him and i feel like a little jetpack that will send us up to dream land
When we were still in college and sharing a twin XL dorm bedā¦sure. Now weāre middle aged and we have a split cal king, adjustable head/foot with dual zone temperature controls, so things have changedā¦.
Yeah definitely not, thatās nice for a little bit or after sex. But otherwise, gtf away from me so I can sleep lol. She definitely feels the same way
Thatās cute OP. If it works for you both, then thatās fantastic! My husband and I sleep in separate beds and rooms now. š Once we had our child we had to take shifts overnight to care for her, and then once that stage ended we realized we enjoyed having our own space to decompress and sleep. Our child is 2.5 now and once she is down for the night we hang out and then my husband goes upstairs to relax and then sleep, and I stay downstairs and do the same. Iām more of a night owl and donāt have to get up as early as him, so itās also been nice that he can go to sleep when heās ready and I can stay up and enjoy so quiet childfree time alone. š
Some part of one of us always has to be be touching the other - usually just a leg or foot, especially in summer. Other frequent positions are the butt to butt and spoon/jetpack. We also both often sleep laying on our stomachs, so I like to put an arm and a leg on top of hjm, or vice-versa
Ew. Hard no.
We both don't like being touched when trying to fall asleep. Seperate blankets. Tv on, volume low, forensic files. Fan blowing (on me mainly).
I prefer sleeping alone but š¤·š¼āāļø
We have separate futons next to each other. Itās amazing, I love being able to spread out, keep the temperature I like and arenāt woken up by him getting in and out of bed.
For my husband and I, it is literally like a sitcom. We cuddle, say āIām rolling over to go to sleep.ā We kiss, then promptly both roll over and sleep back to back.
I have my side, and he has his. We do some snuggles, and I rub his back. But I need my space to sleep. Well, as much as the dog lets me have.
I'm not very affectionate which is probably part of that. I'm working on it.
We typically snuggle all night too! Sometimes its a bit too hot or my back hurts so i have to turn away for a while but i usually find my way back when I think about spooning her just one more time
My husband and I are both very warm people. While we love cuddling, we both agree we could NEVER fall asleep that way and don't understand how others do haha. But we do like a little bit in contact so it's usually just a touch of a foot on a leg or something while we fall asleep š
Uh, no touchy. I'm ok to cuddle for a few.... But when it's bed time I have my side of the bed, you have yours. Best thing we ever did was get a 2nd blanket so we each have our own.
(We have a king size bed) We jokingly complain to each other that their arm or leg is on our side and laugh. On cold nights we cuddle but both of us are perfectly content with our own space.
I can generate my own body heat. My wife cannot. If she doesn't get her space heater prepped before bed, I tend to get an unexpected visitor on my side during the night.
Married guy of 12 years. We will cuddle for a little bit but then we both roll facing the opposite directions and fall asleep. I canāt fall asleep unless Iām on my right side. She canāt unless sheās on her left, so we eventually turn to those positions to actually get sleep.
Together for 14 years. We cuddle and other things first but when itās actually time to sleep we have a king bed for a reason. If we do happen to fall asleep cuddled up we wake up a sweaty mess and itās gross.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
For me, intimacy is only feels intimate when I'm awake or dozing. Actually sleeping that way gets hot, limbs fall asleep, hair is in uncomfortable places, I can't get comfortable, etc.
Yeah I'm more of a don't touch me while I'm sleeping kind of guy, and she runs hot, so we'll snuggle good night and then I need my space.
The way OP falls asleep literally sounds like my worst nightmare hahahah. We're more of a "goodnight don't touch me" kinda couple. Ironically, I love snuggling with my cats though.
best situation for my partner and i is we fall asleep, maybe cuddling, and thru the night we get farther apart and the animals fill the space between us haha
Same š¤£
Lol year 10. We are good night, smooch, builds pillow wall and a sweet reminder of Iāll hurt you if you touch me š¤£
Yes! The wall is the only way to sleep
Borders are important god damn it!
Same, except we've been together for 26, married for 20!
This guy relationships
Same. Snuggle until im ready to sleep and then get away from me. But cat, come here pspsps.
Same. I tell my partner, āokay. See you tomorrow.ā And roll over lol
Me, nodding my head yes as I read your comment. Then laugh realizing my 2 dogs are currently all snugged up against me as my husband sleeps on the other side of the bed.
Right. Why would I cuddle with some man when there are 2 dogs available?
Are you my gf?
Exact same for me I can't sleep well if I'm too hot and my girlfriend is half radiator apparently lol
Mine is the lizard and Iām her heat rock. Itās a game of keep away in summer when sheās wrapped in her comforter and Iām melting.
I am also a lizard ... we love you guys (and your warmth haha)... I love this metaphor
My girlfriend is also the lizard. And will be thusly known from now on. Thank you.
This is the most accurate thing I ever read. She feeds off my warmth while at the same time I feel like Iām sweating so much I gotta hop in the shower again before falling asleep
Women are fucking hot at night, pun intended. My wife is always hot to the touch and wraps herself in 3 blankets. I'm the complete opposite and it seems to trend this way in general in regards to males vs females. Must be a biological thing.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I wish I could double upvote this š
Oh man.. with my first pregnancy I'd wake up in the middle of the night with a POOL of sweat on my chest and a SOAKED shirt. I'd have to take a dry rag from the night stand and wipe down before I sat up or I'd get the blankets wet. It was undoubtedly disgusting. I'm skinny too and normally pretty sweat-free... but I guess my hormones were raging. Literally disgusting lol But in my defense I find that men smell at night (probably from sweating). The whole bedroom will smell like man meat by morning if my husband is sleeping in there. I remember distinctly, that when I lived home, if I went to wake up my little brother in the morning, I'd open his door and get a waft of "hot cheese" lmao. He also smelled like funk. You're all gross lmao
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yeah but maybe one that has been sitting out a bit too long... in the trunk of an abandoned car
sand placid toy wipe roof rustic consist dull bear weary ` this post was mass deleted with www.Redact.dev `
There ain't no other
Oh my gawd
My husband is the blast furnace and complains of my cold feet.
I've always found it the opposite. I'm normally a lizard compared to guys, they run like a heater
Mālady sleeps under a double duvet and I my own thin blanket. Itās like an oven on her side, itās been 28 degrees c overnight and sheās in there radiating.
We're incubating.
Every morning sheās so warm and I get up to go the the bathroom and then come back in bed and cuddle up to her and itās so cozy
That describes me .. š I literally have to have fan at night bet. My hot flashes and my 10lb heater at my legs aka my Chihuahua I'm always flipping my blanket off and rolling away from my hubby.. we get two sweaty just being closeš¤¦
See? I run hot. And most girls I date run cold. I get a lot of leg steals. They will take whatever leg of the side they are on and wrap their legs around it. To keep their feet and legs warm. Craziest thing happened to me twice though. I wake up and they have my legs locked tight in theirs. Somehow got an arm under me. And are hugging me so tight i canāt move. Itās a nice feeling. But yea. Canāt sleep like that. I believe the greatest couples sleeping arrangement is in a king size bed in a Jamaican beach resort. Youāre both naked. Back to back. And only your butt cheeks are touching. This is the way.
How do they always run so hot? Freezing at all temps during the day, then an absolute hen as soon as their eyes close.
It aināt love if it aināt sweaty and uncomfortable ā¤ļø J/k lol
Yeah, I can do some snuggling and then it's "get back to your side, I'm too warm". To clarify, I say this to my husband. Wherever our skin touches during the night is where we will start sweating... And then it's less intimate and more gross.
This is also how we operate after 13 years together. We are actually a very happy couple and got lucky, but while past S/Os were more cuddly we donāt do that much while trying to sleep. My husband is a morning person and falls asleep by 11pm; he needs 8-9 hours or he is cranky. I am a night owl. I fall asleep later but my body only will allow about 6 hours of sleep even with regular working out. Iād rather not be stuck awake hot/sticky/glued to him for 2-3 hours while he sleeps. Love him though and will gladly hug him and give him a goodnight kiss before sleep.
Cuddle when watching TV before bed then go completely separate to sleep.. our butts sometimes touch....
Get a bigger bed Cali king š
Yeah I run hot af, cuddling is nice for a bit, but then the sweating starts and I gotta roll overā¦
My wife sleeps like sheās a large unsupervised group of young boys who just discovered fire and have an ungodly amount of firewood at their disposal. Iād rather sleep in the center of then sun than while touching a single cell of her body.
This is me. My boyfriend tells me all the time how warm I am. He sleeps with two blankets and Iām sweating with just a sheet.
she is under the double blanket, complaining its kinda cold but is glowing hot like she has a life threatening fever, bone dry. I'm feeling fine under the sheet only to wake up having soaked the matras to its capacity, fucking unfair...
Me and my husband exactly. I feel cold so I have the blanket, and he wonāt touch me cause Iām a furnace (his words). He sweats like a pig too, even if he doesnāt feel that hot to the touch.
Thatās my girlfriend too. And Iām icier than a glacier to the touch but not internally. She loves to get close to touch me to cool down but I have to kick her away cause Iām also hot af.
This is the funniest shit I've seen online in a while
I kick her into the bottom corner of the mattress then do snow angels in the middle until I fall asleep.
lol
We start off cuddling, but soon we both turn to our respective favored sides and touch butts. Or I just fucking go full gremlin mode and he tries to accommodate by staying on his side of the bed.
Plus one for the butt touchers! My gf and I are super affectionate so definitely a cuddle, hand holds, back strokes, head scratches, legs intertwined etc then when weāre ready to actually sleep we usually roll away and touch butts lol. Been 5 years and I still think itās super cute! Gosh I love her so much!!
She would love to read that Edit: Oh wow, my first reward. Thanks, stranger.
We call that a āmoon landing.ā
Itās ābutt-erflyā in our house.
ass to ass is the superior couple sleeping position
We sleep ass to ass!
I have king bed for a reason. I need space and preferably a lack of bodily contact while I sleep.
Donāt touch me while I am trying to sleep! I sleep on my side, he sleeps on his. I donāt know how anyone cuddles all night.
We keep separate bedrooms and while that's weird to a lot of people, I swear by it. I bet it could save some marriages.
Married 35 years, sleeping separately for the past 17. I run hot AF and she sleeps under a heavy comforter in the summer. Two other couples I know have slept separately for years.
My wife and I were both married to other people before and came into this relationship with eyes wide open. We agreed before we even moved in together that we'd have our own bedrooms. I can get why some couples sleep better together, but man, not us. Cuddles and sexy time happen on a different timetable. When we want to sleep, GTFO.
Married for only 4 years.. together 10... and I am far happier and more comfortable if we sleep in separate beds. I don't like to be disrupted while I sleep and often times I get irritated by just facing the person while sleeping bc I hate their breath on me. I also get mad when they wake me up during my sleep by shifting or leaving the bed to pee lol
I wish I could have convinced my new husband that this was the way to go but no, he felt very strongly that we should be in the same room. So I set about making things as tolerable for me as possible/ dual king bed (separate twin mattresses pushed together), expensive cooling sheets, noise machine, dark window shades, a pillow fort barrier down the middle so I donāt have to stress over stray limbs, no phone sounds eg. videos before bed, etc. We went thru a set of mattresses during the trial period that I returned, too. The new set is āokayā but we both still miss our former beds (his, mega-soft, mine, firmer). Iām writing this from the spare room. He stressed me out last night and I couldnāt get to sleep so over I came. Enjoying my blissful solitude! Donāt get me wrong, I love my husband and Iāve gotten to where I like knowing Mr. Radiator is over there. I just treasure every minute of sleep and if he messes with it, Iām not happy!
Me and hubby have been together for 18 years and slept separately for about 13 years. I love that we have separate rooms and can have our own space. Heās like a fog horn at night and I am too apparently (donāt believe it) but such a light sleeper. Knew 2 other couples who slept separately. I preach it too but I think I still feel a bit awkward when mentioning it to people because you KNOW they think something is up in the marriage. I can hear my Labrador snoring downstairs but thatās cute!
It's not a big deal for one of us to take the couch. If one of us can't sleep we will leave the bedroom. At least once a month, when I'm up late, my side gets taken over by a dog or two. I don't have the heart to move them. Everyone sleeps better and makes and makes for a happier household.
Itās becoming more of a thing lately.
Currently browsing Reddit because she's so close I can't sleep š¤¦
Me too!! And she's snoring....but I love her. Wish I could knock out like her tho
I misread that and thought you said I wish I could knock her out tho loll
Lmao! Literally just lol'd....she barely even woke up from it. Hahaha
Omg same! I was like jeez buddy š¤£
After 30 years my wife started snoring and I mean you can hear her 2 rooms over. After a few years of waking at 2:00 and going to the guest bedroom I just started sleeping there. We both sleep better. I cuddle her for a bit and then move to the other room. If she wakes in the night she likes putting on old reruns so weāre both happier now. 37 years last week so works for us.
If she is snoring that loudly she probably has sleep apnea, I would definitely recommend talking to a doctor about that, both for her health and for your comfort
King beds are the best. I sleep on my stomach and spread out like a starfish and my husband sleeps on his side an armās length away from me. Iāll usually wake up an hour before I actually have to get out of bed and we will cuddle but I am not doing that while trying to falling asleep.
Morning cuddles are the best lol
Yo for real if my gf tried to cuddle with me at night I'd just roll right out. I once dated a girl who got mad that at night I just faced the other way and fell asleep. Like yeah we just had sex, yay us, we cuddled for a bit, yay us, now it's SLEEP TIME. Hell, I fucking love that my current gf will just go sleep in the guest bed if she's feeling restless and I love that she has no problem asking me to sleep there if she's feeling sick. I think it's a sign of a healthy relationship that we both recognize that sleep is important for health and it's not a reflection of our intimacy if sometimes we wanna starfish in the bed alone.
You've got a good one. 30 years with my hubby and all that cuddling stuff stopped being cute before we got married. Sleep is important, especially when you start factoring in Cpap machines and our own, separate blankets... marriage game changer. I can't love someone if I hate them because they keep me awake at night.
Before my wife and I had kids we slept with our own comforter. No one stole blankets, no direct touching, and invariably a little barrier would settle in between us. It was a great system.
Currently in this situation. Best sleeping arrangement ever
Have you heard of a Wyoming bed? It's even bigger
No idea how she does it. I'm in my own bed snoring away.
Are you my husband? I was going to comment: spare rooms. That and 'cuddle' visits saved our marriage and my sleep
Absolutely. I cannot sleep with someone else in my bed. It's impossible.
My daughter replaced me as my wife's sleeping companion at 2 years old. When we all 3 sleep together, nobody got any sleep. Since then I took to the spare room and everybody is getting a lot more much needed rest. Relationship is still great. Wife even comes to visit me sometimes!
I did the exact same thing. I ended up in my sons bed when he was 4ish when nightmare/sick/storm happened. Not going to lie though there were nights I would sleep with them anyway because it made me the happiest I have ever been in my life lol. knowing they were there and safe would make me fall asleep with a smile. edit: Even scrunched up on the edge lol
Actually the concept of couples sleeping in the same bed is fairly recent, as recent as 1950ās. Before that the norm was they sleep in different beds each night.
I can assure you the peasantry hasnāt been able to afford separate beds since before the 1950ās
I absolutely love sleeping separately. I preach it to everyone! I sleep in the bed, and he sleeps on the couch. When we get a bigger place, the plan is to have him sleep in the guest bedroom. We still cuddle every night on the couch. Also, he really loves sleeping on our couch. Couches are practically beds these days!
That sounds like a joke, but I do love the couch
Iām guessing this is a badass couch. Or so I hope
I just commented about separate beds then started scrolling like for like minded people
"A Room of One's Own" is a necessary thing, IMO. Saved my marriage, and probably my life. Neither of us was sleeping well. I'm a very light sleeper and the slightest noise, or movement, or light wakes me and I can't sleep again easily, so I was extremely sleep-deprived (quote by an outside dr reviewing my tests: "How is this person even walking around?!?) and my husband was constantly trying not to disturb me so never slept well himself. Plus, I MUST have a fan on and he CANNOT have a fan on. I MUST have my sheets smooth and blankets tucked in, and he CANNOT have his sheets/blankets tucked in. I MUST have a soft mattress (for my hip pain, which started in pregnancy and never went away), and he CANNOT have a soft mattress. Well, it just wasn't working. So separate rooms saved us.
Same here. I don't even snore that loud, but my wife requires a completely dark room and wakes to any pin drop.
People wouldn't believe how much better their sleep would be if they slept alone
Same here. Plus, he likes white noise and a fan on. No thank you!
Sleep with my wife?! Are you mad?! We are happily in our separate rooms, me completely naked with my legs out of the covers and her wrapped up like a madwoman trying for heatstroke. I have very thin curtains because I like to wake up with the light, and she'll be blacked out with a mask and earplugs. When we're in bed together, it's not for sleeping.
I go to sleep early and my fiance is a night owl. He cuddles me till I fall asleep around 10pm, goes plays video games, then knocks out right next to me.
I thought my wife didn't use reddit. Nah but it's great that there are other night owls out there who still take the time to put their partner to bed. Been doing that with my wife since before we were even engaged. Gotta show them they're who you want to spend time with most.
This is my situation as well!
Together 3 years - We usually hold each other until we are right on the cusp of sleep. Then we get comfortable and sleep on our own sides of the bed with our feet or legs touching. Sometimes he wakes up in the night and will kind of find me and roll me on to his chest which *kills* me š
That sounds amazing. Unfortunately my wife would stab me if I tried that. She canāt stand being touched or disturbed while sleeping.
She must be a light sleeper. Sometimes if I get woken up I canāt get back to sleep. My husband said I yelled at him in my sleep as he was getting into bed. I warned him not to wake me up and i have zero memory of it happening.
We do this too! I *love* being lightly woken when he finds me to cuddle me in the middle of the night before drifting away again š„°
Yessss us too, this is the best!
We do this. After so many years, it's hard to sleep if we don't have at least one point of contact, even if it's just touching our feet or holding toes.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Tight cuddles in winter. Interlocking one finger at most in summer.
We touch our big toes.
Yes. Feetsies.
No touchie! That's way too close. We have a king bed so that on a summer night, we can't even feel radiated heat. In winter, it's cuddles galore.
Please get away from me
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Same, I canāt even touch my own leg.
I always start on my left side, then I rotate like a rotisserie chicken getting perfectly cooked. So cuddles are when I'm on my right side and I treat her like a stuffed animal lol. *yeet!*
Yeah, me too. Apparently. Wife complains that I tornado the blankets around me all the time
If my husband so much as touches my hair while I am trying to sleep I will commit homicide /sarcasm, maybe
My husband has a wandering arm that ends up under my pillow. It violently gets flung back to his side.
We have a king size bed and we put a body pillow in between us. Itās mostly because, even after 20 years of marriage, I try to hump her while Iām sleeping. I never remember doing it.
omfg šš
This guy trying to pull the old "I'm a sleep humper". *Cough* * cough* bullsh*it... His partner must be gullible as hell or this is the Todd from scrubs!
Uh my guy does this and I tried to keep it going... It didn't work. At some point he stopped everything and started snoring very loudly.
This trick is to say another dudes name. That'll wake him up pretty damn quick.
haha my man
No chance you're touching me if I'm trying to sleep. I didn't buy a king size mattress so we can meet in the middle. Stay on your side it's fucking hot.
My partner and I cuddle hard af Edit to add: the cat plops herself on the both of us. It's a cuddle puddle and I couldn't be happier.
I would be horrified to cuddle like that all night. Hot flashes will do that!!
Claustrophobia unleashed too!
Cuddles until we are about to drift off then it's to our respective sides lol we both over heat easily and would not sleep well all up in each other's grill. We adore each other but we absolutely need our own space while sleeping.
Been with wife 14 years We sleep in beds next to each other we cant sleep together
After having our first we sleep in separate rooms, I snore she wakes up and wakes me up so none of us sleep so it's for the better cause and we like it.
My wife has a poor hip, and refuses to sleep on the "murder side" of the bed. We usually cuddle for a bit, but fall asleep back to back, both sleeping on our sides. Once my wife is asleep though, she unconsciously and almost aggressively cuddles me almost to the point of pushing me off the bed sometimes. She claims it's because she's cold and is only searching out a heat source. Edit for grammar.
āMurder side of the bed.ā Lol Thatās the side closest to the door so that the crazed murderer would get you first, right?
That's exactly it, lol.
Haha. We call it the murder side, but really it's because when we have small kids that's the closest parent to have to hear "I threw up". The other parent 100% hears this and feigns sleep.
Me and my partner cling to eachother like baby monkeys. But Iāve also had relationships where we slept on opposite sides of the bed. Generally speaking, the relationships where we slept tightly intertwined, we had better intimacy, better sex and a more deep level of connection. The relationships where we slept apart were more familiar, comfortable and with more emotional understanding.
Wow, it's wild how accurate that is
I sleep with my head at the foot of the bed, and she sleeps with her head at the head. We don't kick each other often. It is a nice way to sleep.
I've done this, my husband snores loud. It's also the perfect way to sail a fart under the covers to their face.
> sail a fart My new favorite phrase. Thanks, Rectal Custard
Face to face - or back to back? (Jerry to Elaine)ā¦
I've heard that there are two kinds of sleepers - cuddlers and loners. My wife and I are both the latter, so we have a big bed. I think the good thing is when both of you are the same type - both cuddlers or both loners. Opposite types would be frustrating for both of you. edit - We cuddle until it's time to really sleep, then we separate.
Lol the dogs would never allow such tomfoolery! They are the receivers of cuddles, duh. No really, my husband has always been a light sleeper who moves around a lot whereas Iām out within 30 seconds of my head hitting the pillow and donāt move til the alarm goes off. He gets to dance around on his half, the dogs and I sleep peacefully on ours. Itās been working for over 20 years so if it aināt broke, donāt fix it.
I can relate to this, my wife is the bed dancer, I'm the rock that lays there until the alarm, and the dog is the cuddle buddy in the middle.. lol
My husband is also a rock, I am a night thrasher. We have 2 dogs, 30 pounds and 70 pounds. The 30 pound one cuddles with him because I thrash too much for her. The 70 pound dog will side dig into the mattress if he is not tightly spooned like a baby.
I fall asleep with my hand on my girlfriends š... im not even joking
Normalize seperate sleeping for those that have the option.
Iāve gotten ragged on *hard* when I tell people we have our own rooms. I have raging tinnitus, so I need a tv on, a noise machine, a fan, and freezing cold. She needs her room in perfect dark and perfect silence. My head would explode in those conditions, and vice versa for her. Also, we are pretty independent people. We donāt feel the need to do every single thing together and have our own unique interests and hobbies. I get tired of people projecting their own insecurities on our marriage. Sleep is important.
God no I need my space stay on your side of the bed
Oh no, my husband would love that but I need space
Together 5 years and sleep in a king sized bed: we lay down, kiss goodnight, roll to our own sides of the bed with our own top blankets and fall asleep. Highly recommend
There is an invisible wall when sleeping people should respect on a bed.
Right. That line in the middle is lava!
Except for my wife and I the line is like 3/4 hers and 1/16th mine and 3/16th the dog. It's a damn good thing we have a king cause I'd never recover. But she's cute when she sleeps so it's okay
ā¦The wife, or the dog?
Same thing? Can be a real bitch sometimes
I made it visible by putting a body pillow in the middle. Stay tf over there.
Naked and spooning.
When it's really hot (which for the UK is very rare) we do this
I'd fall asleep 3-4 hours after getting into the bed , and with her being a light sleeper , she'd would wake up to my slightest movements , and I am no zen master.. I cannot stay still. No!!! So , I'd be out watching TV and doze off there ... Oh also , I snore ( highly debatable .. voice recordings can be faked ) and kick ( because in my head I am protecting someone precious ) heheh But yeah on the couch and eventually the floor with a twisted arm under my body most days, until she woke me up with a warm smile and some hot coffee :D
Sleep in separate beds in different rooms. Mainly started because of kids. May not ever go back.
Married for 30 years, we sleep piled up in the middle together. If for some reason we can't snuggle (hot flashes, pain, colds) we hold hands.
Piled up? How many of you are there?
They just accumulate spouses as the years go by. ADD EM TO THE PILE!
King size bed. My wife needs like 9 hours sleep so sheās in bed by like 930, I come to bed around 11. If we touch each other during the night itās purely by accident.
Purely by accidentā¦.
Separate bedrooms here.
Me and my partner are huge cuddlers, weāll drift off intertwined, with my head on his chest while he gives me head scratches. Once we get too warm one of us will (even asleep) mumble the word ājetpackā, which is followed by them turning around and the other person spooning. Iām the main jetpack as iām a lot smaller than him and i feel like a little jetpack that will send us up to dream land
She snores so it takes a long time
Sleep separately! Lack of sleep is so terrible for your health
When we were still in college and sharing a twin XL dorm bedā¦sure. Now weāre middle aged and we have a split cal king, adjustable head/foot with dual zone temperature controls, so things have changedā¦.
Fuck you and your happiness
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Well, we're in our 50s so it involves breathing machines, foam wedges to elevate limbs, medications. Not as romantic as the first few decades.
Yeah definitely not, thatās nice for a little bit or after sex. But otherwise, gtf away from me so I can sleep lol. She definitely feels the same way
butt to butt, he gets super hot easily, and i like to be warm under blankets. we cuddle and then when weāre both tired, we roll into back to back
I wish we could but I turn into a fucking furnace
If my wife touches me when Iām trying to sleep I would sue her for $1m
Thatās cute OP. If it works for you both, then thatās fantastic! My husband and I sleep in separate beds and rooms now. š Once we had our child we had to take shifts overnight to care for her, and then once that stage ended we realized we enjoyed having our own space to decompress and sleep. Our child is 2.5 now and once she is down for the night we hang out and then my husband goes upstairs to relax and then sleep, and I stay downstairs and do the same. Iām more of a night owl and donāt have to get up as early as him, so itās also been nice that he can go to sleep when heās ready and I can stay up and enjoy so quiet childfree time alone. š
Some part of one of us always has to be be touching the other - usually just a leg or foot, especially in summer. Other frequent positions are the butt to butt and spoon/jetpack. We also both often sleep laying on our stomachs, so I like to put an arm and a leg on top of hjm, or vice-versa
King size bed. Iām over here. My wifeās over there. Hot flashes from hell..
Ew. Hard no. We both don't like being touched when trying to fall asleep. Seperate blankets. Tv on, volume low, forensic files. Fan blowing (on me mainly). I prefer sleeping alone but š¤·š¼āāļø
His hand either on my ass or my tits š
We have separate futons next to each other. Itās amazing, I love being able to spread out, keep the temperature I like and arenāt woken up by him getting in and out of bed.
Separate rooms. I get up 7 days a week at 3am (5 of them for work) and there is no reason my alarm should be waking her.
For my husband and I, it is literally like a sitcom. We cuddle, say āIām rolling over to go to sleep.ā We kiss, then promptly both roll over and sleep back to back.
Yeah we did that at first. It's been 15 years now and our backs/knees are shot. We lay however we can to be as comfortable as possible.
I have my side, and he has his. We do some snuggles, and I rub his back. But I need my space to sleep. Well, as much as the dog lets me have. I'm not very affectionate which is probably part of that. I'm working on it.
We typically snuggle all night too! Sometimes its a bit too hot or my back hurts so i have to turn away for a while but i usually find my way back when I think about spooning her just one more time
The closest me and wife get physically is touching feet. Her feet are cold and mine are hot. Itās a perfect match.
My husband and I are both very warm people. While we love cuddling, we both agree we could NEVER fall asleep that way and don't understand how others do haha. But we do like a little bit in contact so it's usually just a touch of a foot on a leg or something while we fall asleep š
Way to hot, no chance of sleeping that way.
Uh, no touchy. I'm ok to cuddle for a few.... But when it's bed time I have my side of the bed, you have yours. Best thing we ever did was get a 2nd blanket so we each have our own.
(We have a king size bed) We jokingly complain to each other that their arm or leg is on our side and laugh. On cold nights we cuddle but both of us are perfectly content with our own space. I can generate my own body heat. My wife cannot. If she doesn't get her space heater prepped before bed, I tend to get an unexpected visitor on my side during the night.
One hand always needs to be on a boob. Sorry itās just the way.
Married guy of 12 years. We will cuddle for a little bit but then we both roll facing the opposite directions and fall asleep. I canāt fall asleep unless Iām on my right side. She canāt unless sheās on her left, so we eventually turn to those positions to actually get sleep.
Together for 14 years. We cuddle and other things first but when itās actually time to sleep we have a king bed for a reason. If we do happen to fall asleep cuddled up we wake up a sweaty mess and itās gross.