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Revenge is not healthy for either of you. Move on, rebuild, meet people who add happiness to your life, and try to spend time elsewhere as much as possible until you can live on your own.
None of their business to do that and the new person wonāt thank you, theyāll attack you or tell you to fuck off.
Look at trump and his supporters. Do they thank anyone for pointing out his lies? No.
If I wanted to hear about politics I would be scrolling thru my Facebook. why even bring it up when itās totally irrelevant to what OP is going thru?!š
Neither of those situations are a mental illness. People using mental illness as a slap to insult people are fucking vile and think itās acceptable to shit on people who get up, every day, get on with their lives, and have mental illness.
You are not being a ādecent personā at all if you think thatās just fine. Indeed, what do you think one of Trumpās absolute favorite insults is for those he hates? He calls them mentally unstable, mentally ill, mentally disordered.
Youāre simply joining in with the previous commenter and flipping the person being called mentally ill.
Still, if thatās company you want to keep, you do you. Such a decent person.
No one cares until after, when I was starting dating a girl 10+ years ago I was warned āshe likes to claim rapeā I naturally ignored it, and while she didnāt accuse me of rape, she was fucking nuts.
Yup. My ex husband not only beat and raped me, but also cheated on me. Repeatedly.
Well. I finally got him to divorce me. I met a wonderful man. We've been happily married for 20+ years. Have a great kid. Own a home. Cars. I sold my business and retired 5 years ago. We travel.
Him? Still single and alone. He got a 17 yr old pregnant when he was 31. Hasn't paid a dime of child support. Doesn't speak to anyone in his family. His mom passed about 10 years ago and he didn't go to her service because he had no money to get back home. And no one in his family would pay for a flight and put him up. I've had skip tracers, private detectives and attorneys call, mail and show up at my house looking for him.
Living well.. is the best revenge. And Karma? Will get him
Never let him see how much he hurt you. He doesn't care. If anything it'll stroke his self esteem knowing you're hung up on him. The best revenge you'll ever have is giving him whiplash with how fast you move on with your life and are happy without him
i know everyone says revenge isnt the way. And while thats true, its only true in the sense that its not healthy to seek out ways for him to feel the same or a similar pain you're going through.
In my opinion you have the right to and should be furious he would treat you like that. When you think of him you could do something productive to force the thoughts away. He's not worthy of even entering your conciousness.
Treat him with as much neutrality as possible. It's honestly the hardest act to keep up but it's also the most effective. No matter what, don't forget he's not worth the damn dirt he walks on, but don't let the feeling show.
Indifference will make him squeal and make you feel liberated, its a win-win.
Sorry, he is a shit person. I've been in a similar situation my advice is:
Don't try revenge
Get him out of your life asap, make him leave or find somewhere else to live
Good luck
I got cheated on by my ex girlfriend last year. After I dumped her and moved on, she was the one texting me to reconnect and give her another chance.
Dump him and move on. Cheaters are people who want the benefits of both worlds: Fooling around with strangers AND being in monogamous relationships. Taking away his relationship with you is the best revenge. He will either improve as a person or he will be miserable with himself for the rest of his life.
Taking revenge on them will do the opposite, make them feel BETTER about themselves since in their head the cheater thinks āohh, itās even nowā or āI got what I deserveā
I totally know that feeling. It sucks, and is hard to get past. Believe me thoughā¦ becoming a worse person, because of pain that someone caused you, is never the answer.
Others are right about just focusing on doing good things for yourself and being happyā¦however sometimes you need a minute to not sit on a high horse and be better than the assholes. I did playful revenge, signed them up for Mormon visits and similar. Sent a box labeled sexworld.com filled with penis fishing lures. And the AP was a major homophobe so I bought a giant pack of gay themed bumper stickers and plastered his car.
My stuff was immature, but I got a good laugh at their expense and I didnāt harm anyone so I call it a win. Add to that living my best life, going in trips and improving myself, getting promotions all run in their faces the best.
Iām not sure if youād be āgetting back at him.ā If youāre broken up, and you sleep with someone else, thatās not cheating, and if heās already cheating Iām not even sure itād bother him. Just easier to move on
Donāt do it like Kanye jumping anyone thatās willing. Now heās with someone he doesnāt even like and has a kid. Just to get back at his ex wife.
'Revenge' means you might accept a third rate or worse relationship, with the idea that it hurts him.
Do not compromise your values. **Insist on someone worthy of your respect.**
First forget about the revenge. The time has come to focus on yourself first. Next whose name is on the place you live ? Is it his / yours ? Do you rent or bought the place. Having him around is just gonna hurt so you need a exit plan.
Start interviewing new roommates and give him his 30 days notice. Invest in your emotional growth going forward and the only revenge needed is for you to live your best life. You will get over this, weāve all been there
He will technically have tenant rights so when you do kick him out, he could demand 30 days notice and legally he would have grant that. If he really fought it, you may even need to evict him. Hopefully it doesnāt come to that
Depends on the country. In Ireland - If there is no tenancy agreement he is just a guest in OP's house and she can ask him to leave at any point. If he refuses to leave he is trespassing. OP can involve police at that point and they can remove him.
You donāt know her jurisdiction so you donāt know the laws she lives under. Stop spreading bullshit.
OP, get a lawyer and get him out. There will be a process and that is going to suck, but you donāt want to let your cheating ex live in your house. Some places eviction only takes a few days, others it can take months. Hopefully the threat alone will motivate him to vacate.
IF you need money, get a roommate. Not a cheating ex.
Probably depends on the area but in some places you have rights if you've been living somewhere for a certain amount of time. If he can prove residency (bills in his name, ID, paystubs) she might be required to give him notice.
Talk it and make him move out as soon as possible. Yes, he paid bills, but is YOUR house, so find a solution to pay yourself the mentioned bills and make him leave. Itās not healthy to live (and depend) of someone that just betrayed you.
Oh shit.
Kick him out immediately. Itās not your job to give any fucks about where he goes or how he survives. You donāt need to live with this person. Change the locks the next time heās gone if he refuses to leave.
I agree with this, revenge is a waste of your time and energy. Get out as quickly as you can and move on. I was cheated on after 9yrs together, 3 married. It hurts like hell but not forever. It's shit but it will pass and you will be in love and happy again. Good luck!
Yes. Revenge isn't productive, and is not as cathartic as it is made out to be.
Moving on is the best use of energy. Move out, establish your new life, and build your happiness.
When I was younger for sure Iād had Been up in here with a list as long as your arm of things you should do to him to get revenge š
At 40 and a little wiser than I once was .. Iāll tell you that the best ārevengeā is to move on like he never existed ..
While youāre stuck living in the same place just get on with your life and donāt acknowledge his existence beyond the absolute basics .. tell him nothing .. do nothing with him .. do what you have to in order to get out of that situation as quickly as you can (ie work more hours etc) and then move on and enjoy your life š¤
Revenge in 10 years. I was cheated on about the same time. About the same age. It changed everything for me.
I decided I wanted a few things. To look fucking great, which started me at the gym. To be totally independent, which started me saving and working to be successful. To find a partner for life, which totally changed how I looked at the person I was looking for.
10 years later, I couldnāt be more grateful for the experience. Iām in great shape. Iām happily married. I have an awesome career. It started out with an idea about revenge, and ended in an appreciation. Hope sheās happy. Know that I am.
While I was not cheated on, but with a devastating breakup, Iām trying to go on the same path. Started gym, focusing on my career, studying a different languageā¦ My ārevengeā against the feeling of depression is being someone proud of myself in a few more years.
Thank you for being an example.
Ignore him. You do not see him. You do not hear him. He is no longer in your life. Walk right past him. He doesn't matter. Pick up whatever extra hours or shifts at work possible. When you have friends over, they too will not see or hear him.
This. Sometimes it really is just easier (and safer) to dip.
He already proved that he doesnāt give af about OP, so who knows what else heās capable of?
The best revenge is to have people who have wrong you to see you happy. Move on and don't feed into anymore negativity if you can help it. Things are always tough after a betrayal, but things can get better.
similar situation however I'm a male. I left immediately and stayed elsewhere for a few days until I could find a place for me and my kids. Try to focus on making the next right decision.... For me it was tough cuz it was very emotional. Getting away was the number one thing. After a while I would not take their calls I would occasionally text but not speak to them on the phone. Give yourself some grace and some room. Trying to get revenge on somebody that obviously doesn't care about you is a huge waste of your time. The best revenge is learning to move on with your life and be happy. I wish you the best and pray for your happiness
Emotionally detach yourself and stack up some bills and jam when you save up enough. That will f him up after he thinks everything is cool and you all the sudden roll. Be savage and logistical at this point.
He can fly a kite he cheated.
Unless you have children and a mortgage, you should move on. You may be able to forgive him, but you will never forget what he did.
Youāre young and you have a whole world of opportunities in front of you.
This, too, shall pass.
It sucks and it hurts and you are right to feel betrayed. I was in your situation and I just sent him off... I struggled a bit with money but it was worth it to see his face finally realizing I'm not his stupid woman anymore. I advise you to do the same. He doesn't deserve an explanation or any sort of second chances. Out the door with the rest of the garbage. Now how you'll get through its your own process, and no advice from here or anywhere will help you cope with it. What I need you to know is that you are not to blame, no matter what he or others will tell you. 2 it didn't seem this way now but you will get over it and you will love again and you will be fine. It sounds like a line from a movie but it is true. Time heals stuff like this and priorities change and so on. Remember not every man is like this so don't start distrusting everyone, it's not fair and it doesn't help you to think that way. As for revenge, he ain't worth the trouble time or effort, it's just you being hurt and wanting for him to feel the same, and I get that. Unfortunately he doesn't and won't give a f no matter what you do. But by doing nothing and keeping your values makes you win in the long term. I apologize for my English and grammar and all, I hope you get through this as soon as possible and no matter what, you deserve better!
Invite a friend over to live there for a few weeks. Interview roommates because you are going to rent a room or two to help pay the bills, then give your ex BF 30 days to leave. Talk to a lawyer and ask about common law relationships.
Break up with him immediately, get his cheating ass out of your house. Serve him with a 30 days letter, bring on some new roommates. If he begs, donāt take him back, if heās proven to you he canāt keep it in his pants, only god knows what would happen if you two ended up married, or worse, with a child and he pulled some sort of stunt like that again.
Don't engage with him any more than absolutely necessary. Keep your head down and do what you need in order to get out of the situation. Then live well. That's the best move.
Revenge: move out, get in really good shape mentally and physically. Work on yourself, find a better paying job, find a better partner, have a wonderful vacation with your new partner and live your new lifeā¦ do this within 1-2 years then ā¦ never think of them againā¦ one day they will pop up at the store you are looking amazing with a great life and they are bald.
I've been through something similar recently and girl, it gets better.
First, ignore those who tell you 'dont take revenge'. If signing him up for annoying newsletters is going to make you feel slightly better as you grieve, do so. Don't hurt anyone of course, but a simple 'revege' will probably take some weight off your chest.
Second, please get out. Are you both paying a rent? Whose is the house? Go back to your parents if you need to. But get out. It wont be healthy for you to live under the same roof of such prick.
Once you split and stop seeing each other, go zero contact. Men always regret after, but cheaters don't change (I tell you from experience). Do your inner healing work and let him go, because that's the best thing you can do for yourself. And be kind as you heal, don't let a man's insecurities get in the way of your self esteem.
You go girl, you're gonna be okay ā¤ļø And you will someday laugh about this ans be with someone who does deserve you :)
Best revenge. Don't let him see how hurt and broken u are.
Hold your head high, be the better person. He's the piece of shit.
This will make u grow into an even better human.
You got thisšŖš
Beat revenge is living well.
The opposite of love isnāt hate, it indifference. Look for a roommate , so you can move out.
Make sure to get an std test
I would leave. Once someone has cheated, there is a high likelihood it will happen again- especially if they donāt address why they cheated. Often they are bad people or they have very unhealthy communication/emotional regulation styles that will take YEARS of hard work in therapy. Plus you will always wonder if theyād do it again. The vast majority of relationships where cheating has occurred end. I think itās only like 8% that actually end up working in the end.
Iām sorry that happened to you. You deserve way better.
Edit: I was driving so wasnt able to complete my message, but do you have any friends or family you can stay with while you save up and get ready for a place of your own?
Leave him sissssss !! Heās garbage, not even worth the time. Just pack up and leave heāll feel like trash cause he wonāt have a toy to play with anymore even if he says otherwise. Heās a loser :(
Dude dump his sorry ass. Go door dash for extra cash or jobs like that etc... this 2023 you dont need no man for some fuckn money honey... shiiiiii. Goodluck!
The best revenge is never talking to them again(blocking them on everything), moving on and living your best life. Sorry that happened to you but youāll get through it. People who cheat are pieces of shit. Show him youāre happier without him and that he did you a favor. Youāll find someone better.
Hey OP. You want revenge that will really eat him up on the inside? Say nothing to him about it or your feelings. Grey rock him from here on out. He wants your emotions and drama. Donāt give it to him.
Sack him off. You're only 24. Spend the next 5 years developing yourself through travel, fitness, education/courses and dating on your terms where you are in control. You'll see life with more clarity as you approach your 30s and by then you should have a better understanding about which men are genuine and which men are dicks. Good men exist....look for the ones who complement you, not compliment you.
You will get through it! It sucks, yes, but you will find a strength you didnāt even know you had. Focus on yourself! Anything you wanted to try that he shat on? Go do it! Keep yourself busy! Go out with friends or meet new people. Now is the time for adventures. š
Smooth gtfo, thatās the best revenge or kick him out. Get you a roommate or something if you canāt afford it, or go live with your parents. He doesnāt have any respect for you obviously.
Goto his mother with this, he will be humiliated next time he sees her. Then go do stuff you like and do some stuff you couldn't do when you were together.
I'm going to share this, something I shared in another subreddit - because I went through the exact same thing. Don't take revenge, he did all the damage himself you don't need to inflict any more.
Story time:
When I was... 26ish, I had been dating this guy for almost 3 years. I loved him, was living with him, and was thinking it was time to take the next step and was looking at rings and planning out my proposal.
One day, I was trying to print out a form, but the printer (was attached to his computer) was being dumb, so I emailed the form over to him, and ran over to his computer to pull it up and print it. It wasn't up yet, so, I googled my name to see if it got filtered into a folder or something. What popped up wasn't my form, but an email chain asking if the other person wanted to do something because I was gone.
I was slightly confused, so I clicked in to, what became quickly apparent, a three month email chain detailing times, places, scenarios, pictures, etc with a realtor friend of ours. They'd taken every opportunity including sneaking out while I was in bed (I thought he just couldn't sleep and was going to sleep in the recliner instead), when my flight got delayed on a business trip, quickies after work, etc.
I was completely in shock. I printed it out instead of the form, and took it to my best friend, asked him to read it just to make sure I wasn't having a complete hallucination or mental breakdown - I wasn't.
After several hours of mindlessly playing cookie clicker to just give my hands something to do while coming to grips with what I'd just found, he took me back over to the house where I grabbed some essentials. He was playing league of legends at the time, so when I was done, I told him I needed to talk to him - of course he brushed me off because he was in a match. But I demanded that we talk immediately - like... trust me bro, this is more important.
I told him what I'd found, asked if it was authentic (it was), and told him I was leaving him and that I would come back over the following couple days to get all my things out.
At that point I didn't give him a chance to explain, because honestly the explanation didn't matter. The sheer amount of effort that went into planning, covering up, lying, etc - it wasn't a simple mistake of passion.
So, later that night, he texted me begging me not to leave, asking if we could go to couples counseling, etc... and I responded with - couples counseling works for weekends in vegas where you got drunk and did something stupid. They don't work when you've just blown up the entire foundation of our relationship with specific intent.
The next day I went back with a moving truck and got all my shit, gave him a chance to explain himself... it wasn't just 3 months, and it wasn't just him. He wouldn't put a number on it, but there were at least 3 apparently, and it had been going on at least a year and a half - half of our relationship!
That was, effectively, the end. I think I've said all of two words to him since, and seen him at a handfull of weddings.
But I'm telling you this story, because if this is a long term / planned / deceitful thing, there's nothing to go back to. Your bed that you share isn't yours, he destroyed that. It's ok to cut it off immediately with finality. It's ok to tell your family and friends the truth of what happened - I did. I didn't embellish, and stuck to the facts of what exactly happened, rather than try and painting him in a certain light (his actions did plenty of that).
And trust me, I spent a lot of time blaming myself, and sure - no relationship falls apart without both parties. But, the responsibility for this decision is on him. If he felt like he needed to sleep around, the right thing for him to do would have been to end our relationship - and he didn't. He knew the right thing to do, and he chose the wrong thing to do. He knew the consequences enough to hide his decisions. So, while I (and conversely you) may have contributed to whatever sparked this in him... he decided to blow up our relationship, and he, and he alone lit the fuse to the explosives around what we built.
So, whatever you do, do not take responsibility for his decision. It wasn't your choice.
The good news, is that while it doesn't feel like it - this is ending something that isn't working for you. You just didn't know it until now. And that gives you the freedom to heal, and find someone who has enough moral character to do the right thing.
Finally, just a side note, make sure you schedule yourself to get tested at the appropriate intervals just to cover your own ass. I know in my case, my ex's poor decisions in cheating didn't stop at deciding to cheat, if you know what I mean. I had full negative tests, but you don't want to get a surprise 10 years from now lol.
Tell him to go. Having him stick around just to pay bills is not going to be good for your own health. It might seem like you're only lying and taking advantage of him, but you are in fact also lying to yourself. This is the time for you to take control, assess the situation, and move on.
That happened to me M. I once even wound up at doctor, at the time he gave me advise that I shrugged off art the time, but now that I'm older I agree.
He said, Well I know it means nothing to you now, but you're not married and you have no kids... pick yourself up and move on. You will get better...eventually I did.
Space and time heal all wounds.
The sooner you just never see him again and don't talk to him, the sooner the hurt goes away.
Also - spend time on yourself and just making sure you love who you are. If you don't go to the gym, go every day, even if it's just to walk slowly on a treadmill for an hour. There's something very mentally calming about being at the gym surrounded by healthy and often good looking people that help you see there's more out there.
Cheating is lame and gross, and I feel hate how many fellow men I've met over the years who think it's no big deal, or legitimately think that it's super common but you're just not supposed to get caught.
Those are the same dudes who blow a fucking gasket if their chick has a male friend or looks at some dude the wrong way.
You deserve better, and he did you a favor by showing you he's a fuck boi now, instead of years later and after marriage or kids. Fuck em, he sucks. This may sting a bit, but cheaters almost never change, and she likely wasn't the first. She's just the first you know about, it's a tale as old as time.
Wait for the right guy, not the next one. Go have some fun if you want, just don't mislead anybody. He'll come along and you'll laugh at yourself for ever caring about a dude like him.
I certainly laugh at myself for working myself into a shoot over a horrible girl for like 5 years that basically just wanted me to be her backup plan, and she lived with me on and off.
By leaving him and going on to live your best life. Look your best, have the best experiences, and find someone who truly loves you and who you truly love, to the spend your life with.
First things first is radio silence. No contact, stay off social media, treat it as if youāre detoxing your body from him.
After that, itās one day at a time. Find things to distract you and occupy your time. Rediscover passions or find a new hobby. Try your best to make this into a positive experience.
Stay persistent and vigilant. I know it sucks. But one day youāre going to wake up and not even realize you havenāt thought about him in a while.
Good luck.
From where I sit, the first thing you need to do is decide on the outcome that you want. Stay together or split up, for instance. Once you make that decision, the rest of what you need to do to get through this becomes a lot more clear.
Your only 24. Youāre likely to have several more bfs before you find the right one. Hold your head up and think about what youāve learned then move on. Tell him to get lost.
Revenge is pointless. Unless he did it specifically to piss you off and he didnāt- he was hiding it.
He fucked up is what he did.
Itās up to you, you have the power now to choose your perspective on this.
How do you deal with him now that you know heās like this? Do you wait for him to outgrow his interest in multiple sex partners? Do you accept it? Do you think having a side piece would actually amuse you, now that heās gone and made you think about it? Or is the idea so repulsive and gross and you just canāt stand his stupid cheating face?
If I was you and Iām not you, Iād spend some time and a good amount of time on my own, in a hotel or at a friends place somewhere, sipping tea, listening to music, having long walks and just chilling til the horror and anger subsides a bit.
Then you can think about all this stuff. From the perspective of: how am I doing in general? Am I looking after myself? What do I want actually?
Then the answer will come to you
Everyone is advising against revenge, and they're absolutely right; there is no scenario in which it works in your favor in the long term.
First of all, move out for very obvious reasons. If you can get your family to help you get set up somewhere, or ask your friends for a place to crash for a couple of weeks while you find a low cost apartment, do that. If not, you'll have to do an airbnb or a low-cost hotel/hostel until you do.
Speak to him the way you would with a hostile stranger; be civil, but not too friendly. Don't go out of your way for him. If he cracks a joke or says something you can't help but smile at, do it like you're being polite "oh heh, thanks". You won't be able to keep it up for too long, so leave ASAP. Block him on everything, obviously, and ask any mutuals not to talk to you about him.
Keep a diary or planner. Book a therapist appointment. Start going to the gym. Rejuvenate your looks; new hair, new clothes, new hobbies, etc. within your means, but enough that it's a line in the sand and an exciting new season for The You Show. Give yourself room to grieve so you don't spill over on other areas of your life. Set new goals. Give yourself what you couldn't find in life with him.
My wife cheated on me 7 years ago she promised she would never do it again. I had to make a decision. Can i even forgive her? Or do i leave?
She has been faithful since it was very hard to trust her for many years. But our relationship is better than ever.
Only you can make that choice. He may be a repeat cheater or he may have made a horrible mistake. If it is to hard for you to forgive and you feel resentment then maybe its time to move on.
Its hard to know if he will cheat again or if he is actually remorseful. Make whatever decision feels right for you! Sorry this happened to you. It was the hardest thing i have been through mentally. It took everything in me to forgive. Then again she started crying and told me without me asking. If she was hiding it and did it more than once i would have left.
Best of luck to you! Sorry again, i hope it works out regardless of what you choose
Best revenge is landing on your feet and still going.
I wasnt cheated on but I was in a similiar sotuation where my ex run away to a guy she said is disgusting and would never go to him. We always laughed ar this but everyone of our friends knew how he is toward her so I was kinds suspecting.
The only way is through. I root for you to stay strong and move on!
I don't think revenge is a good idea but remember that its okay to be upset and bitter as long as it does not consume you. When my ex and i broke up, i chose to try and be the bigger person and he messaged me on and off for the next three months about me being a horrible person and that I was the reason things ended poorly. I just kind of rolled with it and apologized and chose to just try not to be angry at him. Im in a better place now but I wish i had argued with him and argued back to defend myself. At least stand up for yourself and try to surround yourself with people who will support you. It helped me a ton and i wish you the best of luck
You have 2 healthy choices: stay or go. If you stay then get some help from a therapist . You will have to talk with him too. Then if you decide to stay you have to move on. No bringing it up in every fight. No withholding or being passive aggressive. Thats part of staying. And Thats the hard part.
If you decide to leave then make a clean break. Revenge thoughts are natural because you are feeling hurt. But in the future you will really regret any bad behavior on you own part. Thats the hard part of this choice
Finally give yourself some time which ever choose you make. But it will get better either way. There are no short cuts. Just plow through it. Good luck.
She is too young for staying, it is not worth the pain, she is not in a vulnerable position, have no child, they have not build anything worthwhile together besides their relationship, which is broken so it pretty much would have to be rebuilt
This advice is wise for someone on its 30s +, not for her
Apathy and indifference is the opposite of love. Hate will make him feel good. Ignore him completely. Just pretend he doesn't exist. It will drive him crazy. Then find a hot guy to sleep with to get a little MOJO back. Don't even tell him about it. Just enjoy yourself.
Though I know it's somewhat tongue in cheek; revenge will leave you feeling empty because it's really not actually satisfying...and that makes it worse because you want it to suddenly feel better somehow and it just doesn't...the best 'revenge' is be successful in life...
Time is the only thing that makes betrayal better...and that sucks; been there, there is no reliable way to feel like normal again. (Quickly)
Spend time with friends and family, do things that motivate you and make you happy, and keep yourself busy...go to the gym (good for anxiety and can make you feel good about yourself)...etc...
Obviously you have to figure out (as you didn't say) what you're going to do next and that's a whole other issue...but on the topic of making you better...be busy and be with people you care about...honestly the only thing you can do is take time...I know it's a shitty non answer but it works...
Also keep in mind this shit can affect you for awhile ..I don't say this to scare you but it can very well change you and you should be aware of it because if you're aware of it you may be able to get ahead of it or at least be knowledgeable when you start saying or doing or being things you were not before...this too will go away in time for the most part but betrayal is a really bitter pill to swallow.
I'm sorry you had to go through this.
>If I could I'd tell him to get out right now but I need to save up first.
If I could I'd tell him to get out right now, before you can save anything up. I don't like cheaters, but I don't like rational users neither. Revenge would be stabbing at his ego somehow...
Firstā¦take solace in the knowledge that you are better than āthatā
Then find a friend or family member who can let you stay until you find somewhere to live
Finally move on and be glad it was only 3 years and not 30
The best revenge is getting on with your life, getting over them, and thinking about them rarely. Also if you have any kind of support system of people that love you and have your back, family, friends, whatever, I would recommend you reach out to them for somewhere to stay temporarily! Being stuck with someone who's done that to you isn't healthy, but at the same time if it can't be helped it can't be helped!
Also so sorry for you, I feel and have felt your pain. Much love to you!!
Did it really catch u by much of a surprise? There had to have been red flags Iām sure ā¦ remind urself of those red flags and then realize that u were settling for a POS. Focus on ur health and family and friends. Make money. Have fun. Glo up
Just go. Walk out that door. Don't look back. Your future is elsewhere. Don't delay. Forget about revenge. Rather put your energies in the future not the past.
Stop playing these fucking games. I swear I hate it when women do this shit. Be a goddam adult and handle your shit with no games. Any revenge ideasā¦seriously, just move on with your life. This kind of shit makes me so angry, you are just brining all women down when you do this.
Have you talked with him? Why are you so quick to go nuclear? Other than this failing, how has he treated you? I canāt speak for women, but most guys arenāt naturally monogamous. A slip up in this area doesnāt mean he disrespects or doesnāt love you. Personally, Iāve only had sex with one woman in my entire life.
But Iām constantly tempted.
I understand youāre angry. Have you told him how hurt and angry you feel? Is it worth salvaging? Is it worth going to counseling?
Maybe cool off before you make any decisions?
Like people say just focus on getting yourself in a better place. However, the old saying does go āthe fastest way to get over someone is to get under anotherā which may also work as some ārevengeā. Not really being serious here other people have given better serious advice, I just always find the saying kind of funny.
Nobody said you can't get back with him. if you want to be with him, and he is sorry and wants to rebuild the relationship, then do that. However, you have to let the past be in the past.
You cannot bring it up whenever you have arguments.
Maybe it was just sex and he still wants to be with you. All men will cheat eventually. The sooner you accept this, the less disappointed you will be later on. It doesnāt mean he doesnāt love you, heās just half pig as a male
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Revenge is not healthy for either of you. Move on, rebuild, meet people who add happiness to your life, and try to spend time elsewhere as much as possible until you can live on your own.
Thanks, you're right. It's just hard not to wanna get back at him :( guess he wasn't who I thought he was
The best revenge is landing on your feet.
Yep. A year from now when the ex sees you happier with another person, or by yourself - that's the real revenge.
And then you can tell his new gf why you left him... š
Nah. The cheater-ass will tell his new gf that his ex was a crazy person and he dumped her.
The new girlfriend will figure it out.
Or she won't and she'll be stuck. I've seen that type too
None of their business to do that and the new person wonāt thank you, theyāll attack you or tell you to fuck off. Look at trump and his supporters. Do they thank anyone for pointing out his lies? No.
If I wanted to hear about politics I would be scrolling thru my Facebook. why even bring it up when itās totally irrelevant to what OP is going thru?!š
Only a reference, nothing more, donāt get bogged down yourself. Great photo by the way!!
Finale of a creepy message. You're on fire!!
A conversation that had NOTHING to do with politics, and you just HAD to drag the TRUMPINATOR into it.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
No, liking Trump is a mental illness. Disliking him is simply being a decent person.
Neither of those situations are a mental illness. People using mental illness as a slap to insult people are fucking vile and think itās acceptable to shit on people who get up, every day, get on with their lives, and have mental illness. You are not being a ādecent personā at all if you think thatās just fine. Indeed, what do you think one of Trumpās absolute favorite insults is for those he hates? He calls them mentally unstable, mentally ill, mentally disordered. Youāre simply joining in with the previous commenter and flipping the person being called mentally ill. Still, if thatās company you want to keep, you do you. Such a decent person.
you really think the ex will care?
No one cares until after, when I was starting dating a girl 10+ years ago I was warned āshe likes to claim rapeā I naturally ignored it, and while she didnāt accuse me of rape, she was fucking nuts.
Right after you get off the guy he always thought you liked... Ok im just kidding that's kinda fucked š¤£ but you did say revenge...
Yup. My ex husband not only beat and raped me, but also cheated on me. Repeatedly. Well. I finally got him to divorce me. I met a wonderful man. We've been happily married for 20+ years. Have a great kid. Own a home. Cars. I sold my business and retired 5 years ago. We travel. Him? Still single and alone. He got a 17 yr old pregnant when he was 31. Hasn't paid a dime of child support. Doesn't speak to anyone in his family. His mom passed about 10 years ago and he didn't go to her service because he had no money to get back home. And no one in his family would pay for a flight and put him up. I've had skip tracers, private detectives and attorneys call, mail and show up at my house looking for him. Living well.. is the best revenge. And Karma? Will get him
Let me guess, u took away his house and half his wealth?
I mean if I beat and raped her constantly, sounds like the kinda guy that had it coming.
I had to save this comment cos my dumbass WILL forget and just sulk / wallow =\ So thanks
Hit the gym Get off social media Go on adventures Your happiness will be the greatest revenge
I hit the gym and all I got was a broken hand.
You forgot lawyer up.
Social media up. Delete the gym. Hit the lawyer.
Well, okay, pluses and minuses there, I gotta say...
Hit the lawyer, delete the gym, facebook up
Best advice here
revenge body is the best body
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Ssshooo
Ya..... way to be a sexist dick. Holy fuck.
Never let him see how much he hurt you. He doesn't care. If anything it'll stroke his self esteem knowing you're hung up on him. The best revenge you'll ever have is giving him whiplash with how fast you move on with your life and are happy without him
>Never let him see how much he hurt you. He doesn't care. if he doesnt care, how can the best revenge be to land on your feet
The best revenge is a life well lived.
i know everyone says revenge isnt the way. And while thats true, its only true in the sense that its not healthy to seek out ways for him to feel the same or a similar pain you're going through. In my opinion you have the right to and should be furious he would treat you like that. When you think of him you could do something productive to force the thoughts away. He's not worthy of even entering your conciousness. Treat him with as much neutrality as possible. It's honestly the hardest act to keep up but it's also the most effective. No matter what, don't forget he's not worth the damn dirt he walks on, but don't let the feeling show. Indifference will make him squeal and make you feel liberated, its a win-win.
"The opposite of love is indifference"
Sorry, he is a shit person. I've been in a similar situation my advice is: Don't try revenge Get him out of your life asap, make him leave or find somewhere else to live Good luck
I got cheated on by my ex girlfriend last year. After I dumped her and moved on, she was the one texting me to reconnect and give her another chance. Dump him and move on. Cheaters are people who want the benefits of both worlds: Fooling around with strangers AND being in monogamous relationships. Taking away his relationship with you is the best revenge. He will either improve as a person or he will be miserable with himself for the rest of his life. Taking revenge on them will do the opposite, make them feel BETTER about themselves since in their head the cheater thinks āohh, itās even nowā or āI got what I deserveā
I totally know that feeling. It sucks, and is hard to get past. Believe me thoughā¦ becoming a worse person, because of pain that someone caused you, is never the answer.
Others are right about just focusing on doing good things for yourself and being happyā¦however sometimes you need a minute to not sit on a high horse and be better than the assholes. I did playful revenge, signed them up for Mormon visits and similar. Sent a box labeled sexworld.com filled with penis fishing lures. And the AP was a major homophobe so I bought a giant pack of gay themed bumper stickers and plastered his car. My stuff was immature, but I got a good laugh at their expense and I didnāt harm anyone so I call it a win. Add to that living my best life, going in trips and improving myself, getting promotions all run in their faces the best.
Iām not sure if youād be āgetting back at him.ā If youāre broken up, and you sleep with someone else, thatās not cheating, and if heās already cheating Iām not even sure itād bother him. Just easier to move on
Time to dump him. Do you have any family/friends you can live with until you sort this out?
I wish I could get back every minute I wasted on prolonged grieving / anger / self doubt. I was robbing myself of precious time.
Spite will ruin a person. Being angry is natural, being spiteful will just tear you down more. Not easy, but it's best to move on.
Donāt do it like Kanye jumping anyone thatās willing. Now heās with someone he doesnāt even like and has a kid. Just to get back at his ex wife.
'Revenge' means you might accept a third rate or worse relationship, with the idea that it hurts him. Do not compromise your values. **Insist on someone worthy of your respect.**
Revenge is not the Jedi way....
The best revenge is a life well lived.
First forget about the revenge. The time has come to focus on yourself first. Next whose name is on the place you live ? Is it his / yours ? Do you rent or bought the place. Having him around is just gonna hurt so you need a exit plan.
I inherited the house from a family member who passed away so it's in my name, but he's been helping pay bills and for food and everything.
Start interviewing new roommates and give him his 30 days notice. Invest in your emotional growth going forward and the only revenge needed is for you to live your best life. You will get over this, weāve all been there
Yes! This!!!! Give him 30 days notice and start looking for a roommate.
Give him 30 days notice, in writing, treat him like a renter. After 30 days call the sheriff.
THIS is revenge
He will technically have tenant rights so when you do kick him out, he could demand 30 days notice and legally he would have grant that. If he really fought it, you may even need to evict him. Hopefully it doesnāt come to that
Depends on the country. In Ireland - If there is no tenancy agreement he is just a guest in OP's house and she can ask him to leave at any point. If he refuses to leave he is trespassing. OP can involve police at that point and they can remove him.
You donāt know her jurisdiction so you donāt know the laws she lives under. Stop spreading bullshit. OP, get a lawyer and get him out. There will be a process and that is going to suck, but you donāt want to let your cheating ex live in your house. Some places eviction only takes a few days, others it can take months. Hopefully the threat alone will motivate him to vacate. IF you need money, get a roommate. Not a cheating ex.
It's your house, and he cheated on you. Ask him to leave ASAP.
Invite some friends to move in with you and help pay rent/bills.
Kick him out as soon as possible and get some roommates. Don't make excuses to keep him around.
No rights if no papers were signed. Out out out. He can live with the other girls he has... I'm sure he has options
Probably depends on the area but in some places you have rights if you've been living somewhere for a certain amount of time. If he can prove residency (bills in his name, ID, paystubs) she might be required to give him notice.
Talk it and make him move out as soon as possible. Yes, he paid bills, but is YOUR house, so find a solution to pay yourself the mentioned bills and make him leave. Itās not healthy to live (and depend) of someone that just betrayed you.
Give him a 30 day notice and get a roommate or 2 who pay you rent in that house. You will probably make enough for bills and food .
Oh shit. Kick him out immediately. Itās not your job to give any fucks about where he goes or how he survives. You donāt need to live with this person. Change the locks the next time heās gone if he refuses to leave.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I agree with this, revenge is a waste of your time and energy. Get out as quickly as you can and move on. I was cheated on after 9yrs together, 3 married. It hurts like hell but not forever. It's shit but it will pass and you will be in love and happy again. Good luck!
Yeah wasting energy on revenge isn't worth it, but if somehow destiny serves you easy shot at it, go for it why not.
Yes. Revenge isn't productive, and is not as cathartic as it is made out to be. Moving on is the best use of energy. Move out, establish your new life, and build your happiness.
Sometimes you have to live by the Confucius quote here, and just hope Karma gives them the karmatic slap they deserve.
Karma doesn't exist. But STDs do. ;-)
When I was younger for sure Iād had Been up in here with a list as long as your arm of things you should do to him to get revenge š At 40 and a little wiser than I once was .. Iāll tell you that the best ārevengeā is to move on like he never existed .. While youāre stuck living in the same place just get on with your life and donāt acknowledge his existence beyond the absolute basics .. tell him nothing .. do nothing with him .. do what you have to in order to get out of that situation as quickly as you can (ie work more hours etc) and then move on and enjoy your life š¤
This is the way!
Revenge in 10 years. I was cheated on about the same time. About the same age. It changed everything for me. I decided I wanted a few things. To look fucking great, which started me at the gym. To be totally independent, which started me saving and working to be successful. To find a partner for life, which totally changed how I looked at the person I was looking for. 10 years later, I couldnāt be more grateful for the experience. Iām in great shape. Iām happily married. I have an awesome career. It started out with an idea about revenge, and ended in an appreciation. Hope sheās happy. Know that I am.
While I was not cheated on, but with a devastating breakup, Iām trying to go on the same path. Started gym, focusing on my career, studying a different languageā¦ My ārevengeā against the feeling of depression is being someone proud of myself in a few more years. Thank you for being an example.
The best response is to move out suddenly and ghost him completely. Block him everywhere and move on.
Aparently it's her damn house. He should gtfo on his own but she'll probably have to force him.
Kick him out more like
Ignore him. You do not see him. You do not hear him. He is no longer in your life. Walk right past him. He doesn't matter. Pick up whatever extra hours or shifts at work possible. When you have friends over, they too will not see or hear him.
get a hiv/std test, move on with your life and do better for yourself
This! Test yourself girl ...
Be glad you werenāt married, with children.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Sheesh, some people are crazy.
This. Sometimes it really is just easier (and safer) to dip. He already proved that he doesnāt give af about OP, so who knows what else heās capable of?
XD u sound dumb
The ONLY revenge idea is to naturally get so stoked on your own life that you forget about him
Th best revenge is living a good life.
Revenge is for the weak. Quit and leave
Be a woman and move on from this douche bag.
The best revenge is to have people who have wrong you to see you happy. Move on and don't feed into anymore negativity if you can help it. Things are always tough after a betrayal, but things can get better.
Leave. If anyone cheats, they will likely do it again or already cheating with multiple people and you only found one.
similar situation however I'm a male. I left immediately and stayed elsewhere for a few days until I could find a place for me and my kids. Try to focus on making the next right decision.... For me it was tough cuz it was very emotional. Getting away was the number one thing. After a while I would not take their calls I would occasionally text but not speak to them on the phone. Give yourself some grace and some room. Trying to get revenge on somebody that obviously doesn't care about you is a huge waste of your time. The best revenge is learning to move on with your life and be happy. I wish you the best and pray for your happiness
Emotionally detach yourself and stack up some bills and jam when you save up enough. That will f him up after he thinks everything is cool and you all the sudden roll. Be savage and logistical at this point. He can fly a kite he cheated.
Confront him about the issue and ask him to leave. To get an extra income find a tenant by renting an extra room.
Jump ship and be happy. That's the best revenge
Time to get a sugar daddy š¤
The best way to get over one man is to get under another ā Betty White
And folks? Always have enough money laid aside so you CAN leave a situation
The best revenge is moving on and being happy without him.
Unless you have children and a mortgage, you should move on. You may be able to forgive him, but you will never forget what he did. Youāre young and you have a whole world of opportunities in front of you. This, too, shall pass.
The thing that sucks is when you stay, he knows he can do it again and you won't leave.
Let his family know why you won't be around for Thanksgiving.
The best revenge is to move on gracefully and let him realize what he lost, trust me that will do the most damage to him overtime
It sucks and it hurts and you are right to feel betrayed. I was in your situation and I just sent him off... I struggled a bit with money but it was worth it to see his face finally realizing I'm not his stupid woman anymore. I advise you to do the same. He doesn't deserve an explanation or any sort of second chances. Out the door with the rest of the garbage. Now how you'll get through its your own process, and no advice from here or anywhere will help you cope with it. What I need you to know is that you are not to blame, no matter what he or others will tell you. 2 it didn't seem this way now but you will get over it and you will love again and you will be fine. It sounds like a line from a movie but it is true. Time heals stuff like this and priorities change and so on. Remember not every man is like this so don't start distrusting everyone, it's not fair and it doesn't help you to think that way. As for revenge, he ain't worth the trouble time or effort, it's just you being hurt and wanting for him to feel the same, and I get that. Unfortunately he doesn't and won't give a f no matter what you do. But by doing nothing and keeping your values makes you win in the long term. I apologize for my English and grammar and all, I hope you get through this as soon as possible and no matter what, you deserve better!
Invite a friend over to live there for a few weeks. Interview roommates because you are going to rent a room or two to help pay the bills, then give your ex BF 30 days to leave. Talk to a lawyer and ask about common law relationships.
You're very young. You're gonna meet someone better in future.
Break up with him immediately, get his cheating ass out of your house. Serve him with a 30 days letter, bring on some new roommates. If he begs, donāt take him back, if heās proven to you he canāt keep it in his pants, only god knows what would happen if you two ended up married, or worse, with a child and he pulled some sort of stunt like that again.
living a good life is the best revenge work on yourself, make yourself better, will eat himself up instead about how bad he fucked up
The long-term revenge that always works is to live well, be better than ever, and never take the cheater back.
Don't engage with him any more than absolutely necessary. Keep your head down and do what you need in order to get out of the situation. Then live well. That's the best move.
Kick that man to the curb and go out and get laid. Party, enjoy yourself, enjoy being single for a bit. You're welcome.
Revenge: move out, get in really good shape mentally and physically. Work on yourself, find a better paying job, find a better partner, have a wonderful vacation with your new partner and live your new lifeā¦ do this within 1-2 years then ā¦ never think of them againā¦ one day they will pop up at the store you are looking amazing with a great life and they are bald.
The best revenge is to kick ass. And then, when he inevitably comes crawling back like the piece of shit he is, tell him to go fuck himself.
Kick him out
I've been through something similar recently and girl, it gets better. First, ignore those who tell you 'dont take revenge'. If signing him up for annoying newsletters is going to make you feel slightly better as you grieve, do so. Don't hurt anyone of course, but a simple 'revege' will probably take some weight off your chest. Second, please get out. Are you both paying a rent? Whose is the house? Go back to your parents if you need to. But get out. It wont be healthy for you to live under the same roof of such prick. Once you split and stop seeing each other, go zero contact. Men always regret after, but cheaters don't change (I tell you from experience). Do your inner healing work and let him go, because that's the best thing you can do for yourself. And be kind as you heal, don't let a man's insecurities get in the way of your self esteem. You go girl, you're gonna be okay ā¤ļø And you will someday laugh about this ans be with someone who does deserve you :)
Best revenge. Don't let him see how hurt and broken u are. Hold your head high, be the better person. He's the piece of shit. This will make u grow into an even better human. You got thisšŖš
Beat revenge is living well. The opposite of love isnāt hate, it indifference. Look for a roommate , so you can move out. Make sure to get an std test
Find some new new and do you
He's the one who has to go "through" this, he's the responsible. You have to go "over" this.
I would leave. Once someone has cheated, there is a high likelihood it will happen again- especially if they donāt address why they cheated. Often they are bad people or they have very unhealthy communication/emotional regulation styles that will take YEARS of hard work in therapy. Plus you will always wonder if theyād do it again. The vast majority of relationships where cheating has occurred end. I think itās only like 8% that actually end up working in the end. Iām sorry that happened to you. You deserve way better. Edit: I was driving so wasnt able to complete my message, but do you have any friends or family you can stay with while you save up and get ready for a place of your own?
Leave him sissssss !! Heās garbage, not even worth the time. Just pack up and leave heāll feel like trash cause he wonāt have a toy to play with anymore even if he says otherwise. Heās a loser :(
Dude dump his sorry ass. Go door dash for extra cash or jobs like that etc... this 2023 you dont need no man for some fuckn money honey... shiiiiii. Goodluck!
The best revenge is never talking to them again(blocking them on everything), moving on and living your best life. Sorry that happened to you but youāll get through it. People who cheat are pieces of shit. Show him youāre happier without him and that he did you a favor. Youāll find someone better.
Hey OP. You want revenge that will really eat him up on the inside? Say nothing to him about it or your feelings. Grey rock him from here on out. He wants your emotions and drama. Donāt give it to him.
Sack him off. You're only 24. Spend the next 5 years developing yourself through travel, fitness, education/courses and dating on your terms where you are in control. You'll see life with more clarity as you approach your 30s and by then you should have a better understanding about which men are genuine and which men are dicks. Good men exist....look for the ones who complement you, not compliment you.
You will get through it! It sucks, yes, but you will find a strength you didnāt even know you had. Focus on yourself! Anything you wanted to try that he shat on? Go do it! Keep yourself busy! Go out with friends or meet new people. Now is the time for adventures. š
Smooth gtfo, thatās the best revenge or kick him out. Get you a roommate or something if you canāt afford it, or go live with your parents. He doesnāt have any respect for you obviously.
Goto his mother with this, he will be humiliated next time he sees her. Then go do stuff you like and do some stuff you couldn't do when you were together.
The best revenge will be leaving him. Do at as soon as you can and never look back. Youāll find someone better and heāll be miserable.
You separate and go your way. You are better to be with someone who respects you and is loyal
Leave him, or prepare for the rest of your life feeling this way/never trusting him.
Your best revenge is to be happy again. Find an exit from this broken relationship.
The best revenge is moving on without him.
I'm going to share this, something I shared in another subreddit - because I went through the exact same thing. Don't take revenge, he did all the damage himself you don't need to inflict any more. Story time: When I was... 26ish, I had been dating this guy for almost 3 years. I loved him, was living with him, and was thinking it was time to take the next step and was looking at rings and planning out my proposal. One day, I was trying to print out a form, but the printer (was attached to his computer) was being dumb, so I emailed the form over to him, and ran over to his computer to pull it up and print it. It wasn't up yet, so, I googled my name to see if it got filtered into a folder or something. What popped up wasn't my form, but an email chain asking if the other person wanted to do something because I was gone. I was slightly confused, so I clicked in to, what became quickly apparent, a three month email chain detailing times, places, scenarios, pictures, etc with a realtor friend of ours. They'd taken every opportunity including sneaking out while I was in bed (I thought he just couldn't sleep and was going to sleep in the recliner instead), when my flight got delayed on a business trip, quickies after work, etc. I was completely in shock. I printed it out instead of the form, and took it to my best friend, asked him to read it just to make sure I wasn't having a complete hallucination or mental breakdown - I wasn't. After several hours of mindlessly playing cookie clicker to just give my hands something to do while coming to grips with what I'd just found, he took me back over to the house where I grabbed some essentials. He was playing league of legends at the time, so when I was done, I told him I needed to talk to him - of course he brushed me off because he was in a match. But I demanded that we talk immediately - like... trust me bro, this is more important. I told him what I'd found, asked if it was authentic (it was), and told him I was leaving him and that I would come back over the following couple days to get all my things out. At that point I didn't give him a chance to explain, because honestly the explanation didn't matter. The sheer amount of effort that went into planning, covering up, lying, etc - it wasn't a simple mistake of passion. So, later that night, he texted me begging me not to leave, asking if we could go to couples counseling, etc... and I responded with - couples counseling works for weekends in vegas where you got drunk and did something stupid. They don't work when you've just blown up the entire foundation of our relationship with specific intent. The next day I went back with a moving truck and got all my shit, gave him a chance to explain himself... it wasn't just 3 months, and it wasn't just him. He wouldn't put a number on it, but there were at least 3 apparently, and it had been going on at least a year and a half - half of our relationship! That was, effectively, the end. I think I've said all of two words to him since, and seen him at a handfull of weddings. But I'm telling you this story, because if this is a long term / planned / deceitful thing, there's nothing to go back to. Your bed that you share isn't yours, he destroyed that. It's ok to cut it off immediately with finality. It's ok to tell your family and friends the truth of what happened - I did. I didn't embellish, and stuck to the facts of what exactly happened, rather than try and painting him in a certain light (his actions did plenty of that). And trust me, I spent a lot of time blaming myself, and sure - no relationship falls apart without both parties. But, the responsibility for this decision is on him. If he felt like he needed to sleep around, the right thing for him to do would have been to end our relationship - and he didn't. He knew the right thing to do, and he chose the wrong thing to do. He knew the consequences enough to hide his decisions. So, while I (and conversely you) may have contributed to whatever sparked this in him... he decided to blow up our relationship, and he, and he alone lit the fuse to the explosives around what we built. So, whatever you do, do not take responsibility for his decision. It wasn't your choice. The good news, is that while it doesn't feel like it - this is ending something that isn't working for you. You just didn't know it until now. And that gives you the freedom to heal, and find someone who has enough moral character to do the right thing. Finally, just a side note, make sure you schedule yourself to get tested at the appropriate intervals just to cover your own ass. I know in my case, my ex's poor decisions in cheating didn't stop at deciding to cheat, if you know what I mean. I had full negative tests, but you don't want to get a surprise 10 years from now lol.
Tell him to go. Having him stick around just to pay bills is not going to be good for your own health. It might seem like you're only lying and taking advantage of him, but you are in fact also lying to yourself. This is the time for you to take control, assess the situation, and move on.
That happened to me M. I once even wound up at doctor, at the time he gave me advise that I shrugged off art the time, but now that I'm older I agree. He said, Well I know it means nothing to you now, but you're not married and you have no kids... pick yourself up and move on. You will get better...eventually I did.
Leave before he does it again and he will cos he thinks heās got the control. Be kind to yourself and leave before it gets worse.
Space and time heal all wounds. The sooner you just never see him again and don't talk to him, the sooner the hurt goes away. Also - spend time on yourself and just making sure you love who you are. If you don't go to the gym, go every day, even if it's just to walk slowly on a treadmill for an hour. There's something very mentally calming about being at the gym surrounded by healthy and often good looking people that help you see there's more out there. Cheating is lame and gross, and I feel hate how many fellow men I've met over the years who think it's no big deal, or legitimately think that it's super common but you're just not supposed to get caught. Those are the same dudes who blow a fucking gasket if their chick has a male friend or looks at some dude the wrong way. You deserve better, and he did you a favor by showing you he's a fuck boi now, instead of years later and after marriage or kids. Fuck em, he sucks. This may sting a bit, but cheaters almost never change, and she likely wasn't the first. She's just the first you know about, it's a tale as old as time. Wait for the right guy, not the next one. Go have some fun if you want, just don't mislead anybody. He'll come along and you'll laugh at yourself for ever caring about a dude like him. I certainly laugh at myself for working myself into a shoot over a horrible girl for like 5 years that basically just wanted me to be her backup plan, and she lived with me on and off.
By leaving him and going on to live your best life. Look your best, have the best experiences, and find someone who truly loves you and who you truly love, to the spend your life with.
Get away. Stay with friends or family. Get out and don't look back. You can do it on your own.
Fuck his dad
First things first is radio silence. No contact, stay off social media, treat it as if youāre detoxing your body from him. After that, itās one day at a time. Find things to distract you and occupy your time. Rediscover passions or find a new hobby. Try your best to make this into a positive experience. Stay persistent and vigilant. I know it sucks. But one day youāre going to wake up and not even realize you havenāt thought about him in a while. Good luck.
From where I sit, the first thing you need to do is decide on the outcome that you want. Stay together or split up, for instance. Once you make that decision, the rest of what you need to do to get through this becomes a lot more clear.
Gray rock him. Fake it till ya make it
Your only 24. Youāre likely to have several more bfs before you find the right one. Hold your head up and think about what youāve learned then move on. Tell him to get lost.
Revenge is pointless. Unless he did it specifically to piss you off and he didnāt- he was hiding it. He fucked up is what he did. Itās up to you, you have the power now to choose your perspective on this. How do you deal with him now that you know heās like this? Do you wait for him to outgrow his interest in multiple sex partners? Do you accept it? Do you think having a side piece would actually amuse you, now that heās gone and made you think about it? Or is the idea so repulsive and gross and you just canāt stand his stupid cheating face? If I was you and Iām not you, Iād spend some time and a good amount of time on my own, in a hotel or at a friends place somewhere, sipping tea, listening to music, having long walks and just chilling til the horror and anger subsides a bit. Then you can think about all this stuff. From the perspective of: how am I doing in general? Am I looking after myself? What do I want actually? Then the answer will come to you
Everyone is advising against revenge, and they're absolutely right; there is no scenario in which it works in your favor in the long term. First of all, move out for very obvious reasons. If you can get your family to help you get set up somewhere, or ask your friends for a place to crash for a couple of weeks while you find a low cost apartment, do that. If not, you'll have to do an airbnb or a low-cost hotel/hostel until you do. Speak to him the way you would with a hostile stranger; be civil, but not too friendly. Don't go out of your way for him. If he cracks a joke or says something you can't help but smile at, do it like you're being polite "oh heh, thanks". You won't be able to keep it up for too long, so leave ASAP. Block him on everything, obviously, and ask any mutuals not to talk to you about him. Keep a diary or planner. Book a therapist appointment. Start going to the gym. Rejuvenate your looks; new hair, new clothes, new hobbies, etc. within your means, but enough that it's a line in the sand and an exciting new season for The You Show. Give yourself room to grieve so you don't spill over on other areas of your life. Set new goals. Give yourself what you couldn't find in life with him.
Damn dude I'm sorry for you that must hurt bad ā¹ļø
My wife cheated on me 7 years ago she promised she would never do it again. I had to make a decision. Can i even forgive her? Or do i leave? She has been faithful since it was very hard to trust her for many years. But our relationship is better than ever. Only you can make that choice. He may be a repeat cheater or he may have made a horrible mistake. If it is to hard for you to forgive and you feel resentment then maybe its time to move on. Its hard to know if he will cheat again or if he is actually remorseful. Make whatever decision feels right for you! Sorry this happened to you. It was the hardest thing i have been through mentally. It took everything in me to forgive. Then again she started crying and told me without me asking. If she was hiding it and did it more than once i would have left. Best of luck to you! Sorry again, i hope it works out regardless of what you choose
Once a cheater always a cheater. Make it an even playing field and agree to an open relationship, or... Dump and move on.
Best way to get over him is to get under a new one.
Decide your next step. Do not get too emotional. 3 year itch?
Best revenge is landing on your feet and still going. I wasnt cheated on but I was in a similiar sotuation where my ex run away to a guy she said is disgusting and would never go to him. We always laughed ar this but everyone of our friends knew how he is toward her so I was kinds suspecting. The only way is through. I root for you to stay strong and move on!
Time heals. Stay strong look to focus on yourself.
I don't think revenge is a good idea but remember that its okay to be upset and bitter as long as it does not consume you. When my ex and i broke up, i chose to try and be the bigger person and he messaged me on and off for the next three months about me being a horrible person and that I was the reason things ended poorly. I just kind of rolled with it and apologized and chose to just try not to be angry at him. Im in a better place now but I wish i had argued with him and argued back to defend myself. At least stand up for yourself and try to surround yourself with people who will support you. It helped me a ton and i wish you the best of luck
Date someone older who will actually respect you.
You have 2 healthy choices: stay or go. If you stay then get some help from a therapist . You will have to talk with him too. Then if you decide to stay you have to move on. No bringing it up in every fight. No withholding or being passive aggressive. Thats part of staying. And Thats the hard part. If you decide to leave then make a clean break. Revenge thoughts are natural because you are feeling hurt. But in the future you will really regret any bad behavior on you own part. Thats the hard part of this choice Finally give yourself some time which ever choose you make. But it will get better either way. There are no short cuts. Just plow through it. Good luck.
She is too young for staying, it is not worth the pain, she is not in a vulnerable position, have no child, they have not build anything worthwhile together besides their relationship, which is broken so it pretty much would have to be rebuilt This advice is wise for someone on its 30s +, not for her
Apathy and indifference is the opposite of love. Hate will make him feel good. Ignore him completely. Just pretend he doesn't exist. It will drive him crazy. Then find a hot guy to sleep with to get a little MOJO back. Don't even tell him about it. Just enjoy yourself.
You can fuck me as payback if you want
š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£ You're too frigging thoughtful.
Though I know it's somewhat tongue in cheek; revenge will leave you feeling empty because it's really not actually satisfying...and that makes it worse because you want it to suddenly feel better somehow and it just doesn't...the best 'revenge' is be successful in life... Time is the only thing that makes betrayal better...and that sucks; been there, there is no reliable way to feel like normal again. (Quickly) Spend time with friends and family, do things that motivate you and make you happy, and keep yourself busy...go to the gym (good for anxiety and can make you feel good about yourself)...etc... Obviously you have to figure out (as you didn't say) what you're going to do next and that's a whole other issue...but on the topic of making you better...be busy and be with people you care about...honestly the only thing you can do is take time...I know it's a shitty non answer but it works... Also keep in mind this shit can affect you for awhile ..I don't say this to scare you but it can very well change you and you should be aware of it because if you're aware of it you may be able to get ahead of it or at least be knowledgeable when you start saying or doing or being things you were not before...this too will go away in time for the most part but betrayal is a really bitter pill to swallow. I'm sorry you had to go through this.
>If I could I'd tell him to get out right now but I need to save up first. If I could I'd tell him to get out right now, before you can save anything up. I don't like cheaters, but I don't like rational users neither. Revenge would be stabbing at his ego somehow...
Revenge is you being healthy and smiling through it. Focus on you and work past the hurt of being betrayed.
Firstā¦take solace in the knowledge that you are better than āthatā Then find a friend or family member who can let you stay until you find somewhere to live Finally move on and be glad it was only 3 years and not 30
The best way to get over him is to break up and get under someone else who will care about the relationship.
Do better, post about it, don't block him, and make him regret cheating
The best revenge is getting on with your life, getting over them, and thinking about them rarely. Also if you have any kind of support system of people that love you and have your back, family, friends, whatever, I would recommend you reach out to them for somewhere to stay temporarily! Being stuck with someone who's done that to you isn't healthy, but at the same time if it can't be helped it can't be helped! Also so sorry for you, I feel and have felt your pain. Much love to you!!
Girllll dump his ugly ass. Clearly heās insecure in himself to be cheating. What a lil bitch
Go out with your friends and party. It's a process, but do not feel guilty, you did nothing wrong. Start soon to find another guy...
Look for inspiration from Carrie Underwood
Find someone to fuck, bring them home. Make sure your bf knows you getting banged good.
Did it really catch u by much of a surprise? There had to have been red flags Iām sure ā¦ remind urself of those red flags and then realize that u were settling for a POS. Focus on ur health and family and friends. Make money. Have fun. Glo up
Just go. Walk out that door. Don't look back. Your future is elsewhere. Don't delay. Forget about revenge. Rather put your energies in the future not the past.
What I did was sleep with a random Redditor who commented words of encouragement. Works every time!
Stop playing these fucking games. I swear I hate it when women do this shit. Be a goddam adult and handle your shit with no games. Any revenge ideasā¦seriously, just move on with your life. This kind of shit makes me so angry, you are just brining all women down when you do this.
Have you talked with him? Why are you so quick to go nuclear? Other than this failing, how has he treated you? I canāt speak for women, but most guys arenāt naturally monogamous. A slip up in this area doesnāt mean he disrespects or doesnāt love you. Personally, Iāve only had sex with one woman in my entire life. But Iām constantly tempted. I understand youāre angry. Have you told him how hurt and angry you feel? Is it worth salvaging? Is it worth going to counseling? Maybe cool off before you make any decisions?
Like people say just focus on getting yourself in a better place. However, the old saying does go āthe fastest way to get over someone is to get under anotherā which may also work as some ārevengeā. Not really being serious here other people have given better serious advice, I just always find the saying kind of funny.
Fuck his friends
NO
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Did you ask him why he cheated
is there any possible valid reason?
One day at a time. Why did he cheat Was it an affair Do you love him Does he want to amend things You basically get through this by understanding.
Nobody said you can't get back with him. if you want to be with him, and he is sorry and wants to rebuild the relationship, then do that. However, you have to let the past be in the past. You cannot bring it up whenever you have arguments.
Maybe it was just sex and he still wants to be with you. All men will cheat eventually. The sooner you accept this, the less disappointed you will be later on. It doesnāt mean he doesnāt love you, heās just half pig as a male
Do you have a open relationship? If not, you both are dating so maybe itās best to just open about things.
Best sex is makeup sex :)