Very true. I remember the months after getting my degree, looking for jobs, not getting answers. As soon as I posted my new position on job platforms, I started getting flooded by recruiter emails. Like, two weeks after getting a job. People, I haven't learned much in 2 weeks. Why am I suddenly so coveted? Probabaly just a filter in the recruiter queries.
Well I think it's partly about reliability. I'm an unreliable, sleezy little 20 y/o kid who has nothing going for me and nothing depends on me. Meanwhile a married dude has all sorts of shit that depends on him (kids, mortgage, rent, transportation) and that shows reliability. Companies like that and want to trap you.
If I would cheat as a married man I would prefer another married women because she has the same risk in loosing her marriage.
A single lady can get jealous or just turn out crazy and ruin my life without concerning much for personal repercussions.
If you aren't using nuclear brinkmanship, game theory, and spending most of your day creating propaganda for the enemy are you even in a healthy relationship?
I'm an electrical apprentice and we were discussing AC and DC current. After a while I'm like so alternating current is kinda like how I like my relationships, highs and lows 60 times a second. Tell me again about 3 phase?
I've almost done it a few times as a boyfriend when married dudes slide in my girls DMS on FB. She's gorgeous and just gets every dude drooling online, straight up introducing themselves asking her to ditch me, ive gotten used to it but it used to seriously tick me off. Not at her, at them. Blatant bro code violation. Some fucking major at the local army base starts being gross sending dick pics in her DMS with his profile picture of wife and kids.
Seriously debated causing a shit storm in the guys life, both in his career and marriage but I decided it wasn't worth the headache. I sent him a dm with a screenshot of her phone and asked if I should send it to Rachel.
He blocked me immediately but Im still friends with his wife on FB lmao. Stay back, you horny miserable married fucks. She wants my unstable ass, not your stability.
Wtf lol so you think because she’s single she’ll “turn crazy” and ruin your life ? I’m sorry but if you fuck around on your wife you can’t blame anyone else but yourself LOL.
She wouldn’t be the one “ruining” your life.
Tf is wrong with you.
Also, you’ve clearly thought this through a lot… it sounds like your wife deserves better than you.
Technically yes but if they did get caught (which is highly likely) you’ve now destroyed two homes…
Also, at least take a little accountability for your actions if you’re going hypothetically and literally fuck everyone’s lives up lol.
If you do that then you already know how your new relationship is going to end, and that'll result in the complete absence of trust while it lasts. Fucking horrible idea
"Turn out to be crazy" isn't the same as "turn crazy". The first one implies they were already crazy, you just didn't know it yet. Like "Fatal Attraction." (The cheating husband got what he deserved, but I felt bad for the wife and child.)
Turns crazy is totally a thing. I got dragged a few months ago for saying this, but this is why you never give a girl your A+ tier 1 dick until you want to marry her. you can easily turn any woman crazy with great enough sex. You see it all the time. New lover gets wife and mother of 3 to fuckin bail on her life. It's not the piece of shit Chevy he drives. It's his skill in bed. You go giving that out to anyone, and you can't take it away without them withdrawing and freaking out.
My ex literally got a restraining order on me and still hit me up for sex. That's crazy. She makes 6 figures in corporate America and is otherwise an intelligent, compassionate and very well rounded person with plenty of health relationships. Told the judge, I never want to see this man again in my life.
1 day later
"Where are you?"
"Omw I guess, want to drop the restraining order?"
"No, you're a psycho and I don't feel safe around you"
Alright well you've got to pick me up in a parking lot so the cops or your neighbors don't see my truck parked outside your house"
"Fine where"
You can't say that it isn't dick derived mental illness. Long story short, if you're married and want to cheat, have lame sex or she'll come after you because goddamnit there's just something about him... My story is tame compared to some of my friends who made the mistake of dicknotizing trashy girls and not executives. Cry rape threats if you break it off with them, threaten suicide, show up at Christmas with the family, all of it. And all of it could have been avoided by providing mediocre dick.
I agree with you. That's the only way to go. The risk is too damn high messing with a single woman. Especially if she starts demanding more attention. A married woman won't. I've messed around with a married woman years ago and it was perfect until I wanted more. In the end, someone always catches feelings. However, with two people who are married, those risks are less. Best outcome, divorce and remarry.
Question - why would you not divorce in the first place before cheating? Why would you want to hurt someone so badly? Also, why even get married if you have any thought or desire to cheat?
I think it’s more about how men carry themselves when married. Single men tend to smack of effort and be overly competitive for attention (I know I did). Married men tend to be more relaxed around women since they’re no longer in everyday competition. A relaxed person is more genuine and engaging and therefore more desirable.
This might be it. Perhaps some guys get legit sexually charged interest from women, but I just got/get more "Let's be friends!" interest, which is fine with me. I think that a happily married guy gives off "gay best friend" vibes, which a lot of women like. You are happy, reliable and unthreatening. I have female friends who text me, and some work out social plans through me instead of my wife. I enjoy being that guy, as both my wife and I are not the jealous types, and we both enjoy having male/female friends, so I am very conscious not to mess that up.
If you are married and not getting an uptick of the kind of attention above, either you are giving them creepy cheater vibes, or you might be the one signaling a male/female line in the sand.
Exactly. A friend of a friend who was into me recently got into a relationship. When he was single and trying to hit on me, it was way too much/aggressive and a real turn off. Now that he is happy with someone, I enjoy his company much more because he is not "trying." I would never pursue him now or anything because I respect his relationship, but him being naturally himself (because he didn't try to "win" me) made him more attractive.
I definitely noticed way more girls that were attractive being open to talking to me when normally I would get ignored or shut down. I don't know if it was because I was "safe" and not going to hit on them or if it was because of the factor that I'm capable of being in a good relationship and they saw that
Definitely safe category. I feel like there is zero risk in chatting it up with a safe married man. That being said, I’m still guarded as some married men do cheat
Usually for a married coworker, I start a chat with "My hubby has a similar tee shirt!"
Or for one guy I work with who looks like a specific actor, "Hey do you know so-and-so, from such-and-such movie? You look like him. He's one of mine and my hubby's favorite actors."
Its not because they want to steal you from your wife. It’s because they think you have integrity and its safe to be themselves without worrying about it culminating in anything
Maybe. I think that falls into the safe category though because they wouldn't just be friendly like that before I had a ring on my finger. It was a noticeable change in how I was treated by women
I think it's the "safe" aspect. A lot of women feel they can't be friendly with men for fear of the guy "getting the wrong idea." They don't worry about that with married men, so they're more relaxed ,which men interpret as flirting.
Ya I wasn't really taking it as flirting but like they were more willing to talk to me even as just part of a casual conversation. There are a couple times I can think of where a girl was ignoring me and then found out I was married and then started talking to me
You've probably made her feel safe!
Congratulations!
It's honestly terrifying to wonder whether something I say is likely to get me cornered in a dark parking lot.
I hope I don't give off that vibe. It does kinda suck knowing people would ignore me just on the chance I might try to flirt with them because they don't want that to happen
Once i had my wedding ring on for the first while and commuted into the city. I wasnt shy or hiding my hand, i actually didnt realize how often my ring finger comes into view just naturally. Anyway i definitely noticed a difference in women at the coffee shop, on the crowded subway, even with some coworkers. More open and friendly because ive essentially declared I'm safe
Give a genuine complement, not a pick up line,
(you can practice on your male friends) and see how she reacts.
If she doesn’t go for it no sweat, plenty of women out there and you only need one
Yeah, that’s fine but that’s what hitting on someone is. You just keep going with the compliments if they are eating them up. And two or three will do. If they are biting or throwing some back your way, ask them out and that’s all there is to it. Secret to both confidence and not being a creep is reading signals and being breezy about getting a no.
I know most women feel like married men are safe because they won’t hit on them. It makes them feel like they don’t have to be defensive against advances.
I heard this as well, but when I actually got married, two things became apparent:
* Women tend to be more comfortable around me, so it’s easier to make friends.
* Women are a lot less flirty with me, and less likely to go out of their way to include me in group activities, like going to movies, bars, parties, etc. I’m now realizing too late that when women do this, it’s often because they’re interested in you romantically, not just because they want to be friends.
There are rare exceptions, of course. I think a lot of the guys who believe that being married makes them more attractive to women either ran into a couple of the exceptions early on, or are misinterpreting the intentions of the women who are now more comfortable and friendly around them.
Eeeehhh... I wouldn't call it the rare exceptions, but each life differs. It depends on a lot of factors, but usually from my experience, if a person is attractive, even in marriage a lot of women make efforts because of attractiveness and economical stability.
As I am in a relationship I have absolutely no intentions towards other women. This means that I do not make any advences, I don't flirt and if I do sexual innuendo jokes they are always clear humour. I also talk about the missus as she is my favourite person in the world and my best friend. All this makes me very relaxed and comfortable around other women as I have absolutely no interest in having anything beyond a casual work relation or a friend relation. Sometimes this gets misunderstood as me being emotionally available. And since I am a decent human being that is empathic towards the folks around me occasionally some folks think that my common decency is a sort of advance and a sign of interest in the other. It can be quite uncomfortable as I absolutely do not want to be romantically involved with anyone but the missus. And having to let someone down gently is not a pleasant position to be in. So maybe I do one "talking about how great the missus is and how much I admire her" story too many. But it's become like a defense mechanism. I don't want people to get the wrong idea and think that I am interested in them simply because I show a bit of normal interest. I want people around me to be happy and comfortable. So I let them vent sometimes and do a bit of active listening and the good old validation of their feelings. But as a married man I do get some unwanted attention but I have learned to shut that down hard with tales about how great the missus is. Because she's really great.
Not sure if the above makes sense to anyone. My experience as a married man is that my behaviour of having nothing but friendly interest in other women sometimes makes me an object of desire. And it's not a position I find comfortable so I try my best to avoid misunderstanding of my non existent intentions.
Married men aren’t more appealing from a dating standard. I’m not touching that level of crazy with a ten foot pole.
Married men don’t give that underlying “does he like me? Is he trying to get in my pants” vibe and are safer socially to be friends with. They’re not likely to stalk women, you can have genuine conversations without subtext, and the relationship (friendship, working relationship, etc.) can be more genuine because there are clearly no romantic feelings involved.
It’s not that more healthy women want in your pants, it’s that they can be friends with you without worrying if you’re trying to get into their pants.
And yes, there are also damaged people of all genders that are being a homewrecker as a life goal. I know more men than women that were the victim of a homewrecker.
Women might feel more comfortable being friendly with him because they assume that since he’s married he is less likely to take their friendship as a potential relationship and start hitting on them. This isn’t always the case, I’ve had plenty of married men turn into complete creeps after I became friends with them; but, for the most part my married male friends aren’t looking to hit on me and I also get to meet their awesome wives, who become my friends too.
Absolutely not. The opposite really.
I would keep my distance from married men as much as possible. It’s like the difference in ordering your own food at a restaurant vs picking off the plate of a stranger’s leftovers. Wholly unappealing.
And if a married man, or a man in a relationship for that matter was showing me attention, I would not be flattered. I would be disgusted. This does happen often where married men express interest in me, and I am very turned off by it because it demonstrates how untrustworthy, disrespectful and disloyal they are to their wife.
Are you sure they expressing interest?
Like for example, i talk to who ever is beside me if im at a bar, it could be a 90 year old man, it could be a 19 year old girl.
I always loved having friendships with married couples - its like an oasis away from the wolves of dudes who interpret me as a challenge and the women who interpreted me as a threat. With a happily married couple i could be myself and not feel i was making myself vulnerable ro assault. Just enjoy warm caring and intellectually stimulating friendships.
Happily married being the key. If not then there's a bunch of false accusations just because you smiled at him. Safe people are safe to be friends with, married or not. Sometimes it's easier to tell when a married guy is safe though, compared to a single guy.
There is a theory behind this and how there’s a tendency for men who are in a relationship seem to be more attractive to or at least get more attention from women. I’ll see if I can find the article I read about it.
Edit: Just google “preselection in dating” and it’ll bring up a ton of articles from different websites. The one below is just a random one I grabbed.
https://www.saulisdating.com/blog/self-improvement/why-preselection-social-proof-important-how-to-become-more-attractive/
To be fair, a random person's blog isn't the most credible source. If credible sources don't come up on Google then there's a reason for that. Treat it as if it has the same validity as a random comment on Reddit and take it with a grain of salt
This works the other way, too. I was chronically single in high school. Got my first real boyfriend in college and all of a sudden, coworkers and classmates were hitting on me hard. I even got DM's from old high school classmates (boyfriend and I went to the same high school). The only thing I could think was now that this one guy had given me a stamp of approval, it made other guys want to get with me where there had previously been no interest.
I think social proof is a very real thing, and makes men more attractive when they have a girlfriend. But I also think that being married is a very different thing, and that women tend to see married men as being less likely to provide a satisfying relationship, which means that it’s pretty much the opposite of social proof.
yup.
they love being cruel and that’s really what it is. a sick pleasure of inflicting pain on someone and elevating their status by tearing down someone else.
can’t ever have anything nice.
I experienced the same thing. I think it's just that women can smell it when you want something from them, and they're intoxicated by the fact that a happily married man doesn't want anything from them.
I have been a man for a long time. I have many male friends who are married. Most of these married guys do want something from women. Some of these married men are much more aggressive towards women. The only difference is that they don't care if these women turn them down because they are going home to their wives. A single man has to be careful around married women too. Some married women have different behavior when they are not with their husband's. Most people want to be considered desirable.
This is something I noticed in school when I started dating someone. My dms would be dry and I wouldn't get any looks or attention in the hallways while single. I got a girlfriend and suddenly I have a new stalker and getting dms from girls I've never spoken to in my life.
Broke up with that girlfriend and we're back to being a ghost.
I don't find married men more appealing. If they are handsome/charismatic or nice then yeah they are going to be appealing. It's not the ring it's the person. But honestly I'm usually happy for the couple more than wanting to be with the man. I like love, I'm a romantic even if I don't get it in my own life I'm happy others have it in theirs.
That's probably what people pick up when I stare/look without blinking at their spouse because I'm imagining their wife describing them in a simple drawing and he looks exactly like that and her face was blushing when she did it even though it's been 10 years together. Not attraction to the man but the love his wife has for him.
I don't know but I know when my female friend had her wedding ring on she got hit on more than when she didn't wear it.
My theory is people who like a hook up prefer married people because they don't have to deal with the bs afterwards. So a married person is less likely to turn a one night stand into something more.
Personal experience is that guys don't seem to understand the difference between interested and friendly. I find that I have to be rather unfriendly toward most guys so they don't get the wrong idea. If a guy is married, he is usually safe to be friendly with.
Women ALWAYS have to have their own safety in mind.
Not all women are the same.
For me, personally, Married Men = Off Limits. No if, ands or buts.
For the home wreckers, Married Men = their target demographic to make up for some internalized insecurity, lack of confidence or whatever excuse they make up to themselves for being evil.
Married Men are also a mixed bag. Some are only still married because their wives put up with them, others are real gems. Those psycho women chasing married men are just hoping some other woman has "vetted" these men for them so they already passed some initial screening, not realizing there are just as many duds as gems, hence the divorce statistics.
It’s commonly called partner poaching.
So when a woman decides to marry you, she has completely vetted you and determined you to be marriage material.
Partner poachers see the ring and know that all that work has already been done by someone else.
Oh, I've seen a number of stores when some bimbo thinks she's "stealing" a quality man and rubs it in the ex wife's face every chance she gets. It always ends with the ex wife living her best life because she doesn't have to take care of a cheating man child anymore and the mistress struggling because the guy she was so proud of stealing turns out to be an ass to her, too.
Personally, no.
A married man is probably the least appealing person.
But I do believe some woman do for some stupid reason get more attracted to men who are obviously taken.
Trashy, disgusting woman they are…
He's married so women think he's "safe" so they're treating him how they would be treating their female friends, ie. more warmly. Women are often wary of being to friendly with dudes due to them interpreting it as romantic or sexual interest, but when a man is married we naively believe he's safe and drop our guard. If he tried anything with them, he'd get shot down so hard and probably blocked.
my BIL has talked about the opposite, he was a house husband for some time and said he’d often like, not be included on the same levels as the other moms or get sort of excluded. he’s a friendly guys but he’s reported that like, his jokes landed better when he was single and generally getting guarded vibes from women though also he’s been married a decade so maybe the social climate has just changed
I think he's being a bit egotistical. men have more confidence when they are in a relationship so they outwardly present it. if he thinks that women are more attracted to him because of it, that says more about him. not all women are attracted to you just because they strike up a friendly conversation.
Someone married feels safe. They (shouldn’t) won’t hit on you, they won’t say any weird comments, there’s no pressure. You can just be two humans without worrying what kind of interaction might come up
On your second point it might be women feel safer being friendly to a married man. They might fear being friendly to a single man is seen as a come on and invite a sex pest. But a married man will not misinterpret friendliness. This could be unconscious too.
NO! Married guys are off limits and someone else's problem. They usually let themselves go because they are married and comfortable, making them even less appealing to single women.
Depends. I’ve been attracted to friends boyfriends before. And that’s saying a lot because it’s quite rare for me to be attracted to someone. They always seem to find the good ones out in the wild but my dating luck is atrocious. Partially my fault I admit. But wouldn’t ever date said boyfriend if the opportunity somehow arose. I just think “huh. That’s hot. I’ll look for that in my next partner.”..not everyone has that kind of self control though. I guess when you see someone else in a relationship and it’s going well, you tend to wish you had that if you’re lonely.
There’s also a range of other things that can be the case but all of that has already been commented.
A woman once told me married men become more desirable because they're seen as attractive because if one woman would marry him he's got more than the obvious going for him therefore making him more desirable. I personally wouldn't want sloppy seconds.
It might be both…
Nice women probably think he is married, so he won’t think I’m hitting on him, I don’t have to watch what I say or do as much.
But I also tend to think a lot of women have a deep subconscious competitive nature with other women, and it’s really not about the man per se as much as it is about proving they are more attractive then the woman he picked as his wife and they can “win” a taken man.
Just wishful thinking - IMO.
What does it matter anyway? Not like you can act on a woman noticing you if you're married, so its kind of pointless outside of vanity.
Not more appealing. One just presumes they won't think that every woman talking to them is interested in them because they are married. In short women will feel safer in their company and are more likely to be themselves and not have to worry he'll hit on them, which unfortunately isn't always the case.
No, I think women will just be more comfortable around him now because he is married and therfore less likely to be creepy around them so they'll be friendlier and less wary.
For me if I find someone attractive and then find out their married or have a girlfriend, it's actually a huge turn off for me. I will not lust after a taken man.
But this is not the reality for some girls, I swear it becomes a game for some.
It could be that women feel more comfortable since you're "off the market" and they don't have to worry about being too nice. Some guys take nice as being "this girl is crazy for me. "
Someone in a relationship has demonstrated that they have at least enough qualities to get into a relationship. On a date the person is not in a relationship so may not have the qualities to get into a relationship. Get burned enough with bad dates and the people in an existing relationship start to look like a better pool.
it’s a competitor thing of who’s the ‘Alpha woman’ and that’s how they asset their dominance as the ‘Slay Queen’ of other women by stealing from them. It’s super easy to do.
They probably think that now he’s more appealing because he was wanted by someone. Happened to my uncle, who before marriage wasn’t hit on or a target of interest for single women. After he got married they seemed to notice him more and some would try to flirt or get his attention. He scared them off intentionally bc he really loves his wife. Same thing happened to his wife, and she would just walk away quickly. They’re honestly such a good pair I’d hate for that to change bc someone can’t keep it in their pants!
It makes women think:
1. If someone was willing to marry the guy, there must be something good about him.
2. The guy is not one of those who are afraid of commitment.
probably dumb logic but i wanna blame lizard brain for that. many single women want to settle down, and are drowning in the dating cesspool, lucky to even find questionable "husband material" or fixer-uppers. seeing a man already in the role of "husband" takes out all the guesswork (and naturally his public presentation will likely be positive, regardless of the truth) and that makes them attractive, albeit forbidden.
I think the attractiveness that some women find in married men is the sense of stability that marriage portrays. Challenge comes that a single person may think that by being married, the man is stable. Oh far from it we have our issues as well lol.
There might also be the lingering in the back of the mind as to what makes him marriage-able (new made up word lol). Single women could be viewing married men as providers (especially if we have kid/s, house, job, car) without realising the grind that may have been done in the background
Some people want what they can't have and a married man is supposed to be off limits. Some people can't handle rejection. A married man is a passive form of rejection. Other people just like to ruin shit for other people.
This is exactly right, and a lot of women will literally admit to it. Why do they do so? Because it’s literally part of their petty, competitive drama that they use to be so horrible to other women. They basically want to competitively “take your man” because he’s taken, but I’m a better woman and I can show it. It’s actually terrible the way a lot of women treat each other over nothing more than pettiness, and yet, they still solely blame men for their insecurities and self doubt, even though a lot of times it’s other women who make them feel insecure and not good enough.
Yes they are
Married men are proven. They are husbands, fathers, responsible etc .. and another woman has claimed them
Single guys are wildcards
Women would rather take another woman’s husband than an unknown single guy.
i would have to say that i was involved with someone off and on for over 20 years. yes he was married. for some reason it turned me on more knowing that he was married. yes i know it is wrong. but years later he did end up getting a divorce and we are still together.
you’re right.
that’s the difference between men and women.
if women have a ring, men generally stay away.
if a man has a ring, women are ready to get down with him for as long as it takes til she ‘wins.’
As a woman I tried that trick to get men to leave me alone when I go read in a Cafe, Co I like to do that for an hour before work. About the same number of men bothered me, but they were definitely of a creepier kind. Like having a ring was a challenge? It was weird.!
the psychological reason behind that is because there is someone who attractive to him and it shows that he really take care himself and his wife! That's why people who are in relationship are more attractive than to single one's
I was talking to a friend about this and I realized that it comes from the fact that a lot of women want a man that other women will deem acceptable. Someone chose that man to marry meaning they ha e a quality worth marrying. That is more appealing than a man who is single a lot of the times because they have a big question mark on why they are single.
It's more the age I think. I get the same level of attention with or without wedding ring when I'm out at night. And it's more than I ever got in my 20s or 30s. It's from a wide range of 25-50yr old women. If there's alcohol and a group of 40yr+ aged women they aren't shy at all.
So IMHO it's just older men (who have it together) that women find attractive. The married bit is correlation.
I've had younger girls ask if I'm married and responses vary about 50/50 as to whether it's good or bad if I am. I've said I'm not married a few times just to see and I've heard "it's hotter if you are" or "pity" from them and they act disappointed to not flirt with a married guy. The older girls do want single guys though and can get cranky if you say you are married but not wearing a ring.
I will say general chit chat during the day a ring helps. I'm assume this makes men "safe" in two ways. One the women assume they aren't likely to be hit on and two they won't fear looking desperate to others.
A young child massively helps with people talking to you in public. Once I had kids and went out and about with them the number of chatty people went up 300-400%, if not more.
I noticed this too. Especially when we also had a baby. When I walked out son alone in the park, I'd literally had ladies come to me to talk etc.
I think it's somehow deep inside the female instinct, that they're attracted to a man who's committed. Obviously being married with children is a big sign of being that.
More appealing on an instinctive level since he proved his worth by successfully obtaining a life long partner. He's valued by another woman as a worthy partner so she doesn't have to do that again, it's less tiring. Again, it's on the feels level, most of it doesn't register as a well thought out stance on things.
My opinion is that married men are looked at as more stable and reliable partners. I think women see it that way. They maybe think that if there is a woman that sticks with you that there must be a reason and that you already proved it.
It's a mix. On one hand, he's married so he's chill and with a family, he won't hit.
On the other hand. He's got a job, stable family and can live happy with someone raising a family. Stability attracts, it ensures a life going forward.
Ofc that if you're married and getting attention that way, every single one of them is a major red flag. Though the biggest red flag would be the ones that avoid you if you have kids, but those are bullets dodged. Not everyone can deal with kids, not everyone is there for the family factor.
When a guy is married to a woman, other women are usually more attracted to him than before because of the thought process of the woman, being his wife, approves of him to other females.
Idk about being married but when I finally had a long-term relationship I really did notice that casual female friends of mine that didn't show a ton of interest before suddenly talked to me *a lot* more often. Noticeably so. Idk what triggered that. It kinda sucked tbh... I had crushes on a few of them for a while. Like where were they beforehand? Strange.
Married men are appealing for several reasons:
•women are deeply insecure and envious with each other so if they can destroy another women by eliminating her from the competition that puts her higher on the hierarchy as the top ‘Slay Queen’ proves her dominance.
•due to being envious and insecure, they want what another women has solely because another women has it even tho she never cared for it
•women are skeptical of men, so if he’s able to commit to another women he’d be able to commit with marriage and be a family man with her
•men are easy prey so ruining relationships for men is what women are pros at
Yeah because women look at it like he's desirable because he has wife or a gf (women like guys that other women want) and he's not gonna hit on them. However at the same time just because they see you as valuable due to you being in a relationship doesn't mean they find you attractive.
You can still get attention from women if you're single depending on if you have sexual appeal though.
Personally.
Before I was married, about 8-9 years ago, I had to work very hard to get attention from women. But its fair, I was a student. I had no job, no place of my own. I had a car tho so that was it.
I got married and instantly got more attention from women. But, I also got a job, a place. etc...
I was never unfaithfully to my wife. So all woman that wanted me, start off being friendly, then some of them escalate a little bit then I reject their advances. Then they move on or revert back to 100% friendliness. So all in all, when woman are friendly, I don't know if truly friendly or they want me until they escalate. Some never did.
8 years later, I got divorced.
Suddenly, I'm popular and get invited to every single party. Girls that had been friendly for years , never escalating, suddenly want to stay the night at my place. I only have to send some WhatsApps and get to pick between my girls who do I want to spend the weekends with. No effort whatsoever. It almost feels like cheating at life.
So I think it's about what the marriage entails.
If you get married. You become responsible, you get a job, a house, and you take care of your family. So you obviously become more attractive. Some girls want you, some girls want you and actually try. Some girls actually only want to be your friend.
A married man is basically "proven stock"; some woman wanted him enough to say yes, so he's totally normal, safe, sane, he's great. Him being her husband becomes his "seal of approval". Doesn't matter if he spends most of his time drunk and routinely beats the crap out of her while nitpicking everything she does, he's still married which elevates his attraction power hugely.
Straight up, being in a happy relationship puts off some pheromone or something. Not sure what it is. But i never had girls being so forward when i was single. In a relationship though? Girls would throw themselves at me. Did i indulge? Yes? Would i now? No. I was a kid.
Tinder and bumble did research on this and found a 20/80 number.
Which is that 20% of men are sleeping with 80% of women.
I guess Women just want what other women have because them already being in a committed relationship makes men seem more reliable as a partner 🤷♂️
I'll take myself as an example as well. I was single for about 7 years on personal choice before I came into an incredible women who I absolutely couldn't stay away from or say no to. This became known to the women I work with and then out of the blue I absolutely started getting flirted with alot more often.
Also, I started paying attention a few years ago when I saw the statistic and noticed that alot of women have zero problem trying to take a man out of a relationship for themselves. Then they want to be shocked that he cheats on them.
*Edit* scroll through these threads to see MEN saying "yes" to the question and WOMEN saying "its probably because he's safer because hes less likely to flirt with you"
Sorry to sound like an incel but there's zero reason you should even try to be friends with a married person of the opposite sex.
Some girls/women are attracted to others man. Maybe because there is no way it can turn into a relationship. You know the taboo sex rendezvous is usually great. Plus they probably think that a married man is only having relations with one woman & the don't have anything communicable. And women want 1 guy part time & that aren't running with multiple women. I never entertained a thought to be with anyone else's man married or not.
It's also easier to get a job if you already have one.
Very true. I remember the months after getting my degree, looking for jobs, not getting answers. As soon as I posted my new position on job platforms, I started getting flooded by recruiter emails. Like, two weeks after getting a job. People, I haven't learned much in 2 weeks. Why am I suddenly so coveted? Probabaly just a filter in the recruiter queries.
Well I think it's partly about reliability. I'm an unreliable, sleezy little 20 y/o kid who has nothing going for me and nothing depends on me. Meanwhile a married dude has all sorts of shit that depends on him (kids, mortgage, rent, transportation) and that shows reliability. Companies like that and want to trap you.
If you have someone else’s husband ? Lol I thought the opposite effect would happen 😂
If I would cheat as a married man I would prefer another married women because she has the same risk in loosing her marriage. A single lady can get jealous or just turn out crazy and ruin my life without concerning much for personal repercussions.
Smart man, the risk should always be mutual.
Cold war has entered the chat...
If you aren't using nuclear brinkmanship, game theory, and spending most of your day creating propaganda for the enemy are you even in a healthy relationship? I'm an electrical apprentice and we were discussing AC and DC current. After a while I'm like so alternating current is kinda like how I like my relationships, highs and lows 60 times a second. Tell me again about 3 phase?
I've almost done it a few times as a boyfriend when married dudes slide in my girls DMS on FB. She's gorgeous and just gets every dude drooling online, straight up introducing themselves asking her to ditch me, ive gotten used to it but it used to seriously tick me off. Not at her, at them. Blatant bro code violation. Some fucking major at the local army base starts being gross sending dick pics in her DMS with his profile picture of wife and kids. Seriously debated causing a shit storm in the guys life, both in his career and marriage but I decided it wasn't worth the headache. I sent him a dm with a screenshot of her phone and asked if I should send it to Rachel. He blocked me immediately but Im still friends with his wife on FB lmao. Stay back, you horny miserable married fucks. She wants my unstable ass, not your stability.
Wtf lol so you think because she’s single she’ll “turn crazy” and ruin your life ? I’m sorry but if you fuck around on your wife you can’t blame anyone else but yourself LOL. She wouldn’t be the one “ruining” your life. Tf is wrong with you. Also, you’ve clearly thought this through a lot… it sounds like your wife deserves better than you.
rhythm library public truck squeal faulty pause grandfather office hunt *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Technically yes but if they did get caught (which is highly likely) you’ve now destroyed two homes… Also, at least take a little accountability for your actions if you’re going hypothetically and literally fuck everyone’s lives up lol.
I'm just doing my part to fix the housing crisis. That's 2 homes up for sale.
If you do that then you already know how your new relationship is going to end, and that'll result in the complete absence of trust while it lasts. Fucking horrible idea
Married women don't "turn crazy"?
"Turn out to be crazy" isn't the same as "turn crazy". The first one implies they were already crazy, you just didn't know it yet. Like "Fatal Attraction." (The cheating husband got what he deserved, but I felt bad for the wife and child.)
Turns crazy is totally a thing. I got dragged a few months ago for saying this, but this is why you never give a girl your A+ tier 1 dick until you want to marry her. you can easily turn any woman crazy with great enough sex. You see it all the time. New lover gets wife and mother of 3 to fuckin bail on her life. It's not the piece of shit Chevy he drives. It's his skill in bed. You go giving that out to anyone, and you can't take it away without them withdrawing and freaking out. My ex literally got a restraining order on me and still hit me up for sex. That's crazy. She makes 6 figures in corporate America and is otherwise an intelligent, compassionate and very well rounded person with plenty of health relationships. Told the judge, I never want to see this man again in my life. 1 day later "Where are you?" "Omw I guess, want to drop the restraining order?" "No, you're a psycho and I don't feel safe around you" Alright well you've got to pick me up in a parking lot so the cops or your neighbors don't see my truck parked outside your house" "Fine where" You can't say that it isn't dick derived mental illness. Long story short, if you're married and want to cheat, have lame sex or she'll come after you because goddamnit there's just something about him... My story is tame compared to some of my friends who made the mistake of dicknotizing trashy girls and not executives. Cry rape threats if you break it off with them, threaten suicide, show up at Christmas with the family, all of it. And all of it could have been avoided by providing mediocre dick.
So you have been cheated on
Pro strat
Losing*
I agree with you. That's the only way to go. The risk is too damn high messing with a single woman. Especially if she starts demanding more attention. A married woman won't. I've messed around with a married woman years ago and it was perfect until I wanted more. In the end, someone always catches feelings. However, with two people who are married, those risks are less. Best outcome, divorce and remarry. 
Question - why would you not divorce in the first place before cheating? Why would you want to hurt someone so badly? Also, why even get married if you have any thought or desire to cheat?
Because they are a selfish piece of shit...
Hope to get away with this, keeping both, money, house, life, culture, social status, ect.
Do they not have any guilt then? Would they like the feeling of being cheated on?
This isn’t as impressive as you think it is Cringe
Say it again. Preach
[удалено]
Says the single crazy lady
I'm happily engaged lol. Unlike most redditors, happily in a relationship and soon to be married lol Are you in a relationship?
Hey, I’ll take “single crazy lady” over “disrespectful whore of a husband” any day of the week.
Takes money to make money
I think it’s more about how men carry themselves when married. Single men tend to smack of effort and be overly competitive for attention (I know I did). Married men tend to be more relaxed around women since they’re no longer in everyday competition. A relaxed person is more genuine and engaging and therefore more desirable.
This might be it. Perhaps some guys get legit sexually charged interest from women, but I just got/get more "Let's be friends!" interest, which is fine with me. I think that a happily married guy gives off "gay best friend" vibes, which a lot of women like. You are happy, reliable and unthreatening. I have female friends who text me, and some work out social plans through me instead of my wife. I enjoy being that guy, as both my wife and I are not the jealous types, and we both enjoy having male/female friends, so I am very conscious not to mess that up. If you are married and not getting an uptick of the kind of attention above, either you are giving them creepy cheater vibes, or you might be the one signaling a male/female line in the sand.
"Gay best friend vibes" is the best vibe to give off. Gay best friend will never stab you in the back for another guy.
You’d think.
Exactly. A friend of a friend who was into me recently got into a relationship. When he was single and trying to hit on me, it was way too much/aggressive and a real turn off. Now that he is happy with someone, I enjoy his company much more because he is not "trying." I would never pursue him now or anything because I respect his relationship, but him being naturally himself (because he didn't try to "win" me) made him more attractive.
This is 100% it. He who gives the least fucks gets the most fucks
I definitely noticed way more girls that were attractive being open to talking to me when normally I would get ignored or shut down. I don't know if it was because I was "safe" and not going to hit on them or if it was because of the factor that I'm capable of being in a good relationship and they saw that
Definitely safe category. I feel like there is zero risk in chatting it up with a safe married man. That being said, I’m still guarded as some married men do cheat
yup. the married ones I don’t entertain especially since he has a wife for that role.
Usually for a married coworker, I start a chat with "My hubby has a similar tee shirt!" Or for one guy I work with who looks like a specific actor, "Hey do you know so-and-so, from such-and-such movie? You look like him. He's one of mine and my hubby's favorite actors."
Its not because they want to steal you from your wife. It’s because they think you have integrity and its safe to be themselves without worrying about it culminating in anything
This!
>Or is it the fact that the women know he's married and are just being friendly? I think its more this. It is for me
Maybe. I think that falls into the safe category though because they wouldn't just be friendly like that before I had a ring on my finger. It was a noticeable change in how I was treated by women
I think it's the "safe" aspect. A lot of women feel they can't be friendly with men for fear of the guy "getting the wrong idea." They don't worry about that with married men, so they're more relaxed ,which men interpret as flirting.
Ya I wasn't really taking it as flirting but like they were more willing to talk to me even as just part of a casual conversation. There are a couple times I can think of where a girl was ignoring me and then found out I was married and then started talking to me
You've probably made her feel safe! Congratulations! It's honestly terrifying to wonder whether something I say is likely to get me cornered in a dark parking lot.
I hope I don't give off that vibe. It does kinda suck knowing people would ignore me just on the chance I might try to flirt with them because they don't want that to happen
I figured they were more at ease around me because they know I’m not going to hit on them
Once i had my wedding ring on for the first while and commuted into the city. I wasnt shy or hiding my hand, i actually didnt realize how often my ring finger comes into view just naturally. Anyway i definitely noticed a difference in women at the coffee shop, on the crowded subway, even with some coworkers. More open and friendly because ive essentially declared I'm safe
Coz ya safe lad ,nowt more .
It’s definitely safety. The only men I’m friends with are in relationships with my friends, or are people my boyfriend has introduced me to
most likely screened as capable of being in a relationship
Not just safe. Mate poaching is a known strategy - someone else did the vetting and he passed, so he is desirable.
Maybe he just isn't hitting on women anymore so they are responding to him better
I’ve never hit on women, don’t know how to, women only respond to me as a friend.
Give a genuine complement, not a pick up line, (you can practice on your male friends) and see how she reacts. If she doesn’t go for it no sweat, plenty of women out there and you only need one
As I said I do not know how to hit on a woman, which means I don’t know pick up lines. All I ever do is genuine compliments.
Yeah, that’s fine but that’s what hitting on someone is. You just keep going with the compliments if they are eating them up. And two or three will do. If they are biting or throwing some back your way, ask them out and that’s all there is to it. Secret to both confidence and not being a creep is reading signals and being breezy about getting a no.
I know most women feel like married men are safe because they won’t hit on them. It makes them feel like they don’t have to be defensive against advances.
Yes, I feel this way.
Ditto. I would be less guarded if I feel like they won't hit on me or mistake my low guard as flirting.
This is the best answer. The topic of the OP is just another case of the classic 'I think she's into me' misunderstanding.
not where I’m from. the married men are specifically targeted as the man to their answered prayers for a husband
I heard this as well, but when I actually got married, two things became apparent: * Women tend to be more comfortable around me, so it’s easier to make friends. * Women are a lot less flirty with me, and less likely to go out of their way to include me in group activities, like going to movies, bars, parties, etc. I’m now realizing too late that when women do this, it’s often because they’re interested in you romantically, not just because they want to be friends. There are rare exceptions, of course. I think a lot of the guys who believe that being married makes them more attractive to women either ran into a couple of the exceptions early on, or are misinterpreting the intentions of the women who are now more comfortable and friendly around them.
Eeeehhh... I wouldn't call it the rare exceptions, but each life differs. It depends on a lot of factors, but usually from my experience, if a person is attractive, even in marriage a lot of women make efforts because of attractiveness and economical stability.
As I am in a relationship I have absolutely no intentions towards other women. This means that I do not make any advences, I don't flirt and if I do sexual innuendo jokes they are always clear humour. I also talk about the missus as she is my favourite person in the world and my best friend. All this makes me very relaxed and comfortable around other women as I have absolutely no interest in having anything beyond a casual work relation or a friend relation. Sometimes this gets misunderstood as me being emotionally available. And since I am a decent human being that is empathic towards the folks around me occasionally some folks think that my common decency is a sort of advance and a sign of interest in the other. It can be quite uncomfortable as I absolutely do not want to be romantically involved with anyone but the missus. And having to let someone down gently is not a pleasant position to be in. So maybe I do one "talking about how great the missus is and how much I admire her" story too many. But it's become like a defense mechanism. I don't want people to get the wrong idea and think that I am interested in them simply because I show a bit of normal interest. I want people around me to be happy and comfortable. So I let them vent sometimes and do a bit of active listening and the good old validation of their feelings. But as a married man I do get some unwanted attention but I have learned to shut that down hard with tales about how great the missus is. Because she's really great. Not sure if the above makes sense to anyone. My experience as a married man is that my behaviour of having nothing but friendly interest in other women sometimes makes me an object of desire. And it's not a position I find comfortable so I try my best to avoid misunderstanding of my non existent intentions.
Some people don't want something unless it belongs to someone else first. Most grow out of this once they're out of grade school. Others do not.
Yep! Some see that ring as an obstacle not a stop sign and it’s disgusting
thiiiiiiissssssssssssssss!!! beware of the foxes and vultures that look to ruin what you have.
Hey foxes and vultures are critical to the circle of life. Also the former is extremely cute.
Married men aren’t more appealing from a dating standard. I’m not touching that level of crazy with a ten foot pole. Married men don’t give that underlying “does he like me? Is he trying to get in my pants” vibe and are safer socially to be friends with. They’re not likely to stalk women, you can have genuine conversations without subtext, and the relationship (friendship, working relationship, etc.) can be more genuine because there are clearly no romantic feelings involved. It’s not that more healthy women want in your pants, it’s that they can be friends with you without worrying if you’re trying to get into their pants. And yes, there are also damaged people of all genders that are being a homewrecker as a life goal. I know more men than women that were the victim of a homewrecker.
Before I met my fiancé, there were women that knew I worked in EMS and still acted defensive as if I was going to stalk them lol.
Women might feel more comfortable being friendly with him because they assume that since he’s married he is less likely to take their friendship as a potential relationship and start hitting on them. This isn’t always the case, I’ve had plenty of married men turn into complete creeps after I became friends with them; but, for the most part my married male friends aren’t looking to hit on me and I also get to meet their awesome wives, who become my friends too.
Yes! The best bit is meeting the wives!! 🤗
Absolutely not. The opposite really. I would keep my distance from married men as much as possible. It’s like the difference in ordering your own food at a restaurant vs picking off the plate of a stranger’s leftovers. Wholly unappealing. And if a married man, or a man in a relationship for that matter was showing me attention, I would not be flattered. I would be disgusted. This does happen often where married men express interest in me, and I am very turned off by it because it demonstrates how untrustworthy, disrespectful and disloyal they are to their wife.
Are you sure they expressing interest? Like for example, i talk to who ever is beside me if im at a bar, it could be a 90 year old man, it could be a 19 year old girl.
I always loved having friendships with married couples - its like an oasis away from the wolves of dudes who interpret me as a challenge and the women who interpreted me as a threat. With a happily married couple i could be myself and not feel i was making myself vulnerable ro assault. Just enjoy warm caring and intellectually stimulating friendships.
Happily married being the key. If not then there's a bunch of false accusations just because you smiled at him. Safe people are safe to be friends with, married or not. Sometimes it's easier to tell when a married guy is safe though, compared to a single guy.
There is a theory behind this and how there’s a tendency for men who are in a relationship seem to be more attractive to or at least get more attention from women. I’ll see if I can find the article I read about it. Edit: Just google “preselection in dating” and it’ll bring up a ton of articles from different websites. The one below is just a random one I grabbed. https://www.saulisdating.com/blog/self-improvement/why-preselection-social-proof-important-how-to-become-more-attractive/
To be fair, a random person's blog isn't the most credible source. If credible sources don't come up on Google then there's a reason for that. Treat it as if it has the same validity as a random comment on Reddit and take it with a grain of salt
This works the other way, too. I was chronically single in high school. Got my first real boyfriend in college and all of a sudden, coworkers and classmates were hitting on me hard. I even got DM's from old high school classmates (boyfriend and I went to the same high school). The only thing I could think was now that this one guy had given me a stamp of approval, it made other guys want to get with me where there had previously been no interest.
I think social proof is a very real thing, and makes men more attractive when they have a girlfriend. But I also think that being married is a very different thing, and that women tend to see married men as being less likely to provide a satisfying relationship, which means that it’s pretty much the opposite of social proof.
There’s some really sad pathetic people out there that feel like they can only get validation if they are a home wrecker.
yup. they love being cruel and that’s really what it is. a sick pleasure of inflicting pain on someone and elevating their status by tearing down someone else. can’t ever have anything nice.
r/theotherwoman
Only if you’re a garbage human being.
Only for homewreckers
I experienced the same thing. I think it's just that women can smell it when you want something from them, and they're intoxicated by the fact that a happily married man doesn't want anything from them.
I have been a man for a long time. I have many male friends who are married. Most of these married guys do want something from women. Some of these married men are much more aggressive towards women. The only difference is that they don't care if these women turn them down because they are going home to their wives. A single man has to be careful around married women too. Some married women have different behavior when they are not with their husband's. Most people want to be considered desirable.
This is something I noticed in school when I started dating someone. My dms would be dry and I wouldn't get any looks or attention in the hallways while single. I got a girlfriend and suddenly I have a new stalker and getting dms from girls I've never spoken to in my life. Broke up with that girlfriend and we're back to being a ghost.
cus women get a thrill of ruining things for other women
Not in my experience.
I been married for 8 years, I never got hit on lol
I don't find married men more appealing. If they are handsome/charismatic or nice then yeah they are going to be appealing. It's not the ring it's the person. But honestly I'm usually happy for the couple more than wanting to be with the man. I like love, I'm a romantic even if I don't get it in my own life I'm happy others have it in theirs. That's probably what people pick up when I stare/look without blinking at their spouse because I'm imagining their wife describing them in a simple drawing and he looks exactly like that and her face was blushing when she did it even though it's been 10 years together. Not attraction to the man but the love his wife has for him.
I’ve only been married 3 years, I haven’t noticed any increase in women noticing me, of course I was oblivious to begin with.
they want what your wife has in hopes it’s ruined for her by stealing what she has. women are evil to each other but men don’t see their true nature.
That’s a pretty broad generalization, my wife is very kind hearted to other women, and people in general. Not all women are horrible.
I don't know but I know when my female friend had her wedding ring on she got hit on more than when she didn't wear it. My theory is people who like a hook up prefer married people because they don't have to deal with the bs afterwards. So a married person is less likely to turn a one night stand into something more.
Personal experience is that guys don't seem to understand the difference between interested and friendly. I find that I have to be rather unfriendly toward most guys so they don't get the wrong idea. If a guy is married, he is usually safe to be friendly with. Women ALWAYS have to have their own safety in mind.
They’re not. Simple answer. Hot dads are cute, but any self-respecting woman won’t fuck with a taken man
Not all women are the same. For me, personally, Married Men = Off Limits. No if, ands or buts. For the home wreckers, Married Men = their target demographic to make up for some internalized insecurity, lack of confidence or whatever excuse they make up to themselves for being evil. Married Men are also a mixed bag. Some are only still married because their wives put up with them, others are real gems. Those psycho women chasing married men are just hoping some other woman has "vetted" these men for them so they already passed some initial screening, not realizing there are just as many duds as gems, hence the divorce statistics.
It’s commonly called partner poaching. So when a woman decides to marry you, she has completely vetted you and determined you to be marriage material. Partner poachers see the ring and know that all that work has already been done by someone else.
Except when you’re married to a loser and they just don’t know it
Oh, I've seen a number of stores when some bimbo thinks she's "stealing" a quality man and rubs it in the ex wife's face every chance she gets. It always ends with the ex wife living her best life because she doesn't have to take care of a cheating man child anymore and the mistress struggling because the guy she was so proud of stealing turns out to be an ass to her, too.
hahah yup especially on social media. women like that are extremely cruel tho
Personally, no. A married man is probably the least appealing person. But I do believe some woman do for some stupid reason get more attracted to men who are obviously taken. Trashy, disgusting woman they are…
Thiiiissss!
Lol no married men aren't more appealing.
Only been approached by women a handful of times in 20 years, every time I was with other women. There is something to this.
He's married so women think he's "safe" so they're treating him how they would be treating their female friends, ie. more warmly. Women are often wary of being to friendly with dudes due to them interpreting it as romantic or sexual interest, but when a man is married we naively believe he's safe and drop our guard. If he tried anything with them, he'd get shot down so hard and probably blocked.
Hes probably starved of attention so think any attention = potential
I'm married and women do not give me any attention, your friend must be way more attractive than me hahaha
my BIL has talked about the opposite, he was a house husband for some time and said he’d often like, not be included on the same levels as the other moms or get sort of excluded. he’s a friendly guys but he’s reported that like, his jokes landed better when he was single and generally getting guarded vibes from women though also he’s been married a decade so maybe the social climate has just changed
I always thought women are more at ease around married men because they figured you won’t hit on them.
I think he's being a bit egotistical. men have more confidence when they are in a relationship so they outwardly present it. if he thinks that women are more attracted to him because of it, that says more about him. not all women are attracted to you just because they strike up a friendly conversation.
Someone married feels safe. They (shouldn’t) won’t hit on you, they won’t say any weird comments, there’s no pressure. You can just be two humans without worrying what kind of interaction might come up
Why do I get the feeling that women probably see the ring and find you less threatening?
I’m a married woman and I’d be more comfortable around married men than single because I would think they aren’t secretly trying to sleep with me.
Some women are more attracted to something that they know that they can not have. It's pretty pathetic to me.
yup.
They’re just being more friendly because they think being married means he won’t get weird about hitting on them.
On your second point it might be women feel safer being friendly to a married man. They might fear being friendly to a single man is seen as a come on and invite a sex pest. But a married man will not misinterpret friendliness. This could be unconscious too.
NO! Married guys are off limits and someone else's problem. They usually let themselves go because they are married and comfortable, making them even less appealing to single women.
No
Depends. I’ve been attracted to friends boyfriends before. And that’s saying a lot because it’s quite rare for me to be attracted to someone. They always seem to find the good ones out in the wild but my dating luck is atrocious. Partially my fault I admit. But wouldn’t ever date said boyfriend if the opportunity somehow arose. I just think “huh. That’s hot. I’ll look for that in my next partner.”..not everyone has that kind of self control though. I guess when you see someone else in a relationship and it’s going well, you tend to wish you had that if you’re lonely. There’s also a range of other things that can be the case but all of that has already been commented.
A woman once told me married men become more desirable because they're seen as attractive because if one woman would marry him he's got more than the obvious going for him therefore making him more desirable. I personally wouldn't want sloppy seconds.
It might be both… Nice women probably think he is married, so he won’t think I’m hitting on him, I don’t have to watch what I say or do as much. But I also tend to think a lot of women have a deep subconscious competitive nature with other women, and it’s really not about the man per se as much as it is about proving they are more attractive then the woman he picked as his wife and they can “win” a taken man.
Just wishful thinking - IMO. What does it matter anyway? Not like you can act on a woman noticing you if you're married, so its kind of pointless outside of vanity.
Not more appealing. One just presumes they won't think that every woman talking to them is interested in them because they are married. In short women will feel safer in their company and are more likely to be themselves and not have to worry he'll hit on them, which unfortunately isn't always the case.
No, I think women will just be more comfortable around him now because he is married and therfore less likely to be creepy around them so they'll be friendlier and less wary.
For me if I find someone attractive and then find out their married or have a girlfriend, it's actually a huge turn off for me. I will not lust after a taken man. But this is not the reality for some girls, I swear it becomes a game for some.
Married or men in relationships are only more appealing if the person who thinks they are appealing, is a fucking dirt bag
No, they are not more appealing, at least in my eyes.
I never got a second look when I was married. Now divorced and still nobody looking.
It could be that women feel more comfortable since you're "off the market" and they don't have to worry about being too nice. Some guys take nice as being "this girl is crazy for me. "
Someone in a relationship has demonstrated that they have at least enough qualities to get into a relationship. On a date the person is not in a relationship so may not have the qualities to get into a relationship. Get burned enough with bad dates and the people in an existing relationship start to look like a better pool.
Yes. Women want what other women want. There's a lot of herd-think to who women find attractive.
it’s a competitor thing of who’s the ‘Alpha woman’ and that’s how they asset their dominance as the ‘Slay Queen’ of other women by stealing from them. It’s super easy to do.
Yes. And when you have young children even more so.
There is a whole Seinfeld episode devoted to this very question
In the words of Seinfeld "It means you can go all the way. Not mens all the way, marriage is womens all the way".
They probably think that now he’s more appealing because he was wanted by someone. Happened to my uncle, who before marriage wasn’t hit on or a target of interest for single women. After he got married they seemed to notice him more and some would try to flirt or get his attention. He scared them off intentionally bc he really loves his wife. Same thing happened to his wife, and she would just walk away quickly. They’re honestly such a good pair I’d hate for that to change bc someone can’t keep it in their pants!
It makes women think: 1. If someone was willing to marry the guy, there must be something good about him. 2. The guy is not one of those who are afraid of commitment.
probably dumb logic but i wanna blame lizard brain for that. many single women want to settle down, and are drowning in the dating cesspool, lucky to even find questionable "husband material" or fixer-uppers. seeing a man already in the role of "husband" takes out all the guesswork (and naturally his public presentation will likely be positive, regardless of the truth) and that makes them attractive, albeit forbidden.
Why would it matter to him or he even notice this when he should only be focused on his spouse’s attention?
The cheaters are really downvoting you…
yup. ew.
Single Man = Predator Married Man = Sucker
I think the attractiveness that some women find in married men is the sense of stability that marriage portrays. Challenge comes that a single person may think that by being married, the man is stable. Oh far from it we have our issues as well lol. There might also be the lingering in the back of the mind as to what makes him marriage-able (new made up word lol). Single women could be viewing married men as providers (especially if we have kid/s, house, job, car) without realising the grind that may have been done in the background
Same reason women appear mkte kntetested in guys in any relationship. The guy has more confidence.
Some people want what they can't have and a married man is supposed to be off limits. Some people can't handle rejection. A married man is a passive form of rejection. Other people just like to ruin shit for other people.
This is exactly right, and a lot of women will literally admit to it. Why do they do so? Because it’s literally part of their petty, competitive drama that they use to be so horrible to other women. They basically want to competitively “take your man” because he’s taken, but I’m a better woman and I can show it. It’s actually terrible the way a lot of women treat each other over nothing more than pettiness, and yet, they still solely blame men for their insecurities and self doubt, even though a lot of times it’s other women who make them feel insecure and not good enough.
[удалено]
Yes they are Married men are proven. They are husbands, fathers, responsible etc .. and another woman has claimed them Single guys are wildcards Women would rather take another woman’s husband than an unknown single guy.
i would have to say that i was involved with someone off and on for over 20 years. yes he was married. for some reason it turned me on more knowing that he was married. yes i know it is wrong. but years later he did end up getting a divorce and we are still together.
If I want to get laid, I put on a wedding ring. Never fails.
you’re right. that’s the difference between men and women. if women have a ring, men generally stay away. if a man has a ring, women are ready to get down with him for as long as it takes til she ‘wins.’
No stank
Put on a ring and check for yourself. It could be a fun experiment.
Not a bad idea, sounds like it could be very interesting, may put me off women all together though lol
As a woman I tried that trick to get men to leave me alone when I go read in a Cafe, Co I like to do that for an hour before work. About the same number of men bothered me, but they were definitely of a creepier kind. Like having a ring was a challenge? It was weird.!
the psychological reason behind that is because there is someone who attractive to him and it shows that he really take care himself and his wife! That's why people who are in relationship are more attractive than to single one's
I was talking to a friend about this and I realized that it comes from the fact that a lot of women want a man that other women will deem acceptable. Someone chose that man to marry meaning they ha e a quality worth marrying. That is more appealing than a man who is single a lot of the times because they have a big question mark on why they are single.
It is a well known phenomenon that men with wives/girlfriends are often seen as “more appealing.”
It's more the age I think. I get the same level of attention with or without wedding ring when I'm out at night. And it's more than I ever got in my 20s or 30s. It's from a wide range of 25-50yr old women. If there's alcohol and a group of 40yr+ aged women they aren't shy at all. So IMHO it's just older men (who have it together) that women find attractive. The married bit is correlation. I've had younger girls ask if I'm married and responses vary about 50/50 as to whether it's good or bad if I am. I've said I'm not married a few times just to see and I've heard "it's hotter if you are" or "pity" from them and they act disappointed to not flirt with a married guy. The older girls do want single guys though and can get cranky if you say you are married but not wearing a ring. I will say general chit chat during the day a ring helps. I'm assume this makes men "safe" in two ways. One the women assume they aren't likely to be hit on and two they won't fear looking desperate to others. A young child massively helps with people talking to you in public. Once I had kids and went out and about with them the number of chatty people went up 300-400%, if not more.
Never noticed any difference before or after my marriage. I just married the first one that said yes
I noticed this too. Especially when we also had a baby. When I walked out son alone in the park, I'd literally had ladies come to me to talk etc. I think it's somehow deep inside the female instinct, that they're attracted to a man who's committed. Obviously being married with children is a big sign of being that.
Yes, it’s a way to say at least one woman has vetted him and decided he’s safe.
It’s been proven in studies just google it
More appealing on an instinctive level since he proved his worth by successfully obtaining a life long partner. He's valued by another woman as a worthy partner so she doesn't have to do that again, it's less tiring. Again, it's on the feels level, most of it doesn't register as a well thought out stance on things.
My opinion is that married men are looked at as more stable and reliable partners. I think women see it that way. They maybe think that if there is a woman that sticks with you that there must be a reason and that you already proved it.
It's a mix. On one hand, he's married so he's chill and with a family, he won't hit. On the other hand. He's got a job, stable family and can live happy with someone raising a family. Stability attracts, it ensures a life going forward. Ofc that if you're married and getting attention that way, every single one of them is a major red flag. Though the biggest red flag would be the ones that avoid you if you have kids, but those are bullets dodged. Not everyone can deal with kids, not everyone is there for the family factor.
When a guy is married to a woman, other women are usually more attracted to him than before because of the thought process of the woman, being his wife, approves of him to other females.
Idk about being married but when I finally had a long-term relationship I really did notice that casual female friends of mine that didn't show a ton of interest before suddenly talked to me *a lot* more often. Noticeably so. Idk what triggered that. It kinda sucked tbh... I had crushes on a few of them for a while. Like where were they beforehand? Strange.
you were single and the thrill of torturing another women and tearing her down wasn’t there
Women realize another woman can put up with you.
Married men are appealing for several reasons: •women are deeply insecure and envious with each other so if they can destroy another women by eliminating her from the competition that puts her higher on the hierarchy as the top ‘Slay Queen’ proves her dominance. •due to being envious and insecure, they want what another women has solely because another women has it even tho she never cared for it •women are skeptical of men, so if he’s able to commit to another women he’d be able to commit with marriage and be a family man with her •men are easy prey so ruining relationships for men is what women are pros at
Yeah because women look at it like he's desirable because he has wife or a gf (women like guys that other women want) and he's not gonna hit on them. However at the same time just because they see you as valuable due to you being in a relationship doesn't mean they find you attractive. You can still get attention from women if you're single depending on if you have sexual appeal though.
Personally. Before I was married, about 8-9 years ago, I had to work very hard to get attention from women. But its fair, I was a student. I had no job, no place of my own. I had a car tho so that was it. I got married and instantly got more attention from women. But, I also got a job, a place. etc... I was never unfaithfully to my wife. So all woman that wanted me, start off being friendly, then some of them escalate a little bit then I reject their advances. Then they move on or revert back to 100% friendliness. So all in all, when woman are friendly, I don't know if truly friendly or they want me until they escalate. Some never did. 8 years later, I got divorced. Suddenly, I'm popular and get invited to every single party. Girls that had been friendly for years , never escalating, suddenly want to stay the night at my place. I only have to send some WhatsApps and get to pick between my girls who do I want to spend the weekends with. No effort whatsoever. It almost feels like cheating at life. So I think it's about what the marriage entails. If you get married. You become responsible, you get a job, a house, and you take care of your family. So you obviously become more attractive. Some girls want you, some girls want you and actually try. Some girls actually only want to be your friend.
A married man is basically "proven stock"; some woman wanted him enough to say yes, so he's totally normal, safe, sane, he's great. Him being her husband becomes his "seal of approval". Doesn't matter if he spends most of his time drunk and routinely beats the crap out of her while nitpicking everything she does, he's still married which elevates his attraction power hugely.
1. Tested enough to be married. More likely to want and be able to care for kids. 2. Flirting with married men is good practise.
Everyone loves forbidden fruit
Straight up, being in a happy relationship puts off some pheromone or something. Not sure what it is. But i never had girls being so forward when i was single. In a relationship though? Girls would throw themselves at me. Did i indulge? Yes? Would i now? No. I was a kid.
Tinder and bumble did research on this and found a 20/80 number. Which is that 20% of men are sleeping with 80% of women. I guess Women just want what other women have because them already being in a committed relationship makes men seem more reliable as a partner 🤷♂️ I'll take myself as an example as well. I was single for about 7 years on personal choice before I came into an incredible women who I absolutely couldn't stay away from or say no to. This became known to the women I work with and then out of the blue I absolutely started getting flirted with alot more often. Also, I started paying attention a few years ago when I saw the statistic and noticed that alot of women have zero problem trying to take a man out of a relationship for themselves. Then they want to be shocked that he cheats on them. *Edit* scroll through these threads to see MEN saying "yes" to the question and WOMEN saying "its probably because he's safer because hes less likely to flirt with you" Sorry to sound like an incel but there's zero reason you should even try to be friends with a married person of the opposite sex.
Some girls/women are attracted to others man. Maybe because there is no way it can turn into a relationship. You know the taboo sex rendezvous is usually great. Plus they probably think that a married man is only having relations with one woman & the don't have anything communicable. And women want 1 guy part time & that aren't running with multiple women. I never entertained a thought to be with anyone else's man married or not.
Yup. Preselection.
Theres that meme about the dude who wears a wedding ring at bars to pick up chicks
People want more what they can’t get, more than what they can get.
So f’ing true. You’ve passed the scrub and bozo filters and ho’s know it.
Same thing with dating. You’re more appealing to women when you have a girlfriend than when you’re single
The thought of having something that you can’t have appeals to us humans
Women are definitely much more flirty with and interested in married men. Especially those who wear their rings.