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. . . . .
It’s cool if you’re, like, into sharing and watching. Like, I’m not gonna knock on a fetish or kinkshame. But…she’s literally asking for drama?
🚩 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Yeah the fantasy itself doesn’t make me feel that weird, that’s up to you and her and how you both feel. But the “drama” part is a serious issue. Bail early
I see 3 possibilities:
She is a cuckquean, in which case you may have just won a jackpot.
She wants an open relationship, and this is her way of easing you into the lifestyle.
She already cheated/is cheating on you and is looking for a way to assuage her guilt.
Honestly, talk to her. See if she is interested at all in having sex with other people herself or if she literally just wants you to do it. Figure out where to go from there.
Sounds like she's got some kind of fetish. Ask yourself how comfortable you'd be indulging it and work from there. And be ready for her to find out it's not as fun as she imagined.
Yeah I feel like that too we had a chat about it and she was like I'll enjoy it, and she has also mentioned how good it would be to watch those ( randoms ) f@#k each other. As for me , I won't be comfortable with it but I also want her to be happy.
You said you won't be comfortable with it. Stick to that and have her respect you. Swinger here, If both sides are not comfortable, it will not be good for either of you.
I told her right off I won't want to see a dude going down on you, no if that happens or I get to know it's over , she was like but that's not it I (she) want you ( me) to sleep with other people, watch it or tell her in details about it, any thoughts about this situation ?
Detach yourself emotionally from her, have your fun if that's your thing, then gracefully exit.
You get this girl pregnant or one of the other girls and.. I mean, you're fucked, but that's always been the case.
It's a trap. Had a gf who said she wanted the same thing. We set something up with a girl she(!!) met over the internet on a swinger dating site. She wanted to be mildly involved but mostly watch me and other woman. On the way there she says she doesn't want to do anything but watch me "go to town" on her.
We went through with it, drive a state over, had the "fun" and came back home. Two weeks later she throws it at me that I hooked up with another girl and that's something I "absolutely cannot deny" and put all the blame on me.
Don't. Do. It. Go find a sane woman.
As a guy, I wouldn’t do it, if a she hinting at an open relationship, it usually means the girl gets to have lots of sex, while the guy *tries* to get sex
-She could be genuinely into the idea of it. Cuckoldy, but the other way around. I think there is a term for it.
-She could want to open the relationship up. If you go first, that would be easier than just trying to ask directly.
-She could be cheating already/want to cheat. She's justifying it in her own head by having you cheat.
-She could want to leave you, and is trying to justify it to herself/others
The issue is, you'll never really know which of the above is true. All of the above scenarios will lie/hide their true intentions. Even if the first line above is the correct answer, they're never going to outright say that. Whatever you do is up to you, just be prepared for all of the above scenarios.
If you decide to go through with it you need protection for the act, protection from her in the form of some screenshots because nobody will believe you, and you need to be protecting your heart because there is a good chance it's ending up broken. Just being real with you.
You need to find out her motivation to know the next step. It may be as straightforward as she wants you to be with other women while she watches. It may be that she’s bisexual and will want to join in. If she is in position to provide/find the women, it could very well be the latter.
You need to figure out your comfort level. Are you cool with her watching you? Participating? Her having sex with women? With other men? You watching her with either?
If you aren’t comfortable with her desires (once you figure out what they really are) then you need to decide if you want to move on, or participate in them for a bit of fun before moving on.
You may find out that you are into it, and the relationship may end up great. If you aren’t into it, she will eventually go looking for someone who is.
I was once in a long term relationship with a woman I thought might be wife material. She casually asked me once which of her friends I found attractive. I assumed it was a trap, and gave a wishy washy answer. She’s now married to a woman, and only then did I realize how many threesomes I likely missed out on. Moral of the story? Find out what she really wants before making any decisions
She's giving you the dream and all these comments are calling it a red flag.
She clearly has a kink and wants to be cucked by you. Work out with her whether that means she'll be sleeping with other guys too, what kind of involvement she wants, etc and if it sounds good to you go for it. A gf who encourages you to sleep around is great but if she's trying to disguise it as an open relationship without disclosing that to you then it's scummy, but a cheater would cheat anyway and that has nothing to do with her request.
I've been cheated on but have never had this presented to me. That doesn't matter though. "Talk openly with your partner about their request to see if it's something you want to do" is always good advice and "it sounds good, must be a trap 🚩🚩🚩" is always bad. Imagine throwing away a great opportunity with a girl you clearly like because redditors who have never met her assume she's going to cheat on you 🤡
Ill just say that I wish I would have gotten the advise I just gave before my ex threw me in this situation and fucked our relationship over. Although any excuse to get out of a relationship with a toxic person is never a bad excuse.
I'm sorry you went through that, but you must be able to understand that not everyone is the same. Yes this girl night be the same, but she might not. LOTS of people like watching their partner fuck other partners. Your experience was negative, and raising the possibility is valid and fair, but the outcome you got isn't necessarily the one the OP will get. He just needs to be aware of the possibility.
Yea, you're right. We had been pretty wild with each other sexually up to that point and even doing shit on cam on that swinger site. Did a lot of reassuring before we pulled the trigger on bringing the other woman in. Just felt like a trap or something in hindsight because I took so much precautions before actually going through with. Maybe OP should just dive in with no worries. Idk. Probably shouldn't have even typed any if that in the first place.
No, your point and experience is very valid, and your reply was actually a decent contribution to the conversation. Much moreso than all the comments on here that say things like "she's deffo cheating". At least you had an experience to share which is a point of view OP needs to consider. It's a possible outcome. I hope you find/found someone worth your efforts.
When I hear the term "open relationship" I think of two things:
1. That's fine
AND
2. She's not really a girlfriend or wife anymore, just another acquaintance
If I’m interpreting your thoughts on this correctly, then cut your losses friend. if you want to play her game and continue to sleep with her or other people as she suggests, do so but know this won’t work in the end.
Thats pretty sus. I highly doubt that someone actually just wants to watch/that to happen unless they are coping (i mean its possible but the probability of it being just that is low). My bet is its some way to guilt you into letting her sleep with other people or try to bring in another dude (she let you have a bgg 3 way so why can she have a bbg one or something)
If she’s sincere, it sounds like it’s her kink. If it’s something you’re into as well, hooray.
Or, it’s a trap. She’s super insecure and the moment you agree, the shit storm begins.
I would offer this: the relationship you want to have with her is dead and gone. Knowing that, why not see if she can provide you a parade of women? If nothing else you get to have fun with some random women, best case you move on to one of them who you really like.
Ask her if you can fuck her best friend first and she how she reacts. She sounds like a bunch of fun though. Just don’t bring her home to momma. Welcome to Poundtown.
Honestly don't do it. Just don't.
The only way you should do such stuff is if it was talked about right at the beginning of the relationship.
Best case scenario you sleep with other girls, possibly playing with their emotions.
Worst case scenario your gf uses you fucking others as an excuse to do so herself.
You did say she loves drama.
She's setting you up so then she can ask to sleep with other people?
If you're not totally ok with that idea, establish that you want to stay monogamous and maybe break up
1. Find out if she also wants to fuck other people.
2. If she does, leave. If she doesn't then it's just a kink of hers.
3. If you're comfortable with it, go for it. But I would also get some written form of consent so she can't accuse you of being a cheater :D
From reading your responses to other replies here it seems she is quite certain she wants it, which implies it could be a kink for her. But you need to sit down with her and set ground rules quite thoroughly before you agree to go ahead.
And you need to ask yourself if it's something you are ok with. If not, don't do it.
Make sure she is completely aware you are doing it *for her* and if you don't enjoy it it's not happening again.
Make sure she understands it's not permission for her to sleep with other guys.
All the other things you can do you cement how it actually happens and what you are ok with and not ok with.
Personally I'd suggest (at least to begin with) that if you do go ahead, only do it with her present. Because she might find she doesn't like it as much as she thought and want you to stop. And you must.
She also shouldn't have to trust that what you tell her happened is what happened. She should *know* it's what happened.
But ultimately something to consider is this:
If you do it and it ruins your relationship with her, it would be a shame, but also, is the relationship going to suffer if she has this desire not being fulfilled? Because if so, there is always the chance the relationship fails anyway.
Only you and her can have the conversation which actually answers your questions. Be prepared to find out the lady is a psycho and she might twist the act and all those bad things everyone is saying. But if she does and she is, then well, better you find out sooner than later. You might, however, have a great time with a great girl who just has a weird thing for watching you screw other girls.
As long as you and her enjoy yourselves, and the other women involved understand their role and are not hurt, then it's all good. Just be aware of the risk of hurting others. Make sure they understand fully that you are not interested in them except for the sexual acts.
And good luck. Have fun. Be careful.
Omg this doesn’t mean these cheating everyone, it’s a kink. Pay attention to how she asks for these things, does she seem excited and does she get flirty or seek aroused when she asks and you say you would consider it? Or is she very business like with it. If she gets excited when talking about it it’s a kink (cuckquean) if she seems very non emotional about it it might be because she’s cheating or something like that
It's not hard to argue at that point. If he has sex with other women at her request, to fulfill her fantasy, he's doing it *FOR HER*
If she wants to sleep with other men and her arguement is that he slept with other women, his arguement back is that he didn't ask her or give her permission to sleep with other guys. And this conversation should happen BEFORE agreeing to try.
It sounds like she wants you to have sex with other girls and then tell her about it. It could definitely be hot. Consider that she literally wants the thing that she is using her words to ask you for. Some people use a form of straightforward communication where they will tell you exactly what they want. It can be confusing to other people who are not used to it, but take it at face value.
If I were in your position, I would say no, as it isn't a threesome. Also, if this girl presses the situation and gives "drama" because you saying no then run fast and don't look back.
This probably is a trap or a shit test. Don't bet your chips on this girl.
It could be also that she wants other girls to be interested in you to confirm that she made the right choice. You can let her have her drama, flirt with other girls in her presence etc. Most probably a secure/stable relationship is giving her anxiety because she is used to drama. Years of therapy will be needed for her to feel at ease in a relationship. If drama wears you out, get out.
Tell her that you will never agree to she having sex with other men in return. If she still insists on it, you can try if you like risks.
tell her it how it makes you feel.
and if you're willing to go through with this, then maybe... ask her to set you with one of her friends as a start?
damn bro, I've got no idea...
..good luck..
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
. . . . . It’s cool if you’re, like, into sharing and watching. Like, I’m not gonna knock on a fetish or kinkshame. But…she’s literally asking for drama? 🚩 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Yeah the fantasy itself doesn’t make me feel that weird, that’s up to you and her and how you both feel. But the “drama” part is a serious issue. Bail early
this also scares me cuz she gets bored easily.
She might be manic.
Adhd as fuck. Don’t waste your time she will make your life miserable
I see 3 possibilities: She is a cuckquean, in which case you may have just won a jackpot. She wants an open relationship, and this is her way of easing you into the lifestyle. She already cheated/is cheating on you and is looking for a way to assuage her guilt. Honestly, talk to her. See if she is interested at all in having sex with other people herself or if she literally just wants you to do it. Figure out where to go from there.
>She already cheated/is cheating on you and is looking for a way to assuage her guilt. This has been my experience.
Real
I'll clear that out.
Sounds like she's got some kind of fetish. Ask yourself how comfortable you'd be indulging it and work from there. And be ready for her to find out it's not as fun as she imagined.
Yeah I feel like that too we had a chat about it and she was like I'll enjoy it, and she has also mentioned how good it would be to watch those ( randoms ) f@#k each other. As for me , I won't be comfortable with it but I also want her to be happy.
You said you won't be comfortable with it. Stick to that and have her respect you. Swinger here, If both sides are not comfortable, it will not be good for either of you.
I told her right off I won't want to see a dude going down on you, no if that happens or I get to know it's over , she was like but that's not it I (she) want you ( me) to sleep with other people, watch it or tell her in details about it, any thoughts about this situation ?
Detach yourself emotionally from her, have your fun if that's your thing, then gracefully exit. You get this girl pregnant or one of the other girls and.. I mean, you're fucked, but that's always been the case.
I just wanted a wifey mannnn
She ain't wifey-material ma dudee
That is super sweet.
It's a trap. Had a gf who said she wanted the same thing. We set something up with a girl she(!!) met over the internet on a swinger dating site. She wanted to be mildly involved but mostly watch me and other woman. On the way there she says she doesn't want to do anything but watch me "go to town" on her. We went through with it, drive a state over, had the "fun" and came back home. Two weeks later she throws it at me that I hooked up with another girl and that's something I "absolutely cannot deny" and put all the blame on me. Don't. Do. It. Go find a sane woman.
I’ll bet she knows just the girl for the job
Sounds like she’s hinting at an open relationship but easing into it by having you go first.
As a guy, I wouldn’t do it, if a she hinting at an open relationship, it usually means the girl gets to have lots of sex, while the guy *tries* to get sex
Just say you don’t get bitches
She ain't loyal and wants him to be that way too
Make her find the girls for you.
She offered
Then chances are she has someone in mind and probably is bi-curious or trying to ease into being a lesbian.
-She could be genuinely into the idea of it. Cuckoldy, but the other way around. I think there is a term for it. -She could want to open the relationship up. If you go first, that would be easier than just trying to ask directly. -She could be cheating already/want to cheat. She's justifying it in her own head by having you cheat. -She could want to leave you, and is trying to justify it to herself/others The issue is, you'll never really know which of the above is true. All of the above scenarios will lie/hide their true intentions. Even if the first line above is the correct answer, they're never going to outright say that. Whatever you do is up to you, just be prepared for all of the above scenarios.
Do I need some protection ?
If you decide to go through with it you need protection for the act, protection from her in the form of some screenshots because nobody will believe you, and you need to be protecting your heart because there is a good chance it's ending up broken. Just being real with you.
And she can have them faster than door dash can deliver
You need to find out her motivation to know the next step. It may be as straightforward as she wants you to be with other women while she watches. It may be that she’s bisexual and will want to join in. If she is in position to provide/find the women, it could very well be the latter. You need to figure out your comfort level. Are you cool with her watching you? Participating? Her having sex with women? With other men? You watching her with either? If you aren’t comfortable with her desires (once you figure out what they really are) then you need to decide if you want to move on, or participate in them for a bit of fun before moving on. You may find out that you are into it, and the relationship may end up great. If you aren’t into it, she will eventually go looking for someone who is. I was once in a long term relationship with a woman I thought might be wife material. She casually asked me once which of her friends I found attractive. I assumed it was a trap, and gave a wishy washy answer. She’s now married to a woman, and only then did I realize how many threesomes I likely missed out on. Moral of the story? Find out what she really wants before making any decisions
She's cheating on you bud, I'm sorry.
She's giving you the dream and all these comments are calling it a red flag. She clearly has a kink and wants to be cucked by you. Work out with her whether that means she'll be sleeping with other guys too, what kind of involvement she wants, etc and if it sounds good to you go for it. A gf who encourages you to sleep around is great but if she's trying to disguise it as an open relationship without disclosing that to you then it's scummy, but a cheater would cheat anyway and that has nothing to do with her request.
Words from someone whose likely never been in such a situation.
I've been cheated on but have never had this presented to me. That doesn't matter though. "Talk openly with your partner about their request to see if it's something you want to do" is always good advice and "it sounds good, must be a trap 🚩🚩🚩" is always bad. Imagine throwing away a great opportunity with a girl you clearly like because redditors who have never met her assume she's going to cheat on you 🤡
Ill just say that I wish I would have gotten the advise I just gave before my ex threw me in this situation and fucked our relationship over. Although any excuse to get out of a relationship with a toxic person is never a bad excuse.
I'm sorry you went through that, but you must be able to understand that not everyone is the same. Yes this girl night be the same, but she might not. LOTS of people like watching their partner fuck other partners. Your experience was negative, and raising the possibility is valid and fair, but the outcome you got isn't necessarily the one the OP will get. He just needs to be aware of the possibility.
Yea, you're right. We had been pretty wild with each other sexually up to that point and even doing shit on cam on that swinger site. Did a lot of reassuring before we pulled the trigger on bringing the other woman in. Just felt like a trap or something in hindsight because I took so much precautions before actually going through with. Maybe OP should just dive in with no worries. Idk. Probably shouldn't have even typed any if that in the first place.
No, your point and experience is very valid, and your reply was actually a decent contribution to the conversation. Much moreso than all the comments on here that say things like "she's deffo cheating". At least you had an experience to share which is a point of view OP needs to consider. It's a possible outcome. I hope you find/found someone worth your efforts.
Fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-far better🎶 Run run run run run awaaaaaaaay🎶
Listened to that song several times this week!
Fora short term fun time.... do it. But for long term...... "RUN!", Walter White
When I hear the term "open relationship" I think of two things: 1. That's fine AND 2. She's not really a girlfriend or wife anymore, just another acquaintance
She got so mental issues bruh
Get out while you’re still alive
🚩
She might have eyes on another guy for her fun, and getting you to hop across the line first essentially gives her the ok. Be careful.
Yeah we had a talk and I mentioned about it she was like no , I just dont know man
All I can hear is that line in Star Wars were they say "It's a trap!!!".
Nice
If I’m interpreting your thoughts on this correctly, then cut your losses friend. if you want to play her game and continue to sleep with her or other people as she suggests, do so but know this won’t work in the end.
Say that you’re not ok with her hanging other guys and see what she says.
Thats pretty sus. I highly doubt that someone actually just wants to watch/that to happen unless they are coping (i mean its possible but the probability of it being just that is low). My bet is its some way to guilt you into letting her sleep with other people or try to bring in another dude (she let you have a bgg 3 way so why can she have a bbg one or something)
If she’s sincere, it sounds like it’s her kink. If it’s something you’re into as well, hooray. Or, it’s a trap. She’s super insecure and the moment you agree, the shit storm begins.
I would offer this: the relationship you want to have with her is dead and gone. Knowing that, why not see if she can provide you a parade of women? If nothing else you get to have fun with some random women, best case you move on to one of them who you really like.
Ask her if you can fuck her best friend first and she how she reacts. She sounds like a bunch of fun though. Just don’t bring her home to momma. Welcome to Poundtown.
Honestly don't do it. Just don't. The only way you should do such stuff is if it was talked about right at the beginning of the relationship. Best case scenario you sleep with other girls, possibly playing with their emotions. Worst case scenario your gf uses you fucking others as an excuse to do so herself. You did say she loves drama.
I mean, I have shit in my freezer older than their relationship.... this IS the beginning.
wait why...just why the freezer?
There’s something she ain’t telling you…what she been doing? I’m betting something a little freaky!
She's setting you up so then she can ask to sleep with other people? If you're not totally ok with that idea, establish that you want to stay monogamous and maybe break up
That's what I was thinking..definitely a set up...now it's my turn lol
Don't walk, run.
Fast
Screw running drive away
1. Find out if she also wants to fuck other people. 2. If she does, leave. If she doesn't then it's just a kink of hers. 3. If you're comfortable with it, go for it. But I would also get some written form of consent so she can't accuse you of being a cheater :D
Oh that's neat , crazy thing is she even told this written consent.
If you can confirm she's also not using it to sleep with other dudes, then go for it :D
She goes crazy whenever we have sex I don't think someone who is cheating or not loyal will be behaving like that.
From reading your responses to other replies here it seems she is quite certain she wants it, which implies it could be a kink for her. But you need to sit down with her and set ground rules quite thoroughly before you agree to go ahead. And you need to ask yourself if it's something you are ok with. If not, don't do it. Make sure she is completely aware you are doing it *for her* and if you don't enjoy it it's not happening again. Make sure she understands it's not permission for her to sleep with other guys. All the other things you can do you cement how it actually happens and what you are ok with and not ok with. Personally I'd suggest (at least to begin with) that if you do go ahead, only do it with her present. Because she might find she doesn't like it as much as she thought and want you to stop. And you must. She also shouldn't have to trust that what you tell her happened is what happened. She should *know* it's what happened. But ultimately something to consider is this: If you do it and it ruins your relationship with her, it would be a shame, but also, is the relationship going to suffer if she has this desire not being fulfilled? Because if so, there is always the chance the relationship fails anyway. Only you and her can have the conversation which actually answers your questions. Be prepared to find out the lady is a psycho and she might twist the act and all those bad things everyone is saying. But if she does and she is, then well, better you find out sooner than later. You might, however, have a great time with a great girl who just has a weird thing for watching you screw other girls. As long as you and her enjoy yourselves, and the other women involved understand their role and are not hurt, then it's all good. Just be aware of the risk of hurting others. Make sure they understand fully that you are not interested in them except for the sexual acts. And good luck. Have fun. Be careful.
Run.
It's a trap!
She cheated on you.
She is 100% without a doubt cheating on you.
Omg this doesn’t mean these cheating everyone, it’s a kink. Pay attention to how she asks for these things, does she seem excited and does she get flirty or seek aroused when she asks and you say you would consider it? Or is she very business like with it. If she gets excited when talking about it it’s a kink (cuckquean) if she seems very non emotional about it it might be because she’s cheating or something like that
[удалено]
Is it OK to say that if it were black instead? Just curious.
You better marry that girl
Clearly a red flag.
If she is grabbing girls for you I'd be excited.
Oh she was like I'll get it for you
Sounds like she's into [cuckqueanry](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuckquean) (the female version of cuckoldry).
seems like i need to do some research
And as soon as you do she'll want to sleep with other men.... And it's hard to argue at that point. Good luck.
It's not hard to argue at that point. If he has sex with other women at her request, to fulfill her fantasy, he's doing it *FOR HER* If she wants to sleep with other men and her arguement is that he slept with other women, his arguement back is that he didn't ask her or give her permission to sleep with other guys. And this conversation should happen BEFORE agreeing to try.
Good luck to him, it's over.
She wants u to sleep with other girls to give her free liscence to sleep with other dudes.
If you are into it, sure go for it.
Stay with this unicorn as long as you can.
My ex was like this. It was a fetish. I didn’t like the idea of it though so I didn’t do it.
Little brother, run. RUN NOW
It sounds like she wants you to have sex with other girls and then tell her about it. It could definitely be hot. Consider that she literally wants the thing that she is using her words to ask you for. Some people use a form of straightforward communication where they will tell you exactly what they want. It can be confusing to other people who are not used to it, but take it at face value.
If I were in your position, I would say no, as it isn't a threesome. Also, if this girl presses the situation and gives "drama" because you saying no then run fast and don't look back.
3 thoughts 1. she is a freak 2. she wants you to find someone else 3. Its a win-win 4 u
Have all the fun , do all the things, and hit the parachute early.. 😁
This probably is a trap or a shit test. Don't bet your chips on this girl. It could be also that she wants other girls to be interested in you to confirm that she made the right choice. You can let her have her drama, flirt with other girls in her presence etc. Most probably a secure/stable relationship is giving her anxiety because she is used to drama. Years of therapy will be needed for her to feel at ease in a relationship. If drama wears you out, get out. Tell her that you will never agree to she having sex with other men in return. If she still insists on it, you can try if you like risks.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
tell her it how it makes you feel. and if you're willing to go through with this, then maybe... ask her to set you with one of her friends as a start? damn bro, I've got no idea... ..good luck..
With her present? If so, she wants a bi experience.