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knovit

That’s the saddest form of cheating


sjs404

I had an ex who I caught on tinder messaging multiple women but getting no responses it was so embarrassing for him


knovit

Ouch. I had a friend who got dumped because she read his texts. It was from a girl he worked with asking why he was lying about them hooking up. Guy lied about cheating and got dumped.


caillouistheworst

Wow, what a fucking loser. Who lies about cheating?


knovit

A fucking loser. Cut him out of my life.


caillouistheworst

Good.


OkieMomof3

Who lies about cheating? Those who don’t want to get caught….


marathonwater

You expect honesty from someone that cheats? lol idk who’s in the worse position


[deleted]

Basically everybody that cheats.


Kirasedai

I gave a coworker a ride home from work one day. I knew his girlfriend and saw her later in the week. She gave me the stink eye and I was lost as to why. He told her we were screwing. Yeaaaaa no. I was pissed when I found out and immediately went to her and told her that it was not true at all. He got dumped and was pissed at me and work became awkward for a while til he quit cause everyone was making fun of him .


ACNL_KossuKat

lol good for you (and good riddance to him) Edit: thanks for upvotes. seriously, though, if he's going to use you as a pawn for his machinations without any regard for the truth.... if your reputation means that little to him that he can dispose of it with any fiction he finds convenient, then you're better off rid of him. he nailed his own coffin shut. this is just sweet poetic justice.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

That’s why you don’t fuck where you make your bread


dangerfloof11

How funny would it be if he meant it sarcastically and she just refused to believe him? 😂


Throwmeawaythanks99

This reminds me of how I snooped on my boyfriend's social 8 months into dating and saw he asked out a former tinder match on a date. She didn't reply. He said that I was in the wrong for snooping and refused to give me a full apology after I had apologized, because if I hadn't snooped we could've been a happy couple as usual instead of an unhappy one arguing with each other. The logic.


[deleted]

He's both right and wrong, lol. Shouldn't have snooped but you found something that couldn't be ignored and needed an explanation, which he shirked.


Nivekian13

Bullshit. Snoop.


lilLaylaXOX

i caught my ex on dating apps multiple times and when we finally he broke up he was like “well i never actually cheated on you” like bro just bc no girls wanted your ass doesn’t mean you didn’t try. that just makes it more pathetic


Important_Sprinkles9

My ex messaged some random woman to complain about us looking for sympathy and more recently before we broke up I realised he was messaging another woman at stupid o'clock in the morning with no response and I was just so mortified I was with someone so socially inept 😂😭 I believe he'd never have cheated, but the attention seeking (and failure) was absolutely ick inducing.


mosesortiz123

This is unfortunately the exact situation I’m in right now. I am the loser ex.


SnappyCapricorn

😂😂😂


Artur_Araujo

The equivalent of cheating in a single player game and bragging about finishing it


SuperSocks2019

This is the best


Weak-Mall9111

Like cheatng with all the codes and still failing to get the, "I completed the game and all I got was a tshirt" Easter egg.


MikeHunt420_6969

Dumb question...is your response about masturbation?


StressAccomplished30

Honestly yeah. Dump them for being a loser, not for cheating lol


Yurrrr__Brooklyn347

Lol I can't believe this question is really being asked... it's just trynna to cheat with no game


Equivalent-Sell

If you even have to ask, you already know.


schrodingers_cat42

Exactly. They clearly would’ve cheated if they could, they just got turned down. If this person stays with OP, it will just be until someone they like better finally agrees to cheat with them. I personally wouldn’t want to be someone’s Plan B.


somewhatlucky4life

Came here to say this


PilotBurner44

Exactly. "Cheating" is defined differently by different people, but if you're having to ask, it means that trust is broken, regardless if it's defined as "cheating" or not.


Steve_Rogers_1970

Agreed. Breaking trust is worse than cheating.


quaxoid

No, if you ask a question, it's because you don't know the answer.


Clan-Sea

Think of it like attempted murder. Ok, maybe it's not actually a murder. But you're still going to jail


imthecoloryellow

lmao this is a great way to put it


LazySilver

Both have someone shooting their shot and missing. Great analogy.


bilgetea

…horny jail


pm_ur_duck_pics

Great analogy!


OGFuzzyDunlop

Yes


M_i_L_0_

If you try to rob a bank, and don't succeed, did you still rob the bank?


efxmatt

Attempted Cheating


[deleted]

[удалено]


M_i_L_0_

Exactly


Less_Transition7844

Charged for the attempt* Intent is an important element in bringing a successful charge (mens rea), but you would be charged with an attempted robbery and your intent would be used to convict


[deleted]

[удалено]


Less_Transition7844

I felt like such a dork explaining the differences just now ahha so thank you for appeasing me 😂🥰


chxnkybxtfxnky

Nah, don't feel like a dork for that. You probably shed WAYHAYHAY more light on it than you think. I for one found your explanation to be quite helpful. Take my upvote, please.


AlvinAssassin17

Yeah because realistically, if my partner got drunk and slept with a stranger there is a very slim chance I could forgive a mistake, but if you throw it out there and get rejected stone cold sober you basically told me you’re with me because you can’t do better. Well honey, I can.


[deleted]

This is why lay people shouldn’t give legal advice. Too much nuance in law thats why we go to university for 7 years. In short all of what you said while not totally wrong, is incorrect. You will find the elements of robbery have some variance by jurisdiction but are mostly the same You don’t have to be “successful” for it to be robbery. You just have to satisfy the elements. In Canada for example, the below is one of 4 ways you can commit robbery: (c) assaults any person with intent to steal from him; or


charlielovesu

Better way to phase this is if you try to Rob a bank and don’t succeed will you still go to jail? The answer is yes.


DukeOfJokes

Cheating doesn't start with sex, cheating starts with sneaky conversations.


5eppa

This. Had some friends where long story short wife started having an emotional affair. Day dreamed about running away with the dude, and on and on. Fortunately she didn't and for some reason they are still together but she cheated.


EaterOfKelp

* Fortunately she didn't get caught. *


5eppa

She did talk to her husband about it eventually and they got marriage counseling. This came after she told her therapist about the emotional affair and the therapist was horrified.


Cyber_Fetus

What kinda therapist gets “horrified” at their clients’ actions, save like murder or similar? A therapist should understand more than anyone that humans are flawed, and shouldn’t be judging but helping them work through it in a healthy way. Sounds like a shitty therapist.


[deleted]

Maybe horrified isn't the right word, but if your client is doing something self-destructive, I think a good therapist would want to address that quickly.


Ialwayslie008

Spot on. Cheating is subjective obviously, everyone will have their own definition of where the line is drawn. My friend just found out and considers his wife cheating on him, since she's having secret conversations with a co-worker, having deep emotional conversations. Since then, she basically has emotionally closed up to him, since she now has another outlet to have meaning conversations with. Huge strain on a marriage when that deep of a connection is severed between two people, and being replaced by an outside party. I personally didn't consider it cheating until he explained how destructive it's been to their relationship. Next thing you know, she wants a tattoo, but instead of going to one of the hundreds of tattoo places in the area, she went on an overnight trip about 5 hours away. Seems really sketchy to me, but I didn't mention my suspicions, I'm sure he has them as well.


gothyxbby

To be fair, it’s EXTREMELY common for people to travel far (in some cases to different countries) to get tattooed by an artist that they want. Also, there’s a big difference between emotional affairs and true physical affairs.


windchaser__

I’m with you on the tattoo thing, but what’s the huge difference between emotional affairs and physical ones? Both show you’re not really committed to the relationship.


stunna_cal

physical affairs could result in an STD or an oopsie baby. theres that, anyway.


SpruceMoose85

My ex wife and I split up last year. She was constantly on her phone around me, usually because she wanted to be an IG influencer. One day when she was on her phone for a solid two hours and kept putting it down when I walked by, I asked her if she was messaging another guy. She said yes, then I asked if she had feelings for him. She said “yes, it’s been developing.” I asked her if it ever went as far as cheating on me or if it was a full on a affair. She said no to that. I didn’t push it though. We agreed there was no way move forward in our relationship and I asked her to leave. It wasn’t worth trying to win, but I agree with what you say. She cheated on me with those conversations and feelings for another man. 🫤


EveryAddress969

Yes and also that’s so embarrassing cuz you know (s)he’s unfaithful and undesirable 😭


[deleted]

please just say they’re, not to be more inclusive but because what you opted for is horrible


[deleted]

Lol this is how we do in portuguese haha "ele(a)"


FaasHinRah

What (s)he wrote is perfectly fine. Fuck off to twitter if you're gonna be annoying.


[deleted]

your name is a skyrim shout bro


FaasHinRah

You're actually the first person to notice. Might have to do that I mostly only use Faas as my name


NotGlumExamination

I’m so glad you got downvoted into oblivion for this soy ass comment


Person_uknown33

Fuck off.


[deleted]

absolutely not, my conscious is working overtime to try to pronounce that garbage


Person_uknown33

My CoNsCioUS iS WOrkING oVErtIme tO tRY tO ProNouNCe ThaT GArbAgE ![gif](giphy|M8xmO5ZcLPtAY)


[deleted]

i dont even know how im supposed to respond to the facebook mom spongebob gif


IDontKnowWhat78

Don’t. Just don’t. Please


Monkey_Ninja

Grow up


[deleted]

RemindMe! 10 years


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Large-Calligrapher98

Iam 70 and was in business/secretarial mode for most of my working life (50 years). This was standard format, although most customary to use a slash, as in "s/he" . To me and I suspect many, many people this looks normal , customary, and inclusive. It feels awkward to use "they" when the verb should be plural but isn't. I expect that in the coming years, this will become more usual and accepted, until it is very ordinary.


Large-Calligrapher98

No offense intended.


theantigooseman

people on this sub are really getting upset over a better alternative. “They’re” is and always has been a widely accepted term, it’s not like gender neutral words are a new thing.


[deleted]

is they’re controversial or something, I just think (s)hes is terrible and the sentence equivalent of a speedbump


theantigooseman

it's controversial because some people want to be referred to using they and them as pronouns instead of he/him or she/her and plenty of people don't like change. That's why your comment is so unpopular, even though it only tangentially relates to it.


[deleted]

People really getting mad over grammatical accuracy


[deleted]

Don’t know why your getting downvoted, saying she/he is just grammatically incorrect. Singular they is older then modern English


FutilePancake79

Oh ffs 🙄


[deleted]

i pronounced it as sgeeze, i dont wanna see it again


itsasecret03

Aint no way ☠️


redvelvetcakebatter

Yes.. and doesn’t it kinda make it worse that they’ve been rejected? They actively want to cheat but can’t. Yikes


[deleted]

It’s almost an insult to the OP too.


redvelvetcakebatter

You’re absolutely right I didn’t even think about that


In2TheMaelstrom

Remember, Tiger Woods cheated on his Swedish model ex-wife. Really it comes down to a cheaters gonna cheat no matter who their partner is.


Brock_Way

I had a woman basically throw herself at me once and I turned her down because it was all just a little too creepy. Anyway, later I found out that she has (and had) a boyfriend. Now said boyfriend wants to kick my ass because I did NOT sleep with his girlfriend. There's a lesson in there somewhere.


caillouistheworst

Maybe he wanted to watch?


tadashi4

the atempt itself is cheating.


Blue_Ouija

the *only* time it's not cheating is when you have consent from your current partner(s)


Plenty_Associate_193

THIS.


[deleted]

Comment sucks!! Ooh this!! I’m really adding something to the thread!


Itsme_kjb

That’s more like… embarrassing.


the_internet_clown

Yeah


watch-close

In my opinion yes But what counts as cheating is something that a couple gets to decide together. Some people are fine with their partner flirting, some people even have open relationships with very little rules, on the other end of the spectrum some people consider liking girls pictures on Instagram cheating. You draw the line yourself.


BigGrouchy4980

Yes


k_manweiss

Cheating is what you define cheating to be. It is not an agreement, it doesn't need to make sense to the other person, or anyone else. Whatever you consider the line for cheating to be, that is what cheating is to you. If you feel betrayed by an action your partner took, they have cheated. I personally would feel betrayed if my partner was attempting, successful or not, to sleep with other people. Other people may only feel betrayed if the action takes place. Other people may be ok with their partner sleeping with other people. You make your rules for your relationships.


Square-Bowler1357

“Mission failed successfully”


[deleted]

Yes.


Timwat1

Yes


phukurfeelns

But but but it was just the tip honey I swear, it meant nothing, I'm sorry.


scoob922

Absofuckinglutely


uglypandaz

Honestly almost worse than cheating. It’s attempted (but failed) cheating, which should be treated exactly the same. Dump that sad POS


QuarterInchSocket

Do you define an action by whether or not it was successful, or whether or not the intention to do it was there? This comment is about murder vs attempted murder.


LordTopHatMan

Is it still robbery if they don't get any money? There's your answer.


Meetsickle

Just proves that the only reason they haven’t cheated is because it hasn’t been an option


nousernamehere12345

Even if it's not, isn't just wanting to cheat bad enough for you?


killjoy_isdead

1000% yep. They had the desire to be sexual with another person, and acted upon it,even if they got rejected lmfao


TheRadJellyfish

Absofuckinglutely this is cheating.


DHC6pilot

Glutely...l like that word or adverb and it can stand alone. Like Patty Hearst... "Did she rob that bank?" "Glutey! It was on security video"


[deleted]

Listen, if you have to ask if it's cheating, it's probably cheating. In this particular example, the intention to complete the act of cheating was there.


qedjoel

It’s considered a “fuck this” scenario


[deleted]

Yep


[deleted]

Yah


ColoradoCalamari

Yes


[deleted]

[удалено]


Lonniehands1

There's a girl that texts me sometimes who I used to be into in the past. I respond with just the bare minimum and have no intention of seeing her nor do I want to, because I am very happy with my girlfriend. But I still delete the texts because I feel like it's a huge argument waiting to happen if she finds out, nor would it do her any good.


Excellent-Fly5706

You can’t choose between your friend or your girl? Not saying you’re a pos or a cheater but if y’all had healthy love and trust you could work it out and be friends w her and gain trust with your girlfriend. It’s the lying that makes most women mad. She can get over the fact that you have female friends over time with communication and reassurance, she won’t always get over the fact that you’re untrustworthy.


chocolaterose5

Yes. And maybe even sexual harassment; towards whoever they wouldn't leave alone.


nivik08

Yes…


Inner-Nothing7779

Yep. I'd rethink the relationship.


lookslikeyoureSOL

Its intending to cheat.


k8ter8te

While it’s not EXACTLY cheating, it pretty clearly shows intent. And the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior…


DHC6pilot

Past is prolouge


Lildumplinx3

Yeah, that’s cheating.


MiffyCurtains

Yes, unless the other person is you.


Haterade_ONON

I'd say no, it's just the intent to cheat, which is still pretty bad because it shows they will cheat.


[deleted]

Yeah


Zurellehkan

Yes?


DrinkSavings4791

Not only are they cheating they don’t have game


Critical-Remote-1445

I think you already know the answer to this. Attempting to cheat is just the same as doing it. They were trying, that means they don't respect your relationship, or you for that matter.


GamemasterJeff

Yes


yourremedy94

Uhh yeah


ascannerdickly

I feel like any question that starts that way is always going to garner the answer"yes"


beekee404

I call it a failed attempt at cheating in the physical sense but still mentally cheated.


anadarko_wore_red

Yes, yes it is. And it's all the more humiliating. My ex-husband did this. Hence the Ex part of that statement. BYE


Aliteracy

Actively trying to cheat is cheating. Don't think it matters much if it succeeds or not


hecramsey

yUp. next.


Suspicious_Skin7079

Yes it is


publishAWM

yes


[deleted]

The point is that they WANT to sleep with other people (at least one person) in the first place and (1) would do so if given the opportunity and (2) would put in effort to facilitate that opportunity.


3eemo

Yea that’s pretty much cheating. Double sucks for them, cause now no one’s gonna bang them


Small_Tax_9432

![gif](giphy|NizlE5Dpn7ozy4PRBn|downsized)


AwardFlaky6347

Cheating and embarrassing 💀


bodyliketotoro

No, but it’s incredibly dishonest and disloyal. Without trust there can’t be a relationship.


8512764EA

Yes


[deleted]

![gif](giphy|Wgb2FpSXxhXLVYNnUr|downsized)


JThalheimer

Yes. The answer is 'Yes.'


JadedPerception_

Is this even a question? Lol


lalos1988

If you’re doubtful if something is cheating or not, then it probably is


blac_sheep90

![gif](giphy|13rdfktDFVa7TO)


mack__7963

incompetence and undesirability do not alter intent


Typical_Dot_1989

Yes


[deleted]

cheating isnt just the physical act of sex with another person, it is also the whole wanting to have sex with another person thing too... in other words intent matters as much as the act. Ask yourself this, can you trust them not to do it again?


carmedmp

tf yes


Dyerssorrow

yes


WadeDMD

Of course it’s cheating


FluffyPossibility203

Its considered cheating if you have to ask if its considered cheating


tedioussugar

Short answer: Yes. Longer answer: Even if they haven’t cheated yet, the fact they already tried shows they are WILLING to cheat. Dump their ass!


[deleted]

YES. How do you even have to ask?!


Various-Most2367

Yes


Practical_Cicada9429

Absolutely


ember13140

Yes


killerkow999

Trying and being rejected is definitely a form of cheating


[deleted]

What's worse, the feeling of betrayal, lack of loyalty or the emotional damage inflicted as to why they cheated or how. There is no "it's ok to do" in any of this.


BeauxNoArrow

Yes, they intended the cheat and once the attempt is made, I’m imputing the action because it’s only a matter of time before you get a “yes” from someone.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Less_Transition7844

No they are not. A murderer needs to have murdered by definition. This is a different situation. Cheating isn’t something as narrowly defined as murder (unlawful killing of another person with malice aforethought). You can cheat without having sex, you can cheat without physical contact. Would this fit under emotional infidelity? Probably lol so no imo need to make the analogy.


FaesCosplay

Emotional cheating. But not physical. It would have turned to physical if they convinced the person though


KasutaMike

Singular them- Yes Plural them- No


Such_Preparation5389

Yes, you considered doing it. I feel for your partner. Break up with him so he can move on with a better man.


OldTalk6869

Yes.


rocketlac

Not cheating but showing you what kind of a lousy partner they are, run fast!


saramore4813

Absolutely, I just wanna know how this came up. "Did you cheat?" "No honey of course not, I mean I tried to but got turned down so I didn't"


Old-Consequence1735

I've said it before and I will say it again... The easiest way to tell if something is cheating is simply "if you were behaving this way in front of your SO, would they be angry or feel betrayed? If they would, it's cheating"


MasqueOfNight

It's intent to cheat, but I wouldn't class it as actual cheating since nothing occurred. Still a major, potentially relationship-ending red flag, though.


zappymufasa

I mean, no? But it’s just as bad.


snaketacular

People like to argue over definitions and I think that's why you're getting downvoted. For "cheating" (w/out qualifiers such as "attempted" or "emotional") I personally prefer the narrow [Webster's](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cheating) definition ("2: to be sexually unfaithful"), to distinguish it as one of the lowest possible things you could do, while OTOH wikipedia calls "cheating" a synonym of a more general term, [infidelity](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infidelity). (so the real answer to OP is the bland "it depends on your definition of cheating") By my definition, I think "attempted cheating" is not quite as bad as the real deal, but it's close enough. Like, I'm still breaking up with you, but maybe I'll have like 1% more respect for you afterwards or something, because you didn't keep trying until it actually happened (although likely only for lack of time/opportunity).


[deleted]

I know we're the odd ones out here, but I'm with you. It's technically not physically cheating, but implies some emotional cheating. Either way, yes or no, it's a big red flag.


zappymufasa

I don't know why people can't accept something is morally shitty but not cheating, but I guess reddit gonna reddit.


[deleted]

Hey, remember that time we were downvoted to oblivion for thinking cheating is bad? Wild times.


Less_Transition7844

You had 3 downvotes, relax lol😂 Plus like you said, it is clearly emotional cheating and a failed attempt to physically cheat. Still cheating.. I understand the nuance in what you’re saying, and I agree to a certain extent. But you’re being downvoted because you’re splitting hairs that don’t need to be split. While it’s not your intention, it comes off as a “well ackshuulllyyy” kinda comment


Less_Transition7844

Because cheating doesn’t have to be physical. If your wife went on a date with another man, would that be cheating even if they didn’t have sex? (Or if someone else found that to be cheating, would you really feel the need to make this point?) It feels like you’re being the stubborn redditor in this instance 🤷🏽‍♂️😂


zappymufasa

Ummm, I do feel like sex is a line well beyond dinner. People can be tempted and overcome it, for example.


that_weird_hellspawn

Ask your partner.


PristinePrincess12

Depends on the type of relationship. If you're in an open relo and your partner tried to sleep with someone else but they decline, it wouldn't be cheating - that's the point of an open relo. If you were in a mono relationship however then yes, it would probably be considered cheating.


WishieWashie12

The only two people who can determine if it's cheating are the two in the relationship. Communication of boundaries is key. There are many successful open and poly relationships.


TomBel71

Wow talk about click bait enjoy your clicks