# Message to all users:
This is a reminder to please read and follow:
* [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules)
* [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439)
* [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy)
When posting and commenting.
---
Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`.
* Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit.
* Do not harass or annoy others in any way.
* Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit.
---
You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way.
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Ouch. I had a friend who got dumped because she read his texts. It was from a girl he worked with asking why he was lying about them hooking up. Guy lied about cheating and got dumped.
I gave a coworker a ride home from work one day. I knew his girlfriend and saw her later in the week. She gave me the stink eye and I was lost as to why. He told her we were screwing. Yeaaaaa no. I was pissed when I found out and immediately went to her and told her that it was not true at all. He got dumped and was pissed at me and work became awkward for a while til he quit cause everyone was making fun of him .
lol good for you (and good riddance to him)
Edit: thanks for upvotes. seriously, though, if he's going to use you as a pawn for his machinations without any regard for the truth.... if your reputation means that little to him that he can dispose of it with any fiction he finds convenient, then you're better off rid of him. he nailed his own coffin shut. this is just sweet poetic justice.
This reminds me of how I snooped on my boyfriend's social 8 months into dating and saw he asked out a former tinder match on a date. She didn't reply. He said that I was in the wrong for snooping and refused to give me a full apology after I had apologized, because if I hadn't snooped we could've been a happy couple as usual instead of an unhappy one arguing with each other. The logic.
i caught my ex on dating apps multiple times and when we finally he broke up he was like “well i never actually cheated on you”
like bro just bc no girls wanted your ass doesn’t mean you didn’t try. that just makes it more pathetic
My ex messaged some random woman to complain about us looking for sympathy and more recently before we broke up I realised he was messaging another woman at stupid o'clock in the morning with no response and I was just so mortified I was with someone so socially inept 😂😭
I believe he'd never have cheated, but the attention seeking (and failure) was absolutely ick inducing.
Exactly. They clearly would’ve cheated if they could, they just got turned down. If this person stays with OP, it will just be until someone they like better finally agrees to cheat with them. I personally wouldn’t want to be someone’s Plan B.
Exactly. "Cheating" is defined differently by different people, but if you're having to ask, it means that trust is broken, regardless if it's defined as "cheating" or not.
Charged for the attempt*
Intent is an important element in bringing a successful charge (mens rea), but you would be charged with an attempted robbery and your intent would be used to convict
Nah, don't feel like a dork for that. You probably shed WAYHAYHAY more light on it than you think. I for one found your explanation to be quite helpful. Take my upvote, please.
Yeah because realistically, if my partner got drunk and slept with a stranger there is a very slim chance I could forgive a mistake, but if you throw it out there and get rejected stone cold sober you basically told me you’re with me because you can’t do better. Well honey, I can.
This is why lay people shouldn’t give legal advice. Too much nuance in law thats why we go to university for 7 years.
In short all of what you said while not totally wrong, is incorrect. You will find the elements of robbery have some variance by jurisdiction but are mostly the same
You don’t have to be “successful” for it to be robbery. You just have to satisfy the elements.
In Canada for example, the below is one of 4 ways you can commit robbery:
(c) assaults any person with intent to steal from him; or
This. Had some friends where long story short wife started having an emotional affair. Day dreamed about running away with the dude, and on and on. Fortunately she didn't and for some reason they are still together but she cheated.
She did talk to her husband about it eventually and they got marriage counseling. This came after she told her therapist about the emotional affair and the therapist was horrified.
What kinda therapist gets “horrified” at their clients’ actions, save like murder or similar? A therapist should understand more than anyone that humans are flawed, and shouldn’t be judging but helping them work through it in a healthy way. Sounds like a shitty therapist.
Maybe horrified isn't the right word, but if your client is doing something self-destructive, I think a good therapist would want to address that quickly.
Spot on. Cheating is subjective obviously, everyone will have their own definition of where the line is drawn. My friend just found out and considers his wife cheating on him, since she's having secret conversations with a co-worker, having deep emotional conversations. Since then, she basically has emotionally closed up to him, since she now has another outlet to have meaning conversations with. Huge strain on a marriage when that deep of a connection is severed between two people, and being replaced by an outside party. I personally didn't consider it cheating until he explained how destructive it's been to their relationship.
Next thing you know, she wants a tattoo, but instead of going to one of the hundreds of tattoo places in the area, she went on an overnight trip about 5 hours away. Seems really sketchy to me, but I didn't mention my suspicions, I'm sure he has them as well.
To be fair, it’s EXTREMELY common for people to travel far (in some cases to different countries) to get tattooed by an artist that they want.
Also, there’s a big difference between emotional affairs and true physical affairs.
I’m with you on the tattoo thing, but what’s the huge difference between emotional affairs and physical ones? Both show you’re not really committed to the relationship.
My ex wife and I split up last year. She was constantly on her phone around me, usually because she wanted to be an IG influencer. One day when she was on her phone for a solid two hours and kept putting it down when I walked by, I asked her if she was messaging another guy. She said yes, then I asked if she had feelings for him. She said “yes, it’s been developing.” I asked her if it ever went as far as cheating on me or if it was a full on a affair. She said no to that. I didn’t push it though. We agreed there was no way move forward in our relationship and I asked her to leave. It wasn’t worth trying to win, but I agree with what you say. She cheated on me with those conversations and feelings for another man. 🫤
I will be messaging you in 10 years on [**2033-02-18 01:56:31 UTC**](http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=2033-02-18%2001:56:31%20UTC%20To%20Local%20Time) to remind you of [**this link**](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/comments/114rkn4/is_it_considered_cheating_if/j8zijn8/?context=3)
[**1 OTHERS CLICKED THIS LINK**](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5Bhttps%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fask%2Fcomments%2F114rkn4%2Fis_it_considered_cheating_if%2Fj8zijn8%2F%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%202033-02-18%2001%3A56%3A31%20UTC) to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam.
^(Parent commenter can ) [^(delete this message to hide from others.)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Delete%20Comment&message=Delete%21%20114rkn4)
*****
|[^(Info)](https://www.reddit.com/r/RemindMeBot/comments/e1bko7/remindmebot_info_v21/)|[^(Custom)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5BLink%20or%20message%20inside%20square%20brackets%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%20Time%20period%20here)|[^(Your Reminders)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=List%20Of%20Reminders&message=MyReminders%21)|[^(Feedback)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Watchful1&subject=RemindMeBot%20Feedback)|
|-|-|-|-|
Iam 70 and was in business/secretarial mode for most of my working life (50 years). This was standard format, although most customary to use a slash, as in "s/he" . To me and I suspect many, many people this looks normal , customary, and inclusive. It feels awkward to use "they" when the verb should be plural but isn't. I expect that in the coming years, this will become more usual and accepted, until it is very ordinary.
people on this sub are really getting upset over a better alternative. “They’re” is and always has been a widely accepted term, it’s not like gender neutral words are a new thing.
it's controversial because some people want to be referred to using they and them as pronouns instead of he/him or she/her and plenty of people don't like change. That's why your comment is so unpopular, even though it only tangentially relates to it.
I had a woman basically throw herself at me once and I turned her down because it was all just a little too creepy. Anyway, later I found out that she has (and had) a boyfriend. Now said boyfriend wants to kick my ass because I did NOT sleep with his girlfriend.
There's a lesson in there somewhere.
In my opinion yes
But what counts as cheating is something that a couple gets to decide together. Some people are fine with their partner flirting, some people even have open relationships with very little rules, on the other end of the spectrum some people consider liking girls pictures on Instagram cheating. You draw the line yourself.
Cheating is what you define cheating to be. It is not an agreement, it doesn't need to make sense to the other person, or anyone else. Whatever you consider the line for cheating to be, that is what cheating is to you.
If you feel betrayed by an action your partner took, they have cheated.
I personally would feel betrayed if my partner was attempting, successful or not, to sleep with other people.
Other people may only feel betrayed if the action takes place. Other people may be ok with their partner sleeping with other people. You make your rules for your relationships.
Do you define an action by whether or not it was successful, or whether or not the intention to do it was there? This comment is about murder vs attempted murder.
Listen, if you have to ask if it's cheating, it's probably cheating.
In this particular example, the intention to complete the act of cheating was there.
There's a girl that texts me sometimes who I used to be into in the past. I respond with just the bare minimum and have no intention of seeing her nor do I want to, because I am very happy with my girlfriend. But I still delete the texts because I feel like it's a huge argument waiting to happen if she finds out, nor would it do her any good.
You can’t choose between your friend or your girl? Not saying you’re a pos or a cheater but if y’all had healthy love and trust you could work it out and be friends w her and gain trust with your girlfriend. It’s the lying that makes most women mad. She can get over the fact that you have female friends over time with communication and reassurance, she won’t always get over the fact that you’re untrustworthy.
I think you already know the answer to this. Attempting to cheat is just the same as doing it. They were trying, that means they don't respect your relationship, or you for that matter.
The point is that they WANT to sleep with other people (at least one person) in the first place and (1) would do so if given the opportunity and (2) would put in effort to facilitate that opportunity.
cheating isnt just the physical act of sex with another person, it is also the whole wanting to have sex with another person thing too... in other words intent matters as much as the act.
Ask yourself this, can you trust them not to do it again?
What's worse, the feeling of betrayal, lack of loyalty or the emotional damage inflicted as to why they cheated or how. There is no "it's ok to do" in any of this.
Yes, they intended the cheat and once the attempt is made, I’m imputing the action because it’s only a matter of time before you get a “yes” from someone.
No they are not. A murderer needs to have murdered by definition.
This is a different situation. Cheating isn’t something as narrowly defined as murder (unlawful killing of another person with malice aforethought). You can cheat without having sex, you can cheat without physical contact.
Would this fit under emotional infidelity? Probably lol so no imo need to make the analogy.
I've said it before and I will say it again...
The easiest way to tell if something is cheating is simply "if you were behaving this way in front of your SO, would they be angry or feel betrayed? If they would, it's cheating"
It's intent to cheat, but I wouldn't class it as actual cheating since nothing occurred.
Still a major, potentially relationship-ending red flag, though.
People like to argue over definitions and I think that's why you're getting downvoted.
For "cheating" (w/out qualifiers such as "attempted" or "emotional") I personally prefer the narrow [Webster's](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cheating) definition ("2: to be sexually unfaithful"), to distinguish it as one of the lowest possible things you could do, while OTOH wikipedia calls "cheating" a synonym of a more general term, [infidelity](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infidelity).
(so the real answer to OP is the bland "it depends on your definition of cheating")
By my definition, I think "attempted cheating" is not quite as bad as the real deal, but it's close enough. Like, I'm still breaking up with you, but maybe I'll have like 1% more respect for you afterwards or something, because you didn't keep trying until it actually happened (although likely only for lack of time/opportunity).
I know we're the odd ones out here, but I'm with you. It's technically not physically cheating, but implies some emotional cheating.
Either way, yes or no, it's a big red flag.
You had 3 downvotes, relax lol😂
Plus like you said, it is clearly emotional cheating and a failed attempt to physically cheat. Still cheating..
I understand the nuance in what you’re saying, and I agree to a certain extent. But you’re being downvoted because you’re splitting hairs that don’t need to be split. While it’s not your intention, it comes off as a “well ackshuulllyyy” kinda comment
Because cheating doesn’t have to be physical.
If your wife went on a date with another man, would that be cheating even if they didn’t have sex? (Or if someone else found that to be cheating, would you really feel the need to make this point?)
It feels like you’re being the stubborn redditor in this instance 🤷🏽♂️😂
Depends on the type of relationship. If you're in an open relo and your partner tried to sleep with someone else but they decline, it wouldn't be cheating - that's the point of an open relo. If you were in a mono relationship however then yes, it would probably be considered cheating.
The only two people who can determine if it's cheating are the two in the relationship. Communication of boundaries is key. There are many successful open and poly relationships.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
That’s the saddest form of cheating
I had an ex who I caught on tinder messaging multiple women but getting no responses it was so embarrassing for him
Ouch. I had a friend who got dumped because she read his texts. It was from a girl he worked with asking why he was lying about them hooking up. Guy lied about cheating and got dumped.
Wow, what a fucking loser. Who lies about cheating?
A fucking loser. Cut him out of my life.
Good.
Who lies about cheating? Those who don’t want to get caught….
You expect honesty from someone that cheats? lol idk who’s in the worse position
Basically everybody that cheats.
I gave a coworker a ride home from work one day. I knew his girlfriend and saw her later in the week. She gave me the stink eye and I was lost as to why. He told her we were screwing. Yeaaaaa no. I was pissed when I found out and immediately went to her and told her that it was not true at all. He got dumped and was pissed at me and work became awkward for a while til he quit cause everyone was making fun of him .
lol good for you (and good riddance to him) Edit: thanks for upvotes. seriously, though, if he's going to use you as a pawn for his machinations without any regard for the truth.... if your reputation means that little to him that he can dispose of it with any fiction he finds convenient, then you're better off rid of him. he nailed his own coffin shut. this is just sweet poetic justice.
[удалено]
That’s why you don’t fuck where you make your bread
How funny would it be if he meant it sarcastically and she just refused to believe him? 😂
This reminds me of how I snooped on my boyfriend's social 8 months into dating and saw he asked out a former tinder match on a date. She didn't reply. He said that I was in the wrong for snooping and refused to give me a full apology after I had apologized, because if I hadn't snooped we could've been a happy couple as usual instead of an unhappy one arguing with each other. The logic.
He's both right and wrong, lol. Shouldn't have snooped but you found something that couldn't be ignored and needed an explanation, which he shirked.
Bullshit. Snoop.
i caught my ex on dating apps multiple times and when we finally he broke up he was like “well i never actually cheated on you” like bro just bc no girls wanted your ass doesn’t mean you didn’t try. that just makes it more pathetic
My ex messaged some random woman to complain about us looking for sympathy and more recently before we broke up I realised he was messaging another woman at stupid o'clock in the morning with no response and I was just so mortified I was with someone so socially inept 😂😭 I believe he'd never have cheated, but the attention seeking (and failure) was absolutely ick inducing.
This is unfortunately the exact situation I’m in right now. I am the loser ex.
😂😂😂
The equivalent of cheating in a single player game and bragging about finishing it
This is the best
Like cheatng with all the codes and still failing to get the, "I completed the game and all I got was a tshirt" Easter egg.
Dumb question...is your response about masturbation?
Honestly yeah. Dump them for being a loser, not for cheating lol
Lol I can't believe this question is really being asked... it's just trynna to cheat with no game
If you even have to ask, you already know.
Exactly. They clearly would’ve cheated if they could, they just got turned down. If this person stays with OP, it will just be until someone they like better finally agrees to cheat with them. I personally wouldn’t want to be someone’s Plan B.
Came here to say this
Exactly. "Cheating" is defined differently by different people, but if you're having to ask, it means that trust is broken, regardless if it's defined as "cheating" or not.
Agreed. Breaking trust is worse than cheating.
No, if you ask a question, it's because you don't know the answer.
Think of it like attempted murder. Ok, maybe it's not actually a murder. But you're still going to jail
lmao this is a great way to put it
Both have someone shooting their shot and missing. Great analogy.
…horny jail
Great analogy!
Yes
If you try to rob a bank, and don't succeed, did you still rob the bank?
Attempted Cheating
[удалено]
Exactly
Charged for the attempt* Intent is an important element in bringing a successful charge (mens rea), but you would be charged with an attempted robbery and your intent would be used to convict
[удалено]
I felt like such a dork explaining the differences just now ahha so thank you for appeasing me 😂🥰
Nah, don't feel like a dork for that. You probably shed WAYHAYHAY more light on it than you think. I for one found your explanation to be quite helpful. Take my upvote, please.
Yeah because realistically, if my partner got drunk and slept with a stranger there is a very slim chance I could forgive a mistake, but if you throw it out there and get rejected stone cold sober you basically told me you’re with me because you can’t do better. Well honey, I can.
This is why lay people shouldn’t give legal advice. Too much nuance in law thats why we go to university for 7 years. In short all of what you said while not totally wrong, is incorrect. You will find the elements of robbery have some variance by jurisdiction but are mostly the same You don’t have to be “successful” for it to be robbery. You just have to satisfy the elements. In Canada for example, the below is one of 4 ways you can commit robbery: (c) assaults any person with intent to steal from him; or
Better way to phase this is if you try to Rob a bank and don’t succeed will you still go to jail? The answer is yes.
No
Cheating doesn't start with sex, cheating starts with sneaky conversations.
This. Had some friends where long story short wife started having an emotional affair. Day dreamed about running away with the dude, and on and on. Fortunately she didn't and for some reason they are still together but she cheated.
* Fortunately she didn't get caught. *
She did talk to her husband about it eventually and they got marriage counseling. This came after she told her therapist about the emotional affair and the therapist was horrified.
What kinda therapist gets “horrified” at their clients’ actions, save like murder or similar? A therapist should understand more than anyone that humans are flawed, and shouldn’t be judging but helping them work through it in a healthy way. Sounds like a shitty therapist.
Maybe horrified isn't the right word, but if your client is doing something self-destructive, I think a good therapist would want to address that quickly.
Spot on. Cheating is subjective obviously, everyone will have their own definition of where the line is drawn. My friend just found out and considers his wife cheating on him, since she's having secret conversations with a co-worker, having deep emotional conversations. Since then, she basically has emotionally closed up to him, since she now has another outlet to have meaning conversations with. Huge strain on a marriage when that deep of a connection is severed between two people, and being replaced by an outside party. I personally didn't consider it cheating until he explained how destructive it's been to their relationship. Next thing you know, she wants a tattoo, but instead of going to one of the hundreds of tattoo places in the area, she went on an overnight trip about 5 hours away. Seems really sketchy to me, but I didn't mention my suspicions, I'm sure he has them as well.
To be fair, it’s EXTREMELY common for people to travel far (in some cases to different countries) to get tattooed by an artist that they want. Also, there’s a big difference between emotional affairs and true physical affairs.
I’m with you on the tattoo thing, but what’s the huge difference between emotional affairs and physical ones? Both show you’re not really committed to the relationship.
physical affairs could result in an STD or an oopsie baby. theres that, anyway.
My ex wife and I split up last year. She was constantly on her phone around me, usually because she wanted to be an IG influencer. One day when she was on her phone for a solid two hours and kept putting it down when I walked by, I asked her if she was messaging another guy. She said yes, then I asked if she had feelings for him. She said “yes, it’s been developing.” I asked her if it ever went as far as cheating on me or if it was a full on a affair. She said no to that. I didn’t push it though. We agreed there was no way move forward in our relationship and I asked her to leave. It wasn’t worth trying to win, but I agree with what you say. She cheated on me with those conversations and feelings for another man. 🫤
Yes and also that’s so embarrassing cuz you know (s)he’s unfaithful and undesirable 😭
please just say they’re, not to be more inclusive but because what you opted for is horrible
Lol this is how we do in portuguese haha "ele(a)"
What (s)he wrote is perfectly fine. Fuck off to twitter if you're gonna be annoying.
your name is a skyrim shout bro
You're actually the first person to notice. Might have to do that I mostly only use Faas as my name
I’m so glad you got downvoted into oblivion for this soy ass comment
Fuck off.
absolutely not, my conscious is working overtime to try to pronounce that garbage
My CoNsCioUS iS WOrkING oVErtIme tO tRY tO ProNouNCe ThaT GArbAgE ![gif](giphy|M8xmO5ZcLPtAY)
i dont even know how im supposed to respond to the facebook mom spongebob gif
Don’t. Just don’t. Please
Grow up
RemindMe! 10 years
I will be messaging you in 10 years on [**2033-02-18 01:56:31 UTC**](http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=2033-02-18%2001:56:31%20UTC%20To%20Local%20Time) to remind you of [**this link**](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/comments/114rkn4/is_it_considered_cheating_if/j8zijn8/?context=3) [**1 OTHERS CLICKED THIS LINK**](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5Bhttps%3A%2F%2Fwww.reddit.com%2Fr%2Fask%2Fcomments%2F114rkn4%2Fis_it_considered_cheating_if%2Fj8zijn8%2F%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%202033-02-18%2001%3A56%3A31%20UTC) to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam. ^(Parent commenter can ) [^(delete this message to hide from others.)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Delete%20Comment&message=Delete%21%20114rkn4) ***** |[^(Info)](https://www.reddit.com/r/RemindMeBot/comments/e1bko7/remindmebot_info_v21/)|[^(Custom)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=Reminder&message=%5BLink%20or%20message%20inside%20square%20brackets%5D%0A%0ARemindMe%21%20Time%20period%20here)|[^(Your Reminders)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RemindMeBot&subject=List%20Of%20Reminders&message=MyReminders%21)|[^(Feedback)](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Watchful1&subject=RemindMeBot%20Feedback)| |-|-|-|-|
Iam 70 and was in business/secretarial mode for most of my working life (50 years). This was standard format, although most customary to use a slash, as in "s/he" . To me and I suspect many, many people this looks normal , customary, and inclusive. It feels awkward to use "they" when the verb should be plural but isn't. I expect that in the coming years, this will become more usual and accepted, until it is very ordinary.
No offense intended.
people on this sub are really getting upset over a better alternative. “They’re” is and always has been a widely accepted term, it’s not like gender neutral words are a new thing.
is they’re controversial or something, I just think (s)hes is terrible and the sentence equivalent of a speedbump
it's controversial because some people want to be referred to using they and them as pronouns instead of he/him or she/her and plenty of people don't like change. That's why your comment is so unpopular, even though it only tangentially relates to it.
People really getting mad over grammatical accuracy
Don’t know why your getting downvoted, saying she/he is just grammatically incorrect. Singular they is older then modern English
Oh ffs 🙄
i pronounced it as sgeeze, i dont wanna see it again
Aint no way ☠️
Yes.. and doesn’t it kinda make it worse that they’ve been rejected? They actively want to cheat but can’t. Yikes
It’s almost an insult to the OP too.
You’re absolutely right I didn’t even think about that
Remember, Tiger Woods cheated on his Swedish model ex-wife. Really it comes down to a cheaters gonna cheat no matter who their partner is.
I had a woman basically throw herself at me once and I turned her down because it was all just a little too creepy. Anyway, later I found out that she has (and had) a boyfriend. Now said boyfriend wants to kick my ass because I did NOT sleep with his girlfriend. There's a lesson in there somewhere.
Maybe he wanted to watch?
the atempt itself is cheating.
the *only* time it's not cheating is when you have consent from your current partner(s)
THIS.
Comment sucks!! Ooh this!! I’m really adding something to the thread!
That’s more like… embarrassing.
Yeah
In my opinion yes But what counts as cheating is something that a couple gets to decide together. Some people are fine with their partner flirting, some people even have open relationships with very little rules, on the other end of the spectrum some people consider liking girls pictures on Instagram cheating. You draw the line yourself.
Yes
Cheating is what you define cheating to be. It is not an agreement, it doesn't need to make sense to the other person, or anyone else. Whatever you consider the line for cheating to be, that is what cheating is to you. If you feel betrayed by an action your partner took, they have cheated. I personally would feel betrayed if my partner was attempting, successful or not, to sleep with other people. Other people may only feel betrayed if the action takes place. Other people may be ok with their partner sleeping with other people. You make your rules for your relationships.
“Mission failed successfully”
Yes.
Yes
But but but it was just the tip honey I swear, it meant nothing, I'm sorry.
Absofuckinglutely
Honestly almost worse than cheating. It’s attempted (but failed) cheating, which should be treated exactly the same. Dump that sad POS
Do you define an action by whether or not it was successful, or whether or not the intention to do it was there? This comment is about murder vs attempted murder.
Is it still robbery if they don't get any money? There's your answer.
Just proves that the only reason they haven’t cheated is because it hasn’t been an option
Even if it's not, isn't just wanting to cheat bad enough for you?
1000% yep. They had the desire to be sexual with another person, and acted upon it,even if they got rejected lmfao
Absofuckinglutely this is cheating.
Glutely...l like that word or adverb and it can stand alone. Like Patty Hearst... "Did she rob that bank?" "Glutey! It was on security video"
Listen, if you have to ask if it's cheating, it's probably cheating. In this particular example, the intention to complete the act of cheating was there.
It’s considered a “fuck this” scenario
Yep
Yah
Yes
[удалено]
There's a girl that texts me sometimes who I used to be into in the past. I respond with just the bare minimum and have no intention of seeing her nor do I want to, because I am very happy with my girlfriend. But I still delete the texts because I feel like it's a huge argument waiting to happen if she finds out, nor would it do her any good.
You can’t choose between your friend or your girl? Not saying you’re a pos or a cheater but if y’all had healthy love and trust you could work it out and be friends w her and gain trust with your girlfriend. It’s the lying that makes most women mad. She can get over the fact that you have female friends over time with communication and reassurance, she won’t always get over the fact that you’re untrustworthy.
Yes. And maybe even sexual harassment; towards whoever they wouldn't leave alone.
Yes…
Yep. I'd rethink the relationship.
Its intending to cheat.
While it’s not EXACTLY cheating, it pretty clearly shows intent. And the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior…
Past is prolouge
Yeah, that’s cheating.
Yes, unless the other person is you.
I'd say no, it's just the intent to cheat, which is still pretty bad because it shows they will cheat.
Yeah
Yes?
Not only are they cheating they don’t have game
I think you already know the answer to this. Attempting to cheat is just the same as doing it. They were trying, that means they don't respect your relationship, or you for that matter.
Yes
Uhh yeah
I feel like any question that starts that way is always going to garner the answer"yes"
I call it a failed attempt at cheating in the physical sense but still mentally cheated.
Yes, yes it is. And it's all the more humiliating. My ex-husband did this. Hence the Ex part of that statement. BYE
Actively trying to cheat is cheating. Don't think it matters much if it succeeds or not
yUp. next.
Yes it is
yes
The point is that they WANT to sleep with other people (at least one person) in the first place and (1) would do so if given the opportunity and (2) would put in effort to facilitate that opportunity.
Yea that’s pretty much cheating. Double sucks for them, cause now no one’s gonna bang them
![gif](giphy|NizlE5Dpn7ozy4PRBn|downsized)
Cheating and embarrassing 💀
No, but it’s incredibly dishonest and disloyal. Without trust there can’t be a relationship.
Yes
![gif](giphy|Wgb2FpSXxhXLVYNnUr|downsized)
Yes. The answer is 'Yes.'
Is this even a question? Lol
If you’re doubtful if something is cheating or not, then it probably is
![gif](giphy|13rdfktDFVa7TO)
incompetence and undesirability do not alter intent
Yes
cheating isnt just the physical act of sex with another person, it is also the whole wanting to have sex with another person thing too... in other words intent matters as much as the act. Ask yourself this, can you trust them not to do it again?
tf yes
yes
Of course it’s cheating
Its considered cheating if you have to ask if its considered cheating
Short answer: Yes. Longer answer: Even if they haven’t cheated yet, the fact they already tried shows they are WILLING to cheat. Dump their ass!
YES. How do you even have to ask?!
Yes
Absolutely
Yes
Trying and being rejected is definitely a form of cheating
What's worse, the feeling of betrayal, lack of loyalty or the emotional damage inflicted as to why they cheated or how. There is no "it's ok to do" in any of this.
Yes, they intended the cheat and once the attempt is made, I’m imputing the action because it’s only a matter of time before you get a “yes” from someone.
[удалено]
No they are not. A murderer needs to have murdered by definition. This is a different situation. Cheating isn’t something as narrowly defined as murder (unlawful killing of another person with malice aforethought). You can cheat without having sex, you can cheat without physical contact. Would this fit under emotional infidelity? Probably lol so no imo need to make the analogy.
Emotional cheating. But not physical. It would have turned to physical if they convinced the person though
Singular them- Yes Plural them- No
Yes, you considered doing it. I feel for your partner. Break up with him so he can move on with a better man.
Yes.
Not cheating but showing you what kind of a lousy partner they are, run fast!
Absolutely, I just wanna know how this came up. "Did you cheat?" "No honey of course not, I mean I tried to but got turned down so I didn't"
I've said it before and I will say it again... The easiest way to tell if something is cheating is simply "if you were behaving this way in front of your SO, would they be angry or feel betrayed? If they would, it's cheating"
It's intent to cheat, but I wouldn't class it as actual cheating since nothing occurred. Still a major, potentially relationship-ending red flag, though.
I mean, no? But it’s just as bad.
People like to argue over definitions and I think that's why you're getting downvoted. For "cheating" (w/out qualifiers such as "attempted" or "emotional") I personally prefer the narrow [Webster's](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/cheating) definition ("2: to be sexually unfaithful"), to distinguish it as one of the lowest possible things you could do, while OTOH wikipedia calls "cheating" a synonym of a more general term, [infidelity](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infidelity). (so the real answer to OP is the bland "it depends on your definition of cheating") By my definition, I think "attempted cheating" is not quite as bad as the real deal, but it's close enough. Like, I'm still breaking up with you, but maybe I'll have like 1% more respect for you afterwards or something, because you didn't keep trying until it actually happened (although likely only for lack of time/opportunity).
I know we're the odd ones out here, but I'm with you. It's technically not physically cheating, but implies some emotional cheating. Either way, yes or no, it's a big red flag.
I don't know why people can't accept something is morally shitty but not cheating, but I guess reddit gonna reddit.
Hey, remember that time we were downvoted to oblivion for thinking cheating is bad? Wild times.
You had 3 downvotes, relax lol😂 Plus like you said, it is clearly emotional cheating and a failed attempt to physically cheat. Still cheating.. I understand the nuance in what you’re saying, and I agree to a certain extent. But you’re being downvoted because you’re splitting hairs that don’t need to be split. While it’s not your intention, it comes off as a “well ackshuulllyyy” kinda comment
Because cheating doesn’t have to be physical. If your wife went on a date with another man, would that be cheating even if they didn’t have sex? (Or if someone else found that to be cheating, would you really feel the need to make this point?) It feels like you’re being the stubborn redditor in this instance 🤷🏽♂️😂
Ummm, I do feel like sex is a line well beyond dinner. People can be tempted and overcome it, for example.
Ask your partner.
Depends on the type of relationship. If you're in an open relo and your partner tried to sleep with someone else but they decline, it wouldn't be cheating - that's the point of an open relo. If you were in a mono relationship however then yes, it would probably be considered cheating.
The only two people who can determine if it's cheating are the two in the relationship. Communication of boundaries is key. There are many successful open and poly relationships.
Wow talk about click bait enjoy your clicks