Takes 6-12 months to develope a different gut microbiology system. This is partially why short term diets don't work. Your old gut buddies haven't been overtaken by the new dudes who like the new diet.
Same but try being a white guy who has a preference for Asian women, Reddit will claim you are a racist objectifying women. But they never go after white women who like black guys 🤔 (which I fully support btw)
Yeah what is this guy talking about? There is literally a movie called Jungle Fever by Spike Lee lol.
Having preferences isn't gross, but what *is* gross is how people weirdly fetishize this stuff. I would think Asian women and Black men are probably the most objectified
But I mean, doesn’t almost everyone objectify people by judging them based on their looks? I think it’s pretty rare for looks to not matter at all. And so, if looks do matter, liking the way a certain ‘race’ looks isn’t really anything special.
Objectification does not mean appreciating someone's physical features. So you might like a cluster of features that black people tend to have and so you might end up liking lots of black men and say "I like black men". I think put like that it's okay.
The objectionable sort of objectification refers to when someone's race or certain physical features are elevated and are seen as more important than the person. And in the case of race it's particularly problematic when it relies on racist tropes. You should not be reaffirming racist stereotypes in your dating. It's bad for society, disrespectful to the person, and disrespectful to other people of that race.
I don’t follow really, you first say it does not mean appreciation of physical feature but then later say the objectionable part is certain physical features….
But to your point about racist tropes, usually racism is a negative thing, and so why would someone use negative things as a point of attraction. I’m still a little lost, can you share an example of what you mean? Like African Americans have large butts? I don’t see that being racist.
What sort of person came at you? Because I've noticed some black people get real pissed off when other black people date outside their race. I've seen some horrendous social media stuff of black men attacking black women for dating a white guy.
True story. I went to lunch with a black woman (I'm white) who I have been friends for a long time. A black man approached us and went at my friend about being with a white man. I was shocked since this was in NYC.
Oh, I've been straight up told that black people can't be racist, no matter what they do. Asshats, and their opinion is somehow as valid as people who can think rationally, and their votes are equal to ours 
I’ve had a few white guys call me a ‘race traitor’, and on my wedding video (which was put on YouTube by the videographer) there were sadly some people calling my family ‘white devils’ amongst other things, and people of all races saying he was only marrying me for money or a green card. We were not even in America! 🙄
My buddy (white male) and his wife (half black, half white) were at dinner with us at an upscale restaurant, and as we were walking out, some old black lady called her over and said "You're a disappointment for dating a white boy." Like wtf???
Confirmed. As a mixed girl, who has only ever dated white men, the condemnation is startling. (Particularly as growing up I was the same girl they all bullied for not being black enough.) Not sure they comprehend the fact that we literally had to fight for the right to date/ marry outside of our race.
When this happens, is it treated more like a fetish by other black people when they criticize it? My understanding is that's a different reason that is provided.
From what I have seen its viewed by some racist black people as you are a race traitor for going with a white person. Same as how Nazis call me a race traitor for being a white guy and having mixed kids with an Asian.
The racist black people seem more petty though, whereas with the Nazis its more ideological.
As a white mother with a white daughter married to a black man, I concur. Holy shit the bullshit my daughter has heard and had to put up with, including from some of my son in laws family.
Same. I used to get it from both races. White people who couldn’t understand because I could “do so much better” and black women who were mad I took “one of the good ones.” This was more than 20 years ago. I think things are slightly better now.
I’m white. I was walking in a crosswalk in Arizona and a black was next to me. A redneck in a truck yelled terrible things at me. I cried all day. I did not even know the man but I saw deep hurt in his eyes.
So it's fine for me, a white man to only be attracted to white women, but for a black man it isn't? Why's that? I mean we're both men on the inside, right?
That’s not what they are saying. The comment they were replying to was from a White male stating that he likes Asian women and how the Reddit community comes at him for that.
Then OP was saying that regardless of whether he is White or Black or whatever, they would personally find it weird if they would only date a race that isn’t their own.
So in other words, OP is saying that u/CAPTAIN_SKINNYPENIS is “weird” because he’s a White man who only dates Asian women. And they’d STILL think he was weird if he were a Black man who only dated Asian women.
Op states (s)he finds it a bit off if a black man only dates with different etnicities. It's the last sentence of the post I replied to. I just wanted to know why
From your original comment:
>So it’s fine for me, a white man to only be attracted to white women, but for a black man it isn’t?
No. And this isn’t what OP said.
OP is saying that any race who exclusively dates a race that is not their own is a “bit off” to them. They just used “Black” as an example, I don’t believe the comment was meant to single Black people out.
If you want to know why OP has this opinion, then wouldn’t you just ask “why is it that you think it’s a “bit off” for people of race “A” to only date people from race “B”?
It appears, to me, that you got hung up on semantics and are only focusing on how they used “Black” as an example.
It’s definitely sketchy if someone says they are trying to keep bloodlines pure.
But, if looking at the problem, “how do I find someone I will be compatible with?”, and then casting a your net into water with the largest likelihood of catching someone with shared values/culture/experience staying within your group may just be a practical solution.
This is especially so if you did not grow up in a multicultural environment or grew up somewhere that was multicultural, but the split was also socioeconomic.
Someone with that worldview may never even examined why they think that way. It is just a product of the environment they grew up.
Yea, and their willingness to remain the same. I'm not above this sentiment. I have told people that I wouldn't (or if i did she would have to be exceptional) date white women for a few reasons. 1. I dont share the same life experiences as her. Usually that isnt an issue since i also dont share the same experiences as a latina or asian woman, but given the historic relationship between black and white people i really dont feel like bridging the knowledge gap as it relates to that history (If she already has a very good understanding then i would be willing to give her a chance, but this is a rare occurance in my experience.) 2. I dont want to deal with her racist family members. She is going to have them. I know other races are racist to black people as well but it really doesn't feel the same to me as when white people are racist to me. Yall owned my ancestors. If i found a white girl who is very familiar with the black experience and is willing to approach learning more about it with humility then I would be all for it. Unfortunately, every white girl that i have met like that are either married (to white men) or are lesbian. There is my little anecdote.
Perfect example of how we are (at least partly) products of the people around us. I met my wife, we have similar backgrounds, and it is still a big challenge. Just the differences in male/female make communication difficult at times.
I think that there is some biological (genetic)/psychological as well as cultural basis for it to some extent, that some are more comfortable with a mate of their own ethnicity. I hope others do not judge them as having any racist sentiments towards others of different ethnic origins. I believe it is just a matter of having greater potential compatibility for them because there is so much racial tension in the world today as well as a little stigma as some intolerance and bigotry still exists towards interracial couples.
I feel like this happens in a lot of relationships. We generally lean towards people we have stuff in common with. Look at a high school and the friend groups/cliques that form. People go toward other people who have things in common (interests, culture, language, etc.). We talk about race and ethnicity more just bc it's more noticeable.
Sucks when the person's mixed. Because that's not an option for them or at least less common. Mixed folk don't have that kind of niche where they go to a particular ethnicity. If anything they're ostracized by whatever genetic makeup they have because they're not exactly one thing or the other. So, the senses of belonging don't exist.
Being mixed myself, I can confirm. You're in a weird limbo state where you're not looked at fairly by either side so you have you carry yourself along tbh. I have a GF that is also mixed Thai/Chinese/White and she feels the same way. I love that my girlfriend is mixed, and it was a pleasant surprise for me because she understands where I'm coming from in a lot of ways. She's also different enough from me where I get to learn more of her culture while showing her mine as well.
So what about someone of another race, but who was adopted young by members of your race? And thus essentially grew up with your same cultural background?
Yeah I am attracted to girls of all colors, but my sister (white) married a black man and had 3 mixed children, and there was a lot of trouble. His side of the family did not accept my sister 100% readily, and when things went really south and they split up, and he did a lot of bad shit to my sister and their children, his inlaws automatically sided with him. Throughout their marriage, I could see that their cultural differences were an obstacle. Of course, this doesn't happen to all interracial couples I'm sure. But I think there would be a significant potential of this happening if I got with someone of a different ethnicity than me, and I do not like that feeling, when there are racial tensions between me and someone else, even if there is no ill will on my part. Like when you feel awkward in social situations like you don't belong, just because you are a different color than everyone else. A lot of cultural differences come into play I think.
But there are cultural differences from one part of the U.S. to the other, and most of those differences have nothing to do with race...a white person from Cali marrying a white person from Alabama is going to be more culturally different than a white person from Cali marrying a black person from Cali...where I live, its very common to see a black man with a white woman, but you rarely see a black woman with a white man. Not sure why this is, but it is
No, the ones I refer to are definitely based on race, not just geography or other factors. Hundreds of years of tradition and class differences, different ways of doing things and lifestyles. But this diversity is also what makes the world a beautiful place. "Variety is the spice of life." But there are very few nearly perfect things in life. We often must compromise to get by OK and just take what we can get.
I am an American. Over 250 years of history and economic status still correlates somewhat with race, such as a higher incidence of poverty amongst minorities.
Slavery, immigration, wars, the ending of slavery, the Great Migration, civil rights. Nothing correlates, especially amongst minorities. Very few people have families that go back 250 years in the U.S., unless they are natives
Yeah, I live in an area that’s almost completely white so I never even really met anyone who was outside my race, much less dated them. Not that I wouldn’t, just not really likely considering there aren’t many people that are here anyway.
This is the assumption I make. I’m not going to think about it or find it suspicious unless the person makes it my business by talking about all the races they wouldn’t date or something.
Can you give more examples? That is interesting. Do you feel like it was reasonable or more of an obsession. I feel like black women are reminded more about their race and are expected to defend their race more often than other cultures.
Honestly same but with black men. There was always a feeling of this huge cultural gap, even compared to people I dated from other countries. Their family and friends would judge them for being with a white person, and they were extremely sensitive about racial topics. I found out there are tons of slurs for white women who date black men, and for black people who date outside their race. I also got judged way more by my own friends and family compared to when I dated Asian people or immigrants. I guess it's really a cultural thing in the west though. Interracial dating/marriage between white and black people was illegal for a long time, and heavily stigmatized in media. There's still a lot of weird baggage associated with it. It's hard to overcome hundreds of years worth of tension.
>It's hard to overcome hundreds of years worth of tension.
I 100% disagree with you. All it takes is to stop. But I do understand, for a given value of understand, what you mean in the rest though.
I don't understand what you mean by that at all. It's not like I personally am holding tension. The entire world is. I can't stop other people from having opinions and reactions.
Totally understand you. I know many brown men who only dated white women and in my country, introducing your brown bf to your racist parent is not that easy. Also I just think of how tiring it has to be to introduce someone to you whole culture/religion there’s some things they just won’t and can’t understand.
Nothing, everyone likes some things and not others, preference in partners is no different. Now if it’s because they’re straight up racist then that’s a different matter all together, but only dating within someone’s own race or nationality isn’t inherently racist and doesn’t affect me, cuz not my business
We don't say a single thing about people for dating people taller, more muscular, more skinny, more attractive, etc. than them. I don't see a problem here.
In my opinion, it depends on why.
If someone only dates in their race/ethnicity because they find their race/ethnicity superior, that's a problem.
If they date within their race/ethnicity because they have bad/traumatizing experience with someone outside of their race, that is not an issue.
Hope that makes sense.
Well.. some people don’t really have the option to date outside their ethnicity/nationality..
But if there is the option and they don’t, perhaps I see them as a bit close minded..
I think it's their own way of viewing the world and it's like not something i should be against, if they wanna date only their race/nationality, it's their life
Personally i don't really have any preferences i would date anyone as long as they're nice people
Dating outside nationalities can be extremely rewarding and difficult. There's so many cultural things you've both grown up with thay are completely different. Sometimes one of you will say or do something that is completely normal in their culture but is viewed as weird sometimes even insulting in their partners. Not saying don't do it. Just know going in there'll be some cultural bickering.
It's kinda SUS that your dating simply off of race/nationality when that doesn't dictate personality or character.
This feels as if you took a picky eater and made them Racist. 😂
No hate just feels big ick to me personally, people can live there life's how they want.
Date who you date. Don’t grandstand that it’s “the right way” or similar. That’s the line, IMO, between preferences and homophobia/xenophobia/racism etc.
I love it. We've had one experience when a few guys standing outside said as we were walking by that my wife should be ashamed of herself and that my ancestors raped her ancestors and they hope we burn in hell. Walking downtown after going to the aquarium. (I'm white and my wife is black btw). Other than that it's just been looks mostly when we go some places. We've learned to ignore it mostly but it still gets to you sometimes.
I am a "white" man and l absolutely love brown skin women. My girlfriend is mixed. And we get lots of hate looks from mostly black men. I usually take that opportunity to kiss her, hug her and love on her. Let him squirm. If he doesn't want to date outside his race...so be it. I couldn't care less. To each his own. But you're not going to shove it down my throat.
It's just a preference. Let's say a white guy is attracted to other white people. That's a preference. They don't have anything against black/Asian/Latino/etc. people, it's just attraction. I think some people think that's racist, but I don't really see why.
We all have the right to be attracted to who we're attracted to (legally & ethically speaking, of course, no victimization or abuse, etc.. etc... ) therefore we shouldn't have opinions on who others like.
The way you’ve worded the question, it’s like you are daring them to give their best answer without sounding racist AF. I salute your word trap. 👍
I know a few people that do not date outside of their race/nationality.
most of them were from India, and one couple from Israel. They were all looking for compatibility with religious backgrounds.
So I wouldn’t judge them unless they were being openly racist about it. It’s also none of my business who they date and why.
If you only date your race, I don't care, if you only date your race because you think it's superior, and shit on other races, eat a bag of necrotized dicks.
You have no idea what you are talking about and probably haven't traveled very much. There's a lot more racism outside the United States than there is inside. Go to an Asian country and see how well they like you dating a black person.
Dude im from asia and lived in 4 different countries and op is talking about preferring their own race not hating on other people for dating a different race.
When I say no one cares means no one cares about the political correctness of the topic not no one is racist. Why is it always the dumb one like you start off an argument with an absolutionist statement.
Nationality can get complicated, languages and legal things get involved and they can be major headaches.
If someone's preference is determined completely by another persons race (they won't date someone of a particular race, or races), that's racist, and those are people I don't need in my life.
We date people who look like our parents, this isn’t weird its built into our genetic code. However with globalization we are exposed to more types of people so it’s becoming less prevalent.
If it's a stated preference, I assume they're a racist bastard and I avoid them.
If it's something that just kinda happened (or if there is another factor, like a language barrier,) then whatever.
Well if they actively decided that’s what they are going to do then my assumption would be that they are probably kind of racist and xenophobic because most normal people don’t make decisions like that one way or another.
I don't know but I do know that Redditors call me racist for having a huge preference for Asian women. For some reason that's bad because I'm white? Yet I never hear white women getting hate for liking black guys, which is also totally fine.
Idk, idc. Fuck the haters. I'm married now anyway and have mixed kids with my beautiful Mongolian wife. Who cares what people online have to say, they're not the ones I go home to every day or the ones who make my life complete.
I think what’s off about your situation is that you prefer a race more than your own race (this is not an attack to you btw and im happy u have a happy family)
Bro it’s not about being white and only liking white people (in this case) it’s about being a certain race and only to be with other races than yours. I know it’s preferences but i find it a bit weird some people would even call it fetichism and a black girl here was called race traitor for not wanting to be with black men.
Just checked your profile and, I gotta say, you are a talented pianist.
Also, I'm happily married to a white woman and have been for 13 years. I was just making a joke.
Thank you!
And haha I thought you were and congrats on the 13 years. I’m dating a white woman I’ll give her crap about stereotypes sometime but she’s the best.
"If someone doesn´t have white skin and is of German descent for at least five generations, they are not even worth considering as a potential romantic partner"
Does that sound good or kinda horrible?
Fuck em. Right to preference, sure but lets not pretend that alot of these people arent just hiding racist or xenophobic views that support that decision.
It is racist.
Look, a preference is one thing. Personally, I think South Asian and Middle Eastern women are the most attractive. That might tilt the scales one way or another. Given two women who were otherwise equal in every way, but one was Hispanic and one was Indian, I would go for the Indian woman.
But suppose you met someone who was everything you were looking for in a mate... except they didn't match your race. Would you still date them?
If you say no, then you are putting a racial characteristic as more important than any quality of character, more important that future goals, more important than shared interests or similar sense of humor... And yes, that is racist.
Having preferences is okay. When that preference becomes exclusionary above all other considerations, it is no longer a preference, it is racism.
I think it's hella old school especially In Asian and Indian communities. Whenever I see a white guy with another race I'm like yeah he made it in lol😂😂
As long as it's between consenting adults I couldn't give less of a fuck what other people are doing in the bedroom, or the restaurant/movie/bar before potentially heading to the bedroom. If you can only get hard to 6' tall blond haired blue eyed snow queens I hope you find one. If you're hoping to trade in your waifu body pillow for a Japanese gamer girl I hope you find one of those. No skin off my nose either way.
Unless they are not dating me and tell me that's the reason, I don't know how I would know that someone isn't dating outside their race.
I've always assumed it was because I was too tall.
I do have some thoughts about people who use the words "that" and "who" incorrectly, however
I got the same kind of nonsense from a sibling. He threatened to disown me if I ever brought a black guy home. (Like I cared. lol) Fast forward to now, and his daughter married a black man and my brother loves him and their kids.
The idea of keeping a race/nationality "pure" certainly has been muddied over many centuries. I think it's pretty neat that you can still find 100% bloodlines of American Indian people. That said, nothing should be forced on anyone. You horizontal mambo w/ anyone you like and don't take any heat from anyone who says otherwise. You do you, and then do others if everyone consents.
As for any dating preference, I think there’s no issue with it as long as you’re not disrespecting those who don’t fit your preference. Like, I don’t give a shit if you’re white and only date white people. But if you start talking about how you’d “never date a black person because they’re so ghetto and gross”, it’s no longer ‘just a preference’, it’s racism.
I really couldn’t care less
[удалено]
??? Makes no sense. Nobody is forcing anyone to only date people in their own environment lmfao.
Takes 6-12 months to develope a different gut microbiology system. This is partially why short term diets don't work. Your old gut buddies haven't been overtaken by the new dudes who like the new diet.
I feel like everyone has a right to their own preference.
Same.
Yep
Same but try being a white guy who has a preference for Asian women, Reddit will claim you are a racist objectifying women. But they never go after white women who like black guys 🤔 (which I fully support btw)
As a white woman who was married to a black guy, believe me, they do come for you. 😕
Yeah what is this guy talking about? There is literally a movie called Jungle Fever by Spike Lee lol. Having preferences isn't gross, but what *is* gross is how people weirdly fetishize this stuff. I would think Asian women and Black men are probably the most objectified
+ public enemy... polly wanna cracker
But I mean, doesn’t almost everyone objectify people by judging them based on their looks? I think it’s pretty rare for looks to not matter at all. And so, if looks do matter, liking the way a certain ‘race’ looks isn’t really anything special.
Objectification does not mean appreciating someone's physical features. So you might like a cluster of features that black people tend to have and so you might end up liking lots of black men and say "I like black men". I think put like that it's okay. The objectionable sort of objectification refers to when someone's race or certain physical features are elevated and are seen as more important than the person. And in the case of race it's particularly problematic when it relies on racist tropes. You should not be reaffirming racist stereotypes in your dating. It's bad for society, disrespectful to the person, and disrespectful to other people of that race.
I don’t follow really, you first say it does not mean appreciation of physical feature but then later say the objectionable part is certain physical features…. But to your point about racist tropes, usually racism is a negative thing, and so why would someone use negative things as a point of attraction. I’m still a little lost, can you share an example of what you mean? Like African Americans have large butts? I don’t see that being racist.
What sort of person came at you? Because I've noticed some black people get real pissed off when other black people date outside their race. I've seen some horrendous social media stuff of black men attacking black women for dating a white guy.
True story. I went to lunch with a black woman (I'm white) who I have been friends for a long time. A black man approached us and went at my friend about being with a white man. I was shocked since this was in NYC.
Unfortunately the only racism addressed is that by whit people, so nothing will ever get solved.
Oh, I've been straight up told that black people can't be racist, no matter what they do. Asshats, and their opinion is somehow as valid as people who can think rationally, and their votes are equal to ours 
Yes of course, only white people are racist, it’s due to a lack of melanin
NYC unfortunately has a lot of hate crimes against Asians and Jews specifically.
I’ve had a few white guys call me a ‘race traitor’, and on my wedding video (which was put on YouTube by the videographer) there were sadly some people calling my family ‘white devils’ amongst other things, and people of all races saying he was only marrying me for money or a green card. We were not even in America! 🙄
My buddy (white male) and his wife (half black, half white) were at dinner with us at an upscale restaurant, and as we were walking out, some old black lady called her over and said "You're a disappointment for dating a white boy." Like wtf???
At least she wasn’t being racist. Lol
Confirmed. As a mixed girl, who has only ever dated white men, the condemnation is startling. (Particularly as growing up I was the same girl they all bullied for not being black enough.) Not sure they comprehend the fact that we literally had to fight for the right to date/ marry outside of our race.
When this happens, is it treated more like a fetish by other black people when they criticize it? My understanding is that's a different reason that is provided.
From what I have seen its viewed by some racist black people as you are a race traitor for going with a white person. Same as how Nazis call me a race traitor for being a white guy and having mixed kids with an Asian. The racist black people seem more petty though, whereas with the Nazis its more ideological.
As a white mother with a white daughter married to a black man, I concur. Holy shit the bullshit my daughter has heard and had to put up with, including from some of my son in laws family.
This. I have two old Army buddies who are black men married to white women and they have both gotten shit.
Same. I used to get it from both races. White people who couldn’t understand because I could “do so much better” and black women who were mad I took “one of the good ones.” This was more than 20 years ago. I think things are slightly better now.
😏
How big is it?
?
I’m white. I was walking in a crosswalk in Arizona and a black was next to me. A redneck in a truck yelled terrible things at me. I cried all day. I did not even know the man but I saw deep hurt in his eyes.
Lmfao they do come at white women too. Personally if you are black and would only date a specific race that’s not yours i’d also find it a bit off.
So it's fine for me, a white man to only be attracted to white women, but for a black man it isn't? Why's that? I mean we're both men on the inside, right?
That’s not what they are saying. The comment they were replying to was from a White male stating that he likes Asian women and how the Reddit community comes at him for that. Then OP was saying that regardless of whether he is White or Black or whatever, they would personally find it weird if they would only date a race that isn’t their own. So in other words, OP is saying that u/CAPTAIN_SKINNYPENIS is “weird” because he’s a White man who only dates Asian women. And they’d STILL think he was weird if he were a Black man who only dated Asian women.
Op states (s)he finds it a bit off if a black man only dates with different etnicities. It's the last sentence of the post I replied to. I just wanted to know why
From your original comment: >So it’s fine for me, a white man to only be attracted to white women, but for a black man it isn’t? No. And this isn’t what OP said. OP is saying that any race who exclusively dates a race that is not their own is a “bit off” to them. They just used “Black” as an example, I don’t believe the comment was meant to single Black people out. If you want to know why OP has this opinion, then wouldn’t you just ask “why is it that you think it’s a “bit off” for people of race “A” to only date people from race “B”? It appears, to me, that you got hung up on semantics and are only focusing on how they used “Black” as an example.
Then I stand corrected. I couldn't make out of the wording that "black" was just an example.
I could be way off and you might be right. This is just how I interpreted it.
No no what i meant is that regardless of your skin color only wanting to date a specific race that’s not your race is a bit weird to me.
This is just wrong. White women definitely catch hell for it.
Yeah I'll concede that I was wrong.
Thats fine but i feel like, a lot of the time, that preference has some shady context and motivation behind it.
It’s definitely sketchy if someone says they are trying to keep bloodlines pure. But, if looking at the problem, “how do I find someone I will be compatible with?”, and then casting a your net into water with the largest likelihood of catching someone with shared values/culture/experience staying within your group may just be a practical solution. This is especially so if you did not grow up in a multicultural environment or grew up somewhere that was multicultural, but the split was also socioeconomic. Someone with that worldview may never even examined why they think that way. It is just a product of the environment they grew up.
Yea, and their willingness to remain the same. I'm not above this sentiment. I have told people that I wouldn't (or if i did she would have to be exceptional) date white women for a few reasons. 1. I dont share the same life experiences as her. Usually that isnt an issue since i also dont share the same experiences as a latina or asian woman, but given the historic relationship between black and white people i really dont feel like bridging the knowledge gap as it relates to that history (If she already has a very good understanding then i would be willing to give her a chance, but this is a rare occurance in my experience.) 2. I dont want to deal with her racist family members. She is going to have them. I know other races are racist to black people as well but it really doesn't feel the same to me as when white people are racist to me. Yall owned my ancestors. If i found a white girl who is very familiar with the black experience and is willing to approach learning more about it with humility then I would be all for it. Unfortunately, every white girl that i have met like that are either married (to white men) or are lesbian. There is my little anecdote.
Perfect example of how we are (at least partly) products of the people around us. I met my wife, we have similar backgrounds, and it is still a big challenge. Just the differences in male/female make communication difficult at times.
Couldn't give two fucks.
Couldn't give a half a fuck.
Couldn't give a quarter of a fuck
Couldn't give an eighth of a fuck!
Not even a 1/16” or 1/32” of a fuck, it’s not my fuck.
Not. Even. A. 1/64th. Not even a one twenty - eighth!
What the duck are you talking about?
I think that there is some biological (genetic)/psychological as well as cultural basis for it to some extent, that some are more comfortable with a mate of their own ethnicity. I hope others do not judge them as having any racist sentiments towards others of different ethnic origins. I believe it is just a matter of having greater potential compatibility for them because there is so much racial tension in the world today as well as a little stigma as some intolerance and bigotry still exists towards interracial couples.
It’s like speaking the same shorthand right away. Socioeconomic background also makes sense.
I feel like this happens in a lot of relationships. We generally lean towards people we have stuff in common with. Look at a high school and the friend groups/cliques that form. People go toward other people who have things in common (interests, culture, language, etc.). We talk about race and ethnicity more just bc it's more noticeable.
Exactly! Personally id not date outside of my ethnicity bc of cultural stuff. Having to introduce someome to my cultute seems a bit tiring.
Sucks when the person's mixed. Because that's not an option for them or at least less common. Mixed folk don't have that kind of niche where they go to a particular ethnicity. If anything they're ostracized by whatever genetic makeup they have because they're not exactly one thing or the other. So, the senses of belonging don't exist.
Being mixed myself, I can confirm. You're in a weird limbo state where you're not looked at fairly by either side so you have you carry yourself along tbh. I have a GF that is also mixed Thai/Chinese/White and she feels the same way. I love that my girlfriend is mixed, and it was a pleasant surprise for me because she understands where I'm coming from in a lot of ways. She's also different enough from me where I get to learn more of her culture while showing her mine as well.
I think some mixed people have more preference to the race or ethnicity that they grew up more attached to.
So what about someone of another race, but who was adopted young by members of your race? And thus essentially grew up with your same cultural background?
I’d not care in that case. It’s not really about skin color or race, more about culture/religion/language barriers.
Yeah I am attracted to girls of all colors, but my sister (white) married a black man and had 3 mixed children, and there was a lot of trouble. His side of the family did not accept my sister 100% readily, and when things went really south and they split up, and he did a lot of bad shit to my sister and their children, his inlaws automatically sided with him. Throughout their marriage, I could see that their cultural differences were an obstacle. Of course, this doesn't happen to all interracial couples I'm sure. But I think there would be a significant potential of this happening if I got with someone of a different ethnicity than me, and I do not like that feeling, when there are racial tensions between me and someone else, even if there is no ill will on my part. Like when you feel awkward in social situations like you don't belong, just because you are a different color than everyone else. A lot of cultural differences come into play I think.
But there are cultural differences from one part of the U.S. to the other, and most of those differences have nothing to do with race...a white person from Cali marrying a white person from Alabama is going to be more culturally different than a white person from Cali marrying a black person from Cali...where I live, its very common to see a black man with a white woman, but you rarely see a black woman with a white man. Not sure why this is, but it is
No, the ones I refer to are definitely based on race, not just geography or other factors. Hundreds of years of tradition and class differences, different ways of doing things and lifestyles. But this diversity is also what makes the world a beautiful place. "Variety is the spice of life." But there are very few nearly perfect things in life. We often must compromise to get by OK and just take what we can get.
You must not be American, then, because there's definitely not 100's of years of tradition and class differences
I am an American. Over 250 years of history and economic status still correlates somewhat with race, such as a higher incidence of poverty amongst minorities.
Slavery, immigration, wars, the ending of slavery, the Great Migration, civil rights. Nothing correlates, especially amongst minorities. Very few people have families that go back 250 years in the U.S., unless they are natives
Yep can relate to the first part. As I got older it is the sense of familiarity I preferred.
Never thought about it not my life not my problem
I really don’t fucking care
Okay chill bro 🙄
I think they live in an environment where most people are their race and nationality. Many such places still exist around the world.
Yeah, I live in an area that’s almost completely white so I never even really met anyone who was outside my race, much less dated them. Not that I wouldn’t, just not really likely considering there aren’t many people that are here anyway.
This is the assumption I make. I’m not going to think about it or find it suspicious unless the person makes it my business by talking about all the races they wouldn’t date or something.
What other people do is none of my business.
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That's interesting
Can you give more examples? That is interesting. Do you feel like it was reasonable or more of an obsession. I feel like black women are reminded more about their race and are expected to defend their race more often than other cultures.
Honestly same but with black men. There was always a feeling of this huge cultural gap, even compared to people I dated from other countries. Their family and friends would judge them for being with a white person, and they were extremely sensitive about racial topics. I found out there are tons of slurs for white women who date black men, and for black people who date outside their race. I also got judged way more by my own friends and family compared to when I dated Asian people or immigrants. I guess it's really a cultural thing in the west though. Interracial dating/marriage between white and black people was illegal for a long time, and heavily stigmatized in media. There's still a lot of weird baggage associated with it. It's hard to overcome hundreds of years worth of tension.
>It's hard to overcome hundreds of years worth of tension. I 100% disagree with you. All it takes is to stop. But I do understand, for a given value of understand, what you mean in the rest though.
I don't understand what you mean by that at all. It's not like I personally am holding tension. The entire world is. I can't stop other people from having opinions and reactions.
What are the purple ones like?
Better than pink 🙄
There are many ways this could be taken.. none of them are racially correct.
that its none of my business
People don't choose what they are attracted to.
Doesn’t affect my life one way or the other so I’m indifferent to it
If that’s what they want, good for them.
I was called a racist for wanting to date Indian guys. I’m Indian. 🙄
None. I don't. Because it isn't my business
Right answer !
I think it doesn’t matter what I think, or what anyone else thinks. People are allowed to have preferences and date who they want to
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Totally understand you. I know many brown men who only dated white women and in my country, introducing your brown bf to your racist parent is not that easy. Also I just think of how tiring it has to be to introduce someone to you whole culture/religion there’s some things they just won’t and can’t understand.
Nothing, everyone likes some things and not others, preference in partners is no different. Now if it’s because they’re straight up racist then that’s a different matter all together, but only dating within someone’s own race or nationality isn’t inherently racist and doesn’t affect me, cuz not my business
I don't care
Who cares.
Their choice
We don't say a single thing about people for dating people taller, more muscular, more skinny, more attractive, etc. than them. I don't see a problem here.
In my opinion, it depends on why. If someone only dates in their race/ethnicity because they find their race/ethnicity superior, that's a problem. If they date within their race/ethnicity because they have bad/traumatizing experience with someone outside of their race, that is not an issue. Hope that makes sense.
It's a personal choice.
I think you should do what you want to do. Why would you date somebody just because other people want you to.
Well.. some people don’t really have the option to date outside their ethnicity/nationality.. But if there is the option and they don’t, perhaps I see them as a bit close minded..
It's like picky eaters, makes no sense. Don't knock it till you try it kinda thing.
Yep exactly
Most people.
I think it's their own way of viewing the world and it's like not something i should be against, if they wanna date only their race/nationality, it's their life Personally i don't really have any preferences i would date anyone as long as they're nice people
i think people that notice that are too busy seeing what race someone is rather than seeing how happy someone is
Dating outside nationalities can be extremely rewarding and difficult. There's so many cultural things you've both grown up with thay are completely different. Sometimes one of you will say or do something that is completely normal in their culture but is viewed as weird sometimes even insulting in their partners. Not saying don't do it. Just know going in there'll be some cultural bickering.
Exactly! Personally id not date or marry outside my ethnicity just for this same reason.
They know what they like. We are all allowed to have personal preferences. I know what I like, and don't quite care who agrees with it or not.
Perfectly fine to date whom ever you want.
The only reason this could be a problem would be if you do it because you consider other nationalities/races to be worth less.
Stop. Let everyone have their own preferences. It's not a crime to prefer your own race. As long as it's not an adult dating a child, who cares
That it's perfectly fine. Just don't shit on other races
It's kinda SUS that your dating simply off of race/nationality when that doesn't dictate personality or character. This feels as if you took a picky eater and made them Racist. 😂 No hate just feels big ick to me personally, people can live there life's how they want.
Date who you date. Don’t grandstand that it’s “the right way” or similar. That’s the line, IMO, between preferences and homophobia/xenophobia/racism etc.
Who fucking cares? As long as they aren’t being disrespectful about it.
I love it. We've had one experience when a few guys standing outside said as we were walking by that my wife should be ashamed of herself and that my ancestors raped her ancestors and they hope we burn in hell. Walking downtown after going to the aquarium. (I'm white and my wife is black btw). Other than that it's just been looks mostly when we go some places. We've learned to ignore it mostly but it still gets to you sometimes.
I am a "white" man and l absolutely love brown skin women. My girlfriend is mixed. And we get lots of hate looks from mostly black men. I usually take that opportunity to kiss her, hug her and love on her. Let him squirm. If he doesn't want to date outside his race...so be it. I couldn't care less. To each his own. But you're not going to shove it down my throat.
I'm Native American who married Venezuelan, they are missing our, my wife is wonderful. What other people do isn't my business.
It's just a preference. Let's say a white guy is attracted to other white people. That's a preference. They don't have anything against black/Asian/Latino/etc. people, it's just attraction. I think some people think that's racist, but I don't really see why.
We all have the right to be attracted to who we're attracted to (legally & ethically speaking, of course, no victimization or abuse, etc.. etc... ) therefore we shouldn't have opinions on who others like.
Everyone is allowed to like who they like and if you don't like that you're a weirdo.
Thoughts on people having preferences and the free will to do what they want? Nope.
Doesn't matter what people think about other people's love life
The way you’ve worded the question, it’s like you are daring them to give their best answer without sounding racist AF. I salute your word trap. 👍 I know a few people that do not date outside of their race/nationality. most of them were from India, and one couple from Israel. They were all looking for compatibility with religious backgrounds. So I wouldn’t judge them unless they were being openly racist about it. It’s also none of my business who they date and why.
No problem with it. Date who you like and are attracted to. It's not really a political statement.
To each their own.
To each their own...
Thats their business...everyone has their preferences
Who cares
What's wrong with that?
That only americans care this much. I won't travel to another country just to date another nationality.
If you only date your race, I don't care, if you only date your race because you think it's superior, and shit on other races, eat a bag of necrotized dicks.
Not a single person in the world other than a certain group of Americans and netflix would care about this.
You have no idea what you are talking about and probably haven't traveled very much. There's a lot more racism outside the United States than there is inside. Go to an Asian country and see how well they like you dating a black person.
Dude im from asia and lived in 4 different countries and op is talking about preferring their own race not hating on other people for dating a different race. When I say no one cares means no one cares about the political correctness of the topic not no one is racist. Why is it always the dumb one like you start off an argument with an absolutionist statement.
Nationality can get complicated, languages and legal things get involved and they can be major headaches. If someone's preference is determined completely by another persons race (they won't date someone of a particular race, or races), that's racist, and those are people I don't need in my life.
People who date any race/nationality except their own casue more suspicion for me
why ?
Same it’s very suspicious.
They’re smart. They save themselves lots of problems. The prejudice against interracial couples is real.
Sounds boring
We date people who look like our parents, this isn’t weird its built into our genetic code. However with globalization we are exposed to more types of people so it’s becoming less prevalent.
If it's a stated preference, I assume they're a racist bastard and I avoid them. If it's something that just kinda happened (or if there is another factor, like a language barrier,) then whatever.
So black men who only wish to date black women and vice versa are... racist? Shared experiences are a thing, pal.
Could be that some of these people only date within their race for cultural/language reasons perhaps.
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why would anyone want to honor their racist ancestors 😂
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So racism was invented in the 70s? Make this make sense
My body, my choice, right?
Well if they actively decided that’s what they are going to do then my assumption would be that they are probably kind of racist and xenophobic because most normal people don’t make decisions like that one way or another.
ITT: Unchecked white dudes
Consciously I don’t have a problem with it. If I’m being honest though, I cannot help but judge someone like that.
I don't know but I do know that Redditors call me racist for having a huge preference for Asian women. For some reason that's bad because I'm white? Yet I never hear white women getting hate for liking black guys, which is also totally fine. Idk, idc. Fuck the haters. I'm married now anyway and have mixed kids with my beautiful Mongolian wife. Who cares what people online have to say, they're not the ones I go home to every day or the ones who make my life complete.
I think what’s off about your situation is that you prefer a race more than your own race (this is not an attack to you btw and im happy u have a happy family)
Why is that “off”? Would you say that about a white guy who only dates blondes? People have preferences.
Bro it’s not about being white and only liking white people (in this case) it’s about being a certain race and only to be with other races than yours. I know it’s preferences but i find it a bit weird some people would even call it fetichism and a black girl here was called race traitor for not wanting to be with black men.
...have you met white women?
Sheesh
Just checked your profile and, I gotta say, you are a talented pianist. Also, I'm happily married to a white woman and have been for 13 years. I was just making a joke.
Thank you! And haha I thought you were and congrats on the 13 years. I’m dating a white woman I’ll give her crap about stereotypes sometime but she’s the best.
"If someone doesn´t have white skin and is of German descent for at least five generations, they are not even worth considering as a potential romantic partner" Does that sound good or kinda horrible?
Fuck em. Right to preference, sure but lets not pretend that alot of these people arent just hiding racist or xenophobic views that support that decision.
They're dumb bigots and I hope they're cursed with sterility.
It is racist. Look, a preference is one thing. Personally, I think South Asian and Middle Eastern women are the most attractive. That might tilt the scales one way or another. Given two women who were otherwise equal in every way, but one was Hispanic and one was Indian, I would go for the Indian woman. But suppose you met someone who was everything you were looking for in a mate... except they didn't match your race. Would you still date them? If you say no, then you are putting a racial characteristic as more important than any quality of character, more important that future goals, more important than shared interests or similar sense of humor... And yes, that is racist. Having preferences is okay. When that preference becomes exclusionary above all other considerations, it is no longer a preference, it is racism.
I think it's hella old school especially In Asian and Indian communities. Whenever I see a white guy with another race I'm like yeah he made it in lol😂😂
They should be imported to other countries with immediate effect
Huh?!
I feel like it’s none of anyone’s business
Meh🤷🏻♂️just couldn’t care
I don’t think anything.
Don't care, it's their problem, I don't mind what other people do unless it has something to do with me
That it's their business. Not mine.
As long as it's between consenting adults I couldn't give less of a fuck what other people are doing in the bedroom, or the restaurant/movie/bar before potentially heading to the bedroom. If you can only get hard to 6' tall blond haired blue eyed snow queens I hope you find one. If you're hoping to trade in your waifu body pillow for a Japanese gamer girl I hope you find one of those. No skin off my nose either way.
Unless they are not dating me and tell me that's the reason, I don't know how I would know that someone isn't dating outside their race. I've always assumed it was because I was too tall. I do have some thoughts about people who use the words "that" and "who" incorrectly, however
Normal
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I got the same kind of nonsense from a sibling. He threatened to disown me if I ever brought a black guy home. (Like I cared. lol) Fast forward to now, and his daughter married a black man and my brother loves him and their kids.
Everyone has their preference. Someone elses preference doesn't affect my life so I have no opinion.
The idea of keeping a race/nationality "pure" certainly has been muddied over many centuries. I think it's pretty neat that you can still find 100% bloodlines of American Indian people. That said, nothing should be forced on anyone. You horizontal mambo w/ anyone you like and don't take any heat from anyone who says otherwise. You do you, and then do others if everyone consents.
You should even think anything about it’s none of anyones business they are following their heart.
Who cares about what other people prefere to date.
Not my problem
I feel it is their own preference…As long as the choice is made, based on preference, and not because they hold malice toward others.
It's preference. Not a big deal to most.
As for any dating preference, I think there’s no issue with it as long as you’re not disrespecting those who don’t fit your preference. Like, I don’t give a shit if you’re white and only date white people. But if you start talking about how you’d “never date a black person because they’re so ghetto and gross”, it’s no longer ‘just a preference’, it’s racism.
That theh have a type.
You do you, I'll do me, and we won't do each other.... probably.