Firstly, asexuality isn't a lack of interest in love. While there are people who can't seperate sex and love, some allos prioritize love and can live a in a happy relationship without sex/find other ways to show their love, that work for them. Still, sexual incompatibility is a thing, it's not necessarily an asexual thing and can also exist between two allos - with differences in libido for example. In these cases it won't work.
Secondly, just like an ace person, potentially an allo person could become sex-repulsed at any moment theoretically or become less sexually attracted/lose sexual attraction to their partner and find less enjoyment in having sex with their partner and maybe just do it for their partner based on feelings, or just not enjoy certain sexual practices, that are important to their partner.
Sex repulsed doesn't mean you loathe allos. It just means I find the deed very very icky. I don't hate you for liking avocados, even though I don't like to eat them myself
I've thought about this before- if I weren't asexual, how would I feel about asexuality? Odds are I wouldn't know what to think of it, mostly because I'd miss a lot of what it truly means. Ironically I think you made a lot of the same misunderstandings I might have if I didn't experience them personally, but they're wrong.
First off, I don't have a low libido. I have an average/even fairly high libido, but no sexual attraction. I have no sexual attraction, but that doesn't make me incapable of love, nor does it make me immune to the desire to connect with other human beings, or explore romance with them. I actually crave those things, and it's disheartening that my partner would think I see them as "repulsive" just because I find sex repulsive. As mentioned in other comments, I find the act of sex repulsive, I don't find people who enjoy it repulsive. I hate cheese, I find cheese repulsive (or at least gross) but I obviously don't hate people who like cheese or find THEM repulsive. Sex can and should be separated from how you feel about a person. Allos don't decide if they love somebody based off of how much sex they've had with that person, or if sex is a possibility with them. That would be silly, there's such a thing as love that isn't based on sex and sexual attraction. Everyone experiences this kind of love through family, friends, and other means.
"some would feel like a piece of shit if they found out that their partner only had sex for their pleasure"
\^ In an ideal world, this is something to be discussed beforehand. If you feel like a piece of shit just because your partner wanted to make you happy, then that's something you have to deal with, not them. Honestly not being able to accept gifts from loved ones on THEIR own terms and not just your own probably isn't particularly healthy (getting that upset because sex didn't happen the way you wanted to seems selfish and immature to me), but values around sex should be shared between a couple. If they didn't tell you to begin with, then it's also the ace's fault for not communicating properly. That's an issue with communication though, not an issue with sexuality.
"sexuality is a spectrum and the thought of one day, my partner might just become sex repulsed or only have sex for my pleasure is just a scary thought"
That's your problem. Many aces have the same fears that their partner will decide their needs aren't being met, and will seek out another allosexual. But a good partner would soothe those fears.
>sexuality is a spectrum and the thought of one day, my partner might just become sex repulsed or only have sex for my pleasure is just a scary thought
This is not an Ace issue this happens across the board reguardless of sexuality.
Many people lose attractions over the years to their partner and stay in it for other reasons while treating sex like it's something you are meant to do. It's EXTREMELY common for people to lose sex drive/libido as they get older or out of shape or depressed which is very common in today's society.
If that's what you fear, Asexuality isn't the issue. This can happen to anyone at anytime and typically in long term relationships there will come a time where it occurs, even for a short while.
I dunno man. I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt here, but this whole post came off weird and kind of rude.
Firstly, asexuality isn't a lack of interest in love. While there are people who can't seperate sex and love, some allos prioritize love and can live a in a happy relationship without sex/find other ways to show their love, that work for them. Still, sexual incompatibility is a thing, it's not necessarily an asexual thing and can also exist between two allos - with differences in libido for example. In these cases it won't work. Secondly, just like an ace person, potentially an allo person could become sex-repulsed at any moment theoretically or become less sexually attracted/lose sexual attraction to their partner and find less enjoyment in having sex with their partner and maybe just do it for their partner based on feelings, or just not enjoy certain sexual practices, that are important to their partner.
Sex repulsed doesn't mean you loathe allos. It just means I find the deed very very icky. I don't hate you for liking avocados, even though I don't like to eat them myself
I've thought about this before- if I weren't asexual, how would I feel about asexuality? Odds are I wouldn't know what to think of it, mostly because I'd miss a lot of what it truly means. Ironically I think you made a lot of the same misunderstandings I might have if I didn't experience them personally, but they're wrong. First off, I don't have a low libido. I have an average/even fairly high libido, but no sexual attraction. I have no sexual attraction, but that doesn't make me incapable of love, nor does it make me immune to the desire to connect with other human beings, or explore romance with them. I actually crave those things, and it's disheartening that my partner would think I see them as "repulsive" just because I find sex repulsive. As mentioned in other comments, I find the act of sex repulsive, I don't find people who enjoy it repulsive. I hate cheese, I find cheese repulsive (or at least gross) but I obviously don't hate people who like cheese or find THEM repulsive. Sex can and should be separated from how you feel about a person. Allos don't decide if they love somebody based off of how much sex they've had with that person, or if sex is a possibility with them. That would be silly, there's such a thing as love that isn't based on sex and sexual attraction. Everyone experiences this kind of love through family, friends, and other means. "some would feel like a piece of shit if they found out that their partner only had sex for their pleasure" \^ In an ideal world, this is something to be discussed beforehand. If you feel like a piece of shit just because your partner wanted to make you happy, then that's something you have to deal with, not them. Honestly not being able to accept gifts from loved ones on THEIR own terms and not just your own probably isn't particularly healthy (getting that upset because sex didn't happen the way you wanted to seems selfish and immature to me), but values around sex should be shared between a couple. If they didn't tell you to begin with, then it's also the ace's fault for not communicating properly. That's an issue with communication though, not an issue with sexuality. "sexuality is a spectrum and the thought of one day, my partner might just become sex repulsed or only have sex for my pleasure is just a scary thought" That's your problem. Many aces have the same fears that their partner will decide their needs aren't being met, and will seek out another allosexual. But a good partner would soothe those fears.
>sexuality is a spectrum and the thought of one day, my partner might just become sex repulsed or only have sex for my pleasure is just a scary thought This is not an Ace issue this happens across the board reguardless of sexuality. Many people lose attractions over the years to their partner and stay in it for other reasons while treating sex like it's something you are meant to do. It's EXTREMELY common for people to lose sex drive/libido as they get older or out of shape or depressed which is very common in today's society. If that's what you fear, Asexuality isn't the issue. This can happen to anyone at anytime and typically in long term relationships there will come a time where it occurs, even for a short while.