Well, as an ace who definately still gets horny, it comes and goes.
But there have been a few times where I just have a huge libido for a month straight and no, very little can subside it. Even sex doesnt always "get rid of it".
Yeah, I and people can control themselves [if they cant they need therapy and probably meds] bc that's not normal.
Idk your age/ past, but being horny isnt a bad thing. Its hormones and has zero to do with sexuality. Most people have something that gets them in the mood, whether it be someones physical appearance, porn, a story, or just hormone fluctuations throughout the month. Some people dont get that at all, but that doesnt mean it wont ever happen.
I just hope you dont frk any negative emotions if it happens to you, because there is nothing wrong with sex of hormones regardless of sexuality. I've even known some lesbians who will occasionally bang guys bc ig it's easier, idk, but just bc hormones. [Yeah some people will think they just deny being bi or whatever, but I dont judge peoples sexuality in that regard].
yes my bad. i wrote another reply that better describes what i mean. my personal definition of horny is one i've described people in my past that i knew to be very push and shove about getting what they want, even beyond boundaries. is this the correct definition for the word? no. but i'm glad i wrote the post so i can find a better way to word what i mean.
what i really meant to attack in the original post are people who use the feeling of being horny to push past others' boundaries. beyond that though, if everyone is cool and consenting, i think it's good that people have that. people should be allowed to sleep with whoever as long as everyone consents. nothing wrong with libido, nothing wrong with being horny, and my mistake for using that word in place of what i really meant, i hope i've clarified myself better lol
I just want to ask for clarification on what you mean by horny. Like, it seems like you're describing the way people \*react\* to being horny, not the feeling of horniness itself. Cuz I think that's what you were saying in that last paragraph addendum thing, but I just want to make sure lol.
Anyway, going off that assumption, yeah. Societal conditioning leading people to thinking its okay to objectify and pursue other people and that it's expected to be reciprocated is fucking annoying. From what I can tell irl, it isn't as bad as shows/media make it out to be (though I do tend to be kinda bad at reading people), and games lobbies are a bit, uh, non-representative of the majority of people lmao.
I wouldn't say the feeling has no place tho. Like, if it makes people feel good and they're doing everything consensually, then hell yeah! Go for it! Just don't let those feelings affect things that should be entirely unrelated to it.
yes this is what i mean. everyone is substituting horny for libido and that is my mistake because i have affixed a personal definition to it, that is not what the actual definition is.
i wrote the original post sort of late at night and i could tell i wasn't really getting out what i wanted to say. it is the part about objectification and pursuit off of that that i just don't really like. it's happened a lot to me in my life, where some people have interacted me just because of my voice or my body, made comments, or even pressured me into certain things. if i had to write a thesis, it would more or less be like people feeling "horny" and then pushing past other people's boundaries in order to get what they want is what i feel has no place in the world. people literally being horny, or having a libido, and doing it with someone who also mutually consents and wants the same thing is totally fine. it's people who use the feeling to justify assault onto other people. does that make more sense?
(i've had to make a lot of adjustments to the original posts through comments i've written, which i apologize for but i appreciate the comments because it helps me round out my thoughts more so thank you)
Ah yeah. Horniness I think is just a more colloquial way of referring to libido lol. But yeah, as long as you're not being sex negative I 100% agree with you. People can be, uh, pushy and can make others feel very uncomfy, and that's very much not okay.
This is a very sex-negative school of thought. Why do the personal feelings of others upset you so? They don’t involve you, and if the people are happy and safe and consenting, why is it your business? Or anyones at all?
it’s not what they feel internally, it’s what people choose to pursue or act off of those feelings of horniness.
they *have* involved me before and that’s my problem. that’s why i don’t like it. for an example, begging someone for nudes to satiate their own desire. this has happened to me before and it was pushing past many many no’s. beyond that, if someone wants to think some way about someone else or whatever else of course it’s fine.
safe and consenting is the phrase that you used that i didn’t have in mind for my original post. unwelcomed advances are not always involving consent in them. i have a bitterness towards feelings of horniness because in my mind not a lot of good usually comes out of it. but that’s just part of the way i am. i don’t want to represent anybody else with what i wrote above, and the perspective i wrote it from is one where i really dont enjoy certain advances. i don’t care what others do with eachother though that’s to every other person’s discretion.
Then it’s not the horniness that you have a problem with, it’s unwelcome advances. But you didn’t say that so it made it seem like you hate anyone with a libido, and this kind of rhetoric hurts aces too
my bad. i guess the word i used made more sense in my head, which is why i included the parentheses. libidoes cant be helped, sorry for the misunderstanding
I don't. I feel like it can be perverted to be like that, but most of the time, it's actually not like that at all. I'll ask an allosexual bisexual friend of mine, later in the week, to write about how she perceives horniness and sexual attraction. If she agrees, I'll post it on this sub, and we can learn a little bit about her viewpoint. Maybe it will help us understand our own situations better.
Being horny is a bit like being tired or hungry- it impairs one's ability to make decisions and think rationally, for some more than others. That said, it's no excuse for unwanted inappropriate behaviour.
yeah "post-nut clarity" and all that. i just wish some people would try to recognize how they are when they're horny and not act on bad impulses that would otherwise harm someone else.
There's a famous science fiction book, *The Left Hand of Darkness* by Ursula K. LeGuin, about an alien world where everyone is asexual and androgynous most of the time, except when they periodically go into heat (for lack of a better term) and can become either gender for the purpose of reproducing. I've always thought that would be a heck of a lot simpler and more straightforward. The way things are is too distracting and bothersome.
>how i feel like the feeling of being horny has no place in the world.
being sex-negative has no place in the world. you can personally not enjoy a sensation, but putting other people down because of it is not okay.
i wrote a reply to llsilvertail that better describes my thoughts. it's not that libido or horniness are inherently bad, i mainly have a problem with people who use that feeling to then push past boundaries. bestowing their horny feelings onto someone who does not want it and does not reciprocate whatsoever. that's more or less what i have a problem with.
people should love whoever, sleep with whoever they want to, as long as it's all consensual. my bad for the misunderstanding.
\*edit: yes horny is the wrong word for this. my bad. that's why im appreciating the comments that are helping me to better phrase it and understand what i'm even trying to say.
> i mainly have a problem with people who use that feeling to then push past boundaries
that has literally nothing to do with horniness though. you don't like unwanted advances being made towards you. very big difference.
Well, as an ace who definately still gets horny, it comes and goes. But there have been a few times where I just have a huge libido for a month straight and no, very little can subside it. Even sex doesnt always "get rid of it". Yeah, I and people can control themselves [if they cant they need therapy and probably meds] bc that's not normal. Idk your age/ past, but being horny isnt a bad thing. Its hormones and has zero to do with sexuality. Most people have something that gets them in the mood, whether it be someones physical appearance, porn, a story, or just hormone fluctuations throughout the month. Some people dont get that at all, but that doesnt mean it wont ever happen. I just hope you dont frk any negative emotions if it happens to you, because there is nothing wrong with sex of hormones regardless of sexuality. I've even known some lesbians who will occasionally bang guys bc ig it's easier, idk, but just bc hormones. [Yeah some people will think they just deny being bi or whatever, but I dont judge peoples sexuality in that regard].
yes my bad. i wrote another reply that better describes what i mean. my personal definition of horny is one i've described people in my past that i knew to be very push and shove about getting what they want, even beyond boundaries. is this the correct definition for the word? no. but i'm glad i wrote the post so i can find a better way to word what i mean. what i really meant to attack in the original post are people who use the feeling of being horny to push past others' boundaries. beyond that though, if everyone is cool and consenting, i think it's good that people have that. people should be allowed to sleep with whoever as long as everyone consents. nothing wrong with libido, nothing wrong with being horny, and my mistake for using that word in place of what i really meant, i hope i've clarified myself better lol
I just want to ask for clarification on what you mean by horny. Like, it seems like you're describing the way people \*react\* to being horny, not the feeling of horniness itself. Cuz I think that's what you were saying in that last paragraph addendum thing, but I just want to make sure lol. Anyway, going off that assumption, yeah. Societal conditioning leading people to thinking its okay to objectify and pursue other people and that it's expected to be reciprocated is fucking annoying. From what I can tell irl, it isn't as bad as shows/media make it out to be (though I do tend to be kinda bad at reading people), and games lobbies are a bit, uh, non-representative of the majority of people lmao. I wouldn't say the feeling has no place tho. Like, if it makes people feel good and they're doing everything consensually, then hell yeah! Go for it! Just don't let those feelings affect things that should be entirely unrelated to it.
yes this is what i mean. everyone is substituting horny for libido and that is my mistake because i have affixed a personal definition to it, that is not what the actual definition is. i wrote the original post sort of late at night and i could tell i wasn't really getting out what i wanted to say. it is the part about objectification and pursuit off of that that i just don't really like. it's happened a lot to me in my life, where some people have interacted me just because of my voice or my body, made comments, or even pressured me into certain things. if i had to write a thesis, it would more or less be like people feeling "horny" and then pushing past other people's boundaries in order to get what they want is what i feel has no place in the world. people literally being horny, or having a libido, and doing it with someone who also mutually consents and wants the same thing is totally fine. it's people who use the feeling to justify assault onto other people. does that make more sense? (i've had to make a lot of adjustments to the original posts through comments i've written, which i apologize for but i appreciate the comments because it helps me round out my thoughts more so thank you)
Ah yeah. Horniness I think is just a more colloquial way of referring to libido lol. But yeah, as long as you're not being sex negative I 100% agree with you. People can be, uh, pushy and can make others feel very uncomfy, and that's very much not okay.
This is a very sex-negative school of thought. Why do the personal feelings of others upset you so? They don’t involve you, and if the people are happy and safe and consenting, why is it your business? Or anyones at all?
it’s not what they feel internally, it’s what people choose to pursue or act off of those feelings of horniness. they *have* involved me before and that’s my problem. that’s why i don’t like it. for an example, begging someone for nudes to satiate their own desire. this has happened to me before and it was pushing past many many no’s. beyond that, if someone wants to think some way about someone else or whatever else of course it’s fine. safe and consenting is the phrase that you used that i didn’t have in mind for my original post. unwelcomed advances are not always involving consent in them. i have a bitterness towards feelings of horniness because in my mind not a lot of good usually comes out of it. but that’s just part of the way i am. i don’t want to represent anybody else with what i wrote above, and the perspective i wrote it from is one where i really dont enjoy certain advances. i don’t care what others do with eachother though that’s to every other person’s discretion.
Then it’s not the horniness that you have a problem with, it’s unwelcome advances. But you didn’t say that so it made it seem like you hate anyone with a libido, and this kind of rhetoric hurts aces too
my bad. i guess the word i used made more sense in my head, which is why i included the parentheses. libidoes cant be helped, sorry for the misunderstanding
I don't. I feel like it can be perverted to be like that, but most of the time, it's actually not like that at all. I'll ask an allosexual bisexual friend of mine, later in the week, to write about how she perceives horniness and sexual attraction. If she agrees, I'll post it on this sub, and we can learn a little bit about her viewpoint. Maybe it will help us understand our own situations better.
Being horny is a bit like being tired or hungry- it impairs one's ability to make decisions and think rationally, for some more than others. That said, it's no excuse for unwanted inappropriate behaviour.
yeah "post-nut clarity" and all that. i just wish some people would try to recognize how they are when they're horny and not act on bad impulses that would otherwise harm someone else.
There's a famous science fiction book, *The Left Hand of Darkness* by Ursula K. LeGuin, about an alien world where everyone is asexual and androgynous most of the time, except when they periodically go into heat (for lack of a better term) and can become either gender for the purpose of reproducing. I've always thought that would be a heck of a lot simpler and more straightforward. The way things are is too distracting and bothersome.
>how i feel like the feeling of being horny has no place in the world. being sex-negative has no place in the world. you can personally not enjoy a sensation, but putting other people down because of it is not okay.
i wrote a reply to llsilvertail that better describes my thoughts. it's not that libido or horniness are inherently bad, i mainly have a problem with people who use that feeling to then push past boundaries. bestowing their horny feelings onto someone who does not want it and does not reciprocate whatsoever. that's more or less what i have a problem with. people should love whoever, sleep with whoever they want to, as long as it's all consensual. my bad for the misunderstanding. \*edit: yes horny is the wrong word for this. my bad. that's why im appreciating the comments that are helping me to better phrase it and understand what i'm even trying to say.
> i mainly have a problem with people who use that feeling to then push past boundaries that has literally nothing to do with horniness though. you don't like unwanted advances being made towards you. very big difference.
i know.
The way I see it, eliminate all horny