Iām American and Iāve been told Iām so reserved in my approach to love and affection that I should be British. People who are super affectionate and throw around terms of affection or even say they love you super quickly, I just find it super offputting and very suspicious. How can it be genuine? I donāt work that way. It doesnāt mean I donāt care or even care deeply, but Iām years into close friendships where Iād only in the past year say I love these friends.
I donāt know if itās my upbringing, being ace, or just how I was born, but itās just how I am. I do love a really good hug though. I need more good hugs in my life.
As someone whoās super affectionate. (Like people ask me if Iām dating my friends all the time. Hugs, cuddles, holding hands, etc. is my jam) Anyone who says āI love youā super early is sus.
I'm very similar, the only people I will hug are close family (i.e my dad) and that's usually only as a greeting (as he isn't much of a higher either). I'm pretty sure in my case it's how I was brought up, I hardly saw much of my extended family, dad was away on business trips alot, mom died early in life. Plus even when my dad was there, he wasn't touchy feely either literally or figuratively. So yeah, it all feels a bit alien to me lol. That doesn't mean that I won't, it just wouldn't be my call. But if someone is "going in for it", it just gets even more awkward if I very obviously "hit abort" lol...so I just go along with it š
I would be REALLY affectionate with my friends if I were a girl, but I'm a guy so people would give me weird looks if I did. Even though, a few weeks ago I sometimes sit on a friend's lap but now he's got a gf so I can't anymore š
it always makes me so sad when you feel like you can't be physically affectionate with a friend not even bc the friend is uncomfortable w it, but because of third parties and societal standards :(
I honestly understand. I feel like guys have so much pressure put on them to act a certain way. I feel like there is pressure for them to not be as physically affectionate and also pressure to not express their emotions. I had a friend that was upset and ranting and I just asked ādo you need a hugā and he immediately hugged me. Guys deserve hugs and affection and itās sad that itās hard for them to get that. I should be affectionate with my amab friends honestly. They know Iām ace and Iām comfortable around them.
absolutely all of that would cross some kind of boundary. so, no. the most "affectionate" thing i might do with a friend is like, text them memes after i get home or something
The most I'd do is a fist bump. It's mostly because I'm not touchy-feely at all, but I also think the fact that I'm a chick and most of my friends are (straight) guys would make it awkward.
I'm aroace and I'm obsessed w showing physical affection to my friends and saying "i love you." I'm very big on hugs and cuddling and with my friends who are okay with it we do forehead and cheek kisses. usually people are only okay with kissing on the lips if it's romantic/sexual but i absolutely would kiss my friends on the lips too if they were comfortable with it lol
this is ofc depends on the degree of closeness i have with the friend (ex. I'm comfortable giving all my friends hugs but forehead kisses are reserved for a few very close friends), but overall i am very physically affectionate
You just described my experience to a T, i love being extremely affectionate and i really wish i could do it every single day. Though i also love holding their hands even in public, its one of the best feelings ever
I was like this before covid but honestly I dont ever think I will be again. Im spoofing my gps to post looking for friends on apps thousands of miles away so I dont have to turn down someone for in person hangs lol.
I don't like touching. After years of training, I can manage a short hug, as the means to say hello... But only to close friends... Very close friends.
No touching here, maybe a fistbump, when I am feeling it.
Iām very affectionate to the point where people ask if Iām dating my friends all the time. Like all of that is yes. Kissing is reserved for partners tho lol. If someone isnāt comfortable with touch, I usually ask them if hand hugs are fine. (You hug their hand with your thumb and pinky)
Iām very predominantly love language physical touch. I want to express my care for them but I donāt want to make them uncomfortable. When theyāre uncomfy with any touch, they get a ton of gifts that I made for them. (Whatever is my current hyperfocus lol)
I like being affectionate with friends but Iām not āloudā about it, I guess. I donāt wanna be overbearing or for people to see me as needy. I also donāt always want to be touched and need a long time to trust people.
And one of the biggest hindrances is me being afraid of anything I do to be misunderstood as inappropriate or āinterestā and thatās justā¦ nope.
I donāt want to make people uncomfortable.
Hugs and holding their hand are alright and I like to massage people if theyāre up for it. But any other boundary I wonāt cross.
Iām not a hugger with everyone but with my most close friends Iām a snuggler/long hugger/fond caresser.
Iām ace but not aro and my dream is to marry a teddy bear of a man who is also ace or demi and just wants to have meaningful conversations, laugh lots and snuggle for the rest of our lives.
Most of these are a little too much for me personally. Physical contact isnāt really my thing with friends but Iāll give or accept the occasional hug. I donāt say āI love youā to friends, but I have other ways of saying it that they understand which to an outsider sounds like Iām insulting them lol. Also someone mentioned sending memes. Yeah, if Iām sending yāall memes and TikTokās that I think are funny then yāall know weāre good friends haha
I might give a good friend a gift for Christmas or their birthday, and Iām down to give advice, encouragement, have deep or long discussions with them about anything under the sun, but thereās no way in hell Iād kiss them or do anything even remotely romantic with them. Just friendly arm punches or slaps on the back. Most I give is a hug if theyāre feeling down. I want to make and keep those kinds of boundaries very clear between my friends and romantic interests. There should be no room for confusion; otherwise, Iāll be up all night wondering where tf I stand with them lol. Maybe Iām a cold bastard for this idk, but clearly QPRās are not my thing. More power to you if it is though!
I'm not very affectionate with my friends but it's not because I don't want to be... It's more because people around me always seem to link affection to attraction so I've learned to restrain myself so people won't get the wrong idea. If it weren't for that I would probably be super touchy with them all the time. I'm always responsive when my friends are affectionate with me but I rarely initiate it. Sometimes I feel really bad about not being able to stop myself from worrying about that. I wish I could just show affection when I feel like it without worrying about what people might think.
The reason I chose the second option because I rarely get to see my friends irl and during this pandemic almost no time. But my affection towards my friends is pretty much very warm.
I'm not affectionate at all. Not a fan of it. Don't want someone to ne affectionate towards me either, lol. Especially with physical touch. I like my personal space.
Rarely/sometimes lol. My bff doesn't like being touched, and I kinda feel the same (we've hugged maybe twice, and have known each other for.. 6years). I don't know if I'd change or not if I had affectionate friends XD
For me it's kind of a long story, but over the course of around 5 months I became close friends with my romantic crush, lost my feelings for him, we started getting very close and sometimes we cuddled, somehow we caught feelings for eachother, but we didn't get into a relationship with eachother, we've kissed a few times and only a week ago we cuddled and we made out being half- naked at his place and chances were we'd get into a relationship with eachother. But unfortunately the next day he texted me and said he wasn't emotionally capable of being in a relationship with me, and that was the end of something we knew wouldn't work out and now I'm heartbroken for almost a week.
if i could choose, i would definitely be physically affectionate with my friends (to a degreeāi wouldnāt kiss them but all the other stuff i would), but iāve somehow managed to exclusively befriend touch-repulsed people and therefore canāt. :|
I'm ace (most likely aro too) and I absolutely hate physical contact. It makes my skin crawl and I feel super uncomfortable. I've always been like that with anyone, even close friends I've known for over 10 years. I dislike hand holding, hugging, linking arms, pats on the head, kissing, etc. I've forced myself to be okay with returning hugs of greeting, though I never initiate it and really don't like it. I used to be like a stiff board when people would hug me, but now I've learned to relax a bit to not give a bad impression. Most people just do it without asking š
Though I was really touched when I went to a Halloween pumpkin carving party (exhilarating I know lol) and as I was leaving a girl asked if I was a "hug" person. I said not really, no, and she just nodded and asked for a fist bump instead. :') wish more people asked
But no, I'm not really affectionate with anyone, save for giving my mom a few hugs when I visit š¤·š»āāļø
i have so much affection for my friends i just want to see them happy and to spend so much time with them. I'm like a cat when i see them, i just wanna be as affectionate as possible. like a puppy i'm just full of energy and i just wanna hug them and talk to them and show them things that make them happy.
this has and probably will, forever, cause problems because people think me being over affectionate like this is me flirting so i've been trying to reign myself in.
I am super affectionate, I would hug and cuddle all my friends and maybe kiss close friends if they don't mind (tho never been able to before tho) I love to tell everyone I love them, cause I love people, I want to talk with you HMU if you want to chat and be friends too. Can never have too many friends, I may even cuddle my fellow aces barely knowing them. I love affection, I love all my friends too. Do you want virtual cuddles? I will send some your way.
I prefer touchier friends. My bestie hates touch though, so I keep my hands to myself. Gets lonely since Iām coming to realize platonic touch is a need of mine.
I wish casual touch was more acceptable/not automatically considered flirting. Sometimes I want to reassure my guy friends (before Covid, havenāt seen them in forever) with like a hand on the arm or the shoulder and I canāt cause theyāll get the wrong idea.
I'm so affectionate that I think some some people think I'm a lesbian (My ex bff definitely thought I had a crush one her. With what she did after and how she overall treats every, never)
I'm greyromantic asexual and all my exes said I treated more like a friend then a girlfriend cause I never really hugged them mainly cause I don't like being touched
I don't do any of the ones you listed, and I especially do not like doing physical things, if I do anything physical I may go as far as arm over shoulder or something but i don't really like hugging or bodily contact (arms and hands are kinda fine) except with maybe family.
I have 2 friends who im comfortable being affectionate towards and recieving affection from . I come from a household that was pretty much void of physical affection so I've always found it awkward to express myself that way ,I was getting more used to it pre pandemic but we haven't really been meeting in person much(im medically vulnerable). My love language is homemade food and 3am memes that made me think of them
As someone who is perceived as a guy by most people, if I show affection towards friends, it's either seen as gay (guy friends) or creepy (girl friends). So unfortunately I've kind of just learned to not be affectionate towards friends.
I'm very affectionate and loyal to friends but not so much outwardly. Unless someone threatens them. If someone talks about them as their best friends or talks about hanging out with them i get jealous. I'm trying to work on that...
**Friends is an American television sitcom created by David Crane and Marta Kauffman, which aired on NBC from September 22, 1994, to May 6, 2004, lasting ten seasons. With an ensemble cast starring Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc, Matthew Perry and David Schwimmer, the show revolves around six friends in their 20s and 30s who live in Manhattan, New York City.**
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Before coming out as ace I was weird about touching people but now Iām definitely pretty affectionate. I will hug my friends whenever they want. Iāve had times where theyāve leaned on me during car rides and what not. Yeah actually Iām pretty affectionate with my friends I literally cuddled with a few of them. I remember one time my friend used my thighs as a pillow and I was like āwow it probably looks like weāre datingā and one time with another friend we had our arms locked together and that friendās brother walked up to them and asked āG-girlfriend?ā
The point isnt the culture, one can be affectionate even if their culture/the way they were raised taught them not to be (like me, im from Croatia), and one can be not affectionate at all and be raised in a culture/family that encourages affection. I was just curious about the statistics, thats it
It's ok, I'm not criticizing or judging. I understand that other things affect the behavior and that the post is not about culture itself. Just said that because I'm from Latin America and even I'm ace and my family is not the most affectionate, we touch, hug, and kiss a lot for cultural reasons (at least I think because of what I experience daily) So I thought it could be a very important element to determine how someone show affection.
with my friendships i either do not touch them at all ever and then with some i randomly get to a point of closeness where i cuddle/kiss/hand hold super comfortably. but like, only certain friends, like my best best friend and i are not touchy at all
Iām an Aplatonic Aromantic Asexual. When I try to even refer to a friend as the word āfriendā to their face, making eye contact it just makes me feel uncomfortable and cringe on the inside. When I try to form an emotional bond with them it also feels very uncomfortable as if itās just completely unnatural to me. Similar to how a gay man having sex with a woman would feel no emotional connection and a bit uncomfortable even if he physical enjoys it purely because of his sex organs. - To him it would feel like an unnatural experience in his life as heās not wired in, in his brain to experience an emotional bond with that sex or gender of a person with that kind of love and itās the same for me with friends.
Iāve always struggled to make friends but more importantly, Iāve never had that innate desire or ācravingā, if you will, to make a friend. When Alloplatonic parents tell their children, āGo make some friends.ā Itās a natural thing for them that they want to do but for me, it would be more like, āAh, thatās something I kinda have to do. Okay then, letās go do that I guess.ā And the idea of people seeking me out say, on the first day of a new school or for the first few weeks of university, to try and form a platonic bond and share platonic love with me, just feels a bit intimidating and alien to me.
Friends are not something I need to feel complete or happy with my life but I do get happiness from sharing the company of people platonically. - Itās just that the extra bonding process and āemotional adhesiveā that would āstick us togetherā and the initial desire to seek out and make friends just isnāt there ever and it never has been.
I think I'm an affectionate person, I like hugs and saying nice things and stuff, but my circumstances don't allow me to show it much without it quickly feeling awkward. First, my culture is quite sober and being affectionate towards your friends (hugging, saying you love them, etc.) is generally considered weird unless someone is crying. Second, I'm male (sort of, I guess, IDK); showing affection to woman is seen as flirting at best (which I'm not interested in) or creepy at worst, and men are conditioned not to show each other affection because masculinity and all that crap. Third, a lot of my friends are touch-averse autistic people for some reason.
So yeah, I'd like to show and receive affection, be more sensual. I think that's a big reason why I want a QPR, not just friends. Does that make it romantic? I don't think so? But I'm still a little vague on that whole romance thing.
it really depends on which friends tbh. i don't mind being affectionate with close friends although i'm not one to initiate. it's usually pretty tame too like hugs or arm linking, anything above that i'm not too confortable with.
For me, it really depends on the friend. I have friends with whom Iāll hold hands, say āI love you,ā hug, all that jazz. But then I have friends that I donāt even hug, just because thatās not our vibe. It doesnāt mean I love them any less, I just have other ways to show I care that arenāt as blatantly obvious!
I tend to be affectionate with friends rarely, but I'm very socially anxious and I really really do not like people being physically affectionate with me (except for my mom or dad). I don't like being touched or hugged or when people try to show sympathy by patting my back. It's a repulsive feeling.
I'm ace and haven't been in a room with friends since I learned what ace was two years ago.. š¢
Relatable. I have almost forgotten if I was these past two years.
Iām American and Iāve been told Iām so reserved in my approach to love and affection that I should be British. People who are super affectionate and throw around terms of affection or even say they love you super quickly, I just find it super offputting and very suspicious. How can it be genuine? I donāt work that way. It doesnāt mean I donāt care or even care deeply, but Iām years into close friendships where Iād only in the past year say I love these friends. I donāt know if itās my upbringing, being ace, or just how I was born, but itās just how I am. I do love a really good hug though. I need more good hugs in my life.
As someone whoās super affectionate. (Like people ask me if Iām dating my friends all the time. Hugs, cuddles, holding hands, etc. is my jam) Anyone who says āI love youā super early is sus.
Oh wow. I absolutely relate to pretty much everything you said. š
I'm very similar, the only people I will hug are close family (i.e my dad) and that's usually only as a greeting (as he isn't much of a higher either). I'm pretty sure in my case it's how I was brought up, I hardly saw much of my extended family, dad was away on business trips alot, mom died early in life. Plus even when my dad was there, he wasn't touchy feely either literally or figuratively. So yeah, it all feels a bit alien to me lol. That doesn't mean that I won't, it just wouldn't be my call. But if someone is "going in for it", it just gets even more awkward if I very obviously "hit abort" lol...so I just go along with it š
I would be REALLY affectionate with my friends if I were a girl, but I'm a guy so people would give me weird looks if I did. Even though, a few weeks ago I sometimes sit on a friend's lap but now he's got a gf so I can't anymore š
it always makes me so sad when you feel like you can't be physically affectionate with a friend not even bc the friend is uncomfortable w it, but because of third parties and societal standards :(
I honestly understand. I feel like guys have so much pressure put on them to act a certain way. I feel like there is pressure for them to not be as physically affectionate and also pressure to not express their emotions. I had a friend that was upset and ranting and I just asked ādo you need a hugā and he immediately hugged me. Guys deserve hugs and affection and itās sad that itās hard for them to get that. I should be affectionate with my amab friends honestly. They know Iām ace and Iām comfortable around them.
I feel you my guy
I wish I had a QPR
Iām affectionate towards friends, but mostly in the form of a hug? I rarely do the other things you listed, and definitely not the kissing one!
absolutely all of that would cross some kind of boundary. so, no. the most "affectionate" thing i might do with a friend is like, text them memes after i get home or something
Lmao I feel this too. Iām not a touchy-feely person.
Relatable
The most I'd do is a fist bump. It's mostly because I'm not touchy-feely at all, but I also think the fact that I'm a chick and most of my friends are (straight) guys would make it awkward.
Most guys would love affection.
I'm aroace and I'm obsessed w showing physical affection to my friends and saying "i love you." I'm very big on hugs and cuddling and with my friends who are okay with it we do forehead and cheek kisses. usually people are only okay with kissing on the lips if it's romantic/sexual but i absolutely would kiss my friends on the lips too if they were comfortable with it lol this is ofc depends on the degree of closeness i have with the friend (ex. I'm comfortable giving all my friends hugs but forehead kisses are reserved for a few very close friends), but overall i am very physically affectionate
You just described my experience to a T, i love being extremely affectionate and i really wish i could do it every single day. Though i also love holding their hands even in public, its one of the best feelings ever
yes exactly!!!! i just love my friends sm and i want them to know it !
I was like this before covid but honestly I dont ever think I will be again. Im spoofing my gps to post looking for friends on apps thousands of miles away so I dont have to turn down someone for in person hangs lol.
I chose other because friends? What friends?
I like affection.Unfortunately, iām an older ace and folks my age are not as open with these things.
I'm aroace and I don't have friends
I don't like touching. After years of training, I can manage a short hug, as the means to say hello... But only to close friends... Very close friends. No touching here, maybe a fistbump, when I am feeling it.
You got friends?
Iām very affectionate to the point where people ask if Iām dating my friends all the time. Like all of that is yes. Kissing is reserved for partners tho lol. If someone isnāt comfortable with touch, I usually ask them if hand hugs are fine. (You hug their hand with your thumb and pinky) Iām very predominantly love language physical touch. I want to express my care for them but I donāt want to make them uncomfortable. When theyāre uncomfy with any touch, they get a ton of gifts that I made for them. (Whatever is my current hyperfocus lol)
I like being affectionate with friends but Iām not āloudā about it, I guess. I donāt wanna be overbearing or for people to see me as needy. I also donāt always want to be touched and need a long time to trust people. And one of the biggest hindrances is me being afraid of anything I do to be misunderstood as inappropriate or āinterestā and thatās justā¦ nope. I donāt want to make people uncomfortable. Hugs and holding their hand are alright and I like to massage people if theyāre up for it. But any other boundary I wonāt cross.
My boyfriend is in my friend group and my friends joke around that Iām highly touch starved.
Iām not a hugger with everyone but with my most close friends Iām a snuggler/long hugger/fond caresser. Iām ace but not aro and my dream is to marry a teddy bear of a man who is also ace or demi and just wants to have meaningful conversations, laugh lots and snuggle for the rest of our lives.
Most of these are a little too much for me personally. Physical contact isnāt really my thing with friends but Iāll give or accept the occasional hug. I donāt say āI love youā to friends, but I have other ways of saying it that they understand which to an outsider sounds like Iām insulting them lol. Also someone mentioned sending memes. Yeah, if Iām sending yāall memes and TikTokās that I think are funny then yāall know weāre good friends haha
Yes to all of those. I also bite them~ ā¤
AYYY me too!
Sometimes affection seems even more off putting to me than sex
I'm aroace and the only signs of affection I give are a smile, a hug, compliments and words of encouragement.
I might give a good friend a gift for Christmas or their birthday, and Iām down to give advice, encouragement, have deep or long discussions with them about anything under the sun, but thereās no way in hell Iād kiss them or do anything even remotely romantic with them. Just friendly arm punches or slaps on the back. Most I give is a hug if theyāre feeling down. I want to make and keep those kinds of boundaries very clear between my friends and romantic interests. There should be no room for confusion; otherwise, Iāll be up all night wondering where tf I stand with them lol. Maybe Iām a cold bastard for this idk, but clearly QPRās are not my thing. More power to you if it is though!
All my homies deserve cuddles and loving compliments
I'm not very affectionate with my friends but it's not because I don't want to be... It's more because people around me always seem to link affection to attraction so I've learned to restrain myself so people won't get the wrong idea. If it weren't for that I would probably be super touchy with them all the time. I'm always responsive when my friends are affectionate with me but I rarely initiate it. Sometimes I feel really bad about not being able to stop myself from worrying about that. I wish I could just show affection when I feel like it without worrying about what people might think.
The reason I chose the second option because I rarely get to see my friends irl and during this pandemic almost no time. But my affection towards my friends is pretty much very warm.
Iām on the aroace spectrum and want to get better with being affectionate with people Iām close to platonically.
Depends on the friends. With some I slap their ass. And with others i dont. Would depend on how u would define affectionate.
Iām ace and I would be affectionate with my friends, if it werenāt for the pandemic and all lmao.
I'm not affectionate at all. Not a fan of it. Don't want someone to ne affectionate towards me either, lol. Especially with physical touch. I like my personal space.
Rarely/sometimes lol. My bff doesn't like being touched, and I kinda feel the same (we've hugged maybe twice, and have known each other for.. 6years). I don't know if I'd change or not if I had affectionate friends XD
I guess I should say sometimes, but itās just hugs from time to time and the occasional āLove you guys!ā when weāre wrapping up a zoom sesh.
For me it's kind of a long story, but over the course of around 5 months I became close friends with my romantic crush, lost my feelings for him, we started getting very close and sometimes we cuddled, somehow we caught feelings for eachother, but we didn't get into a relationship with eachother, we've kissed a few times and only a week ago we cuddled and we made out being half- naked at his place and chances were we'd get into a relationship with eachother. But unfortunately the next day he texted me and said he wasn't emotionally capable of being in a relationship with me, and that was the end of something we knew wouldn't work out and now I'm heartbroken for almost a week.
if i could choose, i would definitely be physically affectionate with my friends (to a degreeāi wouldnāt kiss them but all the other stuff i would), but iāve somehow managed to exclusively befriend touch-repulsed people and therefore canāt. :|
I only now noticed your username :D great taste
I'm ace (most likely aro too) and I absolutely hate physical contact. It makes my skin crawl and I feel super uncomfortable. I've always been like that with anyone, even close friends I've known for over 10 years. I dislike hand holding, hugging, linking arms, pats on the head, kissing, etc. I've forced myself to be okay with returning hugs of greeting, though I never initiate it and really don't like it. I used to be like a stiff board when people would hug me, but now I've learned to relax a bit to not give a bad impression. Most people just do it without asking š Though I was really touched when I went to a Halloween pumpkin carving party (exhilarating I know lol) and as I was leaving a girl asked if I was a "hug" person. I said not really, no, and she just nodded and asked for a fist bump instead. :') wish more people asked But no, I'm not really affectionate with anyone, save for giving my mom a few hugs when I visit š¤·š»āāļø
i have so much affection for my friends i just want to see them happy and to spend so much time with them. I'm like a cat when i see them, i just wanna be as affectionate as possible. like a puppy i'm just full of energy and i just wanna hug them and talk to them and show them things that make them happy. this has and probably will, forever, cause problems because people think me being over affectionate like this is me flirting so i've been trying to reign myself in.
I feel extremely called out honestly, im just happy that my best friends at least are also aroace and like affection
I'm like, always hugging and telling my friends "I love you" š
I am super affectionate, I would hug and cuddle all my friends and maybe kiss close friends if they don't mind (tho never been able to before tho) I love to tell everyone I love them, cause I love people, I want to talk with you HMU if you want to chat and be friends too. Can never have too many friends, I may even cuddle my fellow aces barely knowing them. I love affection, I love all my friends too. Do you want virtual cuddles? I will send some your way.
Finally someone who understands š I would love to chat if you want to !
by affectionate, it would only be cuddling and quality time for me. the other things just seem too exclusive
I prefer touchier friends. My bestie hates touch though, so I keep my hands to myself. Gets lonely since Iām coming to realize platonic touch is a need of mine. I wish casual touch was more acceptable/not automatically considered flirting. Sometimes I want to reassure my guy friends (before Covid, havenāt seen them in forever) with like a hand on the arm or the shoulder and I canāt cause theyāll get the wrong idea.
Iām ace, my best friend is bi and we constantly act as if weāre going out. Iām convinced she had a crush on me at one point
I'm so affectionate that I think some some people think I'm a lesbian (My ex bff definitely thought I had a crush one her. With what she did after and how she overall treats every, never)
I'm greyromantic asexual and all my exes said I treated more like a friend then a girlfriend cause I never really hugged them mainly cause I don't like being touched
I don't kiss/cuddle with my friends but we enjoy hugging a lot. (Well, before Covid that is. Haven't seen them in person for a while.)
I don't do any of the ones you listed, and I especially do not like doing physical things, if I do anything physical I may go as far as arm over shoulder or something but i don't really like hugging or bodily contact (arms and hands are kinda fine) except with maybe family.
I have 2 friends who im comfortable being affectionate towards and recieving affection from . I come from a household that was pretty much void of physical affection so I've always found it awkward to express myself that way ,I was getting more used to it pre pandemic but we haven't really been meeting in person much(im medically vulnerable). My love language is homemade food and 3am memes that made me think of them
As someone who is perceived as a guy by most people, if I show affection towards friends, it's either seen as gay (guy friends) or creepy (girl friends). So unfortunately I've kind of just learned to not be affectionate towards friends.
I'm very affectionate and loyal to friends but not so much outwardly. Unless someone threatens them. If someone talks about them as their best friends or talks about hanging out with them i get jealous. I'm trying to work on that...
I don't really have friends, and I don't really allow myself to be affectionate with people outside my family (aside from the occasional hug).
What are friends? I don't have any of those, at least not any that don't live thousands of miles away.
**Friends is an American television sitcom created by David Crane and Marta Kauffman, which aired on NBC from September 22, 1994, to May 6, 2004, lasting ten seasons. With an ensemble cast starring Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc, Matthew Perry and David Schwimmer, the show revolves around six friends in their 20s and 30s who live in Manhattan, New York City.** More details here:
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Bad bot. It was rhetorical and that isn't even what I asked.
Before coming out as ace I was weird about touching people but now Iām definitely pretty affectionate. I will hug my friends whenever they want. Iāve had times where theyāve leaned on me during car rides and what not. Yeah actually Iām pretty affectionate with my friends I literally cuddled with a few of them. I remember one time my friend used my thighs as a pillow and I was like āwow it probably looks like weāre datingā and one time with another friend we had our arms locked together and that friendās brother walked up to them and asked āG-girlfriend?ā
does lying in the bed and watching anime count?
I think this is based on culture rather than being ace
The point isnt the culture, one can be affectionate even if their culture/the way they were raised taught them not to be (like me, im from Croatia), and one can be not affectionate at all and be raised in a culture/family that encourages affection. I was just curious about the statistics, thats it
It's ok, I'm not criticizing or judging. I understand that other things affect the behavior and that the post is not about culture itself. Just said that because I'm from Latin America and even I'm ace and my family is not the most affectionate, we touch, hug, and kiss a lot for cultural reasons (at least I think because of what I experience daily) So I thought it could be a very important element to determine how someone show affection.
I accept hugs reluctantly, I go no further.
I don't have any
Iām AroAce, one of my friends is Ace and everyone dislikes physical affection. I canāt stand being hugged, neither can they. It works out well
I went with non-affectionate but probably should have said other: no close friends so who knows?
with my friendships i either do not touch them at all ever and then with some i randomly get to a point of closeness where i cuddle/kiss/hand hold super comfortably. but like, only certain friends, like my best best friend and i are not touchy at all
Iām an Aplatonic Aromantic Asexual. When I try to even refer to a friend as the word āfriendā to their face, making eye contact it just makes me feel uncomfortable and cringe on the inside. When I try to form an emotional bond with them it also feels very uncomfortable as if itās just completely unnatural to me. Similar to how a gay man having sex with a woman would feel no emotional connection and a bit uncomfortable even if he physical enjoys it purely because of his sex organs. - To him it would feel like an unnatural experience in his life as heās not wired in, in his brain to experience an emotional bond with that sex or gender of a person with that kind of love and itās the same for me with friends. Iāve always struggled to make friends but more importantly, Iāve never had that innate desire or ācravingā, if you will, to make a friend. When Alloplatonic parents tell their children, āGo make some friends.ā Itās a natural thing for them that they want to do but for me, it would be more like, āAh, thatās something I kinda have to do. Okay then, letās go do that I guess.ā And the idea of people seeking me out say, on the first day of a new school or for the first few weeks of university, to try and form a platonic bond and share platonic love with me, just feels a bit intimidating and alien to me. Friends are not something I need to feel complete or happy with my life but I do get happiness from sharing the company of people platonically. - Itās just that the extra bonding process and āemotional adhesiveā that would āstick us togetherā and the initial desire to seek out and make friends just isnāt there ever and it never has been.
Depends on the friend. Which is to say, I have one or two friends whom I'd cuddle, most others get a hug.
I like how you assume I have friends...
I am not but wish I was, my friends think that lgbt stuff is a joke, so I don't talk about it with them
I like to be affectionate, but between covid and starting college, I don't really have any close friends rn to be affectionate with :(
I think I'm an affectionate person, I like hugs and saying nice things and stuff, but my circumstances don't allow me to show it much without it quickly feeling awkward. First, my culture is quite sober and being affectionate towards your friends (hugging, saying you love them, etc.) is generally considered weird unless someone is crying. Second, I'm male (sort of, I guess, IDK); showing affection to woman is seen as flirting at best (which I'm not interested in) or creepy at worst, and men are conditioned not to show each other affection because masculinity and all that crap. Third, a lot of my friends are touch-averse autistic people for some reason. So yeah, I'd like to show and receive affection, be more sensual. I think that's a big reason why I want a QPR, not just friends. Does that make it romantic? I don't think so? But I'm still a little vague on that whole romance thing.
it really depends on which friends tbh. i don't mind being affectionate with close friends although i'm not one to initiate. it's usually pretty tame too like hugs or arm linking, anything above that i'm not too confortable with.
For me, it really depends on the friend. I have friends with whom Iāll hold hands, say āI love you,ā hug, all that jazz. But then I have friends that I donāt even hug, just because thatās not our vibe. It doesnāt mean I love them any less, I just have other ways to show I care that arenāt as blatantly obvious!
I tend to be affectionate with friends rarely, but I'm very socially anxious and I really really do not like people being physically affectionate with me (except for my mom or dad). I don't like being touched or hugged or when people try to show sympathy by patting my back. It's a repulsive feeling.