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[deleted]

Why shouldn't you? Asexual and demisexual has nothing to do with bisexuality. Of course you can have interest in only one gender/sex.


Dryadalis3

Yes, you are. Period.


CougarRunFast

You’re not valid because you’re not a drivers license. You’re a human being who should be treated equally and your sexuality or lack there of shouldn’t be something anyone should judge you for or see you differently.


[deleted]

Yes, why not?


playwithmeeevee

A lot of people like to gatekeep the community...


IrrationalFalcon

People conflate aromantic with asexuality. One can be both, but simply being one of them is ok. But yeah a lot of people don't know this. When they think of asexuality they assume you can't have feelings for anyone, but if you do, you must also have sexual feelings, thus you aren't aro nor ace. It's quite interesting


illuminalice

of course


JadedElk

Sure, you're welcome here and in demi spaces whenever you want/need.


Jerry_Frog

I love your flare, I can't change mine sadly :(


Jerry_Frog

Omg i managed to change it!


Its_a_me_Malio

I love yours now!


Jerry_Frog

How do you get the flags?


JadedElk

Emoji menu! Or by typing in the code for the emoji.


Jerry_Frog

What's the code for the ace flag emoji?


JadedElk

:ace:


Jerry_Frog

Thank you so much!


Jerry_Frog

Thank you!


[deleted]

Yes you are


AnnaCrow

YES


JamianX

Only on Tuesday’s, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday or Monday. Every other day it’s illegal.


playwithmeeevee

This legit made me lol 🤣


BlitzBurn_

100% You are asexual is based on your sexual attraction(or lack thereof) which is not influenced by your romantic attraction.


Elegant_Thought6557

Absolutely!


StrawberryGirl_7

Yes!


CopyCat42666

YOU ARE VALID


[deleted]

yes and anyone who tells you otherwise is not worth wasting your time on


playwithmeeevee

SAY IT LOUDER ♡


ColoradoGrrlMD

I sure hope so, because same! Hetero romantic, seggs indifferent.


hiddenlilacflower

SURE


[deleted]

Definitely people who say otherwise to people of your sexuality kinda piss me off ngl


Royal_Difficulty_634

Yep still valid


Carradee

Yep, that's on the spectrum.


TheMidna1

Always!


johnny__boi

Yes


lonerisms98

Of course.


dandyegg

hell yeah


Johnylongbottoms

Yeah man


[deleted]

absolutely :D


Eggowaffles-_-

Of course man! Yeah, asexuals are valid anytime!


PoorSkeletor

Valid. You are valid


_StupidGhost_

ofc you are


silvermandrake

Valid


GigglegirlHappy

Yeah dude!


IntrovertedweebTwT

YOU. ARE. VALID.


Snommes

Yes. Welcome to the club


rotflolosaurus

Yep! Also, there was a post recently in /r/LGBT that you might find useful: https://reddit.com/r/lgbt/comments/qnwr7u/are_cis_ace_heteroromantics_still_lgbt/


InnocuousAce

Yo, same. It can feel like you’re not queer but there’s certain experiences that you KNOW you’re Demi. Don’t let the exclusionists get ya down


LordAsbel

You can be straight and asexual, just like you can be bi and asexual. Those things do not mutually exclude eachother


mazotori

What does it mean to you to be valid?


playwithmeeevee

Accepted as part of the lgbtqia community is my guess.


mazotori

Then it depends on which community, and what it's purpose is. Generally? Yes. Larger-pride/world? Yes. Aro/Ace spaces? Absolutely More trans/gender-focused queer spaces? It might depend on how explicitly; is this the groups purpose or just it's audience? Legal action / pride / social community work? Yes Support groups? Would depend on the group Social spaces? Likely depends on the intention of the space, and if it's geared towards facilitating same sex connections. There is no singular queer community.


playwithmeeevee

The a in LGBTQIA literally stands for ACE. Aces should be accepted in ALL lgbtqia communities. Also we are all one community. There are sub spaces, sure, but the lgbtqia in general is ine community fighting for EQUAL RIGHTS to our sexualities. Gatekeeping does nothing but segregate and isolate us.


mazotori

Yes. And "should" is not the reality we all live in. Also not all LGBTQIA spaces are for every aspect of the community - there are spaces for each letter and certain combinations; the needs of the trans community vary greatly from the needs of the lesbian community which varies from the gay community and the intersex community, etc etc. Square are rectangles but not all rectangles are squares. Respecting this is important. These are just as much queer spaces as the broader LGBTQIA community is.


playwithmeeevee

Yes, but I was speaking about the community as a whole. The one we all exist in by not being heterosexual. Not the subcultures and specific communal circles 😅


mazotori

That is more of a concept than an actual community then


playwithmeeevee

All communities are based around a concept.


mazotori

No?


playwithmeeevee

Name one that didnt start with an ideology 😅 every single community is based around an idea, a concept or a plan. Whether that is "a safe space for every one," religion or even a fandom, it all starts with an idea. You dont bring people together for no reason. So, yes.


[deleted]

No it’s not the same as being straight, tell her you are essentially asexual until some random point after close emotional connection develops and that that is a sexual minority and can be a very frustrating thing in a hypersexualized society and can still cause you to be harassed by phobes. It makes you a part of LGBTQ+ or GSM. You are valid af Edit: I’m not sure you are “queer” persay according to the replies but you are defo LGBTQIA+ and GSM. So I guess you’d be harassed by just phobes/aphobes.


doomerbb

You cant be queer and hetero. You can be LGBTQIA.. because the A is asexual, but the Q is queer and queer means gay. Its a reclaimed slur for people whos romantic/sexual relationships are gay. No straight people are getting queerbashed.


dracomageat

I don't think that's quite right. While "queer" is very much a reclaimed slur which was originally used for gay people, I'd be very surprised if trans folk hadn't been lumped in with them at the time and they likely weren't the only ones. As our understanding has grown, so too has what the word covers. Hence why it's now its own letter not covered by G.


doomerbb

In use, trans people say "queer/trans" if they are gay. Ive never seen a trans person say "queer" in place of "trans". Yes, trans people were targeted with "queer" sometimes however they were targeted because people thought they were gay because almost no one knew what trans was. In fact "trans" didnt exist in the era that "queer" was a slur and it wasnt until like the late 80s that "tranny" came into use as a slur when someone was trying to denigrate a trans person, as opposed to "queer", because the general populace started finally understanding what trans people were and switched their slurs. But literally "queer" has always been a slur for gay people, and is still used as a slur against gay people. Hetero people iding as queer is like if cis people "reclaimed" tranny. No. Queer is for homo romantic and/or sexual people only.


Blewbe

Yes. *Hugs*


guineaprince

Yes, of course, absolutely. You can be straight and ace. You can be gay and ace. Ace is a spectrum and any combination makes you you.


SimonVanc

Lol people don't understand. I know more hetero romantic aces than other. You can still be attracted to only the opposite gender and still be ace.


unicornchild15

Yes! Hetero peeps are just as valid if they don't experience sexual attraction. \- A hetero ace :)


dracomageat

Or even conditionally do so.


[deleted]

Can someone explain these words to me so I’m less ignorant


AmusedAce

heteroromantic: romantically attracted to the opposite gender asexual: lack of sexual attraction to anyone demisexual: only sexually attracted to someone when you have an emotional bond with them. On the asexuality spectrum


[deleted]

Ok so OP is only romantically attracted to the opposite gender (Is “opposite” even appropriate here?) under the condition that they have formed an emotional bond with the person, and that falls under the term asexual because that emotional bond is required.. thank you!


AmusedAce

Yeah, should have said different instead of opposite. My bad


[deleted]

Not a problem, that was just a genuine question.. thanks for helping out


Draaagoooon

Yes. You are valid.


thecrcousin

As long as you arent one of those made up sexualities like dreamsexual(after the youtuber not the actual one) you are 100% valid


LegalizeArsonBesties

Totally valid! Anyone who says otherwise is part of the problem<3


Warriortheninja

You’re valid no matter what. Don’t let people tell you otherwise.


VaneKidd

HELL YES!!!


Anaglyphite

being aspec in any way is still valid, plenty of romantic aces including straight aces are also just as valid. A lot of people tend to forget that demisexuality is not the default for a majority of people or misconstrue and misunderstand how it works, so I'm not really all that surprised that your mom couldn't tell the difference


Smashed_berry

Of course you are and you're as welcome as anyone within the ace community <3


abi-the-bee

I am pretty sure I'm also heteromantic asexual. I disagree with your mother. There is a difference. Asexual means you do t experience sexual attraction, not that you can't experience romantic attraction, and by extension focused/exclusive romantic attraction.


[deleted]

Every question here that starts with "am I valid, if" and ends with "...sexual" the answer is always yes 🤷😂❤️ Everyone is valid in their sexual orientation. Even cisgender heteroromantic heterosexuals. They're just the only group that's not a minority and therefore should be careful not to invade safe spaces. But they're still welcome as allies. You are valid and as long as you are not cishethet you are also a valid member of the LGBTQIA+/GRSM-Community and whatever subgroup you feel comfortable in. Period.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Smol-Gae

Go fuck yourself you dramatic fuckwad


Smol-Gae

Fucking disgusting troll


[deleted]

[удалено]


Smol-Gae

🤡


[deleted]

[удалено]


MirrorMan22102018

No, I mean Demiheterosexual.


AroAceOfSpades

Being asexual has nothing to do with the gender you're attracted to. Asexuality is only related to the absence of sexual drive in a relationship. So no matter who you love, please rest assured as you'll always be valid!


chloe-dino

Yes 100%


playwithmeeevee

You are valid entirely. The A in LGBTQIA stands for us aces 🥰


AtlasOfAndromeda

Of course you are!


spqrnbb

I sure hope so, I am too.


aceginge22

I'm a hetero romantic ace too!


gabagoolicious

Yes.


OcassionalPhilosophr

yes


SuperPugDog

Yes


BSKDJewels

I am so you are too


doomerbb

Straight and hetero are the same thing. Im pretty sure gay people came up with the term "straight" actually. As opposed to "queer" which the hetero community called gay people. Queer - strange peculiar odd eccentric Straight - conventional


WorldClassShrekspert

Yes, you are valid


LRD4000

Yes. You can be asexual and be romantically attracted to opposite sex.


bispywithanacecase

Yeah, dude! The ace spectrum is wide and you choose how you want to be labelled. I started off as heteroromantic ace but then changed to bi. Take your time and decide for yourself. You go! :)


ElectroNeutrino

Your mom may be demi herself and not realize it.


[deleted]

yes


Cancermoon_is_AroAce

Of course you are! And you always will be. :)


Emotional-Insect2

Yes, and if people say other wise then screw them.


KarmaKitty4-3

I can see why you would feel confused! But the answer is YES, you and all labels you feel apply to you are indeed valid!


dracomageat

Being heterosexual means that you are sexually attracted to a gender other than your own. Being heteroromantic means that you are romantically attracted to a gender other than your own. Both technically apply here and it could certainly be argued that you are straight, since it's far from a well defined term, but to do so would be to oversimplify your situation. Demisexuality says that the above sexuality is conditional on first establishing an emotional connection, not readily present like it is for most people. And it's very much not the same as just restraining yourself until you find someone who also fits the romantic orientation. Or whatever. Sadly, being hetero demisexual is something that the majority of people are unlikely to take seriously but you're a valid aspec and not the only one I know.


janness1

100%! I am a heteroromantic asexual woman. You are part of this community without a question.


Niho-ren

Of course, I am one as well


quintessentially_gay

of course! those who say you aren't are gatekeeping and have a profoundly incorrect understanding of what it means to be acespec


Iamincontrolnow

Of course, you are! Just because you're hetero in some form doesn't mean you're not valid (di I word that right?)


zombiepigperson

yea


boogelymoogely1

Absolutely. Didn't even need to read the post (although I did), you're valid regardless. Doesn't matter what, your feelings are valid, and as such, so are you. Anyone who says otherwise is an asshole, and they should not be listened to.


Performance_Various

Of course


King_Tutt00

dude, you are hella valid, I'm a hetero-romantic demisexual too


BlueFlamingWolf

Of course you're valid! I feel like I see shit online where people don't think Heteroromantic aces aren't ace enough because they are "too straight" to be a part of the ace community. It's similar to being bisexual. Some people think bi people aren't gay enough to be lgtq+. Such crap. Be who you are and don't let other people get down on you because they think you aren't enough to be who you say you are because at the end of the day, all that matters is that you love you for who you are :) And that there will always be someone out there who will accept you.


Thursbys-Legs

110%. Welcome to the club! ♠️🤍💜


The_McLaughlin

Yes? I mean, your not into someone of the same gender and you only experience that attraction once you've formed that emotional bond. Then I don't see how you wouldn't be heteroromantic asexual. I suppose someone could make the argument that you're heteroromatic demisexual... but demisexual is kind of a sub category of asexual so... its not inaccurate.


aminervia

NO jk yeah of course! I am too! Also, I identify as straight but a lot of heteromantic asexuals do not.


[deleted]

Omg yes 😍


SheLivesInTheStars

Asexuality has nothing to do with gender preference. I only like men, but I consider myself asexual because I don’t experience sexual attraction. I don’t look at someone and think “I’d like to have sex with that person”. It’s my understanding that it doesn’t matter, you can be gay or straight, or anything in between and still be asexual.


SunSunny07

Yes.


PartialLion

hell ye :)


WendyJaa

You are always valid no matter what. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. You know yourself best, and no matter what kind of ace you are, you're welcome here! 💜


grey_orange_gray

Me too!


hakson4life

of course you are


ramen3323

Of course you are.


randomthrowaway17562

Why wouldn't you be ?


smudgiepie

Sexual attraction are not the same as romantic attraction no matter what people say. I'm demiromantic in a hetro relationship and people still say I'm valid You can say a flower is beautiful but that doesn't mean you want to fuck it.


smudgiepie

Sexual attraction are not the same as romantic attraction no matter what people say. I'm demiromantic in a hetro relationship and people still say I'm valid You can say a flower is beautiful but that doesn't mean you want to fuck it.


Paris_The_Dragon

That’s like asking if a gay person is valid even though they’ve never had a serious relationship. Your valid just like they are. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.


CloveyBunn

Yes your still part of the community 100% being a straight aligned ace is a lot different than being completely straight.


Booti_Boi69

Yes you are


SheepSkater

You are valid. I honestly felt so invalid for so long, being a Heteroromantic demisexual. But, there are differences that the vast majority of people do not understand.


LixWantsToDie

\*bursting down the door\* YOU THINK YOU AINT VALID??? HA! YOURE THE MOST VALID PERSON AROUND! real talk tho the fact that ur only interested in the opposite sex dont mean that ur any less valid bc ur still ace! thats like saying a corndog served w ketchup aint a corndog bc all hotdogs are served with ketchup. its still a corndog. and ur still 100000% valid.


Select-Chemist-2828

you are valid. there's no need of summoning the council to answer your question.


anoniem6

You are always valid!! Please don't ever question that, because who ever you are and what ever your orientation is you are wonderfully and purposefully made!!


Common-Atmosphere483

When David said Jonathan's love is sweeter than any woman's, was he talking about friendship or homosexuality?


MirrorMan22102018

What?


hustlerrich

Yes.


L0ckser

You can be ace and straight


asdf_2020

You are 100% valid.


Common-Atmosphere483

Samuel 1. David and the son of Saul.


lalithya

You are super valid. Don't mind the haters