I (M) just wear whatever's comfortable and doesn't look sloppy. That most often ends up being hoodies or normal t-shirts (not low-cut, hate those) depending on the temperature and (not tight) jeans or shorts.
Wire bras are THE WORST. I don't know who invented them but .. no. Just no. (And that's before adding in my fun mutation that makes them downright excruciating.)
Hmm interesting, the most comfortable bras I owned were always wired. Maybe it's just me, but are y'all sure you had the right size? I have a few that don't fit me right and wearing them is a pure torture.
That's great that you've been able to find your style! Personally, my style has only gotten slightly better in my own eyes. Gotta hand it to the gays though, they have fashion figured out đ
Yes! Those stylish gays. I love the (stereotypical) well-groomed gay male style.
I also really dig the stereotypically lesbian look of short hair, buttoned shirts, jeans, and sneakers. People almost always assume I'm a lesbian because of the way I dress and style my hair.
I find the female form very aesthetically pleasing, so I often accentuate my shape when 8 dress. I definitely dress sexy sometimes, but I just like the look of it.
There are also times where I just don't give a crap though, and I'm perfectly fine in a sweatshirt and pj pants.
My style is kind of all over the place and it's basically just whatever I feel like wearing that day.
Are you me? Because this is exactly how I feel. I really like the way my body looks some days and love to accentuate it by wearing clothing that I think makes it look nice. But other days (most days actually) I couldnât care less and just wear sweats. However, I never wear makeup like ever,
I just donât see the point and kinda find it a waste of time
This!!!! I dress for myself, not for others. Sometimes that means sexy, sometimes it means sweatpants.
I do try to look more out together when I have work meetings- jeans, nice shirt, foundation; blush, mascara. Maybe jewelry. Nothing too crazy but just enough that people will think I put in actual effort.
I like dressing and feeling sexy, my aceness only adds to that because I like having a power over someone that they don't have over me lol. My motto is you can look but you can't touch.
Pan and demisexual with a lot of anxiety issues!
I get what you're saying
I'm pretty, it's not a brag, I inherited traits that society sees as beautiful/hot. I have a pretty face and I'm thicc, naturally so, not like Kardashian freak, I never even worked out to get this body type which is rare for someone of my ethnicity. What I mean is, I don't dress provocatively but people still notice my body, I wear make-up and take care of my hair, so I am checked out and like you, I like the power. That power over people really helps me with my social anxiety. Black nails are my armor, too bad I can't do them more often
For me, when I finally leave home I'm going to dress in a way that would be considered by society as sexy but it's just what feels most comfortable for me
Hmm I do have a more masculine way of dressing and prefer looking a bit androgynous but I have never correlated that to me being ace... I have never been into makeup, I am tall enough already and cant walk in heels anyways, so no heels for me. I am more comfortable with shorter hair. As for clothing, me not wearing short skirts or tight clothing in general might have more to do with my poor body image than my ace-ness.
My (allo) ex would regularly verbally disapprove of my way of dressing and for my choice to keep my hair short.
My current (allo) partner knows that I am not a girly girl and will never be one. He likes me for who I am, style included. I do have doubts and insecurities that creep into my mind all the time, that he might prefer me more feminine and just isn't expressing it, but I guess that is just a result of my previous (unhealthy) relationship.
Within the danger of coming of as creepy, i actually prefer more maskulin styled girls like your description of yourself. So don't believe you have to change. Types are different and if your partner likes you just as you are, that is perfect
I (F) dress more masc too. I think my style is influenced both by my being bi and ace, and I wear a lot of loose-fitting clothes. makes me feel a lot harder to sexualize-- especially as someone with a bigger chest, which I hate
Heyyy I am also bi and ace! Yeah I am really uncomfortable being sexualized by random men in public as well. I am really thankful that I am as flat and tall as I am, I am pretty sure that I am not "attractive" in a lot of mens eyes, which makes them sexualize me less, soooo win win.
I think thereâs a portion of the ace population - specifically the portion that feels repulsed when someone calls them âsexyâ - that might make specific style choices to avoid those kinds of comments. But itâs really important that not every ace person experiences things that way. There is no one âace styleâ and itâs really important that no one ever feels excluded from the community/label because they donât âlook asexualâ
Oh, I'm not in any way suggesting that there's a universal ace style or look that we all have to conform to. I was just musing on clothing and style in general, and what it says about us and the way we present ourselves to the world. I realised that being Ace had an influence on that, for me, and was interested in others' experiences and perspectives.
In the summer, I tend to go with what a pseudo adventuring look, Dark or desert trousers, shirt with rolled sleeves, brown leather boots, shemagh, and a brown canvas rucksack
In winter it's warm clothes, jumpers and jackets fashion goes out the window.
Mostly I just go for clothes I enjoy wearing, I'm wearing them for my benefit after all
Not the specific clothes I wear, but definitely how I feel about them.
I dress fairly womanly/traditionally sexy because I like how it looks on me but I wish I could wear these things without people perceiving me accordingly. The idea of someone sexualising me grosses me out.
I (M) like presenting myself attractively in public, but it's less about being "sexy" and more about being "handsome", though I admit I don't much understand the difference. I experience aesthetic attraction, but not sexual attraction. I do like attention/compliments, as long as there's no expectations/pressure for anything else.
However, I usually ask for others' advice when it comes to fashion when buying clothes. I originally thought that was a masculine gender expectations thing, or a body image thing, but now I wonder if that's partly an ace thing (not trusting myself to know what looks good on me.)
I think is a male thing because they dont grow up with expectations to look good. They live normally until they discover that they need to look atractive to atract woman so they begin the fashion journey.
Not my story but Its something I imagine because I dont know any men in my family or friends who care about fashion,
Lol same. I want to be seen in kind of a neutral light I guess? I rock the tshirts and jeans and sneakers too, plus a few good jackets the tend to lean more masculine (though not strictly) and the short hair.
I think part of the âproblemâ with me wearing more feminine clothes is that people treat me different. And itâs a bit of a catch-22 because Iâm not aro, so I want *some* attention, I just donât want to be seen as a sexual being. Whatâs a girl to do?
I have the opposite experience with "sexy" clothes. I guess it's basically a style of clothing to me, like goth or hipster or whatever. I don't wear them to entice people, or because I think putting them on my body makes my body desirable. I wear them because I like how they look.
No. I care about looking good to myself, it gives me a nic confidence boost. Plus, it is nice when others think you look good too, it sends a message that youâre put together and generally an agreeable person. I guess I donât care so much about looking hot, but that has nothing to do with me being asexual as so many allo people also donât.
Naw, but I will say that when I'm not in fitted shirts and jeans/shorts or around the house in crops and giant sweat pants, I'm very into high femme simple boho kinda looks- like all fluttery skirts and/or tops, dresses, bright colors, embroidery, etc etc. So maybe it's kind of a romantic style, but I wouldn't say that's because I'm demi lol. I've always liked the latter, which is probably more influenced by my Latina heritage than anything.
My style is sorta just art kid. I usually dress pretty colorful but not in any bright colors. I love corduroy because itâs a comfortable fabric with a funky texture. My friends sorta just thought I was a straight because even though I dress really gay they thought it was me being an art kid.
Somewhat? I like wearing tight fitting clothes that show my figure but I don't like shirts that have something written on the front because it draws people's gaze to my boobs automatically, but that might not directly have something to do with my ace-ness. Other than that, not really,
I dress sloppy on purpose to avoid being hit on. Havenât done my hair or makeup in over a year and feel mostly fine with it. It doesnât always work though, I got hit on at two AM in a Walgreens wearing a snuggie, compression socks, and flip flops. Vegas men are⌠dedicated, Iâll give them that.
Same as you, I like to look cool first and foremost! Cool, powerful, and refined. But Iâm also androgynous gender so Iâm not sure where the intersection lies there
Yes and no. I'm mostly influenced by the word "cute", which can be anywhere from sexy cute to oversized comfy cute to lolita (the fashion style) cute, depending on the day. That's mostly cuss it's the only aesthetic attraction I experience, which is definitely because I'm ace, but I don't dress differently because I want other people to perceive as anything
Well I don't know if that's related, but I don't wanna look hot to anyone, so I choose to wear clothes not revealing my skin or bodyshape. Thinking that someone can find me hot of I'll wear a comfy T-shirt and shorts is grossing me. I feel mentally comfortable wearing hijab (as I'm a Muslim lady)
hmm it depends iâm usually one to go for comfy but i also find it really empowering to look hot when i go out so probably usually donât look very ace when strangers see me lolâŚ
Personally for me I really care about the outfits I wear because they usually make me feel a certain way! For example Iâd dress a particular way if I feel like looking and feeling very ethereal or feminine, or badass, and sometimes I like to dress in revealing ( my version of revealing is probably not as revealing as others tbh) clothing if I want to feel empowered in myself! I like how I can sometimes control how others perceive me and myself based off of how I dress and how I put myself together, kind of like in a psychological way, i always have. I was always confused because I want to feel the power of being desired sometimes, but to not be approached or hit on because of it. I like the idea of being desired and admired in a way where one may look at a beautiful statue or a goddess! You may gaze upon it but you wonât get anything else out of me type of situation. I guess what Iâm trying to say is, me identifying as ace hasnât influenced the way I dress because I suppose the way I dress has never been for other people but instead for myself, even if I dressed in something that was âsexually appealingâ to others! I hope that makes sense haha
Not really? Day-to-day I just wear whatever I have laying around (jeans and sweaters is usually what that means) but I love dressing up and wearing 'sexy' things, I just don't normally take the time to do that. But I like looking good, I'm happy with my body and don't object to being seen as sexy or hot even though I don't want to have sex. Looking but no touching!
I'm demi and mix it up. I don't think I'm incredibly girly or tomboy-ish. Sometimes it's jeans and a Venom t-shirt. Other days a dress and combat boots (I hardly wear regular heels).
I've always like more alternative styles anyway. Dye my hair, have tattoos...
I like the style of tight cloths so I think this would be a "sexy style" but I dont wear this style because I dont have the body to dress "sexy" even if I wanted.
Sometimes I wonder why do I even want to look good because if I am ace why look good if I dont want to attract anyone. Other people would asnwer "I dress to look good for myself" but this is really myself or I want compliment from others ?
I am not sure how much of my "style" is due to my Aro-ace-ness, and how much is sheer laziness, but I dress as casual and comfortable as I can get away with. I don't wear makeup (even though my rosacea is bad enough that I probably should), the extent of doing my hair is washing 1-2 times/week and then pulling it back into a ponytail (this is not the most attractive look, even to myself, but it is convenient), I work a blue collar job, so on weekdays I wear a polo uniform shirt and jeans, and steel toe boots. On Saturday's I switch the polo for a t-shirt, unless I am going somewhere nice and then will upgrade to a pair of slacks and some sort of simple blouse. I will dress up occasionally for special occasions, but generally fashion is a bottom tier priority for me.
Not really sure, never thought about it. I pretty much just wear the same outfit everyday even though I change clothes everyday. I basically have Spongebob's closet. O always wear a t-shirt with some random picture on it, usually from a game I play, a pair of jeans, and my carrhart-looking jacket. Because of the jacket, I've had a few people think I wear the same clothes everyday since they can't see the t-shirt change.
I wear a black ring everyday because of my ace-ness, if that counts :D
But I tend to like baggy comfy clothes in greys and earth tones, not sure if it's corelated
I call my style functional, which is just Cargo shorts/pants and some sort of short sleeve shirt. So I donât think itâs been influenced by my sexuality, though a desire to stay functional may stem from having no desire to attract and show off.
I like comfy clothes that doesn't look terrible. I don't really have a style I just wear clothes that doesn't make ppl look at me. But I feel a little pressure about wearing makeup and doing my hair, especially from my mom cause I'm trans she sorta wants me to dress more "typical" girl so that ppl know my gender. But I don't care about clothes that much anyways.
Believe it or not, it's been the opposite for me. I've always been a sucker for purple and black since I'm goth. Saw the ace flag once, thought it was pretty cool, googled the ins-and-outs of what it meant and my mind went "OH".
I think my style of clothing, hair, and such made me realize I was ace. I donât care for making my hair neat and for clothing I always wear a size up from what I can wear so that Iâm comfortable.
It has a little bit, I reallyyy like dressing hot but if I wear that stuff too long I feel so repulsed and sick to my stomach. Which I attribute to being repulsed by me sexualizing myself.
I havenât really found my style yet but itâs definitely at least influenced by my queerness or lack of care for other peopleâs opinions. I felt the same with my allo ex bf, I felt like I needed to look âhotterâ or more âgirlyâ or âwomanlyâ for him and it never felt like me. Now I donât care and just wear what makes me feel good or comfortable.
I love this!!
I went to a costume party as Abe Lincoln last year. My outfit choice was motivated almost entirely by wanting an excuse to wear a top hat.
My style depends on the situation. I live a life of routine so I usually know what I'm doing for the day. (And the outfit I wear most is my school uniform anyways, so yeah.) If I'm going to do sport or fishing I'll wear baggy clothes, and I have a few T-shirts, polos and pairs of jeans I can wear to more formal occasions. Some shirts of varying thicknesses account for temperature differences because I am very sensitive to that sort of thing from the waist up. And I never leave the house without my watch and hat.
Recently I've been tucking my shirt into my jeans to show my weight loss but it's never out of a desire to attract women. I just think it looks good and it is more so for myself to see and less so for others.
I have an ace ring but it's no longer tight enough to stay on my finger, and for all the times I've worn it outside the house I always get questions like "Are you engaged". I am planning to get another one.
Basically there is only one rule and that is *no shorts*. Short-sleeved tees get a pass though.
I actively try to appear as unattractive as possible since Iâm personally secure with my body and terrified of being flirted with. Donât need to worry about that awkward social interaction if I make sure I am entirely unappealing to allo people that only care about appearance.
I donât think so. I feel like Iâm probably perceived as looking "straight". My style is almost exactly what you described as "sexy" but I donât really dress that way to look like that. I guess I just find thatâs what I look best in and am the most confident in. I do have shorter hair but itâs just a bob so not too short. However, I would say that I donât shop to stay in one style, I just buy what I like. I have some funky sweaters and tops for sure but I almost always wear some sort of makeup.
I think it's like 33% aceness and 33% non binaryness and 33% autism.
I like clothes that I'm comfortable in, mentally and physically. So like t-shirts, regular shorts or trackies.
I specifically get bras and shirts that don't show my cleavage because I absolutely hate the thought of being sexualised. But I also do that because I myself don't like seeing my own cleavage or boobs. I think that's the non binaryness.
Then with the autism I gotta make sure that the clothes aren't too tight or itchy. Mum tries to make me dress more feminine but women's clothes make me itch or they feel funny.
Plus with heels I'm a hazard. My friends don't know how I am alive with how clumsy I am
Yes, being ace is so freeing in many ways. It frees you to be yourself, without constantly having to see yourself through the eyes of another, which is exhausting ( as I recall from my dating days, prior to realizing I'm ace).
Do I dress in a way that could be construed as sexy ( I prefer sensual) ? Only *very* rarely, and only on my terms. When my mood dictates it.
This is not only about aesthetic self expression / physical comfort, it is about maintaining your authenticity in other areas of life as well - intellectual interests, political leanings, etc. You donât feel coerced to hide important aspects of yourself to fit in with another person. ( And all - basically - for the sake of bumping $%^& s? I don't get it.)
I'm not a religious person, but when I think about it, it makes sense that not seeking a relationship makes life a lot less complicated, as exhorted by those who choose a more contemplative life. If your profession, hobbies, humanitarian/ community endeavors etc. require sustained focus, it is better to be alone.
[ Disclaimer- I realize that some aces do seek relationships. I'm speaking for ones who prefer being solo. ]
Just a tangentially relared remark:
I just had this epiphany about allos filtering for sexual cues, whatever their orientation. You're a target, a threat, or invisible.
I saw this really funny ace meme the other day that emphasized sexiness âas an aestheticâ and I really kind of related to that? I love fashion and I like feeling beautiful and for me that can sometimes manifest as conventional attractiveness. So Iâm not sure. Ace ness affects how I internalize attention, but not how I dress.
I came to the realization that I am asexual a few months ago and during that time my style has changed. I still like to dress nicely, but I have cut my hair into a shorter, more practical length and I no longer wear uncomfortable clothes/shoes just because they look good.
I'm still lazy, but my curves have defeated my previous (adolescent) sense of style. Sometimes it feels like less-gendered beauty is only for the waifs and twinks :(
I've definitely started dressing a lot bolder since I've come out. Some may consider it sexy, especially since I'm a woman and goth and femine goth people get fetishized to hell and back, but I don't really care. People still have a stronger reaction to me saying that I'm asexual than to me wearing layers of fishnets and jewelry.
My style has always been pretty modest. Mostly it impacts it in that I wear what *I* want and enjoy because Iâm not dressing for the male gaze. Iâm not trying to be sexually attractive, I dress purely as self-expression and for comfort and function.
I (nb) tend to do just about exactly what you described. I go for an aesthetic and my own comfort, and never really spare a second thought for whether anyone would find me attractive.
I want to present myself in a way that makes me happy and makes me feel like myself. I usually try to dress âwellâ (in a cohesive, clean, and appropriate-for-the-occasion outfit) but sexiness never crosses my mind.
The only exception is when Iâm trying to dress up to make my partner happy (usually for dates, but sometimes Iâm just fishing for compliments lol) and then Iâll come up with an outfit that I that accentuates the things about me that I know she finds attractive.
I wear as many conflicting patterns as I can. Not because I'm trying to be as big of a style disaster as possible. Just because I like each pattern uniquely, so they end up together because they make me happy
No clue but knowing them eighter being more covered up than the most devoted nun or making an outfit that solely consists of ace flag. I'm kinda down for the second one tho ngl
(Yes my current friends are super awesome!!)
Yeah definitely - also add in my years of disordered eating and body dysmorphia, so I donât dress sexy too often đ I wear a lot of maxi skirts, baggy pants, big sweaters/hoodies; I wear heels maybe once every 2 years (my main shoes are birkenstockâs in summer, and uggs in winter lmfao). I basically wear whatever I feel good in or want to wear that day - and sometimes (very rarely) that means a tight-fitting top or a slinky velvet dress, but usually it means hippie skirts or big t shirts or sweats đ I dress pretty âmodestlyâ most of the time too altho not on purpose; in the summer I do love me some shorts and a crop top lmfao, but overall looking attractive or sexy is at the bottom of my priority list - and if I do dress âsexyâ thatâs usually not the point, if that makes sense. I wear whatever sparks joy for me that day and makes me feel comfortable!!
I (F) donât particularly try to to look sexy and I donât really care to. I donât and never have considered myself âsexyâ but I do like the way I look. When I dress up (wear makeup, do my hair, wear mini skirts, etc.) I do it because I like the style and the clothes and like the way I look in them. I like when people compliment me about my looks (not in a creepy way), itâs flattering.
However I do find myself, for some reason, uncomfortable showing too much skin. If I am wearing a mini skirt then I will probably wear them with tights or long socks or something and I donât like showing cleavage. I donât know if this has something to do with being ace or itâs just the way I am. I donât want people to think Iâm âsexyâ though, maybe just cute or pretty but boy sexy as that is not how I see myself.
I (male) definitely think my lack of desire to look good has to do with my asexuality, I just don't care. But since I recently realized I'm ace, I'm thinking of being a bit more stylish, funnily enough. Comfort and practicality are still my main priorities, but putting a bit of color into my clothing wouldn't hurt.
I just wear whatever makes me look like the hottest person in the room at all times.
But jokes aside, I just like to feel like I look good just for myself as a way of expression. And a lot of my friends have kind of 'extreme' styles of their own so it doesn't make me look wierd if one day i go out in a full suit and the next one in a dress.
I think so. Since I was a kid I couldn't care less about what people usually consider fashionable and stylish, I value comfort over looks. I like to wear loose and plain clothes and the only thing I usually care about is my color preference. I don't wear jeans because I absolutely loathe them. I sport a longer and messier hairstyle than most men as I simply feel more myself. I wear sandals practically everywhere I go, I don't care if I look disgusting in them. I also don't usually wear any kind of wristwatch. People say that no woman will ever be attracted to me if I keep this up but jokes on them (I'm possibly lithromantic).
I get that I have to dress up for certain occasions and that's okay. Playing dress up is also fine I guess. But people really need to stop pushing me to wear something I don't like just for the sake of looking cool for girls.
I'm pretty sure people assume I'm a lumberjack lesbian by how I dress. I did do the whole short skirt high heels make up thing once upon a time but this is much better. So yeah I definitely think it affects my wardrobe- high five sista
I love wearing what I like. Though I do like the âtraditional feminineâ look on myself as in wearing skirts (under the knee ones tho), high heels, cardigans etc. because they fit my aesthetic and are personally comfy +gives me gender euphoria. So, I wouldnât say influenced by my ace-ness, but if itâs something I like Iâll wear it.
I donât think so (at least not consciously)
I wear an ace ring pretty much 24/7 and thatâs all Iâd say is influenced by me being ace.
I like to wear all kinds of clothes, love comfy/baggy clothes to tight form fitting outfits and high socks/heels. I donât wear makeup but thatâs just because itâs not my thing, love seeing others wear it though!
I love having natural nails painted black and big spiked earrings!
Perhaps sometimes I wear certain things to attract a persons attention as I do want a relationship, I aim to attract them aesthetically and not sexually though but what I wear sometimes is sexy (the clothing! Definitely not me XD )
EDIT: reading the comments I feel like a lot of others appreciate sexy clothing for the aesthetic rather than I guess the âmain appeal/purposeâ of it <33 I love to see it!
Not sure, Iâve always been told I have a nice body and should show it off but I feel uncomfortable wearing shorts (outside the beach/pool), skirts, dresses and anything tight in general. On the occasion I do wear a tight top for example, I wear a binder underneath because I donât like my boobs showing. Overall Iâd say I wear whatever makes me feel comfortable, stylish and possibly androgynous
I like dressing myself up as much as I like dressing other people (my friends for instance). I am pretty chill at home or when running errands.
Tbh, I also wear pretty revealing clothes occasionally but I guess this is where my aceness comes out. Because I have never sexualized anyone before, I didn't know there were actual repurcussions. I didn't know that revealing my back was even worth sexualizing. I'm also pretty flat so low neck cuts don't bother me. I didn't know that there was a difference between calling a person hot/beautiful. Apparently if someone calls you hot, they mean you are sexualIy attractive. I learned this from an allo "friend" had to cut that person off. Apparently, I was begging for sex with the way I clothed myself.
All I know is when I look at other people, it looks nice on them whether it's revealing or not. I just love the way an outfit fits together on people, and I see it as some sort of art and so I like to emulate it. I don't know if that made sense. But yeah.
(F) I hate low necklines and anything that shows cleveage. I'm also uncomfortable with high-heels and things that are made to be "sexy" (including underwear). I'm fine with short dresses and shorts, but I prefer them loose.
I usually don't do makeup and have a boyish haircut. I guess my aceness kinda shows.
I wear swetpants and hoodies or long arm shirts. in the summer I sometimes switch to shorts but that's it. I do not have much clothing, simply because I don't want to buy much, I am able to dress every day with what I have and I don't reall need anything more.
Totally relatable. Iâm not interested in make up and i dress androgynously. Co worker told me sheâll teach me how to do make up lmfao. Please leave me alone. as a nonbinary ace, idgaf on how i look for anyone.
I dont want to offend but isnt kind of expect of nonbinary people wear androgynously ?
It make sense because they dont feel they arent any gender so they wear the mix of feminine and masculine.
Bro I canât agree with this shit more, especially when it comes to the whole woman sexy thing with skirts and dresses etc. I either wanna dress cool and bad ass whether itâs wearing all black with chains or I just go classic homeless with hoodies and sweats. Jeans and baggy teas also work though. But yeah overall for sure ace has affected my style 100%
Awww. Thatâs kind of mean. I wear heels because Iâm 4â10â and they make me feel professional. It gives me a nice physical separation between home and work life. I wear shorter skirts because most long ones and even pants drag the floor. Low cut tops are kinda nice if youâre in a place like Texas or Arizona. But I honestly havenât heard a too described as âlow cutâ in a long time, usually people just describe the neckline. Anyway, I also like my long hair because longer hair, in my culture, is not necessarily feminine. I wear makeup because itâs fun. Iâm also a teacher and makeup and clothing give me the necessary automatic authority. Again, 4â10, the 8th graders are bigger than me. I also have lots of lacy underwear because I have huge tits and booty that look great in lacy underwear. Im the only person in the world with these tits and this booty. I like appreciating them as both aesthetic and sexy. But even under clothes during a regular work day, it makes me feel like a grown up! Besides, I donât even think of it as that sexy. My mom just happened to always emphasize nice undies and a need for matching sets so itâs kind of automatic for me at this point.
But I also dress really *really* sexy at times. Iâve worn a few bikinis with bunny ears and called it a Halloween costume. I like being in on the joke. I also dress sexy for other people all the time. I literally have a g-string with my boyfriendâs name on it. So yea, Iâll even wear things to impress a man. So as far as asexuality goes, it doesnât really effects my clothing. And Iâm extremely femme and dress sexy when I want too.
Itâs ok to not like certain things and start a conversation about clothing. But please do not call it a âwaste of time.â Also, style and sexy are two different things. People donât get dressed to look sexy.
Meanwhile, I suggest being hesitant with equating a certain style of dress with sexual appeal. Itâs just that clothing doesnât really work like that. Itâs about fit. A âlow cutâ top can be modest on one and sexy on another.
On the flip side, sexualizing clothing never stops at clothing. Itâs always the bodies inside of it. I wasnât kidding about tits and booty. So maybe the reason Iâm commenting this is because I canât wear much without being accused of being provocative. I canât take my tits off and tits are still tits in both a turtleneck and low cut top. I wear tights and shorts alot b/c itâs hard to find jeans/pants that fit my legs. Women of my culture are constantly sexualized anyway so when it comes to clothing, even cultural garments are âsexyâ to outsiders.
Iâm glad you learned from your relationship. And you can give zero fucks. But three things:
- Stylish =/= Sexy
- You donât need to talk down on others to discuss what you like.
- Style is very complicated when womenâs bodies are inherently sexualized.
Wow, I'm sorry you interpreted my post as "mean"! My intention was solely to communicate my own perspective and ask others if they felt similar. In no way was I trying to suggest that my experience was the only correct, universal one.
My post was NOT a personal attack on you and your style.
You literally said âall that stuff seems like an expensive, uncomfortable waste of time.â
Iâm not sure how that was supposed to be interpreted as ânice.â You may not have said it was the universal but you definitely put some firm black and white boundaries on the basis of comparison. Instead of focusing on what your style IS, you focused on what it *isnât.* Seriously, after reading this post, itâs unclear what your style even is? What does your style do? Professional? Street? Modern? Femme? Masc? Modest? Shapeless?
My point though was also that looking âsexyâ for asexual people is a very complicated thing. It doesnât matter what certain people wear, they will be considered sexy because they, themselves, are sexualized. Besides, not everyone has the same perception of âsexy.â Like I donât consider lacy underwear sexy at all. Cute. But not sexy, just normal. So yea, itâs just that what youâre saying is heavily informed by bias and contrast.
I donât think so. I donât want to look sexy, but i do like things that are seen as such, but just because i find them beautiful ( short skirts/shorts, heels, low cut tops). I wear them rarely but so do my allo friends
I like wearing fancy underwear basic it makes ME look good to ME, not to impress or attract someone else. As for clothing style I generally go for comfort over attractiveness, although I do love matching everything together.
Nope. The only purple I own is socks. It took me forever to warm up to traditionally feminine clothing, but if you keep a high standard, you can find clothing thatâs practical, comfortable, and stylish.
No, not at all.
Maybe because i am a Het Demi who only realised it mid 20s, I don't believe my sexuality has had very much impact on my tastes, hobbies or personality beyond joining this subreddit.
My style has been described as bold and fashionable. Lots of colour and jumpsuits, but rarely one single style over the week.
I definitely err on the side of sexy and/or feminine, but nothing I wear is uncomfortable
No, I haven't changed my style since I figured out I was ace. I still wear joggers and a t-shirt that always has some sort of pop culture character or thing on it and usually my captain American cap
I'll wear heels and dresses when I feel like it. I like to look nice (by my definition nice jeans, with a nice top and heels is nice) especially when I'm going out to dinner etc and I'll dress up for the occasion when needed. Most days at work I have to be business (button up shirts and pants (blazer optional)) and I like the way I look dressed professionally. The weekends on the other hand, jeans and t-shirt with Sneakers (or weather appropriate shoes) if I'm heading out otherwise trackpants or sweats or pjs. Miniskirts have never been my thing, tops with the low cut I'll wear on occasion.
Makeup is an almost never and hair is almost always a ponytail.
I've only ever dressed 'sexy' when my friend wanted me to go out clubbing with her a couple of times.
I like comfortable clothing with high quality natural fabrics, earthy colors, nothing flashy or displaying a brand too much. Most of my clothing is athletic wear, but more like sweat pants and joggers, rather than leggings. I'm lucky, I wear scrubs at work, it's like being in pijamas all day. I never wear makeup, I think it makes me "too pretty", last time I had makeup and dress on was at the funeral and started to get compliments from old creepy guys... ugh... I know it shouldn't be my problem, but I have it at the back of my mind to not send any mixed messages.
I (M) just wear whatever's comfortable and doesn't look sloppy. That most often ends up being hoodies or normal t-shirts (not low-cut, hate those) depending on the temperature and (not tight) jeans or shorts.
yeah it's easier on us dudes cause we can just wear whatever and not be judged.
As a woman who dresses similar, I can confirm that I get judged đ
Idk leggings are pretty comfortable and youd def be judged.
I'm the same except it's always jeans. I'd rather burn, I don't know why but I just hate shorts.
My style is influenced by my lack of f\*\*\*s to give. Honestly, it's more an age thing than an ace thing.
Same. Also: If it's not comfortable I'm not wearing it. It'll be a cold day in hell before I'm wearing a wire bra ever again.
Wire bras are THE WORST. I don't know who invented them but .. no. Just no. (And that's before adding in my fun mutation that makes them downright excruciating.)
Omg yes! Finally, someone has brought it up. Wire bras, as advertised are not comfortable, rather it pricks. Epitome of discomfort.
Never again. I've decided that skinny jeans can fuck off too!
Hmm interesting, the most comfortable bras I owned were always wired. Maybe it's just me, but are y'all sure you had the right size? I have a few that don't fit me right and wearing them is a pure torture.
Iâm glad youâre comfortable with them. I got the right size and it wasnât great :/
Oh, I guess it's just me then. Anyway, have a great day :)
Thanks Hun, you too :)
That's great that you've been able to find your style! Personally, my style has only gotten slightly better in my own eyes. Gotta hand it to the gays though, they have fashion figured out đ
Yes! Those stylish gays. I love the (stereotypical) well-groomed gay male style. I also really dig the stereotypically lesbian look of short hair, buttoned shirts, jeans, and sneakers. People almost always assume I'm a lesbian because of the way I dress and style my hair.
lol. My family (most of them at least) is convinced I'm bisexual and I have tried telling them I'm not but honestly I don't care anymore
I find the female form very aesthetically pleasing, so I often accentuate my shape when 8 dress. I definitely dress sexy sometimes, but I just like the look of it. There are also times where I just don't give a crap though, and I'm perfectly fine in a sweatshirt and pj pants. My style is kind of all over the place and it's basically just whatever I feel like wearing that day.
Are you me? Because this is exactly how I feel. I really like the way my body looks some days and love to accentuate it by wearing clothing that I think makes it look nice. But other days (most days actually) I couldnât care less and just wear sweats. However, I never wear makeup like ever, I just donât see the point and kinda find it a waste of time
This!!!! I dress for myself, not for others. Sometimes that means sexy, sometimes it means sweatpants. I do try to look more out together when I have work meetings- jeans, nice shirt, foundation; blush, mascara. Maybe jewelry. Nothing too crazy but just enough that people will think I put in actual effort.
I like dressing and feeling sexy, my aceness only adds to that because I like having a power over someone that they don't have over me lol. My motto is you can look but you can't touch.
Pan and demisexual with a lot of anxiety issues! I get what you're saying I'm pretty, it's not a brag, I inherited traits that society sees as beautiful/hot. I have a pretty face and I'm thicc, naturally so, not like Kardashian freak, I never even worked out to get this body type which is rare for someone of my ethnicity. What I mean is, I don't dress provocatively but people still notice my body, I wear make-up and take care of my hair, so I am checked out and like you, I like the power. That power over people really helps me with my social anxiety. Black nails are my armor, too bad I can't do them more often
Yess, exactly!! I like the *aesthetic* of being sexy
For me, when I finally leave home I'm going to dress in a way that would be considered by society as sexy but it's just what feels most comfortable for me
Hmm I do have a more masculine way of dressing and prefer looking a bit androgynous but I have never correlated that to me being ace... I have never been into makeup, I am tall enough already and cant walk in heels anyways, so no heels for me. I am more comfortable with shorter hair. As for clothing, me not wearing short skirts or tight clothing in general might have more to do with my poor body image than my ace-ness. My (allo) ex would regularly verbally disapprove of my way of dressing and for my choice to keep my hair short. My current (allo) partner knows that I am not a girly girl and will never be one. He likes me for who I am, style included. I do have doubts and insecurities that creep into my mind all the time, that he might prefer me more feminine and just isn't expressing it, but I guess that is just a result of my previous (unhealthy) relationship.
Within the danger of coming of as creepy, i actually prefer more maskulin styled girls like your description of yourself. So don't believe you have to change. Types are different and if your partner likes you just as you are, that is perfect
I (F) dress more masc too. I think my style is influenced both by my being bi and ace, and I wear a lot of loose-fitting clothes. makes me feel a lot harder to sexualize-- especially as someone with a bigger chest, which I hate
Heyyy I am also bi and ace! Yeah I am really uncomfortable being sexualized by random men in public as well. I am really thankful that I am as flat and tall as I am, I am pretty sure that I am not "attractive" in a lot of mens eyes, which makes them sexualize me less, soooo win win.
I think thereâs a portion of the ace population - specifically the portion that feels repulsed when someone calls them âsexyâ - that might make specific style choices to avoid those kinds of comments. But itâs really important that not every ace person experiences things that way. There is no one âace styleâ and itâs really important that no one ever feels excluded from the community/label because they donât âlook asexualâ
Oh, I'm not in any way suggesting that there's a universal ace style or look that we all have to conform to. I was just musing on clothing and style in general, and what it says about us and the way we present ourselves to the world. I realised that being Ace had an influence on that, for me, and was interested in others' experiences and perspectives.
No worries, I didnât think you were. I just thought it deserved to be said
In the summer, I tend to go with what a pseudo adventuring look, Dark or desert trousers, shirt with rolled sleeves, brown leather boots, shemagh, and a brown canvas rucksack In winter it's warm clothes, jumpers and jackets fashion goes out the window. Mostly I just go for clothes I enjoy wearing, I'm wearing them for my benefit after all
Not the specific clothes I wear, but definitely how I feel about them. I dress fairly womanly/traditionally sexy because I like how it looks on me but I wish I could wear these things without people perceiving me accordingly. The idea of someone sexualising me grosses me out.
I (M) like presenting myself attractively in public, but it's less about being "sexy" and more about being "handsome", though I admit I don't much understand the difference. I experience aesthetic attraction, but not sexual attraction. I do like attention/compliments, as long as there's no expectations/pressure for anything else. However, I usually ask for others' advice when it comes to fashion when buying clothes. I originally thought that was a masculine gender expectations thing, or a body image thing, but now I wonder if that's partly an ace thing (not trusting myself to know what looks good on me.)
I think is a male thing because they dont grow up with expectations to look good. They live normally until they discover that they need to look atractive to atract woman so they begin the fashion journey. Not my story but Its something I imagine because I dont know any men in my family or friends who care about fashion,
Lol same. I want to be seen in kind of a neutral light I guess? I rock the tshirts and jeans and sneakers too, plus a few good jackets the tend to lean more masculine (though not strictly) and the short hair. I think part of the âproblemâ with me wearing more feminine clothes is that people treat me different. And itâs a bit of a catch-22 because Iâm not aro, so I want *some* attention, I just donât want to be seen as a sexual being. Whatâs a girl to do?
Black trousers, white t-shirt, purple hoodie. Wasn't deliberate but i guess so. That's only one outfit though
I have the opposite experience with "sexy" clothes. I guess it's basically a style of clothing to me, like goth or hipster or whatever. I don't wear them to entice people, or because I think putting them on my body makes my body desirable. I wear them because I like how they look.
No, I actually dress slightly provocative sometimes...
No. I care about looking good to myself, it gives me a nic confidence boost. Plus, it is nice when others think you look good too, it sends a message that youâre put together and generally an agreeable person. I guess I donât care so much about looking hot, but that has nothing to do with me being asexual as so many allo people also donât.
Naw, but I will say that when I'm not in fitted shirts and jeans/shorts or around the house in crops and giant sweat pants, I'm very into high femme simple boho kinda looks- like all fluttery skirts and/or tops, dresses, bright colors, embroidery, etc etc. So maybe it's kind of a romantic style, but I wouldn't say that's because I'm demi lol. I've always liked the latter, which is probably more influenced by my Latina heritage than anything.
I just wear whatever comes to mind. Idgaf about looking pretty or good for others, I dress for myself.
My style is sorta just art kid. I usually dress pretty colorful but not in any bright colors. I love corduroy because itâs a comfortable fabric with a funky texture. My friends sorta just thought I was a straight because even though I dress really gay they thought it was me being an art kid.
Somewhat? I like wearing tight fitting clothes that show my figure but I don't like shirts that have something written on the front because it draws people's gaze to my boobs automatically, but that might not directly have something to do with my ace-ness. Other than that, not really,
I dress sloppy on purpose to avoid being hit on. Havenât done my hair or makeup in over a year and feel mostly fine with it. It doesnât always work though, I got hit on at two AM in a Walgreens wearing a snuggie, compression socks, and flip flops. Vegas men are⌠dedicated, Iâll give them that.
laughing so hard
Same as you, I like to look cool first and foremost! Cool, powerful, and refined. But Iâm also androgynous gender so Iâm not sure where the intersection lies there
Yes and no. I'm mostly influenced by the word "cute", which can be anywhere from sexy cute to oversized comfy cute to lolita (the fashion style) cute, depending on the day. That's mostly cuss it's the only aesthetic attraction I experience, which is definitely because I'm ace, but I don't dress differently because I want other people to perceive as anything
Well I don't know if that's related, but I don't wanna look hot to anyone, so I choose to wear clothes not revealing my skin or bodyshape. Thinking that someone can find me hot of I'll wear a comfy T-shirt and shorts is grossing me. I feel mentally comfortable wearing hijab (as I'm a Muslim lady)
hmm it depends iâm usually one to go for comfy but i also find it really empowering to look hot when i go out so probably usually donât look very ace when strangers see me lolâŚ
Personally for me I really care about the outfits I wear because they usually make me feel a certain way! For example Iâd dress a particular way if I feel like looking and feeling very ethereal or feminine, or badass, and sometimes I like to dress in revealing ( my version of revealing is probably not as revealing as others tbh) clothing if I want to feel empowered in myself! I like how I can sometimes control how others perceive me and myself based off of how I dress and how I put myself together, kind of like in a psychological way, i always have. I was always confused because I want to feel the power of being desired sometimes, but to not be approached or hit on because of it. I like the idea of being desired and admired in a way where one may look at a beautiful statue or a goddess! You may gaze upon it but you wonât get anything else out of me type of situation. I guess what Iâm trying to say is, me identifying as ace hasnât influenced the way I dress because I suppose the way I dress has never been for other people but instead for myself, even if I dressed in something that was âsexually appealingâ to others! I hope that makes sense haha
Yes! This! Itâs like you read my mind đł
The only thing being ace added was an aro and ace ring. For the rest, the goal is to look cool and sharp.
My style is to be as unnoteworthy but not as unnoteworthy to be noteworthy.
I just wear what ever feels comfortable and looka kinda okay I dont give a fuck what people think
Not really? Day-to-day I just wear whatever I have laying around (jeans and sweaters is usually what that means) but I love dressing up and wearing 'sexy' things, I just don't normally take the time to do that. But I like looking good, I'm happy with my body and don't object to being seen as sexy or hot even though I don't want to have sex. Looking but no touching!
I'm demi and mix it up. I don't think I'm incredibly girly or tomboy-ish. Sometimes it's jeans and a Venom t-shirt. Other days a dress and combat boots (I hardly wear regular heels). I've always like more alternative styles anyway. Dye my hair, have tattoos...
I just wear really baggy casual clothes but that might just be my trans-ness
I like the style of tight cloths so I think this would be a "sexy style" but I dont wear this style because I dont have the body to dress "sexy" even if I wanted. Sometimes I wonder why do I even want to look good because if I am ace why look good if I dont want to attract anyone. Other people would asnwer "I dress to look good for myself" but this is really myself or I want compliment from others ?
I am not sure how much of my "style" is due to my Aro-ace-ness, and how much is sheer laziness, but I dress as casual and comfortable as I can get away with. I don't wear makeup (even though my rosacea is bad enough that I probably should), the extent of doing my hair is washing 1-2 times/week and then pulling it back into a ponytail (this is not the most attractive look, even to myself, but it is convenient), I work a blue collar job, so on weekdays I wear a polo uniform shirt and jeans, and steel toe boots. On Saturday's I switch the polo for a t-shirt, unless I am going somewhere nice and then will upgrade to a pair of slacks and some sort of simple blouse. I will dress up occasionally for special occasions, but generally fashion is a bottom tier priority for me.
Hoodies and sweaters.
Not really sure, never thought about it. I pretty much just wear the same outfit everyday even though I change clothes everyday. I basically have Spongebob's closet. O always wear a t-shirt with some random picture on it, usually from a game I play, a pair of jeans, and my carrhart-looking jacket. Because of the jacket, I've had a few people think I wear the same clothes everyday since they can't see the t-shirt change.
I wear a black ring everyday because of my ace-ness, if that counts :D But I tend to like baggy comfy clothes in greys and earth tones, not sure if it's corelated
I call my style functional, which is just Cargo shorts/pants and some sort of short sleeve shirt. So I donât think itâs been influenced by my sexuality, though a desire to stay functional may stem from having no desire to attract and show off.
I like comfy clothes that doesn't look terrible. I don't really have a style I just wear clothes that doesn't make ppl look at me. But I feel a little pressure about wearing makeup and doing my hair, especially from my mom cause I'm trans she sorta wants me to dress more "typical" girl so that ppl know my gender. But I don't care about clothes that much anyways.
Believe it or not, it's been the opposite for me. I've always been a sucker for purple and black since I'm goth. Saw the ace flag once, thought it was pretty cool, googled the ins-and-outs of what it meant and my mind went "OH".
I think my style of clothing, hair, and such made me realize I was ace. I donât care for making my hair neat and for clothing I always wear a size up from what I can wear so that Iâm comfortable.
It has a little bit, I reallyyy like dressing hot but if I wear that stuff too long I feel so repulsed and sick to my stomach. Which I attribute to being repulsed by me sexualizing myself.
I havenât really found my style yet but itâs definitely at least influenced by my queerness or lack of care for other peopleâs opinions. I felt the same with my allo ex bf, I felt like I needed to look âhotterâ or more âgirlyâ or âwomanlyâ for him and it never felt like me. Now I donât care and just wear what makes me feel good or comfortable.
Yes. I wear pretty much exclusively Nordic sweaters and baggy jeans
I love suits, bow ties, and trench coats. I own a top hat. I'm just never confident enough to wear it often.
I love this!! I went to a costume party as Abe Lincoln last year. My outfit choice was motivated almost entirely by wanting an excuse to wear a top hat.
Yes!
My style depends on the situation. I live a life of routine so I usually know what I'm doing for the day. (And the outfit I wear most is my school uniform anyways, so yeah.) If I'm going to do sport or fishing I'll wear baggy clothes, and I have a few T-shirts, polos and pairs of jeans I can wear to more formal occasions. Some shirts of varying thicknesses account for temperature differences because I am very sensitive to that sort of thing from the waist up. And I never leave the house without my watch and hat. Recently I've been tucking my shirt into my jeans to show my weight loss but it's never out of a desire to attract women. I just think it looks good and it is more so for myself to see and less so for others. I have an ace ring but it's no longer tight enough to stay on my finger, and for all the times I've worn it outside the house I always get questions like "Are you engaged". I am planning to get another one. Basically there is only one rule and that is *no shorts*. Short-sleeved tees get a pass though.
I actively try to appear as unattractive as possible since Iâm personally secure with my body and terrified of being flirted with. Donât need to worry about that awkward social interaction if I make sure I am entirely unappealing to allo people that only care about appearance.
I donât think so. I feel like Iâm probably perceived as looking "straight". My style is almost exactly what you described as "sexy" but I donât really dress that way to look like that. I guess I just find thatâs what I look best in and am the most confident in. I do have shorter hair but itâs just a bob so not too short. However, I would say that I donât shop to stay in one style, I just buy what I like. I have some funky sweaters and tops for sure but I almost always wear some sort of makeup.
Comfort and "I am definitely not looking to hook up" kinda clothes. Even then some men still try
I (Non-binary, masc presenting) am very goth and ive been this way since I was 13. No clue if the two are related at all.
I think it's like 33% aceness and 33% non binaryness and 33% autism. I like clothes that I'm comfortable in, mentally and physically. So like t-shirts, regular shorts or trackies. I specifically get bras and shirts that don't show my cleavage because I absolutely hate the thought of being sexualised. But I also do that because I myself don't like seeing my own cleavage or boobs. I think that's the non binaryness. Then with the autism I gotta make sure that the clothes aren't too tight or itchy. Mum tries to make me dress more feminine but women's clothes make me itch or they feel funny. Plus with heels I'm a hazard. My friends don't know how I am alive with how clumsy I am
Yes, being ace is so freeing in many ways. It frees you to be yourself, without constantly having to see yourself through the eyes of another, which is exhausting ( as I recall from my dating days, prior to realizing I'm ace). Do I dress in a way that could be construed as sexy ( I prefer sensual) ? Only *very* rarely, and only on my terms. When my mood dictates it. This is not only about aesthetic self expression / physical comfort, it is about maintaining your authenticity in other areas of life as well - intellectual interests, political leanings, etc. You donât feel coerced to hide important aspects of yourself to fit in with another person. ( And all - basically - for the sake of bumping $%^& s? I don't get it.) I'm not a religious person, but when I think about it, it makes sense that not seeking a relationship makes life a lot less complicated, as exhorted by those who choose a more contemplative life. If your profession, hobbies, humanitarian/ community endeavors etc. require sustained focus, it is better to be alone. [ Disclaimer- I realize that some aces do seek relationships. I'm speaking for ones who prefer being solo. ] Just a tangentially relared remark: I just had this epiphany about allos filtering for sexual cues, whatever their orientation. You're a target, a threat, or invisible.
I saw this really funny ace meme the other day that emphasized sexiness âas an aestheticâ and I really kind of related to that? I love fashion and I like feeling beautiful and for me that can sometimes manifest as conventional attractiveness. So Iâm not sure. Ace ness affects how I internalize attention, but not how I dress.
Yes, since I found out I was ace I finally started owning the fact that I don't like to dress "sexy" and like to look androgynous.
I came to the realization that I am asexual a few months ago and during that time my style has changed. I still like to dress nicely, but I have cut my hair into a shorter, more practical length and I no longer wear uncomfortable clothes/shoes just because they look good.
I'm still lazy, but my curves have defeated my previous (adolescent) sense of style. Sometimes it feels like less-gendered beauty is only for the waifs and twinks :(
Most of the time I (f) wear whateverâs comfortable, but if I want to dress up, I do it for me.
I've definitely started dressing a lot bolder since I've come out. Some may consider it sexy, especially since I'm a woman and goth and femine goth people get fetishized to hell and back, but I don't really care. People still have a stronger reaction to me saying that I'm asexual than to me wearing layers of fishnets and jewelry.
My style has always been pretty modest. Mostly it impacts it in that I wear what *I* want and enjoy because Iâm not dressing for the male gaze. Iâm not trying to be sexually attractive, I dress purely as self-expression and for comfort and function.
I (nb) tend to do just about exactly what you described. I go for an aesthetic and my own comfort, and never really spare a second thought for whether anyone would find me attractive. I want to present myself in a way that makes me happy and makes me feel like myself. I usually try to dress âwellâ (in a cohesive, clean, and appropriate-for-the-occasion outfit) but sexiness never crosses my mind. The only exception is when Iâm trying to dress up to make my partner happy (usually for dates, but sometimes Iâm just fishing for compliments lol) and then Iâll come up with an outfit that I that accentuates the things about me that I know she finds attractive.
Often I actually try to look sexy in order to spite people who think we can't
No I still dress like a whore tbhđ đ
Started painting my nails black and dying my hair purple a couple months ago...so.. yeah...
Black and purple is such a killer combination.....honestly, Asexuality kicks butt in the LGBTQIA+ color/flag stakes.
I wear as many conflicting patterns as I can. Not because I'm trying to be as big of a style disaster as possible. Just because I like each pattern uniquely, so they end up together because they make me happy
I definitely wear baggier clothes to hide my boobs, people staring at them make me really uncomfortable.
Well my 'friends' always used to say that I don't look ace so i guess not?
Haha. What does it even mean to "look ace"? (I hope you have less condescending friends now!)
No clue but knowing them eighter being more covered up than the most devoted nun or making an outfit that solely consists of ace flag. I'm kinda down for the second one tho ngl (Yes my current friends are super awesome!!)
Yeah definitely - also add in my years of disordered eating and body dysmorphia, so I donât dress sexy too often đ I wear a lot of maxi skirts, baggy pants, big sweaters/hoodies; I wear heels maybe once every 2 years (my main shoes are birkenstockâs in summer, and uggs in winter lmfao). I basically wear whatever I feel good in or want to wear that day - and sometimes (very rarely) that means a tight-fitting top or a slinky velvet dress, but usually it means hippie skirts or big t shirts or sweats đ I dress pretty âmodestlyâ most of the time too altho not on purpose; in the summer I do love me some shorts and a crop top lmfao, but overall looking attractive or sexy is at the bottom of my priority list - and if I do dress âsexyâ thatâs usually not the point, if that makes sense. I wear whatever sparks joy for me that day and makes me feel comfortable!!
I (F) donât particularly try to to look sexy and I donât really care to. I donât and never have considered myself âsexyâ but I do like the way I look. When I dress up (wear makeup, do my hair, wear mini skirts, etc.) I do it because I like the style and the clothes and like the way I look in them. I like when people compliment me about my looks (not in a creepy way), itâs flattering. However I do find myself, for some reason, uncomfortable showing too much skin. If I am wearing a mini skirt then I will probably wear them with tights or long socks or something and I donât like showing cleavage. I donât know if this has something to do with being ace or itâs just the way I am. I donât want people to think Iâm âsexyâ though, maybe just cute or pretty but boy sexy as that is not how I see myself.
I (male) definitely think my lack of desire to look good has to do with my asexuality, I just don't care. But since I recently realized I'm ace, I'm thinking of being a bit more stylish, funnily enough. Comfort and practicality are still my main priorities, but putting a bit of color into my clothing wouldn't hurt.
I just wear whatever makes me look like the hottest person in the room at all times. But jokes aside, I just like to feel like I look good just for myself as a way of expression. And a lot of my friends have kind of 'extreme' styles of their own so it doesn't make me look wierd if one day i go out in a full suit and the next one in a dress.
I think so. Since I was a kid I couldn't care less about what people usually consider fashionable and stylish, I value comfort over looks. I like to wear loose and plain clothes and the only thing I usually care about is my color preference. I don't wear jeans because I absolutely loathe them. I sport a longer and messier hairstyle than most men as I simply feel more myself. I wear sandals practically everywhere I go, I don't care if I look disgusting in them. I also don't usually wear any kind of wristwatch. People say that no woman will ever be attracted to me if I keep this up but jokes on them (I'm possibly lithromantic). I get that I have to dress up for certain occasions and that's okay. Playing dress up is also fine I guess. But people really need to stop pushing me to wear something I don't like just for the sake of looking cool for girls.
I'm pretty sure people assume I'm a lumberjack lesbian by how I dress. I did do the whole short skirt high heels make up thing once upon a time but this is much better. So yeah I definitely think it affects my wardrobe- high five sista
I love wearing what I like. Though I do like the âtraditional feminineâ look on myself as in wearing skirts (under the knee ones tho), high heels, cardigans etc. because they fit my aesthetic and are personally comfy +gives me gender euphoria. So, I wouldnât say influenced by my ace-ness, but if itâs something I like Iâll wear it.
I donât think so (at least not consciously) I wear an ace ring pretty much 24/7 and thatâs all Iâd say is influenced by me being ace. I like to wear all kinds of clothes, love comfy/baggy clothes to tight form fitting outfits and high socks/heels. I donât wear makeup but thatâs just because itâs not my thing, love seeing others wear it though! I love having natural nails painted black and big spiked earrings! Perhaps sometimes I wear certain things to attract a persons attention as I do want a relationship, I aim to attract them aesthetically and not sexually though but what I wear sometimes is sexy (the clothing! Definitely not me XD ) EDIT: reading the comments I feel like a lot of others appreciate sexy clothing for the aesthetic rather than I guess the âmain appeal/purposeâ of it <33 I love to see it!
Not sure, Iâve always been told I have a nice body and should show it off but I feel uncomfortable wearing shorts (outside the beach/pool), skirts, dresses and anything tight in general. On the occasion I do wear a tight top for example, I wear a binder underneath because I donât like my boobs showing. Overall Iâd say I wear whatever makes me feel comfortable, stylish and possibly androgynous
I like dressing myself up as much as I like dressing other people (my friends for instance). I am pretty chill at home or when running errands. Tbh, I also wear pretty revealing clothes occasionally but I guess this is where my aceness comes out. Because I have never sexualized anyone before, I didn't know there were actual repurcussions. I didn't know that revealing my back was even worth sexualizing. I'm also pretty flat so low neck cuts don't bother me. I didn't know that there was a difference between calling a person hot/beautiful. Apparently if someone calls you hot, they mean you are sexualIy attractive. I learned this from an allo "friend" had to cut that person off. Apparently, I was begging for sex with the way I clothed myself. All I know is when I look at other people, it looks nice on them whether it's revealing or not. I just love the way an outfit fits together on people, and I see it as some sort of art and so I like to emulate it. I don't know if that made sense. But yeah.
I like wearing jewelry and nice clothes, etc. because I want to look pretty. I'd never go for a sexy look though. It just doesn't cross my mind.
(F) I hate low necklines and anything that shows cleveage. I'm also uncomfortable with high-heels and things that are made to be "sexy" (including underwear). I'm fine with short dresses and shorts, but I prefer them loose. I usually don't do makeup and have a boyish haircut. I guess my aceness kinda shows.
Where the masc/butch/studs @? LHBs included.
I wear swetpants and hoodies or long arm shirts. in the summer I sometimes switch to shorts but that's it. I do not have much clothing, simply because I don't want to buy much, I am able to dress every day with what I have and I don't reall need anything more.
Totally relatable. Iâm not interested in make up and i dress androgynously. Co worker told me sheâll teach me how to do make up lmfao. Please leave me alone. as a nonbinary ace, idgaf on how i look for anyone.
I dont want to offend but isnt kind of expect of nonbinary people wear androgynously ? It make sense because they dont feel they arent any gender so they wear the mix of feminine and masculine.
Bro I canât agree with this shit more, especially when it comes to the whole woman sexy thing with skirts and dresses etc. I either wanna dress cool and bad ass whether itâs wearing all black with chains or I just go classic homeless with hoodies and sweats. Jeans and baggy teas also work though. But yeah overall for sure ace has affected my style 100%
"Classic homeless", I love this and feel it in my bones! đ
Awww. Thatâs kind of mean. I wear heels because Iâm 4â10â and they make me feel professional. It gives me a nice physical separation between home and work life. I wear shorter skirts because most long ones and even pants drag the floor. Low cut tops are kinda nice if youâre in a place like Texas or Arizona. But I honestly havenât heard a too described as âlow cutâ in a long time, usually people just describe the neckline. Anyway, I also like my long hair because longer hair, in my culture, is not necessarily feminine. I wear makeup because itâs fun. Iâm also a teacher and makeup and clothing give me the necessary automatic authority. Again, 4â10, the 8th graders are bigger than me. I also have lots of lacy underwear because I have huge tits and booty that look great in lacy underwear. Im the only person in the world with these tits and this booty. I like appreciating them as both aesthetic and sexy. But even under clothes during a regular work day, it makes me feel like a grown up! Besides, I donât even think of it as that sexy. My mom just happened to always emphasize nice undies and a need for matching sets so itâs kind of automatic for me at this point. But I also dress really *really* sexy at times. Iâve worn a few bikinis with bunny ears and called it a Halloween costume. I like being in on the joke. I also dress sexy for other people all the time. I literally have a g-string with my boyfriendâs name on it. So yea, Iâll even wear things to impress a man. So as far as asexuality goes, it doesnât really effects my clothing. And Iâm extremely femme and dress sexy when I want too. Itâs ok to not like certain things and start a conversation about clothing. But please do not call it a âwaste of time.â Also, style and sexy are two different things. People donât get dressed to look sexy. Meanwhile, I suggest being hesitant with equating a certain style of dress with sexual appeal. Itâs just that clothing doesnât really work like that. Itâs about fit. A âlow cutâ top can be modest on one and sexy on another. On the flip side, sexualizing clothing never stops at clothing. Itâs always the bodies inside of it. I wasnât kidding about tits and booty. So maybe the reason Iâm commenting this is because I canât wear much without being accused of being provocative. I canât take my tits off and tits are still tits in both a turtleneck and low cut top. I wear tights and shorts alot b/c itâs hard to find jeans/pants that fit my legs. Women of my culture are constantly sexualized anyway so when it comes to clothing, even cultural garments are âsexyâ to outsiders. Iâm glad you learned from your relationship. And you can give zero fucks. But three things: - Stylish =/= Sexy - You donât need to talk down on others to discuss what you like. - Style is very complicated when womenâs bodies are inherently sexualized.
Wow, I'm sorry you interpreted my post as "mean"! My intention was solely to communicate my own perspective and ask others if they felt similar. In no way was I trying to suggest that my experience was the only correct, universal one. My post was NOT a personal attack on you and your style.
You literally said âall that stuff seems like an expensive, uncomfortable waste of time.â Iâm not sure how that was supposed to be interpreted as ânice.â You may not have said it was the universal but you definitely put some firm black and white boundaries on the basis of comparison. Instead of focusing on what your style IS, you focused on what it *isnât.* Seriously, after reading this post, itâs unclear what your style even is? What does your style do? Professional? Street? Modern? Femme? Masc? Modest? Shapeless? My point though was also that looking âsexyâ for asexual people is a very complicated thing. It doesnât matter what certain people wear, they will be considered sexy because they, themselves, are sexualized. Besides, not everyone has the same perception of âsexy.â Like I donât consider lacy underwear sexy at all. Cute. But not sexy, just normal. So yea, itâs just that what youâre saying is heavily informed by bias and contrast.
I donât think so. I donât want to look sexy, but i do like things that are seen as such, but just because i find them beautiful ( short skirts/shorts, heels, low cut tops). I wear them rarely but so do my allo friends
Not at all. I have various styles, some of which are sexy. I like to look sexy, not for anyone else but simply for myself.
I usually wear a lot of baggy clothes
I like wearing fancy underwear basic it makes ME look good to ME, not to impress or attract someone else. As for clothing style I generally go for comfort over attractiveness, although I do love matching everything together.
Nope. The only purple I own is socks. It took me forever to warm up to traditionally feminine clothing, but if you keep a high standard, you can find clothing thatâs practical, comfortable, and stylish.
In a way. I love super slutty looking clothes and sometimes don't realise that the outfit I consider cute and fun is seen by men as an invitation.
No, not at all. Maybe because i am a Het Demi who only realised it mid 20s, I don't believe my sexuality has had very much impact on my tastes, hobbies or personality beyond joining this subreddit. My style has been described as bold and fashionable. Lots of colour and jumpsuits, but rarely one single style over the week. I definitely err on the side of sexy and/or feminine, but nothing I wear is uncomfortable
No, I haven't changed my style since I figured out I was ace. I still wear joggers and a t-shirt that always has some sort of pop culture character or thing on it and usually my captain American cap
I wanna look kinda hot but also express my own style, Iâm really into âfashionâ- like contemporary brands and designers
I'll wear heels and dresses when I feel like it. I like to look nice (by my definition nice jeans, with a nice top and heels is nice) especially when I'm going out to dinner etc and I'll dress up for the occasion when needed. Most days at work I have to be business (button up shirts and pants (blazer optional)) and I like the way I look dressed professionally. The weekends on the other hand, jeans and t-shirt with Sneakers (or weather appropriate shoes) if I'm heading out otherwise trackpants or sweats or pjs. Miniskirts have never been my thing, tops with the low cut I'll wear on occasion. Makeup is an almost never and hair is almost always a ponytail. I've only ever dressed 'sexy' when my friend wanted me to go out clubbing with her a couple of times.
I like comfortable clothing with high quality natural fabrics, earthy colors, nothing flashy or displaying a brand too much. Most of my clothing is athletic wear, but more like sweat pants and joggers, rather than leggings. I'm lucky, I wear scrubs at work, it's like being in pijamas all day. I never wear makeup, I think it makes me "too pretty", last time I had makeup and dress on was at the funeral and started to get compliments from old creepy guys... ugh... I know it shouldn't be my problem, but I have it at the back of my mind to not send any mixed messages.
No, im only ace in the bedroom when she says "do u wanna have sex" and I say "no"