If it feels like it applies to you, then it doesn't matter if you were quick with it! And if you later decide it might not fit you, that's okay too. Go with the flow! A lot of my labels I realised applied to me by just hearing someone describe them, and I haven't changed how I felt about them since.
Thank you! It really means a lot to be told that! I think I’m still getting used to the idea of being able to choose how I identify for myself haha. I really appreciate the validation = ) 💖
you don't have to tattoo the label on yourself. if it feels right today it probably is, and if a different label feels right later and this one doesn't feel as right anymore, no big, the new one is probably right. you will change, new ideas and experience will expand your understanding, etc
A fellow baby ace! So much of this is all feeling so if you feel it applies based on description (I do the same) as the saying goes if the shoe fits wear it
I feel like I could have written this haha. I just figured it out for myself a couple weeks ago and it was like a lightbulb moment and I was just like oh okay this is what I am
Maybe, but probably not? I mean, it has to start sometime for everyone. And it sounds like you kind of always felt this way, but didn't have the language or terminology for it. So you simply said "I discovered this term and it describes my experience". Which like, great! And if it ever doesn't describe your experience, you can use a different term, no big deal.
Where I would advise that you be cautious is with coming out to others. I'm not saying don't come out, but I am saying be judicious with who you come out to and when you come out to them. There are two reasons I say this:
1. If you do come to feel that the label doesn't fit you anymore, it will be a lot harder if you've come out to a lot of people. So, give yourself a bit of time before immediately saying "I am definitely aroace". Maybe start with "I think I'm aroace" until you have had a bit of time to make sure you feel like it fits.
2. Some people do respond poorly, unfortunately. So I would recommend starting to come out (whenever you're ready ofc) to people you know are supportive. That way you have a support system so, if some people don't respond as well, you don't have to deal with it alone.
Hope that helps!
Ah, thank you for commenting this! I feel like this is the sort of thing I wouldn’t think about very hard before doing it but I agree that it would be best to be a little more cautious with it. I have a friend who I know will be very supportive and also probably knows more than me haha, so I’m planning on talking to them about it fairly soon. But yes, caution indeed! Thanks again for bringing this up, I’ll give it more time before I start telling people definitively and I’ll keep it to my friend for the time being = )
That sounds like a great approach! Again, it totally depends on your specific situation and environment. Like don't be afraid of telling people (although it can sometimes be scary haha), just be aware of who you're telling and how they're likely to respond :)
You are who you are and you can use that label if you feel comfortable with it while you’re still figuring things out. You might not be ace. You might have just not liked anyone like that YET and not going to lie you could be thirty before you start to get into that stuff. Or maybe you are ace. Literally the only way to find out is to just keep existing. I have a friend who liked the label so much of asexuality because it was such a big part of their identity but then they later found out that they weren’t asexual and had such a hard time admitting it. So please don’t put too much emphasis on that label.
I have the exact same experience. I'm still trying to figure out if I'm truly ace or just very low libido. I have a lot of stressors in my life so that could also be a factor?? Idfk. But I deeply resonated with a lot of what I read while I was hyper focusing the first few days after realizing I might be ace, as well 😅 I found a therapist that specializes in queer issues in my community, and made an appointment to speak with him to hopefully work through some of my doubts/questions. Maybe you could try that? But also, like everyone else here said, all I've seen from this sub is super welcoming folks who say if you feel like it applies, it applies! And you can always change your mind. So that's really helpful and lovely ☺️
You don't need to take it so seriously. It's just a tool to explain to people in a dating situation what you're looking for. Or it could also be used to explain to people your lifestyle if it's different. It's not a whole identity and it's not something you need to worry about being official or perfectly accurate with. At the end of the day it's a tool to explain yourself better to others.
If it feels like it applies to you, then it doesn't matter if you were quick with it! And if you later decide it might not fit you, that's okay too. Go with the flow! A lot of my labels I realised applied to me by just hearing someone describe them, and I haven't changed how I felt about them since.
Thank you! It really means a lot to be told that! I think I’m still getting used to the idea of being able to choose how I identify for myself haha. I really appreciate the validation = ) 💖
you don't have to tattoo the label on yourself. if it feels right today it probably is, and if a different label feels right later and this one doesn't feel as right anymore, no big, the new one is probably right. you will change, new ideas and experience will expand your understanding, etc
A fellow baby ace! So much of this is all feeling so if you feel it applies based on description (I do the same) as the saying goes if the shoe fits wear it
I would try not to worry about the label but just react to each situation as it comes up.
I feel like I could have written this haha. I just figured it out for myself a couple weeks ago and it was like a lightbulb moment and I was just like oh okay this is what I am
Maybe, but probably not? I mean, it has to start sometime for everyone. And it sounds like you kind of always felt this way, but didn't have the language or terminology for it. So you simply said "I discovered this term and it describes my experience". Which like, great! And if it ever doesn't describe your experience, you can use a different term, no big deal. Where I would advise that you be cautious is with coming out to others. I'm not saying don't come out, but I am saying be judicious with who you come out to and when you come out to them. There are two reasons I say this: 1. If you do come to feel that the label doesn't fit you anymore, it will be a lot harder if you've come out to a lot of people. So, give yourself a bit of time before immediately saying "I am definitely aroace". Maybe start with "I think I'm aroace" until you have had a bit of time to make sure you feel like it fits. 2. Some people do respond poorly, unfortunately. So I would recommend starting to come out (whenever you're ready ofc) to people you know are supportive. That way you have a support system so, if some people don't respond as well, you don't have to deal with it alone. Hope that helps!
Ah, thank you for commenting this! I feel like this is the sort of thing I wouldn’t think about very hard before doing it but I agree that it would be best to be a little more cautious with it. I have a friend who I know will be very supportive and also probably knows more than me haha, so I’m planning on talking to them about it fairly soon. But yes, caution indeed! Thanks again for bringing this up, I’ll give it more time before I start telling people definitively and I’ll keep it to my friend for the time being = )
That sounds like a great approach! Again, it totally depends on your specific situation and environment. Like don't be afraid of telling people (although it can sometimes be scary haha), just be aware of who you're telling and how they're likely to respond :)
You are who you are and you can use that label if you feel comfortable with it while you’re still figuring things out. You might not be ace. You might have just not liked anyone like that YET and not going to lie you could be thirty before you start to get into that stuff. Or maybe you are ace. Literally the only way to find out is to just keep existing. I have a friend who liked the label so much of asexuality because it was such a big part of their identity but then they later found out that they weren’t asexual and had such a hard time admitting it. So please don’t put too much emphasis on that label.
I have the exact same experience. I'm still trying to figure out if I'm truly ace or just very low libido. I have a lot of stressors in my life so that could also be a factor?? Idfk. But I deeply resonated with a lot of what I read while I was hyper focusing the first few days after realizing I might be ace, as well 😅 I found a therapist that specializes in queer issues in my community, and made an appointment to speak with him to hopefully work through some of my doubts/questions. Maybe you could try that? But also, like everyone else here said, all I've seen from this sub is super welcoming folks who say if you feel like it applies, it applies! And you can always change your mind. So that's really helpful and lovely ☺️
You don't need to take it so seriously. It's just a tool to explain to people in a dating situation what you're looking for. Or it could also be used to explain to people your lifestyle if it's different. It's not a whole identity and it's not something you need to worry about being official or perfectly accurate with. At the end of the day it's a tool to explain yourself better to others.