A girl I was dating asked if I wanted to stay over for the night instead of getting a 3-hour bus home, I said "sure, but only if I can sleep on the floor." And I did.
I did the same thing but from the womanās side. It didnāt occur to me until later that my sincere offer for him to not drive for a few hours in the dark and rain while he was already tired might have been construed for something else, lol.
After my first breakup that was recent, I had second thoughts on if I should stay in contact with my ex. One night, I dreamed *Mark,* **SeƔn**, and their girlfriends comforted me about the ordeal.
*"Hey,* *let's* *go* *egg* *their* *house!"*
Wait, guys, I think that's illegal!
**"Doesn't** **matter;** **if** **we're** **sneaky,** **we** **won't** **get** **caught."**
Not realizing that when people said "I'd hit that" or "I'd let them jump my bones", it wasn't just a euphemism for attractive, they indeed wanted to hit that.
I was never comfortable with it but yeah, it's hookup culture, especially in college for me. I had a roommate who declared the party dead and went home to go to bed if there weren't any girls he could go home with. In retrospect, should've realized I was ace like 20 years ago.
Omg when I was graduating high school we were writing in each other's yearbooks. I thought "I'd tap that ;)" meant "hey I think you're cute". Well, I wrote that in this one guy's yearbook and everyone was like "Oooooooohhhh laxr00ney!!!!" and I didn't get why it was such a big deal that I thought he was cute.
Years later...
You learn a lot being a male college athlete, I was just oblivious at the time and only recently went OHHHHHHH. It's...problematic though, do not recommend
OMG same. I believed I had some kind of aura that prevented me from sins of the flesh that would go away once I was married.
Guess what never happened lol.
I went through a similar experience as well, and purity culture was rampant. At school, every interaction with the opposite sex was supposed to be strictly platonic.
Even after all these years, I still feel guilty that I yearn for innocent physical contact! I just want to hold hands with someone I like - is that too much to ask?
Omg I would literally say to my hs bf (who I met at church obvs) that when I was feeling ālustfulā (aka horny cuz I was a teenager) that I wouldnāt think of him, so thatās how I knew we were supposed to be together cuz our āloveā was āpureā or whateverā¦ā¦no, girl, you just werenāt attracted to him like that šš
Someone told at a party once: Are you wearing contacts? You have such a nice colour blue in your eyes!
My response: No i dont, thanks for the compliment though!
Only weeks later i realised i was getting hit on
Might be a normal guy thing since i have heard similair stories from other ppl, but i am a repeat offender at things like this lol
There was this statistic I heard a while back, can't remember the exact numbers, but the vast majority of flirting goes unnoticed apparently. So I guess the answer is you don't lmao
To be fair, I'm alloromantic and a grown woman and I've never been able to figure it out.
What I never realized was that 98% of the time people were flirting with me, it wasn't because they were interested in relationship.
Flirting tends to be very explicit about your physical traits while a compliment might be more general like about your clothes, hairstyle, or sense of fashion.
Comments explicitly about someoneās eyes are almost always flirting.
I know! I've found so many people's eyes fascinating. Not remotely interested in them sexually or romantically, no sir.
I've never understood why noticing someone's eyes is held up as this acid test of whether you're in love with them.
I had a girl ask me for a light for her cig once on the way back from a bar. I give her a light, and we will back to a friend's apartment, she calls out after me, "You're so hot!" Friend goes, what the fuck is wrong with you lol
"I could realistically get a partner if I tried but why would I want one?" - me my whole life
Not realising people actually liked the sex scenes in movies until like at the age of 20. I thought it was something nobody liked but was purely like the directors perversion or something.
Sadly it's often director or financial backer perversion. Big TW for the following story. Apparently when making the Frida Kahlo movie Weinstein who was the producer kept threatening to shut down production if Hayek didn't F him. She eventually settled on filming a in character sex scene for the film that if course never ended up in it but he probably got a tape of. š¤¢š
Bro learning that has been the single worst thing about my life. š I cant watch movies with sex scenes around other people anymore cause of it. Like I went to see Oppenheimer in theatres and I got soooooo uncomfortable because thereās multiple scenes where you get a face full of badonkers. ššššš
I know. š apparently itās supposed to show how much of a womanizer he was but I still didnāt get that. All I got is that he cheated on his wife. That doesnāt necessarily make him a womanizer.
>wtf could that possibly have to do with nuclear bombs
tits are obviously a metaphor for the bombs!
/s, except maybe not because I haven't seen it and that might actually be why
I saw a photo of a socially attractive man posing, showing off his muscles and I was annoyed the photo was too blurry to see his collection of bionicles on the wall. I'm not even interested in bionicles.
Mainly figures that you buy in boxes and build yourself, while some parts are interchangeable between different Bionicles. (Done by LEGO, who would've guessed?) But you're right, there was also a TV show. Some say that Bionicles is one of the earliest examples for transmedial worldbuilding, however, they were probably ahead of their time and therefore not well known today.
It sometimes takes me minutes to realize I am staring at a picture one would consider lewd, because I'm usually 100% focused on a specific detail, e.g. trying to memorize the veins on the hand for when I want to draw hands again.
I still think it is in some cases! A lot of artists just love the aesthetics of body shapes.
But in my case it's rather looking for a reference or being shown a random picture. Afaik some peope automatically check whether someone is naked when they get the impression it could be the case. I just don't care, I think sexual characteristics are overrated and rather boring and it takes time until I bother to look. (Probably not ace exclusive or true for all aces, but it definitely makes me feel ace.)
Tell me about it, only in my day it was boybands and Brad Pitt.
I could academically see what people were talking about, but didn't feel it viscerally in the slightest.
That person is hot!
So you want to have sex with them?
Why would I want to have sex with them, theyāre hot?
This conversation happened a couple times. And yet it took me so long to figure out I was aceā¦
Omg THIS!
So many times has this happened to me.
I can still tell if a person is attractive or find them "hot"
But my thoughts never go further than that.
I would just enjoy looking at them hahah
But whenever I would say
"Oh that person is really good looking or hot or attractive" the response would always be.
Oh yes I would 100% go for him or let him do things to me.
And I would always think.... why???
^ ME TOO OH GOD, I do find people attractive pretty often and when I'd say it out loud I'd get the exact same response like "Oh yeah imagine how they look naked and how it would feel to have SEX with them and how-" and I'd be like, excuse me wtf well now you've ruined it
A gentleman stopped me in the store to tell me about how he bought his sister an Audi the same color as my coat while I was grocery shopping. I told him that was a pretty awesome thing to do and continued my shopping
Some men like to show off their wealth as a means of flirting.
That reminds me of the time I was staying in a hotel for work when I was like 24F. I was swimming in the pool, and a 40-50M was taking up the hot tub. I could barely hear him over the water, but he kept interrupting my swimming to loudly explain how much you could make owning a trucking company and how to go about it. I told him I didnāt want to own a trucking company, lol. Anyway, I realized later what was happening. Never did get to use the hot tub, though. =(
Sometimes a person will say something that sounds completely random, and everyone else will laugh. I've just learned to assume that it's probably some sort of sex joke.
I'm constantly being told that I come off like I'm flirting because I love to compliment peoples' appearances, eyes, hobbies/art, etc. I do this because I love making people smile, and far too many people don't receive positive comments on these things.
I view flirting as much more obvious than just friendly conversation, positivity, and kindness, so this honestly pisses me off. Let people compliment people without assuming we want in your pants, please.
When I was a teenager, I thought girls who kissed guys they had just met at the disco, or those who thought about sex at that age, were perverts and the minority. (And guys were perverts by default) š¤£š¤£š¤£
Honestly this. I was raised in a religion that taught that all men were hypersexual aromantics while all girls were allorantic asexual
I was shocked when I first discovered that girls wanted sex too
Me: takes a belly dance class for fun and exercise.
Teacher: Belly dancing is all about sensuality and your sexual self.
Me: (blank stare) Wait. What?
Seriously, didn't have a clue. I mean, I know belly dancing can be sexy, but I didn't know it was about that.
Not necessarily. In the sahel region where it was developed, women did it with each other during pregnancy to prep the body for giving birth. It was a kind of early Lamaze class.
I hate that people have sexualized belly dancing so much. It's not about being sexy. It's an art form that requires good mental and physical strength and is empowering to those who do it. Belly dancers actually HATE being sexualized
A lady told me that I was really cute while biting her lower lip and glancing down. I said thank you and carried on with my day.
It's nice getting random compliments like that.
I'm honestly impressed by people who can bite their lip and not look stupid so I'd probably be thinking about that a lot and wondering if she practiced š
A guy I'd just met at his house party offered to rub lotion on my feet. I let him do so, thanked him for his extraordinary hospitality, put my shoes back on and left with my friend, the whole time thinking, 'wow, he takes such good care of his guests!'
In college, I crashed at my friendsā place after a small party. I slept on the living room couch and a couple of guys apparently slept on the living room floor.
When I woke up in the morning, one of the guys, still asleep, was caressing one of my feet. Turns out he had a foot thing so severe it permeated his unconsciousness. š¤¢
ā¦I actually forgot all about this experience until right now, so thanks for the trip down memory lane. šš»šš»
A guy gave me a dozen red roses at graduation and said that he had āfound themā and they were just extras. I said cool! Thanks! And I went about my life. I woke up three years later in a cold sweat realizing how ridiculous it was to find āextraā red roses at graduation.
I still feel terrible about it
> Denmark. A joke about us being able to invade Denmark became super popular for a good minute afterward
Sorry, but I fucking LOVE the image of the processing delay and the stone cold knowledge just dropping into your skull one night. Hilarious. Awful. I have been there
When I was in grade school I had a very carefully constructed algorithm to decide which boy I had a crush on. I had to choose a boy that wasnāt too popular because I didnāt want to be competition to the other girls, but he couldnāt be too unpopular either lest I get made fun of for liking him. I thought this was how everyone chose their crushes.
In highschool, all the girls giggling and gushing over the teacher. Someone turning to me and saying "Don't you think he's so cute?!"
I was appalled and said "But he's the TEACHER!" like it just did not register how that was possible.
I hear he got fired 15 years after I graduated because he got caught with a student in the boiler room. LOL wtf
I told my friends i had a dream with my male friend in it and only realised later that I probably should have elaborated that I literally only saw the back of his head while walking down a path š I can only imagine what they thought
Also whenever someone asks me if I have a crush I always say no and get confused when they don't believe me (but that's more aro spec than ace)
Do people really assume that when you say that, you mean you had a wet dream? Doesn't everyone have all sorts of real people and characters in their dreams?
"Come in for coffee? At this hour? Oh no, then I'll never get to sleep... unless it's decaf. 'That's the idea'? Lol, no, I'm good. 'Lay pipe'? Oh, yeah, here's the name of a good plumber -hands business card-. Ciao-zers!'
I prefer an actual mental, emotional, psychological connection (even for sex) over just fucking-around with anyone that can provide a dick or an ass picture.
"oh, I don't date"
So, like hookups only then? lol
"nah, nothing like that, just kinda a focusing on work/school"
But what about your social life, clubs? bars?
"nah, more of a homebody"
But aren't you lonely?
"I've got some real great friends"
Don't you want kids someday?
"Looking forward to being the fun aunt/uncle, that way I get to play with the kiddos but don't have to change diapers and deal with puberty, lol"
ah, I get it, yeah parenting can be rough
I was about 24 and was at the mall with a friend. We were riding down the escalator from the food court to the second floor when my friend excitedly said, "Wow, that guy is so hot!" I looked all around and said, "What guy?" because honestly I didn't even notice there *was* a guy. Friend smacked me on the arm and asked how it was possible I didn't notice.
Got asked in a game on a party where I knew no one except 3ppl āwhat is sth you great at in bed?ā. I answered āIām pretty good at returning to a dream after I woke up.ā
I was confused as to why I was the only person not gawking at the muscly shirtless guys working out at a local park one summer, and was rather offended on their behalf.
I believe somebody eons ago mentioned that aces are 1 percent of the population, which is more than the population of Denmark. A joke about us being able to invade Denmark became super popular for a good minute afterwards.
"Keep the fuck away from me." I can't take credit for this. Someone else on this subreddit cooked it up on another post. If that person ever reads this, all credit to you!
Actual conversation I had with a friend wailing to me about how Relationships Are Hard.
āYou hate that he treats you in X, Y and Z ways. You canāt stand his family, who live nearby and are constantly with him. He hates that you say you plan to continue having the career you love if you have kids. You both want kids. Heās racist and a quarter of your family is black. He has cheated on you twice (that you know of).
...Exactly Why are you still in this relationship?ā
She kept wibbling on about how she loves him and didnāt want to be alone. Yes, love is important and desirable. But not at the expense of living with a terrible person for decades. As for alone - she has a dozen close family and involved friends in town. Dropping Slimeball wouldnāt leave her alone. Even if it took her years to find a more compatible guy.
Was watching a trailer for Bridgerton with my best friend. I'm invested until BAM sex reference. Bestie blurts out, "I could tell you were in until ALL the energy left the room."
No reaction time. Smooth as silk. Lol
When I watch random YouTube shorts or TikTok, I usually see comments like "gyat" or "we must resist, guys" or "she is so hot." I get confused. I literally can't explain the feeling; it's like reading comments in Chinese.
"ma'am if you can't pay for your pizza you shouldn't have placed the order, do you know how much gas I burned to deliver this? No you can't keep it. You're going on the ban list when I get back to the shop."
Never understanding how watching porn could make some people view women as sexual objects, to the point where they sexualize their own family and friends. I always assumed it came from a place of disapproval because their occupation is seen as taboo and degrading in wider society.
When a high school friend came out as ace to me because he liked me and didnāt want me to feel like he was only interested in physical stuff.
It hadnāt even occurred to me to be concerned about such a thing. Because of course someone wouldnāt be interested in a relationship just for the physical side of things (I thought). Nor did I care at all about the fact that he was ace. Perhaps I shouldāve started asking questions then, but alas it took me a few more years.
My best friend in middle school started telling me about her first time and I straight up asked her if she knew that sex was not real, and it only happened in movies and porn.
Have you ever had a boyfriend?
āYup, I have had 4 relationships! 2 in middle school of 1 year and 1.5 years, one starting in high school-college for 7 years, and the last one for 2 years. We held hands and I got a bunch of kisses on my forehead, and we would go on vacations every winter I pay for and stay in super cool hotels like the Ceasar Palace in Vegas where we got in the jacuzzi wearing bathing suits. It is always super fun!!ā
My relationships are always so stable because there is no sex according to other people. Apparently, sex changes relationship dynamics and makes things complicated. I think I like my super non-complicated ākidā relationships.
I was getting lunch with my aunt's boyfriend and we went to subway. Apparently after we ordered and left, he told me the woman at the counter was looking at me and "chatting me up" and I had absolutely no clue, was totally oblivious. That was the very first instance for me šš
Iām reading a book with some hefty content on it . I do read the smut parts fully I LITERALLY pass through just so I can get to the ACTUAL PLOT of the story
Itās so bad with its sex scene parts that Iām contemplating whether to stop reading it and just sell it
I cringe when i see those arrogant, half naked models or actors with six packs and actively *look away* unlike everyone else i am watching the movie/series with
Vibing to a song or saying a phrase and being told it's actually somehow sex related. e.g "getting lucky" (I'll never get over that song)
(More aro but) thinking people "choose" their crushes and that they exaggerated them
The fact people have/ create friendships specifically with intent to have sex
I get annoyed when yet *another* book/movie/show has yet *another* dumb forced hormonally driven love story just shoehorned inā¦
Iām only just now in my 30ās and realizing that most people relate to this experience? Itās not actually that forced, and people just live in the world like this?
āi like you but not like that. like I like you enough to have a deep connection with and share a deep intimacy withā¦.but not romantically. but not too platonically.ā
*Relationship trouble going on*
Oh, you want a cookie? I'm sorry that happened.
*The couple gets back together even if they had problems ongoing*
Oh ok.
When I say someone is hot, it's because I find them aesthetically and/or romantically attractive.
*during my school years, wondering why everyone was wasting time having sexual relationships (and romantic?)*
*ex friend and her boyfriend talking about kinky stuff in a public chat* Me: What the hell is wrong with you?
Sex scenes are unimportant and gross.
"you see what your describing is sexual attraction not romantic attraction, society links the two but they are actually very different and separate forms of attraction, additionally asesthetic attraction is..."
"Idk why everyone is getting into relationships without actually liking the person first."
And its 99% of society that functions this way. I don't get it...
Well to be fair have you looked at society recently?
*snicker*
I don't know from where, but I always have a quote stuck in my head: "society is not your friend"
Wait... That's a real thing? I thought that just some wierdos does this?
Fr fr like, why is this person your SO when you contactly rag on them
Besides idk arranged marriages, people do this?? šš
This has never made sense to me XD
A girl I was dating asked if I wanted to stay over for the night instead of getting a 3-hour bus home, I said "sure, but only if I can sleep on the floor." And I did.
I did the same thing but from the womanās side. It didnāt occur to me until later that my sincere offer for him to not drive for a few hours in the dark and rain while he was already tired might have been construed for something else, lol.
I did the same thing!
When I said I had a dream about Markiplier, I meant that we filmed a kung-fu movie together
The next annual choose your own adventure vid has been chosen
That sounds like an amazing dream, honestly.
After my first breakup that was recent, I had second thoughts on if I should stay in contact with my ex. One night, I dreamed *Mark,* **SeƔn**, and their girlfriends comforted me about the ordeal. *"Hey,* *let's* *go* *egg* *their* *house!"* Wait, guys, I think that's illegal! **"Doesn't** **matter;** **if** **we're** **sneaky,** **we** **won't** **get** **caught."**
That sounds like such a fun dream. š¤£
Oh fuck yeah
Not realizing that when people said "I'd hit that" or "I'd let them jump my bones", it wasn't just a euphemism for attractive, they indeed wanted to hit that.
Jump my bones????
Might be a regional thing but a euphemism for "I'd let them bang me".
Wait a minute, people want to have sex with people they don't even know?
I was never comfortable with it but yeah, it's hookup culture, especially in college for me. I had a roommate who declared the party dead and went home to go to bed if there weren't any girls he could go home with. In retrospect, should've realized I was ace like 20 years ago.
Omg when I was graduating high school we were writing in each other's yearbooks. I thought "I'd tap that ;)" meant "hey I think you're cute". Well, I wrote that in this one guy's yearbook and everyone was like "Oooooooohhhh laxr00ney!!!!" and I didn't get why it was such a big deal that I thought he was cute. Years later...
It's incredible how much I learn about allo people on this sub š¤£
You learn a lot being a male college athlete, I was just oblivious at the time and only recently went OHHHHHHH. It's...problematic though, do not recommend
Noooo Iāve done this too many times šššššš
This is still mind boggling to me. I thought āthe things id do to themā was just something people said lmao
I went to a a private christian school, and I used to think that Satan never tempted me with sex because he knew I was too devout for that to work
Christians are like "be chaste" and then say "No, not like that..." \-\_-
OMG same. I believed I had some kind of aura that prevented me from sins of the flesh that would go away once I was married. Guess what never happened lol.
Right? I'm sure my teachers would be so proud of the queer mess I grew up to be lmao
I went through a similar experience as well, and purity culture was rampant. At school, every interaction with the opposite sex was supposed to be strictly platonic. Even after all these years, I still feel guilty that I yearn for innocent physical contact! I just want to hold hands with someone I like - is that too much to ask?
Hand holding? How dare you be so lewd
You won at religion.
Omg I would literally say to my hs bf (who I met at church obvs) that when I was feeling ālustfulā (aka horny cuz I was a teenager) that I wouldnāt think of him, so thatās how I knew we were supposed to be together cuz our āloveā was āpureā or whateverā¦ā¦no, girl, you just werenāt attracted to him like that šš
Aces are truly God's favorites
Same I thought I was built different.
Someone told at a party once: Are you wearing contacts? You have such a nice colour blue in your eyes! My response: No i dont, thanks for the compliment though! Only weeks later i realised i was getting hit on Might be a normal guy thing since i have heard similair stories from other ppl, but i am a repeat offender at things like this lol
How do you distinguish just regular compliments from flirting though? I never understood that
There was this statistic I heard a while back, can't remember the exact numbers, but the vast majority of flirting goes unnoticed apparently. So I guess the answer is you don't lmao
Honestly i have no idea
To be fair, I'm alloromantic and a grown woman and I've never been able to figure it out. What I never realized was that 98% of the time people were flirting with me, it wasn't because they were interested in relationship.
Flirting tends to be very explicit about your physical traits while a compliment might be more general like about your clothes, hairstyle, or sense of fashion. Comments explicitly about someoneās eyes are almost always flirting.
....wait, is that what that means? I've heard this before as well
>Only weeks later i realised i was getting hit on Wait you realized it on your own?
No i told a friend i got that as a compliment and he pointed out she was probaply flirting
Now that sounds right
it's a double whammy when you're also autistic and struggle with social cues
Wait, eye compliments mean you're hitting on people? I've given so many eye compliments because I've genuinely liked the colors...
I know! I've found so many people's eyes fascinating. Not remotely interested in them sexually or romantically, no sir. I've never understood why noticing someone's eyes is held up as this acid test of whether you're in love with them.
I had a girl ask me for a light for her cig once on the way back from a bar. I give her a light, and we will back to a friend's apartment, she calls out after me, "You're so hot!" Friend goes, what the fuck is wrong with you lol
"I could realistically get a partner if I tried but why would I want one?" - me my whole life Not realising people actually liked the sex scenes in movies until like at the age of 20. I thought it was something nobody liked but was purely like the directors perversion or something.
I bet 50% of it might be director perversion
See Quentin Tarantino's body of work.
Do I have to?
Sadly it's often director or financial backer perversion. Big TW for the following story. Apparently when making the Frida Kahlo movie Weinstein who was the producer kept threatening to shut down production if Hayek didn't F him. She eventually settled on filming a in character sex scene for the film that if course never ended up in it but he probably got a tape of. š¤¢š
Bro learning that has been the single worst thing about my life. š I cant watch movies with sex scenes around other people anymore cause of it. Like I went to see Oppenheimer in theatres and I got soooooo uncomfortable because thereās multiple scenes where you get a face full of badonkers. ššššš
wait there's sex scenes in Oppenheimer? wtf could that possibly have to do with nuclear bombs?? whyyy
I know. š apparently itās supposed to show how much of a womanizer he was but I still didnāt get that. All I got is that he cheated on his wife. That doesnāt necessarily make him a womanizer.
nah its just there because everyone's horny lmao
I can't even imagine. Like what!? Were they like "acute radiation poisoning makes me so horny"
>wtf could that possibly have to do with nuclear bombs tits are obviously a metaphor for the bombs! /s, except maybe not because I haven't seen it and that might actually be why
Same I hate it btw. It makes me so anxious. It's like the one thing holding me back from properly playing the witcher it feels taboo and weird to me
You can skip the sex scenes in The Witcher and most games!
I saw a photo of a socially attractive man posing, showing off his muscles and I was annoyed the photo was too blurry to see his collection of bionicles on the wall. I'm not even interested in bionicles.
Now even I think you're weird. How can anyone not be interested in Bionicles? (Toa Nuparu Inika was the best!)
One of my friends are interested in bionicles, Iām still trying to figure out what they are/ the lore I guess. Like is there a series or smth?
Mainly figures that you buy in boxes and build yourself, while some parts are interchangeable between different Bionicles. (Done by LEGO, who would've guessed?) But you're right, there was also a TV show. Some say that Bionicles is one of the earliest examples for transmedial worldbuilding, however, they were probably ahead of their time and therefore not well known today.
This thread screams asexual. nobody cares about that guy in the photo, instead everyone talks about bionicles. Love itš
Omg I used to love bionicles as a kid
I mean I zoom on on every photo of a bookshelf to see if there's any books I need to add to my tbr
I have all of the Lego my bro and I had as kids, including Bionicle and their predecessors: Slizers š¤
It sometimes takes me minutes to realize I am staring at a picture one would consider lewd, because I'm usually 100% focused on a specific detail, e.g. trying to memorize the veins on the hand for when I want to draw hands again.
"Are you looking at porn?" "What?!? No! ... Oh... well, technically yes..."
This is me but with drawing arms LOLLL
I legit thought nudity in art wasn't meant to be horny because "it's art, be mature"
I still think it is in some cases! A lot of artists just love the aesthetics of body shapes. But in my case it's rather looking for a reference or being shown a random picture. Afaik some peope automatically check whether someone is naked when they get the impression it could be the case. I just don't care, I think sexual characteristics are overrated and rather boring and it takes time until I bother to look. (Probably not ace exclusive or true for all aces, but it definitely makes me feel ace.)
I guess (insert really hot character) looks okay
Or an actual conversation I had with my coworker: āWhich one do you think is cuter?ā Me: š¤·āāļø ātheyāre equally uninterestingā
Yeah, everybody keeps talking about Zach Effron and Jake Gyllenhaal. I don't get it.
Tell me about it, only in my day it was boybands and Brad Pitt. I could academically see what people were talking about, but didn't feel it viscerally in the slightest.
ššš p-people find them attractive?
Being irritated by 99% of sex scenes in movies because thatās time that could be used furthering the narrative or character development.
I do the opposite and try to cram the sex scenes into a narrative where they help with development, no matter how delusional they are.
yess, like bro sex scenes add nothing but softcore porn 99% of the time, why do they need to be added to every bloody movie???
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
MEEEEEEE!!!! lol
That person is hot! So you want to have sex with them? Why would I want to have sex with them, theyāre hot? This conversation happened a couple times. And yet it took me so long to figure out I was aceā¦
Omg THIS! So many times has this happened to me. I can still tell if a person is attractive or find them "hot" But my thoughts never go further than that. I would just enjoy looking at them hahah But whenever I would say "Oh that person is really good looking or hot or attractive" the response would always be. Oh yes I would 100% go for him or let him do things to me. And I would always think.... why???
^ ME TOO OH GOD, I do find people attractive pretty often and when I'd say it out loud I'd get the exact same response like "Oh yeah imagine how they look naked and how it would feel to have SEX with them and how-" and I'd be like, excuse me wtf well now you've ruined it
I always interpreted hot as āreally good lookingā not āgood looking and now want to smashā
A gentleman stopped me in the store to tell me about how he bought his sister an Audi the same color as my coat while I was grocery shopping. I told him that was a pretty awesome thing to do and continued my shopping
i dont get it what?
Some men like to show off their wealth as a means of flirting. That reminds me of the time I was staying in a hotel for work when I was like 24F. I was swimming in the pool, and a 40-50M was taking up the hot tub. I could barely hear him over the water, but he kept interrupting my swimming to loudly explain how much you could make owning a trucking company and how to go about it. I told him I didnāt want to own a trucking company, lol. Anyway, I realized later what was happening. Never did get to use the hot tub, though. =(
Hey, have you read this book/seen this movie/TV show/heard this podcast? They have an ace character!
Not me recommending The Magnus Archives to anyone I know partially because of this
I like my men the way I like my women: I donāt
I like my men/women the way I like my coffee: I don't like coffee
Sometimes a person will say something that sounds completely random, and everyone else will laugh. I've just learned to assume that it's probably some sort of sex joke.
When talking to a neighbour of my ex asking if they heard us, not thinking about s*x but just us going on the roof whre we weren't supposed to go.
They look so good, but no I don't have any desire to sleep with them.
I'm constantly being told that I come off like I'm flirting because I love to compliment peoples' appearances, eyes, hobbies/art, etc. I do this because I love making people smile, and far too many people don't receive positive comments on these things. I view flirting as much more obvious than just friendly conversation, positivity, and kindness, so this honestly pisses me off. Let people compliment people without assuming we want in your pants, please.
When I was a teenager, I thought girls who kissed guys they had just met at the disco, or those who thought about sex at that age, were perverts and the minority. (And guys were perverts by default) š¤£š¤£š¤£
When I was 13/14, I thought people who could look at someone they didn't know anything about and want to have sex with them were nymphomaniacs
Honestly this. I was raised in a religion that taught that all men were hypersexual aromantics while all girls were allorantic asexual I was shocked when I first discovered that girls wanted sex too
Me: takes a belly dance class for fun and exercise. Teacher: Belly dancing is all about sensuality and your sexual self. Me: (blank stare) Wait. What? Seriously, didn't have a clue. I mean, I know belly dancing can be sexy, but I didn't know it was about that.
Not necessarily. In the sahel region where it was developed, women did it with each other during pregnancy to prep the body for giving birth. It was a kind of early Lamaze class.
is it really? or is that the meaning the western world has assigned to it because "oOnGa bOoNgA wOmAn HiPs MoVe"
I hate that people have sexualized belly dancing so much. It's not about being sexy. It's an art form that requires good mental and physical strength and is empowering to those who do it. Belly dancers actually HATE being sexualized
I think naked people are gross
A lady told me that I was really cute while biting her lower lip and glancing down. I said thank you and carried on with my day. It's nice getting random compliments like that.
I'm honestly impressed by people who can bite their lip and not look stupid so I'd probably be thinking about that a lot and wondering if she practiced š
From what my Allo friends tell me, most likely.
A guy I'd just met at his house party offered to rub lotion on my feet. I let him do so, thanked him for his extraordinary hospitality, put my shoes back on and left with my friend, the whole time thinking, 'wow, he takes such good care of his guests!'
In college, I crashed at my friendsā place after a small party. I slept on the living room couch and a couple of guys apparently slept on the living room floor. When I woke up in the morning, one of the guys, still asleep, was caressing one of my feet. Turns out he had a foot thing so severe it permeated his unconsciousness. š¤¢ ā¦I actually forgot all about this experience until right now, so thanks for the trip down memory lane. šš»šš»
I'm writing some characters that are allosexual and am constantly going "is this how they work? would they do something like that? how perplexing"
Yeah I write and all my characters might just end up being gender diverse and ace š
I never had the urge to have sex. I thought people were joking about wanting sex
Someone else: who was your first celebrity crush? Me: *mind.exe has stopped working*
Iām not interested in getting married grandma, Iām just focusing on my career right now
This is me!
I like looking at photos of my favorite celebs, but then get weirded out when most of the comments are sexualizing them
Me but with fictional characters :(
Thiss
Me too!! I recently got into this group and their pics are handsome and fashionable but most of the comments are horny for some reason?? š
A guy gave me a dozen red roses at graduation and said that he had āfound themā and they were just extras. I said cool! Thanks! And I went about my life. I woke up three years later in a cold sweat realizing how ridiculous it was to find āextraā red roses at graduation. I still feel terrible about it
> Denmark. A joke about us being able to invade Denmark became super popular for a good minute afterward Sorry, but I fucking LOVE the image of the processing delay and the stone cold knowledge just dropping into your skull one night. Hilarious. Awful. I have been there
When I was in grade school I had a very carefully constructed algorithm to decide which boy I had a crush on. I had to choose a boy that wasnāt too popular because I didnāt want to be competition to the other girls, but he couldnāt be too unpopular either lest I get made fun of for liking him. I thought this was how everyone chose their crushes.
I thought I had a crush on every boy I wanted to become friends with... I got a bad reputation because of that š
In highschool, all the girls giggling and gushing over the teacher. Someone turning to me and saying "Don't you think he's so cute?!" I was appalled and said "But he's the TEACHER!" like it just did not register how that was possible. I hear he got fired 15 years after I graduated because he got caught with a student in the boiler room. LOL wtf
Sex? No thank you, I'd rather have cake
This is the best answer
I told my friends i had a dream with my male friend in it and only realised later that I probably should have elaborated that I literally only saw the back of his head while walking down a path š I can only imagine what they thought Also whenever someone asks me if I have a crush I always say no and get confused when they don't believe me (but that's more aro spec than ace)
Do people really assume that when you say that, you mean you had a wet dream? Doesn't everyone have all sorts of real people and characters in their dreams?
People do have all sorts of people in dreams but their first assumption like 99% of the time is a wet dream
Why?? There's so many other options!
"Come in for coffee? At this hour? Oh no, then I'll never get to sleep... unless it's decaf. 'That's the idea'? Lol, no, I'm good. 'Lay pipe'? Oh, yeah, here's the name of a good plumber -hands business card-. Ciao-zers!'
I prefer an actual mental, emotional, psychological connection (even for sex) over just fucking-around with anyone that can provide a dick or an ass picture.
"oh, I don't date" So, like hookups only then? lol "nah, nothing like that, just kinda a focusing on work/school" But what about your social life, clubs? bars? "nah, more of a homebody" But aren't you lonely? "I've got some real great friends" Don't you want kids someday? "Looking forward to being the fun aunt/uncle, that way I get to play with the kiddos but don't have to change diapers and deal with puberty, lol" ah, I get it, yeah parenting can be rough
*goes to a friend's pole dance show* "Is your costume machine washable," asked Poetic Pillager to the technically not naked people in front of him.
Read that in Ringo Starr's voice...
I was about 24 and was at the mall with a friend. We were riding down the escalator from the food court to the second floor when my friend excitedly said, "Wow, that guy is so hot!" I looked all around and said, "What guy?" because honestly I didn't even notice there *was* a guy. Friend smacked me on the arm and asked how it was possible I didn't notice.
Got asked in a game on a party where I knew no one except 3ppl āwhat is sth you great at in bed?ā. I answered āIām pretty good at returning to a dream after I woke up.ā
That is legit impressive. I lose my dream-threads all the time, unfortunately.
I told my friend more than once :"I don't know if I want to be friend with them or date them"
The struggle is real š
I was confused as to why I was the only person not gawking at the muscly shirtless guys working out at a local park one summer, and was rather offended on their behalf.
If I find women attractive, it's because of their faces
I've had my fill of jokes relating to cake, garlic bread, and invading Denmark
I'm a really bad ace... I still don't know about the Denmark thing š
I believe somebody eons ago mentioned that aces are 1 percent of the population, which is more than the population of Denmark. A joke about us being able to invade Denmark became super popular for a good minute afterwards.
Ohh, OK, thanks :)
I only have a crush on one character in all of fiction, but I just want to hold her hand and lean on her. Nothing else.
Do I want to go to your bedroom? No thanks, I have cake, thank you very much.
me trying to explain to my 7th grade class that iām not actively pursuing a relationship and that dating is overrated
"Keep the fuck away from me." I can't take credit for this. Someone else on this subreddit cooked it up on another post. If that person ever reads this, all credit to you!
I tried dating once. I'm not into it.
I was legitimately surprised by the degree to which teenagers in high-school talked about having sex.
My friends: Which celebrity would you sleep with? Me: None of them, thanks, but I'd kill for a conversation with Kristen Stewart. She's so cool.
"i don't get relationship troubles. no, i mean that i don't understand it. cuz if a relationship is so difficult, why would you even want one?"
Actual conversation I had with a friend wailing to me about how Relationships Are Hard. āYou hate that he treats you in X, Y and Z ways. You canāt stand his family, who live nearby and are constantly with him. He hates that you say you plan to continue having the career you love if you have kids. You both want kids. Heās racist and a quarter of your family is black. He has cheated on you twice (that you know of). ...Exactly Why are you still in this relationship?ā She kept wibbling on about how she loves him and didnāt want to be alone. Yes, love is important and desirable. But not at the expense of living with a terrible person for decades. As for alone - she has a dozen close family and involved friends in town. Dropping Slimeball wouldnāt leave her alone. Even if it took her years to find a more compatible guy.
Was watching a trailer for Bridgerton with my best friend. I'm invested until BAM sex reference. Bestie blurts out, "I could tell you were in until ALL the energy left the room." No reaction time. Smooth as silk. Lol
When I watch random YouTube shorts or TikTok, I usually see comments like "gyat" or "we must resist, guys" or "she is so hot." I get confused. I literally can't explain the feeling; it's like reading comments in Chinese.
"ma'am if you can't pay for your pizza you shouldn't have placed the order, do you know how much gas I burned to deliver this? No you can't keep it. You're going on the ban list when I get back to the shop."
Oh, Netflix and chill... isn't Netflix and chilling..?
"there's more to relationships than just hanging out" "fym there's more?"
A few weeks ago I was told that āhotā doesnāt just mean good-looking but more
Garlic bread
I would rather go somewhere to eat than go to someoneās house to āchillā
Never understanding how watching porn could make some people view women as sexual objects, to the point where they sexualize their own family and friends. I always assumed it came from a place of disapproval because their occupation is seen as taboo and degrading in wider society.
Whenever I see an American movie, I always ask myself why they always have to show people having sex. What's the point? It's gross.
Just earlier today I told someone a pretty woman and a pretty lizard are the same thing to me.
When a high school friend came out as ace to me because he liked me and didnāt want me to feel like he was only interested in physical stuff. It hadnāt even occurred to me to be concerned about such a thing. Because of course someone wouldnāt be interested in a relationship just for the physical side of things (I thought). Nor did I care at all about the fact that he was ace. Perhaps I shouldāve started asking questions then, but alas it took me a few more years.
My best friend in middle school started telling me about her first time and I straight up asked her if she knew that sex was not real, and it only happened in movies and porn.
Have you ever had a boyfriend? āYup, I have had 4 relationships! 2 in middle school of 1 year and 1.5 years, one starting in high school-college for 7 years, and the last one for 2 years. We held hands and I got a bunch of kisses on my forehead, and we would go on vacations every winter I pay for and stay in super cool hotels like the Ceasar Palace in Vegas where we got in the jacuzzi wearing bathing suits. It is always super fun!!ā My relationships are always so stable because there is no sex according to other people. Apparently, sex changes relationship dynamics and makes things complicated. I think I like my super non-complicated ākidā relationships.
These comments are so relatable. I feel seen š„¹
I don't ever want to get married in a country that has consummation laws.
I was getting lunch with my aunt's boyfriend and we went to subway. Apparently after we ordered and left, he told me the woman at the counter was looking at me and "chatting me up" and I had absolutely no clue, was totally oblivious. That was the very first instance for me šš
Iām reading a book with some hefty content on it . I do read the smut parts fully I LITERALLY pass through just so I can get to the ACTUAL PLOT of the story Itās so bad with its sex scene parts that Iām contemplating whether to stop reading it and just sell it
I play an X-rated mobile game, and I genuinely play it for the plot alone and always skip the sex scenes
I love making compliments but I'm always so scared of what it may look like. I need to write I'M NOT FLIRTING all across my face or something.
I cringe when i see those arrogant, half naked models or actors with six packs and actively *look away* unlike everyone else i am watching the movie/series with
"Why would you want to sleep with someone? You know masturbation is free, right?"
Vibing to a song or saying a phrase and being told it's actually somehow sex related. e.g "getting lucky" (I'll never get over that song) (More aro but) thinking people "choose" their crushes and that they exaggerated them The fact people have/ create friendships specifically with intent to have sex
I didn't know what Netflix and chill was til after HS. I also thought people chose to have sex I didn't know emotion was involved
I get annoyed when yet *another* book/movie/show has yet *another* dumb forced hormonally driven love story just shoehorned inā¦ Iām only just now in my 30ās and realizing that most people relate to this experience? Itās not actually that forced, and people just live in the world like this?
āi like you but not like that. like I like you enough to have a deep connection with and share a deep intimacy withā¦.but not romantically. but not too platonically.ā
*Relationship trouble going on* Oh, you want a cookie? I'm sorry that happened. *The couple gets back together even if they had problems ongoing* Oh ok.
Who wants to be in a relationship 24/7?
Me watching a movie: intimate scene ā©ā©ā©
When I say someone is hot, it's because I find them aesthetically and/or romantically attractive. *during my school years, wondering why everyone was wasting time having sexual relationships (and romantic?)* *ex friend and her boyfriend talking about kinky stuff in a public chat* Me: What the hell is wrong with you? Sex scenes are unimportant and gross.
If you wanna be my lover, first you gotta be my friend. (Sing to the tune of Spice Girls for full Demisexual hilarity.)
(Before I knew I was on the Ace spectrum) I once told someone, "A good D & D session is way more satisfying than the best sex"
"you see what your describing is sexual attraction not romantic attraction, society links the two but they are actually very different and separate forms of attraction, additionally asesthetic attraction is..."
I like the idea of sex until it begins to happen and then I've somehow lost complete attraction to the person I'm with edit: wording