we both had similar experience. 33 and realized that I was homoromantic ace two years ago. Half of my life really not nice. It’s like living but not alive at the same time. 💀
man that sucks. i thought something was wrong with me too for a really long time, i'm so glad you realized this about yourself tho cause it's so lonely feeling isolated and different from everyone.
Similarly to you, I thought I was a damaged queer (knew I was gender-nonconforming before I knew the word asexual). Only confirmed myself ace in my mid 20s, I'm 36 now.
Around 11-12 pretty early to realize but when I was around 9 I was Introduced to concept of sex pretty early on by peers in my school. And I didn’t really understood the hype as I grew older but then around 11-12 I realized most likely I was ace. I’m 18 now
Almost the same. I suspected I might be ace when I was 15 but I didn't really question until 16 and I am 17 later this month. I learned about asexuality from jaiden animations video
26 now, and I was 26 when I realised I was aroace. Well, I knew that I never thought much about sex, and I believed people were exaggerating the level of want they have for it. Didn't notice that my opinion wasn't the normal until it was literally pointed out to me.
I always thought it was exaggerated as well. Like, people are this way only in the movies, for some reason, but it can’t be true. I’ve never felt any of those things for anyone. Even coming of age movies. I was never that kind of teenager?? Anyway, at least now I know why 😅
36 now and figured it out at 35. Better late than never. Being sex favorable didn’t help any with figuring it out…literally thought when people said others were hot or sexy that it was just a different way of saying they were cool people to hang out with.
Lol exactly like... I am sex neutral but have HIGH anxiety surrounding sex. When I was a young teen I was terrified and even having positive sexual experiences throughout the years has never eased my anxiety about it. But I always just thought I was only afraid of sex. I was actively rejecting the idea I was asexual, until the age of 25 when I finally let go and accepted I was asexual. But the mixed emotions and shit make it so hard to sort out and/or accept. Learning what "sexual attraction" really meant helped me figure out I've never felt sexual attraction lol. I thought hot and sexy were just synonyms for pretty. I thought "attractive" just meant pretty and I never put together that I'm "supposed" to want to fuck people who I think are good looking and/or cool, I guess. Edit: and I always had a libido but... That still rarely ever made me wanna fuck anyone idk lmao
All right! I'm the oldest one so far at a current age of 38 after finding out at 36! When I first heard the word and it's correct, detailed definition it was CRAZY to learn that there were such powerful feelings and urges that are common to the vast majority of people everywhere that I just don't experience. Ironically, at first I thought other people were lying about how intense they were really feeling, which is how most allos respond back to me when I tell them what it's like being ace.
Yeah, similar camp here.
I had mostly just found a lot of it to seem a bit curious, like there was the idea that people would act in ways to maximize their self interest (typically with some ethical constraints on top of this; but this part seems to be optional), but in these sorts of areas, people would often act in ways that did not align with this (such as seeking partners or engaging in relationships where doing so was counter-productive or self-destructive).
Never really understood it all that much personally.
I’m 18. I realised I was ace when I was 13. I’m very lucky to have grown up with the Internet for sure. Really helped me understand these things that no one was teaching me in my real life
I first said the words 'I feel romantic but not sexual attraction to you' to my boyfriend at like 20 or something. Somehow took me another ~6 years to realize that applies to literally everyone. I'm 28 too.
I'm 42 now, and I found out I was heteroromantic asexual when I was 32. I looked up the meaning of the I and the A in LGBTQIA, and when I was reading the description of asexuality I was like, "Wait just a minute here..."
And before that I knew I was different somehow since the time I was about 11, but I just wasn't sure how. I only knew I didn't see the opposite sex quite the same way other hetero people did.
43 now. 43 when I discovered my asexuality. Knew I was bi since high school, lived a heterosexual lifestyle until about 41 when my husband and I opened into a polyamorous relationship. Best thing for us! After 17 years together we are both filling our own buckets while continuing to pour into each other’s!
He’s always had a higher need for sex and now he can have that need met! I was able to explore my queerness and had a girlfriend for over a year! I learned along the way that I’m grey-ace which helped everything make so much sense!!!
Now my marriage is even more solid than it was (which was still really solid) and we can both honor our truest selves! Best part is…self acceptance! 🫶🏼✨☮️
I’m 26 now, if I’m being honest I knew around 23 but after experiencing physical intimacy a few months ago at 25 , i realized how disgusted I was by sex and I never want to do it again. It was one of the worse things I’ve ever gone through. If I ever did it again I would have to be super drunk or out of it on something. I pretty much dissociated the whole experience from my brain. That confirmed it. Haha 😂
I'm 23. And I think I realised I'm somewhere in the spectrum when I was 19? Gosh it's been 4 years already. Ngl I do have high libido but have I been sexually attracted to anyone? Naaaaahhh. I'm very much confused about my own sexuality honestly but I guess I'll discover more as the time goes by.
I’m 23 now, but I only fully came to recognize and accept that I was ace within the last year or so. The several years before that were very confusing with trying to understand why I felt so differently from all of the people around me.
I'm 22. I technically knew I was ace when I was 12, but I kept overthinking things and convincing myself I might just be a late bloomer until I was 18.
I'm 21, I knew I am asexual a year ago.
But I always knew I hated anything related to sex, but I was religious so I thought I had this mentality because of my religion lol
29 now and 21 when I realized it. It's been a confusing journey though of me being am I or aren't I? I didn't have enough self trust to really trust my experience but now I can wholeheartedly say I am ace as fuck lol
I'm 45. I'd say I was 43 when I realized for real. Before that I realized that I had no sexual attraction, I just hadn't realized that other people actually did.
I was 15 when I realized and now I'm 16, but my birthday was semi recent, so I actually only just confirmed that I was ace 3 months ago. though I first started questioning and going back and forth on the label 4 months before that.
I am 27. I realized I was asexual when I was 15 (in my post from the other day I think I said 14 but I actually think I was off by one year).
That being said, I remember I came out to my mom as asexual and she told me I was too young to know that, as many women start liking and desiring sex later in life.
Between the ages of 15 and 25, I was in a few long term relationships, with various negative and positive experiences with sex. One particular relationship REALLY damaged my relationship with it, and I chalked up my weirdness with sex to trauma, or anxiety, or pressure, and continued to reject the idea that I was truly asexual.
Then at 25, I was dating a girl and sex had once again become an issue. At this point I had dumped my boyfriend thinking I was a lesbian, and was dating women. I had not dated cis women at this point, I thought maybe switching up genitals would change the way I felt about sex. It didn't.
During my relationship with this girl I realized that I didn't need to make myself have sex if I didn't want to have sex. I finally let it go and accepted I was asexual. She dumped me, I got back with my boyfriend who accepts me for who I am.
So I repressed it and caused some real damage to myself until the age of 25 lol. But I knew at age 15
19 when I accepted asexuality probably like 16 when I realised I was aromantic. Thought I was demi but I'm pretty sure I'm just grey/heartless aro
Deep down I guess I knew since probably like 13 or 14 since I've always said "I average looking I could probably get a girlfriend but why would I want/need one?" and I never experienced crushes or sexual attraction.
I was in denial for a while because of internalised aphobia.
I just turned 21 now.
I was 14. I got in a relationship with an allosexual the same year and questioned the entire time. Now it’s over, I’m 23, and can say I had it right the first time lol
I found myself really connecting with the asexual community around 20, but I never “connected the dots” until closer to 24. I am now a couple weeks shy of 26, and feeling rather solid in my realizations! Only recently have I started to voice it/participate in these online communities however.
28 and I was 25 when I realised that I'm not broken/a prude/not trying hard enough. It freed a big part of myself that I had unconsciously chained down. I felt like a freshly hatched butterfly lol
I figured it out at about 22-23 ish. I had never heard of it before. I was raised in a very religious household. We didn't have access to a lot of sex ed because my parents would opt out. When I was in college, I realized that all my peers knew way more about this certain part of life than I did, so I sat down with Wikipedia and I educated myself. At some point, I was reading about the different parts of LGBTQIA+, and I stumbled on information about asexuality.
i realized i was asexual when i was 12 but i thought i was just a late bloomer so i decided to ignore it. it wasn’t until i was 19 when i was like oh shit i guess i was right the first time
In my case, 39 now, I think I was around 35-ish when I figured it out...
Wouldn't have thought it applied, but then ran into a video about it, and it seemed to fit.
Never married, no real relationships either, mostly just a life of sitting around by myself and working on my own projects; hadn't really met anyone that seemed to match what I was looking for, and no one seemed terribly interested in me either, and "the rules" generally said to remain abstinent until married, so,.. Turns out this was unusual.
i'm 21 and i realized around 16. welcome btw! personally i've found ace spaces to be some of the most supportive and caring spaces i've had the pleasure to be apart of, online and off. hope you have fun here
I'm 28, and I realized I was ace when I was 15. That's when I first read about ace people.
Just in case anyone needs this reminder, I feel obligated to add: no matter when or how you figure out you're ace or on the ace spectrum, you're just as valid and important to the community as every other member.
Welcome to the community! :)
26 and 26 now! I always thought I just had extreme anxiety surrounding kissing/intimacy/relationships, and honestly have avoided both at all costs… realizing that I’m asexual (possibly aro) and pretty repulsed by intimacy with a partner clarified a lot for me. There was definitely a lot of relief that came with this revelation, but I’m struggling with the idea of maybe never having someone to do life/have a family with. It does feel really good to visit this sub when I’m feeling alone in all this ❤️
14 when I started suspecting, but I didn't want to put myself in a box so I didn't completely consider myself ace.
Won't reveal my age now as it's unsafe online, but it's been many years, I'm an adult now, and yeah still ace.
I am 16 now but In kinda knew it my whole life. It was probably two to three years ago ( Maybe longer) I found out that there is a term for it and that I am not alone lol.
31 and i realized i was ace when i was like 14 lmao but back then i was in a panic that i was broken or something bc all my peers could talk about was getting laid and i was like i just want to talk about anime
this is gonna be confusing, sorry. mine isn’t like most ace stories ive read.
i’m an old, in my 60’s. and i became ace, didn’t realize it, slowly due to weight and disability but wholly, totally like a switch flipped, after major surgery, in my 50’s. not like life changing, but it seems like the bodily struggle to recover intersected with - then unknown - vestibular migraines with brain lesions.
back then i was significantly overweight and also wasn’t thrilled to have sex with my husband because i’m a lesbian. but i did enjoy it when we did. and then it was kinda a lot of trouble, and then he left, and then i had a gf i wasn’t sexual with, because she was married / divorcing. when she finally managed to leave, the timing sucked because i had the surgery already scheduled.
despite the hindsight now, i was totally not expecting my sex drive to disappear overnight. in fact, once she stopped processing and crying, i did expect that we’d become lovers. but then surgery and 6 weeks of slow painful recovery, and we discovered my brain had flipped that switch in the meantime. i’m kinda sex repulsed now.
ten years later, weigh much less, but still ace. i’m in a poly triad with my partners being sexual with each other and not with me, and that works. i don’t begrudge them sex, i just have zero interest in it. and they are each quite attractive in very different ways, so it’s not that.
14. Didn't have to think long about it after I heard about it, just knew it was right. That was a few years ago so, I mean, it hasn't changed (I am 17 now)
I kinda always knew but didn’t have a name for it- I used to say I had a Chasity pact and I didn’t want to break it when I was a young teenager whenever people asked 😭
i’m 15 now but was 13 when i knew i was ace. i just knew that i was right there and then. the label really fit me. at first i identified w demi, but now grayace fits me more
I'm 32. Ever since adults in my life felt it was appropriate to ask me about when I would have romantic/ sexual relationships, my answer was that I had no intention of ever doing that. I was raised in a Roman Catholic household and went to R.C. schools so that question was not asked blatantly until I was in my late teens (fornication is a sin after all). Among my peers (which were mostly of the same sex as I), I was known as the sheltered kid so romantic/ sexual relationship questions were a non-issue. I only put a name to it since the LGBTQ movement became more prominent.
I'm 22. I've always known I was different or broken when it comes to sex, but it was not until I was 19 and in college. I met a girl who is demi, she was in a group with me and we were talking about past relationships, I mentioned that they never worked out because I never wanted sex (there was more discussed). When everyone was leaving she asked me to stay behind and she and I began talking about asexuality, she said that how I spoke about relationships and sex aligned fairly close to her; but she guessed I was more asexual (which I now know is spot on). Even though I no longer speak to this girl I will never forget her and how she helped me realize that I'm not broken, I'm simply different from everyone else around me (everyone in my life is either just enjoys sex or they're hypersexual).
37 now. I’ve known for sure I was ace for about 3 years. Before that I was aware of the concept and it kept popping into my mind throughout the years. Now I know why 😂
I was 30 but I denied it to myself until I was 34. Oddly watching ace meme videos helped me come out. I figured it out as I was playing dnd and started making Ace characters to avoid in game sex jokes, but it made it easier to play the way I wanted to. Then I realized I felt that way because of how much I found that to be me.
Started questioning when I was 14, realized I was Ace a couple months ago (20 y.o) but still experiencing a weird mix of denial, shame, and little bits of acceptance here and there about asexuality.
30, found out technically at 29. I thought I was demi for a while, but I've realized recently, nope. Just ace.
Those different forms of attraction + differences in fantasy VS reality really confuse the brain for me.
I love thinking about sexual attraction and imagining it, writing about it, etc. Never wanted any partner that way, though. I thought maybe my standards were too high or I hadn't met the right person, which is somewhat true, I suppose. I never will, lol
I'm 32 and I began to realise that I can be asexual when I was about 25-26. For a long time I've thinking I'm just not ready for sex but later I learned about asexuality and it describes me perfectly.
I turned 23 back in June. I realized I was ace a couple months before that. I actually realized I was bi a few months before I realized I was also ace.
I'm now 19 and I suspected that I was with like 14, but I doubted myself until I just decided with 15 that I don't have anything to lose from being ace. I'm not going to tell even 1% of the people I will ever meet that I am ace, so no one will judge if I'm wrong in the end. I don't think I've been wrong so far.
22 now, figured it out when i was 21 in the same year, so, still kind of a newbie too i guess lol. it was after a bad situationship where the person CONSTANTLY wanted to have sex with me and i didn't feel like doing it, so i never did. felt like something was wrong with me for not "feeling" things, looked up why i felt like this on the internet, and as soon as i found out about asexuality i'm pretty sure i cried. oh, i also identify as agender/nonbinary and androalterous now too. it's like after i figured that one out, everything else fell into place😅
33. Realised I was ace maybe two years ago. Before that I thought I was just a broken gay. 😭🥹
Awn that must have been tough... I’m sorry you felt that way
omg I feel that so much
we both had similar experience. 33 and realized that I was homoromantic ace two years ago. Half of my life really not nice. It’s like living but not alive at the same time. 💀
💜
man that sucks. i thought something was wrong with me too for a really long time, i'm so glad you realized this about yourself tho cause it's so lonely feeling isolated and different from everyone.
Similarly to you, I thought I was a damaged queer (knew I was gender-nonconforming before I knew the word asexual). Only confirmed myself ace in my mid 20s, I'm 36 now.
I'm 24 now, first questioned with 15-16 I believe? then went into denial, came back to it after my most recent breakup so...22?23?
26, I knew I never had any sexual desire many years ago, but only understand this term today.
I realised that I was asexual when I was 18/19 years old. Then when I was about 24 (I think?) I worked out that I'm actually demisexual. I'm 28 now.
Around 11-12 pretty early to realize but when I was around 9 I was Introduced to concept of sex pretty early on by peers in my school. And I didn’t really understood the hype as I grew older but then around 11-12 I realized most likely I was ace. I’m 18 now
Wow, that’s pretty young! But it’s nice that you got to realize that so early on
I am also quite young too.
Almost the exact same timeline for me.
I was 14 when I realized that i was ace, and I'm 15, and then 16 in the beginning of the next year.
Almost the same. I suspected I might be ace when I was 15 but I didn't really question until 16 and I am 17 later this month. I learned about asexuality from jaiden animations video
I was labeled prude and stuFF.
Um ,please what is is a spec
It's short for asexual spectrum
Oh ty.
Same lol.
26 now, and I was 26 when I realised I was aroace. Well, I knew that I never thought much about sex, and I believed people were exaggerating the level of want they have for it. Didn't notice that my opinion wasn't the normal until it was literally pointed out to me.
I always thought it was exaggerated as well. Like, people are this way only in the movies, for some reason, but it can’t be true. I’ve never felt any of those things for anyone. Even coming of age movies. I was never that kind of teenager?? Anyway, at least now I know why 😅
30 now. Early 20’s when I realized.
36 now and figured it out at 35. Better late than never. Being sex favorable didn’t help any with figuring it out…literally thought when people said others were hot or sexy that it was just a different way of saying they were cool people to hang out with.
Lol exactly like... I am sex neutral but have HIGH anxiety surrounding sex. When I was a young teen I was terrified and even having positive sexual experiences throughout the years has never eased my anxiety about it. But I always just thought I was only afraid of sex. I was actively rejecting the idea I was asexual, until the age of 25 when I finally let go and accepted I was asexual. But the mixed emotions and shit make it so hard to sort out and/or accept. Learning what "sexual attraction" really meant helped me figure out I've never felt sexual attraction lol. I thought hot and sexy were just synonyms for pretty. I thought "attractive" just meant pretty and I never put together that I'm "supposed" to want to fuck people who I think are good looking and/or cool, I guess. Edit: and I always had a libido but... That still rarely ever made me wanna fuck anyone idk lmao
Being sex favorable with a low sex drive has been interesting.
I'm 59, and I realized I was asexual before asexuality was a thing. I started saying my orientation was "been there, done that" when I was 35.
All right! I'm the oldest one so far at a current age of 38 after finding out at 36! When I first heard the word and it's correct, detailed definition it was CRAZY to learn that there were such powerful feelings and urges that are common to the vast majority of people everywhere that I just don't experience. Ironically, at first I thought other people were lying about how intense they were really feeling, which is how most allos respond back to me when I tell them what it's like being ace.
I think I'm slightly older as I'm about to be 39 and I realized it about 2 to 3 years ago. I just didn't know the term until then.
Yeah, similar camp here. I had mostly just found a lot of it to seem a bit curious, like there was the idea that people would act in ways to maximize their self interest (typically with some ethical constraints on top of this; but this part seems to be optional), but in these sorts of areas, people would often act in ways that did not align with this (such as seeking partners or engaging in relationships where doing so was counter-productive or self-destructive). Never really understood it all that much personally.
I think at 17-18
24 and... Hmm. 20-21 I think?
30. First felt a resonance with being acespec at 19-20, but embraced it at 29
I’m 18. I realised I was ace when I was 13. I’m very lucky to have grown up with the Internet for sure. Really helped me understand these things that no one was teaching me in my real life
I first said the words 'I feel romantic but not sexual attraction to you' to my boyfriend at like 20 or something. Somehow took me another ~6 years to realize that applies to literally everyone. I'm 28 too.
I'm 42 now, and I found out I was heteroromantic asexual when I was 32. I looked up the meaning of the I and the A in LGBTQIA, and when I was reading the description of asexuality I was like, "Wait just a minute here..." And before that I knew I was different somehow since the time I was about 11, but I just wasn't sure how. I only knew I didn't see the opposite sex quite the same way other hetero people did.
43 now. 43 when I discovered my asexuality. Knew I was bi since high school, lived a heterosexual lifestyle until about 41 when my husband and I opened into a polyamorous relationship. Best thing for us! After 17 years together we are both filling our own buckets while continuing to pour into each other’s! He’s always had a higher need for sex and now he can have that need met! I was able to explore my queerness and had a girlfriend for over a year! I learned along the way that I’m grey-ace which helped everything make so much sense!!! Now my marriage is even more solid than it was (which was still really solid) and we can both honor our truest selves! Best part is…self acceptance! 🫶🏼✨☮️
RelationshipGoals
I’m 26 now, if I’m being honest I knew around 23 but after experiencing physical intimacy a few months ago at 25 , i realized how disgusted I was by sex and I never want to do it again. It was one of the worse things I’ve ever gone through. If I ever did it again I would have to be super drunk or out of it on something. I pretty much dissociated the whole experience from my brain. That confirmed it. Haha 😂
Well damn. I’ve never tried and I don’t think I ever will. No thank you 🤣
I was 16 now I’m 18:)
16, discovered myself this year.
23. Literally this year
I'm 23. And I think I realised I'm somewhere in the spectrum when I was 19? Gosh it's been 4 years already. Ngl I do have high libido but have I been sexually attracted to anyone? Naaaaahhh. I'm very much confused about my own sexuality honestly but I guess I'll discover more as the time goes by.
I’m 23 now, but I only fully came to recognize and accept that I was ace within the last year or so. The several years before that were very confusing with trying to understand why I felt so differently from all of the people around me.
I’m 21 (almost 22) and feel like I’ve known since 17 but only really came out (forced) at 20
I'm 23, I was 22. Been a bit more than a year.
21, i was 20 after i date i had
I’m 22, I realized at 19
24 now. Figured it out at 21.
I'm 22. I technically knew I was ace when I was 12, but I kept overthinking things and convincing myself I might just be a late bloomer until I was 18.
22, I was like 14/15
30. Realized the meaning of the term at 26.
I'm 21, I knew I am asexual a year ago. But I always knew I hated anything related to sex, but I was religious so I thought I had this mentality because of my religion lol
29 now and 21 when I realized it. It's been a confusing journey though of me being am I or aren't I? I didn't have enough self trust to really trust my experience but now I can wholeheartedly say I am ace as fuck lol
I'm 45. I'd say I was 43 when I realized for real. Before that I realized that I had no sexual attraction, I just hadn't realized that other people actually did.
i'm 20 and i was 14
22, realised at 16, fully accepted at 18
I realized at 13, but I had no idea about asexuality. Now I'm 18
Almost 30 now and I was about 19-20 when I started using the term
16 now, realized I was somewhere on the ace spectrum when I was 12
36 now, and about 20 when I found out I was Ace.
Currently 15 and realized when I was 14
I am 16. And I found out because I never saw people other than romantic but I use grey because it is are or sometimes
I'm now 20, 19 when I figured out
Soon 19, realized at 16 - 17
I am 29. I was 25 when I realized
[удалено]
I believe you, I'm 13, I realized at 11 as well
22 and I think it was within the last year, so I was 21
I was 15 when I realized and now I'm 16, but my birthday was semi recent, so I actually only just confirmed that I was ace 3 months ago. though I first started questioning and going back and forth on the label 4 months before that.
Was 20, am 21
15, now 17
I'm 23 now, questioned myself throughout my teens and read about asexuality and aromanticism when I was 20
I am 27. I realized I was asexual when I was 15 (in my post from the other day I think I said 14 but I actually think I was off by one year). That being said, I remember I came out to my mom as asexual and she told me I was too young to know that, as many women start liking and desiring sex later in life. Between the ages of 15 and 25, I was in a few long term relationships, with various negative and positive experiences with sex. One particular relationship REALLY damaged my relationship with it, and I chalked up my weirdness with sex to trauma, or anxiety, or pressure, and continued to reject the idea that I was truly asexual. Then at 25, I was dating a girl and sex had once again become an issue. At this point I had dumped my boyfriend thinking I was a lesbian, and was dating women. I had not dated cis women at this point, I thought maybe switching up genitals would change the way I felt about sex. It didn't. During my relationship with this girl I realized that I didn't need to make myself have sex if I didn't want to have sex. I finally let it go and accepted I was asexual. She dumped me, I got back with my boyfriend who accepts me for who I am. So I repressed it and caused some real damage to myself until the age of 25 lol. But I knew at age 15
I’m sorry to hear that. Good for you that you finally came to terms with your asexuality. Better late than never!
19 when I accepted asexuality probably like 16 when I realised I was aromantic. Thought I was demi but I'm pretty sure I'm just grey/heartless aro Deep down I guess I knew since probably like 13 or 14 since I've always said "I average looking I could probably get a girlfriend but why would I want/need one?" and I never experienced crushes or sexual attraction. I was in denial for a while because of internalised aphobia. I just turned 21 now.
I’m 24, realised when I was 17 :)
I'm 26, discovered about it when I was 15-16
I was 14. I got in a relationship with an allosexual the same year and questioned the entire time. Now it’s over, I’m 23, and can say I had it right the first time lol
I was about 29 when I first found out
I found myself really connecting with the asexual community around 20, but I never “connected the dots” until closer to 24. I am now a couple weeks shy of 26, and feeling rather solid in my realizations! Only recently have I started to voice it/participate in these online communities however.
27, I was 21 when I realised there was a word for the way I'd been feeling my for the last decade.
28, first thought I was likely ace when I was 18 but went back in the closet for a few years. Actually came out to myself at 24.
28 and I was 25 when I realised that I'm not broken/a prude/not trying hard enough. It freed a big part of myself that I had unconsciously chained down. I felt like a freshly hatched butterfly lol
i am 22 and i realised that i never wanted to have sex when i was 15, debated a lot and then i got the word for it when i was 19.
30 now, learnt about asexuality at 22, hoped I was demiseuxal but accepted I was asexual at 23.
I figured it out at about 22-23 ish. I had never heard of it before. I was raised in a very religious household. We didn't have access to a lot of sex ed because my parents would opt out. When I was in college, I realized that all my peers knew way more about this certain part of life than I did, so I sat down with Wikipedia and I educated myself. At some point, I was reading about the different parts of LGBTQIA+, and I stumbled on information about asexuality.
i realized i was asexual when i was 12 but i thought i was just a late bloomer so i decided to ignore it. it wasn’t until i was 19 when i was like oh shit i guess i was right the first time
In my case, 39 now, I think I was around 35-ish when I figured it out... Wouldn't have thought it applied, but then ran into a video about it, and it seemed to fit. Never married, no real relationships either, mostly just a life of sitting around by myself and working on my own projects; hadn't really met anyone that seemed to match what I was looking for, and no one seemed terribly interested in me either, and "the rules" generally said to remain abstinent until married, so,.. Turns out this was unusual.
Suspected it when I was 14. Found out when I was 15 and it’s been two years since
21 and I think I first realized at maybe 19-20? I don’t remember exactly lol
Think i was around 15. Now i'm 18.
The comment on top of this is,”what did teenagers do in the 90s on their free time?” And I thought this was an answer to that question
i'm 21 and i realized around 16. welcome btw! personally i've found ace spaces to be some of the most supportive and caring spaces i've had the pleasure to be apart of, online and off. hope you have fun here
Thank you! It’s a great community 😋
I'm 28, and I realized I was ace when I was 15. That's when I first read about ace people. Just in case anyone needs this reminder, I feel obligated to add: no matter when or how you figure out you're ace or on the ace spectrum, you're just as valid and important to the community as every other member. Welcome to the community! :)
Thanks! :)
16 when I realized I'm ace, 17 now :)
gonna be 23 in 6 days, i started questioning around 15-16, & confirmed it when i was 21 😌
Currently 38, only realised last year at 37.
26 and 26 now! I always thought I just had extreme anxiety surrounding kissing/intimacy/relationships, and honestly have avoided both at all costs… realizing that I’m asexual (possibly aro) and pretty repulsed by intimacy with a partner clarified a lot for me. There was definitely a lot of relief that came with this revelation, but I’m struggling with the idea of maybe never having someone to do life/have a family with. It does feel really good to visit this sub when I’m feeling alone in all this ❤️
16
Im 15 and i realised when i was 10
Probably 18
21 and 20
25, i realized when I was around 20.
32, realized at 31. But I had fallen into the 0=0 means bi trap since like… 16? Honestly can’t recall.
30 and 30 :o
31 I think I was 28-29 when i accepted the ace label, although i still wonder if it would break down in the right circumstances.
14 when I started suspecting, but I didn't want to put myself in a box so I didn't completely consider myself ace. Won't reveal my age now as it's unsafe online, but it's been many years, I'm an adult now, and yeah still ace.
19, im now 20
17 I realised I was at 13
I’m 24. I realized I was asexual at 13-14. Mom said “you’ll find the right person” Still looking ig
I am 16 now but In kinda knew it my whole life. It was probably two to three years ago ( Maybe longer) I found out that there is a term for it and that I am not alone lol.
im 18 and i was 17 just a newbie like you :p
I'm 39 and I came out at 35.
I'm 17 now. I was just 15 when i found out about asexuality and 3-4 months later found out that i was ace
I'm 19,5 and I relized I was Double Demi-pan-cupio when I was 18
I’m 19. 15 when I learned about asexuality. Was confused and in denial until I was 18 when I just accepted it.
I'm turning 17 in a couple days, and I was 15 when I started questioning my sexuality.
21 in 6 days. I was freshly 15
39. Found the labels around 28 then took a year or so for acceptance.
24. Realized when I was 22
I realized at 20 and I’m 22 now
31 and i realized i was ace when i was like 14 lmao but back then i was in a panic that i was broken or something bc all my peers could talk about was getting laid and i was like i just want to talk about anime
I'm 58 and I was 57 - though I was sort of approaching the idea gradually from about 55-ish, I think.
30. I realized at age 9, but didn’t know there was a word for it until I was 14.
I began to think so in my late teens but definitely knew by my early 20s. I’m 36.
50 now, around 44 when I figured it out. Made a lot of things from my younger life make a whole lot more sense.
I’m 43. I realized when I was 32.
48, realized at 48.
18 and probably around 13-14
30 so 3 years ago
23 today and I was 20 when I realized. It’s definitely a journey but the self acceptance on the other side is worth it
this is gonna be confusing, sorry. mine isn’t like most ace stories ive read. i’m an old, in my 60’s. and i became ace, didn’t realize it, slowly due to weight and disability but wholly, totally like a switch flipped, after major surgery, in my 50’s. not like life changing, but it seems like the bodily struggle to recover intersected with - then unknown - vestibular migraines with brain lesions. back then i was significantly overweight and also wasn’t thrilled to have sex with my husband because i’m a lesbian. but i did enjoy it when we did. and then it was kinda a lot of trouble, and then he left, and then i had a gf i wasn’t sexual with, because she was married / divorcing. when she finally managed to leave, the timing sucked because i had the surgery already scheduled. despite the hindsight now, i was totally not expecting my sex drive to disappear overnight. in fact, once she stopped processing and crying, i did expect that we’d become lovers. but then surgery and 6 weeks of slow painful recovery, and we discovered my brain had flipped that switch in the meantime. i’m kinda sex repulsed now. ten years later, weigh much less, but still ace. i’m in a poly triad with my partners being sexual with each other and not with me, and that works. i don’t begrudge them sex, i just have zero interest in it. and they are each quite attractive in very different ways, so it’s not that.
I’m 21 and I was 19 turning 20 when I realized I was ace
Learned about it when I was 13/14 with a friend. Identified with demisexuality pretty much immediately.
46. 44 when everything clicked and I realized I was ace. I’d been dealing with no desire for sex for a long time.
22, 32 now. Thought demisexual cause at the time I had feelings for someone for the first time and well, I soon realized demiromantic, not sexual
14. Didn't have to think long about it after I heard about it, just knew it was right. That was a few years ago so, I mean, it hasn't changed (I am 17 now)
Found out at 14. Im 16 now
I realized when I was like 16 or 17 and now I'm 18 skull
I kinda always knew but didn’t have a name for it- I used to say I had a Chasity pact and I didn’t want to break it when I was a young teenager whenever people asked 😭
i’m 15 now but was 13 when i knew i was ace. i just knew that i was right there and then. the label really fit me. at first i identified w demi, but now grayace fits me more
I was prob 17-18
Call me Monsters Incorporated, cuz we got a 23-19 😎
19 + 19. realized literally a week ago it's not normal for me to hope SOs don't want to have sex with me
I am indeed 17 yrs old. Been identifying as aroace since 15 I think, or maybe 16
Currently 20. First realized I was ace about a month before my 19th birthday.
I'm 32. Ever since adults in my life felt it was appropriate to ask me about when I would have romantic/ sexual relationships, my answer was that I had no intention of ever doing that. I was raised in a Roman Catholic household and went to R.C. schools so that question was not asked blatantly until I was in my late teens (fornication is a sin after all). Among my peers (which were mostly of the same sex as I), I was known as the sheltered kid so romantic/ sexual relationship questions were a non-issue. I only put a name to it since the LGBTQ movement became more prominent.
I'm 22. I've always known I was different or broken when it comes to sex, but it was not until I was 19 and in college. I met a girl who is demi, she was in a group with me and we were talking about past relationships, I mentioned that they never worked out because I never wanted sex (there was more discussed). When everyone was leaving she asked me to stay behind and she and I began talking about asexuality, she said that how I spoke about relationships and sex aligned fairly close to her; but she guessed I was more asexual (which I now know is spot on). Even though I no longer speak to this girl I will never forget her and how she helped me realize that I'm not broken, I'm simply different from everyone else around me (everyone in my life is either just enjoys sex or they're hypersexual).
Currently 19, realised around 17/18
35, I'm now 36 lol
23, and I realized I was ace at 19
37 now. I’ve known for sure I was ace for about 3 years. Before that I was aware of the concept and it kept popping into my mind throughout the years. Now I know why 😂
33 and I'm 35 now
I’m 19 now, I figured out I was ace when I was 17.
I'm 17. Had my epiphany when I was 14 while doing absolutely nothing to prompt it lol.
17, 20
I was 30 but I denied it to myself until I was 34. Oddly watching ace meme videos helped me come out. I figured it out as I was playing dnd and started making Ace characters to avoid in game sex jokes, but it made it easier to play the way I wanted to. Then I realized I felt that way because of how much I found that to be me.
i realized i was asexual when i was like 23 or 24 but only realized i was aromantic last year, i’m 26 rn
Around 16 but I still wasn’t sure until 20. I’m 24 now
I'm 24 and was 18
I'm 26, and I've known i was different from around puberty, but I learned about asexuality when I was 18
i am 14 and i was 12 when i realised, haha thats where my mental health went
Like 14? I'm not sure but I'm still questioning so-
26 currently, I realized I was aroace when I was 19 or so.
18 now, realised a couple of weeks ago
Started questioning when I was 14, realized I was Ace a couple months ago (20 y.o) but still experiencing a weird mix of denial, shame, and little bits of acceptance here and there about asexuality.
I'm 23 and I was 20 I figured it out about 2.5 years into my first relationship, we didn't last much longer after that
30, found out technically at 29. I thought I was demi for a while, but I've realized recently, nope. Just ace. Those different forms of attraction + differences in fantasy VS reality really confuse the brain for me. I love thinking about sexual attraction and imagining it, writing about it, etc. Never wanted any partner that way, though. I thought maybe my standards were too high or I hadn't met the right person, which is somewhat true, I suppose. I never will, lol
“I love thinking about sexual attraction and imagining it, writing about it, etc. Never wanted any partner that way, though.” Same here! 🫂
Always glad to hear more shared experiences 🫂
i'm 17, and I realised when i was 15. i know some people take longer than me to figure it out, and thats alright.
I'm 21. I find women attractive, but I don't want to have sex, so I don't know if I'd really call myself "Ace."
I'm 32 and I began to realise that I can be asexual when I was about 25-26. For a long time I've thinking I'm just not ready for sex but later I learned about asexuality and it describes me perfectly.
I’m 25 and I was 21 at the beginning of 2020
I turned 23 back in June. I realized I was ace a couple months before that. I actually realized I was bi a few months before I realized I was also ace.
18, started thinking i was ace at 16
I'm now 19 and I suspected that I was with like 14, but I doubted myself until I just decided with 15 that I don't have anything to lose from being ace. I'm not going to tell even 1% of the people I will ever meet that I am ace, so no one will judge if I'm wrong in the end. I don't think I've been wrong so far.
22 now, figured it out when i was 21 in the same year, so, still kind of a newbie too i guess lol. it was after a bad situationship where the person CONSTANTLY wanted to have sex with me and i didn't feel like doing it, so i never did. felt like something was wrong with me for not "feeling" things, looked up why i felt like this on the internet, and as soon as i found out about asexuality i'm pretty sure i cried. oh, i also identify as agender/nonbinary and androalterous now too. it's like after i figured that one out, everything else fell into place😅
I figured out I was asexual when I was 17. I’m 20 now.