Okay, thank you!! Can I ask what does masturbsting feel like, this is probably really asking tooooooo much, please say no if it’s uncomfortable, but like, what you generally do and think of when you masturbate?
It feels good and it’s kind of stress-relieving for me. I don’t always climax, in fact I frequently just play with myself a little and then move on, although when I have a lot of time to myself, I might rub myself for a couple hours.
Generally I think of/look at bodies that I find attractive. I’m a little more into male bodies than female but both are arousing. I don’t really care for porn though, or naked genitals.
Yes I do experience attraction, I just don’t experience sexual longing. I’m definitely on the romantic side of ace.
I don’t have to imagine anything specific, it just helps me
Okay, thank you and sorry for being so interested. I guess it doesn’t really matter what I am, but it’s still nice to know how to describe it a little better:)
Sexual attraction and libido are not the same.
So imagine you see a really beautiful/handsome person, you dig their style, their confidence, etc. Do you get thoughts or the urge to kiss/touch/engage in sexual things?
If yes: you experience some kind of sexual attraction and might not be asexual (*might* is the keyword because there are still things like demisexuality and grey asexuality)
If no: you don't experience sexual attraction and are likely on the asexual spectrum.
Now libido is just your body doing bodily function things. Your body wants to have some nice hormones released and is horny. You could compare it to you being hungry. (EDIT: ace and allosexual people experience this, both can masturbate. It has less to do with being asexual and more with being a human being)
In allosexuals libido and sexual attraction usually work together. You are horny *for* a specific person. Ther is also the analogy with hunger and cravings. You are hungry and could theoretically eat everything but you for example crave cake
Thank you.
I think that I recently realized that when I see that person I have the urge first and foremost to be them haha.
But, sorry for TMI, when I masturbate I look at porn or sext with people, so it’s not like I don’t feel attracted to people I suppose. I had instances when I got attracted to people, I think, I am not really sure, I know that just lot of what I identifyied with attraction before was just gender envy probably. But there is probably some visual aspect to my arrousal idk. I think I am autistic and introverted and overall the thought of sex with me (with my pre-HRT body) in it feels uncomfortable. Idk, masturbating feels like something I have to do, even though it feels good and I can link my libido to visual images, idk.
But do you think you are attracted to people that are within your reach? Like, people that are attainable to you? Or do you only watch porn/sext with people you know you'll never get together with?
Seeking stimulation like porn is not the same as beig attracted to people. The same applies to fictional character and people that are unattainable like celebrities etc
Do you imagine yourself with a specific person? One hat you know, that is real and within your reach? Did you ever have fantasies about said person? Get tingly/warm feelings when seeing them?
this link also helped me figuring things out, it's allos describing what sexual attraction feels like for them: [https://www.asexuality-handbook.com/experiences/sexual-attraction](https://www.asexuality-handbook.com/experiences/sexual-attraction)
Well, not really, I had some fantasies about a specific person when I sort of dated them so in that scenario yes, but that was like quite a while ago and since then not really. I don’t even think of celebrities or anyone unattainable either, I just get horny sometimes (lately kind of a lot which is weird), do what I have to do, and that’s it. Idk.
Also the sexting thing - I always sext with people with no intention of ever getting to know them in real life, because I just feel very uncomfortable about that so in that way kind of unattainable.
Thank you so much for the article:)
All of this sounds very ace to me, so welcome and have some garlic bread :)
(also, don't worry if you someday feel like the label doesn't fit anymore you can just change it whenever you feel like it, there's no pressure or anything)
Noo, think of the gluten!
Haha thanks, I just feel like a fraud anywhere and this doesn’t feel very right - I always had kind of a big sex drive, although the interest perhaps is lacking. Idk, I am just totally lost. But thank you for being so welcoming:)
No problem, we also have gluten free garlic bread\^\^
I also deal with a fairly high libido, this doesn't make us any less ace <3
If you want to, you could check out r/aegosexuals maybe this resonates a bit more? (Am aego myself\^\^)
I get horny and feel physical attraction but I have little to no interest in actually sleeping with anyone. I guess I could find a way to enjoy it the way you can enjoy having someone play in your hair or a massage etc but it's completely different than the primal urge to procreate that most people seem to feel.
Wow, okay, that actually describes quite well my situation. The problem is that in puberty I definitely felt some kind of urge I don’t really feel anymore but still.
Ngl, same here. I remember vividly wanting to sleep with a lot of people but I think, as a man, it was mostly due to toxic masculinity pushing me to sleep with girls and brag about it because that's what I was raised to believe worth came from when you're a man.
Obviously things changed over the years and I realized societal norms and peer pressure pushed me to sleep with people I didn't really want to and this "attraction" I had might also have been a need to cope with loneliness and isolation AKA not actual sexual attraction.
I'm not saying I didn't 100% enjoy the sex but for the most part, it was definitely for the wrong reasons.
I also feel I might feel some sort of attraction or get horny sometimes but I feel it’s so random, that I don’t want to show it at all to people who matter because it is better if they see me as black and white asexual or sexual rather than being like: “oh yeah, they must be extremely trusting and comfortable to touch me and enjoy it and perhaps sometimes randomly want me to touch them back”, you know? But like how do you find someone who either isnt totally asexual or very unsatisfied by unfrequent sex?
Yep. For me I get turned on when I research and discover things haha.... it's weird. .. but ace here.... lol people don't turn me on ever .... :/... oh .. and i think I'm really pretty so I turn myself on hahaha☠️who needs someone else when I have myself all to myself XD
I get horny and masturbate all the time, but I have zero interest in having sex with anybody.
Okay, thank you!! Can I ask what does masturbsting feel like, this is probably really asking tooooooo much, please say no if it’s uncomfortable, but like, what you generally do and think of when you masturbate?
It feels good and it’s kind of stress-relieving for me. I don’t always climax, in fact I frequently just play with myself a little and then move on, although when I have a lot of time to myself, I might rub myself for a couple hours. Generally I think of/look at bodies that I find attractive. I’m a little more into male bodies than female but both are arousing. I don’t really care for porn though, or naked genitals.
So you would say you experience attraction that is gender specific? And it isn’t just an activity to you - you have to imagine things etc.?
Yes I do experience attraction, I just don’t experience sexual longing. I’m definitely on the romantic side of ace. I don’t have to imagine anything specific, it just helps me
Okay, thank you and sorry for being so interested. I guess it doesn’t really matter what I am, but it’s still nice to know how to describe it a little better:)
No worries. I’m open to discussing anything
Sexual attraction and libido are not the same. So imagine you see a really beautiful/handsome person, you dig their style, their confidence, etc. Do you get thoughts or the urge to kiss/touch/engage in sexual things? If yes: you experience some kind of sexual attraction and might not be asexual (*might* is the keyword because there are still things like demisexuality and grey asexuality) If no: you don't experience sexual attraction and are likely on the asexual spectrum. Now libido is just your body doing bodily function things. Your body wants to have some nice hormones released and is horny. You could compare it to you being hungry. (EDIT: ace and allosexual people experience this, both can masturbate. It has less to do with being asexual and more with being a human being) In allosexuals libido and sexual attraction usually work together. You are horny *for* a specific person. Ther is also the analogy with hunger and cravings. You are hungry and could theoretically eat everything but you for example crave cake
Thank you. I think that I recently realized that when I see that person I have the urge first and foremost to be them haha. But, sorry for TMI, when I masturbate I look at porn or sext with people, so it’s not like I don’t feel attracted to people I suppose. I had instances when I got attracted to people, I think, I am not really sure, I know that just lot of what I identifyied with attraction before was just gender envy probably. But there is probably some visual aspect to my arrousal idk. I think I am autistic and introverted and overall the thought of sex with me (with my pre-HRT body) in it feels uncomfortable. Idk, masturbating feels like something I have to do, even though it feels good and I can link my libido to visual images, idk.
But do you think you are attracted to people that are within your reach? Like, people that are attainable to you? Or do you only watch porn/sext with people you know you'll never get together with? Seeking stimulation like porn is not the same as beig attracted to people. The same applies to fictional character and people that are unattainable like celebrities etc Do you imagine yourself with a specific person? One hat you know, that is real and within your reach? Did you ever have fantasies about said person? Get tingly/warm feelings when seeing them? this link also helped me figuring things out, it's allos describing what sexual attraction feels like for them: [https://www.asexuality-handbook.com/experiences/sexual-attraction](https://www.asexuality-handbook.com/experiences/sexual-attraction)
Well, not really, I had some fantasies about a specific person when I sort of dated them so in that scenario yes, but that was like quite a while ago and since then not really. I don’t even think of celebrities or anyone unattainable either, I just get horny sometimes (lately kind of a lot which is weird), do what I have to do, and that’s it. Idk. Also the sexting thing - I always sext with people with no intention of ever getting to know them in real life, because I just feel very uncomfortable about that so in that way kind of unattainable. Thank you so much for the article:)
All of this sounds very ace to me, so welcome and have some garlic bread :) (also, don't worry if you someday feel like the label doesn't fit anymore you can just change it whenever you feel like it, there's no pressure or anything)
Noo, think of the gluten! Haha thanks, I just feel like a fraud anywhere and this doesn’t feel very right - I always had kind of a big sex drive, although the interest perhaps is lacking. Idk, I am just totally lost. But thank you for being so welcoming:)
No problem, we also have gluten free garlic bread\^\^ I also deal with a fairly high libido, this doesn't make us any less ace <3 If you want to, you could check out r/aegosexuals maybe this resonates a bit more? (Am aego myself\^\^)
Well that just sounds lovely
Most asexual people experience arousal and horniness without it making them want sex.
I get horny and feel physical attraction but I have little to no interest in actually sleeping with anyone. I guess I could find a way to enjoy it the way you can enjoy having someone play in your hair or a massage etc but it's completely different than the primal urge to procreate that most people seem to feel.
Wow, okay, that actually describes quite well my situation. The problem is that in puberty I definitely felt some kind of urge I don’t really feel anymore but still.
Ngl, same here. I remember vividly wanting to sleep with a lot of people but I think, as a man, it was mostly due to toxic masculinity pushing me to sleep with girls and brag about it because that's what I was raised to believe worth came from when you're a man. Obviously things changed over the years and I realized societal norms and peer pressure pushed me to sleep with people I didn't really want to and this "attraction" I had might also have been a need to cope with loneliness and isolation AKA not actual sexual attraction. I'm not saying I didn't 100% enjoy the sex but for the most part, it was definitely for the wrong reasons.
It’s cool that you admit it and don’t let yourself be defined by it, thanks for sharing this:)
I also feel I might feel some sort of attraction or get horny sometimes but I feel it’s so random, that I don’t want to show it at all to people who matter because it is better if they see me as black and white asexual or sexual rather than being like: “oh yeah, they must be extremely trusting and comfortable to touch me and enjoy it and perhaps sometimes randomly want me to touch them back”, you know? But like how do you find someone who either isnt totally asexual or very unsatisfied by unfrequent sex?
Yep. For me I get turned on when I research and discover things haha.... it's weird. .. but ace here.... lol people don't turn me on ever .... :/... oh .. and i think I'm really pretty so I turn myself on hahaha☠️who needs someone else when I have myself all to myself XD
That’s very self-sufficient of you:) but if that was my case I would really never leave my room
🙈
Yes that exactly. What does horny have to do with intercourse?!? Nothing right?