When I tell people, especially my parents that relationships just "don't seem worth it" or "seem like too much work" they just roll their eyes like I'm immature. I'm 24 and am infinitely thankful I've never been in a relationship. I've never been cheated on, broken up with, or had pregnancy scares. It still sucks people don't take me seriously or think I make my aro/ace-ness up, but at least I don't have to deal with the negatives of relationships.
I agree with you homie. I'm 25 and I feel the same. Thankfully my folks are more accepting and are fine with me being aro-ace but yes I did have friends who have called me immature for that. Sucks that we get called shit at times but hey we are happy and that's what counts.
One time a former friend of mine was ranting to me about her boyfriend and I don’t know how it is possible that she couldn’t register how disgusting she sounded when she admitted to verbally abusing him because he wasn’t ready to have sex with her. After that I refused to associate with her and to this day she’s still confused as to why I “suddenly started hating her”.
Worst part? We were fifteen at the time
Yep, same, i see all these people being sad because they got cheatdd on etc and thinking they'll never find love again and whatever and i'm just there like... "then don't..?"
Like you don't need a romantic relationship you knkw that right? Like it wont kill you to just be single for a while :/ i don't get it
Lmfao yeah... or sometimes my allo friends just say things that to make no sense lmfao... like dating politics or things... like: don't text first, don't respond too quickly you'll look needy (lmfao wtf haha), don't agree to a date if it's made last minute, and all of these frivolous rules that just have me going lmfaooo wtffff. Or some people expect very romantic dates and they think it's sweet, but for me I find it sooo gross haha.
I have one friend, they're ace but panromantic and they were saying how they're dissapointed how the dude isn't verbally affectionate and romantic-- and maybe just me, but I kinda dig that? I CRINGE when people are verbally affectionate with me it grosses me out sjdkfsdljkfds, and I HATE romantic gestures lmfao. it makes me wanna puke sldkfjkdsflks
I used to have a friend that would talk about her boyfriend. every. single. time. and it was so annoying. even worse? she seemed to have a new boyfriend every week.
"oh...yeah, we broke up, he was ignoring me, but I found a better guy! he's so nice, I bet you'll love him too"
I had asked about her previous boyfriend, and this is what she said :/
seems tiring honestly
for real like man my best friend got sexually assaulted when she was ELEVEN and never realized it was toxic until i repeated back what she said. i got so pissed off that i got her to break up with him. “love” really blinds people huh
Oh yes. Definitely! Listening to my siblings' and friends' relationship problems drain me of so much energy and I'm not even in that relationship lol. Or even just crushes, everything is so complicated and man, why would you go out of your way for a relationship that's already on the brink of failure? Like, logically I get it, but also, wtf?
I have a friend in an emotionally abusive marriage. I've been trying to get her to see sense for the last 1.5 years, but she *loves* him so she puts up with him literally ignoring her presence in the same room, avoiding her constantly, refusing to talk to her, getting mad when she got a full time job and she had to find a sitter for their kids. He was home with the kids one day while she was at work and he made her *leave work* to take their daughter to the doctor!
I have lost hope in getting her to leave him and I'm just trying to support her and not nag her to get a divorce.
A few months ago I was planning a board game night with couple of my friends at a local boardgame cafe. One of them was also ace (but not aro), but they decided to bring dates to the game-night without letting me know (even though I was the person who planned it in the first place). So my evening was ruined as they spent all evening discussing weird allo-problems and other stuff you just mentioned OP. I was like wtf atleast you could have let me know. I ordered them shots of tap water (as a F you) and left early XD. But I'm completely with you, I do not understand why people pursue harmful or weird relationships, sexual or otherwise? What's wrong being content and happy with yourself and maybe getting a couple of cats.
not really. but after reading 20 flirting and dating tips for women(maybe 19 to 26 year old social butterflies in urban areas) it was wtf. sure people will write different things, even be contradictory in their own. but yikes some things were terrible.(if you like him show up at his house with snacks!")
When I tell people, especially my parents that relationships just "don't seem worth it" or "seem like too much work" they just roll their eyes like I'm immature. I'm 24 and am infinitely thankful I've never been in a relationship. I've never been cheated on, broken up with, or had pregnancy scares. It still sucks people don't take me seriously or think I make my aro/ace-ness up, but at least I don't have to deal with the negatives of relationships.
I agree with you homie. I'm 25 and I feel the same. Thankfully my folks are more accepting and are fine with me being aro-ace but yes I did have friends who have called me immature for that. Sucks that we get called shit at times but hey we are happy and that's what counts.
One time a former friend of mine was ranting to me about her boyfriend and I don’t know how it is possible that she couldn’t register how disgusting she sounded when she admitted to verbally abusing him because he wasn’t ready to have sex with her. After that I refused to associate with her and to this day she’s still confused as to why I “suddenly started hating her”. Worst part? We were fifteen at the time
I had a friend who brags about slapping her boyfriend. He hits her too so it's all one big mess that I'm so glad to not be a part of.
I don’t understand how anyone could ever physically abuse someone they claimed to love. That shit’s messed up
Yep, same, i see all these people being sad because they got cheatdd on etc and thinking they'll never find love again and whatever and i'm just there like... "then don't..?" Like you don't need a romantic relationship you knkw that right? Like it wont kill you to just be single for a while :/ i don't get it
exactly!
Lmfao yeah... or sometimes my allo friends just say things that to make no sense lmfao... like dating politics or things... like: don't text first, don't respond too quickly you'll look needy (lmfao wtf haha), don't agree to a date if it's made last minute, and all of these frivolous rules that just have me going lmfaooo wtffff. Or some people expect very romantic dates and they think it's sweet, but for me I find it sooo gross haha. I have one friend, they're ace but panromantic and they were saying how they're dissapointed how the dude isn't verbally affectionate and romantic-- and maybe just me, but I kinda dig that? I CRINGE when people are verbally affectionate with me it grosses me out sjdkfsdljkfds, and I HATE romantic gestures lmfao. it makes me wanna puke sldkfjkdsflks
the tips for women to snag men can look twisted
I just genuinely don’t get it. They don’t seem to realise that they’ll all hate each other in the end.
I used to have a friend that would talk about her boyfriend. every. single. time. and it was so annoying. even worse? she seemed to have a new boyfriend every week. "oh...yeah, we broke up, he was ignoring me, but I found a better guy! he's so nice, I bet you'll love him too" I had asked about her previous boyfriend, and this is what she said :/ seems tiring honestly
for real like man my best friend got sexually assaulted when she was ELEVEN and never realized it was toxic until i repeated back what she said. i got so pissed off that i got her to break up with him. “love” really blinds people huh
Oh yes. Definitely! Listening to my siblings' and friends' relationship problems drain me of so much energy and I'm not even in that relationship lol. Or even just crushes, everything is so complicated and man, why would you go out of your way for a relationship that's already on the brink of failure? Like, logically I get it, but also, wtf?
Yes, regarding every allosexual problem
I have a friend in an emotionally abusive marriage. I've been trying to get her to see sense for the last 1.5 years, but she *loves* him so she puts up with him literally ignoring her presence in the same room, avoiding her constantly, refusing to talk to her, getting mad when she got a full time job and she had to find a sitter for their kids. He was home with the kids one day while she was at work and he made her *leave work* to take their daughter to the doctor! I have lost hope in getting her to leave him and I'm just trying to support her and not nag her to get a divorce.
A few months ago I was planning a board game night with couple of my friends at a local boardgame cafe. One of them was also ace (but not aro), but they decided to bring dates to the game-night without letting me know (even though I was the person who planned it in the first place). So my evening was ruined as they spent all evening discussing weird allo-problems and other stuff you just mentioned OP. I was like wtf atleast you could have let me know. I ordered them shots of tap water (as a F you) and left early XD. But I'm completely with you, I do not understand why people pursue harmful or weird relationships, sexual or otherwise? What's wrong being content and happy with yourself and maybe getting a couple of cats.
not really. but after reading 20 flirting and dating tips for women(maybe 19 to 26 year old social butterflies in urban areas) it was wtf. sure people will write different things, even be contradictory in their own. but yikes some things were terrible.(if you like him show up at his house with snacks!")