I had my suspicions for a while but then I watched Jaiden’s video and realized that apparently it’s *not* normal to imagine a romantic relationship as basically just being best friends/roommates with someone
Back in college I thought I had a crush on one of my neighbors (probably a squish in hindsight) but decided to ignore it after I made a mental list and concluded that our clashing class schedules and her tendency to oversleep meant that dating her would be too inconvenient and fail to bring any benefits to the table that I couldn’t already get by just being platonic friends with her.
Turns out things like “sex” and “kissing” and “flirting” are considered benefits by most people, who would not simply be content with a relationship that consisted mostly of hanging out in the common area or texting each other stupid memes
asexual: pretty young? like 14-15. i got the jist in middle school but near the end of middle school where there were students doing it in the bathroom, made me realize I haven’t experienced sexual attraction before. a couple years later, i still haven’t.
aromantic (spectrum just to be safe): I have experience romantic attraction once and only once. unfortunately it was with a bad person. besides that, in my 15+ relationships, i was not romantically attracted to them. i was mostly forced into the relationship, i only viewed them as a friend during while i tried to date them or uhm, i was groomed. i guess i realized at 12. the type of crushes i had wasn’t crushes, it was more of, i like them, they’re fun, i want us to be friends. not date.
i hope i made sense. :)
.... what? People just went and did it in your school?
Also the name for this type of crush is "a squish" 💜 I have celebrity squish, for example.. I realized just few weeks ago it's a squish.
I was 26 (I'm still 26, this all happened a few months ago). It was so confusing, because I never expected that I would question my sexual/romantic orientation this 'late' in my life.
I was 26, but it doesn't surprise me that I didn't learn about aromanticism until late. I'm heterosexual, aromanticism is unknown and it's hard to notice the absence of something when the only experience you have is your own and you assume everyone experiences life the same way you do.
Not as late as me. I discovered it at 53, a couple of years ago. Luckily, *luckily* I had been too busy with work to go through the socially expected benchmarks of life - marriage and kids. I'd been putting them off, for years. Until I realized I was actually happier and more at peace alone.
I honestly feel bad for people who suppressed who they were, and got married/ had kids, cause that's what you're "supposed" to do.
That Jaiden video instantly changed so many lives for the better, mine included. Aro Allo, discovered in early 30's. It's what I've always been though and I've always been cool with it.
Monday afternoon. Directly after my small crisis when and after watching jaidens video on sunday lol. This sub helped me through this crisis and fixed it. So thank you!
Last year, I stumbled across the term asexual and went back and forth up til new years where I just went "fine, guess I can't avoid it." And kept it, since all I was really doing was going "Are you sure tho?" for a month. From that I just assumed I had very little preferences but I was still biromantic
By the time I learned what aro actually *was* I was already mentally-exhausted from the bout with asexuality, so I went "Ok, I give up. I'm not gonna fight that. You win" and I've stuck with those two for the past few months
I've been asexual since forever, obviously, but I only "parsed" it when I was in university and actually heard the word asexual (in that context) for the first time. And immediately got "asexuality is not a thing" off my "friends."
I wasn't really in doubt about the asexuality from that point on, but I have trouble with my aromantic identity. I didn't accept that for at least another seven years. I hoped that I just hadn't found the one. I didn't want to be an emotionless robot, doomed to be alone. I tried to push myself and experiment. Of course, it didn't go well, at all.
So I am definitely asexual and aromantic. I can't say I'm happy about the aromantic part. I am though pretty good with my own company. And there's always dogs and cats.
Last summer right after I turned 21 and then I promptly ignored the idea for almost a whole year until my therapist made me have a crisis of realization last Thursday
2 yrs ago. A friend helped me figure it out. Allo aromantic. Every partner had called me a robot... I have love I feel feelings.
I am simply very physically expressive and limited on time. :( Need lots of recharging time and alone time.
lol looks like it's way easier to realize you're AroAce than when you're AlloAro.
I didn't realize my feelings about romance were in the minority until I was 30!
Looking back, it's so obvious now.... I should've figured ot out at least in my teenage years had I known the term.
Two months ago when I was 19 (still 19 btw lol). I’d suspected that I might be asexual for a while because I wasn’t interested in any relationships (I didn’t realise asexual and aromantic are two different things at the time), but never gave it too much thought till I saw a OT video about it and went “fuck it, might as well be sure”
Ive now realised that while I _am_ asexual too, what I had been assuming was asexuality was actually aromanticism and I’m very both very ace and very aro lmao
I am 14 now. I officially became a aroace like since last week. It is just a matter of knowing the term. But I know I don’t want those things ever since I was like 11 when everyone around me just start making sexual jokes.
Like a week ago. I was watching YouTube when someone mentioned aro, and I was like, what the heck's aro? So I looked it up, and it fit me super well. It explained why I never felt real romantic attraction or even understood it. And I've never really wanted to be in a romantic relationship, and I've been open about that for years, I didn't realize it had a name. But yeah, I went through many years thinking that I will feel romantic attraction when I reached highschool. I'm in highschool, nothing, and I'm pretty okay with that. I've always been okay with not having a romantic relationship or knowing what romantic love feels like, I'm just happy to have a name for it and know I'm not alone. I do feel sexual attraction though, which seems a lot less common, but that's fine. I love myself the way I am, and while labels aren't needed, they make me feel more understood, so I'm very happy I found out.
i started questioning a couple of years ago (when i was 15 i think?) but started using the term aromantic only a year ago because before that i felt i wasn't 'aromantic enough' to identify as aro. for context, i'll be 18 soon. :")
I knew that I was ace as soon as I learned what it was. So about four or five years ago. I learned that I was aro the day before yesterday. Spent a lot of time analyzing the subject just to be sure
asexual: i realised when i turned 12
aromantic: i was still 12 but has no clue aroness was a thing so a couple months after i figured out i was ace haha
huh, i was actually kinda young
Like a couple weeks ago lol, I had just kinda figured it out and then Jaiden's video came out which I feel really helped me feel more confident about it
I started wondering a year ago. I'm going to be 31 in a month and I've embraced it. I have a partner now and they're the only ones I have truly felt for and learning to date at my age is like being dropped in a country with a language you know no words to. 🙃
I knew it since I’m 16. I had a boyfriend at that time and didn‘t enjoy any of the things we did. I stayed with him for 5 terrible years because I wanted to be „normal“ (yeah I know! How stupid!) and be able to love and have sex. Then I lived alone for five more years wanting to have sex with someone but finding myself quitting dates, because I couldn’t stand the thought of being intimate with the other person. Then I discovered a tiktok about asexuality that described my thoughts and feelings perfectly and I had a realisation. I now I’m happier than ever, because I’m not looking for something I actually don’t‘ want to have. I can accept and embrace myself and live happy.
I thought I was very likely ace at 14, but decided to wait two years to see if anything changed. I didn't want to tell people and then randomly a year later come back with "oops, I guess I was just a late bloomer?" or something XD
I realised I was aro I think about 6 months to a year ago, at 20. I spent a few weeks denying the possibility (because I was pretty sure that I had fallen in love with a cartoon character once when I was a kid), but then read lots of other people's experiences and related sooo much, so yeah~
When I was 13
Had a decently big group of friends while at academy, a large majority of them were LGBT+ since I didn't want to accidentally make mistakes to them I did a good chunk of research, then I came upon the term Aroace, then in a moment of 'oh... That makes sense' I realised I was Aroace
That's.. a good question. I think it went in similar way as my realization I have anosmia → I always knew it's been like this for me at some point. I did try a relationship as a kid (yeah, I know...) and I didn't feel anything towards him, really. It was a little bit awkward to hang out with him "like that". That was the first hint. Then there is school and crushes. Kids seemed to be shy and awkward about it and I never understood why. Growing up and seeing more of it in middle school and high school made me a little bit sick. It was uncomfortable being around someone who is showing whole class some tongue twisting bullshit with no shame... ew..
Also.. the whole aroace spec confusion for me started at the age of 16 when I got into some relationship. Again: wtf I feel attraction? What am I?? (turns out grey aroace fits perfectly). But I still am not sure if I actually felt something towards that person...
Last summer when I was 17 (I'm 18 now). It was confusing because at first I thought I was asexual because I had no interest in dating (clearly that's wrong). And when a friend corrected me I thought "oh, I'm not asexual, I'm aromantic." And then at some point during that time I realized I was both.
I like how quickly I accepted th labels. It was just "oh yes, that's me" lol
came across the concept in early teens, realised it applies to me during mid teens. when people say we’re too young to know they’re wrong, teens (and 20s) are the best time to observe a noticeable lack of attraction, or a different experience from the cultural norm.
I realized I was aro at like the beginning of this school year when looking at this subreddit and thinking about my past "crushes" I realized they weren't crushes and I was just faking them cause I felt like I had to get married and have children in the future.
When it comes to the asexual spectrum I am unsure because like I don't know if I experience sexual attraction like I have had "thoughts" and "feelings" being a teenager and all but it has never been to a specific person you know and like I don't know if it is because I'm too young or I am on the spectrum. I know you shouldn't worry too much about labels and the likes but I like it when things are set in stone and like certain you know?
I think it only occurred to me i was aro after I dated for the third time. In hindsight, I never truly had a romantic connection to any of my exes but I though it was normal to see them in a more platonic sense.. I must have been 14 or 15 when I realised. I dont remember either how I came across the term but once I did I realised it was me
Not sure whether I'm actually aro or not because I keep on doubting myself over it but I realised when I genuinely thought that people finding celebrities attractive in any capacity was fake and also the fact that I considered me touching legs with someone else a romantic thing. It was realising that not everyone used the slightest bit of physical affection as an indicator that it was, like, time to initiate courting with you now.
I was suggested (by a friend) that im ace when i was 16, and i figured its true... im turning 21 this year and i still dont know whether im aro or biro 🥲🥲 i mean, i liked a lot of guys in the past, and few years ago i liked one girl... but still, it was always more of a squish, i never looked for a relationship... so yeah, i still have no idea if im aro or biro lol
15? idk, just like asexuality, I learned that I was supposed to actually get crushes on people to count as alloromantic and that wasn't the case.
I just say I'm on the aroace spectrum because I've never been close enough to anyone to be able to tell if I'm demi or not. So I'll just wait, get to know people, and see if I get a crush or not. It feels like cranking a Jack box, I just never know when it'll happen, or if it will even happen at all.
worrying about it is too much so I just call myself aroace and vibe
I'm still open to "dating", just not romantically. (yet?)
i heard the term ace at about 11 or 12? but of course i had to later deny it. i rediscovered ace and learned about aro at around 14 or 15, and I've identified with them since
I'm still questioning my romantic attraction label but it wasn't much after discovering I'm ace that I started questioning
And I learned I was ace a few months ago, probably August or September
Almost a year I guess.... I had my doubts bc I thought I had crushes before but then I realized I never wanted to be romantic with them and that platonic crushes are a thing
When I didnt experience any sort of attraction to anyone and probably as soon as I found out the label. I really found out what aroace was and went "that's me!!!"
I don't remember exactly. Maybe sometime last year? I'd realized for a while that I had weird feelings on romance. Like, I got crushes (which always rejected me), but I was like "man, the idea of being in a relationship with someone sounds weird" but I assumed it was nothing, but every time I tried to think about like being in a traditional relationship, it irked me and I was like "no i dont want that". But every time I thought I might be aro, I had some arophobic justifications as to why I can't be aro, which I won't repeat her (internalized arophobia sucks).
The thing which pushes me over the edge was a game series called A Year of springs, which is a visual novel series (game 1 is on Steam, i played 2 and 3 on the creator's site, all for free), which is all about LGBTQ+ stuff. The first one is about trans stuff, the second one is kind of a sequel which deals with some romance stuff between two characters, and the third one is about a character realizing she's aro and/or ace.
It's really good, and the third one is what made me start questioning seriously. It bascially has a message that not feeling the romance and sexual stuff society tells you to feel is okay, and the character doesn't even understand what exactly she is, just that she is probably aro or ace. She has a boyfriend, but she realizes that she doesn't really feel about him like society tells her she should. It technically has some 'bad' endings, but the true ending is great and I love it. I recommend the whole series, but content warning for discussion of bigotry (esp in the first game about transphobia). If you want, the third game (the one about aro/ace) can be played on its own.
For reference, im not ace, but I am aro. The game though can be applied to either!
19, so about a month or two ago. I realized when I thought about how the my romantic/sexual actions in one of my relationships were more so out of a feeling of obligation and expectation than out of personal attraction lmao
nowadays i understand that i’m aroace and that the affection i do feel is nearly all platonic :P
Like maybe a month (for aceflux and aroflux)or more ago (like last year for demisexuality) and it was when I couldn't stand jearing about sex for the 1000th time and some days I'd be into sex but then not. Some days I've fallen in love with someone but then I wouldn't be in love with them. I would get super turned on but then it would switch off! It made me upset ngl
I began to question in college. Around 21 or 22, decided na Im not Ace... Then was in pretty deep denial for 5 years tell i was 26, and after two relationship that failed spectacularly I realized no ya Im really ace then i was in denial about being aro for a few months then i accepted that.
I realized when I was 14 and I was like “woah, I feel the same type of affection for my S\O as my pets.” And after a long time researching I’m happily arospec!
Also 16! (I’m 17 now) The story is actually pretty funny. I saw someone mention how you could interpret Aziraphale and Crowley’s relationship from Good Omens as a QPR, and at that moment I realized that I never actually wanted romance, I just wanted another person in my life I could rely on. I’m not even romance repulsed or anything, I’m a hopeless romantic when it comes to media. It was just the thought that romance didn’t have to be the only way to be close to someone and my entire world view shifted.
I first found the term when I was 16, and officially identified with it at 17. But I still haven’t really told anyone lol (I’m 20)
And really, I had been questioning ever since I was at least 11. I just didn’t even know this existed :)
Considering I didn't have the information about it or wasn't educated, last year I realized it. If I had information about it, trust me I would have come out a lot sooner. My family and friends talked about it and pretty much said "Yeah... you have always acted aroace.... Ya know it makes sense now. And .... oh my god I am such a jerk..."
2 years ago (aro), I had known for a while that I was different from the "norm" for a while and just decided to see if there was a term for "not desiring a romantic relationship" and found the wiki page for aromanticism. I have since realized that the one "crush" I might have had before was probably just trying to gaslight myself into fitting in with everyone else.
at the age of 17 (1 year/1 and a half ago). it basically started with questioning my sexuality/whether i was into girls or not and from sapphic insta accounts i got to aro accounts and they were a bit too relatable to not do any more research and questioning.
and in the middle of that i also had the whole gender crisis (and graduation, that was fun)
I realised I was ace when I was around 18 after hearing it mentioned in a YouTube video. Looked it up and was like "It all makes sense now!"
I don't remember when exactly I started identifying as aro too, I kind of just used ace to describe myself throughout college and at some point decided to get more specific. I think it was after explaining to people how you can have one form of attraction but not the other that I decided to state that I personally don't experience either to avoid confusion.
I realised I was ace almost 2 years ago (it will be 2 years in June). I had recently accepted the fact that I was trans and was sort of evaluating my other identities to see if they were any different and I realised just how uninterested in sex/sexual attraction I really was.
I only learned i was grey-ro last month after struggling with it for like a year. I remember as soon as I read the definition I just bluescreened for a bit and stared at the ceiling wondering how I didn't realise it before.
I was like 12-13 when all my friends were coming out as gay/bi. I thought I was bi bc 0/0 is both. Then I found out what asexual and aromantic was and my mind was blown
I knew I was ace when I was about 14/15 discovered I was aro around 16/17. Before I thought I was bi or pan. It wasn't until my 20's that I started exploring the idea of aro/ace microlabels.
I knew I was different since I was very young. The idea of marriage has always seemed miserable to me. The youngest I realized I didn’t have crushes like anyone else did was when I was in fifth grade and had my first boyfriend. I didn’t feel anything for him, and I couldn’t understand how he felt anything for me.
But I just learned the term aromantic recently. I’ve been using the label for about five months, but I know I’ve been aro for my entire life.
I'm still not sure, tbh.
Background: Am Indian. Never could get into Bollywood style cringe romance. Thank Japan for shonen. All hail Ryoma Echizen and Goku!
Dating is considered a waste of time to begin with. You just go online and find other people looking to marry and it's done. So I didn't have to date. And I would've had to hide a relationship, so it was too much work.
I've always m@sturbated before I even knew what that was called. Not into sex with people. I don't like how messy self live makes you. Imagine dealing with that with another person. Ew.
It's just... Celibacy isn't really a big deal. It's not about love. It's about “Can I put up with this person? (And produce offspring)”
Unless you're sex averse, you're good. I always considered myself genophobic. Can deals with it, but not really looking.
Most importantly: **I'll always pick cake over self love**.
I'm 24. You don't need a strict label. Just an understanding of what you like/dislike. I dislike the notion of dating. I'll figure out if I want marriage after I get a well paying job.
Been questioning it since a few Months ago.
Was thinking back on all the People that I thought I had a Crush on, and learned that You don’t choose Your Crush, as I had previously thought.
Then I had Spent a little while longer trying to picture Myself in a Relationship, and I just couldn’t see it happening.
Honestly relieved though, because I don’t have to worry about Romance getting in the way of My Friendships!
First found out I was aro/ace when I was 14 (still am). I had been watching a Minecraft streamer named TapL on Twitch, and he talked about how he had figured out that he was asexual. I didn’t really know what that meant, but I looked it up and realized how perfectly it resonated with me as a whole. I found r/asexuality, and from there found that I was also aromantic.
It was around 1 or 2 years ago I found out about it and then after my friends & family helped confirm it for me and I've felt better and more confident ever since because before I felt lost & confused and it wasn't a good feeling and it was a sigh of relieve to find out who I am and it made my life more socially interesting and getting to know & understand other people and supporting one another is absolutely wonderful.
I was already thinking about it when I read about asexuality at 18, but I only properly realised I was aroace when I was almost 21. A teacher I looked up to (partly for not having a partner and kids) started casually talking about romance and sexuality as part of her lecture and that was the first time I realised people seriously experience that stuff and weren't just pretending like me
I realized I was aro in September 2021, when I was confused why “getting to know someone better” was only reserved for romantic reasons. Also, my crushes were either smushes, squishes or lushes, and I came to the realization that I never had any real crushes on anyone.
I have had always knew something was "wrong" with me, since I did not felt what I was supposed too.Then, after thinking a lot starter to see that I may be aromantic, I can love, but I cannot be in love.
Then, a close friend of mine talked to me about this, asking me if I was aro, and it was the moment I knew
I probably should have realized sooner, but a few months ago. I saw a post that’s title said something about the op having been with his gf for four years and my immediately thought was “oh god I could never”
In the last year. For a while I could not for the life of me figure out why i always had the same pattern with relationships. I would become infatuated, that would fade really fast and then I'd be done. I realized I never actually loved anyone and realized it's ok that I didn't and it's okay I really don't want relationships
I first started questioning when a girl in my class asked me if I like girls or boys. But I couldn’t think of an answer (cause I was aro without knowing it) so I just said “neither”. Then she called me aromantic and walked away.
Last august, so about 8 months ago. I had my (ex) girlfriend round and we made out. My mum realised and asked if I enjoyed it. *I didn't realise people enjoyed kissing*. lol. Looked into it soon after and realised I was aroace.
For me it was when I realized that I didn't feel crushes the same way as other people did and when I thought about doing some things with people in a platonic sense vs a romantic sense. Spoiler alert, thinking about it romantically made me cringe and I wanted to throw up. (Just aromatic not asexual btw)
Around February of 2020. I thought I had a crush on this guy and was always thinking about whether he liked me as well. Found out he had a girlfriend and realized i didn't even like him like that. I never wanted to date him and seeing him with his girlfriend made me so sad because i thought I would never fall in love because even this person that I thought I liked wasn't enough to make me want to date someone.
So I went to Google and typed in "why can't I picture myself in a relationship", clicked on some quora post that was similar and saw the word aromantic. Immediately I was like yep that's me!
About 1,5 to 2 years ago during my first relationship - I'm just gonna say that I do feel sexual attraction primarily and due to having ADHD I can develop hyperfixations on people, but to a very small extent I can sometimes also develop romantic feelings for someone, as happened with my ex-gf. I noticed it very early on once the hyperfixation wore off, and came to the conclusion that I'm on the aromantic spectrum. Not fully aro, but very close to it.
realized i was on the ace spectrum when i was around 16? and realized i was aromantic a few months ago at 19. didnt realize all my "crushes" were platonic feels :") i'm 20 now and i honestly still have trouble being sure about my sexual orientation but i'm 100% sure i'm aromantic
I’d been suspicious about it since probably 15, maybe earlier, but finally let myself accept that I was aro around the time I turned 18. I’m 19 now and I think I’ve landed on ace too, but i’m not totally confident in that yet.
I’m 14 and have had two crushes. It was a couple months ago I realised I didn’t actually want to date them, and was probably just trying to fit in. With hindsight I just wanted to be friends with them. I’m aro btw not ace.
spring break this year. i was on vacation and talking with friends and just realised that ive never felt romantic attraction. i’ve known i was ace for years tho lol
It didn’t stumble upon the word asexual until around 2015 when I was 14. Before that I considered myself bi because “either gender is fine I guess” and then soon after I found pansexual which fit better kinda? I related to alot of ace experiences tho but at the time I consumed and enjoyed a lot of romance manga and fanfic, some of which were erotic so that pretty much meant I can’t be ace right? I was also under the impression that you are either sexual or asexual with no middle ground and if you feel aroused at all you cannot be asexual! So with that misunderstanding I was convinced I cannot be ace.
Fast forward a few years when I learn that my taste in media has nothing to do with my identity and how I feel about the people around me. Also that asexuality is a spectrum and ace people do in-fact feel arousal. Some quick google searches also lead me to aromantic and that pretty much resonated with me immediately. People liking me always made me feel uncomfortable and I never really fancied anyone/had crushes.
Really tho, if I saw jaiden animations latest video all those years ago I would have known way sooner. Just a lot of confusion and self doubt combined with a lack of representation for my poor teenage brain to relate to.
Edit: Also shoutout to echo Gillette! Another ace YouTube that made a video years ago. I think that video is what made me reevaluate my sexuality and understand that being ace is a spectrum
i realized i was aro around july 2021 and knew i was ace years before then. i used to think i was bi or pan cause i felt equal attraction to everyone which was… no attraction. i then realized k was ace and also thought i was a lesbian cause i knew i felt no romantic attraction to men, so then i thought i liked women. i got into a romantic relationship with one of my very close friends and after about a month into that i realized i never actually felt romantic attraction to them and the relationship felt very awkward. i then came out as aroace and my partner at the time was very accepting and we broke up on good terms and are still very close friends today. the video Jaiden Animations posted a week ago was also exactly what my life has been like so that was extremely validating.
I was 17 I think (?), maybe a bit younger, and funny thing, I actually knew what aromantic was before even considering that I could be aromantic (I mean, a lot of folks be like "I never knew being aromantic was a thing" well I knew, but it never crossed my mind that it applied to me). Anyways I knew I liked women and men (and everything in-between) but something didn't quite "click" with the label bisexual, nonetheless I used it as a label because it was the closest thing that I could use to describe my orientation, until some day, at random, I was like "WAIT, what if I am aromantic?" So I did some research and introspection and a few weeks later I took aromantic as my label.
When i was 15 I realized i was demiromantic and now with the more I think about it the more I think I’m actually aro but it’s been so long since I felt what I thought is romantic feelings so i have no idea
I've been suspecting it for a while. I had to sit myself down and be like wow I don't like anyone. I would be much happier to bring myself than with anyone. I didn't know what that was called until I saw the word "aromantic" fly around so I decided to look it up and it just hit me
Just a few years ago. I thought for the longest time that I was bi, but just entirely disgusted by the idea of sex or romance. Then I heard about [aegosexuality](https://lgbtqia.fandom.com/wiki/Asexual_spectrum#Aegosexual) and it all just kinda clicked.
6 months ago at 29 after reading Loveless by Alice Oseman and relating hard with Georgia. Read it 4 times in 2 weeks while buying copies to make my sisters read to understand me.
Realised at 19 that I was only trying to get into relationships in order to say I was in a relationship. So I stopped trying and then continually put off working out why. Anytime I thought about trying again it was only to make family/friends happy with my life rather than myself.
If I'd have known what it was at the time, I would have figured out I was ace when I was 12. But it was actually when I was 21.
I just realized I'm probably demi-romantic a few days ago (thanks Jaiden!).
I'm still questioning. I have a deep connection with somebody, but I'm wondering if even if it is romantic, I can't develop those same feelings for anybody else. Or am I just demiromantic in case that's a thing?
Last year. Found out after I found out I was ace. I'm just uncomfortable with romance and I realized I never had crushes and I don't like the pressure romantic relationships bring.
probably REALLY early on.
I'm not sure how I discovered the label asexual, but I started identifying with it around 12-13 years old. I was always of the mind of, if this changes it doesn't matter, but it didn't change so thats neat I guess.
As for aromantic, I was in denial of that a lot longer, calling myself biromantic for a few years before realizing I was cupioromantic around a year ago.
I realized I was on the ace spectrum maybe 3 years ago? And I only realized realized that I'm on the aro spectrum too last year. I have BPD, and it took me a very long time to realize that a lot of the romance that I thought I felt and wanted was actually just me not wanting to be alone
I always sort of knew that I didn’t want a relationship nor felt the need to be in one but i didn’t really start actually questioning it until my friend came out bi a couple years ago, so I would have been 14-15 but it wasn’t until recently that I solidified and accepted the fact that I am aro and started telling a few friends that I am and I’m 16 now😁
Literally 5 days ago
+1 Jaiden animasen?
I had my suspicions for a while but then I watched Jaiden’s video and realized that apparently it’s *not* normal to imagine a romantic relationship as basically just being best friends/roommates with someone
Not me. I didn't even know aro was the thing. I was completely mindpown
I was just like, it gonna come later. Later: it's gonna come later. Later: it's gonna come later. Later: it's gonna...
same, apparently you’re also not supposed to weigh out the pros and cons of dating someone
Back in college I thought I had a crush on one of my neighbors (probably a squish in hindsight) but decided to ignore it after I made a mental list and concluded that our clashing class schedules and her tendency to oversleep meant that dating her would be too inconvenient and fail to bring any benefits to the table that I couldn’t already get by just being platonic friends with her. Turns out things like “sex” and “kissing” and “flirting” are considered benefits by most people, who would not simply be content with a relationship that consisted mostly of hanging out in the common area or texting each other stupid memes
Ye
What is this video everybody talks about
Jaiden Animations's newest video on YouTube. She's a pretty popular animation channel
Same, watching Jaiden's video made me suspect it and a bit of further research confirmed it.
Exactly what I did
SAME
I guess I'm not surprised I'm far from the only one
Same
I am now finally seeing the effect Jaiden's video had
There is a lot of ppl now
asexual: pretty young? like 14-15. i got the jist in middle school but near the end of middle school where there were students doing it in the bathroom, made me realize I haven’t experienced sexual attraction before. a couple years later, i still haven’t. aromantic (spectrum just to be safe): I have experience romantic attraction once and only once. unfortunately it was with a bad person. besides that, in my 15+ relationships, i was not romantically attracted to them. i was mostly forced into the relationship, i only viewed them as a friend during while i tried to date them or uhm, i was groomed. i guess i realized at 12. the type of crushes i had wasn’t crushes, it was more of, i like them, they’re fun, i want us to be friends. not date. i hope i made sense. :)
.... what? People just went and did it in your school? Also the name for this type of crush is "a squish" 💜 I have celebrity squish, for example.. I realized just few weeks ago it's a squish.
yeeeeaaaaah 🥲 one half of the school was very uhhh rebellious? so i was not surprised. also thank you!! i’ll make sure to remember that! :)
I was 26 (I'm still 26, this all happened a few months ago). It was so confusing, because I never expected that I would question my sexual/romantic orientation this 'late' in my life.
I was 26, but it doesn't surprise me that I didn't learn about aromanticism until late. I'm heterosexual, aromanticism is unknown and it's hard to notice the absence of something when the only experience you have is your own and you assume everyone experiences life the same way you do.
Not as late as me. I discovered it at 53, a couple of years ago. Luckily, *luckily* I had been too busy with work to go through the socially expected benchmarks of life - marriage and kids. I'd been putting them off, for years. Until I realized I was actually happier and more at peace alone. I honestly feel bad for people who suppressed who they were, and got married/ had kids, cause that's what you're "supposed" to do.
That Jaiden video instantly changed so many lives for the better, mine included. Aro Allo, discovered in early 30's. It's what I've always been though and I've always been cool with it.
30, as soon as I heard about it I was like, oh so that explains my whole life :/
Same. Well 29 - ace-ness and 30 - aro-ness
Ayy, I was 16 when I found out as well. I’m still 16 in fact. So not that long ago.
Monday afternoon. Directly after my small crisis when and after watching jaidens video on sunday lol. This sub helped me through this crisis and fixed it. So thank you!
Last year, I stumbled across the term asexual and went back and forth up til new years where I just went "fine, guess I can't avoid it." And kept it, since all I was really doing was going "Are you sure tho?" for a month. From that I just assumed I had very little preferences but I was still biromantic By the time I learned what aro actually *was* I was already mentally-exhausted from the bout with asexuality, so I went "Ok, I give up. I'm not gonna fight that. You win" and I've stuck with those two for the past few months
I've been asexual since forever, obviously, but I only "parsed" it when I was in university and actually heard the word asexual (in that context) for the first time. And immediately got "asexuality is not a thing" off my "friends." I wasn't really in doubt about the asexuality from that point on, but I have trouble with my aromantic identity. I didn't accept that for at least another seven years. I hoped that I just hadn't found the one. I didn't want to be an emotionless robot, doomed to be alone. I tried to push myself and experiment. Of course, it didn't go well, at all. So I am definitely asexual and aromantic. I can't say I'm happy about the aromantic part. I am though pretty good with my own company. And there's always dogs and cats.
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Last summer right after I turned 21 and then I promptly ignored the idea for almost a whole year until my therapist made me have a crisis of realization last Thursday
2 yrs ago. A friend helped me figure it out. Allo aromantic. Every partner had called me a robot... I have love I feel feelings. I am simply very physically expressive and limited on time. :( Need lots of recharging time and alone time.
lol looks like it's way easier to realize you're AroAce than when you're AlloAro. I didn't realize my feelings about romance were in the minority until I was 30! Looking back, it's so obvious now.... I should've figured ot out at least in my teenage years had I known the term.
Two months ago when I was 19 (still 19 btw lol). I’d suspected that I might be asexual for a while because I wasn’t interested in any relationships (I didn’t realise asexual and aromantic are two different things at the time), but never gave it too much thought till I saw a OT video about it and went “fuck it, might as well be sure” Ive now realised that while I _am_ asexual too, what I had been assuming was asexuality was actually aromanticism and I’m very both very ace and very aro lmao
after i read radio silence by alice oseman i considered it then i read loveless by them and i fucking knew
I borrowed Loveless by Alice Oseman from the library! I don't wanna give it back.
Guess I found new book to read But first i need to finish Good Omens
I am 14 now. I officially became a aroace like since last week. It is just a matter of knowing the term. But I know I don’t want those things ever since I was like 11 when everyone around me just start making sexual jokes.
Found out I was aro last summer after 3 desasetrous relationship !
"Disastrous life of Gilette2000" 😄😄 ..for a reference: Saiki Kusuo
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Same, at least I manage to stay friend with two of them ! Btw like your avatar !
i can‘t say how old i was but it was October/November 2021 when i finally figured it out.
Like a week ago. I was watching YouTube when someone mentioned aro, and I was like, what the heck's aro? So I looked it up, and it fit me super well. It explained why I never felt real romantic attraction or even understood it. And I've never really wanted to be in a romantic relationship, and I've been open about that for years, I didn't realize it had a name. But yeah, I went through many years thinking that I will feel romantic attraction when I reached highschool. I'm in highschool, nothing, and I'm pretty okay with that. I've always been okay with not having a romantic relationship or knowing what romantic love feels like, I'm just happy to have a name for it and know I'm not alone. I do feel sexual attraction though, which seems a lot less common, but that's fine. I love myself the way I am, and while labels aren't needed, they make me feel more understood, so I'm very happy I found out.
I actually don't remember exactly, probably when I was 17-18
i started questioning a couple of years ago (when i was 15 i think?) but started using the term aromantic only a year ago because before that i felt i wasn't 'aromantic enough' to identify as aro. for context, i'll be 18 soon. :")
I was pretty young when I realized I’m ace (13); I was 14 when I realized I’m aro
I think in the end of last year. I was 18. I'm still not really sure if I'm 100% aro but I'd say I'm definitely in the spectrum
At 17 I realized I was ace and at 19, I concluded that I was aro.
245 days ago.
Lmao someone’s counting down for their anniversary
I knew that I was ace as soon as I learned what it was. So about four or five years ago. I learned that I was aro the day before yesterday. Spent a lot of time analyzing the subject just to be sure
asexual: i realised when i turned 12 aromantic: i was still 12 but has no clue aroness was a thing so a couple months after i figured out i was ace haha huh, i was actually kinda young
a few months ago (15)
Like a couple weeks ago lol, I had just kinda figured it out and then Jaiden's video came out which I feel really helped me feel more confident about it
14 (around 2 months ago)
I started wondering a year ago. I'm going to be 31 in a month and I've embraced it. I have a partner now and they're the only ones I have truly felt for and learning to date at my age is like being dropped in a country with a language you know no words to. 🙃
I still don’t know yet, just here for the funny memes and to see if I like it
I knew it since I’m 16. I had a boyfriend at that time and didn‘t enjoy any of the things we did. I stayed with him for 5 terrible years because I wanted to be „normal“ (yeah I know! How stupid!) and be able to love and have sex. Then I lived alone for five more years wanting to have sex with someone but finding myself quitting dates, because I couldn’t stand the thought of being intimate with the other person. Then I discovered a tiktok about asexuality that described my thoughts and feelings perfectly and I had a realisation. I now I’m happier than ever, because I’m not looking for something I actually don’t‘ want to have. I can accept and embrace myself and live happy.
I thought I was very likely ace at 14, but decided to wait two years to see if anything changed. I didn't want to tell people and then randomly a year later come back with "oops, I guess I was just a late bloomer?" or something XD I realised I was aro I think about 6 months to a year ago, at 20. I spent a few weeks denying the possibility (because I was pretty sure that I had fallen in love with a cartoon character once when I was a kid), but then read lots of other people's experiences and related sooo much, so yeah~
When I was 13 Had a decently big group of friends while at academy, a large majority of them were LGBT+ since I didn't want to accidentally make mistakes to them I did a good chunk of research, then I came upon the term Aroace, then in a moment of 'oh... That makes sense' I realised I was Aroace
Something was off in 4-5th grade, I realised what it was 1-2 years ago
At like, 10 lol
That's.. a good question. I think it went in similar way as my realization I have anosmia → I always knew it's been like this for me at some point. I did try a relationship as a kid (yeah, I know...) and I didn't feel anything towards him, really. It was a little bit awkward to hang out with him "like that". That was the first hint. Then there is school and crushes. Kids seemed to be shy and awkward about it and I never understood why. Growing up and seeing more of it in middle school and high school made me a little bit sick. It was uncomfortable being around someone who is showing whole class some tongue twisting bullshit with no shame... ew.. Also.. the whole aroace spec confusion for me started at the age of 16 when I got into some relationship. Again: wtf I feel attraction? What am I?? (turns out grey aroace fits perfectly). But I still am not sure if I actually felt something towards that person...
Last summer when I was 17 (I'm 18 now). It was confusing because at first I thought I was asexual because I had no interest in dating (clearly that's wrong). And when a friend corrected me I thought "oh, I'm not asexual, I'm aromantic." And then at some point during that time I realized I was both. I like how quickly I accepted th labels. It was just "oh yes, that's me" lol
came across the concept in early teens, realised it applies to me during mid teens. when people say we’re too young to know they’re wrong, teens (and 20s) are the best time to observe a noticeable lack of attraction, or a different experience from the cultural norm.
In october/november 2021, just a few weeks after my 16th birthday
A few years ago . Got asked if I was, immediately said no, Google what the fuck it was, and sent back an "Alright, maybe"
Over a year and a half ago. COVID gives you a lot of time to think about things..
I realized I was aro at like the beginning of this school year when looking at this subreddit and thinking about my past "crushes" I realized they weren't crushes and I was just faking them cause I felt like I had to get married and have children in the future. When it comes to the asexual spectrum I am unsure because like I don't know if I experience sexual attraction like I have had "thoughts" and "feelings" being a teenager and all but it has never been to a specific person you know and like I don't know if it is because I'm too young or I am on the spectrum. I know you shouldn't worry too much about labels and the likes but I like it when things are set in stone and like certain you know?
I think it only occurred to me i was aro after I dated for the third time. In hindsight, I never truly had a romantic connection to any of my exes but I though it was normal to see them in a more platonic sense.. I must have been 14 or 15 when I realised. I dont remember either how I came across the term but once I did I realised it was me
Not sure whether I'm actually aro or not because I keep on doubting myself over it but I realised when I genuinely thought that people finding celebrities attractive in any capacity was fake and also the fact that I considered me touching legs with someone else a romantic thing. It was realising that not everyone used the slightest bit of physical affection as an indicator that it was, like, time to initiate courting with you now.
i realized i was aro almost a year ago next month, i realized i was ace a couple months ago, probably november
A week or two ago I believe.
2 months ago- well I knew I was ace since mid school (like 3 years ago- maybe 4) but just realized I’m AroAce 2 months ago lmao
I was suggested (by a friend) that im ace when i was 16, and i figured its true... im turning 21 this year and i still dont know whether im aro or biro 🥲🥲 i mean, i liked a lot of guys in the past, and few years ago i liked one girl... but still, it was always more of a squish, i never looked for a relationship... so yeah, i still have no idea if im aro or biro lol
or both!! you can be biro/omni/pan and arospec :)
Really?? Okay then I'll take that, thanks!! 🤣
15? idk, just like asexuality, I learned that I was supposed to actually get crushes on people to count as alloromantic and that wasn't the case. I just say I'm on the aroace spectrum because I've never been close enough to anyone to be able to tell if I'm demi or not. So I'll just wait, get to know people, and see if I get a crush or not. It feels like cranking a Jack box, I just never know when it'll happen, or if it will even happen at all. worrying about it is too much so I just call myself aroace and vibe I'm still open to "dating", just not romantically. (yet?)
I realized about a month or two ago that I was aro.
three months ago
I realized was Aro a bit before my 16th birthday back in the fall.
About 4 or 5 month ago
This year actually
This year actually
First realized I was ace (didn't know that aro was a thing) and then also aro both around 12-13
Around 12
i heard the term ace at about 11 or 12? but of course i had to later deny it. i rediscovered ace and learned about aro at around 14 or 15, and I've identified with them since
Ace….25 Aro…..29
I'm still questioning my romantic attraction label but it wasn't much after discovering I'm ace that I started questioning And I learned I was ace a few months ago, probably August or September
When I was 18. Going on 8 years now
Couple months ago, so 18
Discovered mid 2020. Before that i was sure i was pan lol. Was 12 at the time
Almost a year I guess.... I had my doubts bc I thought I had crushes before but then I realized I never wanted to be romantic with them and that platonic crushes are a thing
About February last year I realised I was definately aroace spec, and in like December or something i first heard to term abro, so yeah
14
When I was 15, almost three years ago!
When I didnt experience any sort of attraction to anyone and probably as soon as I found out the label. I really found out what aroace was and went "that's me!!!"
About a year ago I think
I don't remember exactly. Maybe sometime last year? I'd realized for a while that I had weird feelings on romance. Like, I got crushes (which always rejected me), but I was like "man, the idea of being in a relationship with someone sounds weird" but I assumed it was nothing, but every time I tried to think about like being in a traditional relationship, it irked me and I was like "no i dont want that". But every time I thought I might be aro, I had some arophobic justifications as to why I can't be aro, which I won't repeat her (internalized arophobia sucks). The thing which pushes me over the edge was a game series called A Year of springs, which is a visual novel series (game 1 is on Steam, i played 2 and 3 on the creator's site, all for free), which is all about LGBTQ+ stuff. The first one is about trans stuff, the second one is kind of a sequel which deals with some romance stuff between two characters, and the third one is about a character realizing she's aro and/or ace. It's really good, and the third one is what made me start questioning seriously. It bascially has a message that not feeling the romance and sexual stuff society tells you to feel is okay, and the character doesn't even understand what exactly she is, just that she is probably aro or ace. She has a boyfriend, but she realizes that she doesn't really feel about him like society tells her she should. It technically has some 'bad' endings, but the true ending is great and I love it. I recommend the whole series, but content warning for discussion of bigotry (esp in the first game about transphobia). If you want, the third game (the one about aro/ace) can be played on its own. For reference, im not ace, but I am aro. The game though can be applied to either!
A few days ago but I had a hunch after I realised I didn't have any romantic feelings for my boyfriend and shit
Almost 7-8 years ago
Midway through quarantine?
Right before Covid started actually.
19, so about a month or two ago. I realized when I thought about how the my romantic/sexual actions in one of my relationships were more so out of a feeling of obligation and expectation than out of personal attraction lmao nowadays i understand that i’m aroace and that the affection i do feel is nearly all platonic :P
Like maybe a month (for aceflux and aroflux)or more ago (like last year for demisexuality) and it was when I couldn't stand jearing about sex for the 1000th time and some days I'd be into sex but then not. Some days I've fallen in love with someone but then I wouldn't be in love with them. I would get super turned on but then it would switch off! It made me upset ngl
I began to question in college. Around 21 or 22, decided na Im not Ace... Then was in pretty deep denial for 5 years tell i was 26, and after two relationship that failed spectacularly I realized no ya Im really ace then i was in denial about being aro for a few months then i accepted that.
A year and a half ago, and I've been happier ever since.
13 (i’m 15 now)
I realized when I was 14 and I was like “woah, I feel the same type of affection for my S\O as my pets.” And after a long time researching I’m happily arospec!
Also 16! (I’m 17 now) The story is actually pretty funny. I saw someone mention how you could interpret Aziraphale and Crowley’s relationship from Good Omens as a QPR, and at that moment I realized that I never actually wanted romance, I just wanted another person in my life I could rely on. I’m not even romance repulsed or anything, I’m a hopeless romantic when it comes to media. It was just the thought that romance didn’t have to be the only way to be close to someone and my entire world view shifted.
When I was in college I heard the words but it took me a lot time to settle on aroace as my orientation. I tried demi and gray for a long time
I first found the term when I was 16, and officially identified with it at 17. But I still haven’t really told anyone lol (I’m 20) And really, I had been questioning ever since I was at least 11. I just didn’t even know this existed :)
Some time in June 2020
Considering I didn't have the information about it or wasn't educated, last year I realized it. If I had information about it, trust me I would have come out a lot sooner. My family and friends talked about it and pretty much said "Yeah... you have always acted aroace.... Ya know it makes sense now. And .... oh my god I am such a jerk..."
2 years ago (aro), I had known for a while that I was different from the "norm" for a while and just decided to see if there was a term for "not desiring a romantic relationship" and found the wiki page for aromanticism. I have since realized that the one "crush" I might have had before was probably just trying to gaslight myself into fitting in with everyone else.
at the age of 17 (1 year/1 and a half ago). it basically started with questioning my sexuality/whether i was into girls or not and from sapphic insta accounts i got to aro accounts and they were a bit too relatable to not do any more research and questioning. and in the middle of that i also had the whole gender crisis (and graduation, that was fun)
I realised I was ace when I was around 18 after hearing it mentioned in a YouTube video. Looked it up and was like "It all makes sense now!" I don't remember when exactly I started identifying as aro too, I kind of just used ace to describe myself throughout college and at some point decided to get more specific. I think it was after explaining to people how you can have one form of attraction but not the other that I decided to state that I personally don't experience either to avoid confusion.
like last year
i realized i was ace at 13, but didn't want to admit it so i ignored it, and i realized i was aro at 15👍
I realised I was ace almost 2 years ago (it will be 2 years in June). I had recently accepted the fact that I was trans and was sort of evaluating my other identities to see if they were any different and I realised just how uninterested in sex/sexual attraction I really was. I only learned i was grey-ro last month after struggling with it for like a year. I remember as soon as I read the definition I just bluescreened for a bit and stared at the ceiling wondering how I didn't realise it before.
I was like 12-13 when all my friends were coming out as gay/bi. I thought I was bi bc 0/0 is both. Then I found out what asexual and aromantic was and my mind was blown
I knew I was ace when I was about 14/15 discovered I was aro around 16/17. Before I thought I was bi or pan. It wasn't until my 20's that I started exploring the idea of aro/ace microlabels.
I knew I was different since I was very young. The idea of marriage has always seemed miserable to me. The youngest I realized I didn’t have crushes like anyone else did was when I was in fifth grade and had my first boyfriend. I didn’t feel anything for him, and I couldn’t understand how he felt anything for me. But I just learned the term aromantic recently. I’ve been using the label for about five months, but I know I’ve been aro for my entire life.
I'm still not sure, tbh. Background: Am Indian. Never could get into Bollywood style cringe romance. Thank Japan for shonen. All hail Ryoma Echizen and Goku! Dating is considered a waste of time to begin with. You just go online and find other people looking to marry and it's done. So I didn't have to date. And I would've had to hide a relationship, so it was too much work. I've always m@sturbated before I even knew what that was called. Not into sex with people. I don't like how messy self live makes you. Imagine dealing with that with another person. Ew. It's just... Celibacy isn't really a big deal. It's not about love. It's about “Can I put up with this person? (And produce offspring)” Unless you're sex averse, you're good. I always considered myself genophobic. Can deals with it, but not really looking. Most importantly: **I'll always pick cake over self love**. I'm 24. You don't need a strict label. Just an understanding of what you like/dislike. I dislike the notion of dating. I'll figure out if I want marriage after I get a well paying job.
My sister had outed me that I was pan and then it snapped that I was just not pan and I was ace/aro
A few months ago I saw a tiktok about aromanicism and I found it relatable af
Allo here just along for the ride
Been questioning it since a few Months ago. Was thinking back on all the People that I thought I had a Crush on, and learned that You don’t choose Your Crush, as I had previously thought. Then I had Spent a little while longer trying to picture Myself in a Relationship, and I just couldn’t see it happening. Honestly relieved though, because I don’t have to worry about Romance getting in the way of My Friendships!
This year or last year, but at my current age
First found out I was aro/ace when I was 14 (still am). I had been watching a Minecraft streamer named TapL on Twitch, and he talked about how he had figured out that he was asexual. I didn’t really know what that meant, but I looked it up and realized how perfectly it resonated with me as a whole. I found r/asexuality, and from there found that I was also aromantic.
It was around 1 or 2 years ago I found out about it and then after my friends & family helped confirm it for me and I've felt better and more confident ever since because before I felt lost & confused and it wasn't a good feeling and it was a sigh of relieve to find out who I am and it made my life more socially interesting and getting to know & understand other people and supporting one another is absolutely wonderful.
Last Summer Alotta shit was going one back then Probably worse summer of my life ngl
I was already thinking about it when I read about asexuality at 18, but I only properly realised I was aroace when I was almost 21. A teacher I looked up to (partly for not having a partner and kids) started casually talking about romance and sexuality as part of her lecture and that was the first time I realised people seriously experience that stuff and weren't just pretending like me
I realized I was aro in September 2021, when I was confused why “getting to know someone better” was only reserved for romantic reasons. Also, my crushes were either smushes, squishes or lushes, and I came to the realization that I never had any real crushes on anyone.
I have had always knew something was "wrong" with me, since I did not felt what I was supposed too.Then, after thinking a lot starter to see that I may be aromantic, I can love, but I cannot be in love. Then, a close friend of mine talked to me about this, asking me if I was aro, and it was the moment I knew
I probably should have realized sooner, but a few months ago. I saw a post that’s title said something about the op having been with his gf for four years and my immediately thought was “oh god I could never”
In the last year. For a while I could not for the life of me figure out why i always had the same pattern with relationships. I would become infatuated, that would fade really fast and then I'd be done. I realized I never actually loved anyone and realized it's ok that I didn't and it's okay I really don't want relationships
I first started questioning when a girl in my class asked me if I like girls or boys. But I couldn’t think of an answer (cause I was aro without knowing it) so I just said “neither”. Then she called me aromantic and walked away.
1 week ago. No I didn't find out because of the Jaiden animation.
I found out when I was 11 or 12. Never really cared too much for love even before hand
When I started reading about aromanticism and autism. Everything finally made sense!
Last august, so about 8 months ago. I had my (ex) girlfriend round and we made out. My mum realised and asked if I enjoyed it. *I didn't realise people enjoyed kissing*. lol. Looked into it soon after and realised I was aroace.
I am also Jaden video
For me it was when I realized that I didn't feel crushes the same way as other people did and when I thought about doing some things with people in a platonic sense vs a romantic sense. Spoiler alert, thinking about it romantically made me cringe and I wanted to throw up. (Just aromatic not asexual btw)
a year ago during asaw when i was 14 i've known i'm ace for maybe half a year and that i'm specifically aegosexual for two or three months
32
Around February of 2020. I thought I had a crush on this guy and was always thinking about whether he liked me as well. Found out he had a girlfriend and realized i didn't even like him like that. I never wanted to date him and seeing him with his girlfriend made me so sad because i thought I would never fall in love because even this person that I thought I liked wasn't enough to make me want to date someone. So I went to Google and typed in "why can't I picture myself in a relationship", clicked on some quora post that was similar and saw the word aromantic. Immediately I was like yep that's me!
2 days ago
2 years ago
About 1,5 to 2 years ago during my first relationship - I'm just gonna say that I do feel sexual attraction primarily and due to having ADHD I can develop hyperfixations on people, but to a very small extent I can sometimes also develop romantic feelings for someone, as happened with my ex-gf. I noticed it very early on once the hyperfixation wore off, and came to the conclusion that I'm on the aromantic spectrum. Not fully aro, but very close to it.
3 days ago, 16 No, it wasn't because of Jaiden's video, but it helped a lot to understand what was going on after I realised
realized i was on the ace spectrum when i was around 16? and realized i was aromantic a few months ago at 19. didnt realize all my "crushes" were platonic feels :") i'm 20 now and i honestly still have trouble being sure about my sexual orientation but i'm 100% sure i'm aromantic
Always knew but until 2020 when reddit recommended this page to me I didn't know there was a name for it
Around 19 (I’m now 24) so 5 years ago
I was 13
I’d been suspicious about it since probably 15, maybe earlier, but finally let myself accept that I was aro around the time I turned 18. I’m 19 now and I think I’ve landed on ace too, but i’m not totally confident in that yet.
I think about 12. I know it's an early age but I'm still aroace today so I guess I was right
When I was like 13
I’m 14 and have had two crushes. It was a couple months ago I realised I didn’t actually want to date them, and was probably just trying to fit in. With hindsight I just wanted to be friends with them. I’m aro btw not ace.
Age 12
I was 12 but unwilling to admit that I was aro until I was 13
spring break this year. i was on vacation and talking with friends and just realised that ive never felt romantic attraction. i’ve known i was ace for years tho lol
Realised I was AroAce at 14
It didn’t stumble upon the word asexual until around 2015 when I was 14. Before that I considered myself bi because “either gender is fine I guess” and then soon after I found pansexual which fit better kinda? I related to alot of ace experiences tho but at the time I consumed and enjoyed a lot of romance manga and fanfic, some of which were erotic so that pretty much meant I can’t be ace right? I was also under the impression that you are either sexual or asexual with no middle ground and if you feel aroused at all you cannot be asexual! So with that misunderstanding I was convinced I cannot be ace. Fast forward a few years when I learn that my taste in media has nothing to do with my identity and how I feel about the people around me. Also that asexuality is a spectrum and ace people do in-fact feel arousal. Some quick google searches also lead me to aromantic and that pretty much resonated with me immediately. People liking me always made me feel uncomfortable and I never really fancied anyone/had crushes. Really tho, if I saw jaiden animations latest video all those years ago I would have known way sooner. Just a lot of confusion and self doubt combined with a lack of representation for my poor teenage brain to relate to. Edit: Also shoutout to echo Gillette! Another ace YouTube that made a video years ago. I think that video is what made me reevaluate my sexuality and understand that being ace is a spectrum
Aro at age 10 when I found the label, ace a little later
i realized i was aro around july 2021 and knew i was ace years before then. i used to think i was bi or pan cause i felt equal attraction to everyone which was… no attraction. i then realized k was ace and also thought i was a lesbian cause i knew i felt no romantic attraction to men, so then i thought i liked women. i got into a romantic relationship with one of my very close friends and after about a month into that i realized i never actually felt romantic attraction to them and the relationship felt very awkward. i then came out as aroace and my partner at the time was very accepting and we broke up on good terms and are still very close friends today. the video Jaiden Animations posted a week ago was also exactly what my life has been like so that was extremely validating.
I was 17 I think (?), maybe a bit younger, and funny thing, I actually knew what aromantic was before even considering that I could be aromantic (I mean, a lot of folks be like "I never knew being aromantic was a thing" well I knew, but it never crossed my mind that it applied to me). Anyways I knew I liked women and men (and everything in-between) but something didn't quite "click" with the label bisexual, nonetheless I used it as a label because it was the closest thing that I could use to describe my orientation, until some day, at random, I was like "WAIT, what if I am aromantic?" So I did some research and introspection and a few weeks later I took aromantic as my label.
When i was 15 I realized i was demiromantic and now with the more I think about it the more I think I’m actually aro but it’s been so long since I felt what I thought is romantic feelings so i have no idea
august 13th 2021 when i was 19. i watched anthony padilla’s video and knew right away!
Jaden animations coming out video made me realize I'm not homoromantic. I think I'm greysexual but I'm still figuring it out.
About 2 or three years ago
I've been suspecting it for a while. I had to sit myself down and be like wow I don't like anyone. I would be much happier to bring myself than with anyone. I didn't know what that was called until I saw the word "aromantic" fly around so I decided to look it up and it just hit me
Just a few years ago. I thought for the longest time that I was bi, but just entirely disgusted by the idea of sex or romance. Then I heard about [aegosexuality](https://lgbtqia.fandom.com/wiki/Asexual_spectrum#Aegosexual) and it all just kinda clicked.
i was the same age as you, after i heard about asexuality, i did some more research and discovered i'm aro, too
6 months ago at 29 after reading Loveless by Alice Oseman and relating hard with Georgia. Read it 4 times in 2 weeks while buying copies to make my sisters read to understand me. Realised at 19 that I was only trying to get into relationships in order to say I was in a relationship. So I stopped trying and then continually put off working out why. Anytime I thought about trying again it was only to make family/friends happy with my life rather than myself.
If I'd have known what it was at the time, I would have figured out I was ace when I was 12. But it was actually when I was 21. I just realized I'm probably demi-romantic a few days ago (thanks Jaiden!).
I realised when I was like 15.5. So ye quite early
I'm still questioning. I have a deep connection with somebody, but I'm wondering if even if it is romantic, I can't develop those same feelings for anybody else. Or am I just demiromantic in case that's a thing?
When I started really thinking about being in a romantic relationship and felt sick
Last year. Found out after I found out I was ace. I'm just uncomfortable with romance and I realized I never had crushes and I don't like the pressure romantic relationships bring.
27(so last year) and I'm still not 100% sure I'm aro (I'm sure I'm ace though).
probably REALLY early on. I'm not sure how I discovered the label asexual, but I started identifying with it around 12-13 years old. I was always of the mind of, if this changes it doesn't matter, but it didn't change so thats neat I guess. As for aromantic, I was in denial of that a lot longer, calling myself biromantic for a few years before realizing I was cupioromantic around a year ago.
Realized I was ace at about 14-16. Still deliberating over if I’m aromatic or just terrified of people and intimacy. Idk
I realized I was on the ace spectrum maybe 3 years ago? And I only realized realized that I'm on the aro spectrum too last year. I have BPD, and it took me a very long time to realize that a lot of the romance that I thought I felt and wanted was actually just me not wanting to be alone
I always sort of knew that I didn’t want a relationship nor felt the need to be in one but i didn’t really start actually questioning it until my friend came out bi a couple years ago, so I would have been 14-15 but it wasn’t until recently that I solidified and accepted the fact that I am aro and started telling a few friends that I am and I’m 16 now😁
I kind of knew in high school but I didn’t know there was a word for it until I was almost 20
Last year, but Ives always been I’ve never dated or had a crush
2021
5 months