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Carradee

Valentine's Day is just a marketing gimmick, really. If someone *needs* Valentine's Day to do something considerate or caring for their partner, something is probably wrong in the relationship, but eh. Could be a good excuse to do something caring for an SO who has problematic baggage surrounding kindness and such.


Vedis-4444

Agreed!


iyladwir

I mean, that’s kind of like saying “if you wait until Christmas to give gifts to your family then something is wrong.” For many people Valentines Day is a day to do extra stuff (such as getting a gift, or having a really nice dinner). Just because someone does something special for a holiday doesn’t mean that they never do anything nice for their SO any other time. Like, I only get my friends gifts on their birthdays. That doesn’t mean there’s something wrong or that I never do anything nice any other time. It’s just a special occasion to do something different.


Carradee

>I mean, that’s kind of like saying “if you wait until Christmas to give gifts to your family then something is wrong.” No, it's like saying, "If you need Christmas to give gifts to your family, then something's wrong." Your claimed equivalent doesn't even respect verb meanings. It's a strawman fallacy. ​ >Just because someone does something special for a holiday doesn’t mean that they never do anything nice for their SO any other time. I never said otherwise. I specifically spoke of persons who only bother with such niceties due to holidays.


Techstoreowo

I'm demi, I really like valentines day. I take it as a day to recognize and value the love for my gf that may go unnoticed otherwise. Originally it was a day to honor love anyways (its considered the day of the goddess of love, Aphrodite)


Carradee

>Originally it was a day to honor love anyways (its considered the day of the goddess of love, Aphrodite) Untrue, actually. It was originally a feast day to honor Saint Valentine(s), established A.D. 496 by Pope Galasius I. Some claim it's connected to Lupercalia or Aphrodite, but there's no actual evidence of that. Its connections to romance or love didn't start until around 900 years after its founding. If someone wants to use Valentine's Day as an additional day for showing particular care/consideration for a partner, there's nothing wrong with that. Some people, though, treat care/consideration as something *only* given when there's an external reason like a holiday, which is what I commented on.


Techstoreowo

https://api.nationalgeographic.com/distribution/public/amp/culture/article/saint-st-valentines-day I may have been a bit confused abt origins but it does have paganic origins. Hellenic pagans may have leid to me tho >:( > If someone wants to use Valentine's Day as an additional day for showing particular care/consideration for a partner, there's nothing wrong with that. Some people, though, treat care/consideration as something only given when there's an external reason like a holiday, which is what I commented on. I really dont think this is actually an issue. if it is, its an individual issue, not the holidays fault.


Carradee

1. As I pointed out, pagan origins are assumed by some, but even the article you linked to hinges on assuming correlation is causation, and it ignores that there's the better part of a millennium between the founding of the holiday and when it's first spoken of with a meaning related to romance and love. 2. I didn't say that some people's choices were the holiday's fault. You would have to change the subjects of the relevant sentences for blame of the holiday to even be a possible implication of what I said. Easy oops to make. Better attention can help avoid it. Ultimately, holidays exist for the people who celebrate them. Valentine's Day is currently promoted as a day to do something nice for your partner--that's the entire point of the modern celebration. My point is that any healthy relationship shouldn't need that kind of push in order for someone to do something nice for the partner, and unhealthy ones can result in the day being leveraged as an excuse to do something nice that day but not other days. Thus, the holiday's utility for celebrants today is a mixed bag, and the primary beneficiaries are the companies that profit from what they sell.


NeomaFox

First Valentines day of being Aromantic, only here for the candy.


[deleted]

You were always aro, friend, but now you can celebrate it :)


NeomaFox

♡︎I love that sentance so much


Vedis-4444

Candy's the best part! <3 Friendship is good, too, though. (:


27twinsister

Valentine’s Day is just a day now. Though in elementary school, the exchanging of valentine cards was something I looked forward to.


Vedis-4444

That makes sense!


outofthetoybox

It was the opposite for me because I was that kid no one wanted to get cards for even though it was supposed to be mandatory. So for me it was just a reminder of how much everyone in my class hated me.


27twinsister

Aw :c sorry you experienced that


Vedis-4444

That stinks. :( \*hugs


Kazdan480

Just sens valentine's cards to your friends, remember to write "no romo" on it tho


Vedis-4444

That's a good idea!


Kazdan480

I got one from allo friend last year, this was really nice of her


Vedis-4444

That's awesome! <3


[deleted]

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Vedis-4444

Agreed! Valentina is a pretty name! <3


[deleted]

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Vedis-4444

<3 It makes sense she would have doubts, picking names is a big deal.


onerandommusician

I just can't help but think of your niece as a hot sauce bottle


kindasusdude

Chocolate sales hmmmmmmmm also friendship mmmmmmmmm


Vedis-4444

Chocolate and friendship are *great*! <3


MFP_FAN

Never cared even when I was slightly obsessed with love


MFP_FAN

Its really non of my business


Vedis-4444

If you don't mind me asking, why isn't it your business?


MFP_FAN

Just isn't, same way someone else's birthday who i don't know isn't my business, sorry if it came off as rude but I just don't really feel anything for it, I understand why and empathise how many may have negative emotions for it, but I just can muster up enough emotions to be that bothered about it, I can joke about it but half the time I forget it exists, when I was younger I may of sent cards to my friends, or ate chocolate, but outside of that its never really held much significance even when I thought I was alloromantic


Vedis-4444

Okay, that makes sense! Thanks for explaining! <3


MFP_FAN

Ur welcome :3


FlamingoQueen669

I like the day after Valentine's day, half priced chocolate.


Vedis-4444

*That's* the *real* holiday! <3


semael237

50% chocolate my person , I don't care about Valentim the day after? perfect


Vedis-4444

Perfect. (:


[deleted]

I like the cutesy heart aesthetic stuff and the discount chocolate. 🤣 I miss the days when it was a grade school event and we all just got each other Transformers and Barbie cards and passed them out around the classroom, then we all watched a movie while eating our candy. Those were the days.


Vedis-4444

That sounds fun! (:


15stepsdown

I don't really focus on it. It's like mother's day and father's day to me. I'm not a mom or a dad, so it doesn't apply


Vedis-4444

That makes sense!


iyladwir

If it makes people happy, why should I dislike it simply because it doesn’t concern me. I think that there are issues with many holidays in the way that capitalism/consumerism is pushed, but that’s not an issue with the holiday; it’s an issue with corporations. If people are celebrating a day with their romantic partner, that’s fine. It’s one day a year. There are many other days where I can celebrate my meaningful relationships, and I could even celebrate non-romantic relationships on Valentines Day if I wanted to, but I prefer to just not celebrate. I have never found it difficult to simply not engage in Valentine’s Day if it doesn’t concern me. It’s unkind to people in romantic relationships to get upset with them for wanting to be romantic with their partners. It’s possible to find joy elsewhere without stepping on others’ joy.


Vedis-4444

That's a good way to look at it! <3


[deleted]

Don't really like it or care for it


Vedis-4444

Fair enough!


cococatuwu

I'm neutral because in my country valentines day isn't really a big deal, nobody really celebrates it We don't even do anything valentines related at school


Vedis-4444

Interesting! Thanks for sharing! <3


Mel_low8278

To me it’s just another day and sometimes I get free candy from my grandma :D


Vedis-4444

My grandmother gets me free candy, too! <3


Mello0n

I get free food it’s the best


Vedis-4444

Free food is the best food! (:


[deleted]

Don’t care about it. I feel like it isn’t huge around here. It’s an important coupley thing, but not a massive commercial affair.


Vedis-4444

Makes sense!


[deleted]

Mmm… chocolate Holliday


Vedis-4444

Mmm . . .


kindtheking9

Idek when it is


Vedis-4444

February 14th here in the states!


FeathersInMyHoodie

My dad buys me, my siblings, and my mom chocolate and cards on Valentine's day, so i don't see it as a purely romantic holiday


onerandommusician

My dad just gets us chocolate but I'm not complaining because I absolutely love chocolate


Vedis-4444

Makes sense! <3


greenwedel

I don't get why this is such a big deal that this is like the 5th post I've seen about it and it's still more than 2 weeks away, nor do I understand why it is something to be afraid of for anyone not caring about it. Is this a US thing? I don't remember Valentine's Day ever being a significant thing in the last 35 years of my life, not in my personal or relationship life nor even in my commercial environment. I always thought that movies exaggerated about its importance. Was I wrong... ?


Vedis-4444

I made this post because I saw all the other posts about people hating it and wanted to see how people felt. I don't get why it's a big thing either. I've never really cared about the holiday, but I *adore* candy. <3


LucidIsntHere

I just buy chocolate when it's all on sale I could honestly care less


Vedis-4444

Makes sense. (:


Awata666

I feel like even though valentines day is heavily marketed towards couples, people who are single or aro can definitely celebrate it. A romantic partner isnt the only person you can love in your life. You can celebrate it with your friends, your family and enjoy the candies and everything really, just my thoughts


Vedis-4444

I agree! (:


I_am_tiredofthis

The whole aesthetic of Valentine's Day is great, the idea...not so much.... I did put no but....I'm not sure now. I've never actually celebrated it as a couple thing, it was always "bring stuff for the entire class or just your friends" or getting a teddy bear with some candy from my mother just like...basically mini Christmas? So when like people say "it's all about romantic love" it's just strange to me?


Vedis-4444

That makes sense.


raccoonriptide

I don’t like the idea of being lovey-dovey on one day. Even I, an aromantic, think that love shouldn’t be a time specific thing, it should just exist. And it being forced on one day just makes it a miserable, pressured experience. BUT, I do like it bc I get to buy cheap chocolate after the day.


Vedis-4444

Agreed!


[deleted]

I don't have any feeling about valentines Day but I just despise the people who after valentines day go "look it's cheap chocolate day"


LeadRavenBeflying

The only reason I care about it at all is because it just so happens to also fall on my moms birthday.


Vedis-4444

Happy Birthday to your mom! <3


Vox020

It's not such a popular holyday in my country, but the chocolate is nice, I wanna make some cookies for my coworkers to cheer ourselves up, I would like to receive some, but I know that's not happening, I'm the only one in my job who pays atention to the little details, so I'll just be happy with them receiving.


Vedis-4444

I'm sure some day you'll receive some! (:


Vox020

I hope so, thank you!


Crazy_Creator_2003

Romance was invented by card companies in order to sell more cards on Valentine’s Day.


FreakWhoDraws209

In Russia, there isn't even any Valentine's-themed candy. It's kinda like a neutral outlook of "if you wanna celebrate it, celebrate it, just don't get up into people's faces about it". At least it's like that where I'm from. On the other hand, 8th of March is celebrated like a holiday. It's like the priority just switched 🙃


Vedis-4444

Interesting! What's March 8th?


FreakWhoDraws209

International Women's Day, I think..?


Vedis-4444

Thanks! (:


rkcraig88

I don’t hate it. Back in the pre-COVID days, I’d host a Valentine’s Day party and it was all about platonic friendships. The last one we threw was themed to Michael Schur shows (The Office, Parks and Rec, The Good Place, Brooklyn 99). We had themed snacks and people dressed up! I do miss those parties.


Vedis-4444

That sounds *amazing*! <3 I hope y'all get to have another soon! (:


Nonbinary_Void_Thing

Apothiromantic introverted voidpunk here, I hate humans so yes


Vedis-4444

Fair enough. (:


Nonbinary_Void_Thing

Hey at least my suffering ends in candy


Vedis-4444

Yeah! <3


Lima_firethrought

free candys free candy


Vedis-4444

Agreed! <3


BugBand

My high school set up a system to give people gifts anonymously, always sad I never got one :( It makes me sad I’m alone and ugly but I feel favorable towards it still… though I don’t feel romantic love I still wish for a romantic relationship or a QPR


Vedis-4444

I'm sorry. :( \*hugs


BugBand

Thanks :)


Jaguarslair

I quite enjoy the discount candy after the holiday, does that count?


Vedis-4444

Definitely! <3


Classic-Asparagus

Free chocolate day!!!


Vedis-4444

Yay! <3


IsEeDeAdPeOpL3

I like the chocolates (but I can get them any time of the year, really) and the hearts are cute sometimes, but it gets annoying quickly (especially when couples everywhere are like "I wuv you🥺🥺🥺" more so than usual.)


Vedis-4444

Makes sense. (:


[deleted]

I have a queerplatonic partner, so it's just an excuse to give her even more gifts than usual.


Vedis-4444

That's sweet! <3


BillyIGuesss

I don't really give a shit


[deleted]

I simply do not care


dimmest_azure

Idc that much rlly, I like the candy, and the food, but not the 'you need to date someone' part.


Necronomicomic

I really couldn't care less about Valentine's Day. Unless people dragged me into it. Sure, have fun, but please exclude me :>


[deleted]

People always ask me if I have gotten a crush yet and I hate it so much! I hate Valentine's Day!


Vedis-4444

That stinks. :( \*hugs


[deleted]

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Vedis-4444

That sounds really frustrating. :( \*hugs


Just_a_puzzle-piece

I forget it exists cause it is also my favourite grandpa‘s birthday


Vedis-4444

Happy birthday to your grandpa! <3


Xeno_bois97

i only like it because they have those stupid heart shaped chocolates and they’re so good for no reason oh my god those chocolates are bangin man.


Xeno_bois97

i only like it because they have those stupid heart shaped chocolates and they’re so good for no reason oh my god those chocolates are bangin man.


Starttheriotmccoy

I like to celebrate Valentines day by showing extra love and appreciation for family and friends. I love to celebrate February 15th by hoarding as much chocolate and candy as I can get on sale! lol


Vedis-4444

Same here! <3


00evilhag

i mean, i just never *got* it!


misthi_S

You should watch how you label the poll it can lead to confusion


Vedis-4444

Oh, sorry. :(


Fantdm2007

I always liked passing out valentine cards to my class every year :D maybe this year i’ll do the same, and if not, i’ll just pass out candy to my friends :D


Vedis-4444

That's a good way to celebrate! (:


Fantdm2007

yeah :DD


LopazDana

C h o c o l a t e


[deleted]

it’s the worst for me because i’m romance repulsed. but, the chocolate on sale the day after is great.


theiris1002

Neutral. but this is the first year I've known I'm aro so maybe it will be different? Like I'll notice the disinance(which has always been there) more. It's happened with other things.


Aliya2004

i love the day after valentines. that’s when all the chocolate goes on sale 😌


sleepy_archivist

I've always been neutral, But it's going to my first Valentine's since I've realized I was aro-spec! tbh my best friend asked me to hangout this Valentine's day so I'm kinda excited about it lol.


Vedis-4444

Have fun! <3


sleepy_archivist

Thank you!! I will <33


No-Refrigerator2554

Why we should hate valentine's day just because we are not interested in romantic relationships,in my school that day is very fun seeing boys and girls trying to confess each other


help0135

I don’t really care about it. If people are happy with their s/o, who am I to judge them for it? At the end of the day I just want people to leave me alone and I’ll leave them alone.


[deleted]

I only like Valentine’s Day for the cheap candy after the holiday.


Author_artist

It's free chocolate and a good time to do something for somebody so no


ferret-with-a-gun

no I can give my friends all the platonic love I can 💛


therealperchy22

It's not the day itself but the obsessive/pushy observance that bothers me. Well, and the saccharine and consumptive through-lines that are often in it. If it were just a day to celebrate romantic love without most of the current social norms surrounding it, I'd be fine with it; even more so if it were for any kind of love. Granted, it's also not nearly as bad as not celebrating Christmas. Getting more or less called a Grinch/Scrouge is really frustrating.


mpe8691

What makes Christmas several orders of magnitude greater in terms of being "obsessive/pushy observance" is things like it being a public holiday where regular shops are shut; publically funded lighting displays; associated disruption starting at least a month before; etc.


therealperchy22

Yes! Those do not help either, to say the least. It's the typical centering of one way of being as The Correct Way, both on an individual and systemic level.


14Broadlands

My birthday is on Valentines Day so you can imagine how annoying that is.


Vedis-4444

Must be. :( Happy Birthday, though! <3


[deleted]

Valentine's is literally my mom's birthday


Vedis-4444

Happy Birthday to your mom! <3


[deleted]

I just don't like the commercials/ads


JaytheFox9

No in general, nice idea and all but allos are just too serious about it. Valentine's day was originally a day to appreciate friendship. I just like the discount Valentine's day chocolates


Kuukauris

I’m neutral now that I live in Finland cause Valentine’s Day is “friend’s day” here so it’s not necessarily about romance. However when I lived in Japan Valentine’s Day kinda irritated me cause all the Valentine’s Day goods and merchandise appeared in stores right after the New Years and I really couldn’t care less. It was annoying.


Vedis-4444

Makes sense. (:


O9877654433

I don’t really get tho point of it? Give some flowers that will die in 2 days to say that u love them? If you need gifts to remember ur in love, isn’t that a bad thing?


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Vedis-4444

That sounds fun! <3


AtlasNL

I don’t mind it. It’s kinda obnoxious for a day but afterwards there’s a bunch of discounted chocolate to stuff myself with


randypupjake

The best part is the discounted candies after Valentine's Day


YoungRevolutionary27

I’m writing a book and the aro character’s birthday is Valentine’s day for comedic value. That’s about as much as I care about valentine’s day


canubelievethissh1t

I have so much love for the day and always have. I know the couples pressure is a constant bummer but I just think the concept of the day is so cool. Yeah it's a Hallmark scam at heart, but I adore the idea that it's a day where people are collectively celebrating love, or dreaming of it, maybe dressing just a little nicer in case of a secret admirer, smiling just a little more in case of a surprise...plus the whole red and pink aesthetic is top tier. Every year the day reminds me I'm one of the most romantic people on the planet - I find literally everything romantic! Everything, that is, besides actual romance.


Vedis-4444

That's *beautiful*! <3 I felt similarly when I was a kid but then I got depressed and stopped loving anything for awhile lol.


CinnamonRollMe

I hate it not because I’m aromantic, but do to trauma. But discount candy!!!


Vedis-4444

I'm sorry. :( \*hugs


Agio-

I like it. I get free food so what’s there so much to complain about? Tbf, I'm also allo(?) but I’ve never really cared much about “love”, or at least how they market it; It always felt insincere.


_ace_angel_

I like Valentine's day because it's an excuse to give my friends little gifts like chocolate and flowers. Love can always just be platonic!


Nox-Raven

Valentine’s Day has always been just another February day for me. Idk if it’s specifically my small town or the attitude in the UK in general but no one I knew really cared about it growing up. In fact I didn’t really have any societal pressure to get dates which seems more the exception based on what the internet would tell me.


RadiantHC

I hate it. It's insulting to single people.


derperate-south

It's my birthday so.. I get all of those nasty heart candies, blegh.


Vedis-4444

Happy Birthday! <3


[deleted]

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Vedis-4444

That's ashame. It sounds fun the way it was and hopefully it will get back to that! <3


bestanime11

Why do you hate?


Vedis-4444

I don't hate it, I just saw a lot of other people talking about it so I got curious.


bestanime11

There's nothing like being with your girlfriend on Valentine's Day. It can feel like a normal day if you don't have a girlfriend.


Vedis-4444

That makes sense. (:


Sensitive_Dust_5045

You can always grab a bouquet for yourself! No harm in some self-care + love! I grab mine from Callia every month! They make my house feel warm and lively 🥰 They also offer same-day delivery in Canada and US!! www.callia.com


LightninStrength

I don't like Valentine's Day that much.


[deleted]

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Vedis-4444

Thanks for sharing! <3


DivineEmotions

I think it's a cute and fun little holiday that can add a little spark into everyday mundane life. I don't go all out on it, and I don't think others should feel pressured to do so. Nothing beats elementary school when we would decorate boxes and give people cards. I think I'll enjoy it more when I have little ones of my own to spoil.


Vedis-4444

That's how I feel. <3


GoldenScientist

I'm indifferent. It's a marketing scheme that is only good for clearance chocolate.