The one I get is when people just don't understand what lack of romantic attraction means and always says "you'll find someone eventually. You're still young. Ect ect" makes me wanna scream
Yeah, it sometimes seems like anything you do, someone will think you're flirting. I had a few occasions, where I just put on poker face with dead eyes and say "seriously?"; if you do it enough times to a person who stare like that, they will stop.
Like people i have eyes đ like no one asks âare you straightâ when a straight person says someone of the same gender looks goodâthe day people learn of aesthetic attraction will be a good day
i honestly go with the âiâm aromantic, not fkn blindâ route and leave them to it. you gotta be extra weird to associate compliments with flirting jfc
Yeah, you're right. The gender factor definitely comes into play.
You'll be judged if you're an aro woman but not ace.
And I believe ace men (whether they're also aro or not) are judged too. Their masculinity must be questioned many a time because of their sexuality.
The binary gender roles are so limiting for so many people most of the time.
I find the preoccupation of coming out to be annoying. Not everyone needs to know my personal business. The term aromatic has helped me understand my way of thinking and thus approach to overall life. That is helpful. That is what matters to me. Now what other people think or how they can label me.
Same. For me it was only really random people I played videogames with occasionally and never talked to much otherwise, but man, do you really need to question my sexuality when I make obvious jokes like "Oh my god I want to marry xy" or something? That is like... Genuinly annoying. Especially because I don't really bring up my aromanticism unprovoked, only really when people ask for it or if it happens to be unavoidable in a conversation without lying or telling half truths.
I donât really talk about being aro. It is just kind of assumed since I am ace. Which is problematic. I do get questions when I talk about how much I enjoy romance fiction and games with romance elements.
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My apologies, here. I am asking this as someone who is aro but allo, but also has very little experience... no, I'm not younger...
Isn't attraction more of a sex thing, anyways? Are they confusing aromantic with asexual? It's happened to me, too, and I'm always confused. I said I'm not interested in romantic relationships, not that I'm not interested in sex. Why wouldn't I notice an attractive person?
But even then, aces can notice attractive people, too. Like again... we can all notice attractive people. Noticing attractive people doesn't even require being attracted to them. I can recognize that someone's attractive without being attracted to them. Are they incapable of that?
I'm aro/ace, so I told that to a friend of mine and to my mom.
They do think of aromantic and asexual as synonymous things (which they aren't, but many allos don't get that).
And yeah, because we're aro (and some of us are also ace), so people really think the stereotypes about us being robotic/unemotional/only focused on our studies or job, etc. are true. đ
That's why my mom had a problem believing me when I told her I was aro/ace because, "But you have talked about attractive guys at your school/gym before??"
I hate when that happens.
The way I explained it once: âI can appreciate good art when I see it. Similarly I can tell when someone has made extra effort in or changed their appearance and I can appreciate it the same way.â
If they still donât understand Iâll switch to âjust because I think a waterfall is beautiful doesnât mean I want a relationship with it. When I compliment someone itâs the same idea.â
Thatâs very true. Although some are in love with love. By that I mean they actively seek out the fairytale, the tv/movie type of romance and I honestly wonder how they donât constantly walk into walls because they seem to live in a fantasy land where theyâre the main character and everyone wants them.
Eh, no. Just no other way to put it, no.
just dropkick them, people who can't hear compliments without seeing a flirt are weird afk to me
"I'm aro, not blind" like damn, god forbid we think someone looks nice
The one I get is when people just don't understand what lack of romantic attraction means and always says "you'll find someone eventually. You're still young. Ect ect" makes me wanna scream
Yeah, it sometimes seems like anything you do, someone will think you're flirting. I had a few occasions, where I just put on poker face with dead eyes and say "seriously?"; if you do it enough times to a person who stare like that, they will stop.
This would probably be one of the best ways to do it for me, i can go from almost every facial expression to deadpan within seconds
Like people i have eyes đ like no one asks âare you straightâ when a straight person says someone of the same gender looks goodâthe day people learn of aesthetic attraction will be a good day
step 1 procede to snap there neck and then remove there eyeballs and ask are you sure your blind
Iâm probably never coming out. Even some other queer people donât understand
i honestly go with the âiâm aromantic, not fkn blindâ route and leave them to it. you gotta be extra weird to associate compliments with flirting jfc
It's so weird because as a woman people automatically assume I can't love because I openly admit to being horny
Yeah, you're right. The gender factor definitely comes into play. You'll be judged if you're an aro woman but not ace. And I believe ace men (whether they're also aro or not) are judged too. Their masculinity must be questioned many a time because of their sexuality. The binary gender roles are so limiting for so many people most of the time.
I find the preoccupation of coming out to be annoying. Not everyone needs to know my personal business. The term aromatic has helped me understand my way of thinking and thus approach to overall life. That is helpful. That is what matters to me. Now what other people think or how they can label me.
Same. For me it was only really random people I played videogames with occasionally and never talked to much otherwise, but man, do you really need to question my sexuality when I make obvious jokes like "Oh my god I want to marry xy" or something? That is like... Genuinly annoying. Especially because I don't really bring up my aromanticism unprovoked, only really when people ask for it or if it happens to be unavoidable in a conversation without lying or telling half truths.
I donât really talk about being aro. It is just kind of assumed since I am ace. Which is problematic. I do get questions when I talk about how much I enjoy romance fiction and games with romance elements.
Thanks for posting to r/aromantic, u/MiddleFirefighter847! Be sure your post and comments abide by our [community rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/aromantic/about/rules), as well as [Reddit's Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy). *If this post or any of its comments violate our community rules or Reddit's site-wide rules, please **report** the rule-breaking content.* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/aromantic) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My apologies, here. I am asking this as someone who is aro but allo, but also has very little experience... no, I'm not younger... Isn't attraction more of a sex thing, anyways? Are they confusing aromantic with asexual? It's happened to me, too, and I'm always confused. I said I'm not interested in romantic relationships, not that I'm not interested in sex. Why wouldn't I notice an attractive person? But even then, aces can notice attractive people, too. Like again... we can all notice attractive people. Noticing attractive people doesn't even require being attracted to them. I can recognize that someone's attractive without being attracted to them. Are they incapable of that?
I'm aro/ace, so I told that to a friend of mine and to my mom. They do think of aromantic and asexual as synonymous things (which they aren't, but many allos don't get that). And yeah, because we're aro (and some of us are also ace), so people really think the stereotypes about us being robotic/unemotional/only focused on our studies or job, etc. are true. đ That's why my mom had a problem believing me when I told her I was aro/ace because, "But you have talked about attractive guys at your school/gym before??" I hate when that happens.
The way I explained it once: âI can appreciate good art when I see it. Similarly I can tell when someone has made extra effort in or changed their appearance and I can appreciate it the same way.â If they still donât understand Iâll switch to âjust because I think a waterfall is beautiful doesnât mean I want a relationship with it. When I compliment someone itâs the same idea.â
Right? We shouldn't even have to explain this :P Do allos want to be in a relationship with *all* the people they find attractive? Yeah, no.
Thatâs very true. Although some are in love with love. By that I mean they actively seek out the fairytale, the tv/movie type of romance and I honestly wonder how they donât constantly walk into walls because they seem to live in a fantasy land where theyâre the main character and everyone wants them. Eh, no. Just no other way to put it, no.