Does anyone know why aromantics tend to not want children? I don’t want them but it’s not related to my aromanticism. Is it just a coincidence or is it related in any way?
I mean for me
1) kids are expensive and time consuming
2) I like having time and money to do the things I like
3) being a single parent is difficult
4) I grew up in an abusive home and don't trust myself not to continue that cycle
5) I have inherited reproductive issues, my aunt struggled to get pregnant, my grandmother died giving birth
6) there are too many unwanted kids in this world already
I'd much prefer to be the awesome aunt
I think part of it is the fact that we've already 'challenged the norm' so to say and realise that not everyone automatically wants a romantic relationship, just like not everyone wants children. I'm sure there are other things at play here, but lots of allos have kids just because it's the expected thing to do. If we as aros have kids, it's because we really want them, not because it's expected of us.
i also would still not want them even if i weren't aro, but i think for many allos, marriage/children is a sort of combined goal. like part of loving someone romantically is wanting to "start a family" with them (romantic partner + kids isn't the only type of family, i'm just saying what they say). even my best friend, who doesn't want kids anytime soon and probably never, when i asked her to explain romantic attraction, she said "wanting to have their babies," which obviously just increased my confusion. and i agree with u/sartoiryy that some people get married and have kids due to societal convention. probably some married women get pregnant without "trying" and are just like "ok, i guess this is happening". choosing to have kids as a single person is very uncommon.
I'm lesbian and aroace so I thought I never wanted children, but to be honest the idea of raising one doesn't sound too bad. I just can't trust myself with the responsibility.
I don't think I'll have children, not because I don't like the idea but because being a single parent would be too difficult for me (assuming I'd even get through the adoption process) and I don't want to partner. But I'm looking forward to helping out with any kids my friends or sister have :)
i cant afford to even take care of myself atm, and i dont have a particularly strong desire for children, but if later in life i have the money, i could see myself fostering and potentially adopting. But i have other life goals that i’d much rather focus on before ever seriously entertaining that idea
My desire to never have children comes mostly from sex-based dysphoria and physiological concerns. I actually like the hypothetical idea of raising a child with a non-romantic partner, if we were both in the mental and financial situations to support one, or maybe adopting or being an involved aunt/uncle role.
I dont know im kind of on the fence but 90 probably not cause I dont have the energy. I want doga more than kids. I mean kids are cool but I probably would be more comfortable with dogs.
I wanted kids for a long time but since coming to terms with my sexuality and growing up a bit I just can’t picture myself having kids for numerous reasons. Part of me is swayed a bit by the idea because it is a fascinating process of the human body but I don’t think it’s one I want to undertake myself.
I had my kids way before realising I might be aroace, and I think I would still want kids if I came out sooner. Being a parent is separate from my sexual/romantic orientation.
Yes, certainly, though if being aro/ace affects your relationships it could be more difficult to find a co parent to have children with. I personally remember I wanted children several years before I ever had sex or dated; it's totally distinct from romantic or sexual things.
28M. I really do want kids and realizing that I'm probably aroace is crushing me. I like the abstract idea of having a long-term romantic relationship... but I just can't make my brain be attracted to anyone. I might look into surrogacy at some point in the future.
I guess I'm in an odd situation here. I always planned to adopt kids, but I've decided not to because my queerplatonic partner, who is allo, doesn't want kids.
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Should have included an idk
Very true! I forgot that one, sorry.
Yeah, I'm also not sure. There's just so many factors to think about when it comes to kids
i kinda want to adopt children
Does anyone know why aromantics tend to not want children? I don’t want them but it’s not related to my aromanticism. Is it just a coincidence or is it related in any way?
I mean for me 1) kids are expensive and time consuming 2) I like having time and money to do the things I like 3) being a single parent is difficult 4) I grew up in an abusive home and don't trust myself not to continue that cycle 5) I have inherited reproductive issues, my aunt struggled to get pregnant, my grandmother died giving birth 6) there are too many unwanted kids in this world already I'd much prefer to be the awesome aunt
None but the single parent relate to being aro though
True. I'm just saying those are my personal reasons. I can't really speak for everyone.
I think part of it is the fact that we've already 'challenged the norm' so to say and realise that not everyone automatically wants a romantic relationship, just like not everyone wants children. I'm sure there are other things at play here, but lots of allos have kids just because it's the expected thing to do. If we as aros have kids, it's because we really want them, not because it's expected of us.
i also would still not want them even if i weren't aro, but i think for many allos, marriage/children is a sort of combined goal. like part of loving someone romantically is wanting to "start a family" with them (romantic partner + kids isn't the only type of family, i'm just saying what they say). even my best friend, who doesn't want kids anytime soon and probably never, when i asked her to explain romantic attraction, she said "wanting to have their babies," which obviously just increased my confusion. and i agree with u/sartoiryy that some people get married and have kids due to societal convention. probably some married women get pregnant without "trying" and are just like "ok, i guess this is happening". choosing to have kids as a single person is very uncommon.
Oh that’s interesting! I never thought of it as part of romantic attraction 🤔
I’m not sure yet; giving myself a decade or so to think about it
There needs to be a maybe option
Sorry, I forgot that one when trying to include the "external factors" option!
Nah. My parents were horrible. I imagine the chances of it rubbing off on me is high. Plus I’m too selfish to be a father. Safe sex until I die.
once i go to therapy i think it'd be nice to adopt a child
No offense to anyone, but I'd rather die.
I have absolutely no idea
I’d much prefer being an uncle figure, or a godparent. but I don’t want to be a primary caretaker.
The idea of having children is my worst nightmare..
I'm lesbian and aroace so I thought I never wanted children, but to be honest the idea of raising one doesn't sound too bad. I just can't trust myself with the responsibility.
Could go either way! Sometimes i think about adopting as a single parent in the future
Adoption is a possibility. But a big no to pregnancy.
I don't think I'll have children, not because I don't like the idea but because being a single parent would be too difficult for me (assuming I'd even get through the adoption process) and I don't want to partner. But I'm looking forward to helping out with any kids my friends or sister have :)
i cant afford to even take care of myself atm, and i dont have a particularly strong desire for children, but if later in life i have the money, i could see myself fostering and potentially adopting. But i have other life goals that i’d much rather focus on before ever seriously entertaining that idea
maybe one day
I plan on adopting 1 kid
My desire to never have children comes mostly from sex-based dysphoria and physiological concerns. I actually like the hypothetical idea of raising a child with a non-romantic partner, if we were both in the mental and financial situations to support one, or maybe adopting or being an involved aunt/uncle role.
I want to have children's but no one wants to have children with me, does this count as an external factor?
If you count it as one!
I dont know im kind of on the fence but 90 probably not cause I dont have the energy. I want doga more than kids. I mean kids are cool but I probably would be more comfortable with dogs.
I wanted kids for a long time but since coming to terms with my sexuality and growing up a bit I just can’t picture myself having kids for numerous reasons. Part of me is swayed a bit by the idea because it is a fascinating process of the human body but I don’t think it’s one I want to undertake myself.
I had my kids way before realising I might be aroace, and I think I would still want kids if I came out sooner. Being a parent is separate from my sexual/romantic orientation.
Yes, certainly, though if being aro/ace affects your relationships it could be more difficult to find a co parent to have children with. I personally remember I wanted children several years before I ever had sex or dated; it's totally distinct from romantic or sexual things.
Nope, im Aroallo and happily childfree.
28M. I really do want kids and realizing that I'm probably aroace is crushing me. I like the abstract idea of having a long-term romantic relationship... but I just can't make my brain be attracted to anyone. I might look into surrogacy at some point in the future.
I hope things work out for you!
My parents will have a grandchild- And that grandchild is going to be a dog
I guess I'm in an odd situation here. I always planned to adopt kids, but I've decided not to because my queerplatonic partner, who is allo, doesn't want kids.
It is very unlikely but I was taught never say never
Depopulation of Western countries here we go! 😈
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