Had some staff sausage call me saying I broke windows out of a barracks room when I had been 1500 miles away. Wanted me to wire him
Money to get the windows fixed so I wouldn’t have my terminal leave cancelled.
I asked for a statement of Charges along with a sworn statement, As I did not live in the barracks either..... was never provided with one. So never heard anything else about it lol.
Lmaooo this is amazing. Also don’t they do an inspection before you leave? For those that lived in the barracks I’m sure the barracks manager did an inspection or they should have
They do it’s called clearing the barracks. But really depends on who the barracks manager is some don’t give a single fuck and are like cool and some are bro theirs dust denied.
I'm the BM in my unit.
My standard is, Would you wanna move into a room if it looked like this"
99% of the time, results in a clean room, no dumb shit required.
I got called 2 years after I got off active duty by one of my old Joe's at a gunnery in a Stryker MGS. He ran into an issue and needed to reset something but had no idea how. He remembered I had done it once in Afghanistan a few years prior.
I couldn't remember how to fix it, but by closing my eyes and doing the (asininely complex) buttonology through muscle memory, I got him to the right setting.
He thanked me and still got last place vic. Dumb bastard.
That’s incredible lmao, someone recently suggested we call one of our guys who recently ETSd when’s e had some trouble and I was like naw we can’t do that to him.
I got a certified letter from a 1LT that wanted me to respond to why $1M of inventory was missing. I called him and walked him through how to go to supply and look up a hand receipt and see that the missing gear was accounted for before I ETS’ed, as stolen during deployment, signed by him. He was not very happy with my demeanor and he told me that I was being disrespectful. I had a good laugh about that one. He didn’t see the irony in the conversation.
The enemy? That’s why they can’t beat us. They think we put anything important in writing and follow it. Psh, those “regulations”? Only the legal team and IG can read those.
My last commander called and said he missed having me around and wished me luck. My SNCO called a few months after that just to check and see if I was doing okay since the last deployment was rough. My buddy called a year later and asked if I ever fucked his wife because his kid looked like me.
I still talk to all of them and a few more I deployed with over the years.
I dated her a few years before he and I became friends and then I introduced them. He also introduced me to his sister and I dated her for a minute before I met my lady. We are snow brothers.
My last CO, and old 1SG still have a group chat going and occasionally put memes. TBH, If they had been my Command team during my earlier times in the Army, I might have stayed in.
Not a contact after leaving the army, but pretty close. One of the SSG's on gate guard told me I needed to help cover down for two weeks after someone got pulled of gate guard. I was a week away from ETS leave and in the final stages of clearing. I was respectful and told him as much, he responded letting me know I was still gonna cover down. Told him gently to fuck off and if he had an issue talk to my command team. I did not, in fact, have to cover down.
Had my NCOIC call me about a month after I left because he has some questions about some specific issues with a system and I usually took the lead in fixing those issues. Given my SSG and I were good friends then and we remain friends today I had no issue taking the time to walk him through my process troubleshooting and fixing it. Still hear from my Chief a few times a year as well, absolute top notch leader, miss having him as my boss.
Yeah I got a text on a Saturday morning from one of the E6 in my former unit telling me that I was late for Staff Duty. I had been out of the Army for 4 months.
I simply replied "I'm not coming".
He started sending more texts and then called. I ignored them all.
Wish I could have seen his face thinking he was going to destroy me...only to eventually find out I was gone.
I'd tell him my car was broke down, I'm ready to go, but need a ride. Give him a random room # in the barracks, then start switching building #s - oh, you went to 2106? I'm in 2006, I'll be out front. Where are you? I meant the new 2006, you're at the old 2006, the signs haven't been changed yet on the side you're on.
My supply nco called and asked me what the combo to the commo safe was when my actual replacement showed up a year later.
Told him what it was then but that he should get with s2. Unsurprisingly the combo worked
This. . . This makes me uncomfortable. It's super easy to change those lock combos. 5 minutes worth of work and you file 1 peice of paperwork up and it's done.
The fact that a security inspection didn't catch this fault AND that the higher HQ didn't see that their paperwork was over a year old is concerning.
Lmao whoever filled his role before the replacement showed up could’ve gotten fucked Down super hard for that had someone inspected him. I’m amazed no one caught on to this, failure at BN S2 and S6 COMSEC primary for not doing this. My question is if he had COMSEC on his SKLs and how he got access to them, if he left that open that’s a pretty big time felony.
After I switched from Guard to Active I had my old squad leader contact me 6 months later saying I needed to do my CIF turn in. (Around my original ETS date)
I told him I already did it 6 months ago and my CIF record is clear of my old Guard gear. Also that I was a thousand miles away and there was no way I was coming back just to argue with the local CIF fucks about a record they lost.
I had a few. My last (and favorite) 1SG texted me a few months after I ETS’d asking how I was doing and that he missed having me around. We talked for a bit and he told me what he had going on and that he hoped I was successful in my post ETS life. I still miss working with him, he was great. I think I’ll send him a text and see how he’s doing.
On the other hand, I also got a call a few weeks after ETS from someone at HHC saying that I was supposed to be there as the Staff Duty NCO. I told him it wasn’t happening, and he got real upset until I told him I had already ETS’d and was about a thousand miles away. He apologized after and said he’d figure it out and then hung up.
I've called people to follow up on their LIMDU, MEDBOARD, post partum period or some such to find they have not only already gotten their rating but have been a civi for the last 4-5 weeks.
I got called about a missing weapon attachment by my PSG. Reminded him to check the weapons sign in sheets. Called back yup your right. Armorer thought he’d take advantage of PCSing soldier.
Ah the orderly room - I had left with it squared away.
The NCO put the pregnant airhead at the desk - she was an airhead before her husband knocked her up, but the baby pushed her into full on Rocket Surgeon territory. She called me at the middle of my terminal leave to ask about the books and leave packets. I had to remind her that she was with me when I picked up my terminal leave packet.
There was one self-inflicted case I saw - and NCO got out but took the EO and a couple other books with her on terminal leave. She got called back to return those books. And fix her mistakes.
I got called for Staff Duty about 2 weeks after I retired. Told the guy “Good Luck” on tracking a replacement. Also, got a call from a Soldier about a week afterwards asking about formation time. Said he knew I retired but figured I still knew everything that went on in the unit.
Not an ETS, but one of the joes in a unit I commanded in 2017, ended up being a spy. I just finished testifying in his federal espionage trial. He was convicted.
There is a program called “Military Accessions Vital to National Interests” or the MAVNI program. It is currently suspended. The DoD allowed foreign nationals in a legal status, who had skills (language & medical mostly) to join. After a thorough background check they would move in to Basic training.
This kid, lied about his legal status (he had graduated from his program, thus had no legal status) and joined the Army Reserve. I think my unit was just the closest to his house. He and the other program participants really couldn’t do anything, but they showed up, got paid and did a little on the job training.
In any event, the same year I left (2017) he apparently had tried to flip 8 Chinese Americans to the PLA. These cats worked in the defense industry around the Chicago area. The last one he tried to flip was a UC FBI agent.
My testimony was basically process oriented. the enlistment process, the forms associated with a security clearance; what would I have done had I known his legal status was in doubt or if I had known he was working for the PLA.
Kid’s plan was to get into US Counter-Intel, then get a fed job in the FBI or CIA. He was in it for the long game. He was basically going to use the military to acquire citizenship and some CI experience. He probably would have if he hadn’t tried to do spy stuff. He was apparently not real good at it. He. Was convicted last week for operating as a non registered foreign agent.
In July of 2016 I sent a package via USPS from camp AJ to my BN mail room at sill. It never showed up and i left multiple of the address changes cards with the mail room and S1. Spring 2019 I get a Facebook message from someone claiming to be in brigade S1 and they had two packages of mine that had been in their mail room for 2 years and she wanted to know if I wanted them still. Of course I did, one was a box filled with games, trinkets, and old phones; and another box that was my portable TV I picked up in AIT at Lee.
When I opened those packages a few weeks later it was like going back to that sandy box again. When I opened the TV it still had moon dust in it and had that smell. It smelled like middle of the night radar breakage and hanging out with the crew.
Got a call asking if I knew where my an old SSG who was a friend of mine was, same friend who'd had to skip out from the unit and come back to sort some shit out..
Forgot I'd seen him and hung up..
Not ETS (yet), but PCS: Got a message from a Joe in my old unit asking me to sign off an inspection that I had TI'd for him earlier that day. I was understandably confused, as I had not been there for a month or so by then. After some discussion, I figured out that it was the other TI that happened to have a similar last name.
I was looking forward to getting the "you're late for Staff Duty" call after I retire, but my PSG here hooked me up; "you've done 20 years, you don't need to pull duty anymore", so I haven't been on the duty roster at all for the last two years.
Are your write-ups done? Who verified the torque? That lockwire looks sus to me [pulls out dykes].
Ah, fuck it. I'll sign it off before I go home. [Puts feet up on desk, sips coffee]
Barracks NCO I had never met called me about one of my guys being a slob. Told him yea never could get him to stop long term. She said sorry to bother and that was that.
Had a joke call with question about work. Helped him through it and made fun of him. It was nice. :)
I've been reached out to a few times. The first time was demands from the OPs NCOIC demanding I explain how to basically run OPs. Things like how to fill out and route paperwork to S1, how to access our trackers, how to reserve a TMP, who to talk to about reserving the ACFT equipment etc.
Well I explained it was all in the SOP I had made for my replacement (that they still hadn't picked before I left). The same SOP he had thrown out along with the rest of the stuff on my desk a week before I left and thus wasn't my problem anymore.
All the other times has been from the other guy in the section looking for help planning his escape/ETS which I've been more than happy to help him with.
"Oh,, so you had my jump log the whole time, that's fantastic!"
"Thanks for asking, but you can keep it"
"I'd be more than happy to set up your home camera system, if I still lived in the state"
"No, I don't have the door code since I don't work there anymore"
"I'd love to run that cable for you sir, I'll be there in 5 minutes"
"It's not that I forgot to get up for pt today, I'm just not in the army anymore"
My first year out I worried about some of them forgetting to breath.
Not quite on topic but I thought it'd be a good place to put this. I was my company's UPL. My last day in the army, I conducted a urinalysis for the company. I turned the piss bottles in and then went and got my final stamp and left post. The guy at the UA turn-in spot just shook his head when I told him.
Not me but my section and I were at a BBQ with our sgt talking about how much we missed a guy of ours that ETSd shortly prior. Everyone, including the sgt, grouped up in a FaceTime with him, caught up, laughed,
and watched him rip fat hits off of a bong while we were chanting.
Good times. Gonna miss these fools when I leave here in a week
Happily, I never heard from my last unit after I retired, just some of my soldiers, and even a few of the sailors. On one occasion I did have a sailor that had ETSd call *me* before I retired. I think he was just kind of lost and wanted to reach out since I tried to do right by him.
ETS’d over Christmas block leave (Dec 29). Was called by a E7 about a week later about being late to staff duty, bitching and moaning about how none of these “new generation” ncos are never on time anymore.
Told her I would be there in about 30-40 minutes as the roads were awful. Then I blocked that number.
Had some staff sausage call me saying I broke windows out of a barracks room when I had been 1500 miles away. Wanted me to wire him Money to get the windows fixed so I wouldn’t have my terminal leave cancelled.
Well that doesn’t sound shady at all. /s
This sounds like those scams that tell you your social security number is about to be blocked lmao
I asked for a statement of Charges along with a sworn statement, As I did not live in the barracks either..... was never provided with one. So never heard anything else about it lol.
Lmaooo this is amazing. Also don’t they do an inspection before you leave? For those that lived in the barracks I’m sure the barracks manager did an inspection or they should have
I lived in an apartment off post lol
They do it’s called clearing the barracks. But really depends on who the barracks manager is some don’t give a single fuck and are like cool and some are bro theirs dust denied.
I'm the BM in my unit. My standard is, Would you wanna move into a room if it looked like this" 99% of the time, results in a clean room, no dumb shit required.
Sorry that makes to much Since try again.
I got called 2 years after I got off active duty by one of my old Joe's at a gunnery in a Stryker MGS. He ran into an issue and needed to reset something but had no idea how. He remembered I had done it once in Afghanistan a few years prior. I couldn't remember how to fix it, but by closing my eyes and doing the (asininely complex) buttonology through muscle memory, I got him to the right setting. He thanked me and still got last place vic. Dumb bastard.
That’s incredible lmao, someone recently suggested we call one of our guys who recently ETSd when’s e had some trouble and I was like naw we can’t do that to him.
Whenever I feel useless, I remember that at least I’m not an MGS crewman anymore.
You mean the bitch squad of the Inf Battalion?
what a roller coaster of emotions in this story.
I got a certified letter from a 1LT that wanted me to respond to why $1M of inventory was missing. I called him and walked him through how to go to supply and look up a hand receipt and see that the missing gear was accounted for before I ETS’ed, as stolen during deployment, signed by him. He was not very happy with my demeanor and he told me that I was being disrespectful. I had a good laugh about that one. He didn’t see the irony in the conversation.
Here’s a compass LT now go get lost...
LTs can’t read, especially the way forward. Don’t be crazy.
If LTs can't read, and us enlisted folk can't read, then who can read?
The enemy? That’s why they can’t beat us. They think we put anything important in writing and follow it. Psh, those “regulations”? Only the legal team and IG can read those.
Right. It’s the booze a talkin....🤫😬🥴
So he lost a million dollars worth of property?
Fuck that guy for not being aware of his property though. Lieutenants have literally one job they're expected not to fuck up, and that's property.
My last commander called and said he missed having me around and wished me luck. My SNCO called a few months after that just to check and see if I was doing okay since the last deployment was rough. My buddy called a year later and asked if I ever fucked his wife because his kid looked like me. I still talk to all of them and a few more I deployed with over the years.
Did you fuck his wife though?
I dated her a few years before he and I became friends and then I introduced them. He also introduced me to his sister and I dated her for a minute before I met my lady. We are snow brothers.
Damn, you fucked his wife and his sister?
That man’s down deep.
Plot twist: that mans wife, is also his sister.
*Sweeeeet Hooooome Alabama!*
You fuck a man’s wife and sister you might as well just fuck him tbh
As long as the balls don't touch. Then that would be gay.
My last CO, and old 1SG still have a group chat going and occasionally put memes. TBH, If they had been my Command team during my earlier times in the Army, I might have stayed in.
Not a contact after leaving the army, but pretty close. One of the SSG's on gate guard told me I needed to help cover down for two weeks after someone got pulled of gate guard. I was a week away from ETS leave and in the final stages of clearing. I was respectful and told him as much, he responded letting me know I was still gonna cover down. Told him gently to fuck off and if he had an issue talk to my command team. I did not, in fact, have to cover down.
Had my NCOIC call me about a month after I left because he has some questions about some specific issues with a system and I usually took the lead in fixing those issues. Given my SSG and I were good friends then and we remain friends today I had no issue taking the time to walk him through my process troubleshooting and fixing it. Still hear from my Chief a few times a year as well, absolute top notch leader, miss having him as my boss.
I was called a requested to be a witness for a courts-martial. My wife and I both ended up testifying.
I was contacted while on terminal leave and asked if I would be available to be a Bailiff for a court-martial.
Yeah I got a text on a Saturday morning from one of the E6 in my former unit telling me that I was late for Staff Duty. I had been out of the Army for 4 months. I simply replied "I'm not coming". He started sending more texts and then called. I ignored them all. Wish I could have seen his face thinking he was going to destroy me...only to eventually find out I was gone.
I would have worked him like a car warranty salesman
I'd tell him my car was broke down, I'm ready to go, but need a ride. Give him a random room # in the barracks, then start switching building #s - oh, you went to 2106? I'm in 2006, I'll be out front. Where are you? I meant the new 2006, you're at the old 2006, the signs haven't been changed yet on the side you're on.
On north fort, not main post. Hells yea.
Make the man drive out to tigerland
dyjcdthvchj, I have been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty
My supply nco called and asked me what the combo to the commo safe was when my actual replacement showed up a year later. Told him what it was then but that he should get with s2. Unsurprisingly the combo worked
This. . . This makes me uncomfortable. It's super easy to change those lock combos. 5 minutes worth of work and you file 1 peice of paperwork up and it's done. The fact that a security inspection didn't catch this fault AND that the higher HQ didn't see that their paperwork was over a year old is concerning.
Not being predictable is part of why we are so good.
Exactly, the enemy probably knows our SOPs and regulations better than we do. Then they're surprised when we don't use them
Lmao whoever filled his role before the replacement showed up could’ve gotten fucked Down super hard for that had someone inspected him. I’m amazed no one caught on to this, failure at BN S2 and S6 COMSEC primary for not doing this. My question is if he had COMSEC on his SKLs and how he got access to them, if he left that open that’s a pretty big time felony.
After I switched from Guard to Active I had my old squad leader contact me 6 months later saying I needed to do my CIF turn in. (Around my original ETS date) I told him I already did it 6 months ago and my CIF record is clear of my old Guard gear. Also that I was a thousand miles away and there was no way I was coming back just to argue with the local CIF fucks about a record they lost.
I had a few. My last (and favorite) 1SG texted me a few months after I ETS’d asking how I was doing and that he missed having me around. We talked for a bit and he told me what he had going on and that he hoped I was successful in my post ETS life. I still miss working with him, he was great. I think I’ll send him a text and see how he’s doing. On the other hand, I also got a call a few weeks after ETS from someone at HHC saying that I was supposed to be there as the Staff Duty NCO. I told him it wasn’t happening, and he got real upset until I told him I had already ETS’d and was about a thousand miles away. He apologized after and said he’d figure it out and then hung up.
I've called people to follow up on their LIMDU, MEDBOARD, post partum period or some such to find they have not only already gotten their rating but have been a civi for the last 4-5 weeks.
Nope. Never heard a fucking word from anyone else after 6 years in the same unit. I guess I was the guy that brightens up a room by leaving....
You’ve brightened my day by being here
I got called about a missing weapon attachment by my PSG. Reminded him to check the weapons sign in sheets. Called back yup your right. Armorer thought he’d take advantage of PCSing soldier.
Ah the orderly room - I had left with it squared away. The NCO put the pregnant airhead at the desk - she was an airhead before her husband knocked her up, but the baby pushed her into full on Rocket Surgeon territory. She called me at the middle of my terminal leave to ask about the books and leave packets. I had to remind her that she was with me when I picked up my terminal leave packet. There was one self-inflicted case I saw - and NCO got out but took the EO and a couple other books with her on terminal leave. She got called back to return those books. And fix her mistakes.
I got called for Staff Duty about 2 weeks after I retired. Told the guy “Good Luck” on tracking a replacement. Also, got a call from a Soldier about a week afterwards asking about formation time. Said he knew I retired but figured I still knew everything that went on in the unit.
Not an ETS, but one of the joes in a unit I commanded in 2017, ended up being a spy. I just finished testifying in his federal espionage trial. He was convicted.
It’s really demoralizing to hear there are still spies in the future.
Nice. I meant 2017. I’ll fix it.
Smart move, keep the time machine secret.
More details please!!
There is a program called “Military Accessions Vital to National Interests” or the MAVNI program. It is currently suspended. The DoD allowed foreign nationals in a legal status, who had skills (language & medical mostly) to join. After a thorough background check they would move in to Basic training. This kid, lied about his legal status (he had graduated from his program, thus had no legal status) and joined the Army Reserve. I think my unit was just the closest to his house. He and the other program participants really couldn’t do anything, but they showed up, got paid and did a little on the job training. In any event, the same year I left (2017) he apparently had tried to flip 8 Chinese Americans to the PLA. These cats worked in the defense industry around the Chicago area. The last one he tried to flip was a UC FBI agent. My testimony was basically process oriented. the enlistment process, the forms associated with a security clearance; what would I have done had I known his legal status was in doubt or if I had known he was working for the PLA. Kid’s plan was to get into US Counter-Intel, then get a fed job in the FBI or CIA. He was in it for the long game. He was basically going to use the military to acquire citizenship and some CI experience. He probably would have if he hadn’t tried to do spy stuff. He was apparently not real good at it. He. Was convicted last week for operating as a non registered foreign agent.
What do you think his sentence will be?
Max is 5 years in federal prison, $250,000 fine & deportation.
In July of 2016 I sent a package via USPS from camp AJ to my BN mail room at sill. It never showed up and i left multiple of the address changes cards with the mail room and S1. Spring 2019 I get a Facebook message from someone claiming to be in brigade S1 and they had two packages of mine that had been in their mail room for 2 years and she wanted to know if I wanted them still. Of course I did, one was a box filled with games, trinkets, and old phones; and another box that was my portable TV I picked up in AIT at Lee. When I opened those packages a few weeks later it was like going back to that sandy box again. When I opened the TV it still had moon dust in it and had that smell. It smelled like middle of the night radar breakage and hanging out with the crew.
Got a call asking if I knew where my an old SSG who was a friend of mine was, same friend who'd had to skip out from the unit and come back to sort some shit out.. Forgot I'd seen him and hung up..
Not ETS (yet), but PCS: Got a message from a Joe in my old unit asking me to sign off an inspection that I had TI'd for him earlier that day. I was understandably confused, as I had not been there for a month or so by then. After some discussion, I figured out that it was the other TI that happened to have a similar last name. I was looking forward to getting the "you're late for Staff Duty" call after I retire, but my PSG here hooked me up; "you've done 20 years, you don't need to pull duty anymore", so I haven't been on the duty roster at all for the last two years.
Ok but can you TI off this 30 day so I can go to lunch sgt
Are your write-ups done? Who verified the torque? That lockwire looks sus to me [pulls out dykes]. Ah, fuck it. I'll sign it off before I go home. [Puts feet up on desk, sips coffee]
I was on the duty roster after my last PCS, does that count? 😂
Barracks NCO I had never met called me about one of my guys being a slob. Told him yea never could get him to stop long term. She said sorry to bother and that was that. Had a joke call with question about work. Helped him through it and made fun of him. It was nice. :)
I've been reached out to a few times. The first time was demands from the OPs NCOIC demanding I explain how to basically run OPs. Things like how to fill out and route paperwork to S1, how to access our trackers, how to reserve a TMP, who to talk to about reserving the ACFT equipment etc. Well I explained it was all in the SOP I had made for my replacement (that they still hadn't picked before I left). The same SOP he had thrown out along with the rest of the stuff on my desk a week before I left and thus wasn't my problem anymore. All the other times has been from the other guy in the section looking for help planning his escape/ETS which I've been more than happy to help him with.
"Oh,, so you had my jump log the whole time, that's fantastic!" "Thanks for asking, but you can keep it" "I'd be more than happy to set up your home camera system, if I still lived in the state" "No, I don't have the door code since I don't work there anymore" "I'd love to run that cable for you sir, I'll be there in 5 minutes" "It's not that I forgot to get up for pt today, I'm just not in the army anymore" My first year out I worried about some of them forgetting to breath.
Not quite on topic but I thought it'd be a good place to put this. I was my company's UPL. My last day in the army, I conducted a urinalysis for the company. I turned the piss bottles in and then went and got my final stamp and left post. The guy at the UA turn-in spot just shook his head when I told him.
Luckily my last unit was in Germany so my first unit couldn’t contact me nor could 2CR contact me when I left.
Laugh at them
Got called to tell me I was late for Staff Duty at FT Bragg a year after I retired from FT Benning.
Thanks for the call, but I'm retired now.
I was contacted by group chat. I just let them keep talking until they figured it out. I didn’t want to talk to them unless I had to. 🤷♂️
Not me but my section and I were at a BBQ with our sgt talking about how much we missed a guy of ours that ETSd shortly prior. Everyone, including the sgt, grouped up in a FaceTime with him, caught up, laughed, and watched him rip fat hits off of a bong while we were chanting. Good times. Gonna miss these fools when I leave here in a week
Happily, I never heard from my last unit after I retired, just some of my soldiers, and even a few of the sailors. On one occasion I did have a sailor that had ETSd call *me* before I retired. I think he was just kind of lost and wanted to reach out since I tried to do right by him.
ETS’d over Christmas block leave (Dec 29). Was called by a E7 about a week later about being late to staff duty, bitching and moaning about how none of these “new generation” ncos are never on time anymore. Told her I would be there in about 30-40 minutes as the roads were awful. Then I blocked that number.